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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Can't Work With Special Needs Kids
Unregistered 04:25 PM 09-08-2014
I am a member, but logged out for privacy because of the nature of this topic.
I feel bad about this, and I have tried numerous times to work with them, but I just don't have the patience for special needs kids or children who are slow minded. I keep trying to make myself work with them. But I just don't have the patience for them. I feel like I am wasting my time trying to teach them. It takes months for them to learn something that a typical child can learn in a week. I have to repeat myself 10 times with a simple command, such as, 'sit in the chair.' and they still don't comprehend me or willingly do what I tell them to. Meanwhile, the 'typical' children have sat down minutes ago and are getting impatient waiting for the special needs kid. I just feel bad that I don't have the patience for them.
Then I tell myself that I shouldn't feel bad and that I shouldn't keep trying to force myself to work with them. There are different types of teachers such as special needs teachers, preschool teachers, elementary school teachers, middle school teachers, high school teachers, and college professors. I don't think college professors would have the patience to work with kindergartners, so why don't I think it's okay for me not to work with special needs kids? In the childcare world, there are teachers who only work with infants and could not handle working with the school agers. There are 4 year old teachers who could not handle working with the infants.
So, why do I, a home daycare provider think I am supposed to be able to work with all ages including special needs kids? And why do I feel like a horrible person because I can't handle working with special needs kids?
I love working with ages 3-5 who are more along the gifted and talented level. I get a kick out of teaching them and seeing them get excited when they learn a new concept. I put a lot of time and energy into my daycare and my kids to provide a really good preschool educational program. I feel proud of myself, my company, and my daycare children when I am working with a more able-minded group. But if you put one special needs child in the group, I lose all sense of purpose because that one child slows the entire program down and I wind up frustrated all day, every day. Then I feel like a horrible person.
I guess I'm trying to get your opinion about the paragraph I wrote regarding the different types of teachers and if you agree that it's okay to not be able to work with every age and type of child or if you think that something's wrong with me for not having patience with slower-minded children. Does that make me heart-less, a horrible person, etc. Or is it just that I, like a college professor who knows they couldn't work with kindergartners, have simply learned what type of children I can work with?
I feel bad about this, and I have tried numerous times to work with them, but I just don't have the patience for special needs kids or children who are slow minded. I keep trying to make myself work with them. But I just don't have the patience for them. I feel like I am wasting my time trying to teach them. It takes months for them to learn something that a typical child can learn in a week. I have to repeat myself 10 times with a simple command, such as, 'sit in the chair.' and they still don't comprehend me or willingly do what I tell them to. Meanwhile, the 'typical' children have sat down minutes ago and are getting impatient waiting for the special needs kid. I just feel bad that I don't have the patience for them.
Then I tell myself that I shouldn't feel bad and that I shouldn't keep trying to force myself to work with them. There are different types of teachers such as special needs teachers, preschool teachers, elementary school teachers, middle school teachers, high school teachers, and college professors. I don't think college professors would have the patience to work with kindergartners, so why don't I think it's okay for me not to work with special needs kids? In the childcare world, there are teachers who only work with infants and could not handle working with the school agers. There are 4 year old teachers who could not handle working with the infants.
So, why do I, a home daycare provider think I am supposed to be able to work with all ages including special needs kids? And why do I feel like a horrible person because I can't handle working with special needs kids?
I love working with ages 3-5 who are more along the gifted and talented level. I get a kick out of teaching them and seeing them get excited when they learn a new concept. I put a lot of time and energy into my daycare and my kids to provide a really good preschool educational program. I feel proud of myself, my company, and my daycare children when I am working with a more able-minded group. But if you put one special needs child in the group, I lose all sense of purpose because that one child slows the entire program down and I wind up frustrated all day, every day. Then I feel like a horrible person.
I guess I'm trying to get your opinion about the paragraph I wrote regarding the different types of teachers and if you agree that it's okay to not be able to work with every age and type of child or if you think that something's wrong with me for not having patience with slower-minded children. Does that make me heart-less, a horrible person, etc. Or is it just that I, like a college professor who knows they couldn't work with kindergartners, have simply learned what type of children I can work with?
Mom o Col 04:50 PM 09-08-2014
I think you hit the nail on the head: each of us, not just child care providers, are made to help in our own way and according to our abilities. It's ok that you'd rather teach and care for a certain kind of child. It's a positive thing in my opinion that you realize that about yourself. Similarly, I've recently come to the conclusion that I don't want to care for infants or school age kids any longer. When I do I find I'm less patient with the group as a whole because I'm not enjoying my work. In this case I'm not doing anyone including myself as much good as I know I could and should be. What I'm saying is infants, school agers, gifted, special needs, rich, poor, every kid deserves a provider who at the very least sees his or her potential and wants to bring it out in them. I feel I can best do that in young children. You feel you can best do that in gifted children. The kids with special needs are as full of potential as any other child. If that is not your niche that's ok. Thank God there are people who love to see those kids eyes light up when they learn. If that is not you then by doing what is right for you by not caring for them opens more potential for them to find that teacher or provider who will help them shine as much as they should.
Heidi 05:27 PM 09-08-2014
Hey, you are who you are. That's ok!
Knowing your strengths and "shortcomings" and accepting that is ok!
It would be worse, IMO, to take on kiddos you just don't have the capacity for and then maybe lose patience or treat them badly. Not that you would, but sometimes people just can't say "not a good fit" and then have problems.
Knowing your strengths and "shortcomings" and accepting that is ok!It would be worse, IMO, to take on kiddos you just don't have the capacity for and then maybe lose patience or treat them badly. Not that you would, but sometimes people just can't say "not a good fit" and then have problems.
NightOwl 05:42 PM 09-08-2014
You recognize the limits on your patience and what pushes your buttons.
Imho, full inclusion is not always the best thing. As the mom of two gifted children, I saw the effects of full inclusion on them and these effects were mostly negative. But God forbid I speak up, then I'm a horrible person who doesn't like disabled children. That's the farthest from the truth since I never, EVER rule out a new enrollment based on ability. I take them on an individual basis after deciding if i can meet their needs and if they will fit well into my program.
So no, you are not a horrible person. You know which age group you like best and mesh with best. I don't feel the same way about disabled or slow to learn children, but I respect the way you feel and how you choose the children you enroll.
Imho, full inclusion is not always the best thing. As the mom of two gifted children, I saw the effects of full inclusion on them and these effects were mostly negative. But God forbid I speak up, then I'm a horrible person who doesn't like disabled children. That's the farthest from the truth since I never, EVER rule out a new enrollment based on ability. I take them on an individual basis after deciding if i can meet their needs and if they will fit well into my program.
So no, you are not a horrible person. You know which age group you like best and mesh with best. I don't feel the same way about disabled or slow to learn children, but I respect the way you feel and how you choose the children you enroll.
Sunchimes 07:11 PM 09-08-2014
There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. My child of choice would be a 2-4 yo smart girl. I have always been a teacher, started at the high school level, and keeps dropping. ;-) I loved teaching the little one who just headed off to pre-k. It was a joy seeing her learn and made my job worthwhile.
Then, her baby brother turned out to have some issues, and this was my introduction to special needs. I didn't choose to do it, I just couldn't term him-I loved him. I'd had him since he was 6 weeks old. If I'd been asked if I wanted to do it, I probably would have said, 'Not really". But, I wasn't asked and so I jumped into the ring and started learning about special needs. And, at 60 years old, I found what I was meant to do. Now, I am a special needs daycare-all of my kids are in the ECI program.
Sometimes, for any of the reasons you mentioned, I wish for a room of smart, typical kids. Sometimes, I look longingly at themes and coloring pages and folder games on sequencing. But then, my ASD child will, out of the blue, sit down in the floor and play with a toy appropriately, for the first time ever!!! Or the child with motor issues jumps and both feet clear the floor!! I may not see them "get excited when they learn a new concept", because they don't know how stupendous it was, but I know. And their parents know.
Honestly, I've shed a lot of tears in the 1 1/2 years I've been working with special needs kids, but most of them have been happy tears when I see positive results for something I taught them.
There may come a day when I won't be a special needs provider. When I have an opening, I take the child who needs me. I thought my last space would be taken by a typical child because I couldn't find a special needs to take the spot. But suddenly, out of the blue, here she came. When the oldest goes off to PPCD in a few months, I'll hope for a special child. They may or may not have needs, but I know they will be special either way.
There is room in the teaching profession for all of us. I think you covered it quite well. I can't think of anything I would add to your post.
Then, her baby brother turned out to have some issues, and this was my introduction to special needs. I didn't choose to do it, I just couldn't term him-I loved him. I'd had him since he was 6 weeks old. If I'd been asked if I wanted to do it, I probably would have said, 'Not really". But, I wasn't asked and so I jumped into the ring and started learning about special needs. And, at 60 years old, I found what I was meant to do. Now, I am a special needs daycare-all of my kids are in the ECI program.
Sometimes, for any of the reasons you mentioned, I wish for a room of smart, typical kids. Sometimes, I look longingly at themes and coloring pages and folder games on sequencing. But then, my ASD child will, out of the blue, sit down in the floor and play with a toy appropriately, for the first time ever!!! Or the child with motor issues jumps and both feet clear the floor!! I may not see them "get excited when they learn a new concept", because they don't know how stupendous it was, but I know. And their parents know.
Honestly, I've shed a lot of tears in the 1 1/2 years I've been working with special needs kids, but most of them have been happy tears when I see positive results for something I taught them.
There may come a day when I won't be a special needs provider. When I have an opening, I take the child who needs me. I thought my last space would be taken by a typical child because I couldn't find a special needs to take the spot. But suddenly, out of the blue, here she came. When the oldest goes off to PPCD in a few months, I'll hope for a special child. They may or may not have needs, but I know they will be special either way.
There is room in the teaching profession for all of us. I think you covered it quite well. I can't think of anything I would add to your post.
Controlled Chaos 08:05 PM 09-08-2014
Don't be too hard on yourself. As others have said, knowing your strengths and your limits is important.
I had a moment today where I got way too frustrated with a slow little boy. I didn't express my frustrations outwardly but my mind was spinning. I felt angry he wouldn't sit in the chair. He is 3 and the 2s were already waiting patiently with the 4s. I had to take some time to think through my reaction this afternoon. For me, I realized I was more angry that I think the reason he is slow is he is essentially malnourished as he eats NO foods with nutritional value and mom isn't working on it. He is not underweight but only eats cracker/bread like things. I am going to make a contract with mom that I won't term if she gets me a drs note with a plan for proceeding with dkb's eating and behavior issues (which again I think stem from having no fuel for his poor developing brain). Sorry for the tangent...my point is figure out what your limit is and then take steps to change your situation if you can't deal. I have decided my limit is I can't care for a high needs child with no parental support. I just don't have it in me right now. My heart breaks for this little boy, but I can't help him without mom's and dr's support.
I had a moment today where I got way too frustrated with a slow little boy. I didn't express my frustrations outwardly but my mind was spinning. I felt angry he wouldn't sit in the chair. He is 3 and the 2s were already waiting patiently with the 4s. I had to take some time to think through my reaction this afternoon. For me, I realized I was more angry that I think the reason he is slow is he is essentially malnourished as he eats NO foods with nutritional value and mom isn't working on it. He is not underweight but only eats cracker/bread like things. I am going to make a contract with mom that I won't term if she gets me a drs note with a plan for proceeding with dkb's eating and behavior issues (which again I think stem from having no fuel for his poor developing brain). Sorry for the tangent...my point is figure out what your limit is and then take steps to change your situation if you can't deal. I have decided my limit is I can't care for a high needs child with no parental support. I just don't have it in me right now. My heart breaks for this little boy, but I can't help him without mom's and dr's support.
NightOwl 09:33 PM 09-08-2014
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. My child of choice would be a 2-4 yo smart girl. I have always been a teacher, started at the high school level, and keeps dropping. ;-) I loved teaching the little one who just headed off to pre-k. It was a joy seeing her learn and made my job worthwhile.
Then, her baby brother turned out to have some issues, and this was my introduction to special needs. I didn't choose to do it, I just couldn't term him-I loved him. I'd had him since he was 6 weeks old. If I'd been asked if I wanted to do it, I probably would have said, 'Not really". But, I wasn't asked and so I jumped into the ring and started learning about special needs. And, at 60 years old, I found what I was meant to do. Now, I am a special needs daycare-all of my kids are in the ECI program.
Sometimes, for any of the reasons you mentioned, I wish for a room of smart, typical kids. Sometimes, I look longingly at themes and coloring pages and folder games on sequencing. But then, my ASD child will, out of the blue, sit down in the floor and play with a toy appropriately, for the first time ever!!! Or the child with motor issues jumps and both feet clear the floor!! I may not see them "get excited when they learn a new concept", because they don't know how stupendous it was, but I know. And their parents know.
Honestly, I've shed a lot of tears in the 1 1/2 years I've been working with special needs kids, but most of them have been happy tears when I see positive results for something I taught them.
There may come a day when I won't be a special needs provider. When I have an opening, I take the child who needs me. I thought my last space would be taken by a typical child because I couldn't find a special needs to take the spot. But suddenly, out of the blue, here she came. When the oldest goes off to PPCD in a few months, I'll hope for a special child. They may or may not have needs, but I know they will be special either way.
There is room in the teaching profession for all of us. I think you covered it quite well. I can't think of anything I would add to your post.
Beautifully said.There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way. My child of choice would be a 2-4 yo smart girl. I have always been a teacher, started at the high school level, and keeps dropping. ;-) I loved teaching the little one who just headed off to pre-k. It was a joy seeing her learn and made my job worthwhile.
Then, her baby brother turned out to have some issues, and this was my introduction to special needs. I didn't choose to do it, I just couldn't term him-I loved him. I'd had him since he was 6 weeks old. If I'd been asked if I wanted to do it, I probably would have said, 'Not really". But, I wasn't asked and so I jumped into the ring and started learning about special needs. And, at 60 years old, I found what I was meant to do. Now, I am a special needs daycare-all of my kids are in the ECI program.
Sometimes, for any of the reasons you mentioned, I wish for a room of smart, typical kids. Sometimes, I look longingly at themes and coloring pages and folder games on sequencing. But then, my ASD child will, out of the blue, sit down in the floor and play with a toy appropriately, for the first time ever!!! Or the child with motor issues jumps and both feet clear the floor!! I may not see them "get excited when they learn a new concept", because they don't know how stupendous it was, but I know. And their parents know.
Honestly, I've shed a lot of tears in the 1 1/2 years I've been working with special needs kids, but most of them have been happy tears when I see positive results for something I taught them.
There may come a day when I won't be a special needs provider. When I have an opening, I take the child who needs me. I thought my last space would be taken by a typical child because I couldn't find a special needs to take the spot. But suddenly, out of the blue, here she came. When the oldest goes off to PPCD in a few months, I'll hope for a special child. They may or may not have needs, but I know they will be special either way.
There is room in the teaching profession for all of us. I think you covered it quite well. I can't think of anything I would add to your post.
itlw8 10:05 PM 09-08-2014
I agree you should probably not be working with them but I do have a HUGE problem with you referring to children as slow minded. Even special needs children wrong the child may have some special needs but is a child first.
You are right some people do not have patience to work with any except the brightest. But the joy is no less when the child they thought may never crawl learns to walk. Or the day he spent all day trying to teach you the sign for Daddy. Who was slow minded ?? I think it was me that day. Do children that are not perfect slow my group down ?? no the others are great about teaching by example. Some times it is OUR program that is the problem not the child. Expecting preschoolers to do worksheets, sit in a chair and listen to the adult teach. All preschoolers learn better by doing not being told.
I am sorry if I offended you but really by signing out you knew it would bother some. Calling a child slow minded is as offensive as it gets.
You are right some people do not have patience to work with any except the brightest. But the joy is no less when the child they thought may never crawl learns to walk. Or the day he spent all day trying to teach you the sign for Daddy. Who was slow minded ?? I think it was me that day. Do children that are not perfect slow my group down ?? no the others are great about teaching by example. Some times it is OUR program that is the problem not the child. Expecting preschoolers to do worksheets, sit in a chair and listen to the adult teach. All preschoolers learn better by doing not being told.
I am sorry if I offended you but really by signing out you knew it would bother some. Calling a child slow minded is as offensive as it gets.
sugar buzz 04:26 AM 09-09-2014
Originally Posted by itlw8:
I agree you should probably not be working with them but I do have a HUGE problem with you referring to children as slow minded. Even special needs children wrong the child may have some special needs but is a child first.
You are right some people do not have patience to work with any except the brightest. But the joy is no less when the child they thought may never crawl learns to walk. Or the day he spent all day trying to teach you the sign for Daddy. Who was slow minded ?? I think it was me that day. Do children that are not perfect slow my group down ?? no the others are great about teaching by example. Some times it is OUR program that is the problem not the child. Expecting preschoolers to do worksheets, sit in a chair and listen to the adult teach. All preschoolers learn better by doing not being told.
I am sorry if I offended you but really by signing out you knew it would bother some. Calling a child slow minded is as offensive as it gets.
I don't think that there's anything wrong at all with knowing and setting your limitations and strengths. My issue was with the word, "slow-minded," too. Not all children with special needs are learning disabled. Many disorders have normal to above average IQ's. (Albert Einstein had special needs and was labeled "dumb.") High ability and giftedness is actually a form of special needs, also. The children who are learning disabled have enough on their plate, without being termed, offensively and generalized. (I don't mean to sound preachy--this is near and dear to my heart. My younger brother has a learning disability and speech impediment and ended up graduating with honors.)I agree you should probably not be working with them but I do have a HUGE problem with you referring to children as slow minded. Even special needs children wrong the child may have some special needs but is a child first.
You are right some people do not have patience to work with any except the brightest. But the joy is no less when the child they thought may never crawl learns to walk. Or the day he spent all day trying to teach you the sign for Daddy. Who was slow minded ?? I think it was me that day. Do children that are not perfect slow my group down ?? no the others are great about teaching by example. Some times it is OUR program that is the problem not the child. Expecting preschoolers to do worksheets, sit in a chair and listen to the adult teach. All preschoolers learn better by doing not being told.
I am sorry if I offended you but really by signing out you knew it would bother some. Calling a child slow minded is as offensive as it gets.
NightOwl 08:27 AM 09-10-2014
Another I've heard in recent years is differently-abled.
grateday 02:39 PM 09-11-2014
All I have ever known from day one of running daycare are those with special needs it was not untill people moved, or transitioned out of childcare that I realized I had been providing childcare to special needs children. It wasn't until I wanted to rip my hair out of my head and I started taking more classes and educating myself that it was possible.
Is it for everyone, no? I am not a type A kind of person, I am a flexible person, I have a big heart, and a lot of patience. Does every kind of parent want that kind of provider.........No
Some parents dislike me the minute that I start talking, I can tell they are looking for a more rigid structure and I don't have that because of special needs.
The needs range from medical disabilities, to ADHD, sesory processing, and autism spectrum.
I have had to adapt so much of how I do things that a 'typical' childcare/preschool would not work.
Mixed ages is a problem for me. I can handle mostly 9mo-4yrs. Then 5 and 6 years old a few hours is all. But special needs, once I get a routine that works for the both of us, it works out. The biggest thing is a love to see that time when things do change and when there are moments between the two of you and between others.
Sometimes a special needs child is so much better at handling certain things than a typical child can in some areas and that is one of the most amazing things I see in them. They are special and you will find that something if you look hard enough it is were they shine as an individual and it is your key to working with them.
Is it for everyone, no? I am not a type A kind of person, I am a flexible person, I have a big heart, and a lot of patience. Does every kind of parent want that kind of provider.........No
Some parents dislike me the minute that I start talking, I can tell they are looking for a more rigid structure and I don't have that because of special needs.
The needs range from medical disabilities, to ADHD, sesory processing, and autism spectrum.
I have had to adapt so much of how I do things that a 'typical' childcare/preschool would not work.
Mixed ages is a problem for me. I can handle mostly 9mo-4yrs. Then 5 and 6 years old a few hours is all. But special needs, once I get a routine that works for the both of us, it works out. The biggest thing is a love to see that time when things do change and when there are moments between the two of you and between others.
Sometimes a special needs child is so much better at handling certain things than a typical child can in some areas and that is one of the most amazing things I see in them. They are special and you will find that something if you look hard enough it is were they shine as an individual and it is your key to working with them.
Unregistered 04:03 PM 09-11-2014
I'm a SN mom. I don't find the terms really offensive at all. I think we have to look at
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
and no one is picking on him. Example of when someone gets seriously offended and doesn't need to be: The word abortion (means to stop) A woman who has a miscarriage experiences an abortion. A mission in the air is aborted upon command of a general. ALL mean the same thing, and yet everyone gets their arms up in air over a WORD that really has ONE meaning. "To Stop"
Special-Needs could turn into a 'bad word', learning disabled can, all kinds of PC words turn
bad. It's up to us not to feel offended or hurt by what other people are trying to express as long as they are not doing it maliciously, because if we didn't (myself included) I would be offended ALL the time. My son DOES have special needs. That's a fact and not a bad thing. NOT everyone wants to handle him. Do I think they're bad? NOPE!!!! I think that they are honest and I'd rather a DCP tell me "I don't have the capacity to help with these things" rather than have someone tell me they're willing to work with me only to feel resentful, burnt out, overwhelmed, scared, unsure or whatever else. Even if it IS only a preference, that's not a bad thing. I'd rather someone not take my child than to do so, and then back out later. It is PRUDENT that he has consistency.
If someone really doesn't want to do a job, they don't stay in that job or maybe they just don't do the job as well as they could; child care is no exception. Quality of work IS affected by how you feel, no matter how hard you try to stifle it, it will eventually come up.
Everyone, EVERYONE, really has special needs. It is a matter of WHAT special needs a person has and whether or not another person is able to accomodate to the BEST of their ability. You are saying you ARE NOT able to do so...therefore I wouldn't try.
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
and no one is picking on him. Example of when someone gets seriously offended and doesn't need to be: The word abortion (means to stop) A woman who has a miscarriage experiences an abortion. A mission in the air is aborted upon command of a general. ALL mean the same thing, and yet everyone gets their arms up in air over a WORD that really has ONE meaning. "To Stop"
Special-Needs could turn into a 'bad word', learning disabled can, all kinds of PC words turn
bad. It's up to us not to feel offended or hurt by what other people are trying to express as long as they are not doing it maliciously, because if we didn't (myself included) I would be offended ALL the time. My son DOES have special needs. That's a fact and not a bad thing. NOT everyone wants to handle him. Do I think they're bad? NOPE!!!! I think that they are honest and I'd rather a DCP tell me "I don't have the capacity to help with these things" rather than have someone tell me they're willing to work with me only to feel resentful, burnt out, overwhelmed, scared, unsure or whatever else. Even if it IS only a preference, that's not a bad thing. I'd rather someone not take my child than to do so, and then back out later. It is PRUDENT that he has consistency.
If someone really doesn't want to do a job, they don't stay in that job or maybe they just don't do the job as well as they could; child care is no exception. Quality of work IS affected by how you feel, no matter how hard you try to stifle it, it will eventually come up.
Everyone, EVERYONE, really has special needs. It is a matter of WHAT special needs a person has and whether or not another person is able to accomodate to the BEST of their ability. You are saying you ARE NOT able to do so...therefore I wouldn't try.
e.j. 06:22 PM 09-11-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm a SN mom. I don't find the terms really offensive at all. I think we have to look at
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
and no one is picking on him. Example of when someone gets seriously offended and doesn't need to be: The word abortion (means to stop) A woman who has a miscarriage experiences an abortion. A mission in the air is aborted upon command of a general. ALL mean the same thing, and yet everyone gets their arms up in air over a WORD that really has ONE meaning. "To Stop"
Special-Needs could turn into a 'bad word', learning disabled can, all kinds of PC words turn
bad. It's up to us not to feel offended or hurt by what other people are trying to express as long as they are not doing it maliciously, because if we didn't (myself included) I would be offended ALL the time. My son DOES have special needs. That's a fact and not a bad thing. NOT everyone wants to handle him. Do I think they're bad? NOPE!!!! I think that they are honest and I'd rather a DCP tell me "I don't have the capacity to help with these things" rather than have someone tell me they're willing to work with me only to feel resentful, burnt out, overwhelmed, scared, unsure or whatever else. Even if it IS only a preference, that's not a bad thing. I'd rather someone not take my child than to do so, and then back out later. It is PRUDENT that he has consistency.
If someone really doesn't want to do a job, they don't stay in that job or maybe they just don't do the job as well as they could; child care is no exception. Quality of work IS affected by how you feel, no matter how hard you try to stifle it, it will eventually come up.
Everyone, EVERYONE, really has special needs. It is a matter of WHAT special needs a person has and whether or not another person is able to accomodate to the BEST of their ability. You are saying you ARE NOT able to do so...therefore I wouldn't try.
I'm a SN mom. I don't find the terms really offensive at all. I think we have to look at
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
and no one is picking on him. Example of when someone gets seriously offended and doesn't need to be: The word abortion (means to stop) A woman who has a miscarriage experiences an abortion. A mission in the air is aborted upon command of a general. ALL mean the same thing, and yet everyone gets their arms up in air over a WORD that really has ONE meaning. "To Stop"
Special-Needs could turn into a 'bad word', learning disabled can, all kinds of PC words turn
bad. It's up to us not to feel offended or hurt by what other people are trying to express as long as they are not doing it maliciously, because if we didn't (myself included) I would be offended ALL the time. My son DOES have special needs. That's a fact and not a bad thing. NOT everyone wants to handle him. Do I think they're bad? NOPE!!!! I think that they are honest and I'd rather a DCP tell me "I don't have the capacity to help with these things" rather than have someone tell me they're willing to work with me only to feel resentful, burnt out, overwhelmed, scared, unsure or whatever else. Even if it IS only a preference, that's not a bad thing. I'd rather someone not take my child than to do so, and then back out later. It is PRUDENT that he has consistency.
If someone really doesn't want to do a job, they don't stay in that job or maybe they just don't do the job as well as they could; child care is no exception. Quality of work IS affected by how you feel, no matter how hard you try to stifle it, it will eventually come up.
Everyone, EVERYONE, really has special needs. It is a matter of WHAT special needs a person has and whether or not another person is able to accomodate to the BEST of their ability. You are saying you ARE NOT able to do so...therefore I wouldn't try.
itlw8 07:04 PM 09-11-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm a SN mom. I don't find the terms really offensive at all. I think we have to look at
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
.
so you are fine with someone calling your child slow minded??? I have trouble seeing how that would ever be appropriate. I guess I must be wrong as I seem to be the only one it bothers.I'm a SN mom. I don't find the terms really offensive at all. I think we have to look at
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
.
Butter Biskets 07:10 PM 09-11-2014
Originally Posted by itlw8:
so you are fine with someone calling your child slow minded??? I have trouble seeing how that would ever be appropriate. I guess I must be wrong as I seem to be the only one it bothers.
I felt the same way when I read the slow minded part, but I am thinking that the poster is of another generation. It doesn't excuse the terminology, but I don't she meant to be rude.so you are fine with someone calling your child slow minded??? I have trouble seeing how that would ever be appropriate. I guess I must be wrong as I seem to be the only one it bothers.
Mom o Col 05:08 PM 09-11-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Another I've heard in recent years is differently-abled.
I like this one. Another I've heard in recent years is differently-abled.