kayla 05:08 PM 03-08-2012
Ok I have had dcb 1 yr since he was 4 mos. I just recently started a new dcb girl whose 8 mos. Well i'm wondering if he is not jealous. He started hitting. My dh said he thinks is cause he's not used to sharing me with anyone.. He acts super winy when she is here, any other time he is fine. My question is what can I do? It's not like i'm only showing one kid attention. They are both getting my time. Not sure what to do, told the mom and she kinda said in a snotty voice "it's probably because you took on that other baby"... ughh help
I have had that problem many times. Whenever a new baby comes in and "takes the place" of the youngest one who is now 12 to 18 mos or more, they get jealous. I just have them participate as much as reasonably possible. I have them place the burp cloth on my shoulder, "hold" the bottle for 10 sec or so (I'm making sure it's properly placed, but they feel like they're holding it), talk to the older one the whole time I'm doing things with the baby - like explaining what I'm doing.... things like that. Makes them feel a part of things and not like they've been pushed aside for someone new. After awhile they get bored of it and find something else to do. It will pass, but it breaks your heart in the meantime!!
kayla 04:54 AM 03-09-2012
Thanks lucy
nannyde 06:11 AM 03-09-2012
I haven't seen jealousy in toddlers before. I wonder if you are interpreting it as jealousy when it's dominance?
The Mom's reaction was disrespectful. You need to make it clear to her that you took THAT baby because it was either that or raise her rates for HER baby. If she would rather pay a higher weekly rate you would be happy to just keep HER baby. Give her a timeline to let you know what she would like.
kayla 06:25 AM 03-09-2012
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I haven't seen jealousy in toddlers before. I wonder if you are interpreting it as jealousy when it's dominance?
The Mom's reaction was disrespectful. You need to make it clear to her that you took THAT baby because it was either that or raise her rates for HER baby. If she would rather pay a higher weekly rate you would be happy to just keep HER baby. Give her a timeline to let you know what she would like.
What can i do to treat this dominance??? And i'm sure she would freak if i told her that lol... The next time she says something though I will use that because i'm sure it would stop her from saying any rude remarks..
cheerfuldom 09:01 AM 03-09-2012
I dont tell the parents about any issue that I can solve at daycare. The mom of the 1 year old cant help because she is not there to see the behavior or care for two babies at a time. I would only mention it to her if she can do something about it or if the problem was serious enough to terminate. Otherwise, it will just seem like complaining and criticizing in her point of view.
Its better to go here for advice!
I should clarify --- for me, it hasn't been hitting or any kind of misbehavior. It was just the way the toddler looks at me when I would feed the new one. Kind of like you could read it on your face that this new creature was taking her place with ME. It was more of a sadness, and not an acting out. Didn't really explain myself well. Sorry!
However, I still think my advice would help with the acting out. It still could be because of feeling like the new one is taking your attention away. So get the toddler involved in the new one WITH you. (Obviously in small and safe ways!)
cheerfuldom 12:29 PM 03-09-2012
Originally Posted by Lucy:
I should clarify --- for me, it hasn't been hitting or any kind of misbehavior. It was just the way the toddler looks at me when I would feed the new one. Kind of like you could read it on your face that this new creature was taking her place with ME. It was more of a sadness, and not an acting out. Didn't really explain myself well. Sorry!
However, I still think my advice would help with the acting out. It still could be because of feeling like the new one is taking your attention away. So get the toddler involved in the new one WITH you. (Obviously in small and safe ways!)
I think this is great advice when you are the PARENT of siblings. Having a daycare toddler help with a daycare baby is setting a precedence that the toddler is in charge of the baby. There is a liability involved there is the toddler would be "over helpful" and accidentally hurt the baby. I don't allow my daycare kids to touch, care for or help me with the baby, ever.
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I think this is great advice when you are the PARENT of siblings. Having a daycare toddler help with a daycare baby is setting a precedence that the toddler is in charge of the baby. There is a liability involved there is the toddler would be "over helpful" and accidentally hurt the baby. I don't allow my daycare kids to touch, care for or help me with the baby, ever.
I knew someone would say that, which is why I added, "in small, safe ways". I am talking SMALL. Sit next to you as you feed, carry the diaper to the changing area, etc. Of course the baby would never be in harm's way!!!