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cara041083 09:13 AM 12-02-2014
I have a mom that droped her kids off yesterday and said all your stuff is on the counter. I went over there and discovered there was no money. So I called her and she says "oh my husband said he spoke to you and you said we could pay you wed" I informed her that no, no one ever spoke to me and now I am blind sided and If i would have know I wasn't getting paid I would not have let her leave the kids. I watch both of her kids. After arguing with her via text about it, I told her I don't appreciate her husband saying things about me that didn't happen and now I look like I am the going back on what I said when he never spoke to me about it. I told her I would discuses the matter farther with him at pick up. Well then the mom started begging me not to talk to her husband about it and that she would get it worked out with him and they would pay me on wed plus late fees. Here is where I am torn. It is very clear that she doesn't want her husband to know due to the fact that I think she is blaming him for her mess up. My husband thinks I need to tell him about it. I think its not my place. What would you guys do?
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Annalee 09:23 AM 12-02-2014
I would ask her to come, pick up the kids and not bring them back until you received payment and leave it to her to work out the issue she created!
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Unregistered 09:47 AM 12-02-2014
What a liar. Be careful with that family.
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Play Care 09:49 AM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by Annalee:
I would ask her to come, pick up the kids and not bring them back until you received payment and leave it to her to work out the issue she created!


I am willing to work with a family. This is not working with you, this is telling you to lump it. I would do as Annalee said. Further I would have some strong words for her once she picked up - and they might be "You're Fired!"
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Meeko 09:56 AM 12-02-2014
I would call her and tell her that she has to come and get the kids NOW. Then term when she arrives. I cannot stand being bold-faced lied to.
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finsup 10:02 AM 12-02-2014
Are you ok with them paying Wednesday? If you are, then I would stay out of it this time. But I would be saying to mom something like "Something doesn't seem right about this and I'm not sure what's really going on. That is something you need to discuss with your husband, I do not want to be put in the middle of it. From now on, anytime I have a question, concern etc it will be directed to both of you (I do this via facebook messages so I can see that BOTH parents have read what I said)." That way she knows next time not to put you in the middle of it.
If you're not, then I agree with saying "come get your kids until you have the money to pay me." I'd be tempted to go with that only because they broke the policy, and didn't ask about money. They TOLD you what they were going to do. That does not sit well with me. If people ask, I'm much more likely to say "yes." If they just "tell" me what's going to happen with no regard for my policies, we have a problem
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KiddieCahoots 10:10 AM 12-02-2014
I agree with calling her and telling her to come pick up now.
Then no return until paid...with late fees.

Out of curiosity....who usually does the payment...mom or dad?
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cara041083 10:13 AM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by finsup:
Are you ok with them paying Wednesday? If you are, then I would stay out of it this time. But I would be saying to mom something like "Something doesn't seem right about this and I'm not sure what's really going on. That is something you need to discuss with your husband, I do not want to be put in the middle of it. From now on, anytime I have a question, concern etc it will be directed to both of you (I do this via facebook messages so I can see that BOTH parents have read what I said)." That way she knows next time not to put you in the middle of it.
If you're not, then I agree with saying "come get your kids until you have the money to pay me." I'd be tempted to go with that only because they broke the policy, and didn't ask about money. They TOLD you what they were going to do. That does not sit well with me. If people ask, I'm much more likely to say "yes." If they just "tell" me what's going to happen with no regard for my policies, we have a problem
I am not ok with being paid wed. But I can't afford to loose anyone right before Christmas. and since I watch both her kids it takes up 2 spots. I did agree to get paid Wed but I have a warning notice typed up that if anything happens like this again, It will be an immediate term. But my husband said if it was him he would want to know so I am just not sure what to do. If it wasn't so close to Christmas. I would have made her come get them right away. And if she shows up tomorrow with out money in her hand, I will not be letting her leave the kids and that will be it.
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Thriftylady 10:14 AM 12-02-2014
OH I would be mad. I think I would be in the come get them until you pay camp since you said in your OP that you wouldn't have kept them without payment. She was obviously trying to get one over on you, and thinks she did so she will get her way now.
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cara041083 10:21 AM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
OH I would be mad. I think I would be in the come get them until you pay camp since you said in your OP that you wouldn't have kept them without payment. She was obviously trying to get one over on you, and thinks she did so she will get her way now.
See this is how I feel about it. I feel like she did this on purpose and then put the blame on her husband. Then when I was going to confront him she panicked. Its not sitting well with me and the more I think about it the madder I get.
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Crazy8 10:31 AM 12-02-2014
tough situation when you can't afford to lose the kids. I would at least type up a letter stating the late fees and that this will be a ONE TIME courtesy and any time payment is not made on time in the future the children will not be allowed in care. And I would state something about lying being grounds for termination as well. I would hand letter to whoever picks up - mom or dad. If dad picks up and asks about it I would direct him to speak to his wife.
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Unregistered 10:37 AM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by cara041083:
I have a mom that droped her kids off yesterday and said all your stuff is on the counter. I went over there and discovered there was no money. So I called her and she says "oh my husband said he spoke to you and you said we could pay you wed" I informed her that no, no one ever spoke to me and now I am blind sided and If i would have know I wasn't getting paid I would not have let her leave the kids. I watch both of her kids. After arguing with her via text about it, I told her I don't appreciate her husband saying things about me that didn't happen and now I look like I am the going back on what I said when he never spoke to me about it. I told her I would discuses the matter farther with him at pick up. Well then the mom started begging me not to talk to her husband about it and that she would get it worked out with him and they would pay me on wed plus late fees. Here is where I am torn. It is very clear that she doesn't want her husband to know due to the fact that I think she is blaming him for her mess up. My husband thinks I need to tell him about it. I think its not my place. What would you guys do?
First thing I would do is tell DCD. NO WAY would I allow myself t be put in the position to be in between them and whatever communication issues they have.
As a matter of fact, I would probably ask them both to come for a sit down discussion so you can explain to them that you are the safe place for their child and not a mediator or counselor or confidant for either them.
I'd be VERY upset with mom for even asking you to not say anything....she put you in a bad spot between a rock and a hard place and that is so unfair of her.
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KiddieCahoots 10:37 AM 12-02-2014
Just throwing out there......not that this is a valid reason for dcm not paying you......just thinking out loud...

Last Friday was Black Friday.
Sometimes people go a little overboard with spending.
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cara041083 10:42 AM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Just throwing out there......not that this is a valid reason for dcm not paying you......just thinking out loud...

Last Friday was Black Friday.
Sometimes people go a little overboard with spending.
My thoughts exactly.
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cara041083 10:43 AM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
tough situation when you can't afford to lose the kids. I would at least type up a letter stating the late fees and that this will be a ONE TIME courtesy and any time payment is not made on time in the future the children will not be allowed in care. And I would state something about lying being grounds for termination as well. I would hand letter to whoever picks up - mom or dad. If dad picks up and asks about it I would direct him to speak to his wife.
I think this is what I will do. I will had it off at pick up and direct any questions to his wife.
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Unregistered 10:44 AM 12-02-2014
Did you atleast get some sort of agreement from mom about when they would be paying? If it's on Wednesday, Id charge a pretty hefty late fee so that it doesn't happen again.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:23 AM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Did you atleast get some sort of agreement from mom about when they would be paying? If it's on Wednesday, Id charge a pretty hefty late fee so that it doesn't happen again.
I agree. My late fee would be $60.00 per child come Wednesday morning AND the kids could not attend until it was paid in full. Ouch.
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safechner 11:54 AM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by cara041083:
I have a mom that droped her kids off yesterday and said all your stuff is on the counter. I went over there and discovered there was no money. So I called her and she says "oh my husband said he spoke to you and you said we could pay you wed" I informed her that no, no one ever spoke to me and now I am blind sided and If i would have know I wasn't getting paid I would not have let her leave the kids. I watch both of her kids. After arguing with her via text about it, I told her I don't appreciate her husband saying things about me that didn't happen and now I look like I am the going back on what I said when he never spoke to me about it. I told her I would discuses the matter farther with him at pick up. Well then the mom started begging me not to talk to her husband about it and that she would get it worked out with him and they would pay me on wed plus late fees. Here is where I am torn. It is very clear that she doesn't want her husband to know due to the fact that I think she is blaming him for her mess up. My husband thinks I need to tell him about it. I think its not my place. What would you guys do?
I dont think her husband knows about this. I am sure she is covered up herself to make you think that her husband spoke it to you. Maybe that is why she doesnt want her husband to know what she has done with their money, who knows. She could overspent last Black Friday or anything you can think of.
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_Dana_ 12:03 PM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
tough situation when you can't afford to lose the kids. I would at least type up a letter stating the late fees and that this will be a ONE TIME courtesy and any time payment is not made on time in the future the children will not be allowed in care. And I would state something about lying being grounds for termination as well. I would hand letter to whoever picks up - mom or dad. If dad picks up and asks about it I would direct him to speak to his wife.
Yep, I second this too. Document, give a firm talking to, and if DCD has questions, direct him to talk to DCM. Tho chances are he won't get a straight answer. Who knows what version of the truth she would tell him. DCM doesn't exactly have a great track record so far.....
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