Can anyone with firsthand experience share some of the potential signs of aspergers in children? Specifically age 3.5. Thanks!

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My phone is not letting me sign in. Drseuss.

Lack of eye contact
Extremely literal language
rigid set of rules for how things should be
not affectionate/does not like to snuggle or hug etc.
Apparent lack of empathy
Lack of a real connection with playmates

For starters. ...

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My DS is an Aspie.

• He was intorverted.
• Obsessive about certain interests
• Did not relate to peers
• Dull, dry or lack of sense of humor.
• Takes things literally and/or personally
• Didn't understand when someone was just teasing him
• Says things out of the blue and usually things most of us think but don't say outloud...
• He DID love to snuggle and be affectionate though and made eye contact
• VERY black and white with the rules.
• Knew volumes of info about topics that interested him
• LOVED older people and thought kids his age (at every age) were immature
• VERY routine

That's all I can think of off hand right now.

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Sometimes, repetative behaviors like arm flapping, and a fixation on a certain subject. For instance, trains or dinosaurs. Not just the subject, but the gross details of the subject...endlessly.

My friend's then-9 year old was fascinated with vacuum cleaners. He could talk on and on about vacuums. "Trent, what kind of pizza do you like?" "I like pepperoni. Hey, are you familiar with the Hoover cyclone? It has 25 megawatts of power, and yada yada yada..."

That woman had the cleanest floors in town, man!

A lot of kids are "into" a certain thing. Aspie's can just take it to the extreme.

Also, a monotone voice, and a lack of awareness of social cues. Hard to tell that one on a 3 year old, though.

It's the combination of some or all of these "symptoms", enough to affect his ability to succeed without help, that will give an actual diagnosis.

My own son, who is 13 1/2, has many of these traits, but no diagnosis. He's also highly sensitive, not a common Aspie trait, to my knowledge. So, while there are many parallels, he's doesn't have Asperger's .

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My DS is highly sensitive too but his therapist said it was more of an side effect than a symptom... the sensitivity comes from the taking things literally and personally or at face value without reading undertones and/or hidden meanings.

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The blue are all my 13 yo son, too. Add highly sensitive (cries easily), hates new clothes/shoes/haircuts, and a near-hoarder. But, he's not diagnosed. As a young child, he just seemed sensitive and creative (think McGyver Jr.). He actually prefers younger children..or maybe they prefer him?

His teachers do believe he skirts the spectrum, but they aren't concerned with a label.

My oldest son (24) and your son sound almost identical. I've said that before.


sorry...the color thing didn't work...

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hmmm...bingo! I hadn't thought of that.

My son's voice is very monotone, yours?

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Yep. My son is the same

He also has this kind of fake or forced chuckle. I think it was a learned behavior though (when to laugh at stories or in conversation etc) and that is why it sounds forced.

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Drseuss again.

Yes on the hating haircuts, new clothing and shoes! Wants to wear the same things over and over. . Ours likes plain solid t-shirts, nothing flashy or that would be considered trendy.

When our son was asked what he does in his new job at the grocery store, he doesn't say that he's a cashier or a checker. He tells people that he scans items. That kind of thing.

I am continually amazed at how he is so black and white, on one hand, but on the other hand is so musical and creative.

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So, I have 4 kids, and honestly, they're all what I call "neurologically quirky".

Oldest and 3rd had neonatal siezures for the first 6 months or so.

Oldest and youngest are edging the spectrum, the 2nd one had poor muscle tone, speech articulation issues, and is intellectually gifted.

3rd one is transgender. I don't know if that's neurological, but we'll go with that.

I also have a motto: "There IS no normal".

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My son also has an AS diagnosis. At 3 1/2, we noticed things like:

Hand flapping and a kind of shuffle dance with his feet
Non-stop talking
Obsessive interests
Frequent meltdowns
Issues with empathy (vs. lack of empathy) Once he understood how and why someone felt sad, happy, etc.... he was(is) very empathetic.
Difficulty reading facial expressions and body language.
Difficulty sharing with other kids
Highly intelligent / excellent verbal skills / incredible memory
Had(has) a great killer sense of humor but didn't always understand other people's jokes because he could be very literal
Some difficulty with gross and fine motor skills
Some difficulty with eye contact but not too bad
Sensory integration issues - food textures, the feel of clothing on his skin, very sensitive to sounds and smells
Anxiety
Hoarding
Misused pronouns ("You want a cookie?" vs "I want a cookie.")
Echolalia
Enjoyed having a routine
Difficulty relating to kids his own age. Related much better to adults.
Felt more comfortable playing alone. Playing with other kids was very tiring.
Often developed attachments to inanimate objects
Difficulty generalizing information (Me: "I asked you not to paint that picture on the rug!" Him: "You told me not to paint on the dining room rug. I'm painting on the living room rug.")

I know there are more but I can't remember. If I think of them, I'll come back and add to my list.

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Asperger's can look very different in a girl than in a boy. While they share some traits, girls are often more adept at learning social cues than boys. Boys will not notice or care, whereas girls are more interested in learning the appropriate social behavior.

The others have described boys quite well. If the child is a girl, you will want to look that up specifically.
Some items: The child may not want to snuggle, or they might want to be squeezed or snuggled very hard. This kids are often sensory seeking or avoiding. Loud sounds or bright lights might bother them or they might seek them.
Also, one of the defining factors of Asperger's is normal development of speech. They are now discovering that the child may not speak until quite late, then develop speech very rapidly. An obsession may also not be present in girls, though they will often talk (once they begin) in a repetitive fashion, repeating the same thing to everyone they meet and without filter (saying something that might only be appropriate to family to everyone.)

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While living with them you are aware that either YOU are bat**** crazy, or THEY are.

Oh wait that's probably not helpful my DH is Aspie. He edges towards the more classically feminine version though so I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be. Biggest thing with him is lack of awareness of social cues, the physical inability to shut up and stop talking, unawareness of when NO ONE CARES about what he's saying, and oh, the fixations/obsessions... those are huge too. DH"s are less specific than the usual examples of "types of trains" or something, but they are very....obsessed.

Listening to stories about his childhood I'm like, "oh look ASPIE!" but no one ever caught it, even when he was having major issues as a teen, in the care of psychologists/psychiatrists.

At 3.5 I think you are most likely to notice sensory differences, social differences, VERY bright/advanced academically, and a child that drives you batty, and interests that are very intense. the Aspie children I know tend to sleep like crap as babies, stop napping early, and are often very high needs/difficult babies/kids. Sometimes life just seems harder for them.

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I had a 5 year old drop-in daycare kid that was Asperger diagnosed ( years ago) and he repeated certain questions (I mean constantly), loved pulling grass and was a hugger (he loved brushing my hair too). He also had a favorite color and my orange silk fabric became his go to blanket, playmat … just about everything

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My son has a diagnosis of PDD or pervasive developmental disorder, which is like the umbrella diagnoses for things like autism and asperger's. It's hard to see it now that he's 11, most people just think he's a little different, but not too much, and think he's a funny kid.

When he was young, he had significant speech delays (was barely talking when entering kindergarten, babbled most of the time, or answered questions incorrectly. "What color is your shirt?" "My brother is Lucas." That kind of thing). He had hand flapping, was very obsessed with the placement of his toys, did not interact with others, and although he tested very low on math and reading assessments, his problem solving skills were amazing! There is not a child lock on this earth that would prevent him from escaping, much to my delight, lol. He went through a stage where he'd only eat cheerios. He hated clothes (still does). I really thought he was autistic, but he didn't mind being held or sitting on my lap or giving hugs if asked (never initiated).

Basically, he just seemed like he was in his own world for most of his preschool life.

Oh, he remembers dates like Rainman. Not kidding. He remembers people and places I can't. He remembers facts about a ton of things. Want to know about the Titanic? He could have told you all about it at age 6. He knows everyone he's ever met's birthdays.

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Reading all of these descriptions, I finally have to add one from one of my old dcbs, age 2 1/2. "What way do your windshield wipers go?"
Hint: Put up your arms far apart and 'wipe' both down toward the middle OR
Put your arms up closer together and 'wipe' them first one direction, then the other, both at the same time, moving together.
He knew other random details about people's cars too. Such a fascinating kid.

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One of my all-time favorite kindergarten students had aspergers. We once had this conversation:
"Teacher, I'm gonna run in a race, is that bein' nice?"
"Yeah, that would be fine."
"I'm gonna win the race, is that bein' nice?"
"Yes, it's nice if you win a race, that's fine."
"I'm gonna go home and be mean to my mama, is that bein' nice?"
"Um, no, being mean isn't being nice."

He knew he was supposed to be nice to others, he just wasn't quite sure how to do it

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I have a fake laugh I use daily. My clients seem to appreciate me pretending they are amusing..wonder if anyone can tell it is fake now.

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Although my DH and I were fairly certain our DS could speak (there were random moments but he refused to repeat..) he didnt begin to talk regularly or converse with others until he was 3-3.5 yrs old.

Then when he did talk, he used big words for his age.
"Mom, I've misplaced my backpack and it's perplexing"

It was cute and odd at the same time.

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I think we're married to the same guy!

And I can't believe I forgot about the sleep issues!! I can't count how many nights he was wide awake looooooong after he should have been sleeping.

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Reading all of this confirms once again to me that my 7 year old DCB has aspergers. He was diagnosed with mild ADD last year when he started school but it just doesn't fit. He had only been in school for a week when the teacher insisted on an evaluation but I know Mom and Dad didn't see anything at all different with him and went into the evaluations with that mentality. DBC only saw a doctor twice and refused to speak much so the doctor went off the parent and teacher questionnaires. (Which is why I question the diagnosis)

He has been quirky since he was a baby. Right now he's documenting the number of chimneys by street in our area and all things weather. He HAS to check the weather online the second he arrives at my house each day because he hasn't has access to reports for 6 hours in school.

Of Blackcats list he hits these point.

He was intorverted.
Obsessive about certain interests
Did not relate to peers
Dull, dry or lack of sense of humor.
Takes things literally and/or personally
Didn't understand when someone was just teasing him
Says things out of the blue and usually things most of us think but don't say outloud...
He DID love to snuggle and be affectionate though and made eye contact
VERY black and white with the rules.
Knew volumes of info about topics that interested him
LOVED older people and thought kids his age (at every age) were immature
VERY routine

I can add:

Very little eye contact until age 5+ and even then he was taught that it was polite to make eye contact so it's a learned behavior.

Gave me and his parents our first real hug at age 6.5 (after more than 5 years here) after seeing his younger sister (2) throw herself at me repeatedly. He would always let me hug him but with straight arms at his sides and his face turned away.

Must walk the same route and talk about the same things (while counting chimneys) on the way home from school each day.

Irrational distress if the weather report is wrong from the actual weather or anything is in a different spot in the house or I substitute a snack item. I write snack substitutes on the menu even though parents don't care because he feels serious stress when things on the table don't match.

Sorry...I hijacked but this really got my thinking and I wanted to get it all out. I worry about him and love him like he's my own. He's been having social problems in school lately and I just want to shake his parents to wake them up.

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I am awesome to be married to.
Has your husband considered any dietary changes? Eliminating gluten has been very beneficial for me (plus constantly working on my social skills).

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Thanks. While some of those descriptions describe dcg, most of them do not. Something isnt right, but I cant figure out what it is.

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This site has really helped me a lot since my son was diagnosed in the 4th grade:

http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-aut...erger-syndrome

Every single child on the spectrum is different from each other. There are underlying criteria, but not every child has all criteria.

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This. My son had many of these qualities and this list just made me laugh and smile.

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Yeah, he tries with gluten in particular, and he definitely feels better without it. I have to be on top of him for a lot of stuff (I forced the concept of "portion size" down his throat recently) and it's a lot like living with a teenager sometimes.

He's really grateful for the Asperger's label because it gives him a framework for what's him(and therefore Asperger's) and what's NORMAL. I can say to him now "I'm not talking to Asperger's" and he gets that he's out of line past what a normal person would be doing/saying, or I can gently tell him "Asperger's dear" and he knows to drop it. Previously he had major issues at work, unable to move up from offending people. He's learning to hold his tongue, pick his battles, that kind of thing, and is starting to majorly improve his position at work. He's had past supervisors that cycled back to him and have told him, "Wow, you have really grown a LOT!" so it's working.

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Boy I used to watch was like this. There's something wrong but it doesn't fit anything I know about. But it's definitely something. Finally his mom and I got to talking one day and she told me his birth story--there were complications during birth and he was probably oxygen deprived. My personal theory is that he's got some mild damage from that.

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What are you seeing that made you think Asperger's? Like Angelsj said, AS can look very different in girls and most of us who responded have sons or dc boys with AS. If you haven't already, you may want to google "Asperger's in girls" to see what is said. Here's one link I found: http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/g...gers-syndrome/

My dd has a some characteristics that point to AS. Unfortunately, when she was younger, I didn't realize how different the characteristics can look in girls. At this point, it's probably not worth pushing for a diagnosis for her but while I was the one who called it when it came to my son, I feel I really missed the boat when it came to my dd.

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Interesting article. She does display a few of the traits according to the article. She mimics her sisters mannerisms for sure. She also can sit and star at someome, or stare into space for hours. She is intelligent, but very socially awkward. Her sister is completely normal.

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I have a dd who is 18 and going into her fourth year of college in the fall. As someone said, every child is different, but some traits are common. She spoke very early (full sentence at 10 months---in both French and English) and today speaks six languages fluently. She knows how to treat people..intellectually. She really doesn't care, but is aware of rules and social norms and follows them religiously.
I also have a dcg on the spectrum. She did not speak at all until she was almost three, and then rapidly ramped up to the typical "pedantic" speech of the Aspie. She is also repetitive and random. "How was school?" "I like han."
"R, did you know I like ham?" "K, I like ham." etc.
She is less aware of social norms, but asks. "Is this funny?" "Am I sad?" "Are you angry?" For the record, she also remembers all the Spanish she has ever heard.

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Our sons are similar. I have one to add fine motor skills off.

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