I have an open spot for an infant, and am currently watching a 6 mo boy on a trial basis. He will be full time, 5 days a week. His mom has already been turned away by two previous providers after just a few days, in her words, b/c they both decided that they changed their minds about keeping infants with their existing toddlers (????). She has been honest from day one that naptime is their struggle. He has never been consistent with a nap routine, and he likes to take very short naps all day long. I have a feeling he is being held a lot and is used to 100% adult attention all the time (he currently is at home with work-at-home mom and a college girl who takes care of him 3 days/wk at her home).

Naps are a struggle as mom has said. He throws quite a fit and I have to let him cry while checking on him every 5 minutes. First day, he went to sleep about 30 minutes after I first put him down. Today he went to sleep 1 hr 20 minutes after he first laid down! That's a LOT of crying. Of course, I would check on him every 5 minutes, change him as necessary, pick him up and rock him/burp him; everything. This is a baby that once he starts screaming, he won't stop no matter what.

He does not sleep long for any naps, about 45 minutes for each nap. I have had to put him down for a third nap to last the whole 9 hour day.

Other than that, he's a happy baby when he is not tired. He is very good, and he does very well as long he's rotated among baby stations. I haven't had an issues at all with him not getting 100% adult attention as I was previously afraid of.

My questions are as follows:

1-Do you think a baby like this will eventually adjust, meaning learning to self soothe and take longer naps; with a consistent routine and letting him get his scream on?

2-How long is just too long for a baby to scream while going down for a nap? How long have some of yours taken to get their scream on?

3-If you think he will eventually adjust, how long does this normally take for a full time 6 mo?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

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Well, someone will flame me for this but at 6 months we start CIO.

I would not go in every five minutes. Get a video monitor, put him in a separate dark room, don't pick him up or make eye contact. Change him only if you smell the need.

Everyone will be so much happier when this lil guy is put on a schedule.

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Exactly. I never go in unless I smell poop. They just get so upset when they see me and I don't pick them up. Video monitor.

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Oops..... Didn't really answer your questions!

1) Yes, Stick to your schedule.

2) I have had some scream through most and even all of their nap time at first. Stick to your schedule.

3) Usually 2 weeks or so but I had a fifteen month old who had never been on a schedule and whose parents said didn't take naps take about a month to five weeks. Stick to your schedule.

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No flames, I do the same here except I can't leave the room (regs).

I do arrange the crib to where the child cannot see me at my desk but I can sit up straight to peek at any time.

I have a box fan behind a baby gate and a ocean cd with flutes and seagulls playing during naps.

I also like to use the sleep sheep since it really has helped with my little guys.

I am afraid that starting using it with a 6 month old probably wont help much. I start them at 6 weeks with one. The heartbeat and waves are the two favorite ones here.

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I would give him 4 to 6 weeks provided this issue is the only issue. You put him on a schedule and let him cry the whole nap time if necessary. Then get him up and keep him up until the next nap. At 6 months, I would do 2 naps a day, at least 2 hours each time. He will get it and probably quicker than you realize. Going in and fussing over him is just going to prolong the transition though and make him mad again when you leave. If a kid takes a 30 min. nap and then wakes up before the nap time frame is over, I let them cry for the rest of the time. Usually they will fall back asleep or at least get used to having a certain nap length where they rest quietly even if they aren't sleeping. I have a 9 month old and a 7 month old here and this is what works for them (and any other babies I have had to transition to regular naps). They do have their own rooms that are darkened, have white noise, etc.

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Wow, you start CIO at 6 weeks old? I ask because I was wondering how early I could start, and all the info I could find says 6 months. As I gain more experience, I'm leaning towards doing CIO earlier--like, as soon as possible with each individual child.

In your experience, is it ok to start CIO earlier than 6 months? Does it work out better for the child? Also, at what point do most of you allow kids to get up from naptime if they wake early?

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I'm pretty sure she meant she started using the Sleep Sheep at 6 weeks, not the CIO method. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong...

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Ah...I read the post too quickly. I'm still curious about my questions though...

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Sleep Sheep at 6 weeks when they start here. It is wonderful and makes heart beat sounds. It Velcros to the top rail of their crib.

CIO starts at 6 months for full term infants. I use best judgment for my preemies. You get used to their cries and know the "fake" ones...

Also until 12 months they are taken out of their crib and placed back onto their play-mats after 20 minutes, sorry I did not see the question before. It is a State reg thing. Cribs are for sleeping only.

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Great advice ladies, thank you!

So, in the adjustment phase; if they cry through most of the nap and finally fall asleep say half an hour before nap is over... do you wake them when the designated nap time is over? Or just let them sleep until they wake up on their own?

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After 4-5 months I do CIO, just like I did with my own. Every child I have worked with sleeps with in two weeks. don't pick child up, and be consistent!! Just like PP's have said. I think any child can learn to sleep, with the routine and consistency. My own girls were the hardest, and now are great sleepers. Hang in there, and it will get better!!

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For a child taking two naps and CIO, I wake them up at the same time from their first nap regardless of when they actually feel asleep. For the second nap, I let them sleep as long as they want. Thats what works for us and our routine.

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Awesomely helpful ladies...thank you much!

Catherder--I have that sleep sheep. With the problem kid I had to term, it just ticked her off after 45 minutes because it turned off and the lack of noise woke her up! It seems to be working well with the newbie though.

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1-Do you think a baby like this will eventually adjust, meaning learning to self soothe and take longer naps; with a consistent routine and letting him get his scream on?

Yes, however it's going to take a constant routine on your part. If my toddlers nap, my infants nap. All children nap at the same time here. Getting them to adjust into your daily routine takes about a full month of full time care. If this is only part time care, you're fighting a losing battle...at least until he gets a little older.

2-How long is just too long for a baby to scream while going down for a nap? How long have some of yours taken to get their scream on?

Babies cry because A.) something is wrong or B.) they want attention. Usually B. Infants aren't able to tell you what they want so they cry. They cry because their sad, scared, hurt, teething, hungry, overtired, want attention, etc. If you are a provider, the amount of time you want to listen to them scream is completely up to you. There really is no right or wrong answer to this question. As long as the child is being tended to and you are just trying to get him to adjust, he/she may cry for hours on end if you let him/her. Usually an infant will cry until they exhaust themselves and sleep. This isn't a normal practice I use but if all else has failed trying to get him on a routine, you may want to consider it. Again, it's all a matter of how much you can listen to.

The longest it's taken an infant to adjust to my routine was 3 weeks, the shortest was 2 days. When getting them to adjust, I put them in a near black, very quiet room so they have no distractions. All my kids sleep very good naps everyday.

3-If you think he will eventually adjust, how long does this normally take for a full time 6 mo?

I would give him a full month to adjust. Just remember...it will take daily routine from you to make this work. If you are doing the same things day in and day out and he's not making any progress, he may just be a rage baby and the best thing you can do is term.

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1 - My dd, bless her heart, wouldn't nap AT ALL without me holding her until I started my home daycare when she was 8 months and simply didn't have the option to hold her. So yes. They CAN adjust.

2 - I've only had 1 problem napper and for the first week of CIO he cried for almost an hour. I didn't like it, but it was necessary. I couldn't check on him because it sent him into a complete panic when I left the room again. So when he got quiet, I would turn on a baby monitor REALLY loud so I could make sure I could hear him breathing. Do I like it? Of course, I've never believed that it was my place as a provider to do CIO, however, the kid couldn't NOT nap. He was miserable without it.

3 - Can't answer that, I've never had one younger than 11 months, but my dd adjusted very quickly at 8 months to a strict routine, and I found that as long as I didn't deviate from that routine for ANY reason whatsoever until she got the hang of it, she caught on within a week or 2.

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Yeah, I can "feel" it about to turn off with new transitions.... I have a tendency to push the button without even noticing me do it.

That is why I also have the nap CD going on repeat...to get them over to that and the box fan.

All three of my teens still sleep soundly with the box fans . Gotta love white noise.

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