Daycare.com Forum
Parents and Guardians Forum>Not Allowed to Breastfeed at Daycare
Unregistered 09:35 PM 05-04-2009
I have a scenario in which the in-home provider is refusing to allow a parent to come in and breastfeed her child at the home. This person has been planning for 6 months to bring the newborn to this daycare and the week prior to the newborn starting daycare, when the mother mentioned coming in and nursing the child at noon, the provider told her that it would be too disruptive to the other children who go down for a nap around noon. The mother offered to nurse out on the patio or in her car, but the provider wouldn't compromise. My first question is whether or not it is legal to deny a parent access to their baby and allow them to breastfeed?
Secondly, when the mother called the daycare provider to discuss the situation she told the provider that she was hoping to be able to work out a suitable arrangement or else she would have to take the baby, along with their other child, to another daycare where her efforts to breastfeed would be supported. Again, the provider was not willing to compromise and said "fine" that they should find a new daycare. The family went to pick up the remainder of their belongings and the provider had set them all out on the front porch. The provider had already been paid for the month and refused to refund the money. Though the provider does have a 2 week notice policy, in this case she refused to honor the parent's right to enter the daycare and nurse so the parent's had few other options than to pull the children. What are other provider's thoughts on this?
Secondly, when the mother called the daycare provider to discuss the situation she told the provider that she was hoping to be able to work out a suitable arrangement or else she would have to take the baby, along with their other child, to another daycare where her efforts to breastfeed would be supported. Again, the provider was not willing to compromise and said "fine" that they should find a new daycare. The family went to pick up the remainder of their belongings and the provider had set them all out on the front porch. The provider had already been paid for the month and refused to refund the money. Though the provider does have a 2 week notice policy, in this case she refused to honor the parent's right to enter the daycare and nurse so the parent's had few other options than to pull the children. What are other provider's thoughts on this?
Ms.Sue 05:11 PM 05-06-2009
That is extremely unprofessional. If you have a business- especially dealing with infants --- you need to make your business accessible for parents........Better off leaving.
seashell 05:21 AM 05-13-2009
I think mom did the right thing leaving. Parents should have access to their child at all times. The provider is clearly hiding something by telling mom she can't come to feed the baby. I think she deserves her money back and that maybe a letter from an attorney could aide in that. I would also call licensing and see what their take is on the subject.
Please keep this updated . . . I would like to know the outcome.
Please keep this updated . . . I would like to know the outcome.
Becky 12:38 PM 05-17-2009
First, claps all around to the mom taking her child elsewhere!!!!! Red flags are a wonderful instinct. We should all use them. The flag was when the provider first said no. I wouldn't have tried to work anything out with her. I would have grabbed the kids and ran. What is she hiding that she is not ok with this process? I would love for moms to breastfeed my kids in my daycare. Children need that bonding time with their mother any way they can get it!!! Yea that mom has the ability to get off work and come spend time with her child! GO MOMMY! I would have been very alarmed if someone told me I can't come hang out at daycare with my child if I wanted to no matter the reason.
Second, on the refund...it will depend on the contract. If the contract talks about no refunds if you change your mind or you must pay the remainder of the month if you choose to leave, then there is nothing you can do. HOWEVER, the mom tried to work a compromise with the provider and the provider said GO! so I think you have a strong chance of getting the money back but instead of fighting with the lady, just go to claims court and let the judge decide. Write three letters asking for the money and why you think you should get it back. Quote the contract if needed. Then after the third time, file the claim and take all your letters to court and any other evidence. Do not call the lady!!! If you don't believe in suing, then let it go and move on. You can use the media instead of suing as well. We have Aiken's Army at a local station in Houston that helps people with problems. THey would love to help with something like this. Just some ideas.
Second, on the refund...it will depend on the contract. If the contract talks about no refunds if you change your mind or you must pay the remainder of the month if you choose to leave, then there is nothing you can do. HOWEVER, the mom tried to work a compromise with the provider and the provider said GO! so I think you have a strong chance of getting the money back but instead of fighting with the lady, just go to claims court and let the judge decide. Write three letters asking for the money and why you think you should get it back. Quote the contract if needed. Then after the third time, file the claim and take all your letters to court and any other evidence. Do not call the lady!!! If you don't believe in suing, then let it go and move on. You can use the media instead of suing as well. We have Aiken's Army at a local station in Houston that helps people with problems. THey would love to help with something like this. Just some ideas.
Unregistered 08:49 AM 05-18-2009
This should have been discussed long before and not after the child started coming to dc. While I would have to agree with the provider here. It is a total disruption to the day when parents come in. Yes, I have an open door policy, does not mean that I want a parent in my work environment everyday.
Parents tend to forget that "this is our job". And just as "your job" would not allow someone to come in and sit for 30 to 45 minutes everyday, I don't want that either at my job.
There are ways to get around this. The mom could pump and bring the milk for the infant each day, or freeze it. I have had many a parent do this.
Please don't continue to say that this provider raises red flags because she said no to this arrangement, I totally understand how this disruption each day can turn quickly into a bad issue. If a mom forgets her things to pump at work, yes, please stop by and feed your baby, but along with this provider, I would not agree to it on a daily basis. Way too disruptive of my day and childcare business. Yes, we are a business just like your employer is.
Parents tend to forget that "this is our job". And just as "your job" would not allow someone to come in and sit for 30 to 45 minutes everyday, I don't want that either at my job.
There are ways to get around this. The mom could pump and bring the milk for the infant each day, or freeze it. I have had many a parent do this.
Please don't continue to say that this provider raises red flags because she said no to this arrangement, I totally understand how this disruption each day can turn quickly into a bad issue. If a mom forgets her things to pump at work, yes, please stop by and feed your baby, but along with this provider, I would not agree to it on a daily basis. Way too disruptive of my day and childcare business. Yes, we are a business just like your employer is.
Unregistered 09:32 AM 05-18-2009
Parents need to remember we are a busines and we have rules (whether our own or the states), and parents need to abide by them. I can only imagine the disruption when this mom shows up each day and I too would want no part of it.
Unregistered 05:59 AM 05-18-2009
I, on the other hand, can see why the provider wouldn't want this. Was the mother going to continue this for a month, 6 months, a year??? It is hard enough to get an infant on a schedule, never mind, having to wait for a parent to come feed that infant everyday. What happens when the mother is late, and the baby is screaming. Yes, it does effect the entire daycare. If the mom wants to breastfeed, than pump and send with baby. Also, this would cause another huge adjustment to the baby, when the mom stops doing this. And the provider would have to re-train the child all over again. I am all for breastfeeding, however, from my experience, the breastfed babies are usually the hardest to get onto a schedule. The quicker they get scheduled, the happier the baby is. If the mom wants to breastfeed so desparately, then maybe she should re-consider her priorities and stay home with baby.
Unregistered 07:46 AM 05-19-2009
I also agree that i would not want a parent coming every day to breastfeed their baby. this is when the other kids are napping and ALL kids nap at the same time. Also this is my quiet time, and when i get my housework done. i dont want someone in my house disrupting my routine. i do have an open door policy but this is not something that happens every day.
lilbiddapopcorn 10:38 PM 05-19-2009
I understand not wanting the disruption but hang on...cuz mom tried to compromise here. She's not disrupting anything if she's on the patio or in her car, out of sight of the other children. And the fact that she's trying to juggle work and her baby, I think her using her break to breastfeed is a great way to get that bonding time in with her little one. If this situation were presented to me, I think a compromise would've worked fine. She should be able to come breastfeed her baby, as long as she understood she had to quietly come pick the baby up, and she'd have to do it on the patio or in her car. And as far as the baby's schedule changing, it would've happened eventually anyway. Baby's schedules change. They stay up longer. Sometimes moms schedule will change and her feeding habits will change. You can't assume very day will be the exact same for this baby if you expect him/her to stay for any length of time.
Unregistered 07:02 AM 05-20-2009
exactly, the baby's schedule may change everyday. So does that mean the provider has to hold off the baby's feeding until mom gets there? I'm sorry, but when babys are hungry, they want it NOW. I agree that it would be extremely disruptive to the providers schedule. And I also agree, that I would not want a parent coming into my house every afternoon. When I get my kids down for nap...I fold laundry, I clean the house, I get dinner started, etc. and I wouldn't want someone there while I am trying to do these things. Also, the provider would have to be standing there at the ready for when the mom finishes, instead of going about their normal routine to keep the household and the business in order. At home providers are also moms too, and they need to get their things done too and most days, during naptime is the only time we have. I also don't like anyone interrupting my kids naptime....it is the only break I get in a twelve hour day.
sweetcinna 05:13 PM 05-21-2009
Now i do leave to option open for the mother, however the baby has to be "bottle broke" and I only allow a 15 min window, If she doesn't make it within 15 min then the baby will be fed with a bottle. What parents don't seem to realize that it is very disruptive when anyone walks through the door. I also do not allow pick up or drop off during nap. I do have a open door policy, however that doesn't mean i want a parent comming over to my house just to visit while I'm working, and i do all my new client interviews after hours. You just can't be to careful now days.
Unregistered 10:31 PM 06-01-2009
This is about BREASTFEEDING , not just walking in to "hang out" As a firm believer in breastfeeding , this is the best thing any mother could give. YOu should nkwo you can't expect a baby to be on a strict feeding schedule. I do know babies can be put on feeding schedules, but a nursing baby is already going to be on a less strict schedule to begin with. Whats more important a schedule,or the baby getting the best thing ? I came on this site because I have been thinknig about becoming a child care provider.
As a former nursing mother, I had both a horrible experience, as well as a wonderful experince nursing in daycares. I had my older child in a daycare's after school program. He was in 1st grade. My baby was in a home daycare. After picking up my baby I would sit and nurse him for maybe 5minutes,not more than 10 ,while i waited for my older son to get his stuff and say goodbye to his friends,etc... Another parent complained (I was covered by the way) because they felt their child shouldn't be exposed to seeing a baby being breastfed and they disdn't want their child knowing about it until 'the right time" This is what I was todl by the owner of this daycare center. I was angry because this is not sex,it is a fact of life something god gave us to use to nurish our baby. If i were sitting down at the MALL or anywhere ELSE, and this parent had her child ,well I guess her child would stil l have been exposed to it.
They demanded I use their restroom or not do it at all and threatend to kick my older son out if I didn't comply. My state law says I had a right to breatsfeed where ever I and my baby was legally allowed(so this applied). I didn't have the guts to get a lawyer and sue their butts off ,so when I refused and told them politely about my rights and no thank you I will NOT use a dirty bathroom,the chair in the after school room was worknig jsut fine,thank you... they refused to take my older child. So I didn't pay them for that week.
The home daycare I had my baby (younger son) in allowed for me to nurse hgim for those 10minutes(it was a great stress reliever for my baby) before leaving for home. it not only helped him relieve stress,but I was pretty engorged by then because my job didn't allow much time for pumping,and although I got my body used to producing milk only when he nursed,they still got full by that time of the day. She stil lencourages breastfeeding.She nursed her own baby in front of her own daycare kids. I now work for her myself(which has inspired me to want my own daycare) and she will take fully pumped milk in bottles AND?OR let the mothers nurse as well. I think it's awsome she fully supports it and whenever I take children in my own home I wilL support it 100%.
As a nursing mom, know your rights, ecause if this daycare provider is violating your rights I suggest you get her in trouble. Don't let her get away with it,like i did with that other center. I agree, find someone else. She seems to care more about herself then the welfare of a child. Children need their mommys milk daycare or not. how sad for people to be like that,all because of whatever personal hang ups they have about breastfeeding.
oh by the way, the reason why I didn't just nurse him in the home daycare first, before getting my older son from the other one was because the home daycare closed before the other one did. I did not want to impose on her. Whenever I got off earlier, however, I did nurse him there, because I was more comfortable there. I couldn't use her for after school care,because she was not in the same schol district,and had no way of getting him from his school. So unfortunatley I had to use different providers. That happend too,when I had my 3rd baby. My odlest was in school, my middle one was still with her,but when I had my 3rd she had no openings for infants,and I had to find alternate care. Funny thing is I was never satisfied with anyt center,and if I ever have a 4th (which I don't plan to) he/she wil lgo to her and I will find a way. Even if I plan months in advance to save a spot.
As a former nursing mother, I had both a horrible experience, as well as a wonderful experince nursing in daycares. I had my older child in a daycare's after school program. He was in 1st grade. My baby was in a home daycare. After picking up my baby I would sit and nurse him for maybe 5minutes,not more than 10 ,while i waited for my older son to get his stuff and say goodbye to his friends,etc... Another parent complained (I was covered by the way) because they felt their child shouldn't be exposed to seeing a baby being breastfed and they disdn't want their child knowing about it until 'the right time" This is what I was todl by the owner of this daycare center. I was angry because this is not sex,it is a fact of life something god gave us to use to nurish our baby. If i were sitting down at the MALL or anywhere ELSE, and this parent had her child ,well I guess her child would stil l have been exposed to it.
They demanded I use their restroom or not do it at all and threatend to kick my older son out if I didn't comply. My state law says I had a right to breatsfeed where ever I and my baby was legally allowed(so this applied). I didn't have the guts to get a lawyer and sue their butts off ,so when I refused and told them politely about my rights and no thank you I will NOT use a dirty bathroom,the chair in the after school room was worknig jsut fine,thank you... they refused to take my older child. So I didn't pay them for that week.
The home daycare I had my baby (younger son) in allowed for me to nurse hgim for those 10minutes(it was a great stress reliever for my baby) before leaving for home. it not only helped him relieve stress,but I was pretty engorged by then because my job didn't allow much time for pumping,and although I got my body used to producing milk only when he nursed,they still got full by that time of the day. She stil lencourages breastfeeding.She nursed her own baby in front of her own daycare kids. I now work for her myself(which has inspired me to want my own daycare) and she will take fully pumped milk in bottles AND?OR let the mothers nurse as well. I think it's awsome she fully supports it and whenever I take children in my own home I wilL support it 100%.
As a nursing mom, know your rights, ecause if this daycare provider is violating your rights I suggest you get her in trouble. Don't let her get away with it,like i did with that other center. I agree, find someone else. She seems to care more about herself then the welfare of a child. Children need their mommys milk daycare or not. how sad for people to be like that,all because of whatever personal hang ups they have about breastfeeding.
oh by the way, the reason why I didn't just nurse him in the home daycare first, before getting my older son from the other one was because the home daycare closed before the other one did. I did not want to impose on her. Whenever I got off earlier, however, I did nurse him there, because I was more comfortable there. I couldn't use her for after school care,because she was not in the same schol district,and had no way of getting him from his school. So unfortunatley I had to use different providers. That happend too,when I had my 3rd baby. My odlest was in school, my middle one was still with her,but when I had my 3rd she had no openings for infants,and I had to find alternate care. Funny thing is I was never satisfied with anyt center,and if I ever have a 4th (which I don't plan to) he/she wil lgo to her and I will find a way. Even if I plan months in advance to save a spot.
Unregistered 05:02 PM 06-12-2009
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
exactly, the baby's schedule may change everyday. So does that mean the provider has to hold off the baby's feeding until mom gets there? I'm sorry, but when babys are hungry, they want it NOW. I agree that it would be extremely disruptive to the providers schedule. And I also agree, that I would not want a parent coming into my house every afternoon. When I get my kids down for nap...I fold laundry, I clean the house, I get dinner started, etc. and I wouldn't want someone there while I am trying to do these things. Also, the provider would have to be standing there at the ready for when the mom finishes, instead of going about their normal routine to keep the household and the business in order. At home providers are also moms too, and they need to get their things done too and most days, during naptime is the only time we have. I also don't like anyone interrupting my kids naptime....it is the only break I get in a twelve hour day.
Wow...I wish my employer paid me to clean my house, cook my dinner, and fold my laundry while I was on his dime.exactly, the baby's schedule may change everyday. So does that mean the provider has to hold off the baby's feeding until mom gets there? I'm sorry, but when babys are hungry, they want it NOW. I agree that it would be extremely disruptive to the providers schedule. And I also agree, that I would not want a parent coming into my house every afternoon. When I get my kids down for nap...I fold laundry, I clean the house, I get dinner started, etc. and I wouldn't want someone there while I am trying to do these things. Also, the provider would have to be standing there at the ready for when the mom finishes, instead of going about their normal routine to keep the household and the business in order. At home providers are also moms too, and they need to get their things done too and most days, during naptime is the only time we have. I also don't like anyone interrupting my kids naptime....it is the only break I get in a twelve hour day.
News flash, you're an in house daycare provider that chooses to do everything yourself to maximize profits. You do not get your two 15 minute breaks if the needs of the children do not allow it. The mother thinks its best for the baby to come in and feed at noon and offers to do it OUTSIDE of the house? She's paying you to care for the child when she is unavailable. Who are you to say what a mother can and can't do with her own child....especially when she's paying you.
mac60 06:56 PM 06-12-2009
Wow, nobody is saying the mother doesn't have the right to breastfeed. Why not pump and give thru bottle. Same milk. As far as breastfeeding at the daycare center, I don't blame them for asking you to do it somewhere beside in front of the children, doing it in a daycare in front of the kids is NOT the place to being breastfeeding.....and yes, we all know it is a natural thing, but there IS a place for it, and I don't think it is a daycare.
To unregistered and your NEWS FLASH:
Do you have any idea how much laundry I do that is DAYCARE related each day? Probably not. From towels, washcloths, sheets, blankets, that are used each day, to the cleaning up of the kitchen from 2 meals and 2 snacks, to cleaning up activities, to planning activities, to cleaning the bathroom because the toilet was peed on or the floor, to mopping the kitchen because your child threw they food on the floor, and the list goes on and on. If I am lucky, I can eat lunch by 1:30 pm.
And parents need to remember that the provider is the MANAGER/OWNER/BOSS of her daycare businsess, not the parent, and if the parent doesn't like the way the provider operates her business, maybe they should look elsewhere for care.
To unregistered and your NEWS FLASH:
Do you have any idea how much laundry I do that is DAYCARE related each day? Probably not. From towels, washcloths, sheets, blankets, that are used each day, to the cleaning up of the kitchen from 2 meals and 2 snacks, to cleaning up activities, to planning activities, to cleaning the bathroom because the toilet was peed on or the floor, to mopping the kitchen because your child threw they food on the floor, and the list goes on and on. If I am lucky, I can eat lunch by 1:30 pm.
And parents need to remember that the provider is the MANAGER/OWNER/BOSS of her daycare businsess, not the parent, and if the parent doesn't like the way the provider operates her business, maybe they should look elsewhere for care.
Chickenhauler 08:05 PM 06-14-2009
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow...I wish my employer paid me to clean my house, cook my dinner, and fold my laundry while I was on his dime.
News flash, you're an in house daycare provider that chooses to do everything yourself to maximize profits. You do not get your two 15 minute breaks if the needs of the children do not allow it. The mother thinks its best for the baby to come in and feed at noon and offers to do it OUTSIDE of the house? She's paying you to care for the child when she is unavailable. Who are you to say what a mother can and can't do with her own child....especially when she's paying you.
Here's the kicker-don't like the rules? LEAVE. Go elsewhere.Wow...I wish my employer paid me to clean my house, cook my dinner, and fold my laundry while I was on his dime.
News flash, you're an in house daycare provider that chooses to do everything yourself to maximize profits. You do not get your two 15 minute breaks if the needs of the children do not allow it. The mother thinks its best for the baby to come in and feed at noon and offers to do it OUTSIDE of the house? She's paying you to care for the child when she is unavailable. Who are you to say what a mother can and can't do with her own child....especially when she's paying you.
Who are you to demand that a private business owner make special arrangements to meet your choices? It's a free society, the business owner makes the rules, and if the customer does not like those rules, they are free to take their business elsewhere.
Pssst-for the BS, rigamarole, expense, risk, hard work, and headaches of operating a legal, complaint, safe daycare in one's home, the income sucks.
For us, it isn't about the money, it's about the wife being able to stay home with our kids, as I think you will find that most in home daycare providers agree. If they didn't have kids at home, most of them wouldn't open their homes like they do. If you don't believe so, go in search of an in-home daycare where the family has no kids of their own.
That dinner the provider is cooking? Some of it's going to feed your kid.
That cleaning the provider is doing? Yeah, your kid was part of the mess.
That laundry? You guessed it, your kid benefits from having clean towels, linens and blankets on hand.