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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>New Dilemma :/
CedarCreek 12:04 PM 01-31-2013
This is going to be long, I'm sorry. 
I posted previously about a dck that I had that can be violent with the other children and myself as well as just plain disruptive. I talked to dcd yesterday about the behavior and I stated that I am not equipped to deal with dck. (he was having to pick dck up because he hurt another child) After he left, I typed up his termination letter and dated it for Friday. Dcd owed me money and stated he would come on Friday to give it to me. (he was taking the rest of the week off and possibly next week as well to give me a break from dck. I did not ask him to do that)
Later, dcd text me and says that he broke down when I said I might not be able to watch dck anymore and that he is at his wits end and he didnt want to lose me as his childs provider. The child has been tested and the results were not in yet. I told him that I was very sorry but I cannot continue to put the safety of the other children or myself at risk.
About 10 minutes later, dcd text me again. He was just called with the childs test results and they are recommending enrolling the child into a special needs pre-k program.
This is great news! I did the happy dance along with him and told him how great that was going to be for dck because they will know all about what he needs. Dcd agrees and says that he was so worried about him but now he only needs half a day of care after the program starts on the 7th...
Here's the dilemma:
One of my other dcms referred her friend that has two children to me. She is very driven to have her children enrolled here. I have one spot open but if I term the disruptive dck, I will have two spots for the referred friend. This is what I am leaning towards.
On the other hand, disruptive dck is going to be getting the help he needs now and I am wondering if his behavior might improve while he is here because of the new prek program. I may just be kidding myself. But if dck takes a morning class then by the time he gets here it will be nap time and then when he wakes up dcd will be here to get him. No real worries about behavior there. But there is no guarantee that he will have a morning class.
So, what would you do?
Do you term dck on Friday (two week notice) and take the two new children?
Or do you keep dck and hope his behavior improves if you have him possibly all morning everyday?
I posted previously about a dck that I had that can be violent with the other children and myself as well as just plain disruptive. I talked to dcd yesterday about the behavior and I stated that I am not equipped to deal with dck. (he was having to pick dck up because he hurt another child) After he left, I typed up his termination letter and dated it for Friday. Dcd owed me money and stated he would come on Friday to give it to me. (he was taking the rest of the week off and possibly next week as well to give me a break from dck. I did not ask him to do that)
Later, dcd text me and says that he broke down when I said I might not be able to watch dck anymore and that he is at his wits end and he didnt want to lose me as his childs provider. The child has been tested and the results were not in yet. I told him that I was very sorry but I cannot continue to put the safety of the other children or myself at risk.
About 10 minutes later, dcd text me again. He was just called with the childs test results and they are recommending enrolling the child into a special needs pre-k program.
This is great news! I did the happy dance along with him and told him how great that was going to be for dck because they will know all about what he needs. Dcd agrees and says that he was so worried about him but now he only needs half a day of care after the program starts on the 7th...Here's the dilemma:
One of my other dcms referred her friend that has two children to me. She is very driven to have her children enrolled here. I have one spot open but if I term the disruptive dck, I will have two spots for the referred friend. This is what I am leaning towards.
On the other hand, disruptive dck is going to be getting the help he needs now and I am wondering if his behavior might improve while he is here because of the new prek program. I may just be kidding myself. But if dck takes a morning class then by the time he gets here it will be nap time and then when he wakes up dcd will be here to get him. No real worries about behavior there. But there is no guarantee that he will have a morning class.
So, what would you do?
Do you term dck on Friday (two week notice) and take the two new children?
Or do you keep dck and hope his behavior improves if you have him possibly all morning everyday?
Childminder 12:10 PM 01-31-2013
Term. He will not improve overnight and trust me, from experience, you will wish you had when you have the chance. Btw, you won't get your money.
Heidi 12:18 PM 01-31-2013
I normally don't jump on the "term" train, but I think in this case, I would.
For financial reasons, and for mental health reasons
Maybe you could approach it as "you know, I've been thinking, and since dcb is going to go to school, it might be a good time for him to start fresh somewhere else with wrap-around care. After all we've been through, I think it would be best for all of us."
Be firm, though...no "what do you think?" more "this is how it's going to be..."
For financial reasons, and for mental health reasons
Maybe you could approach it as "you know, I've been thinking, and since dcb is going to go to school, it might be a good time for him to start fresh somewhere else with wrap-around care. After all we've been through, I think it would be best for all of us."
Be firm, though...no "what do you think?" more "this is how it's going to be..."
CedarCreek 12:23 PM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
I normally don't jump on the "term" train, but I think in this case, I would.
For financial reasons, and for mental health reasons
Maybe you could approach it as "you know, I've been thinking, and since dcb is going to go to school, it might be a good time for him to start fresh somewhere else with wrap-around care. After all we've been through, I think it would be best for all of us."
Be firm, though...no "what do you think?" more "this is how it's going to be..."
oooo...that's good. I think I'll have to use that. I normally don't jump on the "term" train, but I think in this case, I would.
For financial reasons, and for mental health reasons
Maybe you could approach it as "you know, I've been thinking, and since dcb is going to go to school, it might be a good time for him to start fresh somewhere else with wrap-around care. After all we've been through, I think it would be best for all of us."
Be firm, though...no "what do you think?" more "this is how it's going to be..."
Sigh...I guess im just trying to be nicey nice. But all that has been doing lately is biting me in the butt.
Blackcat31 12:23 PM 01-31-2013
Full time ALWAYS trumps part time in my book.
kitykids3 05:37 PM 01-31-2013
I would take the 2 FT's and term the difficult child. Even if they can provide help to him, it doesn't mean he's going to become less violent right away. Plus 2 new FT is much better than 1 part time financially and it is obviously hard nowadays for most everyone financially.
countrymom 05:41 PM 01-31-2013
if he wasn't doing well being full time what do you think part time will bring, even if he is getting help. term, in the long run it will be the best.
coolconfidentme 08:39 PM 01-31-2013
Tell him you don't have a PT spot available for him to transition into..., only FT. It's a license thing, lol.
rmc20021 06:59 AM 02-01-2013
Personally, I wouldn't even second guess myself on this one. Terminate him asap and take the two full timers.
1. even if he begins this wonderful program that will help with his behaviors, it's going to take a lot of time to see results
2. he has a history with you, one of which he has had the bad behaviors with and his behaviors could continue as they've been for ALWAYS...it would be best to have him start some place new as he's transitioning into a new situation, he can transition all the way.
3. once you discover his behaviors have not changed over night, if ever, you're going to regret having kept him and giving up the opportunity for the other 2 full timers.
4. you have to look out for the other children in care...their safety and yours as well. Having him there is going to be a sacrifice everyone else has to make.
5. 1 part time vs 2 full time...absolutely no question in my mind what I'd do...especially if one was so disruptive. Even if he's only there during nap time, it's still going to be a decrease in finances for you. So not worth it.
These are my personal thoughts only, but I wouldn't even give it a second thought. Don't let dcd emotions control how you run your business...
1. even if he begins this wonderful program that will help with his behaviors, it's going to take a lot of time to see results
2. he has a history with you, one of which he has had the bad behaviors with and his behaviors could continue as they've been for ALWAYS...it would be best to have him start some place new as he's transitioning into a new situation, he can transition all the way.
3. once you discover his behaviors have not changed over night, if ever, you're going to regret having kept him and giving up the opportunity for the other 2 full timers.
4. you have to look out for the other children in care...their safety and yours as well. Having him there is going to be a sacrifice everyone else has to make.
5. 1 part time vs 2 full time...absolutely no question in my mind what I'd do...especially if one was so disruptive. Even if he's only there during nap time, it's still going to be a decrease in finances for you. So not worth it.
These are my personal thoughts only, but I wouldn't even give it a second thought. Don't let dcd emotions control how you run your business...
CedarCreek 10:09 AM 02-01-2013
Termed him today. My two full timers are going to start as soon as current dcp tells me whether or not he is going to utilize his two weeks of care. 