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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Would You Do... Family Care
TheGoodLife 11:39 AM 03-07-2013
So I got a text from my SIL (who I can't stand due to taking advantage of me and my DH while babysitting her kids, as well as badmouthing us to my inlaws and other rude behaviors). She asked if I could watch her girls tomorrow if my BIL is called in to work. I get the feeling she wants to just drop them off. I'd except the same payment I get from any other drop in kids since its daycare hours. Just curious, what would you do- charge or no charge? (I think I'm going to tell her I got another call from a drop in family and just not deal with it, but I haven't decided)
butterfly 11:49 AM 03-07-2013
During daycare - charged for daycare.
Zoe 11:50 AM 03-07-2013
If she has tried to take advantage of you and has bad mouthed you then be honest! Say hey SIL! I can't watch your children during daycare hours because you've shown me that you can't respect my business!
Or if you're not that straightforward (it can be hard to do with family) then tell her you have a conflict and can't. you don't have to say that the conflict is that she's not a good client.
Or if you're not that straightforward (it can be hard to do with family) then tell her you have a conflict and can't. you don't have to say that the conflict is that she's not a good client.
NeedaVaca 11:53 AM 03-07-2013
I would charge but to be honest, it doesn't sound like she treats you all that well...takes advantage, rude, the bad mouthing. I wouldn't do it at all, why do her any special favors? Nice people-I love to help out! Rude-nope sorry don't have space.
Blackcat31 11:53 AM 03-07-2013
No way! You aren't just sitting home watching Young & the Restless and eating bon-bons....
You are working!
Working means getting paid for your services and honestly, if I dis-liked my SIL for the reasons you listed, there is no way I would "help" her out.
I used to watch my sister's children in daycare but she paid me like everyone else did.
My brother is an electrician. I certainly do not call him and expect him to do my electrical work for free. We "HIRED" (for money) him to come wire our house when we built it though.
You are working! Working means getting paid for your services and honestly, if I dis-liked my SIL for the reasons you listed, there is no way I would "help" her out.
I used to watch my sister's children in daycare but she paid me like everyone else did.
My brother is an electrician. I certainly do not call him and expect him to do my electrical work for free. We "HIRED" (for money) him to come wire our house when we built it though.
mbullette 11:57 AM 03-07-2013
Charge her exactly what you would charge any other family. Just because you are family doesn't mean you watch their kids for free. If you don't charge they are going to take advantage of you.
Starburst 11:58 AM 03-07-2013
I either wouldn't watch them or tell her I want to know how long they are going to stay for and she must pay upfront at drop-off (since many drop ins pay on the day of service anyway) ONLY if you have the space- if you don't don't risk getting in trouble for her. And, if she doesn't have the money than you will not be taking the kids. If she tries to drop them off and leave without paying you and you didn't agree to it call CPS because that is technically child abandonment. Probably won't happen, but I knew a provider who had clients who were behind on payments and she told them she couldn't watch their daughter (preschooler) until they caught up on payments and a few times they littlerally just opened the gate to the backyard (the daycare entrence) and just left 
.
.
LK5kids 11:59 AM 03-07-2013
I had a SIL like that and my advice is just don't deal with her!
My SIL did have her daughter come to me for child care and at least she paid me!
Then she divorced my husband's brother and I also got a divorce and she all of a sudden wanted to be my best friend! Weird!
My SIL did have her daughter come to me for child care and at least she paid me!
Then she divorced my husband's brother and I also got a divorce and she all of a sudden wanted to be my best friend! Weird!
itlw8 12:26 PM 03-07-2013
I would charge my sis or sil... YOURS I think I would not have room. text back I am sorry I do not have room. Besides she should have called to request not text.
MarinaVanessa 12:40 PM 03-07-2013
My response would be:
"HECK YEAH!! I miss those sweet honey pots! It's $45 a day per child for the full day or $6 an hour per kid if they'll be here less than 8 hours"
And wait .....
"You're going to charge me?"
"Yep, I have to. It's during business hours and if I accept them then I'd have to say no to other clients to make room. If it was after hours then it might have been a different story"
Last time she asks you to watch her kids for nothing during daycare hours I promise. Maybe you can give her a discount (if you feel up for it).
I watch my nephew (my SIL's son) and I give her a HUGE discount that's pretty much only enough to cover his meals and supplies that he uses but I chose to do this because she's not exactly the most responsible parent and would be the type of parent to leave him with someone that was cheap vs somewhere where he was safe. (she has left him with her son's father's younger brother and he would pick on and aggravate him and his 10yo older brother and rough house with them). So I prefer to have him here and make it worth her while rather than him be somewhere where he was miserable. BUT I DON"T DO IT FOR FREE. On weekends if she wants us to watch her kids so she can do whatever then we will keep track and trade off so that hubs and I can spend time together (she watches my kids here at my house or at my MIL's house), I NEVER watch ANYONE's kids without getting something in return.
"HECK YEAH!! I miss those sweet honey pots! It's $45 a day per child for the full day or $6 an hour per kid if they'll be here less than 8 hours"
And wait .....
"You're going to charge me?"
"Yep, I have to. It's during business hours and if I accept them then I'd have to say no to other clients to make room. If it was after hours then it might have been a different story"
Last time she asks you to watch her kids for nothing during daycare hours I promise. Maybe you can give her a discount (if you feel up for it).
I watch my nephew (my SIL's son) and I give her a HUGE discount that's pretty much only enough to cover his meals and supplies that he uses but I chose to do this because she's not exactly the most responsible parent and would be the type of parent to leave him with someone that was cheap vs somewhere where he was safe. (she has left him with her son's father's younger brother and he would pick on and aggravate him and his 10yo older brother and rough house with them). So I prefer to have him here and make it worth her while rather than him be somewhere where he was miserable. BUT I DON"T DO IT FOR FREE. On weekends if she wants us to watch her kids so she can do whatever then we will keep track and trade off so that hubs and I can spend time together (she watches my kids here at my house or at my MIL's house), I NEVER watch ANYONE's kids without getting something in return.
bunnyslippers 01:17 PM 03-07-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
My response would be:
"HECK YEAH!! I miss those sweet honey pots! It's $45 a day per child for the full day or $6 an hour per kid if they'll be here less than 8 hours"
And wait .....
"You're going to charge me?"
"Yep, I have to. It's during business hours and if I accept them then I'd have to say no to other clients to make room. If it was after hours then it might have been a different story"
Last time she asks you to watch her kids for nothing during daycare hours I promise. Maybe you can give her a discount (if you feel up for it).
I watch my nephew (my SIL's son) and I give her a HUGE discount that's pretty much only enough to cover his meals and supplies that he uses but I chose to do this because she's not exactly the most responsible parent and would be the type of parent to leave him with someone that was cheap vs somewhere where he was safe. (she has left him with her son's father's younger brother and he would pick on and aggravate him and his 10yo older brother and rough house with them). So I prefer to have him here and make it worth her while rather than him be somewhere where he was miserable. BUT I DON"T DO IT FOR FREE. On weekends if she wants us to watch her kids so she can do whatever then we will keep track and trade off so that hubs and I can spend time together (she watches my kids here at my house or at my MIL's house), I NEVER watch ANYONE's kids without getting something in return.
This exactly.My response would be:
"HECK YEAH!! I miss those sweet honey pots! It's $45 a day per child for the full day or $6 an hour per kid if they'll be here less than 8 hours"
And wait .....
"You're going to charge me?"
"Yep, I have to. It's during business hours and if I accept them then I'd have to say no to other clients to make room. If it was after hours then it might have been a different story"
Last time she asks you to watch her kids for nothing during daycare hours I promise. Maybe you can give her a discount (if you feel up for it).
I watch my nephew (my SIL's son) and I give her a HUGE discount that's pretty much only enough to cover his meals and supplies that he uses but I chose to do this because she's not exactly the most responsible parent and would be the type of parent to leave him with someone that was cheap vs somewhere where he was safe. (she has left him with her son's father's younger brother and he would pick on and aggravate him and his 10yo older brother and rough house with them). So I prefer to have him here and make it worth her while rather than him be somewhere where he was miserable. BUT I DON"T DO IT FOR FREE. On weekends if she wants us to watch her kids so she can do whatever then we will keep track and trade off so that hubs and I can spend time together (she watches my kids here at my house or at my MIL's house), I NEVER watch ANYONE's kids without getting something in return.
momofboys 01:23 PM 03-07-2013
Just say you are already at capacity, that is what I would do! So, what did you do?
Sugar Magnolia 04:42 PM 03-07-2013
Don't walk.... RUN For THE HILLS!!
Sprouts 06:40 PM 03-07-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
My response would be:
"HECK YEAH!! I miss those sweet honey pots! It's $45 a day per child for the full day or $6 an hour per kid if they'll be here less than 8 hours"
And wait .....
"You're going to charge me?"
"Yep, I have to. It's during business hours and if I accept them then I'd have to say no to other clients to make room. If it was after hours then it might have been a different story"
Last time she asks you to watch her kids for nothing during daycare hours I promise. Maybe you can give her a discount (if you feel up for it).
I watch my nephew (my SIL's son) and I give her a HUGE discount that's pretty much only enough to cover his meals and supplies that he uses but I chose to do this because she's not exactly the most responsible parent and would be the type of parent to leave him with someone that was cheap vs somewhere where he was safe. (she has left him with her son's father's younger brother and he would pick on and aggravate him and his 10yo older brother and rough house with them). So I prefer to have him here and make it worth her while rather than him be somewhere where he was miserable. BUT I DON"T DO IT FOR FREE. On weekends if she wants us to watch her kids so she can do whatever then we will keep track and trade off so that hubs and I can spend time together (she watches my kids here at my house or at my MIL's house), I NEVER watch ANYONE's kids without getting something in return.
My response would be:
"HECK YEAH!! I miss those sweet honey pots! It's $45 a day per child for the full day or $6 an hour per kid if they'll be here less than 8 hours"
And wait .....
"You're going to charge me?"
"Yep, I have to. It's during business hours and if I accept them then I'd have to say no to other clients to make room. If it was after hours then it might have been a different story"
Last time she asks you to watch her kids for nothing during daycare hours I promise. Maybe you can give her a discount (if you feel up for it).
I watch my nephew (my SIL's son) and I give her a HUGE discount that's pretty much only enough to cover his meals and supplies that he uses but I chose to do this because she's not exactly the most responsible parent and would be the type of parent to leave him with someone that was cheap vs somewhere where he was safe. (she has left him with her son's father's younger brother and he would pick on and aggravate him and his 10yo older brother and rough house with them). So I prefer to have him here and make it worth her while rather than him be somewhere where he was miserable. BUT I DON"T DO IT FOR FREE. On weekends if she wants us to watch her kids so she can do whatever then we will keep track and trade off so that hubs and I can spend time together (she watches my kids here at my house or at my MIL's house), I NEVER watch ANYONE's kids without getting something in return.
Lol good one
TheGoodLife 07:01 PM 03-07-2013
Ahh, so even more dilemma- my DH respectfully reminded me that "I can so what I want..." but that his brother HAS come to work on our sprinkler system for free and plans to come out this spring to set it up again... 
And now my only drop-ins scheduled called and cancelled on me due to the DCD being sick and DCM canceling her sub job. Second time she's cancelled within 24 hours of my policy (supposed to pay) and she acted surprised/ mildly upset about my telling her I would still charge... anyways, that's another story! I'm still stuck between offering to help my SIL for a lesser charge, but not free!, or sticking to my capacity story and taking a day off. I'd love to see my nieces w/o my SIL- IDK what to do
And now my only drop-ins scheduled called and cancelled on me due to the DCD being sick and DCM canceling her sub job. Second time she's cancelled within 24 hours of my policy (supposed to pay) and she acted surprised/ mildly upset about my telling her I would still charge... anyways, that's another story! I'm still stuck between offering to help my SIL for a lesser charge, but not free!, or sticking to my capacity story and taking a day off. I'd love to see my nieces w/o my SIL- IDK what to do
NeedaVaca 04:47 AM 03-08-2013
You need to make the decision but I wouldn't base it on the sprinkler help...I feel like that is between your husband and his brother. Why should something they worked out effect your job? It also sounds like you have done things for them or they wouldn't have had something to take advantage of. If they were as rude as you described I would say no...
Springdaze 05:37 AM 03-08-2013
kinda off topic, but I like that distinction, during work hours is paid, otherwise is a different story. sometimes I fell funny because close friends dont charge me when they watch mine, but i charge them. of course when they watch mine its not regularly
NeedaVaca 05:42 AM 03-08-2013
Originally Posted by Springdaze:
kinda off topic, but I like that distinction, during work hours is paid, otherwise is a different story. sometimes I fell funny because close friends dont charge me when they watch mine, but i charge them. of course when they watch mine its not regularly
I think if a friend watches your kids for free then that favor should be returned. If you have to charge them when you watch their kids and they won't charge you then you should bring them a token of some sort, a bottle of wine or another small gift they would appreciate.kinda off topic, but I like that distinction, during work hours is paid, otherwise is a different story. sometimes I fell funny because close friends dont charge me when they watch mine, but i charge them. of course when they watch mine its not regularly