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STEAMIN MAD MOMS 07:36 AM 05-20-2014
So, myself and several other parents pay our DCP in advance.
Lately, she's been calling off a little more, and last week was sick so all of us needed backup care. She ended up watching some kids the day she called off, since not all the parents received her message, but still. I get she was sick, however, it's like 3x per month!

So I haven't been thrilled with this.

YESTERDAY!
OMG

Myself and ALL the other school-ager daycare moms got a phone call from their schools (this person picks up and drops off kids as part of her program from multiple schools). One mom, NO one picks up the kids. The other moms, some weird guy, NOT on the kid's list is reported to try to pick up the kids on the dcp behalf! Of course none of the kids, to my knowledge, went with the man. The school did not release any of the children.

NO one can reach the DCP or her substitutes. When one of the DCM's went to pick up her child, she said a stranger was watching the kids that she'd never seen or heard of, and DCP was nowhere to be found, and no one could explain what was going on.

THIS MORNING:
Only a couple DCM's got a text stating that a month ago, the DCP broke her neck, and she was having neck pain and landed in the ER. She is home today. She said she would be taking the week off.

BUT,
Most of us do NOT want to bring our kids back after this. #1. SOMEONE should have contacted us or the schools to let us know she was going to the ER to give us opportunity to utilize backup care #2. SOMEONE should have let us know they had a backup that would pick up the kids, so we could have the opportunity to clear that and let the school allow for pickup #3. SOMEONE should have NOT left that other lady's children at the school and NO one called her except the school! #4 IF there was a sub, that we didn't know, someone should have told us! #5. SOMEONE should have texted or had someone phone on their behalf, that there was a problem. I am A VERY understanding parent, so is the other one (a former DCP herself), but I don't believe that this woman broke her neck a month ago. If this had happened, why wouldn't she have taken THAT time off, or told anyone til today? WTH??

We are all now wondering:
1. Do we have the right to report to CPS the fact she failed to pick up 3 children, and also failed to pick up the other kids, and instead sent an unknown person in her place? 2. Do we have the right to request a refund since she has been out of contact with most of us just 2 parents got the text and one parent replied to all, and so that's how we got into contact w/ each other and found out that NONE of the kids from any of the schools were properly picked up, and clearly has decided to cease care without notice? 3. How would you go about it. 2 parents want to go knock on the door and request the refund later today and if she refuses, we may need to all go to court.

I and the other moms are so P*ED off that she was this irresponsible. We get if an emergency happens, things need to be changed, but NO one to communicate? She has a son and daughter that easily could have called the parents on the list. Heck, her SUB could have too!
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drseuss 07:47 AM 05-20-2014
Is this a regulated daycare, and do you have a contract?
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STEAMIN MA MOMS 07:52 AM 05-20-2014
Yes and yes. She is licensed in the state of CO, and we do all have contracts. The contracts do specify notices on all ends (2 weeks for us, 2 weeks for provider UNLESS she terms for nonpay or behavior), and promise safe, quality care. We do not feel her actions yesterday, gave us safe, quality care and even if there were an emergency, she still didn't contact most of us even today, nothing. So far, ALL of the parents have stated they were ALL caught up on payments, which is probably correct as she does not take checks or payments after services are rendered. But I did ask, so that way I don't look stupid if someone didn't pay and we all end up being part of a court case. But I think the worst of it is, she left our kids unattended! Thankfully, most of the kids did know where to go if their pickup person didn't show. (Or the WRONG pickup person)
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NightOwl 08:03 AM 05-20-2014
Absolutely report. That's child abandonment, and an extreme case of lacking communication. SHE is in breech of contract, not you guys.
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Play Care 08:06 AM 05-20-2014
Wow. So much wrong. I would report to licensing at the very least.
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Second Home 08:26 AM 05-20-2014
I am happy that the school was on top of the situation and did not release the children to an unauthorized person and that all the kids are safe .

Sorry you are all going through this . I would contact the agency in charge of regulating child care in your state . Here it is under the dept of education .
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Soccermom 09:25 AM 05-20-2014
Wow.....just wow. I could understand all the confusion if DCP had an accident THAT day and was sent injured to the ER but the fact that this happened a month ago makes no sense.

I would certainly be calling licensing about the issue, terminating my contract and demanding my money back. Depending on your signed agreement, she may have the right to not return funds if you choose to term but you could take the matter to small claims court and let them decide what is fair.

Childcare is a huge responsibility and it sounds like this DCP is not prepared for it.
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TwinKristi 09:32 AM 05-20-2014
I agree that she should be reported to licensing/CPS or whoever. That's crazy!! Not all providers are like this, I promise!

Sorry you all are going through this.
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Sugar Magnolia 09:47 AM 05-20-2014
Did you leave your child with her today? If not, super, but if you did, GO PICK UP and do NOT RETURN! Worry about your money later,.safety first. This is a very unsafe situation. IF this "stranger" does not have a background check on file, this is a MAJOR.VIOLATION. REPORT..IMMEDIATELY.
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Unregistered 09:55 AM 05-20-2014
FINALLY got in touch with her.
She said that her father was the "strange" man and that she was pretty sure all the kids have met him before. I said "Mine haven't and even if they did, he was not put on the list, so not only would the school not have known that he should pick up, they wouldn't have even let him. Additionally, he wasn't ever mentioned as a back up provider at all, so still, there was a LOT of confusion> She said she injured her neck a month or so ago, and was told of symptoms that can occur that mimic an emergency or a heart attack, so that's why she was transported to the hospital. She said the dad didn't know WHERE to go, and got lost, didn't have the list of the kids parent's #'s and wasn't sure exactly what to do. She said it all got screwed up. Said she's losing her families now, and she admitted her fault. She said she would have a new system put into place to prevent any future issues and understands if everyone leaves, why they did it, but for future families she would have a system in place to avoid confusion. The thing Is, yesterday, our area had an attempted kidnapping and so this has heightened all our anxiety! This is exactly why we hire someone to be able to get our kids safely, and do not allow kids to go with unknown persons. She said she understood that and stated that anyone who stays, she would intro all the kids to anyone who might possibly have to pick them up in an emergency. She stated in 10 years, she's never had this problem. She said the call-off's have had to do with some other issue with pain and illness that the kids bring in from time to time, and that she has been feeling a lot better and would not feel the need to call off unless serious.

IDK but I just cannot fathom the kids alone. What if that abductor was watching and waiting for this very type of situation?
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craftymissbeth 09:57 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Did you leave your child with her today? If not, super, but if you did, GO PICK UP and do NOT RETURN! Worry about your money later,.safety first. This is a very unsafe situation. IF this "stranger" does not have a background check on file, this is a MAJOR.VIOLATION. REPORT..IMMEDIATELY.


And if you did happen to leave your child there today that may affect your outcome should you go to court over this.

Sorry you guys are going through this. Like a PP said, we're definitely not all like her!
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STEAMIN MAD MOMS 09:57 AM 05-20-2014
No, our kids are still in school right now. I am home the rest of the week.
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Leigh 10:04 AM 05-20-2014
Obviously, my opinion is not the popular one here, but if she had a true emergency, I'd cut her a break. It sounds like she TRIED to get things covered, and obviously did not have time to call each parent. I'm sure that her dad told her not to worry about it, and offered to handle things for her.

She now is aware that she needs to plan better and have an emergency binder with contact information and instructions for what needs to be done.

I can understand the parents' point of view, for sure, but I also know that in an emergency situation, chaos can erupt.

Whether you decide to pull your children or not is up to you, and no one could fault you either way, but it doesn't sound like negligence or malicious behavior, just an emergency situation that fell apart.
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Play Care 11:02 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Obviously, my opinion is not the popular one here, but if she had a true emergency, I'd cut her a break. It sounds like she TRIED to get things covered, and obviously did not have time to call each parent. I'm sure that her dad told her not to worry about it, and offered to handle things for her.

She now is aware that she needs to plan better and have an emergency binder with contact information and instructions for what needs to be done.

I can understand the parents' point of view, for sure, but I also know that in an emergency situation, chaos can erupt.

Whether you decide to pull your children or not is up to you, and no one could fault you either way, but it doesn't sound like negligence or malicious behavior, just an emergency situation that fell apart.
I just saw the update which I think explained things better. That said it sounds as if these families need a new provider (as they were having issues before this) and the provider needs to come up with a better back up plan for emergencies.
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butterfly 11:14 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Obviously, my opinion is not the popular one here, but if she had a true emergency, I'd cut her a break. It sounds like she TRIED to get things covered, and obviously did not have time to call each parent. I'm sure that her dad told her not to worry about it, and offered to handle things for her.

She now is aware that she needs to plan better and have an emergency binder with contact information and instructions for what needs to be done.

I can understand the parents' point of view, for sure, but I also know that in an emergency situation, chaos can erupt.

Whether you decide to pull your children or not is up to you, and no one could fault you either way, but it doesn't sound like negligence or malicious behavior, just an emergency situation that fell apart.

I agree. And where was the communication at on your end OP? If all these things have been building up and you were so unhappy, why didn't you approach your daycare provider sooner? Why keep bringing your child to that daycare? I wouldn't have ever let it go on that long if I were that unhappy.
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Sugar Magnolia 11:20 AM 05-20-2014
I also read the update. Ok, emergencies DO HAPPEN, BUT.....if her father does not have a background check, it's still a major problem. And the communication breakdown does seem to fall on the provider. NO EXCUSE FOR NOT HAVING AN EMERGENCY PLAN, never ever.
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Play Care 11:33 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
I also read the update. Ok, emergencies DO HAPPEN, BUT.....if her father does not have a background check, it's still a major problem. And the communication breakdown does seem to fall on the provider. NO EXCUSE FOR NOT HAVING AN EMERGENCY PLAN, never ever.

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STEAMIN MAD MOMS 11:45 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I agree. And where was the communication at on your end OP? If all these things have been building up and you were so unhappy, why didn't you approach your daycare provider sooner? Why keep bringing your child to that daycare? I wouldn't have ever let it go on that long if I were that unhappy.
Oh, I hear you. I wasn't very happy with the call-off's. I had mentioned it to the provider a last week when some of us ended having to take another day off, and we talked through that --as far as ME and HER only, not the other parents, I do not know exactly the situation with them and her regarding the absence issue. As I stated, I wasn't thrilled, but we weren't opposed to working things out with her as that was the only issue we really had...Until yesterday.

I definitely tried to text, email, phone, facebook and even I drove by, as did the other moms. Some had their kids there and went to pick up. While the absences are seemingly excessive, it's not that alone that is 'concerning', inconvenient yes, but didn't raise any real red flags to lead me to believe that yesterday would ever happen. It's the complete lack of judgment in leaving kids unattended at school, or making sure someone could get to them in this case. I get emergencies happen, but I don't get not having a proper plan in place. That's just the part that blew our minds.


As far as background checks, the law states only people 18+ residing in the home need a background check. Here, you could pick your neighbor to be a backup in an emergency and not need a background check. She may very well have been within the law, but that still left a bunch of kids left alone after school. Some were kinders too.

None of the moms are very happy and most are leaving. My husband did say to maybe give her one last chance, but as a parent, you can see why we are all concerned about this. Now, summer isn't an issue, school's out this week, thankfully. But come August? What then? I'm afraid to hire ANYONE because a situation could happen like this again with ANYONE. Unfortunately, we're not in any real position for us--and I KNOW most of the other moms-- to be able to leave our jobs.
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craftymissbeth 11:59 AM 05-20-2014
When you specifically asked her before you enrolled your child in her care about her emergency plans, what did she say?
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Second Home 12:13 PM 05-20-2014
If the kids were not picked up at school like normal shouldn't the school call the parents?
I know that at our schools if a child is not picked up the school would begin calling their emergency contacts for pick up and not leave the child unattended .

Were these kids left alone at school or was the school watching them ?
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butterfly 12:28 PM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
When you specifically asked her before you enrolled your child in her care about her emergency plans, what did she say?


I keep coming back to see the OP's response...

I wish more parents would actually think to ask about this before there was a crisis situation. I've only ever had this question asked 1 time in my daycare career.
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STEAMIN MAD MOMS 12:29 PM 05-20-2014
I never asked specifically about the emergency procedures; she just went over them in the contract as part of our interview. She is a large center/home and so explained she had 2 helpers,, who we met, one always stays with the kids and the other can transport. Yesterday, however, it did not seem like one of the helpers was ever there (a girl) and IDK what happened w/ the other because the man that was there was not the other helper, from what the other non-school aged moms said.

The school is who alerted us. The kids usually meet outside, so they were alone for a bit til they went back to the office to say "Um, no one is here!" and then they called all our contacts, no one could be reached, so they called us to come get the kids. So we did. I believe the Kinders' moms said their contacts got called to get the kids and I don't believe at that other school, that kinder's are allowed to wait outside. I'm not sure. The other kids (1st and up) were outside waiting and eventually, each of the children/groups of children figured out no one was coming. At the school where the man showed, I believe 2 of the kids ran inito the school and told them a man was trying to pick up; he was not on the lists and so the school did not release them. The schools all kept the kids safe, thankfully.
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TwinKristi 12:35 PM 05-20-2014
But if her home is a licensed childcare SHE by law cannot leave them with an unlicensed person in her home. I can't hire a babysitter for my daycare kids while I go somewhere. They have to meet the same certifications I do.

As far as giving her another chance, no way. From personal experience, this will never be far from your mind and when it happens again you're the one left looking like a fool. There are other providers out there who don't do this.

I had an emergency last summer and was hospitalized mid-day and had to have my dh take over until kids could get picked up. I was texting parents from my hospital bed and texting my dh their numbers. He had all of them here on the roster and in their files but would have a harder time finding them then if I just texted them to him. It was not fun but I surely wasn't going to leave kids hanging at school if I had to get them. That's ridiculous!!
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craftymissbeth 12:44 PM 05-20-2014
Ok, this is what I think now that I've had time to think it over.

I think you need to find a new daycare and move on. There's really nothing to report to licensing... you yourself said that her dad as an emergency back-up isn't against any regulations. EXCEPT that we don't know if emergency back-ups are allowed to transport. That would be the one thing that I'm having an issue with. He didn't actually transport any daycare children, though, from what I'm reading. He just tried to.

No child in all of this was ever left alone. They were in the school's "possession" the entire time until the parents picked them up. In my area, no child 1st grade and under is ever left alone until they're picked up. There is at least one teacher or aide outside (and actually it's EVERY teacher. Every single teacher here waits for his/her student to get to their adult safely).

IDK, I think you just need to move on. It sounds like she had a plan in place, but the stuff hit the fan and it didn't work out the way she needed it to. If her neck was really broken and she's really in as severe pain as she's saying then I'm sure the last thing she's thinking about in the hospital is contacting everyone... because it looks like she thought this was going to all work out just fine with her dad helping.


Don't take your child back, I will say that much. But your decision has nothing to do with the other parents' decisions... I'm not sure why you're all banding together and trying to make decisions as a unit. You're not a unit... you're individual parents who need to make the best decision for your situation.
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craftymissbeth 12:49 PM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
But if her home is a licensed childcare SHE by law cannot leave them with an unlicensed person in her home. I can't hire a babysitter for my daycare kids while I go somewhere. They have to meet the same certifications I do.
I didn't catch what state OP is in, but here in Kansas we can in emergency situations. For example, my emergency plan (that is approved by licensing AND my dcp's) is to call all parents and whoever shows up first takes over while I go to the hospital. They wait until the next parent shows up and they can choose to stay in charge or they can hand the reigns over to the next person. I do only have two families at the moment and I do have a lot of trust in them as far as supervising for a short period of time.

(Just wanted to say that as my daycare grows I will be hiring an assistant, but they'll only be here part-time. If an emergency happened while they weren't here I would still need to follow the above policy)
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butterfly 12:50 PM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:

I'm not sure why you're all banding together and trying to make decisions as a unit. You're not a unit... you're individual parents who need to make the best decision for your situation.

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Heidi 12:50 PM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
I also read the update. Ok, emergencies DO HAPPEN, BUT.....if her father does not have a background check, it's still a major problem. And the communication breakdown does seem to fall on the provider. NO EXCUSE FOR NOT HAVING AN EMERGENCY PLAN, never ever.
In our state, the EMERGENCY back-up doesn't need any of the training or even a back ground check. It's for emergencies only, though, not a hair appt or something.

Although I have someone listed as my official emergency contact, I would probably call one of my daycare parents and have them call everyone else. The only odd situation I could think of is if I were unconsious. I'm not sure what would happen then. It depends on who finds me, honestly! I have a binder with all the contact info, but what if no one looked for that?
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cheerfuldom 01:23 PM 05-20-2014
I wouldnt worry about what the other parents are going to do (although I understand your concern!). I would leave the daycare immediately and also report to your daycare licensing agency (this is not the same as CPS). She completely failed in every way on this and that is not the parents fault. I would start researching new childcare options now and present this issue to each future provider. What is their backup plan should emergency come up? Who will they send? What if these backups are not available? Do they have numbers for all parents, all schools, all assistants, all backup contacts for families in an easily accessible place?

this woman's story is sketchy at best. She isn't being transparent about what is happening, where the assistants were, why there was not a backup plan in place, what is going on with her health......missing so many days and now suddenly sharing a major health issue that is unrelated to the other days she has taken.....makes me feel that there is a lot she is still not sharing. I would not send my kids back. This doesn't mean that you can't trust any other provider or program out there. thankfully the schools did their jobs and all the kids are safe. time to find a new provider or quit your job, there are only two options.
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cheerfuldom 01:26 PM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
In our state, the EMERGENCY back-up doesn't need any of the training or even a back ground check. It's for emergencies only, though, not a hair appt or something.

Although I have someone listed as my official emergency contact, I would probably call one of my daycare parents and have them call everyone else. The only odd situation I could think of is if I were unconsious. I'm not sure what would happen then. It depends on who finds me, honestly! I have a binder with all the contact info, but what if no one looked for that?
yeah but the difference is that you work alone and this woman has two assistants and someone would have been at the house while the other transported. Why was the provider the only one there? the only one aware of what was happening? where were the assistants? why was the husband not informed of emergency numbers and school route? She should have been prepared!!!!
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TwinKristi 02:12 PM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
yeah but the difference is that you work alone and this woman has two assistants and someone would have been at the house while the other transported. Why was the provider the only one there? the only one aware of what was happening? where were the assistants? why was the husband not informed of emergency numbers and school route? She should have been prepared!!!!
This is my line of thought as well. And even if you don't ask, I feel it's only right that parents are informed of who will be staying with their kids when there is an emergency back up there. She should have a roster with all the kids info there for this exact reason. I have one and would hand it to whoever to call parents of the kids on the calendar if it was a true medical emergency and I couldn't get someone here in time.
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Sugar Magnolia 07:12 PM 05-20-2014
I just don't get why any state would allow even an emergency back up person WITHOUT a background check?! Why should the hypothetical neighbor be allowed to watch kids in an emergency if he/she is a convicted abuser or worse a pedophile?! I think NO PARENT wants to arrive to pick up their child and finding some sketchy, unknown person watching their kids? And you've never met our seen them? As a mom, I want anyone supervising my child to, at a minimum, have a background check.
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Heidi 07:40 PM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
I just don't get why any state would allow even an emergency back up person WITHOUT a background check?! Why should the hypothetical neighbor be allowed to watch kids in an emergency if he/she is a convicted abuser or worse a pedophile?! I think NO PARENT wants to arrive to pick up their child and finding some sketchy, unknown person watching their kids? And you've never met our seen them? As a mom, I want anyone supervising my child to, at a minimum, have a background check.
Because it's intended for an emergency only. So, assuming I had a heart attack or fell and broke my leg, SOMEONE has to take care of the kiddos long enough for their parents to get here.

Assuming that my neighbor is a pedophile (or one of my daycare parents), it's pretty unlikely, even for a sicko, to say "hey, dcp called me and the ambulance is on it's way; now's my chance to do something disgusting to one of the kids". Even our seriously strict licensing dept. doesn't consider that likely.

On top of that, a background check is no guarantee that someone is not an abuser-only that they haven't been caught. Honestly, I already know more about my neighbors than any background check could tell me.
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SignMeUp 09:10 PM 05-20-2014
Crap
Our seriously (and believe me, they take themselves very seriously) strict licensing department does care if the emergency provider is background checked. We are required to have an emergency substitute who is background checked and has training.
Now, do all providers have an emergency provider who is just sitting on their hands waiting for that emergency call (that rarely, hopefully never comes)?
In my opinion, it is quite unlikely that most providers' designated emergency substitute is going to be available when said emergency occurs.
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TaylorTots 05:40 AM 05-21-2014
I can't stop wondering... why would you ever leave your kids in such an unreliable person's care. This has been going on for over a month by your posts. I would have terminated my care with that DCP a month ago when there was more than one questionable event.

There HAS to be other options for B/A care. Ultimately the parent is the responsible person for putting their child into safe situations. This DCP does not sound like a safe situation, regardless of your reporting it to anyone, you need to do the responsible parent move and pull your child immediately.
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daycaremum 06:31 AM 05-21-2014
Sounds to me like the provider dropped the ball. She should have openly communicated with you that she had a "broken neck" when it originally happened as that could have effected the care of the children, as well as the fact that she was told by the doctor to watch for these signs which she states is why she went to the hospital that day.
That should have been all communicated to the parents in advance of any emergency trip occurring.
She should have had a plan in place. I have a page in my daycare planner that has all the parents phone numbers. That way I can tell my husband or whoever where the list is and they can call all the parents to let them know immediately of what is happening.
Where were her assistants?? She had two, why weren't they sent to pick up the children? Why would she have to close so often if she employs assistants that could have taken over for the day when she was sick?
It also sounds like the parents were unable to contact her for an extended period of time. Completely unacceptable unless she was on vacation.

OP, lots of red flags have been happening for a while with your provider. Live and learn. Move on to a new provider. If your new provider is unreliable, unreachable, and uncommunicative as that one, leave them too.

I don't believe this provider tried to be inconsiderate and incompetent. It will be hard for her to lose all these clients but hopefully it will teach her to improve in all the areas in which she is so obviously lacking.
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Tags:background.checks, emergency, supervision
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