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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Disciplining Kids In Front Of Parents
LeslieG 11:24 AM 05-10-2013
Do any of you have to discipline kids in front of parents?
I have a parent who comes to pick up right after lunch everyday and it's like as soon as she steps foot in the door the kids think all rules are thrown out the window. They'll start running around everywhere (which I don't allow running inside), get super crazy and wild, and start spitting at each other and sometimes the parent!! Ahh, it drives me nuts because they SO know better, especially the 3 year old.
With that being said, I know that they do this when this parent comes because they know I'm not going to do anything and that they can get away with it. So I am taking the blame for it... but I feel so uncomfortable having to discipline kids in front of parents. I know I just need to get over it and start doing it!
What is your experience with having to discipline kids in front of parents?
I have a parent who comes to pick up right after lunch everyday and it's like as soon as she steps foot in the door the kids think all rules are thrown out the window. They'll start running around everywhere (which I don't allow running inside), get super crazy and wild, and start spitting at each other and sometimes the parent!! Ahh, it drives me nuts because they SO know better, especially the 3 year old.
With that being said, I know that they do this when this parent comes because they know I'm not going to do anything and that they can get away with it. So I am taking the blame for it... but I feel so uncomfortable having to discipline kids in front of parents. I know I just need to get over it and start doing it!
What is your experience with having to discipline kids in front of parents?
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:29 AM 05-10-2013
I used to care about "offending" but when a parent won't take control then I sure as heck will.
Now, I REALLY don't care how a parent feels about it if they are letting their child break rules upon hearing me remind their child what the rule is. I will, and have, make a parent wait for their child while their child sits in time out.
Now, I REALLY don't care how a parent feels about it if they are letting their child break rules upon hearing me remind their child what the rule is. I will, and have, make a parent wait for their child while their child sits in time out.
Cradle2crayons 11:30 AM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I used to care about "offending" but when a parent won't take control then I sure as heck will.
Now, I REALLY don't care how a parent feels about it if they are letting their child break rules upon hearing me remind their child what the rule is. I will, and have, make a parent wait for their child while their child sits in time out.
I used to care about "offending" but when a parent won't take control then I sure as heck will.
Now, I REALLY don't care how a parent feels about it if they are letting their child break rules upon hearing me remind their child what the rule is. I will, and have, make a parent wait for their child while their child sits in time out.
same here!!!!
butterfly 11:30 AM 05-10-2013
I don't play that game! I discipline infront of parents. I will not have a child rule the roost just because a parent showed up. I even tell the child infront of the parent that they can't act this way just because mom or dad is there. I think parents are afraid to discipline in front of me, so I'm certainly not going to be afraid to discipline in front of them or I'll have a house full of monsters every time a parent comes to pick up or drop off.
There have even been times where I've put a child in time out (time outs are very rare here) and I've told the child that mom and dad will have to wait until your time out is done. I make them sit and then they have to talk to me about the behavior AND apoligize before they leave.
There have even been times where I've put a child in time out (time outs are very rare here) and I've told the child that mom and dad will have to wait until your time out is done. I make them sit and then they have to talk to me about the behavior AND apoligize before they leave.
Michelle 11:33 AM 05-10-2013
If you know when she is coming everyday, have a special activity planned for that time.. coloring, painting, play dough.. whatever and tell them whoever is misbehaving will go straight to nap time.
not sure if you meant all the kids or just her kids
if it's just her kids... I would discipline in front of her if she won't
not sure if you meant all the kids or just her kids
if it's just her kids... I would discipline in front of her if she won't
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:34 AM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I don't play that game! I discipline infront of parents. I will not have a child rule the roost just because a parent showed up. I even tell the child infront of the parent that they can't act this way just because mom or dad is there. I think parents are afraid to discipline in front of me, so I'm certainly not going to be afraid to discipline in front of them or I'll have a house full of monsters every time a parent comes to pick up or drop off.
There have even been times where I've put a child in time out (time outs are very rare here) and I've told the child that mom and dad will have to wait until your time out is done. I make them sit and then they have to talk to me about the behavior AND apoligize before they leave.
Time outs are pretty rare here too and not the first thing I would go to during the normal school day, BUT I really can't redirect them to another activity when it is time to go home. I don't play that game! I discipline infront of parents. I will not have a child rule the roost just because a parent showed up. I even tell the child infront of the parent that they can't act this way just because mom or dad is there. I think parents are afraid to discipline in front of me, so I'm certainly not going to be afraid to discipline in front of them or I'll have a house full of monsters every time a parent comes to pick up or drop off.
There have even been times where I've put a child in time out (time outs are very rare here) and I've told the child that mom and dad will have to wait until your time out is done. I make them sit and then they have to talk to me about the behavior AND apoligize before they leave.
Is it the parent who is picking up's child who is misbehaving or EVERY child?
nannyde 11:35 AM 05-10-2013
I discipline in front of the parent. I'm not any different when the parent is here than when they aren't. I use the same voice, same prompts, same expectations.
If the parent doesn't like it then this won't work. I don't have door drama because I put a nix on even the slightest misbehavior from the time they CAN misbehave.
I DO tell the parents at the interviews that I discipline the kids in front of them so they know before they sign on.
If the parent doesn't like it then this won't work. I don't have door drama because I put a nix on even the slightest misbehavior from the time they CAN misbehave.
I DO tell the parents at the interviews that I discipline the kids in front of them so they know before they sign on.
MarinaVanessa 11:35 AM 05-10-2013
Personally I believe that they behave that way BECAUSE you aren't disciplining them. They have at one point tested the boundaries and nothing happened so now they know they can get away with it. I would deffinetely step in. Before this DCM arrives I'd have all of the kids sit down and do something quiet but together like read a story and remind them that NO ONE gets up, NO ONE, unless you say so. Then sit closest to the door to block any kids that get up.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:37 AM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Personally I believe that they behave that way BECAUSE you aren't disciplining them. They have at one point tested the boundaries and nothing happened so now they know they can get away with it. I would deffinetely step in. Before this DCM arrives I'd have all of the kids sit down and do something quiet but together like read a story and remind them that NO ONE gets up, NO ONE, unless you say so. Then sit closest to the door to block any kids that get up.
Personally I believe that they behave that way BECAUSE you aren't disciplining them. They have at one point tested the boundaries and nothing happened so now they know they can get away with it. I would deffinetely step in. Before this DCM arrives I'd have all of the kids sit down and do something quiet but together like read a story and remind them that NO ONE gets up, NO ONE, unless you say so. Then sit closest to the door to block any kids that get up.
I do this during pick up time.
LeslieG 11:37 AM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Time outs are pretty rare here too and not the first thing I would go to during the normal school day, BUT I really can't redirect them to another activity when it is time to go home.
Is it the parent who is picking up's child who is misbehaving or EVERY child?
It is every child, not just this parent's child.Time outs are pretty rare here too and not the first thing I would go to during the normal school day, BUT I really can't redirect them to another activity when it is time to go home.
Is it the parent who is picking up's child who is misbehaving or EVERY child?
daycare 11:40 AM 05-10-2013
I have no problem taking control.
I will remind the PARENT, please control your child's behavior at pick up. All parents are expected to back all rules of the DC> When they don't, they are some what telling their child that the rules don't apply when mommy or daddy are there to pick up.
I will say something to the child too. "Just because mom or dad are here, does not mean that you don't have to follow the rules any more. Please listen to your parents words or I will ask them to go outside so that you can sit in time out.' I dont mess around.
I also have contracted hours, so I know what time children will be picked up and then I have less of an issue with this. The child is all ready to go and all the parent has to do is sign out and leave. Same with pick up. Drop and go
I will remind the PARENT, please control your child's behavior at pick up. All parents are expected to back all rules of the DC> When they don't, they are some what telling their child that the rules don't apply when mommy or daddy are there to pick up.
I will say something to the child too. "Just because mom or dad are here, does not mean that you don't have to follow the rules any more. Please listen to your parents words or I will ask them to go outside so that you can sit in time out.' I dont mess around.
I also have contracted hours, so I know what time children will be picked up and then I have less of an issue with this. The child is all ready to go and all the parent has to do is sign out and leave. Same with pick up. Drop and go
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:45 AM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by LeslieG:
It is every child, not just this parent's child.
How old are the kids?It is every child, not just this parent's child.
LoraJenkins 11:50 AM 05-10-2013
I use to wait for parents to control their children at pick-up but got so tired of the children going completely nuts. So now, I have no problem at all enforcing my rules right in front of the parents. I am such a meanie
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:54 AM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by LoraJenkins:
I use to wait for parents to control their children at pick-up but got so tired of the children going completely nuts. So now, I have no problem at all enforcing my rules right in front of the parents. I am such a meanie
When I would wait for them to (...it never happened...) I'd have children jumping down my flight of stairs (children are NOT permitted to be on another level in my state, nor do they EVER go near the stairs), trying to climb in/on top of my expensive cubbies that are meant to hold backpacks and supplies, running into the street, etc. What a nightmare.I use to wait for parents to control their children at pick-up but got so tired of the children going completely nuts. So now, I have no problem at all enforcing my rules right in front of the parents. I am such a meanie
In the very beginning, I also wouldn't correct the other children if a parent came early until they left. Now I IMMEDIATELY correct inappropriate behavior, no matter who is here. The children have completely changed since the point that I began doing that. We also review the rules on a regular basis discussing how we behave when other people are here, what happens if we don't, and how we should act with our own parent at pick up.
LeslieG 11:55 AM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
How old are the kids?
The kids are 2 and 3 years old.How old are the kids?
2grls4us 11:57 AM 05-10-2013
I deal with this on a daily basis. I try and look at things from a different perspective. I will ask the kids to settle down or will put them in time out if needed. I want the parents to know I do see everything going on and have control of the situation. They have hired me to keep thier children safe, teach them and really take their place while they are not available. These children are with me 40-50 hours a week. I do not treat them any differently than I do my own children and my daycare parents are all okay with that.
I do feel out of place when the mom's come to pick up and their own children start misbehaving. But when I've told them all day to not jump on the couch and as soon as mom sits down on the couch the child starts jumping. I'm not going to just let them the rules. The mom's want me to continue the rules when they are there and not. My first pick up is at 4:30 so by this time they have had a full nap, snack, ready to be picked up and at home with thier own parents. They go "crazy" as soon as she gets here because they know thier mom's come next. I have even said to this mom several times that I feel like I'm always getting on to the kids when she comes. That she gets to see the worse of the day for the kids and me. She understands. However I have 2 dkg that are not yet 2 yrs, the dkb she's picking up is 15 mos and my own is not yet 3. One of the girls is so small she can climb through this mom's legs and does, the other one is fasinated by her nail polish and shoes. So they almost attack her as she walks in. They are like this for drop off and pick ups.
You may say something like " Please excuse me I need to get the others settled down. I don't know why they think the rules don't apply when a parent is present."
I do feel out of place when the mom's come to pick up and their own children start misbehaving. But when I've told them all day to not jump on the couch and as soon as mom sits down on the couch the child starts jumping. I'm not going to just let them the rules. The mom's want me to continue the rules when they are there and not. My first pick up is at 4:30 so by this time they have had a full nap, snack, ready to be picked up and at home with thier own parents. They go "crazy" as soon as she gets here because they know thier mom's come next. I have even said to this mom several times that I feel like I'm always getting on to the kids when she comes. That she gets to see the worse of the day for the kids and me. She understands. However I have 2 dkg that are not yet 2 yrs, the dkb she's picking up is 15 mos and my own is not yet 3. One of the girls is so small she can climb through this mom's legs and does, the other one is fasinated by her nail polish and shoes. So they almost attack her as she walks in. They are like this for drop off and pick ups.
You may say something like " Please excuse me I need to get the others settled down. I don't know why they think the rules don't apply when a parent is present."
LeslieG 11:58 AM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
When I would wait for them to (...it never happened...) I'd have children jumping down my flight of stairs (children are NOT permitted to be on another level in my state, nor do they EVER go near the stairs), trying to climb in/on top of my expensive cubbies that are meant to hold backpacks and supplies, running into the street, etc. What a nightmare.
In the very beginning, I also wouldn't correct the other children if a parent came early until they left. Now I IMMEDIATELY correct inappropriate behavior, no matter who is here. The children have completely changed since the point that I began doing that. We also review the rules on a regular basis discussing how we behave when other people are here, what happens if we don't, and how we should act with our own parent at pick up.
This sounds pretty similar to what happens here. I'm a fairly new provider, so I'm still trying to figure things out and am learning the hard way. i'm sure I'll look back at this and be like "What was I thinking??" When I would wait for them to (...it never happened...) I'd have children jumping down my flight of stairs (children are NOT permitted to be on another level in my state, nor do they EVER go near the stairs), trying to climb in/on top of my expensive cubbies that are meant to hold backpacks and supplies, running into the street, etc. What a nightmare.
In the very beginning, I also wouldn't correct the other children if a parent came early until they left. Now I IMMEDIATELY correct inappropriate behavior, no matter who is here. The children have completely changed since the point that I began doing that. We also review the rules on a regular basis discussing how we behave when other people are here, what happens if we don't, and how we should act with our own parent at pick up.
Starting Monday things are changing!!
Blackcat31 12:08 PM 05-10-2013
I don't usually discipline a child when their parent is present because it is my personal belief that the parent needs to be the primary authority over their child and this includes while other authority-figures are present.
I will ask a parent to have their child stop doing this or that or to comply with the rules. If the child does not listen to the parent, I will simply tell them it is time to go.
I make it VERY clear to parents when interviewing that I expect them to step up and be a parent while in my presence.
I will not be the first or last non-related person that will be an authority figure to a child so expecting the parent to step up and parent when in my presence is "practice" for all the other times this scenario will occur.
If behaviors get so out of hand that pick up and drop off is tough to manage, I will help guide the parent or set up a time we can get together and talk strategies for getting their child to listen/behave more positively.
I will ask a parent to have their child stop doing this or that or to comply with the rules. If the child does not listen to the parent, I will simply tell them it is time to go.
I make it VERY clear to parents when interviewing that I expect them to step up and be a parent while in my presence.
I will not be the first or last non-related person that will be an authority figure to a child so expecting the parent to step up and parent when in my presence is "practice" for all the other times this scenario will occur.
If behaviors get so out of hand that pick up and drop off is tough to manage, I will help guide the parent or set up a time we can get together and talk strategies for getting their child to listen/behave more positively.
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:17 PM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't usually discipline a child when their parent is present because it is my personal belief that the parent needs to be the primary authority over their child and this includes while other authority-figures are present.
I will ask a parent to have their child stop doing this or that or to comply with the rules. If the child does not listen to the parent, I will simply tell them it is time to go.
I make it VERY clear to parents when interviewing that I expect them to step up and be a parent while in my presence.
I will not be the first or last non-related person that will be an authority figure to a child so expecting the parent to step up and parent when in my presence is "practice" for all the other times this scenario will occur.
If behaviors get so out of hand that pick up and drop off is tough to manage, I will help guide the parent or set up a time we can get together and talk strategies for getting their child to listen/behave more positively.
If I did that with the clients who have had children misbehave, they would always be asked to leave. I don't usually discipline a child when their parent is present because it is my personal belief that the parent needs to be the primary authority over their child and this includes while other authority-figures are present.
I will ask a parent to have their child stop doing this or that or to comply with the rules. If the child does not listen to the parent, I will simply tell them it is time to go.
I make it VERY clear to parents when interviewing that I expect them to step up and be a parent while in my presence.
I will not be the first or last non-related person that will be an authority figure to a child so expecting the parent to step up and parent when in my presence is "practice" for all the other times this scenario will occur.
If behaviors get so out of hand that pick up and drop off is tough to manage, I will help guide the parent or set up a time we can get together and talk strategies for getting their child to listen/behave more positively.
The parents have absolutely no idea how to get their child to comply with what they'd like/what they know the rules here to be. I've witnessed them attempt to and it appears as though they are SCARED of the child and don't want to upset them. The best they can come up with to GET their child to listen is to say, "Does Ms. ___ need to put you in time out?" I once had a child slap me and grab me with their arm to scratch my arm (almost 3-year-old, for no reason at all) to which I gave a stern, "No. We do NOT hurt Ms. ___." The child began crying and the Mom said, "Oh no, ___! I'm so sorry you're sad. Let's go and make it all better."
As for the children being 2 and 3? They are more than old enough to know what they are doing. I have children here between the ages of 2-5 and they do not misbehave on a regular basis any longer. Even the child that is redirected ALL day long and has no impulse control whatsoever.
Blackcat31 12:29 PM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
If I did that with the clients who have had children misbehave, they would always be asked to leave. The parents have absolutely no idea how to get their child to comply with what they'd like/what they know the rules here to be. I've witnessed them attempt to and it appears as though they are SCARED of the child and don't want to upset them. The best they can come up with to GET their child to listen is to say, "Does Ms. ___ need to put you in time out?"
See I don't like that (Bolded above) because it makes ME always have to be the bad guy. If I did that with the clients who have had children misbehave, they would always be asked to leave.
The parents have absolutely no idea how to get their child to comply with what they'd like/what they know the rules here to be. I've witnessed them attempt to and it appears as though they are SCARED of the child and don't want to upset them. The best they can come up with to GET their child to listen is to say, "Does Ms. ___ need to put you in time out?" 
I can see it now.....Child is in Target on a Saturday with their parent.
Child misbehaves
Parent says "Do you want me to drive you over to Miss C's house so she can put you in a time out?"
Uh uh, no way.
I don't want to be THAT person to a child.
I want children to listen to their parents and I am perfecting willing to help, guide, coach and/or assist a parent in being the authority but I won't be the ONLY authority and I won't devote my time and patience to a parent who resorts back to only doing what's easiest at the moment.
Leigh 12:48 PM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by LeslieG:
Do any of you have to discipline kids in front of parents?
I have a parent who comes to pick up right after lunch everyday and it's like as soon as she steps foot in the door the kids think all rules are thrown out the window. They'll start running around everywhere (which I don't allow running inside), get super crazy and wild, and start spitting at each other and sometimes the parent!! Ahh, it drives me nuts because they SO know better, especially the 3 year old.
With that being said, I know that they do this when this parent comes because they know I'm not going to do anything and that they can get away with it. So I am taking the blame for it... but I feel so uncomfortable having to discipline kids in front of parents. I know I just need to get over it and start doing it!
What is your experience with having to discipline kids in front of parents?
It took about 3 weeks before I realized that parents NEVER parent their children until they pull out of my driveway. While they are still here, it's still MY job. VERY sad.Do any of you have to discipline kids in front of parents?
I have a parent who comes to pick up right after lunch everyday and it's like as soon as she steps foot in the door the kids think all rules are thrown out the window. They'll start running around everywhere (which I don't allow running inside), get super crazy and wild, and start spitting at each other and sometimes the parent!! Ahh, it drives me nuts because they SO know better, especially the 3 year old.
With that being said, I know that they do this when this parent comes because they know I'm not going to do anything and that they can get away with it. So I am taking the blame for it... but I feel so uncomfortable having to discipline kids in front of parents. I know I just need to get over it and start doing it!
What is your experience with having to discipline kids in front of parents?
canadiancare 02:40 PM 05-10-2013
One of my soon to be 3 year olds begins breaking my rules and refuses to go home when his parents come. Today I "snapped" and said"this is not an option, dad is here, time to go." He proceeded to do jello body and refuse to walk to the door. I picked him up, handed him to dad and said "have a nice weekend"
daycare 02:52 PM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
See I don't like that (Bolded above) because it makes ME always have to be the bad guy.
I can see it now.....Child is in Target on a Saturday with their parent.
Child misbehaves
Parent says "Do you want me to drive you over to Miss C's house so she can put you in a time out?"
Uh uh, no way.
I don't want to be THAT person to a child.
I want children to listen to their parents and I am perfecting willing to help, guide, coach and/or assist a parent in being the authority but I won't be the ONLY authority and I won't devote my time and patience to a parent who resorts back to only doing what's easiest at the moment.
I have a family that does this to me all the time....Because the child is an angle here and not at home. ANy time there is an issue, they say do you want me to call your teacher??See I don't like that (Bolded above) because it makes ME always have to be the bad guy.
I can see it now.....Child is in Target on a Saturday with their parent.
Child misbehaves
Parent says "Do you want me to drive you over to Miss C's house so she can put you in a time out?"
Uh uh, no way.
I don't want to be THAT person to a child.
I want children to listen to their parents and I am perfecting willing to help, guide, coach and/or assist a parent in being the authority but I won't be the ONLY authority and I won't devote my time and patience to a parent who resorts back to only doing what's easiest at the moment.
When they told me that I was mad. I said please do use me as a threat towards your child. it's not fair.
rmc20021 04:29 PM 05-10-2013
I discipline no matter who comes to my door when kids act up when someone arrives.
I'm also a licensed foster parent so there are caseworkers and others related to foster care in and out of my house often. I will stop what I am doing with a caseworker in order to discipline a child as needed.
I also make it very clear to the kids that if they misbehave when someone arrives, even if it's their parent at pickup that they will have time out if needed. And I also have a 'boundary' the kids cannot cross except the one's who are leaving at the time so they aren't all surrounding parents as they are trying to pickup their child.
I'm also a licensed foster parent so there are caseworkers and others related to foster care in and out of my house often. I will stop what I am doing with a caseworker in order to discipline a child as needed.
I also make it very clear to the kids that if they misbehave when someone arrives, even if it's their parent at pickup that they will have time out if needed. And I also have a 'boundary' the kids cannot cross except the one's who are leaving at the time so they aren't all surrounding parents as they are trying to pickup their child.
LoraJenkins 04:46 PM 05-10-2013
[quote=rmc20021;352411]I will stop what I am doing with a caseworker in order to discipline a child as needed. QUOTE]
I had this sort of thing happen recently. A New DCM was dropping off her son for the first time when my two 4yr old DCKs decided it was time to start RUNNING through the house. This is a big pet peeve of mine so I asked DCM to hold on just a moment (we were talking), and called both children over to me. I bent down to their level and asked them "what is the rule about running"? They both answered "running is for outside, inside we use walking feet". I then told them both to go to time out. They both sat down, without a peep, and the new DCM just looked puzzled and asked "how did you do that"? I told her consistency. Lol. Little did I know her son had NO rules whatsoever...we are still working on that...lol
I had this sort of thing happen recently. A New DCM was dropping off her son for the first time when my two 4yr old DCKs decided it was time to start RUNNING through the house. This is a big pet peeve of mine so I asked DCM to hold on just a moment (we were talking), and called both children over to me. I bent down to their level and asked them "what is the rule about running"? They both answered "running is for outside, inside we use walking feet". I then told them both to go to time out. They both sat down, without a peep, and the new DCM just looked puzzled and asked "how did you do that"? I told her consistency. Lol. Little did I know her son had NO rules whatsoever...we are still working on that...lol
melilley 05:22 PM 05-10-2013
I had to do this just today! I have a 20 mo old dcb who kicks, hits, pulls hair and bites often. Well he pulled hair right in front of another dcm. I had to redirect him and he screamed and cried forever. I finally had to walk him over to a spot in the room and have him sit to calm down because I couldn't even hear the parent talking to me. It was embarrassing!
LoraJenkins 07:02 PM 05-10-2013
Double post
EntropyControlSpecialist 07:04 PM 05-10-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
See I don't like that (Bolded above) because it makes ME always have to be the bad guy.
I can see it now.....Child is in Target on a Saturday with their parent.
Child misbehaves
Parent says "Do you want me to drive you over to Miss C's house so she can put you in a time out?"
Uh uh, no way.
I don't want to be THAT person to a child.
I want children to listen to their parents and I am perfecting willing to help, guide, coach and/or assist a parent in being the authority but I won't be the ONLY authority and I won't devote my time and patience to a parent who resorts back to only doing what's easiest at the moment.
I can totally see your side, it just wouldn't fly here. I WISH it would since I really believe in people being in control of themselves and their children. See I don't like that (Bolded above) because it makes ME always have to be the bad guy.
I can see it now.....Child is in Target on a Saturday with their parent.
Child misbehaves
Parent says "Do you want me to drive you over to Miss C's house so she can put you in a time out?"
Uh uh, no way.
I don't want to be THAT person to a child.
I want children to listen to their parents and I am perfecting willing to help, guide, coach and/or assist a parent in being the authority but I won't be the ONLY authority and I won't devote my time and patience to a parent who resorts back to only doing what's easiest at the moment.
If I had more time I would type out the crazy scenarios that happened when I was telling kids to "Listen to Mom, please!" and let parents handle things. I know I did not handle the situation as you do exactly, or possibly even close, but it was just madness. Pure madness. The entryway (cubbies and sign in desk), my front porch with plants, my garden, and my lawn looked ... fantastic.
Bookworm 07:56 PM 05-10-2013
I have no problem with disciplining children in front of parents, including that parent's own child. My kids are not allowed to approach any incoming /outgoing parents. Lately, I've been noticing that several parents WANT us to discipline their kids in front of them when they drop off or pickup because they don't want to be the bad guy. This usually brings up the question of "Why don't they listen at home the way the do here?"
Example, there is a DCG who usually leaves when I do. Mom tells her it's time to go and DCG runs around hugging her friends for about ten minutes. DCM won't make DCG leave so we have to escort DCG to the car. Mom loves this because she doesn't have to deal with it and it makes US the bad guys and not her.
Example, there is a DCG who usually leaves when I do. Mom tells her it's time to go and DCG runs around hugging her friends for about ten minutes. DCM won't make DCG leave so we have to escort DCG to the car. Mom loves this because she doesn't have to deal with it and it makes US the bad guys and not her.
Unregistered 07:48 AM 05-11-2013
If it's EVERY child I fall back on an easy game we play sometimes when things get crazy. The "find it" game. "Okay kids, go find me something... blue!"
They all love it and it keeps them occupied, plus it helps them work their sillies out. They know the game well enough to know that after I've OK'd their item, they have to put it back.
They all love it and it keeps them occupied, plus it helps them work their sillies out. They know the game well enough to know that after I've OK'd their item, they have to put it back.
Starburst 10:06 AM 05-11-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I discipline in front of the parent. I'm not any different when the parent is here than when they aren't. I use the same voice, same prompts, same expectations.
If the parent doesn't like it then this won't work. I don't have door drama because I put a nix on even the slightest misbehavior from the time they CAN misbehave.
I DO tell the parents at the interviews that I discipline the kids in front of them so they know before they sign on.
I discipline in front of the parent. I'm not any different when the parent is here than when they aren't. I use the same voice, same prompts, same expectations.
If the parent doesn't like it then this won't work. I don't have door drama because I put a nix on even the slightest misbehavior from the time they CAN misbehave.
I DO tell the parents at the interviews that I discipline the kids in front of them so they know before they sign on.
They (both the kids and the parents) need to remember that this is YOUR house and that kind of behavior is not allowed at your house. How long does pick up take? Maybe they act up because they think the longer they make a scene the longer they get to stay. But they need to know that if they act like that they are not welcome to stay longer. Do you have any transitional time before pick up? Like making sure that their shoes are on and their things are together? Try doing a quick send off where when mom shows up they are ready and just go out the door with mom (see Nannyde's "Buh-bye outside"). If they act up tell them "I don't allow that at my house, people who act like that will not be welcome here."
Also does your policies say anything about "While the parents are on daycare property, the child's behavior and actions are the parents responsibility until they leave the daycare property. The provider reserves the right to intervene if the child's behavior is in any way inappropriate or risks the health or overall well-being of others present in the child care home."
originalkat 06:29 AM 05-13-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I discipline in front of the parent. I'm not any different when the parent is here than when they aren't. I use the same voice, same prompts, same expectations.
If the parent doesn't like it then this won't work. I don't have door drama because I put a nix on even the slightest misbehavior from the time they CAN misbehave.
I DO tell the parents at the interviews that I discipline the kids in front of them so they know before they sign on.
I discipline in front of the parent. I'm not any different when the parent is here than when they aren't. I use the same voice, same prompts, same expectations.
If the parent doesn't like it then this won't work. I don't have door drama because I put a nix on even the slightest misbehavior from the time they CAN misbehave.
I DO tell the parents at the interviews that I discipline the kids in front of them so they know before they sign on.
This is me too.