Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Opinions
Hunni Bee 07:36 PM 04-10-2013
My nephews preschool said that he will only eat peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Apparently they give that when the child won't eat whatever is on the menu. He has figured out that he can get pb and j every day if he refuses the regular lunch. He's lost considerable weight and developed severe constipation since he started.there.
He is not a good eater, but when he lived with my mom, she eliminated all junk from his diet and served healthy things she knew he'd eat. Not that I expect the school to cater to his pickiness or beg him to eat, to me tossing him a pb and j every day "just so he eats" is not the answer.
At both centers I've worked, we give each child the whole lunch and they eat what they wanted. Sometimes the picky ones ate all of it, sometimes not. But they did not get a chance to depend on an alternate meal.
My FDH said what I described above is akin to starving the kids, I feel like its keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits.
What do you ladies think?
He is not a good eater, but when he lived with my mom, she eliminated all junk from his diet and served healthy things she knew he'd eat. Not that I expect the school to cater to his pickiness or beg him to eat, to me tossing him a pb and j every day "just so he eats" is not the answer.
At both centers I've worked, we give each child the whole lunch and they eat what they wanted. Sometimes the picky ones ate all of it, sometimes not. But they did not get a chance to depend on an alternate meal.
My FDH said what I described above is akin to starving the kids, I feel like its keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits.
What do you ladies think?
blandino 07:55 PM 04-10-2013
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
My nephews preschool said that he will only eat peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Apparently they give that when the child won't eat whatever is on the menu. He has figured out that he can get pb and j every day if he refuses the regular lunch. He's lost considerable weight and developed severe constipation since he started.there.
He is not a good eater, but when he lived with my mom, she eliminated all junk from his diet and served healthy things she knew he'd eat. Not that I expect the school to cater to his pickiness or beg him to eat, to me tossing him a pb and j every day "just so he eats" is not the answer.
At both centers I've worked, we give each child the whole lunch and they eat what they wanted. Sometimes the picky ones ate all of it, sometimes not. But they did not get a chance to depend on an alternate meal.
My FDH said what I described above is akin to starving the kids, I feel like its keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits.
What do you ladies think?
I wholeheartedly a agree with what you mention above. It is keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits, or at least temporarily stopping it. My nephews preschool said that he will only eat peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Apparently they give that when the child won't eat whatever is on the menu. He has figured out that he can get pb and j every day if he refuses the regular lunch. He's lost considerable weight and developed severe constipation since he started.there.
He is not a good eater, but when he lived with my mom, she eliminated all junk from his diet and served healthy things she knew he'd eat. Not that I expect the school to cater to his pickiness or beg him to eat, to me tossing him a pb and j every day "just so he eats" is not the answer.
At both centers I've worked, we give each child the whole lunch and they eat what they wanted. Sometimes the picky ones ate all of it, sometimes not. But they did not get a chance to depend on an alternate meal.
My FDH said what I described above is akin to starving the kids, I feel like its keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits.
What do you ladies think?
To offer a child a tasty, yet not very nutritious meal when they will not eat their lunch is, to me, a reward.
If the meal they are offered is balanced, it should contain something that is palatable to everyone. My DC lunch today was roasted chicken, peas, carrots, and tri-colored rotini. I serve all components and what a child eats is up to them. I am not offering unreasonable foods, that children dislike. If you choose not to eat, then the (natural) consequence is that you go hungry. Plus, most schools & DC will be serving milk, and at minimum my pickiest eaters fill up on their milk (which is a pet peeve of mine, but I can't really do anything about that).
Meeko 05:11 AM 04-11-2013
I completely agree with you. They are enforcing bad eating habits!
I serve the meal. The child may eat all or none...their choice. But there is no other choices and no other food until the next scheduled meal or snack.
I serve the meal. The child may eat all or none...their choice. But there is no other choices and no other food until the next scheduled meal or snack.
MyAngels 05:41 AM 04-11-2013
I would not provide an alternate meal, but if the center is okay with that practice maybe they would allow his parents to provide a healthier alternative for him.
canadiancare 05:43 AM 04-11-2013
I don't think it is like starving a child. I think someone is misguided and feels they'd rather a child eats something than nothing.
The best way to learn healthy habits is to not provide alternatives. "this is what we are eating for lunch today. If you don't feel like eating this you will get snack after nap".
Snack is also snack- not an opportunity to gorge because you went without lunch.
The best way to learn healthy habits is to not provide alternatives. "this is what we are eating for lunch today. If you don't feel like eating this you will get snack after nap".
Snack is also snack- not an opportunity to gorge because you went without lunch.
countrymom 05:49 AM 04-11-2013
I have to agree too.
Blackcat31 05:54 AM 04-11-2013
I think it's fine to give kids choices.
But the choices still need to be healthy and FULLY balanced alternatives.
A PB&J is only part of what a child needs to eat for lunch in order to qualify as a balanced meal.
I would be speaking to the director of this preschool and working to find an alternative that meets the nutritional needs of your nephew.
If they don't find a way to meet his dietary needs, I'd be removing him from that school. They are impacting his growth and development in a silent but deadly way.
But the choices still need to be healthy and FULLY balanced alternatives.
A PB&J is only part of what a child needs to eat for lunch in order to qualify as a balanced meal.
I would be speaking to the director of this preschool and working to find an alternative that meets the nutritional needs of your nephew.
If they don't find a way to meet his dietary needs, I'd be removing him from that school. They are impacting his growth and development in a silent but deadly way.
canadiancare 06:01 AM 04-11-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I think it's fine to give kids choices.
But the choices still need to be healthy and FULLY balanced alternatives.
A PB&J is only part of what a child needs to eat for lunch in order to qualify as a balanced meal.
I would be speaking to the director of this preschool and working to find an alternative that meets the nutritional needs of your nephew.
If they don't find a way to meet his dietary needs, I'd be removing him from that school. They are impacting his growth and development in a silent but deadly way.
To be clear when you say provide choices do you mean you would prepare another meal for a child or that there would be options on their plate to eat?I think it's fine to give kids choices.
But the choices still need to be healthy and FULLY balanced alternatives.
A PB&J is only part of what a child needs to eat for lunch in order to qualify as a balanced meal.
I would be speaking to the director of this preschool and working to find an alternative that meets the nutritional needs of your nephew.
If they don't find a way to meet his dietary needs, I'd be removing him from that school. They are impacting his growth and development in a silent but deadly way.
I don't force them to eat all their food but there are several healthy options on that one plate at meal time for them to choose from. I don't pull out another meal for one child who is refusing my offering.
Country Kids 06:14 AM 04-11-2013
I don't think he's losing weight because of only eating pbj at lunchtime. We see kids everyday that don't eat lunch because they don't like it but don't lose weight as they make up for it at other times of the day. Also, the constipation I don't think would be mainly from that either-kids/adults eat pbj on a daily basis and are regular people (I know some personally). Once again, I would have to go back to what else is he eating.
Outside of preschool-whats he eating for his other meals-breafast, snacks, dinner? If anything the lunch may play a part in his health issues but not be the total problem. How does he do on the weekends?
Are they told by their food program (we all know how that can go) that a child has to eat something? So maybe thats their alternative to that rule. I know here the schools offer only a cheese sandwich, an apple, maybe carrots if a child doesn't have any lunch money. Many times the sandwich is eaten, everything else thrown away.
Outside of preschool-whats he eating for his other meals-breafast, snacks, dinner? If anything the lunch may play a part in his health issues but not be the total problem. How does he do on the weekends?
Are they told by their food program (we all know how that can go) that a child has to eat something? So maybe thats their alternative to that rule. I know here the schools offer only a cheese sandwich, an apple, maybe carrots if a child doesn't have any lunch money. Many times the sandwich is eaten, everything else thrown away.
rmc20021 06:19 AM 04-11-2013
I do not, and would not ever offer anything different. I have an 8 yo dcg right now that no matter what I serve, her words are, "Actually, I really don't like this". She tried it yesterday and I told her she would get awfully hungry if she didn't eat what I served because THAT was what was for snack. She ALWAYS ends up eating what I serve. If I offered her 'something' else there would be two consequences. #1 the child would always depend on that and never eat anything different #2 all the other children would eventually figure it out and try to do the same thing...NOT HAPPENING.
My ex husband ruined my daughter's eating habits. They would actually ask for a particular food, he would give it to them and then they would refuse it and want something else and he'd give it to them. I used to get so angry about that because they tried doing it with me and that type of game doesn't work with me. If you ask for something you eat it...or nothing. If I make something, you eat it or nothing. PERIOD. I know everyone doesn't have the same tastes, so I understand when a child truly does not like a food but you're setting them up for failure by allowing them to only eat one item if they never 'like' anything.
So often one (or all) of my dck's will look at what I serve and say "ewwwww" without ever tasting it. I insist they try it and they are surprised they actually like it.
My grandkids would live on pb and j if I let them...they are 10 and 16. If I let them go into the kitchen to get what they want to eat...that's always what they choose, whether for breakfast, lunch dinner or whatever. It's all their parents ever gave them and it's what they want now. Pb and j is great sometimes, but NOT for every single day.,
My ex husband ruined my daughter's eating habits. They would actually ask for a particular food, he would give it to them and then they would refuse it and want something else and he'd give it to them. I used to get so angry about that because they tried doing it with me and that type of game doesn't work with me. If you ask for something you eat it...or nothing. If I make something, you eat it or nothing. PERIOD. I know everyone doesn't have the same tastes, so I understand when a child truly does not like a food but you're setting them up for failure by allowing them to only eat one item if they never 'like' anything.
So often one (or all) of my dck's will look at what I serve and say "ewwwww" without ever tasting it. I insist they try it and they are surprised they actually like it.
My grandkids would live on pb and j if I let them...they are 10 and 16. If I let them go into the kitchen to get what they want to eat...that's always what they choose, whether for breakfast, lunch dinner or whatever. It's all their parents ever gave them and it's what they want now. Pb and j is great sometimes, but NOT for every single day.,
Blackcat31 06:26 AM 04-11-2013
Originally Posted by canadiancare:
To be clear when you say provide choices do you mean you would prepare another meal for a child or that there would be options on their plate to eat?
I don't force them to eat all their food but there are several healthy options on that one plate at meal time for them to choose from. I don't pull out another meal for one child who is refusing my offering.
No, I personally don't make separate or alternative meals for anyone.To be clear when you say provide choices do you mean you would prepare another meal for a child or that there would be options on their plate to eat?
I don't force them to eat all their food but there are several healthy options on that one plate at meal time for them to choose from. I don't pull out another meal for one child who is refusing my offering.
I responded to the OP's question about the preschool and what THEY are doing.
I know some centers, preschools and Head Start programs (at least when I worked there) really focus on alternatives and choices for kids when it comes to meals and eating.
HS offered the children the choice between chicken or fish, corn or carrots, bread or a roll, a banana or an orange and of course milk.
THAT is the kind of choices and options I was referring to.
Either choice a child makes still meets the minimum requirements for a fully balance meal.
cheerfuldom 06:30 AM 04-11-2013
I agree with the poster that said to consider what the child is eating at homes for breakfast and dinner. yes lunch is very important. but we all know parents that are quick to blame the preschool or daycare when the parents do play a big role in healthy eating habits, if not a bigger role than the school in this case because he is eating more meals at home than school.
jenn 06:48 AM 04-11-2013
I think it is OK for them to offer another choice. However, the choices should be different every day and should meet nutrition guidelines.
PB&J could be part of a nutritious meal, but if served on its own, would not meet my guidelines. Even if you came up with the most balanced, organic, healthy lunch in the world, I don't think it would be OK to serve it every day.
I don't make 2 meals everyday, but sometimes give simple choices within the meal. I have really good eaters, but it takes some time to get them that way. Some of the pickiest kids will eat something they normally wouldn't if they think they chose it. Today we are having rotini and they will choose white or red sauce. Yesterday for snack I had pears, apples, and bananas. They chose which one or combination of the choices they wanted.
PB&J could be part of a nutritious meal, but if served on its own, would not meet my guidelines. Even if you came up with the most balanced, organic, healthy lunch in the world, I don't think it would be OK to serve it every day.
I don't make 2 meals everyday, but sometimes give simple choices within the meal. I have really good eaters, but it takes some time to get them that way. Some of the pickiest kids will eat something they normally wouldn't if they think they chose it. Today we are having rotini and they will choose white or red sauce. Yesterday for snack I had pears, apples, and bananas. They chose which one or combination of the choices they wanted.
canadiancare 06:57 AM 04-11-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
No, I personally don't make separate or alternative meals for anyone.
I responded to the OP's question about the preschool and what THEY are doing.
I know some centers, preschools and Head Start programs (at least when I worked there) really focus on alternatives and choices for kids when it comes to meals and eating.
HS offered the children the choice between chicken or fish, corn or carrots, bread or a roll, a banana or an orange and of course milk.
THAT is the kind of choices and options I was referring to.
Either choice a child makes still meets the minimum requirements for a fully balance meal.
Ah that makes sense. I wasn't thinking outside of a home daycare situation and I thought you played restaurant everyday so I wasn't envying you at all.No, I personally don't make separate or alternative meals for anyone.
I responded to the OP's question about the preschool and what THEY are doing.
I know some centers, preschools and Head Start programs (at least when I worked there) really focus on alternatives and choices for kids when it comes to meals and eating.
HS offered the children the choice between chicken or fish, corn or carrots, bread or a roll, a banana or an orange and of course milk.
THAT is the kind of choices and options I was referring to.
Either choice a child makes still meets the minimum requirements for a fully balance meal.
This thread made me print out a daily worksheet for the Canada's food guide. I am going to fill it out with what they eat at my place and send it home as an "exercise" for the parents. I think some may be surprised that by the end of a day at my place all their needs have been met for the day.
ksmith 07:01 AM 04-11-2013
I have to agree with the PP that asked what else is he eating. Eating a pb/j sandwich every day for lunch wouldn't be detrimental if he was eating balanced meals for breakfast and dinner. I also do blame the preschool for giving into feeding him what he wants. He will not starve from skipping lunch. If he truly is hungry then he will eat what is given to him. I only made separate meals for children in special circumstances (i.e. allergies, vegetarians, or if I didn't feel comfortable giving them a certain dish, but I would find a similar alternative).
canadiancare 07:32 AM 04-11-2013
Today's lunch is make your own subs and soup.
I have 5 two year olds.
They get a selection of par-boiled veggies on an individual plate, some shredded chicken and then I put a bowl with stock and rice in it in front of them. They put what they want for their soup (they usually just end up dumping everything in the bowl or eating it as is)
For their sub they have a section of a sub bun, swiss cheese, roast beef, lettuce, tomato and a plastic knife with mayo on it.
It is one of their favourite lunches to make.
I have 5 two year olds.
They get a selection of par-boiled veggies on an individual plate, some shredded chicken and then I put a bowl with stock and rice in it in front of them. They put what they want for their soup (they usually just end up dumping everything in the bowl or eating it as is)
For their sub they have a section of a sub bun, swiss cheese, roast beef, lettuce, tomato and a plastic knife with mayo on it.
It is one of their favourite lunches to make.
allsmiles 07:47 AM 04-11-2013
hmmm.. but from what you say the center IS offering him the complete healthy lunch..he just refuses because he knows he will then get a pb&j..did i read that wrong?
i would say the center has done their job..if the mom thinks that him eating pb&j everyday is worse than not eating at all, then perhaps she should pack his lunch and alert the teacher he should only eat his lunch if he refused whats provided.. MAYBE they do require the child to eat SOMETHING.. and i dont think thats such a terrible rule. i certainly wouldnt be offering a second lunch so kudos to them LOL i really don't think when they made the rule they INTENDED for a child to refuse their lunch EVERYDAY and be eating pb&j that often..
i would say the center has done their job..if the mom thinks that him eating pb&j everyday is worse than not eating at all, then perhaps she should pack his lunch and alert the teacher he should only eat his lunch if he refused whats provided.. MAYBE they do require the child to eat SOMETHING.. and i dont think thats such a terrible rule. i certainly wouldnt be offering a second lunch so kudos to them LOL i really don't think when they made the rule they INTENDED for a child to refuse their lunch EVERYDAY and be eating pb&j that often..
AmyKidsCo 08:08 AM 04-11-2013
I don't have an issue with my DCK but DH and I have had many go-rounds about our own kids.
He feels that their choice is to eat what's on the table or wait for the next meal. I would agree IF there was always at least 1 thing each person would like. But when the only foods on the table are things we know they don't like I don't think Take It or Leave It is fair. So we compromise and after taking a "practice bite" of everything they can make PBJ if they want. I'd really prefer to always plan at least 1 food each person likes then let them Take It or Leave It, but DH cooks and I'm not going to tell him what to do.
With the DCK I do make sure that everyone likes at least 1 thing on the table, and there are no alternatives. If I do something "weird" like brussels sprouts I'll have a second vegetable in addition, to make sure they get enough veggies.
He feels that their choice is to eat what's on the table or wait for the next meal. I would agree IF there was always at least 1 thing each person would like. But when the only foods on the table are things we know they don't like I don't think Take It or Leave It is fair. So we compromise and after taking a "practice bite" of everything they can make PBJ if they want. I'd really prefer to always plan at least 1 food each person likes then let them Take It or Leave It, but DH cooks and I'm not going to tell him what to do.
With the DCK I do make sure that everyone likes at least 1 thing on the table, and there are no alternatives. If I do something "weird" like brussels sprouts I'll have a second vegetable in addition, to make sure they get enough veggies.
cheerfuldom 10:25 AM 04-11-2013
I am guessing that possibly the school is offering PBJ and sides and the child is only eating the sandwich....
Hunni Bee 10:32 AM 04-11-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I agree with the poster that said to consider what the child is eating at homes for breakfast and dinner. yes lunch is very important. but we all know parents that are quick to blame the preschool or daycare when the parents do play a big role in healthy eating habits, if not a bigger role than the school in this case because he is eating more meals at home than school.
Oh no, I agree. My sister tries to make healthy choices for dinner, but he's getting so he won't eat anything but snacky stuff....and pb and j. That's what he's served at school. He eats breakfast, lunch and snack there (junk) and then refuses the balanced dinner at home.I agree with the poster that said to consider what the child is eating at homes for breakfast and dinner. yes lunch is very important. but we all know parents that are quick to blame the preschool or daycare when the parents do play a big role in healthy eating habits, if not a bigger role than the school in this case because he is eating more meals at home than school.
I don't feel like its their fault he's a picky eater. He was a picky eater beforehand. But he also knew that he was only getting one meal, and he ate what he wanted from it. Like another poster said, they've set him up to expect a treat lunch and get away with not touching the real lunch. From what I understand, he just says "I dont want this" and they give him a sandwich. Every day.
I guess I have to blame my sister for not doing her homework on this place....
Hunni Bee 10:55 AM 04-11-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
I wholeheartedly a agree with what you mention above. It is keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits, or at least temporarily stopping it.
To offer a child a tasty, yet not very nutritious meal when they will not eat their lunch is, to me, a reward.
If the meal they are offered is balanced, it should contain something that is palatable to everyone. My DC lunch today was roasted chicken, peas, carrots, and tri-colored rotini. I serve all components and what a child eats is up to them. I am not offering unreasonable foods, that children dislike. If you choose not to eat, then the (natural) consequence is that you go hungry. Plus, most schools & DC will be serving milk, and at minimum my pickiest eaters fill up on their milk (which is a pet peeve of mine, but I can't really do anything about that).
Thats what I said. He's picky, but he's not a "mac.and cheese and juice" kid. He eats certain veggies, all fruits, bread and meat. He will refuse something if is mixed up, casserole type or heavily smelly, but I doubt they serve a lot of that anyway. No way every single item on the menu every day is something he doesn't like. I just think it's a "whatever" attitude..."okay, you dont want that. Cool, have a sandwich." I wholeheartedly a agree with what you mention above. It is keeping them from developing unhealthy eating habits, or at least temporarily stopping it.
To offer a child a tasty, yet not very nutritious meal when they will not eat their lunch is, to me, a reward.
If the meal they are offered is balanced, it should contain something that is palatable to everyone. My DC lunch today was roasted chicken, peas, carrots, and tri-colored rotini. I serve all components and what a child eats is up to them. I am not offering unreasonable foods, that children dislike. If you choose not to eat, then the (natural) consequence is that you go hungry. Plus, most schools & DC will be serving milk, and at minimum my pickiest eaters fill up on their milk (which is a pet peeve of mine, but I can't really do anything about that).
I hate to be one of those parents, but I may go and have lunch with him one day to see what goes on.