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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parents Don't Want Their Kids Outside
permanentvacation 06:04 AM 06-17-2014
I am SO TIRED of being in the house most of the day! I used to take my kids outside as much and as long as possible. But the group I have had for quite some time now has parents who have conniption fits at one speck of dirt/grass stain, or scrapped knee!

The other day, I was just finishing up watering my plants with the hose outside as my first child arrived. I told him to sit on the step and wait until I was finished. His mother started fussing and said " I guess today wasn't a good day to put him in white shorts" I said, "He's just sitting on a step! He can't get THAT dirty!" His mother kept fussing about how his white shorts were going to get dirty.

Since this group of parents fuss about their kids getting messy, I have kept them inside as much as possible and just go out for the very minimum required. Then, I keep the kids on the porch and sidewalk. They are not allowed to run on the sidewalk because we certainly can't take a chance of falling and scraping a knee!

This is absurd! These parents don't want their kids to enjoy a fun summer outside! I am starting to get irritated at being trapped inside as well!

If I had the money, I think I would buy some of the messiest outdoor toys I can think of; sandbox, sidewalk chalk, lots of bubbles so they are nice and sticky, What else?? Just to let the kids have fun for at least a day or so (until their parents took them out of my daycare) and just to tick these parents off!
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Tdhmom 06:09 AM 06-17-2014
I would tell the dcp's not to dress them in anything they don't want ruined. We spend our whole day outside and all the kids (especially my own) are dirt balls by the end of the day. They're kids! That's what they do. That's how they learn. I wouldn't care how much fussing they did, I would be out there enjoying the weather and if they said anything at pick up I would politely suggest putting them in play clothes
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snbauser 06:12 AM 06-17-2014
Time to put a stop to that. Kids need to be outside. They need to run, climb, jump, and get messy. Tell each parent today that effective tomorrow you will be outside playing for extended periods of time. Tell them that children must arrive in play clothes and that you will not be responsible for clothes that get torn or messy during outside time.
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SignMeUp 06:19 AM 06-17-2014
I cover this briefly in my policy. "Children should be dressed appropriately for play, both indoors and outdoors."
A long time ago I had a parent who didn't want us to go outside our yard. She asked for an evening meeting and wanted me to bring all papers that she had signed. She asked exactly where she had given permission to go out of the yard. I showed her. She asked what would happen if she unchecked that box. I told her she would have to find childcare elsewhere because this is part of our program She never brought it up again
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cheerfuldom 06:21 AM 06-17-2014
I wouldnt play that game at all. Everyone goes outside and thats that. I would send out a notice today stating that as well as a reminder that you dont replace damages clothing or alter activities for those that chose to dress their children in anything but play clothes. I would also tell each parent "This is the new policy and I don't want to have questions and discussions each morning about little Aaron's clothing. Please dress him in play clothes from now on. "
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permanentvacation 06:22 AM 06-17-2014
I have told them not to dress them nicely, to dress them in play clothes. That is also stated in my contract. I've told them we spend a good bit of our day outside. But when they pick their kids up and they were dirty and sweaty, they would yell at their kids for being a mess. Then fuss with me over their kids' appearance. It wasn't right for their kids to get in trouble by their parents for being messy, so I started keeping them on the porch and sidewalk so they stay clean.

I guess I will just have to either keep them clean so the parents don't fuss or let them play like I usually do, and the parents will either get used to it and learn to dress their children for outdoor play, or leave my daycare. I just hate that the kids get yelled at by their parents for being dirty.
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llpa 06:40 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I wouldnt play that game at all. Everyone goes outside and thats that. I would send out a notice today stating that as well as a reminder that you dont replace damages clothing or alter activities for those that chose to dress their children in anything but play clothes. I would also tell each parent "This is the new policy and I don't want to have questions and discussions each morning about little Aaron's clothing. Please dress him in play clothes from now on. "

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TickleMonster 07:01 AM 06-17-2014
That's not right that the children get yelled at for getting dirty. Their kids! Don't these parents know anything about how children play? Ugh. Try to forget about that though and let the kids play and get dirty and have fun at your house because they obviously aren't allowed to do that at home.
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NoMoreJuice! 07:05 AM 06-17-2014
I have parents like that! I ask that all kids wear play-friendly clothing, but this one mom always dresses her daughter in fancy dresses, white tights, and shiny black shoes. So after breakfast she strips and puts on her play clothes and shoes, and we get crazy messy all day! Then at 5 she strips again, I wipe her down, and her fancy dress goes back on.

Yes, it's a PITA, but it keeps mom happy and the girl gets to be a kid all day. It's worth it to me.
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Play Care 07:07 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I wouldnt play that game at all. Everyone goes outside and thats that. I would send out a notice today stating that as well as a reminder that you dont replace damages clothing or alter activities for those that chose to dress their children in anything but play clothes. I would also tell each parent "This is the new policy and I don't want to have questions and discussions each morning about little Aaron's clothing. Please dress him in play clothes from now on. "


And I would stop entertaining any of their comments about it. They know the deal.
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permanentvacation 07:13 AM 06-17-2014
I've often asked the 4 year olds what they do on evenings and weekends. I've asked if they go to the park, outside in their yards, etc. All they ever say is that they go to McDonald's and play in the house either in their bedroom by themselves or in the living room by themselves. I found it odd that they never say anything about going outside or playing with their parents. So I started asking the parents what they do evenings and weekends. They say the same thing the kids do! I don't think they play with their kids or take them outside!

I usually like my parents (well at least the majority of them) and the kids. But this group, I really don't care for the parents and I think because of the way the parents raise them, I don't particularly care for the children so much either.

I guess from the lack of parental interaction, the kids are either being super needy or being really sneaky and mean to each other. The fact that they never go outside makes them flip out over critters. The one 4 year old boy cried his head off over the fact that there was an ANT - ONE ANT- on the floor beside him!!! He CRIED for 20 minutes over an ANT!!! The other 4 year old boy ran like a lion was chasing him because he saw a worm on the sidewalk!!! A WORM!!!! And not to be sexist, but they are 4 YEAR OLD BOYS!!!! They should be playing with the ant and worm, not crying and running about/from them!

This group is a bit much for me to deal with!

Oh, and they all of course watch tv.
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itlw8 07:14 AM 06-17-2014
Not a good day to wear white shorts //// I would have answered NO day is a good day to wear white shorts to preschool
GET OUTSIDE bubbles are cheap so is sand
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permanentvacation 07:19 AM 06-17-2014
When I first started doing daycare (at 17 yrs old) at my sister's licensed home daycare, we had a little girl whose mother would flip out if she had a speck of dirt on her. When she was 1-2 years old, we would strip her down toward the end of the day, wash and dry her clothes and give her a bath in the sink! I'm going to do that again. I'm not changing the clothes every day on 4 - 8 kids, I'm not bathing other people's children. I'm sorry, I'm just not going to go through all of that.
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craftymissbeth 07:23 AM 06-17-2014
I would tell every parent at pick up today that starting tomorrow they need to be in clothes that are ok to get dirty. Then let the kids do their thing outside and don't give it another thought. Clean their faces and hands and change them into their spare clothes if they're super messy, but don't worry about upsetting the parents. If you hear a parent yelling at their child for being messy tell the parent that part of your program is allowing the children to explore things they don't normally get to and messy activities are part of that. Tell them a good bubble bath and a change of clothes will wash away all of the day's evidence
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Little Buttons 07:24 AM 06-17-2014
I completely agree with the pp! Children need to be outside exploring, getting dirty, playing in the sprinkler and mudd! Yes sometimes bumps, scratches and bruises go along with that! Since the beginning of May we have been outdoors from breakfast until nap! It has made mealtime cleanup soooo nice lol! I request a daily pair of play/swim clothes. Our routine is we eat breakfast, i change them into swim/play clothes and then they are let loose into the yard to get as dirty as they please. I pack snacks and lunch up during breakfast and we eat those outaide at the picnic table. After lunch i hose them off on our deck, remove shoes, they change into regular clothes and take the BEST NAPS EVER! I received a few snippy comments about how filthy their play clothes were that i sent home each day. I smiled a big smile and said "Oh yes Johnny really knows how to play and have a blast!" Or "You should have seen what they looked like before i hosed them off and let them dry on the deck" *big smile*

Let the kids play and let the parents get over themselves!
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snbauser 07:25 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
I have told them not to dress them nicely, to dress them in play clothes. That is also stated in my contract. I've told them we spend a good bit of our day outside. But when they pick their kids up and they were dirty and sweaty, they would yell at their kids for being a mess. Then fuss with me over their kids' appearance. It wasn't right for their kids to get in trouble by their parents for being messy, so I started keeping them on the porch and sidewalk so they stay clean.

I guess I will just have to either keep them clean so the parents don't fuss or let them play like I usually do, and the parents will either get used to it and learn to dress their children for outdoor play, or leave my daycare. I just hate that the kids get yelled at by their parents for being dirty.
If they make a fuss at pick up I would simply say "that's what happens when we play outside. Good thing kids are washable" or something along those lines. If it happens enough, they will either get over it or start sending them in appropriate clothes. It's not fair to you or to the kids to not be able to play outside.
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NightOwl 07:30 AM 06-17-2014
It's actually in my handbook that children should come to my house in "appropriate" clothes for daycare and I make it very clear that they WILL get dirty. Let them ruin a couple of nice outfits and they'll get the hint. These are children we're talking about, not porcelain dolls.
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Leanna 07:30 AM 06-17-2014
Who sends a little kid to daycare in white shorts lol? All my families know from day one that we play outside daily and to send them in play clothes. Sounds like you've had that talk! I would send a final note reminder that we play outside and they need play clothes. If they still send them in "nice" you have a few choices:

Play outside anyway and take your chance they will terminate.

Change them into their spare outfits at the end of the day. Wash them up, put them in a clean outfit, comb their hair...maybe picking them up cleaned up will lessen the annoyance they have at the original dirty outfit.

Scour garage sales and thrift stores for cheap shorts and t-shirts in a few different sizes. Change them into these when they arrive and back into their own clothes before pick-up.

Keep doing what you are doing and being cooped up and miserable. (

If you need to, tell parents that they must text you when they are on their way at the end of the day.

Good luck!
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NightOwl 07:30 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by snbauser:
If they make a fuss at pick up I would simply say "that's what happens when we play outside. Good thing kids are washable" or something along those lines. If it happens enough, they will either get over it or start sending them in appropriate clothes. It's not fair to you or to the kids to not be able to play outside.

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NightOwl 07:33 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Leanna:
Who sends a little kid to daycare in white shorts lol? All my families know from day one that we play outside daily and to send them in play clothes. Sounds like you've had that talk! I would send a final note reminder that we play outside and they need play clothes. If they still send them in "nice" you have a few choices:

Play outside anyway and take your chance they will terminate.

Change them into their spare outfits at the end of the day. Wash them up, put them in a clean outfit, comb their hair...maybe picking them up cleaned up will lessen the annoyance they have at the original dirty outfit.

Scour garage sales and thrift stores for cheap shorts and t-shirts in a few different sizes. Change them into these when they arrive and back into their own clothes before pick-up.

Keep doing what you are doing and being cooped up and miserable. (

If you need to, tell parents that they must text you when they are on their way at the end of the day.

Good luck!
I tell parents to text me when they're on their way if we're outside at the water tables! I say "if you'd like a dry, clean child at pick up, please text when you're about 20 minutes away!"
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debbiedoeszip 07:41 AM 06-17-2014
I would stand firm on this too (that they go outside to play and will get dirty). I've never heard of a daycare (home or center) that doesn't have the kids play outside for at least a couple of hours per day. If she/they wants her kids to be inside all day then maybe she/they should hire a nanny, or get grandma to watch them.
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permanentvacation 08:14 AM 06-17-2014
I used to love summers at my daycare. I used to have the parents bring them in the morning wearing their bathing suits and we would play in the water for a good hour or so when they first arrived until 8:30 then we would get dried and dressed then eat at 9 am. Then we would go back outside (in the dry area of the yard) and play until lunch. After lunch, we'd have nap then snack and go back outside until they were picked up to go home. Unless it was extremely hot. Then of course, we would be inside longer after nap, but typically would be back outside by 4:30 or so.

I've allowed this group of parents to make me change the way I do daycare and I don't even like my own company now.

Yeah, I'm going to tell my parents that we WILL go outside, they WILL get dirty, and therefore they NEED to be dressed appropriately for CHILDREN to go to DAYCARE and have FUN all day.
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NightOwl 08:34 AM 06-17-2014
Hell, even I get dirty! So I know better than to wear nice/expensive clothes while working. And NEVER anything white. Lol.
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TwinKristi 08:55 AM 06-17-2014
Sorry but what kind of idiot buys WHITE shorts for a young child?? I had a mom bring her son in a white button up shirt and wouldn't you know... Pasta with red sauce is on the menu! I put a bib on him and wipe him up but I don't stain treat and I don't change clothes unless I really need to. We play outside a lot and if someone said something to me about not going outside to keep their clothes clean I would make a POINT to get extra dirty that day! These are CHILDREN!! Not dolls that we dress up and sit on a shelf to look pretty. They need comfortable play clothes.
I saw a mom from baseball wearing white like 3 different days last week and finally said "you're always wearing white! If I wore white it would be black by the end of the day!" I honestly don't own a stitch of white clothing!
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permanentvacation 09:08 AM 06-17-2014
Oh, for lunch, I often spoon feed the children when we have messy food! Yep, just so they don't get any food on their shirts/shorts, I spoon feed 4 and 5 year old at times! Not every day, just when the meal is a bit messier and I'm afraid they might get food on themselves. I also have taken things such as spaghetti sauce off the menu. Instead of spaghetti noodles with spaghetti sauce, I serve plain spaghetti noodles with seasoning. But no spaghetti sauce! I never had parents like this before who yell at their children for getting dirty! (Other than that one kid my sister had).
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Unregistered 09:40 AM 06-17-2014
Sounds like a perfect day to bring out the sprinkler and mud kitchen!
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cheerfuldom 10:00 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Oh, for lunch, I often spoon feed the children when we have messy food! Yep, just so they don't get any food on their shirts/shorts, I spoon feed 4 and 5 year old at times! Not every day, just when the meal is a bit messier and I'm afraid they might get food on themselves. I also have taken things such as spaghetti sauce off the menu. Instead of spaghetti noodles with spaghetti sauce, I serve plain spaghetti noodles with seasoning. But no spaghetti sauce! I never had parents like this before who yell at their children for getting dirty! (Other than that one kid my sister had).
get a dozen mens tshirts, thrift store or whatever and put over the big kids before meals. this will be easier than spoon feeding big kids. and might be worth it just to not have to deal with the parents.
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craftymissbeth 10:01 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Oh, for lunch, I often spoon feed the children when we have messy food! Yep, just so they don't get any food on their shirts/shorts, I spoon feed 4 and 5 year old at times! Not every day, just when the meal is a bit messier and I'm afraid they might get food on themselves. I also have taken things such as spaghetti sauce off the menu. Instead of spaghetti noodles with spaghetti sauce, I serve plain spaghetti noodles with seasoning. But no spaghetti sauce! I never had parents like this before who yell at their children for getting dirty! (Other than that one kid my sister had).


I'd be stripping them to the waist before I ever spoon fed a capable child

Yeah you're going to be so much happier when you are able to do what you love... and it sounds like you love getting outside and letting them do their thing. I'm sure those poor kids will be happier, too!
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craftymissbeth 10:02 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
get a dozen mens tshirts, thrift store or whatever and put over the big kids before meals. this will be easier than spoon feeding big kids. and might be worth it just to not have to deal with the parents.
Oh I'm stealing this
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Heidi 10:04 AM 06-17-2014
Print this picture and hang it by your parent board. These people need to get a clue and you need to give it to them. Stop letting them bully you or those kids. Tell them. These children are going to get dirty. I don't want to hear another complaint, period. It's what they need to grow up happy and healthy.

If someone has a doctor's appointment, etc, they tell me, and I make sure their child is presentable when they leave here.
Attached: 10155318_708238929219869_25391423_n.jpg (48.2 KB) 
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snbauser 10:06 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Oh, for lunch, I often spoon feed the children when we have messy food! Yep, just so they don't get any food on their shirts/shorts, I spoon feed 4 and 5 year old at times! Not every day, just when the meal is a bit messier and I'm afraid they might get food on themselves. I also have taken things such as spaghetti sauce off the menu. Instead of spaghetti noodles with spaghetti sauce, I serve plain spaghetti noodles with seasoning. But no spaghetti sauce! I never had parents like this before who yell at their children for getting dirty! (Other than that one kid my sister had).
How are they going to learn to do it without spilling if they aren't given the opportunity to try??? It's like putting a 2 year old on the floor for the first time and expecting them to walk. Kids need hands on practice to learn things. Use bigs, use the t-shirt idea below, heck, use paint smocks. But please, stop feeding them.
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permanentvacation 10:08 AM 06-17-2014
I only have 4 kids now and 2 of them are leaving this coming school year. So I am afraid to do anything that might make the parents mad and them leave before they need to. But yeah, I think I will simply announce that we will be going outside and most like be dirty and the parents will have to just DEAL with it!
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MarinaVanessa 10:08 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
get a dozen mens tshirts, thrift store or whatever and put over the big kids before meals. this will be easier than spoon feeding big kids. and might be worth it just to not have to deal with the parents.
Me too!! I'm stealing this. Guess who's going garage sale shopping this weekend. This girl!

I have smocks but not enough to be using them everyday for meals. Live the big shirt idea. I'll just get a bunch of them and wash them when I do a daycare load.
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permanentvacation 10:11 AM 06-17-2014
I let them feed themselves IF it's not too messy. I do NOT feed them every day. Just if the food is very messy and I'm afraid for the kids that their parents will yell at them for getting their clothes stained from food. I do my best not to serve messy food so they can feed typically feed themselves.
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Meyou 10:12 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
get a dozen mens tshirts, thrift store or whatever and put over the big kids before meals. this will be easier than spoon feeding big kids. and might be worth it just to not have to deal with the parents.
I've been doing this with years after messing around with bibs. They're amazing craft coverups too!
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mia 10:14 AM 06-17-2014
I had a little one come in white pants yesterday, the dad did not want the child to be sent in white because she would get them dirty, moms like she's wearing them because she is out growing them who cares if she gets them dirty, guess gramma should not have bought them for her then.... I'm like ok then, I tried but failed to keep them clean. She ended up with grass stains on both knees and mud on the one.

All kids need to be out side to have fun, that's what kids do....

I tell all my clients that they need to be in clothing that is able to get dirty for we go outside a lot, they WILL get dirty....

If clients don't agree then I'm not the right fit for them and they need to find a provider who is more then willing to sit inside all day and bubble wrap the children so they don't get dirty.....
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SSWonders 10:18 AM 06-17-2014
I know this could be a real pain in the neck, but if getting the parents on board is absolutely not going to happen, then keep a change of clothes at your house that are yours. Change their clothes to go outside then change them back later. I do that with one little one I have, not because her parents care about how dirty she gets, but because I care about where the sand goes, if you kwim.
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permanentvacation 10:35 AM 06-17-2014
I am paid chump change here. I do not make enough money to wash a load of clothes every day.
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TwinKristi 12:03 PM 06-17-2014
Sorry but that's ridiculous! I understand needing income as a single parent and I understand not wanting to lose clients but when you let them walk all over you it almost makes it worse, not better. I think you're more likely to lose them because they know you're weak and can push you around. I have really found that the opposite approach of being firm and demanding respect has caused me to gain more respect and be in higher demand. Spoon feeding 4-5yr olds? That's really only furthering the problem we have with entitled parents and children. I would send home a newsletter or announcement that with summer here we will be spending lots of time OUTSIDE and they need to wear weather appropriate PLAY clothes. They may get dirty, but that means they're having FUN!
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SilverSabre25 01:04 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
I tell parents to text me when they're on their way if we're outside at the water tables! I say "if you'd like a dry, clean child at pick up, please text when you're about 20 minutes away!"
Oh, I LIKE this! I like it a lot! I may start doing that!
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NightOwl 01:06 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Oh, I LIKE this! I like it a lot! I may start doing that!
They all seem to really appreciate it too! A couple of times, someone has forgotten to text me and when they arrive, they totally blame themselves. It was their job to text me anyway, right?
And it allows the others more time to play. Instead of everyone having to come in at 4 to get ready to go home, when some may not leave until 5.
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permanentvacation 01:21 PM 06-17-2014
My most particular mother just picked her child up. I said, "You don't mind if he gets these clothes dirty do you?" She asked why would they get dirty. I told her because we need to get outside and play more. I've been trying to keep him clean, but we really do need to get outside and play more than we have been and I'm sure he will get dirty. She asked dirty from what. I said the grass, dirt, and maybe a little mud if the ground is a bit wet. She shook her head and in a snippy tone said, "Do you know how much these clothes cost? I pay a lot of money for his clothes. They better not get dirty!" I told her that she needs to get him some play clothes that he can get dirty in. She shook her head and said, "No, this is what I dress him in" As she walked away, I kept saying, "well, he's gonna get dirty, he needs to play outside more" She looked around at my yard and shook her head all the way to her car!
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SignMeUp 01:28 PM 06-17-2014
So sad Even the parents of my infant don't care if he goes home with sand in between his toes. (He loves digging his feet into the sand I try to brush off those tootsies before his parents come, but don't always get to it.)
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permanentvacation 01:43 PM 06-17-2014
I plan to take the kids outside a lot tomorrow. We'll see how long her child stays in my daycare. I can't afford to lose him, but the kids are bored being in the house as much as they are, their boredom is leading to bad behavior, which leads me to want to stop watching them anyway. They need to play outside more and the parents need to let their kids play outside, get sweaty and dirty!

This particular mother dresses her 4 year old son every day as if he's going to a private college prep high school. My other 4 year old boy is dressed just a little below the first one. He does wear regular kid t-shirts on occasion though. I just don't understand these parents!
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CraftyMom 01:57 PM 06-17-2014
I agree with letting them get the clothes they are wearing dirty. When mom complains, have a print out of your policy ready to hand to her where it says you will go outside and dress them in play clothes.

I would not be changing kids who wore the wrong clothes, parent's fault.

I had a dad the other day say "good thing I didn't put his new shoes on him today" when his son's shoes were dirty. I answered back "why would you?" He looked at me funny but got the point.
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kitykids3 07:26 PM 06-17-2014
Um no way. Kids play and get dirty. That's part of life. I would not keep my kids in because parents can't realize that. They can get over it or find another daycare, but good luck finding a daycare that doesn't take kids out and let them play. I would go crazy being stuck inside, especially if it's nice out. Like pp mentioned, send out a notice that effective immediately that the kids are going out to play and to dress appropriately. Then it's up to the parents on how they will respond. Are you regulated? If so, use regulation rules that outside play is required daily.
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permanentvacation 08:04 PM 06-17-2014
Yes, I am licensed. We have gone outside as little as required by licensing but I have been keeping them spotless for this group of parents by keeping them on the porch and sidewalk. But that's no way for a child to 'play outside'. I have NEVER kept my kids spotless before and as a broke single mother, am trying not to lose kids, but it's just wrong to make the kids not be allowed to run around like they want to and to only go outside for a bare minimum time frame just so their parents can see them in their high dollar clothes.

Which, by the way, how is it these parents can only afford to pay me $80/wk yet can afford a $30 dollar shirt for a 4 year old? I don't even pay $30 for my own shirts! - Probably because I don't get paid enough to afford one! ANYWAY, back to the kids outside thing...

So, yes, since I am licensed, I do have rules that I have to follow as to what temperatures I should take the kids out in. Basically, as long as it 'feels like' it's under 90 degrees, it's safe to be outside. If it 'feels like' (with the temperature and heat index and whatever else they calculate to get the 'feels like' temp.) 90 to 100 degrees, we should be cautious about being outside, and if it 'feels like' it's 100 or more, it's dangerous to be outside.

I like to stay in the safe zone of feeling like under 90 degrees. So, after my big debate with my one parent today, I just checked the weather for tomorrow. I can only take the kids out until 9/9:30 am anyway! After 9 it will be too hot and then by 4 we are supposed to have thunderstorms!

Actually, that would be perfect timing for the nap schedule that this group seems to do best with. This whole group is doing the oddest things all around. They all seem to be hateful and tired in the morning. By 10 am, they all NEED a nap - even and especially the 4 year olds! So by us going out from the time they arrive until 9:30, it would be perfect timing to come in, have morning snack, and take their nap. Yep, this sounds good to me!

So, I could be outside when he arrives (like I used to be for my group before this group) and I can have him outside for 2 hours.

I am also making a more big deal about this particular child getting outside in part because over the past month or so, he has gotten worse and worse with his behavior here. He, like many in this area, has home life issues. I have no clue where the father is. He almost never sees him. His mother said that the slim occasion that he does see his dad, they typically play Grand Theft Auto!!! You know, the video game that has gangs that go around stealing cars! Yeah, that's what this 4 year old kid plays when he sees his dad! It sounds like his mom pretty much just tells him to go play inside in a room by himself while she goes to another room. She has told me that herself! So the kid is starving for attention!

I think he might not be so mean inside if he could run around and get his aggression out outside by running, kicking a ball, etc.

His mother is hoping to get him into a preschool program this coming school year. I don't know why. I teach them MUCH more than the preschools do around here. I know because I have worked in 3 of them! But I am not even trying to convince the mother to stay with me. She and I just don't blend well at all!
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snbauser 08:25 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Yes, I am licensed. We have gone outside as little as required by licensing but I have been keeping them spotless for this group of parents by keeping them on the porch and sidewalk. But that's no way for a child to 'play outside'. I have NEVER kept my kids spotless before and as a broke single mother, am trying not to lose kids, but it's just wrong to make the kids not be allowed to run around like they want to and to only go outside for a bare minimum time frame just so their parents can see them in their high dollar clothes.
I don't know the rules where you are but here, keeping them on the porch or sidewalk would not be considered outside time. Outside time is supposed to be the time for them to work on large motor skills - running, climbing, bikes, etc. When we go for walks, it is not supposed to count as part of their outside time.
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permanentvacation 08:46 PM 06-17-2014
Here, outside time simply means out of the house. I got my first license in a 3rd floor apartment. My licensed outside area was the patio! I did have to put up fencing on the patio rails so no one could slip through the rails.

Like I said, I don't believe it is appropriate to have them in a smaller space and not have the room to run and all. That's why I am taking the chance of losing my kids by demanding that the parents realize that their children WILL run around outside and WILL most likely get dirty. But yeah, as long as you are out of the house, it's considered outside time here.

My kids do ride little bikes up and down the sidewalk, but it has to be one at a time because there's no room for a group of them to turn around! They have toys on the porch. It's the PARENTS demanding that their children not get dirty that is making me try to figure out how to let the kids do SOMETHING outside but make sure they don't get a speck of dirt on them.

I finally had enough of it and told my worst parent that their child needs to wear play clothes and will likely get a bit dirty and the woman had a cow! I explained the entire thing in another post above this one.
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Aussiedaycare 10:38 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
I have parents like that! I ask that all kids wear play-friendly clothing, but this one mom always dresses her daughter in fancy dresses, white tights, and shiny black shoes. So after breakfast she strips and puts on her play clothes and shoes, and we get crazy messy all day! Then at 5 she strips again, I wipe her down, and her fancy dress goes back on.

Yes, it's a PITA, but it keeps mom happy and the girl gets to be a kid all day. It's worth it to me.

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Meyou 01:59 AM 06-18-2014
Oh dude. I would be tempted to let her child make mud pies and then hand her a filled out term notice when she arrives and starts to rant like a crazy person. Who doesn't want their kids to play??? I don't know if I'm more angry for you or sad for him.

I know you can't term but I wouldn't certainly considering threatening it!! If Mom is single and paying for cheap care (no offense to your pricing) she probably can complain alot but not actually do much about finding other care.
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SquirrellyMama 04:25 AM 06-18-2014
I would be tempted to ask these parents what their childhood was like. I wonder how many of them had parents that didn't want them to get dirty, and made them stay inside to play.

Kelly
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Sugar Magnolia 07:46 AM 06-18-2014
Could you describe your outdoor play area? You mentioned sitting on the porch and the sidewalk, but what other outside play areas do you offer? Is it fenced? Also recall you live in a condo, apartment? How far away from parking or roads is your outside play area?
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deliberateliterate 08:37 AM 06-18-2014
Dear uptight parents,

Effective immediately, your daily rate will be increasing by $1. This is to cover the purchase of used play clothes for your child, as well as the the cost of, and time involved for me to launder said clothes daily. Feel free to send your future leaders of America in whatever is gracing the front pages of this months GQ Jr. I'll be sure to ohh and ahh at their outfits as I'm stripping it off of them while you're pulling out of my driveway.

Truly, your 'let kids be kids' provider
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permanentvacation 08:41 AM 06-18-2014
I live in a townhouse. I use the front yard for daycare. It is fenced in, is all grass with a skinny, but fully grown tree in it. I'm not sure what the tree is, but the branches droop down like a weeping willow. So the trunk doesn't take up too much room it's probably about as wide as 1 and 1/2 hands. But it does offer a good shaded area. In summer mornings, my yard is completely shaded until maybe 9. Then the sun starts getting high enough to take over the yard. But my porch stays shaded until later in the day.

As far as toys/outdoor activities, I have a smaller slide and a taller slide, a picnic table, a good variety of balls of various sizes, soccer balls, basket balls, foot balls, plastic balls, a basket ball hoop, a few little kids' bikes, little play lawn mowers, a bubble blower table, and a little kids play grill with play food. That's enough ( and a good enough variety of toys) for the kids to have fun playing outside.

I used to have a much nicer set up with much nicer toys, climbing structures, swing set, etc. But when I separated with my ex and moved, I sold all of my stuff (because I thought I was going to quit doing daycare and have to go out to work) and moved out of state, then later back in state, and have had to start all over with buying supplies for my daycare.

So, I would put the toy grill, toy food, picnic table, basketball hoop, and slide on the porch (different toys at different times since they would not all fit on the porch at the same time) and let the kids ride the little bikes up and down the sidewalk (one at a time so no one fell in the grass/dirt, or ran into each other, made each other fall off the bike and skin their knees! That way, they got to play outside, but stayed clean. It was crazy for me to keep moving the toys on and off the porch, and only allow one kid to ride a bike at a time, but that was the only way I could figure out to keep everyone as happy as I could make them.

But I finally had enough and told the parents that the kids will play in the grass and will get dirty.
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debbiedoeszip 08:44 AM 06-18-2014
I'm not willing to clean children up for either a doctor's appt. or the end of the day. I have too much on my plate to be doing that. I tell parents that they are welcome to arrive early (in the case of a doctor's appt.) with a clean outfit and I'll make the bathroom and a washcloth available to them if they want to do a quick wipe down before leaving. Same deal when they want to leave with a clean child at the end of the day. Even if they arrive as I'm closing. While DH and I are doing our daily cleaning of the daycare, they are welcome to use the bathroom (I'll give them a washcloth) to clean their child up and change their clothes.
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deliberateliterate 08:46 AM 06-18-2014
How did the kids come dressed this morning?
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permanentvacation 09:40 AM 06-18-2014
So, here's how today went...

BEAUTIFULLY!!!

I was already sitting outside when the first child arrived (like I used to be on nice days) and had all the toys arranged in the yard - you know, like a NORMAL daycare yard would be. As each child arrived, I greeted the parent and child and simply pointed to the yard and said, "Ok, go play" I would again tell the parents that we would be outside for a while and that the kids need to be able to run around and might get dirty, but it's okay, that's what they need to do. The other parents besides the college prep one said that they agree. While the older kids' parents were still present, they slowly stepped on the grass and looked back at their moms a time or two as they continued to walk farther onto the yard. It was the weirdest thing to watch!! Kind of like watching a baby touch grass for the first time in his life! Just weird! After the parents left, the children were more comfortable and started playing like typical kids would. The younger children, my 17 month old and 2 year old, simply went in the yard and started playing just fine.

The boy that dresses like a college prep kid wore - for the FIRST time ever, a t-shirt!!! I was shocked as he got out of the car! His shorts were a little dresser than the typical boys play shorts, but they were less dressy than the college prep shorts. After playing outside, I didn't see any dirt or grass stains on him.

We stayed outside from 7:30 until 10:30. Around 9, it did get to the caution level about being outside, but none of my kids have asthma or health issues, so we stayed outside. The kids had a blast, didn't fight at all, didn't tattle, anything! It was AWESOME! I felt like a REAL DAYCARE LADY with NORMAL KIDS!

I had already made their lunch last night in hopes of being able to stay outside as long as possible this morning. So, we came in, cleaned up, played inside for a little bit, ate lunch, and are now, at 12 noon, taking nap. The baby has cried the least that she's ever cried for having to take a nap. In 2 minutes, the 17 month old and 2 year old were both asleep!!!

I have been doing my job as a licensed home daycare provider for the most of 25 years. I KNOW my job and operated a very professional daycare with a very good educational program and overall good program that I was very proud of. Other providers used to call me all the time for advise and suggestions and for names and numbers of who to call when they needed to gain other information. When someone wanted to start a new daycare, many other providers would tell them to call me because they knew that I would walk them through step by step, help them get started, and give good advise. I have numerous written references from previous parents.

Over the past couple of years, since I moved to this lower income area, and because I am a broke single mother afraid of anyone not hiring me or leaving my daycare which would cause me to lose income, I have allowed the parents to tweak my daycare in various ways to the point that I lost pride in my daycare, lost interest in my job, and felt more like a babysitter that a proud professional licensed daycare provider.

I finally realized that and put my foot down about playing outside yesterday. I am taking my daycare back over! I am, again, going to tell my parents how I run MY DAYCARE and they can either hire me or not. I will also be more particular about who I allow to enroll in my daycare. If I don't think they will be a good fit, I will tell them so and not take the child.
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TwinKristi 09:48 AM 06-18-2014
So happy to hear that PV!!!
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NightOwl 09:48 AM 06-18-2014
HELL YEAH! You go, PV!!!
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snbauser 09:54 AM 06-18-2014
WTG!!! I think sometimes we get so fearful of parents not wanting their kids here that we forget we are succesful because of how we run our programs. There is no way you would be doing this after 25 years if you weren't professional and ran a great program. Remember that. Run it as the proud, professional program you want and the clients that respect that and want that type of program will seek you out and refer others to you regardless of where you live.
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Sugar Magnolia 09:57 AM 06-18-2014
Well your outside space sounds completely acceptable.....Shade, a grassy area, toys, activities and fenced in. Check. You are fine. Yes.....put your foot down and insist on outside time daily. I was wondering if you didn't have adequate shade or soft surfaces or maybe unfenced or near a parking area, parents might be using the dirty clothes as an excuse. But that is clearly not the case, it sounds safe and appropriate to me!

I'm in South Florida, hotter than Hades, and we go outside daily. It's just not fair to kids to be inside because of clothes and a little dirt. Ridiculous.

Keep us updated!
ETA: just read the update! Yay! ! Way to go!
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permanentvacation 10:05 AM 06-18-2014
Thank you all for the support and help that I needed to stand up for the kids' needs and gain the desire to have the pride and respect in myself and my daycare again.
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CraftyMom 10:14 AM 06-18-2014
Way to go! The best thing is the kids will be happier for it!
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permanentvacation 01:47 PM 06-18-2014
How today ended...

The weather held out so we could be outside during pick up time, which I made sure to be!

As each parent arrived, I told them how great today was, how much fun their child had outside, and the fact that nap time went beautifully as well since they had been outside playing this morning.

All of the parents were glad their child had fun and seemed alright with their child being a little sweaty and hands being a little dirty/gritty from being outside. Of course EXCEPT the mom that dressed her child like he was going to a private college prep high school - she didn't say one word to me. Not 'hi', not 'bye' NOTHING, not one word did she say to me!

So, as she was leaving, I made sure to say, "yeah, today was lovely, just make sure to dress him every day in clothes that he can play outside in." She just kept walking! lol! Oh well, can't please everyone!
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permanentvacation 01:49 PM 06-18-2014
CraftyMom,

Thank you. Yes, the kids were much happier and I felt like I did before I let these parents take over the way I run my daycare. I truly enjoyed my job today!
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SilverSabre25 02:48 PM 06-18-2014
Go you, PV! That will be so wonderful for those kids!
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Little Buttons 03:50 PM 06-18-2014
I am so glad you had an awesome day!!! Outside time is so good for everyone!!!
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snbauser 07:08 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
How today ended...

The weather held out so we could be outside during pick up time, which I made sure to be!

As each parent arrived, I told them how great today was, how much fun their child had outside, and the fact that nap time went beautifully as well since they had been outside playing this morning.

All of the parents were glad their child had fun and seemed alright with their child being a little sweaty and hands being a little dirty/gritty from being outside. Of course EXCEPT the mom that dressed her child like he was going to a private college prep high school - she didn't say one word to me. Not 'hi', not 'bye' NOTHING, not one word did she say to me!

So, as she was leaving, I made sure to say, "yeah, today was lovely, just make sure to dress him every day in clothes that he can play outside in." She just kept walking! lol! Oh well, can't please everyone!

So glad to hear the day went so well. You can really tell the difference just in the tone of your posts. As far as the one mom, she will need to decide what her priorities are 1 - keep her child someplace where she is getting a steal in the cost and he is well taken care of or 2 -remove him and find someplace else that will treat her child like a porcelin doll.
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NightOwl 08:47 PM 06-19-2014
How is this going PV? Snooty mom still hanging in there? Lol.
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Hollydawn 04:26 AM 06-20-2014
Great update! I truly cannot fathom behaving like some of these parents. When my dd was in daycare, I always was so happy to pick her up sweaty, rosy cheeked, and dirty! I always figured, more dirt = more fun.
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Mom of 4 04:07 PM 06-20-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
My most particular mother just picked her child up. I said, "You don't mind if he gets these clothes dirty do you?" She asked why would they get dirty. I told her because we need to get outside and play more. I've been trying to keep him clean, but we really do need to get outside and play more than we have been and I'm sure he will get dirty. She asked dirty from what. I said the grass, dirt, and maybe a little mud if the ground is a bit wet. She shook her head and in a snippy tone said, "Do you know how much these clothes cost? I pay a lot of money for his clothes. They better not get dirty!" I told her that she needs to get him some play clothes that he can get dirty in. She shook her head and said, "No, this is what I dress him in" As she walked away, I kept saying, "well, he's gonna get dirty, he needs to play outside more" She looked around at my yard and shook her head all the way to her car!
She sounds VERY snooty and all about looks. I have a a 'friend' who acts like that. She makes FUN of other moms who dress their kids NORMALLY and in stuff they can get dirty in. She almost got into a fight with another mom at the kids' preschool! The other mom told her to mind her *fill in blanks here* business and that she would raise her child how she pleased, and that til SHE (the snooty mom) pays for HER child,s he will buy the clothes she can afford and that makes sense for the child since he grows/plays/etc. The 'friend' stated that she was going to kick her behind. The other mom said to go ahead, and called her judgmental and said she acts better than everyone because her kids are in Nike and always dressed in their bling and in super expensive things! Even the kids' hairties are EXPENSIVE! And they don't look any better than the $1 I get from $$ store! lol They were seriously about to rumble! I hate parents like that. Let your kid be a kid. They are not a mini adult and WILL get dirty. Time to play hardball with mom and don't back down! Let the kids play and be kids and too bad so sad that the mom isn't smart enough to know that spending exhorbitant amounts of money for KIDS clothes when they send the kids to group care is RIDICULOUS>

BTW: The "friend" Did not touch the other mom. I think she knew the other mom would throw down, even though she thinks she's better than everyone.
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permanentvacation 07:11 PM 06-20-2014
Mom of 4,

WOW!! What a fiasco! That mom is unbelievably immature!



Wednesday,

Everything is going perfectly well. The snooty mom's child either actually owned regular kids clothes or she went and bought him some. He has come to daycare every day since my speech to her wearing the proper play clothes. She didn't say a word to me the first day, but since then, she has spoken to me like she typically does. She has never been over friendly or actually had any conversation with me, but just says "Hi" in the morning and "Have a good night/weekend" when she picks him up. So everything is going well. The kids are much happier, I'm much happier, and my picky mom is dealing with it.
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Meeko 07:42 PM 06-20-2014
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
Dear uptight parents,

Effective immediately, your daily rate will be increasing by $1. This is to cover the purchase of used play clothes for your child, as well as the the cost of, and time involved for me to launder said clothes daily. Feel free to send your future leaders of America in whatever is gracing the front pages of this months GQ Jr. I'll be sure to ohh and ahh at their outfits as I'm stripping it off of them while you're pulling out of my driveway.

Truly, your 'let kids be kids' provider

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jokalima 08:25 PM 06-20-2014
The youngest dc child is one. I don't feed him, I provide him with a spoon and he tries to use it and feeds himself with hands, and then tries again to use it. I told mom this is how I like to do it so he can learn and she is OK with it. My dc kids they get filthy LOL, grass stains, Mudd stains, wet clothes from playing at water table outside, then from water table they go to sand box so the sand sticks to them. They use markers and paint themselves by not being careful. I always tell parents during interviews that I need a change of clothes and to send them in clothes that they don't mind kids getting dirty, I tell them that they will get their clothes dirty. Sometimes I even suggest to them to buy clothes at Once Upon A Child (gently used clothes) and use that for DC. So far so good for me.

The only thing that has happened recently is a parent complaining because they don't want their daughter to get dark. Now that the hot weather Is here we go out a lot and the child is getting darker and they don't like it.
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Hunni Bee 10:54 AM 06-21-2014
These kinds of parents always amuse me. I dont like my daughters clothes to get messed up/stained and I dress her in dresses, ruffle socks, fancy bows, white, etc sometimes for daycare because it makes me happy.

However, God has blessed me with a washer, dryer, bathtub, soap and elbow grease. It is MY job to keep her clothes clean, not her teacher's. I ask that they use a bib for her meals, but that's it.

I can't imagine what these parents think about.
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Jenny Lloyd-Strovas 11:01 AM 03-31-2018
my reply, 7 years later... hahaha.
I think what you're doing - taking kids outside for as long as possible - is SO important. They obviously aren't getting that type of experience at home so it's vital that they get it while in your care. Hopefully the parents were open to bringing their kids in old clothes so they can play. If you're still having problems with this, point the parents to my website or facebook group. I'm a biologist and my research focuses on the human/nature connection. Research shows that dirty, outdoor kids are happier, healthier, and smarter! Keep doing what you are doing. You're awesome!
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LittleScholars 09:07 AM 04-02-2018
Originally Posted by Tdhmom:
I would tell the dcp's not to dress them in anything they don't want ruined. We spend our whole day outside and all the kids (especially my own) are dirt balls by the end of the day. They're kids! That's what they do. That's how they learn. I wouldn't care how much fussing they did, I would be out there enjoying the weather and if they said anything at pick up I would politely suggest putting them in play clothes
Same, same, same. I had to train some parents around this expectation in the beginning, but this is how I operate. My own child wears play clothes and is a mess at the end of the day, but he had the best time. I'm very particular about hygiene, but we will absolutely get dirty and I never apologize.
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Blackcat31 09:33 AM 04-02-2018
Originally Posted by LittleScholars:
Same, same, same. I had to train some parents around this expectation in the beginning, but this is how I operate. My own child wears play clothes and is a mess at the end of the day, but he had the best time. I'm very particular about hygiene, but we will absolutely get dirty and I never apologize.
Old thread.....

The person you quoted posted several years ago.

Old posts usually have relevant topics but just wanted you to know just in case you didn't notice the thread date.
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Silly Songs 09:48 AM 04-02-2018
When I saw this thread I initially thought PV was back to providing childcare. I wonder how she’s doing these days.
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ColorfulSunburst 10:36 AM 04-02-2018
Originally Posted by LittleScholars:
Same, same, same. I had to train some parents around this expectation in the beginning, but this is how I operate. My own child wears play clothes and is a mess at the end of the day, but he had the best time. I'm very particular about hygiene, but we will absolutely get dirty and I never apologize.
I get clean kids in a morning and I return clean kids in an evening. In my opinion, have the best time and get messy isn't synonyms.
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Tags:2014, outside play, parents - don't cooperate
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