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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>OMG it’s 7am!
DaycareDays126 05:12 AM 10-23-2017
This is more of a vent so I don’t lose my mind but I cannot stand when kids come in screaming and throwing fits at 7am waking up everyone in the house!!! Happy...Monday...
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Cat Herder 05:32 AM 10-23-2017
Sorry, I dread those days, too. Hope your day gets better.
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Blackcat31 08:04 AM 10-23-2017
Yeah, Mondays are tough....

Everyone is emotional and cranky and running on only a few hours of sleep.

It's basically a kid version of a hang over.
Too much running around on the weekend
Too much coddling
Too much junk food
Too much TV/iPad/video gaming etc
Too much of everything except sound sleep, good exercise and healthy food.

Hoping the rest of the week is better for all!
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Cat Herder 08:21 AM 10-23-2017
It is now round two of Poopapalooza, here. Guess it was autumn chili fest this weekend.

Turkey, sweet potatos, snap peas and brown rice for lunch should help. Early lunch. Early to nap.

Rain on.
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MarinaVanessa 08:24 AM 10-23-2017
I have one family that I meet out on the porch because they come at 9am and that's the time that one of my babies takes her morning nap. She's feisty and can sometimes take me a bit to get her down in the morning and if she doesn't nap well she's impossibly cranky all day long. DCB comes in the mornings whining and hollering (he's not crying, there are no tears) and would wake the baby. I finally had to implement bye bye outside.
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storybookending 08:34 AM 10-23-2017
I think I’m the only one here that loves Mondays. I only keep 6 kids due to current ages and my only sibling set not attend on Mondays. I spend my Mondays with only 4 kids every week.

I was busy this weekend and put off a few of the chores. I vacuumed while they played in the next room this morning and later on I need to clean the bathrooms. Monday is my catch up day on things I put off on the weekends. After afternoon snack I load them all up in the quad stroller for a nice long walk. Everyone is typically gone by 4:45 but I have my niece until 5:30 tonight as her mom and I are doing dinner with old coworkers from the center and she needs to go home to get her run in so dad is picking up. I live close to a school and my niece thinks it’s so fun to run around the track. I’d do it with all of them but my stroller doesn’t fit through the gate.
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DaycareDays126 05:21 AM 10-25-2017
And she’s at it again! We had this issue years ago when they first started here. It’ll stop for a while, then mom gives in to whatever the issue is and it starts alllllll over again. Mom has a problem with following “bye bye outside” rules and it makes it so much worse! She also thinks it’s a serious inconvienience when she has to actually parent her children instead of (what I feel) letting me do it or just giving her children whatever they want. At their home, they are nightmares, but somehow they act appropriately when they’re here (hmmm). Is it ok for me to tell her to bring her child home when she’s screaming at the top of her lungs in the morning until she gets it together (especially since dad is home...but that’s a WHOLE different story)? I understand mom has to go to work but shouldn’t I be able to start my day stress free once in a while? I’m sick of being the only one with any expectations for these kids when what happens at home flows to my house.
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MarinaVanessa 12:46 PM 10-25-2017
Don't let her in and don't allow her to have a problem with following the bye-bye outside process. Meet her at the door and stop her right there, take the child and close the door. Then you can handle her accordingly. You can have her sit in a quiet space with no toys except for maybe a plushie and she can work out her emotions and join the group/play when she's ready (aka isn't screaming and yelling). Talk to her briefly about not coming in like that and then release her to play.

Obviously DCM isn't going to take charge so you'll have to. If she doesn't like bye-bye outside then she'll have to follow your lead and act accordingly, like everybody else. Right now it seems like she's doing what's easier because she can. Not much you can do about it except shorten the crying in the AM by separating them from each other quickly.

How are the other kids? Sometimes kids like this can affect the whole group and stress them all out. And it sounds like you're stressed out. Hope you have a nice full bottle of wine for tonight
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Blackcat31 01:20 PM 10-25-2017
I agree with MV ^^^

I'd tell mom straight up that she is NOT to enter your home until the child is quiet.

You should not have to begin your day with that...especially since you didn't cause it.

Put your foot down and deny entrance unless she is quiet.
Mom can bribe her, pay her, reward her, threaten her, whatever...just so long as she enters quietly.

If she starts screeching I'd quickly say "Oh-oh! It looks like someone needs to go back to the car and try again."

...or you could always fall back onto the old line of thinking that $ is the only thing that gets a parents attention and start charging a fee for "loud" drop offs.

Parent's choice ^^
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DaycareDays126 02:57 PM 10-25-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I agree with MV ^^^

I'd tell mom straight up that she is NOT to enter your home until the child is quiet.

You should not have to begin your day with that...especially since you didn't cause it.

Put your foot down and deny entrance unless she is quiet.
Mom can bribe her, pay her, reward her, threaten her, whatever...just so long as she enters quietly.

If she starts screeching I'd quickly say "Oh-oh! It looks like someone needs to go back to the car and try again."

...or you could always fall back onto the old line of thinking that $ is the only thing that gets a parents attention and start charging a fee for "loud" drop offs.
  • Quiet = no fee
  • Whining = $5 CASH
  • Crying = $10 CASH
  • Screaming = $50 CASH or "NO ENTRY"

Parent's choice ^^
I love this! Lol
Thank you both for the advice. Her and her sister are the first ones here in the morning for a little while so luckily it doesn’t stress out anyone else (but me!). What I do in this case is she goes and sits on the couch by herself while I start doing things with her sister, she can scream and cry all she wants with no attention, and when she’s ready she can join us. She usually stops within a minute of her mom leaving but these last two times she’s been very...persistent. Although it’s EXTREMELY frustrating first thing in the morning, I can handle it. I think most of the stress is coming from mom having an issue with her kids and dropping it off on me. I’m going to tell her from now on she cannot come in and the child can’t come in if she’s screaming too!

*sigh of relief*

This forum always makes me feel better!
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DaycareDays126 05:52 AM 10-26-2017
Today I met them in the garage, mom was carrying the crying child, and I told her that she needs to take her child until she gets it together. I simply stated that I am no longer willing to take care of issues I did not create. I brought the other child inside, and told her when the other one is ready to drop her off at the door. My morning has started off sooo much better!

As for her...probably not. It’s been an hour and they’re still not back.

I am assuming what will happen instead of the parents dealing with the issue (in whatever way they choose) they will just keep her home, giving her exactly what she wants. Terrible idea because that is just reinforcing this behavior, but now I will give the issue back to mom. They will eventually figure out how to handle it, or try to find another place for care that will be willing to deal with it for them. Perfect use for the phrase “sorry not sorry”!

Thanks again for the push I needed!
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DaycareDays126 06:42 AM 10-26-2017
And she decided that by me telling her that I won’t deal with the problems I didn’t create I was rude to her and her child and she won’t be bringing her back.

This family does not like not getting their own way.
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Cat Herder 06:51 AM 10-26-2017
I am so sorry.

Sounds like Mom liked the drama and you dodged an even bigger bullet.

The "mama loves baby, baby loves mama, cry for me so I feel missed" show gets really old, really fast. Classic, but oldddddd.
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Cat Herder 07:02 AM 10-26-2017
https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/the-...in-daycare.htm

Worth the read.
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Blackcat31 07:31 AM 10-26-2017
Originally Posted by DaycareDays126:
And she decided that by me telling her that I won’t deal with the problems I didn’t create I was rude to her and her child and she won’t be bringing her back.

This family does not like not getting their own way.
Ugh! I am sorry..

But please know you were NOT rude! Mom just doesn't like being told no any more than her child does apparently.

This won't be the last time this mom hears no.

You mentioned taking the other child inside....does this family have more than one child?
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DaycareDays126 07:50 AM 10-26-2017
Yes, there are two. 3 years old (screamer) & 5 years old (she was here until she got on the bus). I’ve been caring for them for almost 2 years.

I don’t feel like I was rude at all. I actually feel great about the way I handled it. Although, whenever this happens I can’t help but just feel like crap. Especially with this family who I have gone waaayyy above and beyond for. Getting the screaming under control (until again recently), kids are here from open-close every day, just today mom asked me to make older child’s lunch because she “didn’t have anything to give her”, and just this past weekend I took them to the park (on my day off) to play with an old daycare friend. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help but just feel really screwed over all because they don’t like the word “NO”.

Dad has said to leave their things in the driveway and he will get them. I responded with, I have no problem putting your things in the driveway if you don’t want to make the exchange at the door after I receive payment for the services I have given. I know...baaaddd idea to not get two weeks upfront (face palm)! If they throw I fit about it I will probably just call it a loss rather than dwell on this family any longer.
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Cat Herder 08:03 AM 10-26-2017
It is a common theme that the families we do the most for respect us the least and act out the worst when presented with a no.

That is why so many refuse to do "special", not because they are lazy but because it sets up an unrealistic expectation.

Special is only seen as special to you. When they act entitled to it, you feel hurt and used. They won't even remember it was ever special. Resentment has ruined many daycare relationships.
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amberrose3dg 08:11 AM 10-26-2017
That sucks, I have had families like that. It is frustrating that they use you and the second you stand up for yourself they are out the door. I would tell them since they gave you notice they still owe for two weeks even if they don't use the time.

I had a mom one time knew I didn't do late drop offs tried to drop her son off at 1130 in the middle of lunch(her drop off time was supposed to be 630am). No phone call nothing. I refused at the door and told her she couldn't drop off that late. Keep in mind I cut her a major discount.(30 bucks a week, he was supposed to start pre-school and she never enrolled him) She would leave him here open to close when he was only supposed to be here 8 hours instead of the 11 he was almost always here. She gave me notice because I was mean in front of her son. She said it was a medical emergency is why she didn't text or call. Ok it was such a big emergency you are going to work in the middle of the the day after a big emergency? No she was off and he was bugging her so she wanted to drop him off. I dodged a serious bullet. She was 8 months pregnant and I'm sure would of left with me with that infant 11 hours a day too.
I have learned a lot and the biggest thing is being nice and letting people get over will only cause you problems down the road.
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daycarediva 11:00 AM 10-26-2017
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I am so sorry.

Sounds like Mom liked the drama and you dodged an even bigger bullet.

The "mama loves baby, baby loves mama, cry for me so I feel missed" show gets really old, really fast. Classic, but oldddddd.
YES. I get SO SICK of that.
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Sweet pea 11:58 AM 10-26-2017
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
YES. I get SO SICK of that.
Yep, you’ve said it perfectly
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Tags:drama - parent, monday blues, special requests, special snowflake, special treatment, the dynamic of bad behavior, unrealistic expectations
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