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Daycare Insurance>DCG May Have Broke My Sons Nose..Now What?
legomom922 07:54 PM 01-12-2011
I know this sounds crazy, but DCG 2.5, was playing with my almost 15 yr old DS. He was laying on his bed and she was climbing and jumping on him etc. She also was playing with her Big ceranmic piggy bank that I gave her for Christmas, ya know, those big ones that Target was carrying? All the different colors and designs, have you seen them? Well anyway, she took the pig and without realizing what she was doing, dropped it from above her head onto my DS's face! His nose sewlled up instantly, and he wa sin a ton of pain! I called the Dr on call, and we have to see how it is tomorrow, but she says there is nothing anyone can do for a broken nose anyway, but if he has any problem breathing through his nose, to let her know. So 2 things: If there are any Dr bills that come from this, can I have DCM pay them? And 2, I'm really mad at DCG for doing this, even though I know she is a little kid, but still MY DS is now very hurt. What do I do? Is there any liability on the parents end?
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Michael 07:56 PM 01-12-2011
Sorry to hear that. Hope its not broken.
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Lucy 08:46 PM 01-12-2011
First off, so sorry to hear about your son. That had to hurt REALLY bad! And I do understand you being angry at the 2 1/2 yo girl. However, it was an innocent accident. They were playing. It wasn't in anger. I feel stuff like that, although distressing to all involved, kind of goes with the territory. I would in no way expect the parents to pay the bills. That being said, if I were the parent, I would offer anyway. But that's just how I roll.
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QualiTcare 03:40 AM 01-13-2011
I doubt it'll be an issue, but the parents wouldn't have to pay. It happened on your watch, it's your responsibility. That's how it works.
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AfterSchoolMom 03:59 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by :
she says there is nothing anyone can do for a broken nose anyway
I just wanted to address this. Please take your son to the Dr. anyway (hopefully a different one than the one that told you this!!). I broke my nose as a child playing baseball (the ball hit me in the face). They may not be able to do much about a broken nose in that they can't put a cast on it or anything, but you really need to make sure that if it is broken, it's a clean break and didn't misalign the bones in your son's nose or cause any facial fractures. I'm not trying to scare you, but I ended up having to have surgery to fix mine. I'd get an x-ray at the very least if I were you.
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mac60 04:38 AM 01-13-2011
Yes, there are things that can be done for a broken nose, I have been there, done that unfortunately, myself. Take him to the doctor, make sure it is "straight", and go from there.
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Crystal 05:32 AM 01-13-2011
First, I agree with pp that this should not be a parent liability. Clearly it was an accident, and your son IS 15, it's not like she walked up and knocked the daylights out of another two year old.

On another note, and I know some will probably not like what I am about to say, but I'm going to say it anyway becasue I feel it is important.

Your son, at 15, should not be wrestling around with a two year old on his bed. I am NOT saying he would ever do anything, BUT it could be percieved by a parent who walks in and sees it as something other than what it is. Frankly, she shouldn't even be in his bedroom. I'd be very careful about allowing this.
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legomom922 05:49 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
First, I agree with pp that this should not be a parent liability. Clearly it was an accident, and your son IS 15, it's not like she walked up and knocked the daylights out of another two year old.

On another note, and I know some will probably not like what I am about to say, but I'm going to say it anyway becasue I feel it is important.

Your son, at 15, should not be wrestling around with a two year old on his bed. I am NOT saying he would ever do anything, BUT it could be percieved by a parent who walks in and sees it as something other than what it is. Frankly, she shouldn't even be in his bedroom. I'd be very careful about allowing this.
I not concerned about a simple Dr visits bill, I was more concerned along the lines of if there was a more serious injury that resulted from it, surgery, etc.

2nd, I have had this DCG since she was 4 months old, (she will be 3 in march) and we have a extremely close relationship with this family, more friendship than business/professional, and the family knows how close DCG is to DS, as he is more like a big brother to her, and has even babysat her on ocassion as well. DCG absolutely adores DS, so I understand your thinking, but this is more of a personnal/friendship relationship. In fact when DCM shower was broken, she had a key to my house and let herself in at 5am to use our shower.

I would still be upset w/anyone who hurt DS weather it be a relative, sibling, neighbor or friend, so it's no different, I love her, but I wa smore worried of more serious complications stemming from the injury. Come to think of it, I do have insurance and it covers my kids too, so maybe it would be covered under that anyway since it was under working hrs IF something horrible came from it.

Figures this would have to happen on a day I also worked OT and her from 630am-730pm for no extra fee.......
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QualiTcare 05:51 AM 01-13-2011
Now don't be silly. I'm sure she needs a male figure in her life and nobody would think anything of a big brother doing the same thing!
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alyssyn 05:53 AM 01-13-2011
Sorry about your son's nose, ouch!! I don't think the dcg's parents should be held responsible. This happened at your house under your watch. I also agree with what Crystal said, you just never know about people and what they may think in some situations. Something that is perfectly innocent to us can be seen a different way with someone else.
Also, with no offense, wouldn't a ceramic piggy bank be an object not to be played with?
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jen 05:57 AM 01-13-2011
So if one of your daycare kids accidentally hurt another child, would you pick up the bill?
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jen 05:59 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by legomom922:
Come to think of it, I do have insurance and it covers my kids too, so maybe it would be covered under that anyway since it was under working hrs IF something horrible came from it.
Why wouldn't your health insurance cover it?
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QualiTcare 06:05 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
So if one of your daycare kids accidentally hurt another child, would you pick up the bill?
Providers definitely are responsible for the bill in these situations. When an incident occurs, the parents aren't even supposed to know who the other child is that was involved so I don't see how anyone could think otherwise.
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Lilbutterflie 06:12 AM 01-13-2011
Oh my gosh! How painful this must be for your son! I can't imagine...

I also understand being angry with her. When your child is hurt in an accident caused by another child, first instinct is for "Momma Bear" to come out and protect your child! Though this was just an accident. And she's 2. I'm sure she feels terrible about what happened.

I know how close these two must be, but I agree with PP in saying the two of them should never be alone in his room together. I know you are sure that nothing would ever happen, but you just never know what kind of accusations could come out of that.

I do definitely think x-rays are in order. Just to make sure everything can heal correctly. Poor guy.
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jen 06:16 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
Providers definitely are responsible for the bill in these situations. When an incident occurs, the parents aren't even supposed to know who the other child is that was involved so I don't see how anyone could think otherwise.
Let me re-phrase, if your child got hit in the face in gym class, would you expect the school to pay the bill? In our school district, the parent is responsible for all injuries and is expected to have health insurance to cover it. I don't know a single parent who wouldn't simply see this as one of the joys of parent-hood.

A neighbor kid hit my son in the face with a shovel, my son needed stitches and it did leave a scar. It NEVER crossed my mind to ask the kids parents to pay the bill or the co-pay. The attitude that OTHER people should pay (when we aren't talking about neglect) is one of my biggest pet peeves.
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missnikki 06:24 AM 01-13-2011
Aw, poor guy. It's always sadder when someone gets hurt having fun and being good. Your son sounds like a wonderful person for being so loving and helpful, I'm sorry he had to get hurt.
As for the little girl, I'd bet my bottom dollar that you used this as a 'teachable moment' with her, and that she will remember the pain that happens when you play too rough. That's a valuable lesson to learn- so valuable, it cost your son comfortable use of his nose for a while, bless his heart.
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Crystal 06:29 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
Now don't be silly. I'm sure she needs a male figure in her life and nobody would think anything of a big brother doing the same thing!
hahaha...my husband would never wrestle around on the bed with a child.
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dEHmom 06:39 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
Let me re-phrase, if your child got hit in the face in gym class, would you expect the school to pay the bill?
I don't know how the school systems work in the USA, but here, I'm positive we sign a waiver that releases the school for responsibility for pretty much everything. Except maybe if they lost the child, or something that is CLEARLY the fault of the school. But if a child gets punched in the face by another kid, the school is not responsible for the cost of anything.

In most of our daycare contracts I also believe much of the same is in order. I have a section regarding medical emergencies, and even though health care and all that is free in Canada, if you have to call an ambulance, and your insurance doesn't cover you, you are footing the bill for the ambulance. My contract states that parents are responsible for any and all medical expenses incurred. Should it be due to neglect on my part in any way, then I would be responsible. SO......IF i let a child sit there and drink a bottle of lysol, well, that is clearly my fault! Should a child fall off the slide and chip a tooth, I am not responsible. I'm sure you get the drift.

Also, there is insurance for such things. I don't know how it works for your own children, but I know if lets say someone else was hurt on your property and they sued you for the cost of medical bills, you are insured up to whatever your liability coverage is. The parents of this girl left her in your care. You've assumed all responsibility for whatever happens in your home, with this girl, for the contracted hours. Unfortunately it was an accident. I would be fuming too! I have a 2 yr old of my own, and sometiems I just don't understand what is going through his head! But, I don't think you have any grounds to have them pay for anything. Unless she intentionally took the piggy bank and attacked him.
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Blackcat31 06:59 AM 01-13-2011
Wow, legomom I am so sorry for your son. I'm sure a broken nose is horrible and for a 15 yr old, how embarrassing. I hope he is okay.

I will share a similar story about my own DS. When he was about 6 my DS and another dcb were outside playing and my DS comes inside and says tome, "Mom, John hurt my finger" and he holds up his hand so I can see his right index finger. I look and it looks a little red on top but then I notice a drop of blood fall onto the floor and I say, "Let me see the other side of your hand" He shows me and I about lost it!! His finger bone was sticking out about 2 inches and the finger was split right open and looked like it was blown open in an explosion! I got so dizzy and faint like...my DS meanwhile is just standing there calm as could be (in shock, I'm sure). So anyways, I luckily had my assistant there with me that day and she stayed and closed the daycare while I rushed my DS to the ER. Long story short...we were transported 85 miles away to have emergency surgery by a pediatric orthopedic surgeon in the middle of the night. (We had no one qualified in my town). Well, after staying in the hospital over night with my son and not sleeping a wink, I drove home the next day and opened up daycare as normal. My son ended up having 2 pins placed in his knuckle and 8 months of bi-weekly physical therapy. His finger is still only 85% normal.
The parents of the son who was involved in the incident with my kid came to daycare for a week or two afterwards, but eventually told me that they felt so bad about the whole thing that they just could'nt have their son in daycare any more. The had Grandma watch him. It wasn't that he was a bad kid because he wasn't. He was really good and sort of shy and quiet (whole family was). They just were so stressed over the fact that accidents can happen that they couldn't take it. I found out years later when my DS was in high school with John that he (John) wasn't allowed to play sports because his parents were so worried someone could get hurt. I felt so bad that this family was so freaked out by the possibility of accidental injuries that it limited their lives. I could tell horror stories about my youth and the things we got hurt doing or could have gotten hurt while doing.

I think that things do happen and sometimes no matter how cautious we are or how prepared we are, stuff still happens. Some times we are the victims and sometimes we are the cause but either way I think the main thing is intention and there was no intention of hurting anyone so it is just unfortuante that it happened. I would feel a bit angry if I were you as well but I would honestly just feel that way for a bit and then be fine. I wouldn't expect the other family to do anything beside apologize and feel sympathetic to your son. Even apologizing is just a coutesy since even they can't control their DD behaviors, especially not when they aren't even with her.

Good wishes for a speedy recovery to your son and I hope there is no lasting permanent damage.
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jen 07:01 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
Providers definitely are responsible for the bill in these situations. When an incident occurs, the parents aren't even supposed to know who the other child is that was involved so I don't see how anyone could think otherwise.
I wasn't going to disagree with you on this, because I figured it would cause the great debate. But...I changed my mind!

Daycare providers are NOT immediately liable for every accident, injury or illness that occurs at daycare.

Personally, I have a liability waiver in my contract as I assume most providers do. My sister is a lawyer and we discussed my contract and my liability at lenghth. In order to be held liable, a parent would need to prove neglect on the part of the provider.

Scenario 1: Little Jimmy is playing in the backyard, trips over his feet, bonks his head and requires stitches. Providing that the caregiver met all of the safety and supervision requirements he/she wouldn't be liable for medical bills.

Yes, the parents can attempt to sue for them; however, they are unlikely to a) find an attorney willing to take the case as the reward (based on the attorney collecting 1/3 of the settlement + expenses) won't be worth it,

b)If the parent pays the attorney his billable rate, it will far exceed the amount of the stitches and while you may loose the client, it is cheaper for the parent to simply pay the bill or,

c) if they take you to small claims, unless they can prove neglect, they will loose per the above contract.

Now if Little Jimmy falls off the swingset and the provider doesn't have the appropriate fall zone depth, you can prove neglect and now the providers liability insurance is a God-send.

In this case, the provider would be negligent by my county licensing laws as the child was not being supervised by the caregiver or a back-up provider over the age of 18 and also because the "toy" was inappropriate.
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marniewon 07:13 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I will share a similar story about my own DS. When he was about 6 my DS and another dcb were outside playing and my DS comes inside and says tome, "Mom, John hurt my finger" and he holds up his hand so I can see his right index finger. I look and it looks a little red on top but then I notice a drop of blood fall onto the floor and I say, "Let me see the other side of your hand" He shows me and I about lost it!! His finger bone was sticking out about 2 inches and the finger was split right open and looked like it was blown open in an explosion! I got so dizzy and faint like...my DS meanwhile is just standing there calm as could be (in shock, I'm sure).
Wow Blackcat - how in the world does something like that happen? I can imagine how you felt, I got a little sick feeling just reading about it!! Several years ago I was in nursing school, loving it, looking forward to my new career. Then my son broke his arm. I took him to the ER and while we were waiting for the doc I called my dh to come to the hospital (don't even remember why now). By the time dh got there I was feeling so sick that I had him sit with ds so I could go to the restroom and splash cold water on my face, sit down (so as not to pass out) and basically regroup. And that was over a simple break - no blood, no guts, no seeing the bone or anything. Needless to say, that was my last semester of nursing school
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DBug 07:17 AM 01-13-2011
I'm so sorry your son got hurt! Sounds like it's time for lots of pain killers and video games

Like PP, I just have to add my two cents here, for what it's worth ...

I think you need to be very careful about allowing your son to be in compromising situations like letting him wrestle with any daycare child (let alone a girl) on his bed! If any accusations were to come out of it, it could ruin his reputation and even his life. Even being accused of any form of abuse could damage his chances of getting a job, etc.

Even if the parents of this child would never accuse him of anything, what if another daycare parent, neighbour or friend of your son's heard about it and reported it?

I have two sons too, and even though they're not teenagers yet, I'm very careful about the situations I allow them to be in. Because it doesn't always matters what IS happening -- it matters what people THINK might be happening.
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QualiTcare 07:46 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
hahaha...my husband would never wrestle around on the bed with a child.
i said "big brother" referring to the important role of males in daycare - who are not always husbands.
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QualiTcare 07:49 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
I wasn't going to disagree with you on this, because I figured it would cause the great debate. But...I changed my mind!

Daycare providers are NOT immediately liable for every accident, injury or illness that occurs at daycare.

Personally, I have a liability waiver in my contract as I assume most providers do. My sister is a lawyer and we discussed my contract and my liability at lenghth. In order to be held liable, a parent would need to prove neglect on the part of the provider.

Scenario 1: Little Jimmy is playing in the backyard, trips over his feet, bonks his head and requires stitches. Providing that the caregiver met all of the safety and supervision requirements he/she wouldn't be liable for medical bills.

Yes, the parents can attempt to sue for them; however, they are unlikely to a) find an attorney willing to take the case as the reward (based on the attorney collecting 1/3 of the settlement + expenses) won't be worth it,

b)If the parent pays the attorney his billable rate, it will far exceed the amount of the stitches and while you may loose the client, it is cheaper for the parent to simply pay the bill or,

c) if they take you to small claims, unless they can prove neglect, they will loose per the above contract.

Now if Little Jimmy falls off the swingset and the provider doesn't have the appropriate fall zone depth, you can prove neglect and now the providers liability insurance is a God-send.

In this case, the provider would be negligent by my county licensing laws as the child was not being supervised by the caregiver or a back-up provider over the age of 18 and also because the "toy" was inappropriate.
well, you're not really disagreeing with me. this scenario is a perfect example. usually when two kids are involved and one gets injured the provider will be found responsible because no matter how "impossible" it might seem, they coulda, woulda, shoulda been able to prevent it.
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jen 07:53 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by :

well, you're not really disagreeing with me. this scenario is a perfect example. usually when two kids are involved and one gets injured the provider will be found responsible because no matter how "impossible" it might seem, they coulda, woulda, shoulda been able to prevent it.
LOL...nope, I am definitely disagreeing with you!
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Crystal 07:53 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
i said "big brother" referring to the important role of males in daycare - who are not always husbands.
you're cute
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QualiTcare 07:58 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
LOL...nope, I am definitely disagreeing with you!
well, you can disagree for the sake of disagreeing, but i said the provider would be reponsible in this case and you said the same thing. i guess it depends on your definition of agreeing.

btw, waivers and disclaimers are rarely worth the paper they're written on. it's a misconception that having someone sign a paper keeps them safe, but you can't sign away your legal rights nor the rights of your child.
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jen 08:09 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
well, you can disagree for the sake of disagreeing, but i said the provider would be reponsible in this case and you said the same thing. i guess it depends on your definition of agreeing.
Actually, you didn't say "in this case" you said "When an incident occurs, the parents aren't even supposed to know who the other child is that was involved so I don't see how anyone could think otherwise."

My point being, when an incident occurs, it is NOT the providers responsibility to pay the medical bills unless the provider was negligent and the parent can prove it. In this individual case, the provider was negligent.

My point being, had two children been playing, in full view of the provider, and Child A accidentally hit Child B, with an age appropriate toy, the provider would NOT be negligent or responsible for any medical care required.

Your post led me to believe that you think that anytime a child is injured at daycare and requires medical attention, that the provider is liable. That is the issue to which I take exception.
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jen 08:28 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
btw, waivers and disclaimers are rarely worth the paper they're written on. it's a misconception that having someone sign a paper keeps them safe, but you can't sign away your legal rights nor the rights of your child.
Yes, waivers and disclaimers don't amount to jack if you are negligent.

In addition, many things, especially the seriousness of the injury, influence to what extent liability becomes an issue. As for the rest, you'll forgive me if I take the word of an actual board certified attorney, right?

Now, can you just agree to disagree?
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JenNJ 09:24 AM 01-13-2011
I'm sorry he is in pain, that stinks!

I agree with the others who said the parent is NOT responsible, YOU are.

I also agree 100% with Crystal in that I would never, ever, ever allow ANY dc child to be in my child's bedroom, no matter how old they are. I don't let my dc kids in my 4 yr old or 2 yr olds bedrooms. I really would not allow my teenage child to be playing in a bedroom with a dc child EVER.

My husband is frequently home with my kids and the dc kids. He plays with them and rough houses with them each time he is home. I (and my clients) consider him a male role model. I would never allow my dc kids to wrestle on the bed with him, EVER. I trust my husband 10000000%. But I am not going to take the chance that an innocent act could be perceived wrong.

In daycare, it is all about perception. All of us, as providers, are constantly being judged on every word you say, face you make, and crumb on your floor. Our homes and families are under a microscope each day as they should be. Just reading the following sent red flags flying in my head.

Originally Posted by legomom922:
but DCG 2.5, was playing with my almost 15 yr old DS. He was laying on his bed and she was climbing and jumping on him etc.
No matter how great your son is, it is inappropriate to have her in his bed.
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dEHmom 09:50 AM 01-13-2011
It's very funny on here how every little thing turns into a HUGE debate! But maybe thats why I like this site so much?

Sorry Legomom, I don't think anyone on here is trying to make you feel horrible.

With regards to your original post,
1) I think the parents will probably tell you they are sorry about it
2) I highly highly highly doubt you would ever be able to get any kind of compensation from them for medical bills or anything down the road, unless they are just nice people and decide they want to help out.
3) Everyone is right about your son and this little girl. It's not EVER about what is actually happening, it's what people THINK is happening. Its sad, but true. and if that little girl said one day when he touched my bum or something like that, it's all gonna spin out of control, and often when a child gets a reaction, good or bad from anything, it's gonna keep going. She'll keep saying what everyone wants to hear. It's not worth what will happen to you and your son should that situation arise.
I understand because I have an extremely large extended family, and I have a little girl and 2 boys, and they spend lots of time with males and females of all ages. And I also know that my kids make up odd stories alot, and some of them I have had to inquire into a few times, because it was one of those "something isn't right" scenarios. They all turned out to be nothing wrong, but I had to take the time to find out. Kids say the darndest things!
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Lucy 09:55 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
On another note, and I know some will probably not like what I am about to say, but I'm going to say it anyway becasue I feel it is important.

Your son, at 15, should not be wrestling around with a two year old on his bed. I am NOT saying he would ever do anything, BUT it could be percieved by a parent who walks in and sees it as something other than what it is. Frankly, she shouldn't even be in his bedroom. I'd be very careful about allowing this.
You know, I had something similar to this in my original post (#3 above), but I erased it. I wasn't sure how it would be taken, but I do mean it in the best way possible. Not judging or accusing, but one of my first thoughts was "why was this girl on a 15 yo boy's bed wrestling around with him?" I'm sure beyond a doubt that it was all innocent, but you know how some parents can be. I try to avoid ANY possible gray areas. Sorry again about your son. I hope he's doing ok.
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QualiTcare 10:24 AM 01-13-2011
if a childcare provider drops a child, it's an accident. that doesn't mean the provider wouldn't be liable if the child was injured and had a medical bill. the provider is also liable for the children in his/her care. whether or not a child busted another child's face open by accident or on purpose is really irrelevant. it's not hard to prove negligence of a provider when there is an injury caused to one child by another. it can always be argued that the injury "could have" been prevented.

"maybe" the toy causing harm shouldn't have been allowed if it could do that much damage. "maybe" you weren't supervising closely enough to stop the child. being negligent isn't limited to locking kids in a room while you stay in another room watching TV all day or not bathing them, feeding them, etc. it's failing to fulfill your responsibilities, and your responsibility as a provider is to keep kids SAFE from harm. going to the ER for stitches or X-rays is not safe from harm.

if i'm driving and hit black ice that causes me to hit a car, that doesn't mean i was negligent. there was no way for me to know the black ice was there but i'd still be liable for the damages. there's no way to know a child is gonna bust open another child's face with a toy, but it's still a liability. that's why it's called liability insurance and not negligence insurance.

it has nothing to do with my personal opinion or what i would/wouldn't do as a parent or provider. i haven't even stated that. it's just amazing that people are so clueless to the facts and think that microsoft word and an ink pen is all they need to keep them safe from lawsuits that can destroy their business and their lives, really.

you can ask 10 lawyers the same question and get 13 different responses. you say the "waiver" doesn't amount to jack if you are negligent, and you don't think "accidents" are considered negligence. so, what exactly is the point in the waiver?

now, can you agree to disagree?
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Live and Learn 10:26 AM 01-13-2011
I hope that your son heals quickly. I have teen boys myself...they are like big st Bernard puppies!

My thoughts:
No dc kids in teen boys bedrooms.
No hard piggy banks in reach of 2 year olds.
You were the responsible adult in this situation so you are financially responsible.

I am no lawyer. These are just my gut feelings.

I hope that your son is ok. What a bummer.
Good luck
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legomom922 10:33 AM 01-13-2011
Wow.......I had to put down my popcorn to respond......

pAmazing how some of you really put your own twist on this incident.......Did anybody read where I wrote that I was not there???????? Maybe you could also point out where I said we were in his bedroom?????? No wonder why stories get sooo screwed up..some people like to create their own details..and drama...

How do you think I knew she lifted her arms up and over her head and dropped the piggy bank on his face?? Did you read that part?

Has anyone heard of the word "assume"?

First of all, I live in a split level. We have a family room downstairs and a livingroom upstairs. The upstairs is where our 3 bedrooms are, 1 for each boy and 1 for us. The family room is where kids hang out in my house, you know, play video games, watch TV, play with toys, legos, and where I keep DC toys too. We have an old bed down there that kids sit on when they play video games etc. We do not have a couch. It's kinda like a finished basement room where all the "stuff" goes that doesnt go anywhere else, including old furniture. This bed used to be my DS's. We all still call it his bed..There is no boxspring or frame, it's basically just an old mattress kids play on in the corner of the room. I also have some shelves down there and thats where the piggy bank sits. I took it down from the shelf because DS had more change for DCG to put in it as she does every day when she is here. After a few moments, DCG set the piggy bank down and started to jump on DS and play as they always do, and he pretends he is a horse, and they make me crack up! They have fun, good clean fun, and I sometimes even send videos to the parents which they always enjoy. Then DCG stopped jumping, picked up the piggy bank and dropped it....End of story........DCM was upset that DCG did this to DS too, even though it was an accident..

And for the record, like I also said before in my post, this is not a professional relationship I have with this family.. DS babysits her sometimes, and since DCM comes soo early in the am, she will take DCG up to my DS's bedroom and plops her on top of him to wake him up! They even took my DS 4-wheelin up to their cabin. This is more "family" than anything else..

Next time, please don't assume because we all know what happens!

For those who are wishing my DS well, thank you so much. He stayed home today to rest, take his meds and now the bridge of his nose is turning blk/blue. I dont think it is broken, but it is sore from the impact. It's not quite as swollen as it was last night. Thanks again for those who were helpful.
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nannyde 10:35 AM 01-13-2011
From your description you are 100 percent responsible for this. At age two she shouldn't be carrying around a big ceramic pigs. What if she dropped that from the top of her head onto her foot? She could have injured herself with that. You see what it did to a 17 year old. What would have happened if that would have been her little foot?

She shouldn't have been climbing up on a bed. She shouldn't have been on a bed with your son. You should have been in the same room with her and supervising what she was doing.

The "they are just like family" thing doesn't fly with me. They are family until the day when something happens. The judge won't care what you thought of your relationship and either will the DHS.

She is a paid kid and thus you are a day care provider to her no matter what you think now of your relationship. She needs careful supervision at all times. It is inapropriate to have her alone with your son in a bedroom on a bed. If he is going to interact with her it needs to be in a visiable area in your home with you present.

Seriously, this one just amazes me.
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JenNJ 10:35 AM 01-13-2011
Sorry to assume a bed was in a bedroom...
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nannyde 10:38 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by legomom922:
Wow.......I had to put down my popcorn to respond......

pAmazing how some of you really put your own twist on this incident.......Did anybody read where I wrote that I was not there???????? Maybe you could also point out where I said we were in his bedroom?????? No wonder why stories get sooo screwed up..some people like to create their own details..and drama...

How do you think I knew she lifted her arms up and over her head and dropped the piggy bank on his face?? Did you read that part?

Has anyone heard of the word "assume"?

First of all, I live in a split level. We have a family room downstairs and a livingroom upstairs. The upstairs is where our 3 bedrooms are, 1 for each boy and 1 for us. The family room is where kids hang out in my house, you know, play video games, watch TV, play with toys, legos, and where I keep DC toys too. We have an old bed down there that kids sit on when they play video games etc. We do not have a couch. It's kinda like a finished basement room where all the "stuff" goes that doesnt go anywhere else, including old furniture. This bed used to be my DS's. We all still call it his bed..There is no boxspring or frame, it's basically just an old mattress kids play on in the corner of the room. I also have some shelves down there and thats where the piggy bank sits. I took it down from the shelf because DS had more change for DCG to put in it as she does every day when she is here. After a few moments, DCG set the piggy bank down and started to jump on DS and play as they always do, and he pretends he is a horse, and they make me crack up! They have fun, good clean fun, and I sometimes even send videos to the parents which they always enjoy. Then DCG stopped jumping, picked up the piggy bank and dropped it....End of story........DCM was upset that DCG did this to DS too, even though it was an accident..

And for the record, like I also said before in my post, this is not a professional relationship I have with this family.. DS babysits her sometimes, and since DCM comes soo early in the am, she will take DCG up to my DS's bedroom and plops her on top of him to wake him up! They even took my DS 4-wheelin up to their cabin. This is more "family" than anything else..

Next time, please don't assume because we all know what happens!

For those who are wishing my DS well, thank you so much. He stayed home today to rest, take his meds and now the bridge of his nose is turning blk/blue. I dont think it is broken, but it is sore from the impact. It's not quite as swollen as it was last night. Thanks again for those who were helpful.
So the bank had MONEY in it too? Why did you allow a 2.5 year old to play with something that heavy? You know what happens when they lift heavy things above their head and drop them? Right?
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Crystal 10:39 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
From your description you are 100 percent responsible for this. At age two she shouldn't be carrying around a big ceramic pigs. What if she dropped that from the top of her head onto her foot? She could have injured herself with that. You see what it did to a 17 year old. What would have happened if that would have been her little foot?

She shouldn't have been climbing up on a bed. She shouldn't have been on a bed with your son. You should have been in the same room with her and supervising what she was doing.

The "they are just like family" thing doesn't fly with me. They are family until the day when something happens. The judge won't care what you thought of your relationship and either will the DHS.

She is a paid kid and thus you are a day care provider to her no matter what you think now of your relationship. She needs careful supervision at all times. It is inapropriate to have her alone with your son in a bedroom on a bed. If he is going to interact with her it needs to be in a visiable area in your home with you present.

Seriously, this one just amazes me.
WOW! I totally agree!!!!

i really do agree, but just playin' with you Nan
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Crystal 10:41 AM 01-13-2011
"He was laying on his bed and she was climbing and jumping on him etc"

This was in your original post. Saying HIS bed would clearly lead on to believe that it was in HIS bedroom. So sorry to have misinterpreted your post. However, your son should not be on a bed with a 2.5 year old, regardless of how innocent it is.
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QualiTcare 10:41 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by legomom922:
Wow.......I had to put down my popcorn to respond......

pAmazing how some of you really put your own twist on this incident.......Did anybody read where I wrote that I was not there???????? Maybe you could also point out where I said we were in his bedroom?????? No wonder why stories get sooo screwed up..some people like to create their own details..and drama...

How do you think I knew she lifted her arms up and over her head and dropped the piggy bank on his face?? Did you read that part?

Has anyone heard of the word "assume"?

First of all, I live in a split level. We have a family room downstairs and a livingroom upstairs. The upstairs is where our 3 bedrooms are, 1 for each boy and 1 for us. The family room is where kids hang out in my house, you know, play video games, watch TV, play with toys, legos, and where I keep DC toys too. We have an old bed down there that kids sit on when they play video games etc. We do not have a couch. It's kinda like a finished basement room where all the "stuff" goes that doesnt go anywhere else, including old furniture. This bed used to be my DS's. We all still call it his bed..There is no boxspring or frame, it's basically just an old mattress kids play on in the corner of the room. I also have some shelves down there and thats where the piggy bank sits. I took it down from the shelf because DS had more change for DCG to put in it as she does every day when she is here. After a few moments, DCG set the piggy bank down and started to jump on DS and play as they always do, and he pretends he is a horse, and they make me crack up! They have fun, good clean fun, and I sometimes even send videos to the parents which they always enjoy. Then DCG stopped jumping, picked up the piggy bank and dropped it....End of story........DCM was upset that DCG did this to DS too, even though it was an accident..

And for the record, like I also said before in my post, this is not a professional relationship I have with this family.. DS babysits her sometimes, and since DCM comes soo early in the am, she will take DCG up to my DS's bedroom and plops her on top of him to wake him up! They even took my DS 4-wheelin up to their cabin. This is more "family" than anything else..

Next time, please don't assume because we all know what happens!

For those who are wishing my DS well, thank you so much. He stayed home today to rest, take his meds and now the bridge of his nose is turning blk/blue. I dont think it is broken, but it is sore from the impact. It's not quite as swollen as it was last night. Thanks again for those who were helpful.
i never thought much of it honestly, but now that you mention this - your OP does say "his bed" and you say here that each boy has his own room so it would be normal for someone to assume when you say "his bed" that you were talking about the one in his room instead of a community mattress type thing located in the family room (which i know what you mean by that also).
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legomom922 10:47 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
From your description you are 100 percent responsible for this. At age two she shouldn't be carrying around a big ceramic pigs. What if she dropped that from the top of her head onto her foot? She could have injured herself with that. You see what it did to a 17 year old. What would have happened if that would have been her little foot?

She shouldn't have been climbing up on a bed. She shouldn't have been on a bed with your son. You should have been in the same room with her and supervising what she was doing.

The "they are just like family" thing doesn't fly with me. They are family until the day when something happens. The judge won't care what you thought of your relationship and either will the DHS.

She is a paid kid and thus you are a day care provider to her no matter what you think now of your relationship. She needs careful supervision at all times. It is inapropriate to have her alone with your son in a bedroom on a bed. If he is going to interact with her it needs to be in a visiable area in your home with you present.

Seriously, this one just amazes me.
See what I mean? Let me point out all of your errors:
1. She wasn't carrying the pig.....
2. DS is not 17
3. She wasn't climbing on the bed
4. She wasn't alone
5. She wasn't left unsupervisied
6. She wasn't in a bedroom
7. He wasn't in non-visable area
8. I was not missing

Furthermore, how do you expect him to babysit her and not be alone with her in their home???

Seriusly, what amazes me is again how people assume & add their own details!
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nannyde 10:52 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by legomom922:
See what I mean? Let me point out all of your errors:
1. She wasn't carrying the pig.....
2. DS is not 17
3. She wasn't climbing on the bed
4. She wasn't alone
5. She wasn't left unsupervisied
6. She wasn't in a bedroom
7. He wasn't in non-visable area
8. I was not missing

Furthermore, how do you expect him to babysit her and not be alone with her in their home???

Seriusly, what amazes me is again how people assume & add their own details!
Oh excuse me. 15. Same difference. I got the laying on his bed from your post where you said "He was laying on his bed".

How are you saying she's not carrying the pig when she had it and dropped it? Are you saying she was HOLDING the pig?

okay then... why in the world would you allow a 2.5 year old to HOLD a ceramic pig that had money in it? She could have dropped that on her feet?

When he BABYSITS her it's on their clock and their arrangement. She's not a day care kid when HE is caring for her in their home or even in YOUR home when they hire HIM to care for her.

You are changing the story and building a new story around your original one. The first thing you posted is the truth.
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QualiTcare 10:55 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Oh excuse me. 15. Same difference. I got the laying on his bed from your post where you said "He was laying on his bed".

How are you saying she's not carrying the pig when she had it and dropped it? Are you saying she was HOLDING the pig?

okay then... why in the world would you allow a 2.5 year old to HOLD a ceramic pig that had money in it? She could have dropped that on her feet?

When he BABYSITS her it's on their clock and their arrangement. She's not a day care kid when HE is caring for her in their home or even in YOUR home when they hire HIM to care for her.

You are changing the story and building a new story around your original one. The first thing you posted is the truth.
that's a little risky too. not now maybe - but IF something happened in her home and she's the daycare provider. big risk, actually.
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dEHmom 10:55 AM 01-13-2011
Lol, sorry, I'm reading this post now honestly because of the debate.

Unfortunately it is very easy to assume things. Sometimes by us forgetting to imply something like a joke or sarcastic tone (I did this to myself the other day).

I have to admit I did originally read your post and thought to myself why was this little girl in the bed with him. But I also realized that you informed us of how it happened. It wasn't exactly clear to me whether you were present or if your son informed you of how it happened. I also didn't read every single word in your post, even if I had it is still easy to misread with other things going on right behind me (movie on, kids arguing etc etc).

Either way, to me, it is inappropriate to be in a bed with anyone else. Regardless of if he is the babysitter or you. And whether both of you are present or not. I understand you state this is a mattress in a room that is not a bedroom, but with a lot of the things you hear nowdays, for me, I'd rather avoid that all together. A communal mattress does not sound good! Sorry.

Originally your post was to vent about the accident, and to ask if you were entitled to any liability on the parents part. Which I think you've received your answer multiple times by now.

Glad to hear he is doing a little better. Did you find out if it was a clean break? I was lucky when I broke my nose on the monkey bars at school that it was a straight bar straight across teh bridge, I didn't have to have any alignments done! whew.
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nannyde 10:57 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
that's a little risky too. not now maybe - but IF something happened in her home and she's the daycare provider. big risk, actually.
Yeah you are right... just getting that in there because the next thing we know he will have BEEN the babysitter in this story.
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DCMomOf3 10:57 AM 01-13-2011
Legomom - I can tell you are frustrated and are on the defensive right now. I hope you can see where the confusion happened. You say DSs bed, with no explanation of location or specifics. Also, you could have gotten an explanation from your son, I don't believe you stated you SAW.

I am very sorry that your son was hurt but I think there is nothing you can do about it except tell your son not to lay down on any surface where the daycare kids are.
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jen 11:01 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by legomom922:
See what I mean? Let me point out all of your errors:
1. She wasn't carrying the pig.....
2. DS is not 17
3. She wasn't climbing on the bed
4. She wasn't alone
5. She wasn't left unsupervisied
6. She wasn't in a bedroom
7. He wasn't in non-visable area
8. I was not missing

Furthermore, how do you expect him to babysit her and not be alone with her in their home???

Seriusly, what amazes me is again how people assume & add their own details!
Now I am confused...

If she wasn't carrying the Pig, how did she drop the pig?

No, not 17, almost 16, sort of mute point, we stand corrected.

No, she wasn't climbing on the bed, she was climbing on your son, who was on his bed. Do you not see how we would make the assumption that "his bed" was in his bedroom?

If you were in the room and allowed her to pick up the pig, then why would you think that her parents should pay for your sons medical bills? They weren't in the room.

Yes he has babysat for her in the past, but he was not babysitting for her today. YOU were, isn't that right?

Maybe I am not getting it!
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Blackcat31 11:21 AM 01-13-2011
legomom...I have heard that when you have a broken nose you should take a decongestant to prevent any phlem buildup that could cause an infection. As a precautionary action I would consider doing so to prevent any further problems for your son.
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Unregistered 11:25 AM 01-13-2011
OP, I hope that all is going well for your son. Broken noses are painful!

As far as any expenses that could come up are concerned, I think that you are going to be responsible for them.
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legomom922 11:33 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Oh excuse me. 15. Same difference. I got the laying on his bed from your post where you said "He was laying on his bed".

How are you saying she's not carrying the pig when she had it and dropped it? Are you saying she was HOLDING the pig?

okay then... why in the world would you allow a 2.5 year old to HOLD a ceramic pig that had money in it? She could have dropped that on her feet?

When he BABYSITS her it's on their clock and their arrangement. She's not a day care kid when HE is caring for her in their home or even in YOUR home when they hire HIM to care for her.

You are changing the story and building a new story around your original one. The first thing you posted is the truth.
Oh my goodness...

He was laying on his bed because she was climbing on him, and he was pretending to be a horse.

They had been putting money in her pig..There is not alot of money in it..She has only been here 4x since Christmas..It's not really super heavy with a ton of money in it..Maybe it has a total of .80 in mixed coins..Most of the weight is from the ceramic itself..When they were done playing on the bed, she only picked up the pig, not carried the pig, not holding the pig.

No change in the story, just adding alot more details that I didnt even think was necessary since all of this other stuff is not even related to my question in the first place! I could have written a novel to let you know every single detail no matter how small, but I didnt want to write a book. I wanted to make it short & simple so I wouldnt bore you to death!

This thread was not to start a debate in the first place, it was just for info, and some have made a montain out of a mole hill which is uncalled for...
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legomom922 11:48 AM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
Originally your post was to vent about the accident, and to ask if you were entitled to any liability on the parents part. Which I think you've received your answer multiple times by now.

Glad to hear he is doing a little better. Did you find out if it was a clean break? I was lucky when I broke my nose on the monkey bars at school that it was a straight bar straight across teh bridge, I didn't have to have any alignments done! whew.
I was venting in my original post because being the Mamma bear, I was sad that my baby was hurt, even though it was on accident, and I only was asking a question on liability because if it was a DCK who got hurt by our kids, we all know what would happen, but considering this was the opposite, I didnt know the answer.

I dont know why some have to go off in other directions. I didnt ask what was right or appropriate..that wasn't the question and therefore needed no answers or opinions. Next time, I will leave out all details, or write a book instead...

i'm glad you didnt need to have any alignments done! I dont think it is broken today. It is blk/blue across the bridge though, and the swelling has gone down, so I think he will be ok now.

Thanks to all who helped me/understood me!

Off to pick up my car now.
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dEHmom 11:53 AM 01-13-2011
If it's a clean break, you wouldn't really know it was broken. If I get really cold or sick, and go pale in the face, you can still see the break (15 yrs later) in my nose it's just a darker line that looks like a crack in the bone. If I wear sunglasses, I find my nose goes a little tingly/numb, but after a few days the swelling was gone, and the bruising lasted about a week around my eyes and nose (look like I got punched in both eyes). Once in a while I get nosebleeds and was told it's from that, but it's probably just from the dry air, etc.
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Crystal 11:54 AM 01-13-2011
Legomom, I did not make my first post to be flammatory. I sincerely feel that any daycare child playing on a bed with a 15 year old dcs COULD end up being a liability. No matter the relationship you have with the family, all it takes is one false, innocently misunderstood "touch" and for dcg to report that to her parents. Your relationship, professional or not, would be over and there would likely be criminal charges pressed against your son. It doesn't have to be true for it to be believed and reported.

No matter how much they trust you and your son, it COULD happen. It has happened with trusted family members in some cases, why would you think it could not happen with you, your son and your child care/personal relationships?

I am very sorry your son got hurt. I understand that it is difficult to see your own child in pain. But, this happened by a small child, clearly unintenionally, I think I would just let it go if I were you.
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Unregistered 12:06 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
First, I agree with pp that this should not be a parent liability. Clearly it was an accident, and your son IS 15, it's not like she walked up and knocked the daylights out of another two year old.

On another note, and I know some will probably not like what I am about to say, but I'm going to say it anyway becasue I feel it is important.

Your son, at 15, should not be wrestling around with a two year old on his bed. I am NOT saying he would ever do anything, BUT it could be percieved by a parent who walks in and sees it as something other than what it is. Frankly, she shouldn't even be in his bedroom. I'd be very careful about allowing this.
I completely agree with what crystal said I have a 3 year old and if she went to daycare and was in the providers sons bedroom who is a teen jumping on the bed, play fighting with him, playing with a CERMANIC piggy bank, and UNATTENDED I would be PISSED sorry but from a parents view of a little girl its unacceptable for a boy who is not the brother to be play fighting with a little girl in his room and its unacceptable for a 2 year old to be playing with something dangerous and unattended.
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dEHmom 12:15 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I completely agree with what crystal said I have a 3 year old and if she went to daycare and was in the providers sons bedroom who is a teen jumping on the bed, play fighting with him, playing with a CERMANIC piggy bank, and UNATTENDED I would be PISSED sorry but from a parents view of a little girl its unacceptable for a boy who is not the brother to be play fighting with a little girl in his room and its unacceptable for a 2 year old to be playing with something dangerous and unattended.
Sorry but we've already dealt with the misinformation going on here.
Nothing about what you said was the actual scenario
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Live and Learn 12:19 PM 01-13-2011
Lego mom,
My own teen son recently had his nose broken in a soccer game. Not only was his nose purple but both eyes! I hope your guy mends as fast as mine did.

Originally Posted by legomom922:


it was an accident.....

This is more "family" than anything else.
If my two year old niece accidentally hurt my teen son in a similar way I definitely would not expect her parents to pay!! Good Luck
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QualiTcare 01:01 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Legomom, I did not make my first post to be flammatory. I sincerely feel that any daycare child playing on a bed with a 15 year old dcs COULD end up being a liability. No matter the relationship you have with the family, all it takes is one false, innocently misunderstood "touch" and for dcg to report that to her parents. Your relationship, professional or not, would be over and there would likely be criminal charges pressed against your son. It doesn't have to be true for it to be believed and reported.

No matter how much they trust you and your son, it COULD happen. It has happened with trusted family members in some cases, why would you think it could not happen with you, your son and your child care/personal relationships?

I am very sorry your son got hurt. I understand that it is difficult to see your own child in pain. But, this happened by a small child, clearly unintenionally, I think I would just let it go if I were you.
I agree except I think the same scenario of false accusations happens with males and no mention of a bed is even involved. FALSE accusations is why I never wanted my husband around dck and what worries me more about males in general than actually doing it.

If it were a girl playing in her room w the dcg this wouldn't be a topic. I've seen ppl mention dck playing in their own children's room. It's pretty hypocritical in light of the men in daycare discussion.
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Michael 01:07 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
Sorry but we've already dealt with the misinformation going on here.
Nothing about what you said was the actual scenario
Shall I close this thread?
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Blackcat31 01:10 PM 01-13-2011
I vote yes, as long as legomom is okay with it and her son is doing well, I think too many other things have been brought into the thread that wasn't the intent of the op's....we can always start separate threads for those issues if we feel the need.
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dEHmom 01:10 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
Shall I close this thread?
I'm not sure since you quoted me Michael if I've done anything wrong in that post, or was being rude.

I just understand that even myself, took Legomom's original post and spun it out of control.

I think most of us were pointing out a fact that there is a possibility in this situation that someone can misinterpret what they see/hear, and it would be devistating for all involved.
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Michael 01:11 PM 01-13-2011
No, nothing about you. Just asking.
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dEHmom 01:56 PM 01-13-2011
Not my thread to say so, but I feel maybe it's a good thing to leave open.

Reminds people that stuff like this can happen. Even though it is not related to the original post, it started a topic, which just proves how things can be misinterpreted.
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Lucy 02:15 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by legomom922:

He was laying on his bed because she was climbing on him, and he was pretending to be a horse.
Of course, because horses are always on their backs facing you when you ride them.
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Crystal 02:29 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
I agree except I think the same scenario of false accusations happens with males and no mention of a bed is even involved. FALSE accusations is why I never wanted my husband around dck and what worries me more about males in general than actually doing it.

If it were a girl playing in her room w the dcg this wouldn't be a topic. I've seen ppl mention dck playing in their own children's room. It's pretty hypocritical in light of the men in daycare discussion.
FTR...my kids NEVER have had DCK in their rooms. Or in my room.

Now, QCare, I understand how you feel about men in child care.....you have made that perfectly clear in the dad's in daycare threads. However, my husband does work with me. My point with Legomom is to MINIMIZE your risk. So, my husband works with me....he would NEVER have a child alone in a bedroom, or on a bed, or giving them horsie rides.

Sure, there is the possibility that there may be a false accusation against my husband, just as there is the possibility that I could be falsely accused of mistreating a child, but we do everything we can to make sure that does not happen. Including always having at least two of here at all times, neither of us are ever alone with the children, we document EVERYTHING that could even possibly be misconstrued as abuse and NEVER, EVER, EVER would you find one of us on a bed with a DCK. No matter where that bed may be.

Allowing a 15 year old to be on a bed with a 2.5 year old DCG is asking for trouble. For the OP to be defensive about it and argumentative about it is ridiculous. I am the OP who brought the issue up about her son/dcg. I did it to remind her that these things can be misconstrued and as a warning that she may not want to allow it. I didn't say it to start a flaming war, I am genuinely concerned about the liability she could face if it were misunderstood. And, quite possibly a parent being told they are going to be held liable for their 2.5 year old daughter hurting a 15 year old may be all they need to make that accusation....people ARE retaliatory and vindictive, ya know?
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kendallina 02:53 PM 01-13-2011
Sorry your son got hurt Legomom, I can understand your feelings as a momma who feels bad that your son was injured. I do agree with those that said you would be liable to pay for any medical costs that arise from this. I hope he feels better soon...

I do also have to say that I've been in daycares that have a mattress on the floor of the playroom. It can be a fun way for children to play and bounce and be silly. I don't really see anything wrong with that. I can understand how some might misconstrue that, but, once you cleared up the circumstances I don't really see anything wrong with them being silly on a mattress in a communal area, especially given your relationship with the family (i.e. that they're so familiar they are comfortable walking right in your son's room and plopping their daughter on him...lol). It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship/friendship with this family and I personally wouldn't want to damage it by even asking for financial compensation.
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nikia 03:31 PM 01-13-2011
First off I am sorry your son is hurt and I hope that is not broken. As a mamma bear myself I can understand your anger. I personally wouldnt ask for any compensation just because I would feel since it happened at my house and I let them rough house I would be responsible and accidents do happen. But I understand completely the angry mamma bear feeling

As far as the other issues in this thread, I think that they are good points to make but it wasnt the original question and I think leggomom may feel personally attacked, as I was in my Santa clause thread, and it is not a good feeling when you come for support.
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DBug 03:43 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by :
DS babysits her sometimes, and since DCM comes soo early in the am, she will take DCG up to my DS's bedroom and plops her on top of him to wake him up!
Okay, I was telling my husband about this situation, and the thing that bothered him was this part (not the rest of it, just this!). He pointed out, as only a man can do, that waking up first thing in the morning can be, um, ... embarrassing ... for men, and especially teenaged boys (if you catch his drift ...).

Since it's not something that most of us women think about, you may want to consider it before allowing other women and little girls into his room first thing in the morning. I'm sure the other mom would probably not want to have to explain THAT situation to her toddler!

Now that he's pointed it out (pardon the expression!), I think I'll be more cautious when entering my sons' room in the am!
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legomom922 03:57 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by kendallina:
I do also have to say that I've been in daycares that have a mattress on the floor of the playroom. It can be a fun way for children to play and bounce and be silly. I don't really see anything wrong with that. I can understand how some might misconstrue that, but, once you cleared up the circumstances I don't really see anything wrong with them being silly on a mattress in a communal area, especially given your relationship with the family (i.e. that they're so familiar they are comfortable walking right in your son's room and plopping their daughter on him...lol). It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship/friendship with this family and I personally wouldn't want to damage it by even asking for financial compensation.
Thank you for understanding. I would never damage this relationship over money, it was just "knowledge" I was seeking because of the uncertainity at that moment. My Dad had a friend whose kid got hurt and the bone got shoved up into his brain, it was fatal..So tend to look at all senerios & seek educational info just in case.

Furthermore I do not run this huge daycare center somewhere where i have kids running all over the place. I have this 1 girl, who has grown up with my family, and do not plan on having anymore since my DH told me I don't need to do this anymore anyway. In between the time when DCG was here FT and when she was drop in only, I did it for free because of the relationship I have with this family, and when she needed me again on a reg PT schedule, thats when I started charging her again. Some of you have taken this wonderful relationship and twisted it to make it look dark.

Accuasations can happen to anyone anywhere, and you dont even have to be a DCP for it to happen. A neighbor, a friend, a kid at school, church etc, so unless everyone is willing to lock themselves up in their house and never go out and never have any contact with people/kids in the outside world, anyone is at risk. A baby can die on a DCP's watch and be accused, but it doesnt stop any of us from being DCP's does it? Your own child could be molested at church, do you not go because of "what if" Or how about a teacher? Do you not send your kids to school because "what if"? I am not going to live in the "what if" world, and if I do, I would be better off dead.......

Again, thank you to those who truly understood the senerio, and didnt twist the facts. I appreciate that !

Michael, you can close the thread now, no sense in beating a dead horse...
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QualiTcare 07:01 PM 01-13-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
FTR...my kids NEVER have had DCK in their rooms. Or in my room.

Now, QCare, I understand how you feel about men in child care.....you have made that perfectly clear in the dad's in daycare threads. However, my husband does work with me. My point with Legomom is to MINIMIZE your risk. So, my husband works with me....he would NEVER have a child alone in a bedroom, or on a bed, or giving them horsie rides.

Sure, there is the possibility that there may be a false accusation against my husband, just as there is the possibility that I could be falsely accused of mistreating a child, but we do everything we can to make sure that does not happen. Including always having at least two of here at all times, neither of us are ever alone with the children, we document EVERYTHING that could even possibly be misconstrued as abuse and NEVER, EVER, EVER would you find one of us on a bed with a DCK. No matter where that bed may be.

Allowing a 15 year old to be on a bed with a 2.5 year old DCG is asking for trouble. For the OP to be defensive about it and argumentative about it is ridiculous. I am the OP who brought the issue up about her son/dcg. I did it to remind her that these things can be misconstrued and as a warning that she may not want to allow it. I didn't say it to start a flaming war, I am genuinely concerned about the liability she could face if it were misunderstood. And, quite possibly a parent being told they are going to be held liable for their 2.5 year old daughter hurting a 15 year old may be all they need to make that accusation....people ARE retaliatory and vindictive, ya know?
How would you know how I feel from that thread? I never told you ;0)

Actually, it's not something I'd want my husband doing bc there is a higher risk of accusations IMO. When that many girls are being abused and an equal amount of women are in denial about what the males in their lives are capable of and how desperate people are for someone to point the finger at when something does happen. Do you watch TV? I just laugh my ass off at the amount of seemingly normal women who are married to OBVIOUS gay men. Denial, big time.

We're different in that you decrease the risk you think by not letting your husband lay in the bed with kids. I would rather eliminate the risk by not having him hang around young kids. That doesn't mean I don't think men should do dc. I'm all about rights. I just don't want my men (including my son) doing it. I can't see myself being attracted to a man who would be up for that type of work really and I'd be very worried if my teenage son would mess with a little girl at all.
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Unregistered 05:50 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
Sorry but we've already dealt with the misinformation going on here.
Nothing about what you said was the actual scenario
Did you read the first post sweetie they where in HIS room on HIS bed stated by first poster I was stating how I would feel if this was MY GIRL in a BED with a TEEN boy and playing with a CERMANIC piggy bank and PLAY FIGHTING all that was said SO may wanna read a little closer next time MAYBE they where NOT unattended I did just assume that part and I apolozie to first poster for ASSUMING that.
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jen 06:08 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
I can't see myself being attracted to a man who would be up for that type of work really ...
Oh my gosh, that is really sad.
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dEHmom 06:13 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Did you read the first post sweetie they where in HIS room on HIS bed stated by first poster I was stating how I would feel if this was MY GIRL in a BED with a TEEN boy and playing with a CERMANIC piggy bank and PLAY FIGHTING all that was said SO may wanna read a little closer next time MAYBE they where NOT unattended I did just assume that part and I apolozie to first poster for ASSUMING that.
Yeah I read it, but there has been 2 pages of discussion regarding what was said in the first post.
I didn't mean to be rude, but I feel bad for legomom because she didn't think what she was saying was going to spin off this way.

I understand that often we come on here for support, or to ask a question about something, and without thinking about what we are saying, it comes across the wrong way and everyone ends up ganging up on you.

All I meant in that post unregistered user (I'm assuming you've logged out so you are not recognized) was that you were late coming into the conversation, within the last 20 or so posts prior to yours things had been cleared up, and everyone was getting the point. Obviously if you come into a thread late, it isn't expected you can read every single post, but in a heated discussion such as this, it is a good idea to at least read in between and the last of the posts before you say what you want to say.
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missnikki 06:45 AM 01-14-2011
So Legomom, how is your boy doing?
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legomom922 07:07 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
Yeah I read it, but there has been 2 pages of discussion regarding what was said in the first post.
I didn't mean to be rude, but I feel bad for legomom because she didn't think what she was saying was going to spin off this way.

I understand that often we come on here for support, or to ask a question about something, and without thinking about what we are saying, it comes across the wrong way and everyone ends up ganging up on you.

All I meant in that post unregistered user (I'm assuming you've logged out so you are not recognized) was that you were late coming into the conversation, within the last 20 or so posts prior to yours things had been cleared up, and everyone was getting the point. Obviously if you come into a thread late, it isn't expected you can read every single post, but in a heated discussion such as this, it is a good idea to at least read in between and the last of the posts before you say what you want to say.
Thanks Baybee! Obviously some people doesn't know how to READ
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legomom922 07:08 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
Yeah I read it, but there has been 2 pages of discussion regarding what was said in the first post.
I didn't mean to be rude, but I feel bad for legomom because she didn't think what she was saying was going to spin off this way.

I understand that often we come on here for support, or to ask a question about something, and without thinking about what we are saying, it comes across the wrong way and everyone ends up ganging up on you.

All I meant in that post unregistered user (I'm assuming you've logged out so you are not recognized) was that you were late coming into the conversation, within the last 20 or so posts prior to yours things had been cleared up, and everyone was getting the point. Obviously if you come into a thread late, it isn't expected you can read every single post, but in a heated discussion such as this, it is a good idea to at least read in between and the last of the posts before you say what you want to say.


Thanks Baybee! Obviously some people doesn't know how to READ
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legomom922 07:12 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by missnikki:
So Legomom, how is your boy doing?
He is better, thank you so much for asking! The swelling is even better now and he did go back to school today, so I don't think he needs to go to the Dr. I will see how he looks by Monday and if there is any swelling or bumps that have not gone away by then maybe I will still take him in. he does seem to have a line or some bruising by the bridge of his nose.
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dEHmom 07:17 AM 01-14-2011
Sounds like he had a clean break then. He'll be sore for a while. Glad to hear he's back to school.

And you're welcome
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legomom922 07:23 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
Sounds like he had a clean break then. He'll be sore for a while. Glad to hear he's back to school.

And you're welcome
Do you think it really was broken? I still don't know, LOL Should i still ahve him looked at?
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missnikki 07:25 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by legomom922:
Do you think it really was broken? I still don't know, LOL Should i still ahve him looked at?
Yes, I definitely would take him in. If anything can be done, I personally would feel terrible if somewhere down the line it became a problem that could have been solved with a visit or 2. At least just to get an 'all clear' from the doc.
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dEHmom 07:40 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by legomom922:
Do you think it really was broken? I still don't know, LOL Should i still ahve him looked at?
I agree. But you have to pay for visits to doctor right? EEEK I hate going to the dentist because we have to pay 20% of the cost. GRRR...

It would probably be a good idea just to get them to look at it. But if it looks like nothing is out of alignment then I personally probably wouldn't be worried about it if swelling is going away and bruising. I mean they will probably just look at it and tell you it's fine. BUT i am not a doctor.

I just know from a mother's standpoint sometimes we worry too much, and other times we just know it's a booboo and it'll heal. I think it's a judgement call. I do agree though, that you don't want to regret it down the line. If it heals up wrong for any reason, it's not an easy fix in the future.
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Michael 10:05 AM 01-14-2011
Thanks Babybee for that last post. I was going to close this thread since it's starting to go off topic.
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dEHmom 10:19 AM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
Thanks Babybee for that last post. I was going to close this thread since it's starting to go off topic.
no problem. not sure which post you are referring to but s'all gravy baby.

glad no one is ready to strangle the other anymore. it's like we are all back in highschool!
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QualiTcare 12:51 PM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
Oh my gosh, that is really sad.
What is sad about it? I can safely say ballet dancers, gymnasts, and police offers most def aren't my thing either.
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Live and Learn 01:02 PM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
I just laugh my ass off at the amount of seemingly normal women who are married to OBVIOUS gay men. Denial, big time.
This is a daycare forum and I for one would prefer you to keep your gay bashing and preferences in men to yourself.
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QualiTcare 05:42 PM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Live and Learn:
This is a daycare forum and I for one would prefer you to keep your gay bashing and preferences in men to yourself.

Gay bashing? Where?! I love gays. I was making a reference to women being in denial. Anyone who has watched toddlers n tiaras would know what that means. Yes it's a daycare forum and god forbid I make a joke about men. I didn't realize anyone's husband was a ballet dancer.
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dEHmom 05:45 PM 01-14-2011
oh my.....
back to highschool again I see
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QualiTcare 05:54 PM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Baybee0585:
oh my.....
back to highschool again I see
No, it's daycare! :
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dEHmom 05:55 PM 01-14-2011
lol. Some of these posts are like my 4 and 6 yr old. Just bickering they are driving me nuts lately! I don't think they even know what they are arguing about they just argue to argue!
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Lucy 06:02 PM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
"I just laugh my ass off at the amount of seemingly normal women who are married to OBVIOUS gay men. Denial, big time."

"Gay bashing? Where?! I love gays. I was making a reference to women being in denial. Anyone who has watched toddlers n tiaras would know what that means. Yes it's a daycare forum and god forbid I make a joke about men. I didn't realize anyone's husband was a ballet dancer."
I find I'm usually with you on things you say, but I draw the line here. You're generalizing when you say effeminate men, or men who have predominantly female jobs are in denial about being gay. Or that their wives are in denial that their husband is gay. I find that to be a very narrow-minded statement.
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QualiTcare 06:10 PM 01-14-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
I find I'm usually with you on things you say, but I draw the line here. You're generalizing when you say effeminate men, or men who have predominantly female jobs are in denial about being gay. Or that their wives are in denial that their husband is gay. I find that to be a very narrow-minded statement.
That's not actually what I said. I mentioned a personal preference including cops who are def. The opposite of a female role. I do think that guy on toddlers n tiaras is gay, narrow minded or not.

Btw, when I initially mentioned women in denial, I was referring to the fact that when something does happen to a child, women are often in denial that their own husband or male in their life would be capable of doing such a thing. Therefore, they look for someone else to blame and male caregivers are vulnerable in that situation.
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