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  #1  
Old 06-22-2016, 01:31 PM
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Default More Than a Time Out

I have a dcb, young 3, and he has been a struggle. Recently he's been really good, but we have a backslide here and there.

Would you ever have a dck miss outdoor recess? I need to up the ante on the days - which are now much fewer and farther between - that behavior is not corrected with time out. Dcb's favorite thing is to be outdoors, and while I would never stop him from going outdoors, I was thinking putting him at my outdoor time out table with a few small toys, and no access to the rest of the playground.

Too mean?
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Old 06-22-2016, 01:34 PM
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It is not the point of being mean that I'd worry about. I would worry about it being inappropriate for his age.

I would opt for MORE time outdoors and physical activity on those days.
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Old 06-22-2016, 01:37 PM
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It is not the point of being mean that I'd worry about. I would worry about it being inappropriate for his age.

I would opt for MORE time outdoors and physical activity on those days.
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Old 06-22-2016, 03:10 PM
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It is not the point of being mean that I'd worry about. I would worry about it being inappropriate for his age.

I would opt for MORE time outdoors and physical activity on those days.
OP here. I spend a fair amount of time outdoors, not sure it matters too much, though. He will hit, throw sand and dirt, push, just as much outdoors on these days. It's not the environment, it's truly just the day. Like after a grandma and grandpa visit.
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Old 06-22-2016, 03:20 PM
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OP here. I spend a fair amount of time outdoors, not sure it matters too much, though. He will hit, throw sand and dirt, push, just as much outdoors on these days. It's not the environment, it's truly just the day. Like after a grandma and grandpa visit.
I would never take away outside time as a punishment. But if a child misbehaves outside I have a blanket with some boring outside toy in the shade near my chair, where I will sit near them for a few minutes until they are ready to go try again. Rinse and Repeat. Same for inside. Have a designated area with some baby toys and when dcb misbehaves he can try to play nicely there before rejoining to group. All kids need reminded of boundaries and consequences after time with grandma and grandpa (Just teasing to the grandmas on here )
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Old 06-22-2016, 03:24 PM
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I would never take away outside time as a punishment. But if a child misbehaves outside I have a blanket with some boring outside toy in the shade near my chair, where I will sit near them for a few minutes until they are ready to go try again. Rinse and Repeat. Same for inside. Have a designated area with some baby toys and when dcb misbehaves he can try to play nicely there before rejoining to group. All kids need reminded of boundaries and consequences after time with grandma and grandpa (Just teasing to the grandmas on here )
OP Here. Yeah, that's what I have been doing, except I have a table outdoors. He basically spends an entire 90 minutes there on his off days, because the minute he gets up, he is back throwing dirt in someone's eye or giving a nice hit.
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Old 06-22-2016, 03:35 PM
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OP Here. Yeah, that's what I have been doing, except I have a table outdoors. He basically spends an entire 90 minutes there on his off days, because the minute he gets up, he is back throwing dirt in someone's eye or giving a nice hit.
I have a 5yo here and when he was 3 - that was totally him. He finally grew out of it. I still have to have him sit a minute every once in a while but nothing like before. Hope he gets better soon!
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Old 06-22-2016, 05:15 PM
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I have a 5yo here and when he was 3 - that was totally him. He finally grew out of it. I still have to have him sit a minute every once in a while but nothing like before. Hope he gets better soon!
Thanks! He's a tough one, for sure. When he came to me a year ago, he was really something. I almost termed, but I'm glad I didn't. He can be so sweet
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Old 06-22-2016, 06:28 PM
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I wouldnt take away out door time but I'd limit his options or choices of activity while outside.

You said he hits, shoves and throws sand.
He's got access to others.
His behavior is telling you he isn't ready for outside play with friends.
I'd have him playing solo
Plan group activities when you are able to be quick to intervene.
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Old 06-22-2016, 06:47 PM
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I wouldnt take away out door time but I'd limit his options or choices of activity while outside.

You said he hits, shoves and throws sand.
He's got access to others.
His behavior is telling you he isn't ready for outside play with friends.
I'd have him playing solo
Plan group activities when you are able to be quick to intervene.
Op here. Very good advice.
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Old 06-22-2016, 07:09 PM
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Then integrate children one at a time to his play space.
By the children he relates to best with his environment and play time/space, until you've involved the whole group.
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Old 06-22-2016, 07:19 PM
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Time out isn't working so giving more of a time out isn't going to help. Start taking away priviledges like BlackCat mentioned. That is a tangible consequence that he can understand, just make sure to explain why you are doing it. So "no more sand toys if you are throwing sand". I personally always give another chance for them to do the right thing. Take away the sand toys for a few minutes and then ask him if he would like another chance. I don't find too many kids mess up twice but if they do they don't get another choice that day.
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Old 06-22-2016, 07:28 PM
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I'd use other behavior management techniques and not over rely on time out. I would not keep him inside.

1. I'd also have him playing solo

2. Throws sand once...no access to sand that day

3. But I'd also set up expectations each time before going out and I'd let him know what will happen if he throws sand or pushes.

4. I'd comment on appropriate behavior not just the negative. He needs positive interaction from you. You get more if what you pay attention to.

5. I'd stay close to him if possible

6. I'd discuss it at circle time. We'd talk about thing that make each child mad, some things they can do if upset, what will happen if hitting, etc. happens. A general conversation, not targeting anyone.

7. Do you have any clue as to why he acts this way after being with grandparents? Over tired, staying up late, allowed to do anything there, lots of junk food? Behavior is communication.

I would be firm but I wouldn't want him just sitting at the table. But I wouldn't let him near the other kids. I'd have to be creative.
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Old 06-22-2016, 08:00 PM
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ITA with everyone else.

Don't limit outside time but limit access to whatever is being used incorrectly - sand, dirt, friends, etc.

Do you think it would help for him to run it out? My kiddos loved to do an "obstacle course" where I'd say "Run around the sandbox... Go down the slide... Hop 10 times..." As soon as the first ones finished the direction I added another, making things up as I went along to keep them moving as long as I could.
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Old 06-23-2016, 09:26 AM
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Losing outdoor time should NEVER be a punishment- even for older/sa children.

It would be against regulations here, supervision and required outdoor time.

I agree with others, small up his world, he needs to be right by your side/shadowed at all times.
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