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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Kids Don't Know How To Explore Anymore
MarinaVanessa 03:41 PM 08-02-2011
Okay so let me just start by saying that most of my group of kids are new because they've either aged-out this summer or because I wasn't willing to bend the rules anymore and have phased some families out.
This is who I have now: DD (6yo), DS (8mo), DCG (4yo; new), DCG (3yo; original), DCB (2yo; new), DCB (22mo; new-sh, been here 3 months). DCG 4yo and DCB 22mo started this week (not siblings). I also temporarily have my DH's nephews DCB 10yo and DCB 2yo for the next two weeks.
That being said only 2 of my 6 DC kids in care today (including my DH nephews) are new or fairly new and although we've had water play we havn't played with the water table. My DD and my oldest nephew went next door to play and so I was left with the other 5 kids and my DS. The two DCK's that I've had here the longest kept napping but the other 3 new kids woke up early so I took them outside and told them to play with the water table.
I watched them as they all just looked at each other, at the water, at the water-table toys, back at each other and so on. I asked them what's wrong and they all looked at me confused and then I was confused until I realized that had absolutely no idea what to do with the water table and toys
. Is this for real?
When I realized that they had no idea what to do DCG 3yo woke up and walked out to the water table (she had played with it before many times) and started to play. Once the other kids saw her play with things then they started to copy her and finally started to have fun, if a little hesitantly at first. It made me feel so sad for them . I have also noticed that if they come across with a new toy that they've never played with before they just won't play with it, including instruments. You have to show them how to play with something or they have no interest in it, they don't explore things on their own. This makes me very sad. When did our kids lose their curiosity and ability to explore?
This is who I have now: DD (6yo), DS (8mo), DCG (4yo; new), DCG (3yo; original), DCB (2yo; new), DCB (22mo; new-sh, been here 3 months). DCG 4yo and DCB 22mo started this week (not siblings). I also temporarily have my DH's nephews DCB 10yo and DCB 2yo for the next two weeks.
That being said only 2 of my 6 DC kids in care today (including my DH nephews) are new or fairly new and although we've had water play we havn't played with the water table. My DD and my oldest nephew went next door to play and so I was left with the other 5 kids and my DS. The two DCK's that I've had here the longest kept napping but the other 3 new kids woke up early so I took them outside and told them to play with the water table.
I watched them as they all just looked at each other, at the water, at the water-table toys, back at each other and so on. I asked them what's wrong and they all looked at me confused and then I was confused until I realized that had absolutely no idea what to do with the water table and toys
. Is this for real? When I realized that they had no idea what to do DCG 3yo woke up and walked out to the water table (she had played with it before many times) and started to play. Once the other kids saw her play with things then they started to copy her and finally started to have fun, if a little hesitantly at first. It made me feel so sad for them . I have also noticed that if they come across with a new toy that they've never played with before they just won't play with it, including instruments. You have to show them how to play with something or they have no interest in it, they don't explore things on their own. This makes me very sad. When did our kids lose their curiosity and ability to explore?
sharlan 03:47 PM 08-02-2011
When parents starting hovering over them every second. Kids are being programmed that everyone else will think for them.
It is really sad that kids aren't learning how to play on their own.
It is really sad that kids aren't learning how to play on their own.
MG&Lsmom 05:19 PM 08-02-2011
I see this too. Or the child that has no social skills, but can read or talk way above age appropriate skills. Not an autistic or asperger's syndrome, just shear lack of exposure to social situations. I can talk to mommy, but not other kids. My nephew is like this. Can't be in the same room with another child. Infuriates me that my brother keeps him so isolated, hovers, etc.
MommyMuffin 06:48 PM 08-02-2011
I have a dcb just like that and it drives me coo coo. The other kids will be playing independently and having so much fun. He will just stare at me or just follow one of the dcks around and try to copy what they are doing. He can't initiate any play by himself.
I've taken nans advice and I just tell him "go play." When I say this he whines and cries.
Is it the parents? Is it just the kids personalities? In all seriousness...what is wrong with these kids?
I've taken nans advice and I just tell him "go play." When I say this he whines and cries.
Is it the parents? Is it just the kids personalities? In all seriousness...what is wrong with these kids?
erinalexmom 07:18 PM 08-02-2011
I am sooo glad this is not just me! This is the thing that drives me the craziest! AND they follow me! Whats up with that? I just want to go get a cup of water without having my own personal entourage! I know Im cool and all but really?
countrymom 05:29 AM 08-03-2011
I also think another problem is that children are plopped infront of the tv all day, and they are to be seen but not heard. I've had a couple of kids who just don't know how to play by themselves and its annoying. I don't think children should be playing with adults. Also kids don't know how to use their imagination, this drives me crazy.
cheerfuldom 05:58 AM 08-03-2011
Its not just you at all. I have the same issue or they want to play with things that are not toys and have no interest in kid items.
erinalexmom 06:10 AM 08-03-2011
Even though I already commented I also wanted to add that I think alot of this is that we live in a "child focused" world. Parents revolve thier world around these kids and the kids are on the same level as adults. They make decisions about where the family will go out for supper, the kids know the families financial situations, they are talked to and played with as if they are a "friend" to the parent. When I was a kid this was not the case.
My mom wouldnt care a bit if you told her that you werent her friend anymore, she would say "thats ok Im not supposed to be your friend Im your mom"
When I was a kid I stayed with my grandma while my mom was at work...we went outside in the morning, got a bologna sandwich for lunch, and then back out we went. The main rules were dont hurt yourself or each other and dont bother grandma And although my grandma didnt hover over us I have nothing but happy thoughts about my childhood with her honestly 
My mom wouldnt care a bit if you told her that you werent her friend anymore, she would say "thats ok Im not supposed to be your friend Im your mom"
When I was a kid I stayed with my grandma while my mom was at work...we went outside in the morning, got a bologna sandwich for lunch, and then back out we went. The main rules were dont hurt yourself or each other and dont bother grandma
And although my grandma didnt hover over us I have nothing but happy thoughts about my childhood with her honestly
SilverSabre25 06:17 AM 08-03-2011
That problem isn't terribly widespread here, but that might have something to do with my DD being perfectly capable of exploring, imagining, and playing with things. My others (who are all younger than her by 7-18 months) copy and learn from her. Now, our distinct lack of musical light-up toys does seem to confuse them, to the point where if something still has its batteries (a couple Little People toys, for example), they fixate on it and make it sound over and over and over.
however, the second there's a baby toy within reach, all three of my dcks are on it like cats pouncing on a tantalizing mouse. I set up the table with playdough on it and put down a playmat for my infant, and they're hanging over the baby gate whining to get to the playmat while ignoring the playdough--"But I wanna play wif dat...."
however, the second there's a baby toy within reach, all three of my dcks are on it like cats pouncing on a tantalizing mouse. I set up the table with playdough on it and put down a playmat for my infant, and they're hanging over the baby gate whining to get to the playmat while ignoring the playdough--"But I wanna play wif dat...."
MarinaVanessa 09:04 AM 08-03-2011
I didn't think that I even had a problem before this but I was thinking about it last night and I think that maybe because I had the last group of kids since they were very little (under a year when they each started) that maybe that's why I didn't see the problem. I allow the little ones, even infants, to pretty much have a lot of freedom to explore and play on their own ... I'm more of a bystander that sits back and watches them. If they need me I'm there and all but I don't like interfering with their play.
It was a total shocker for me to realize yesterday that my "new group" was different because they hadn't had the opportunity to explore freely. My new kids are all 2yo and older. I could tell that the kids were diffrerent but chalked it up to just being more needy because they had been with mommy before daycare, until yesterday that is.
It was a total shocker for me to realize yesterday that my "new group" was different because they hadn't had the opportunity to explore freely. My new kids are all 2yo and older. I could tell that the kids were diffrerent but chalked it up to just being more needy because they had been with mommy before daycare, until yesterday that is.
MG&Lsmom 11:26 AM 08-03-2011
Do you find it more with onlys? Because I've had sib groups before and never really ran into this problem. The last 2 onlys I've taken in have been this way. And a 3rd who was 5 years younger than the next sib was also this way.
For example, today I took new dcg and DD to a really cool playground quite a bit away from my house. DCG just stood there, stared, and then started crying. She would run to one thing, stare at it, half heartedly try to climb it or play or whatever, and start crying. She wanted me to put her on top of the baby slide. There were 3 steps, normal baby steps, to get up the top. "No I can't do". It was insane.
For example, today I took new dcg and DD to a really cool playground quite a bit away from my house. DCG just stood there, stared, and then started crying. She would run to one thing, stare at it, half heartedly try to climb it or play or whatever, and start crying. She wanted me to put her on top of the baby slide. There were 3 steps, normal baby steps, to get up the top. "No I can't do". It was insane.
erinalexmom 11:30 AM 08-03-2011
Originally Posted by MG&Lsmom:
Do you find it more with onlys? Because I've had sib groups before and never really ran into this problem. The last 2 onlys I've taken in have been this way. And a 3rd who was 5 years younger than the next sib was also this way.
For example, today I took new dcg and DD to a really cool playground quite a bit away from my house. DCG just stood there, stared, and then started crying. She would run to one thing, stare at it, half heartedly try to climb it or play or whatever, and start crying. She wanted me to put her on top of the baby slide. There were 3 steps, normal baby steps, to get up the top. "No I can't do". It was insane.
I think its the same way with my kids because they are all the baby (by 5 years or more) or the only.Do you find it more with onlys? Because I've had sib groups before and never really ran into this problem. The last 2 onlys I've taken in have been this way. And a 3rd who was 5 years younger than the next sib was also this way.
For example, today I took new dcg and DD to a really cool playground quite a bit away from my house. DCG just stood there, stared, and then started crying. She would run to one thing, stare at it, half heartedly try to climb it or play or whatever, and start crying. She wanted me to put her on top of the baby slide. There were 3 steps, normal baby steps, to get up the top. "No I can't do". It was insane.