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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Vacation From Baby At 10 Weeks?
Lucy 09:33 AM 08-23-2012
Interesting segment on Good Morning America. Here's an article that has the video embedded. What do you guys think about this???
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyl...ave-a-newborn/
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyl...ave-a-newborn/
countrymom 10:07 AM 08-23-2012
i this too, and alot of those comments where the same one that I was thinking too. Esp. the one that said if she needed a break at 10 weeks what are you going to do when they are older. Oh, what made me mad was the excuse the mom gave, "we are pregnant for 9 months so our bodies suffer so we need a vacation" ya whatever! And going to work is totally different.
JennyBear 10:14 AM 08-23-2012
Well, I only have one child right now and I know when she was a newborn I couldn't even think of leaving her alone for a night. It wasn't until our daughter was 41/2 months old that my hubby and I finally took a vacation to Mexico and left our daughter with my parents. At that point i thought the break would be nice but still stressed over leaving our daughter. I made list upon list ensuring my mom knew everything I thought she needed to (and probably much more! lol). We went on vacation and thought of our daughter all the time but still had a blast. It wasn't until day 5 or 6(out of 7) that I was starting to get super anxious and when we got home I was so glad to have her back in my arms!!
Now, hoping to have another child in the future I'm not sure I would be as anxious and stressed to leave them, especially with someone I completely trusted.
I can't really judge as I'm not in this woman's shoes but my opinion is if her baby is with someone they trust, and is well taken care of...why can't mom go on a little vacation? After all, don't all great mom's need a little time away sometimes to refresh themselves?
I don't fault this woman at all from what I've read. To each their own and if that's what they felt was right for their family, then so be it. Then again, I try not to judge, especially since I don't walk in their shoes...but that's just me.
Now, hoping to have another child in the future I'm not sure I would be as anxious and stressed to leave them, especially with someone I completely trusted.
I can't really judge as I'm not in this woman's shoes but my opinion is if her baby is with someone they trust, and is well taken care of...why can't mom go on a little vacation? After all, don't all great mom's need a little time away sometimes to refresh themselves?
I don't fault this woman at all from what I've read. To each their own and if that's what they felt was right for their family, then so be it. Then again, I try not to judge, especially since I don't walk in their shoes...but that's just me.
Crazy8 10:20 AM 08-23-2012
personally I wouldn't do it - but I will not judge someone else. You don't know what someone elses limits are and if there was any PPD in there, etc. that made going away for a week the best solution for their family.
people thought I was crazy for taking my 4 month old son with us to Disney - I thought they were crazy for thinking I would leave him behind. To each their own.
people thought I was crazy for taking my 4 month old son with us to Disney - I thought they were crazy for thinking I would leave him behind. To each their own.
Annalee 10:26 AM 08-23-2012
I feel there are different perceptions to this issue and we all have our "opinions".
After seven years of thinking my husband and I could never have children, we all at once had two sons within twenty-four months when I was 35 and 37. Therefore, unlike the mother in the article, I enjoyed the WHOLE nine months both times. THANKFUL is how I felt to have two healthy sons. Sometimes I do feel those months are "mind over matter". I refused to let myself become depressed over the sickness. I wanted a baby wayyyy tooo long!
I do, occasionally, leave my children to enjoy the evening out or attend child care event/conferences but I do not feel I will "fall apart" if I don't get away. My children are my life. They will be grown soon enough and I want to make lots of memories just as I did when I was a child. I am blessed with a large-extended family so get-togethers are the norm around here, kids included regardless of age!
After seven years of thinking my husband and I could never have children, we all at once had two sons within twenty-four months when I was 35 and 37. Therefore, unlike the mother in the article, I enjoyed the WHOLE nine months both times. THANKFUL is how I felt to have two healthy sons. Sometimes I do feel those months are "mind over matter". I refused to let myself become depressed over the sickness. I wanted a baby wayyyy tooo long!
I do, occasionally, leave my children to enjoy the evening out or attend child care event/conferences but I do not feel I will "fall apart" if I don't get away. My children are my life. They will be grown soon enough and I want to make lots of memories just as I did when I was a child. I am blessed with a large-extended family so get-togethers are the norm around here, kids included regardless of age!
daycare 10:33 AM 08-23-2012
different strokes for different folks... I wouldnt judge, to each their own.
I take 6 kids on my own on a field trip and when I am out I see parents completely losing it and they have one or two children. Are they bad parents, NO, they just can only take so much....
I think this mom just feels guilty about it,but she opened this can of worms on herself and got the attention I am sure she was looking for.
I take 6 kids on my own on a field trip and when I am out I see parents completely losing it and they have one or two children. Are they bad parents, NO, they just can only take so much....
I think this mom just feels guilty about it,but she opened this can of worms on herself and got the attention I am sure she was looking for.
Kaddidle Care 11:28 AM 08-23-2012
I nursed both of my boys so a vacation without them at 2 months wasn't going to happen, nor would I have wanted to leave them at that age.
"I think a happy mom makes a happy child and you know your child better than anyone else."
I don't know too many people that can truly know anyone after 2 months, do you?
I personally feel she brought the criticism upon herself with her online bragging.
“Yes, I’m ditching my baby… I think that, even from his early age, I’m teaching him a sense of independence.”
Whatever
"I think a happy mom makes a happy child and you know your child better than anyone else."
I don't know too many people that can truly know anyone after 2 months, do you?
I personally feel she brought the criticism upon herself with her online bragging.
“Yes, I’m ditching my baby… I think that, even from his early age, I’m teaching him a sense of independence.”
Whatever
jojosmommy 11:32 AM 08-23-2012
I watched the video. I know there are all types of parents out there and I do agree with the part that IF you were working (ie HAD TO GO BACK TO WORK) at 6 weeks or whatever you would be away from your child for extended periods of time but this was a choice. To each their own.
My son is 3. He has slept at grandmas (30 min away) about 2x a year since he was about 10 months old. I am always very purposeful about this experience. He usually leaves around 5 or 6 pm after a full day of family time with myself and my husband. He goes with my mom to her house, sleeps over and dad or myself will pick him up around 10 am. He also goes to her house for day trips so she can have time with him but we limit the extended periods away. My dd has slept at grandmas 2 times, both so my husband and I could work or volunteer on a weekend day. The first one was miserable since we didnt know about any of her medical needs yet and the second was was better but still a lot of stress. I agree with the person in the piece who said it wouldnt be relaxing leaving their kids for that long.
We have never left our kids for a vacation away. I feel like being a parent is my primary job and soon enough they will be busy with their own things and we can take all the trips we want without so much as them noticing. We have date nights and put our kids to bed at a reasonable time so that most week nights we have 1-3 hous together alone. I feel like that is enough for us and works for our kids too. I did find the part about infant developement and trust an interesting aspect. Since we will never know if this vacation really affected the infants trust cycle that will be left to opinion I guess.
My son is 3. He has slept at grandmas (30 min away) about 2x a year since he was about 10 months old. I am always very purposeful about this experience. He usually leaves around 5 or 6 pm after a full day of family time with myself and my husband. He goes with my mom to her house, sleeps over and dad or myself will pick him up around 10 am. He also goes to her house for day trips so she can have time with him but we limit the extended periods away. My dd has slept at grandmas 2 times, both so my husband and I could work or volunteer on a weekend day. The first one was miserable since we didnt know about any of her medical needs yet and the second was was better but still a lot of stress. I agree with the person in the piece who said it wouldnt be relaxing leaving their kids for that long.
We have never left our kids for a vacation away. I feel like being a parent is my primary job and soon enough they will be busy with their own things and we can take all the trips we want without so much as them noticing. We have date nights and put our kids to bed at a reasonable time so that most week nights we have 1-3 hous together alone. I feel like that is enough for us and works for our kids too. I did find the part about infant developement and trust an interesting aspect. Since we will never know if this vacation really affected the infants trust cycle that will be left to opinion I guess.
MNMum 12:03 PM 08-23-2012
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
I nursed both of my boys so a vacation without them at 2 months wasn't going to happen, nor would I have wanted to leave them at that age.
"I think a happy mom makes a happy child and you know your child better than anyone else."
I don't know too many people that can truly know anyone after 2 months, do you?
I personally feel she brought the criticism upon herself with her online bragging.
“Yes, I’m ditching my baby… I think that, even from his early age, I’m teaching him a sense of independence.”
Whatever
Did I write this??? Why as Americans do we feel we have to teach a baby independence? They would die without someone taking care of them, they can't walk to get to a food source.I nursed both of my boys so a vacation without them at 2 months wasn't going to happen, nor would I have wanted to leave them at that age.
"I think a happy mom makes a happy child and you know your child better than anyone else."
I don't know too many people that can truly know anyone after 2 months, do you?
I personally feel she brought the criticism upon herself with her online bragging.
“Yes, I’m ditching my baby… I think that, even from his early age, I’m teaching him a sense of independence.”
Whatever
MyAngels 12:17 PM 08-23-2012
I wouldn't have done it, but I'm not going to pass judgment on anyone who would. There's enough guilt that goes along with motherhood as it is, who am I to add to it?
Lucy 01:40 PM 08-23-2012
Looking at it from the baby's perspective, I don't think it would be harmful to the baby. You've bonded already for 2 1/2 months, so I don't think there would be any harm done. I just think it would be difficult emotionally for the mom. I don't see her as being selfish or a bad mom in any way, but I think a new mom would miss the touch and smell of her baby. But in the big picture, I really don't think there's anything wrong with this. Just my opinion.
countrymom 03:41 PM 08-23-2012
I'm bothered by the way she presented it she says that she's "ditching" the baby and that she "needed" a vacation just by those statements she sounds like a selfish person. If she didn't want us to judge her then she shouldn't have announced it to the world what she was doing. I now "dump and run" but my children are way older
AmyLeigh 05:05 PM 08-23-2012
What I have a problem with this case in particular is she is rationalizing too much. In the "me thinks thou dost protest too much" sense. If she just said she was overwhelmed and needed a little break, I doubt any mom would be judgemental of her. But this whole "9 months is a long time to have a baby inside you" and "teaching the baby independence" crap is ridiculous. If you need a break, take a break and be done with it. She made childcare arrangements with her future MIL and had a nanny. No neglect, just an overwhelmed mommy. Nothin' wrong with that in my mind. I had to laugh at the point about not leaving the older child until she was 3 months old. Ummm isn't that only 2 weeks older? So she had done it before. Its something she needs, apparently.
Personally, I left my children overnight for the first time just last year. My kids were 8, 4, and 2 yo. The oldest had the hardest time with it, lol. It was only because we had to see Michael Buble in concert. DH and I just haven't felt the need to leave them for that long of a time before that nor since. We may do so in the future, who knows? Well, when Michael comes back to town.....heeeheeeheee
Crazy8, I took my son to Disneyland at 6 weeks old! I was still on medical maternity leave when we went. It's a small world ride was perfect for sitting down and nursing.
Personally, I left my children overnight for the first time just last year. My kids were 8, 4, and 2 yo. The oldest had the hardest time with it, lol. It was only because we had to see Michael Buble in concert. DH and I just haven't felt the need to leave them for that long of a time before that nor since. We may do so in the future, who knows? Well, when Michael comes back to town.....heeeheeeheee
Crazy8, I took my son to Disneyland at 6 weeks old! I was still on medical maternity leave when we went. It's a small world ride was perfect for sitting down and nursing.
countrymom 05:11 AM 08-24-2012
ha, I took ydd on the niagra falls maid of the mist at the age of 2 weeks. FIL paid so thats why we went. We laugh so much about this, and when I was pregnant with her, we went to florida, we joke about how she went but didn't see anything lol!
Maddy'sMommy 06:46 AM 08-24-2012
I think a lot of the reactions to this story have been too judgmental (not here because most people here just tend to disagree, not condemn, but anytime I have seen this story brought up). One suggested that she wasn't ready for motherhood if she needed a break.
Let's put this is perspective, as far as we know she is an amazing mother, and her baby is happy, healthy, and taken care of. Would I leave my child at 10 weeks? No. But that doesn't make me a better Mom. No.
We don't have to agree with people's choices, but we do have to respect their right to make them.
And this type of article is usually written in a tongue-in-cheek, funny sort of way. I doubt she actually thinks her small baby will learn independence from this. lol.
Let's put this is perspective, as far as we know she is an amazing mother, and her baby is happy, healthy, and taken care of. Would I leave my child at 10 weeks? No. But that doesn't make me a better Mom. No.
We don't have to agree with people's choices, but we do have to respect their right to make them.
And this type of article is usually written in a tongue-in-cheek, funny sort of way. I doubt she actually thinks her small baby will learn independence from this. lol.
SunshineMama 07:30 AM 08-24-2012
What mother doesn't *need* a vacation? I am trying really hard not to be judgmental but a 10 week old baby needs to be with mom for so many reasons. Leaving your older child for a little while with a trusted adult is fine, but a 10 week old baby....really?
Country Kids 07:40 AM 08-24-2012
I always wonder why moms need breaks so much. When I was little moms stayed home with their children day in day out. Non of our parents went on vacations by themselves or just the mom with a group of girlfriends. Kids weren't always left with babysitters either.
I actually only had a babysitter 2 times in my life. I did stay with friends and relatives over night twice to so about 4 times.
I was also one that didn't leave my kids with people and didn't feel the need to get away from them for a break. Even with the job I do.
I actually only had a babysitter 2 times in my life. I did stay with friends and relatives over night twice to so about 4 times.
I was also one that didn't leave my kids with people and didn't feel the need to get away from them for a break. Even with the job I do.
makap 08:27 AM 08-24-2012
I personally I think she has a few screws missing. 
countrymom 10:49 AM 08-24-2012
ok, I think all those who are saying not to be judgemental should think about this, its not the vacation part I think is the main issue, its the fact that she went to ANOTHER country (mexico) and was GONE for a WEEK. What would have happened if there was an accident, how would she get home. And I grew up with a mom who didn't do vacations either, and I have to agree with "why do all these moms need a vacation" I would love a vaca from my kids (any takers on 4 kids, they are older but they like to bicker with each other oh and you need to drive them to all their activities) maybe I'm old fashion????
Annalee 10:55 AM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
ok, I think all those who are saying not to be judgemental should think about this, its not the vacation part I think is the main issue, its the fact that she went to ANOTHER country (mexico) and was GONE for a WEEK. What would have happened if there was an accident, how would she get home. And I grew up with a mom who didn't do vacations either, and I have to agree with "why do all these moms need a vacation" I would love a vaca from my kids (any takers on 4 kids, they are older but they like to bicker with each other oh and you need to drive them to all their activities) maybe I'm old fashion????
I feel the same as you....it is not the vacation, it is this mom's need to "ditch" the kid. Time with my kids is a joy to me......however, I might need a vacation from my "childish hubby" sometimes.....ok, I think all those who are saying not to be judgemental should think about this, its not the vacation part I think is the main issue, its the fact that she went to ANOTHER country (mexico) and was GONE for a WEEK. What would have happened if there was an accident, how would she get home. And I grew up with a mom who didn't do vacations either, and I have to agree with "why do all these moms need a vacation" I would love a vaca from my kids (any takers on 4 kids, they are older but they like to bicker with each other oh and you need to drive them to all their activities) maybe I'm old fashion????
daycare 11:07 AM 08-24-2012
sorry, but life does not end when you have kids...I travel the world. some times with my kids and some time without.
I have always left my children with family, so if there was an emergency, I would be leaving them to care for my child and make a decision. An accident or emergency can occur at any time. My best friend died in a car accident on the way to pick up her son....... she was 19 minutes away..
I live for my children and give them all the time in the world, but I need me time and I take it when I need it.
When my grandpa died I up and flew to Egypt and stayed for 9 days. My son was 4 weeks at the time. And he's just fine.....
I have always left my children with family, so if there was an emergency, I would be leaving them to care for my child and make a decision. An accident or emergency can occur at any time. My best friend died in a car accident on the way to pick up her son....... she was 19 minutes away..
I live for my children and give them all the time in the world, but I need me time and I take it when I need it.
When my grandpa died I up and flew to Egypt and stayed for 9 days. My son was 4 weeks at the time. And he's just fine.....
Jewels 11:52 AM 08-24-2012
OH MAN, that Pooor baby, what did it do without its mommy for a week..well it still got fed, changed, and loved. pretty sure there will be no emotional trauma on a 10 week old...no I personally wouldn't ever do it, I couldn't, just as I could not continue working, I had to quit my job, but I know many mothers that could, and they are all GREAT moms, its amazing the judgement that is passed, she is not harming her baby. I have a 4 night 5 day vacation with my hubby next week, I am so excited, I will miss my kids right away, but I am very much looking forward to not being needed for a few days, sleep when want, do whatever I want with my husband whenever I want, And I think it is great for my kids to spend some time with grandma and grandpa, and uncles and aunties, for a while, they really know that ALOT of people love and care for them, and they get a lot of extra spoiling for a few days, which creates great memories for them, I remember sleep overs at grandmas house were my favorite when I was little, and I always got a bowl of ice cream after dinner with grandma, I will never forget.
Blackcat31 11:59 AM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by Jewels:
OH MAN, that Pooor baby, what did it do without its mommy for a week..well it still got fed, changed, and loved. pretty sure there will be no emotional trauma on a 10 week old...no I personally wouldn't ever do it, I couldn't, just as I could not continue working, I had to quit my job, but I know many mothers that could, and they are all GREAT moms, its amazing the judgement that is passed, she is not harming her baby. I have a 4 night 5 day vacation with my hubby next week, I am so excited, I will miss my kids right away, but I am very much looking forward to not being needed for a few days, sleep when want, do whatever I want with my husband whenever I want, And I think it is great for my kids to spend some time with grandma and grandpa, and uncles and aunties, for a while, they really know that ALOT of people love and care for them, and they get a lot of extra spoiling for a few days, which creates great memories for them, I remember sleep overs at grandmas house were my favorite when I was little, and I always got a bowl of ice cream after dinner with grandma, I will never forget.
OH MAN, that Pooor baby, what did it do without its mommy for a week..well it still got fed, changed, and loved. pretty sure there will be no emotional trauma on a 10 week old...no I personally wouldn't ever do it, I couldn't, just as I could not continue working, I had to quit my job, but I know many mothers that could, and they are all GREAT moms, its amazing the judgement that is passed, she is not harming her baby. I have a 4 night 5 day vacation with my hubby next week, I am so excited, I will miss my kids right away, but I am very much looking forward to not being needed for a few days, sleep when want, do whatever I want with my husband whenever I want, And I think it is great for my kids to spend some time with grandma and grandpa, and uncles and aunties, for a while, they really know that ALOT of people love and care for them, and they get a lot of extra spoiling for a few days, which creates great memories for them, I remember sleep overs at grandmas house were my favorite when I was little, and I always got a bowl of ice cream after dinner with grandma, I will never forget.
Being a mother doesn't mean being physically tied to your children 24/7.
I took my sisters second child at 5 weeks old and kept him for 10 days. She lives 4 hours from me.
She is ANYTHING but a bad mom. She just really needed the break....and I highly doubt her DS even remembers that she was gone those 10 days.
Oh and she left him again for two whole weeks with our mom while she took her oldest to Disney Land. He was about 10 months at the time.
I am sure she left him several other times for extended periods in his life but so far he doesn't show one iota of emotional scarring or any type of issues relating to being left by his mother all those time.
He is 11 now and they are really close. He is a great kid.
Country Kids 12:57 PM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
ok, I think all those who are saying not to be judgemental should think about this, its not the vacation part I think is the main issue, its the fact that she went to ANOTHER country (mexico) and was GONE for a WEEK. What would have happened if there was an accident, how would she get home. And I grew up with a mom who didn't do vacations either, and I have to agree with "why do all these moms need a vacation" I would love a vaca from my kids (any takers on 4 kids, they are older but they like to bicker with each other oh and you need to drive them to all their activities) maybe I'm old fashion????
I think thats what bothered me also-the trip to another country. I wonder if she bf as would you even have enough time to pump enough milk to be gone a week?ok, I think all those who are saying not to be judgemental should think about this, its not the vacation part I think is the main issue, its the fact that she went to ANOTHER country (mexico) and was GONE for a WEEK. What would have happened if there was an accident, how would she get home. And I grew up with a mom who didn't do vacations either, and I have to agree with "why do all these moms need a vacation" I would love a vaca from my kids (any takers on 4 kids, they are older but they like to bicker with each other oh and you need to drive them to all their activities) maybe I'm old fashion????
DBug 01:31 PM 08-24-2012
I wonder if this article has increased traffic to her blog at all? Idk, but it seems to me like she's fishing for a controversy, increased exposure and increased blog traffic. Mission accomplished 
.
Hubby and I get "break nights" each week when we go out separately (or together) for a few hours. When my babies were little, I would go out for two hours in between nursing. I totally understand needing a break.
However, I've been reading alot about adoption issues and attachment disorders. One of my adoption books mentioned that a disruption in care by the primary caregiver, even if it's very early in life, and even if the primary caregiver resumes care, could cause serious attachment issues later in life. IMO, 10 weeks is still too early in the bonding process to mess with things.
I'm too far from perfect to try to tell someone else how to parent, but if someone were asking for my opinion (
), I'd say this blogger mom is putting her blogging career ahead of her child's needs. I think she did it primarily for the shock value and for the controversy. JMHO, of course.
.Hubby and I get "break nights" each week when we go out separately (or together) for a few hours. When my babies were little, I would go out for two hours in between nursing. I totally understand needing a break.
However, I've been reading alot about adoption issues and attachment disorders. One of my adoption books mentioned that a disruption in care by the primary caregiver, even if it's very early in life, and even if the primary caregiver resumes care, could cause serious attachment issues later in life. IMO, 10 weeks is still too early in the bonding process to mess with things.
I'm too far from perfect to try to tell someone else how to parent, but if someone were asking for my opinion (
), I'd say this blogger mom is putting her blogging career ahead of her child's needs. I think she did it primarily for the shock value and for the controversy. JMHO, of course.
Blackcat31 02:14 PM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by DBug:
I wonder if this article has increased traffic to her blog at all? Idk, but it seems to me like she's fishing for a controversy, increased exposure and increased blog traffic. Mission accomplished.
I'm too far from perfect to try to tell someone else how to parent, but if someone were asking for my opinion ( ), I'd say this blogger mom is putting her blogging career ahead of her child's needs. I think she did it primarily for the shock value and for the controversy. JMHO, of course.
Sadly, I think you are probably spot on about this mom wanting the attention.I wonder if this article has increased traffic to her blog at all? Idk, but it seems to me like she's fishing for a controversy, increased exposure and increased blog traffic. Mission accomplished
.I'm too far from perfect to try to tell someone else how to parent, but if someone were asking for my opinion (
), I'd say this blogger mom is putting her blogging career ahead of her child's needs. I think she did it primarily for the shock value and for the controversy. JMHO, of course.Apparently 15 minutes of fame is no longer enough in today's world
daycare 03:21 PM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Sadly, I think you are probably spot on about this mom wanting the attention.
Apparently 15 minutes of fame is no longer enough in today's world
thats exactly what I was saying....this women got the attention that she wanted by making this non-issue an issue. People do it every day, it's just how she went about it. She knew what she was doing and she was smart to gain the exposure, had it be negative or positive......Sadly, I think you are probably spot on about this mom wanting the attention.
Apparently 15 minutes of fame is no longer enough in today's world