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  #1  
Old 03-11-2014, 02:33 PM
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Default I Think DCM Lied To Me About When DCK Started Antibiotics

DCK was coming today late, so I asked if there was a doctors appointment or something, dad said no it was yesterday, mom says DCK started antibiotics Saturday. I mentioned to DCM that dad said the doctors appointment was yesterday and if DCK had started antibiotics yesterday then she would be excluded. DCM says she knows about my 24 hour rule so she found old antibiotics in their house and started dosing the child on Saturday and then took her to the doctors on Monday. Then later on she says that she also took her to the walk-in clinic on Saturday(if she took he to the clinic Saturday, why the need to use old medication). It just doesn't make sense!

I think she's lying to me (and does fairly often) and that DCK only started her antibiotics yesterday and should have been excluded today. I would have had to accuse the mom of lying...how would you ladies have handled it? Confront about the lie or let it go? I will be asking the dad about it at pickup. But this has happened before...the dad will give me the real story, I confront mom about the lie And she throws Dad under the bus and makes him out to be an idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about.
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Old 03-11-2014, 02:43 PM
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ugh. I hate when I am lied to by parents especially about illness.

i would start requiring docotrs note with diagnosis each and every time they go to the docs. I have in my PHB that if your child is taken to the doctors due to illness that they will be required to get a note stating diagnosis and name any medications given. IT is up to me to decide what I want to do from there.
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Old 03-11-2014, 02:44 PM
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I would type up a letter/add on policy stating 48 hour exclusion instead of 24 hour exclusion for this family and state your reason as "abuse of policy." Make both parents sign. They will get the message and you won't be played as easily hopefully.
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Old 03-11-2014, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by TaylorTots View Post
I would type up a letter/add on policy stating 48 hour exclusion instead of 24 hour exclusion for this family and state your reason as "abuse of policy." Make both parents sign. They will get the message and you won't be played as easily hopefully.
I would not do this. right now OP is only assuming that the DCM is lying, which it does sound like she is, but without proof that she is, I would not do this.

Hopefully someone else will chime in here. I am not good at dealing with confrontation. I know that I may have been lied to in the past and was not too sure how to deal with it. I just found that even when I tried to take care of it, that the parent just became better at hiding stuff from me.

Perhaps you should just be out front and talk to them about it. I would talk to the dcd and just say I am confused about when DCK started antibiotics and ask for explanation. If you find out that the mom lied I would then have to confront her and let her know that if it ever happens again that you will term on the spot.
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:03 PM
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I would not do this. right now OP is only assuming that the DCM is lying, which it does sound like she is, but without proof that she is, I would not do this.

Hopefully someone else will chime in here. I am not good at dealing with confrontation. I know that I may have been lied to in the past and was not too sure how to deal with it. I just found that even when I tried to take care of it, that the parent just became better at hiding stuff from me.

Perhaps you should just be out front and talk to them about it. I would talk to the dcd and just say I am confused about when DCK started antibiotics and ask for explanation. If you find out that the mom lied I would then have to confront her and let her know that if it ever happens again that you will term on the spot.
Fair enough, it's how I have handled repeated policy abuse (which is sounds like OP is dealing with). Changing your policy to require doctor notes would work as well.
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:11 PM
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Fair enough, it's how I have handled repeated policy abuse (which is sounds like OP is dealing with). Changing your policy to require doctor notes would work as well.
yes sorry, If dad's story does not match up then I think its safe to say that dcm is lying. If that is the case then I would hit them with the policy abuse exclusion.
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:23 PM
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Her story doesn't make any sense at all. Like none! First, who has old liquid antibiotics laying around? They lose their effectiveness once they've been turned into liquid and sit. When was the last time this child was on antibiotics? Rarely have I had "leftover" meds when it comes to antibiotics unless they don't get finished properly. Occasionally there's maybe a dose but not enough to get you through multiple days (Sat & Sun) PLUS how was she able to diagnose the problem and know he needed these antibiotics? If he was sick on meds recently he may need a stronger antibiotic and giving him a lower dose of something weak can cause a multitude of problems like the child building a resistance or making the infection build a resistance.

I would get the dad's story because most likely yes, he started yesterday and she's lying. If she did what she claims she did (dosing at home with old meds) she's even worse in my book! And like you're saying, if she went to urgent care on Saturday why wouldn't THEY have given her an Rx and then WHY would they return to the dr on Monday? The whole thing sounds so stupid and made up to get around missing a day of work to care for your child. I don't know what's wrong with this person that they feel their family is above the policies they agreed to when starting in your care.
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Old 03-11-2014, 06:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asmithdaycare View Post
DCK was coming today late, so I asked if there was a doctors appointment or something, dad said no it was yesterday, mom says DCK started antibiotics Saturday. I mentioned to DCM that dad said the doctors appointment was yesterday and if DCK had started antibiotics yesterday then she would be excluded. DCM says she knows about my 24 hour rule so she found old antibiotics in their house and started dosing the child on Saturday and then took her to the doctors on Monday. Then later on she says that she also took her to the walk-in clinic on Saturday(if she took he to the clinic Saturday, why the need to use old medication). It just doesn't make sense!

I think she's lying to me (and does fairly often) and that DCK only started her antibiotics yesterday and should have been excluded today. I would have had to accuse the mom of lying...how would you ladies have handled it? Confront about the lie or let it go? I will be asking the dad about it at pickup. But this has happened before...the dad will give me the real story, I confront mom about the lie And she throws Dad under the bus and makes him out to be an idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about.
ANY TIME a child goes to the doc, I don't care if it's for "allergies" or "teething", I require a dr form stating diagnosis, prognosis, limitations, etc.... If hyena re started in medications, I require the parents bring me the medication form, even if I'm not administering it. Even if it's OTC, etc. Even if its oragel. I need to know EVERY substance the kids ingest.
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Old 03-11-2014, 06:34 PM
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my husband brought up a good point of maybe the child is sick becuase they are not finishing their meds. he said there should never be left over meds if you took them according to the doctors orders. how long ago was the child sick?

like TK said, why would she give meds that are lying around. This does smell really fishy, but without straight out calling DCM out on it, I guess dad needs to close up the missing pieces of this nonsense story.

update us on what dad said. this should be interesting.
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Old 03-11-2014, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by daycare View Post
my husband brought up a good point of maybe the child is sick becuase they are not finishing their meds. he said there should never be left over meds if you took them according to the doctors orders. how long ago was the child sick?

like TK said, why would she give meds that are lying around. This does smell really fishy, but without straight out calling DCM out on it, I guess dad needs to close up the missing pieces of this nonsense story.

update us on what dad said. this should be interesting.
Also of point if the mom gave even old antibiotics on Saturday and the dr did some kind of culture on Monday, there would be a high likelihood of getting a false negative.... So big no no
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Old 03-11-2014, 06:38 PM
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Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
Her story doesn't make any sense at all. Like none! First, who has old liquid antibiotics laying around? They lose their effectiveness once they've been turned into liquid and sit. When was the last time this child was on antibiotics? Rarely have I had "leftover" meds when it comes to antibiotics unless they don't get finished properly. Occasionally there's maybe a dose but not enough to get you through multiple days (Sat & Sun) PLUS how was she able to diagnose the problem and know he needed these antibiotics? If he was sick on meds recently he may need a stronger antibiotic and giving him a lower dose of something weak can cause a multitude of problems like the child building a resistance or making the infection build a resistance.

I would get the dad's story because most likely yes, he started yesterday and she's lying. If she did what she claims she did (dosing at home with old meds) she's even worse in my book! And like you're saying, if she went to urgent care on Saturday why wouldn't THEY have given her an Rx and then WHY would they return to the dr on Monday? The whole thing sounds so stupid and made up to get around missing a day of work to care for your child. I don't know what's wrong with this person that they feel their family is above the policies they agreed to when starting in your care.
I was going to say, they must not have given him the antibiotics correctly if there is any left over. The story does not make sense!
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Old 03-12-2014, 05:57 AM
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I said to dad..."so I heard from DCM that DCK started antibiotics yesterday (Monday), right?" He answered "yup".

Now if I ask DCM about it I know she will throw DCD under the bus and say he didn't know what he was talking about. She's done this many times before when they've forgotten to bring something (she blames him for forgetting when he claims to have no I dea he was supposed to bring something) or she claims he doesn't know what he's talking about when he tells me the opposite of what she told me (same thing happens with grandma). She's been caught in lies before, like recently, DCK started having accidents at nap time, I mention it to mom and she says "I don't know why this only happens at YOUR HOUSE, what are you doing different?", then I say to Grandma at pickup (while handing her the bag of soiled clothes) "DCK had another accident at nap time", she responds with "oh ya, that happens every night at home" (DCM, DCD, and DCK live with the grandparents). So of course I'm texting mom later that DCK had another accident and might need to go up a size in pull-ups and again DCM says "idk why this only happens at your house, NEVER happens at home", so I tell her what grandma says that it happens every night, then DCM backtracks, "oh well, ya but it only happens at night not at nap time like it does at your house"(so it is happening at home as well, not like she said it "never happens"). I don't understand why she feels the need to lie to me. Anytime DCK has any issue at daycare I get the same line "I don't know why this only happens at your house", turns out the behavior is always happening at home as well.

Anyone have this mom? How do you deal with the lying and blaming me or other people for things?
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Old 03-12-2014, 11:14 AM
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I had a mom that used the "it only happens at your house" line, it wasn't for the same reasons as you are going through but that doesn't really matter. When she would say that I knew she wasn't being truthful and I termed. When I termed I told DCM that since she only appears to have these issues at my house she is obviously not thriving here so I am no longer comfortable keeping her in my care. I want her to be in a place where she IS thriving. DCM did a lot of back tracking but I held firm and the good news was DCM FINALLY got DCG the help she desperately needed!
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Old 03-12-2014, 11:28 AM
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I had the mom who blamed me she termed last week becauee "it was only happening here".

I hope she gets her son the help he needs but she is in such denial I think it wont be until he starts school this fall that he actually gets help.


My advice would be term. They wont accept it's not just at your house until they are faced with it happening elsewhere.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:04 PM
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so know you have the proof that she lied. I would be typing up an email now, sending it to her and telling her that you are aware that she lied to you about this matter and that if it ever happens again you will term on spot without refund.

I would also tell her that because of the lie that they are now on the 48 hr exclusion rule for all illness.
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Old 03-12-2014, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
Her story doesn't make any sense at all. Like none! First, who has old liquid antibiotics laying around? They lose their effectiveness once they've been turned into liquid and sit. When was the last time this child was on antibiotics? Rarely have I had "leftover" meds when it comes to antibiotics unless they don't get finished properly. Occasionally there's maybe a dose but not enough to get you through multiple days (Sat & Sun) PLUS how was she able to diagnose the problem and know he needed these antibiotics? If he was sick on meds recently he may need a stronger antibiotic and giving him a lower dose of something weak can cause a multitude of problems like the child building a resistance or making the infection build a resistance.

I would get the dad's story because most likely yes, he started yesterday and she's lying. If she did what she claims she did (dosing at home with old meds) she's even worse in my book! And like you're saying, if she went to urgent care on Saturday why wouldn't THEY have given her an Rx and then WHY would they return to the dr on Monday? The whole thing sounds so stupid and made up to get around missing a day of work to care for your child. I don't know what's wrong with this person that they feel their family is above the policies they agreed to when starting in your care.
Not to mention some antibiotics can be downright DANGEROUS to give after expiration date.

This mom is a. lying or b. dumb

or maybe both.
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