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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Stop Calling Me After Hours
daycarediva 10:35 AM 04-10-2014
(Yes, I'm yelling it!)

Dcm sent me a text last Saturday, I was outside at the park with my kids and didn't answer it. Then she called, left a message to return her call as soon as possible. I do so.

"Does dcb have a sweatshirt at your house for when it warms up?"
"I don't know, I am not at home. We can check Monday."
"Will you please check as soon as you get home and let me know?"
"No. You can check Monday. He will need a coat anyway, since it's supposed to be cold."

WTF! That was soooo urgent it needs to be dealt with NOW? (Yes, I'm swearing now, too.)

Wednesday of last week I get a phone call from dcm around 8pm asking if dcb bumped his head and where and when he did so since I didn't send home a boo-boo report.
1. Dcb is VERY VERY fair. White hair, white eyelashes, see through skin. Every single time he rubs against something it's red instantly.
2. He is NOT a whiner. He is a BRUISER. Falls, jumps, rolls around, flings himself down, runs without looking, etc. He DOES NOT CRY.

I tell dcm both of those things. She sends me a text/pic. It's VERY LIGHTLY red. Dcd is so concerned he thinks it is an allergic reaction and gives him Benadryl. I say "That looks like it just happened. There is no way it would have been red from 4 hours ago." Dcm drops it.

I HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HER AND DCD Thursday at drop off AND pick up about after hours being MY TIME and to PLEASE not call or text me unless it's an emergency.

Fast forward to last night. She calls right around 8. Dcb has a MASSIVE BRUISE ON HIS HIP! It's HUGE! He says it really hurts! CALL ME BACK ASAP!

*sigh*

I call her back. It's SO massive, what happened, no report, did he bump it? blah blah. I say NOTHING HAPPENED. Changed him at 3:30 for 4pm pickup and saw NOTHING. Ask her to send me a picture.

It's dime sized and YELLOW. I remind her of dcd telling me he fell at grandmas. I remind about MY TIME since she literally interrupted me doing homework for this urgent matter.

I am over the helicopter parenting. They DO NOT let this child play normally, they follow him EVERYWHERE and step in EVERY TIME he MAY be hurt. He is 3.5 and isn't allowed to walk down the 4 stairs off my front porch alone! It's covered in my handbook that occasional bumps and bruises are a normal part of early childhood.

Was it ECS that was doing every single bruise documentation? I am going that route with this family this evening. Along with a copy of that section of my handbook. Child is first drop off, so I am going to strip him, document and have Mom sign, then do the reverse before pickup. So over this.
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Naptime yet? 10:42 AM 04-10-2014
I would be insane. Poor kid.

I had a mom call me 9am on 4th of July last year to see if dcb liked just peanut butter or peanut butter & jelly better. Really? It's that important??? And you mean you don't know yourself???
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Play Care 10:44 AM 04-10-2014
I feel your pain!

Last night I got a call about a hockey stick a child *may* have left here...
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butterfly 10:44 AM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Was it ECS that was doing every single bruise documentation? I am going that route with this family this evening. Along with a copy of that section of my handbook. Child is first drop off, so I am going to strip him, document and have Mom sign, then do the reverse before pickup. So over this.
I would NOT do this personally. Your business and you need to do what you need to do, but I wouldn't. I feel as though this is a HUGE sign of lack of trust. I would have to term and be done. I wouldn't waste my time documenting everything - what if you miss a bump? The documentation isn't going to stop the ridiculous calls after hours - will it?
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Lianne 11:10 AM 04-10-2014
Start billing her. For every phone call or text she sends after hours it's $10. If she requires you to return her call/text, it's $15. Whatever the cost, make it hurt their wallet so she stops.
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Shell 11:15 AM 04-10-2014
That is really annoying. I used to have parents do that. Once I stopped texting, and only answered emails, all the nonsense calls stopped. Do these parents really think this kind of communication is going to continue in elementary school?! No way would that fly, they need a dose of reality!
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coolconfidentme 11:23 AM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by Lianne:
Start billing her. For every phone call or text she sends after hours it's $10. If she requires you to return her call/text, it's $15. Whatever the cost, make it hurt their wallet so she stops.
(giggle, snicker, snort)

I don't answer a text or call until I'm back to work on Monday. Well..., unless they text me at 1am. I then wait until they get comfy in their bed & reply at 4am.

If a parent points out that they called/texted me on Saturday. I reply, "Yeah, I know. That's why I left my cush govt job, I didn't want to be on call 24/7." I follow that up with a big smile.
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Jack Sprat 12:09 PM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by Lianne:
Start billing her. For every phone call or text she sends after hours it's $10. If she requires you to return her call/text, it's $15. Whatever the cost, make it hurt their wallet so she stops.
I had a dcm like this. Every night. One night I didn't answer. She called 23 times. When I did finally return her call she needed me to bring over the diaper cream her husband left here at pick up. I asked her to have her hubby come get it. Well, of course he couldn't he was bowling. Thank goodness I termed them.
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Patches 12:26 PM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by Jack Sprat:
I had a dcm like this. Every night. One night I didn't answer. She called 23 times. When I did finally return her call she needed me to bring over the diaper cream her husband left here at pick up. I asked her to have her hubby come get it. Well, of course he couldn't he was bowling. Thank goodness I termed them.
What in the world?!
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My3cents 12:37 PM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
(Yes, I'm yelling it!)

Dcm sent me a text last Saturday, I was outside at the park with my kids and didn't answer it. Then she called, left a message to return her call as soon as possible. I do so.

"Does dcb have a sweatshirt at your house for when it warms up?"
"I don't know, I am not at home. We can check Monday."
"Will you please check as soon as you get home and let me know?"
"No. You can check Monday. He will need a coat anyway, since it's supposed to be cold."

WTF! That was soooo urgent it needs to be dealt with NOW? (Yes, I'm swearing now, too.)

Wednesday of last week I get a phone call from dcm around 8pm asking if dcb bumped his head and where and when he did so since I didn't send home a boo-boo report.
1. Dcb is VERY VERY fair. White hair, white eyelashes, see through skin. Every single time he rubs against something it's red instantly.
2. He is NOT a whiner. He is a BRUISER. Falls, jumps, rolls around, flings himself down, runs without looking, etc. He DOES NOT CRY.

I tell dcm both of those things. She sends me a text/pic. It's VERY LIGHTLY red. Dcd is so concerned he thinks it is an allergic reaction and gives him Benadryl. I say "That looks like it just happened. There is no way it would have been red from 4 hours ago." Dcm drops it.

I HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HER AND DCD Thursday at drop off AND pick up about after hours being MY TIME and to PLEASE not call or text me unless it's an emergency.

Fast forward to last night. She calls right around 8. Dcb has a MASSIVE BRUISE ON HIS HIP! It's HUGE! He says it really hurts! CALL ME BACK ASAP!

*sigh*

I call her back. It's SO massive, what happened, no report, did he bump it? blah blah. I say NOTHING HAPPENED. Changed him at 3:30 for 4pm pickup and saw NOTHING. Ask her to send me a picture.

It's dime sized and YELLOW. I remind her of dcd telling me he fell at grandmas. I remind about MY TIME since she literally interrupted me doing homework for this urgent matter.

I am over the helicopter parenting. They DO NOT let this child play normally, they follow him EVERYWHERE and step in EVERY TIME he MAY be hurt. He is 3.5 and isn't allowed to walk down the 4 stairs off my front porch alone! It's covered in my handbook that occasional bumps and bruises are a normal part of early childhood.

Was it ECS that was doing every single bruise documentation? I am going that route with this family this evening. Along with a copy of that section of my handbook. Child is first drop off, so I am going to strip him, document and have Mom sign, then do the reverse before pickup. So over this.
Easy fix........don't answer or reply until monday morning or your opening hours. This will get the hint across. If not and the parent ask you why you didn't answer your phone or text. I don't work after hours unless it is an emergency situation. Stop allowing this. I know its uncomfortable when you have to put it back on the parents this way but when you have tried everything else, sometimes blunt is all that is left.

Good luck-
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:39 PM 04-10-2014
It was me and I may still have my "BRUISE LOG" around somewhere if you need to borrow it to make a fantastic looking bruise log folder for you both to utilize. If she questions you over every bruise, that didn't even happen on your time, then I would REQUIRE her to do it as well.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:40 PM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by mrsmichelle:
That is really annoying. I used to have parents do that. Once I stopped texting, and only answered emails, all the nonsense calls stopped. Do these parents really think this kind of communication is going to continue in elementary school?! No way would that fly, they need a dose of reality!
I just started only answering between business hours and it really helps my mental state. My PITA mom loves to call or text every single day because she thinks we are friends????
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kitykids3 12:43 PM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by Jack Sprat:
I had a dcm like this. Every night. One night I didn't answer. She called 23 times. When I did finally return her call she needed me to bring over the diaper cream her husband left here at pick up. I asked her to have her hubby come get it. Well, of course he couldn't he was bowling. Thank goodness I termed them.
wow, the nerve of some people. She'd be lucky if I even answered the phone let alone allow them to tell me to bring something to them. I get texts usually after hours. Sometimes I answer them and sometimes I don't. If I was a store or other type of business, they wouldn't be expecting an answer during closed hours so if I feel I need my ME time, I will address their text when I see them next during my open hours.

With your client I personally would just stop answering or returning her calls after hours. She'll get the hint. You've already told her twice, so now just follow through. Hopefully, she'll get the hint and stop.
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Jack Sprat 01:16 PM 04-10-2014
She was a dandy!

And yes, I ignore many calls in the evening. Doesn't matter who. I answer my families calls but that is about it.
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Cradle2crayons 01:38 PM 04-10-2014
I agree... She keeps calling because you keep answering... Despite the fact you keep reminding her not to do it.

Stop answering the phone.
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Blackcat31 01:45 PM 04-10-2014
I would never ignore a text from a daycare parent.

I would however, reply to the text simply by stating: "ABC Child Care is closed. Please contact us during business hours. Thank you"

I would ignore their phone calls but if they called repeatedly rather than leaving a message, I would have no qualms answering the phone out of breathe and breathing heavily and as if they "caught" me doing something...you know... personal.

I actually have in my handbook a blurb about no communication after hours or on weekends unless it is a true emergency. If they need to tell me something, they can write it down and tell me the next time they drop off.

If they forget something here, then it wasn't important enough for them to remember it so they can wait until the next day to get it.

I don't live in my daycare and I have had a parent call in the evening to tell me DCK left a blankie or lovie at daycare and they "NEED" it... Sorry, Charlie...but their emergency is not MY emergency.
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Play Care 01:47 PM 04-10-2014
Not Diva, but I will say it's hard to not answer the phone because it *could* be an emergency. I always feel the the one time I decide to put my foot down it would be a genuine emergency
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Evansmom 01:52 PM 04-10-2014
I have in my contract that I only answer texts and phone calls during daycare hours and that's only when I'm able to. Kids are my priority and they get my primary attention. It's something I go over from the beginning when we first meet.
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MarinaVanessa 02:00 PM 04-10-2014
One reason why I LOVE Google voice ... I have calls transfered to my cell and home phone, when daycare is closed I can turn it off. I don't always turn it off but I do ignore texts on weekends and evenings sometimes. When I do I say that I had it turned off. I do turn it off when I'm away for the weekend or at a family event.
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Unregistered 09:07 PM 04-10-2014
I had a DCD call this morning at 7;00 am to see if I could take his child... Mind you my kids today don't get here till 9:00... My BF and I were not happy and DCD dosen't have a clue. He came by last week for an interview and didn't want to waste my paperwork by taking it home. GRRRRR!
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boysx5 07:32 AM 04-11-2014
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I would NOT do this personally. Your business and you need to do what you need to do, but I wouldn't. I feel as though this is a HUGE sign of lack of trust. I would have to term and be done. I wouldn't waste my time documenting everything - what if you miss a bump? The documentation isn't going to stop the ridiculous calls after hours - will it?
I couldn't agree more
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daycarediva 08:23 AM 04-11-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Not Diva, but I will say it's hard to not answer the phone because it *could* be an emergency. I always feel the the one time I decide to put my foot down it would be a genuine emergency
That is my concern. Dcb has chronic asthma. He is often in the ER (since Mom panics when he has a bad attack).

I told her I wont be answering from now on. That we can start documenting, or she can start signing the daily health check form, or we can let kids be kids and not be hyper concerned about minor injuries.

She got the point, backpedaled, knows dcb is safe and in good hands (I have this in print. Yay email) and does not want to document.

ANNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD dcb fell today on our walk. Nice scraped up elbow and a knee (he doesn't stop his falls) Sooooo we'll see now.
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Moppetland 08:54 AM 04-11-2014
Do you know any businesses that answer phones after hours?

How about day care centers? Will a parent call the center if they forgot to get their DCK sweater out of their cubby, and really expect a teacher to answer or return their call at 1:00am in the morning? or at 12:00pm on a Saturday if they're closed?

Will a parent call the elementary school after hours, expecting for someone to pick up and answer their question about their child maybe falling on the playground that day, and the school closed 6 hours ago?

Therefore, in order for DCPs to respect your business as a business, then we must relieve ourselves of the unnecessary stress, and just don't allow it.

I have a separate number for my parents to call on. And I don't go near that phone after hours or on days I'm not opened. I have a family too, and there must be limits set. I'm just saying.
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sharlan 09:03 AM 04-11-2014
My dcfs do not have my home number, only my cell. I leave my cell downstairs at night, so they can call or text all they want. I won't see it until I come downstairs in the morning.
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Heidi 09:08 AM 04-11-2014
You know, this never used to bother me much, but lately there's been a lot of texts on weekends and evenings for stuff that isn't really even my problem to solve.

Like...why isn't the back-up sub (who is also my sub) answering my calls? or (another mom) texting me that dcb fell and split his lip (at home) and also wanting to know about her authorization. This one kills me, because she's almost always on her cellphone (ear piece) at drop offs and pick ups. So....you can't talk to me then?
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Play Care 11:49 AM 04-11-2014
Originally Posted by Moppetland:
Do you know any businesses that answer phones after hours?

How about day care centers? Will a parent call the center if they forgot to get their DCK sweater out of their cubby, and really expect a teacher to answer or return their call at 1:00am in the morning? or at 12:00pm on a Saturday if they're closed?

Will a parent call the elementary school after hours, expecting for someone to pick up and answer their question about their child maybe falling on the playground that day, and the school closed 6 hours ago?

Therefore, in order for DCPs to respect your business as a business, then we must relieve ourselves of the unnecessary stress, and just don't allow it.

I have a separate number for my parents to call on. And I don't go near that phone after hours or on days I'm not opened. I have a family too, and there must be limits set. I'm just saying.
I do agree to an extent. But I also think many parents choose in homes over center care for the more personal service. Now I don't think that means you need to be on call 24/7, but I do think some give and take is a must.
Of course I haven't had major issues with evening/weekend calls, and if I did I'd address it directly. I've found that being ten years into this, I'm actually less inclined to make blanket policies (NO CALL ON WEEKENDS!) as I've found myself backed into a corner a lot in the early years because of it. I'm much more likely to see how things play out now.
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cheerfuldom 12:01 PM 04-11-2014
I dont have an issue with the after hours stuff but that said, I have a small group and non-dramatic parents. Every now and then there is a set of parents that I will ignore. The ones that are so needy and everything is an emergency. It is pretty rare that they dont get the hint after awhile. I have never had a parent that called me 23 times. Now that, I would be all over. Strict/firm discussion in person with the clarification that this is NOT allowed and another incidence will be termination. I would not tolerate that at all!
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melilley 12:18 PM 04-11-2014
Originally Posted by mrsmichelle:
That is really annoying. I used to have parents do that. Once I stopped texting, and only answered emails, all the nonsense calls stopped. Do these parents really think this kind of communication is going to continue in elementary school?! No way would that fly, they need a dose of reality!


I have one dcm who once had the nerve to come in on her cell phone, mouth "thank you" to me and take dcb and leave. Then about an hour later, calls me to ask something about his day. She has also called or has sent a text after hours a few times after that.
After that, I learned not to answer any of her texts or calls after hours. She hasn't done it in a long time.
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blandino 12:48 PM 04-11-2014
I am also at this point with this. Two weekends ago I had a DCD text on a Saturday requesting a new copy of his tax statement to be emailed. Ordinarily, I would have done it right then. But I told him I would do it on Monday. I think he got my drift.

I am already available to these parents 52.5 hours a week. It is their lack of organization that makes them need to contact me after hours. My favorite saying is "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine".

I am about to send out a letter say ing that any requests for statements/signed papers/ cafeteria plan forms, etc - will all be done on Mondays, (I do all my daycare paperwork on Mondays). If you ask on Tuesday, it will be done the following Monday.


A few weeks ago I had a DCM call me on a Saturday to tell me about DCG's symptoms. It's like they forget that this is my JOB. If I am considered "on-call" then I should get paid for it
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Starburst 01:30 PM 04-11-2014
Originally Posted by Naptime yet?:
I would be insane. Poor kid.

I had a mom call me 9am on 4th of July last year to see if dcb liked just peanut butter or peanut butter & jelly better. Really? It's that important??? And you mean you don't know yourself???
That just goes to show that she knows you know her kid better than she does. Which is kind of sad...
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Second Home 01:41 PM 04-11-2014
I have been having issues like this with one set of dcp . They do not communicate and dcd is always texting after hours to find out things , did dcm pay , did dcg come on xx day .

unless it is an emergency I wait until the next business day .
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Unregistered 02:00 PM 04-11-2014
I have one dcd who picks up dck, checks in with me and leaves. Then ten minutes later my phone rings and he wants to know how dcks day was. ??? I stopped answering the call. Talk to me when you're here. Oh that's right, you already did!
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DaisyMamma 03:44 PM 04-11-2014
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I would NOT do this personally. Your business and you need to do what you need to do, but I wouldn't. I feel as though this is a HUGE sign of lack of trust. I would have to term and be done. I wouldn't waste my time documenting everything - what if you miss a bump? The documentation isn't going to stop the ridiculous calls after hours - will it?
That sums it up.

Originally Posted by Lianne:
Start billing her. For every phone call or text she sends after hours it's $10. If she requires you to return her call/text, it's $15. Whatever the cost, make it hurt their wallet so she stops.


Originally Posted by Jack Sprat:
I had a dcm like this. Every night. One night I didn't answer. She called 23 times. When I did finally return her call she needed me to bring over the diaper cream her husband left here at pick up. I asked her to have her hubby come get it. Well, of course he couldn't he was bowling. Thank goodness I termed them.
I would have termed right then and there on the phone. Are you frigging kidding me?! NO
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daycare 03:52 PM 04-11-2014
Originally Posted by My3cents:
Easy fix........don't answer or reply until monday morning or your opening hours. This will get the hint across. If not and the parent ask you why you didn't answer your phone or text. I don't work after hours unless it is an emergency situation. Stop allowing this. I know its uncomfortable when you have to put it back on the parents this way but when you have tried everything else, sometimes blunt is all that is left.

Good luck-
exactly this. I just don't answer at all. I have had parents recently call or text me demanding their tax forms. I don't reply and then will just resume back to business as usual on Monday. It is in my PHB our hours of operation are m-f 7am to 6pm. ON my voice-mail it says, our hours of operation are M-F 7am to 6pm, if you are calling after this time please leave a brief message and someone will be sure to return your call when we reopen during our normal hours of operation.

I don't play that game.

I think it is MV that has a google phone set up attached to her cell. On weekends she forwards all calls to her google phone, or something like this.

I have google phone and I use it when I leave the daycare so that the parents do not have my employees phone number.
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DaisyMamma 05:49 PM 04-11-2014
I texted dcm about all important things yesterday since I wouldn't see her until Monday and no response... until today, Friday, at 5:35. No, I did not respond to her question.
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Heidi 05:57 PM 04-11-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
I texted dcm about all important things yesterday since I wouldn't see her until Monday and no response... until today, Friday, at 5:35. No, I did not respond to her question.
Ha!

Some people...
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Tags:after hours - phone call, drama - parent
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