I have a mother who insists I hold her 2-1/2 year old son when she brings him in the mornings. She has a degree in early childhood development and she works at a daycare center in the administration dept. (I know, why doesnt she take her son there- I'll tell you why- she once told me that they dont hold the kids enough there, lol). Anyway, no matter what I am doing when they walk in, she insists I hold him. I was doing my daughters hair last week for her school pictures and was in a bit of a rush. This mom tried to get him to sit down and do a puzzle, but when he didnt want to she said "here" and handed him to me. I said "Im doing her hair for her school pictures, so do you want to sit in the booster or in one of these other chairs" to dcb who started whining. I mean this is ridiculous! This a.m., I was making pancakes and she brings him over to me and hands him to me. ENOUGH, this child is old enough to be put down on the floor. Let him cry and walk away! When they leave at the end of the day, she lets him walk out on his own and he runs around my yard for 15 minutes because he wont listen to her when she tells him to come get in the vehicle to leave. I think she is so afraid of upsetting him that she just gives in to whatever makes him happy. If it was one of my kids, I would pick their butt up and carry them over to my van and strap them in! And, when my kids went to daycare, my husband walked them in took off their coat handed the coat to the provider told our daughters goodbye and left. Does anyone else have this problem? And what do you do about it? I have said multiple times- "your a big boy, you dont need me to hold you" in front of his mom, but she ignores it. Also, I have tennis elbow in my left arm and have alot of pain, so it really doesnt feel good to be picking up these kids all day, kwim?

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Wow, I would just make it a point to be doing something when she comes, and when she tries to hand him off, I would say "sorry I cant, put him there for now" and just be adamant about it. You may actually have to come out and tell her, hey I cant hold him all th etime, and other kids need me to so he will need to adjust or you can find someone else. Sometimes, you have to be blunt!

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What about taking him, making a big deal about saying "Good morning! How are you today?" to him, and then plunking him down at the table or with the toys while saying "Have a good day!" to the mom? She sounds paranoid about making sure he's getting enough attention, so if you make a big deal about being happy to see him, maybe it'll put her mind at ease. Or at least, a little more at ease

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I was reading thru that going...ok, hold the baby...then I saw he is 2.5 lol...he can sit.

I would just keep setting him at the table or whatever AM activity you have out for them lol...and let mom see that that is what you are doing.

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I have a dcb (2.5) mom carries him in, carries him out.. does everything for him (this is the same one that hits, pushes, and bites)

If she tries to put him down to leave in the mornings he SCREAMS and she won't just leave so drop off is an hour long. So finally I told her to just hand him to me. It was just easier. She passes him to me I hold him til she is out the door and then I put him down.

Sometimes he will pitch a fit so I put him in the chair in the playroom and tell him he can come out when he is done yelling (not crying -yelling at me) he can come play with all of his friends. He only yells for a minute - if that.

but in my case - carrying him makes her leave faster and makes my mornings go quicker.

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I would be up front with her and let her know that "you understand that she took him out of care because she wanted him to have more one on one time. I am able to spend quality time with him during the day. But he is 2 years old and transitions are hard for children as you know. I want you to know I cannot hold him all the time because there is a lot to do to run a daycare but I do spend quality time with him and enjoy having him here."

Being a shy person this would be really hard for me to do but I have been learning in life to just bite the bullet and sometimes you need to say what must be said. I think her expectations are too great, IMO. I think the only way to prevent future problems is to chat with her about what you can and cannot do.

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I have a 3.5 year old (yep, I said 3.5) whose mother also wants to do this every single day. I finally told her that the other kids were watching this and now they all want to be "handed off" and that just wasn't practical every single morning, so we were going to have to find another way to handle this in the morning. She didn't think her kid would do it, but surprise, surprise, he now comes in every morning, happy as can be, with no "hand off" necessary.

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No, she never had him at the daycare center she works at. She started him here almost 1-1/2 years ago when she started that job. Before that she never put him in daycare. For the 1st two months that she brought him here, she did not go to work until 9 a.m. so she would bring him and take off her shoes and sit down on the floor and play with him for 30 minutes. It was insane. As a 1st time daycare provider, I didnt know what to do. I finally said to her something about how our former daycare provider (who has 23 years experience) always said it was much less traumatic on the child to just put them down and leave quickly. She is one of those people though, that just does what they want. I have a very open house. You enter through the front door into an entryway with wood floors, my living room is to the right and there is a big fireplace that extends up through the 2nd floor which separates my living room from my daycare area. My living room has plush white carpet and I have repeatedly asked that the daycare kids not go in this area as it is our personal "living" area. My daycare area is separated by gates. My own children do have some toys on my living room side, but they are kept in a toy organizer and in this toy organizer there are items that are gifts for their birthdays and toys that are not for daycare (I do feel like my children are entitled to having a few of their own toys since they share everything else). These are toys for naptime (since my 3 year old doesnt nap) and for after daycare hours, so they arent playing with them in front of the daycare kids. Also, until recently we had a china hutch and we have alot of my husbands electronic equipment including two computers and his home theater system. So, needless to say, I do not want other children near all of this equipment. This mom ALWAYS lets him go in my living room. I printed up a policy stating that this is personal living space, not part of the daycare and she still doesnt care. I also blocked the area off with ottomans and she let him climb over them. I just really feel as though no matter what I say or do she will just do as she wants, just like handing him to me in the mornings. Im sorry, I just really needed to vent about it because it drives me crazy. I should also mention that he is the 2nd oldest child here, so for her to think that Im going to hold him all day when there are younger kids here including my own son, is ridiculous.

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maybe it is time to have a "conference" with her about these issues.
It sounds like there are a few things that you need to confront her about. If she doesnt want to listen to the rules than maybe its time to let her go worrying about drop off or if she is going to go in my nondaycare area...that can really ruin your mood for the day. Find someone else who respects you.

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