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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How to Handle Lying DCP
BumbleBee 04:51 PM 01-14-2013
Dcp texted me this am telling me they were called in and would be dropping off in 45 min. Drop-ins are as available as this was not a scheduled day for dck. I immediately called dcp and told them I did have an opening today, they were welcome to drop dck off, and the total for the day-due upon drop off in cash.
At drop dcp says this to me: "Even if you didn't have an opening today I would've still dropped dck off. I have to work and if you can't be reliable then I guess I'll find someone who is. It's not like you're full or anything. Oh, here's your money."
To which I respond: "If you choose to try and drop off dck when I do not have an opening, you will be turned away at the door. You are welcome to find other child care at any time. Thank you for the payment. Have a nice day."
End of the day family member picks up as dcp was still working. As family member is getting child ready to leave they make this comment: "I can't believe dcp waited until this am to let you know they were working today. They got the schedule last Wednesday!"
I simply said "things happen" and left it at that. I was not comfortable discussing it with the family member as my contract is with dcp.
Dck is scheduled tomorrow and Wed. What do I say to dcp? It needs to be addressed as lying is a big no-no for me. I'm pretty upset about it & truth be told, mad. I'm just not quite sure what to say. Any ideas?
At drop dcp says this to me: "Even if you didn't have an opening today I would've still dropped dck off. I have to work and if you can't be reliable then I guess I'll find someone who is. It's not like you're full or anything. Oh, here's your money."
To which I respond: "If you choose to try and drop off dck when I do not have an opening, you will be turned away at the door. You are welcome to find other child care at any time. Thank you for the payment. Have a nice day."
End of the day family member picks up as dcp was still working. As family member is getting child ready to leave they make this comment: "I can't believe dcp waited until this am to let you know they were working today. They got the schedule last Wednesday!"
I simply said "things happen" and left it at that. I was not comfortable discussing it with the family member as my contract is with dcp.
Dck is scheduled tomorrow and Wed. What do I say to dcp? It needs to be addressed as lying is a big no-no for me. I'm pretty upset about it & truth be told, mad. I'm just not quite sure what to say. Any ideas?
blandino 05:25 PM 01-14-2013
Okay, well the way he spoke to you was UNACCEPTABLE. If you don't want to term them, then I would seriously sit down and explain that unless they are going to schedule a day (and pay for it) then they have NO right to it at all. You are only reliable for the days they have dck scheduled for. (it's the unreliable part that has me on FIRE right now).
But I am confused as what the lie was ? I have tried reading it again, and can't figure out what part was the lie ?
But I am confused as what the lie was ? I have tried reading it again, and can't figure out what part was the lie ?
Former Teacher 05:31 PM 01-14-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
But I am confused as what the lie was ? I have tried reading it again, and can't figure out what part was the lie ?
Parent told the PP that they were called into work. Yet when the family member picked up the child, the PP was told that the parent got their schedule last week.But I am confused as what the lie was ? I have tried reading it again, and can't figure out what part was the lie ?
CedarCreek 05:31 PM 01-14-2013
I think the lie was that he got "called in" when in fact he had known he needed to work that day last week, is that right op?bI agree, the way he spoke to you was completely unacceptable. He does not make the rules for YOUR home. I would be having a serious talk with him about respecting you and your home the next time he drops off dck.
Former Teacher 05:32 PM 01-14-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
Dcp texted me this am telling me they were called in and would be dropping off in 45 min. Drop-ins are as available as this was not a scheduled day for dck. I immediately called dcp and told them I did have an opening today, they were welcome to drop dck off, and the total for the day-due upon drop off in cash.
At drop dcp says this to me: "Even if you didn't have an opening today I would've still dropped dck off. I have to work and if you can't be reliable then I guess I'll find someone who is. It's not like you're full or anything. Oh, here's your money."
To which I respond: "If you choose to try and drop off dck when I do not have an opening, you will be turned away at the door. You are welcome to find other child care at any time. Thank you for the payment. Have a nice day."
End of the day family member picks up as dcp was still working. As family member is getting child ready to leave they make this comment: "I can't believe dcp waited until this am to let you know they were working today. They got the schedule last Wednesday!"
I simply said "things happen" and left it at that. I was not comfortable discussing it with the family member as my contract is with dcp.
Dck is scheduled tomorrow and Wed. What do I say to dcp? It needs to be addressed as lying is a big no-no for me. I'm pretty upset about it & truth be told, mad. I'm just not quite sure what to say. Any ideas?
Personally I would let it go. When the time comes and they show up on your doorstep turn them away.Dcp texted me this am telling me they were called in and would be dropping off in 45 min. Drop-ins are as available as this was not a scheduled day for dck. I immediately called dcp and told them I did have an opening today, they were welcome to drop dck off, and the total for the day-due upon drop off in cash.
At drop dcp says this to me: "Even if you didn't have an opening today I would've still dropped dck off. I have to work and if you can't be reliable then I guess I'll find someone who is. It's not like you're full or anything. Oh, here's your money."
To which I respond: "If you choose to try and drop off dck when I do not have an opening, you will be turned away at the door. You are welcome to find other child care at any time. Thank you for the payment. Have a nice day."
End of the day family member picks up as dcp was still working. As family member is getting child ready to leave they make this comment: "I can't believe dcp waited until this am to let you know they were working today. They got the schedule last Wednesday!"
I simply said "things happen" and left it at that. I was not comfortable discussing it with the family member as my contract is with dcp.
Dck is scheduled tomorrow and Wed. What do I say to dcp? It needs to be addressed as lying is a big no-no for me. I'm pretty upset about it & truth be told, mad. I'm just not quite sure what to say. Any ideas?
Bugsworthy 05:39 PM 01-14-2013
I wouldn't address the lie, because you can not prove it. It's going to be a "he said, she said".
My issue would be the blatant disrespect at the door. I think you handled it very well!
My issue would be the blatant disrespect at the door. I think you handled it very well!
cheerfuldom 06:05 PM 01-14-2013
I agree with the PP! I think you did what needed to be done and I would not address what the family member said because you dont even know it was true and there is no point to go looking for an extra fight.
MarinaVanessa 06:08 PM 01-14-2013
Wait, I'm confused 
. Who's unreliable????
You, the daycare provider that is available on the days that they are CONTRACTED for or the parents who both failed to tell you that they would be needing you when they had plenty of notice in advance and just assumed that you were going to take their child.
For me this would definitely be a discussion.
"Hi Susan. I was thinking about yesterday and realized that there is some confusion in what you think my responsibilities are so I wanted to clarify. I am only guaranteed to be available for Little Johnny on the days that we have contracted which are [dates] from [times] like in our contract agreement. Any other days that you need to add on are not guaranteed so it's best to let me know with as much advance notice as possible so that I can save a spot for you. If you would like me to have a spot for Little Johnny all the time every day of the week then I can do that but that means you will need to pay for a full-time spot. Otherwise other days that you are not contracted for depend on availability. You can't assume that I will always have room because I take drop-ins occasionally and I sometimes don't have room on the days that Little johnny isn't usually here."
I'd hope that she mentions something about how she can't help it if they get called in on short notice then I'd reply with ...
"Yes that's very true and unfortunately if I am full on a day like that I won't be able to accommodate Little Johnny. As for yesterday, well .... that wasn't the case. Your cousin Ralph mentioned that the schedules were handed out last Wednesday."
. Who's unreliable????You, the daycare provider that is available on the days that they are CONTRACTED for or the parents who both failed to tell you that they would be needing you when they had plenty of notice in advance and just assumed that you were going to take their child.
For me this would definitely be a discussion.
"Hi Susan. I was thinking about yesterday and realized that there is some confusion in what you think my responsibilities are so I wanted to clarify. I am only guaranteed to be available for Little Johnny on the days that we have contracted which are [dates] from [times] like in our contract agreement. Any other days that you need to add on are not guaranteed so it's best to let me know with as much advance notice as possible so that I can save a spot for you. If you would like me to have a spot for Little Johnny all the time every day of the week then I can do that but that means you will need to pay for a full-time spot. Otherwise other days that you are not contracted for depend on availability. You can't assume that I will always have room because I take drop-ins occasionally and I sometimes don't have room on the days that Little johnny isn't usually here."
I'd hope that she mentions something about how she can't help it if they get called in on short notice then I'd reply with ...
"Yes that's very true and unfortunately if I am full on a day like that I won't be able to accommodate Little Johnny. As for yesterday, well .... that wasn't the case. Your cousin Ralph mentioned that the schedules were handed out last Wednesday."
BumbleBee 06:27 PM 01-14-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
Okay, well the way he spoke to you was UNACCEPTABLE. If you don't want to term them, then I would seriously sit down and explain that unless they are going to schedule a day (and pay for it) then they have NO right to it at all. You are only reliable for the days they have dck scheduled for. (it's the unreliable part that has me on FIRE right now).
I agree, completely unacceptable. Drop-ins are as available & first come first serve. They do have scheduled days, Mondays are not a scheduled day for dck. Regardless, we will be having a serious chat tomorrow. And yes, the unreliable part had me seething. While the words in my response were "professional" the tone was anything but nice.Okay, well the way he spoke to you was UNACCEPTABLE. If you don't want to term them, then I would seriously sit down and explain that unless they are going to schedule a day (and pay for it) then they have NO right to it at all. You are only reliable for the days they have dck scheduled for. (it's the unreliable part that has me on FIRE right now).
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
Parent told the PP that they were called into work. Yet when the family member picked up the child, the PP was told that the parent got their schedule last week.
Yup, exactly.Parent told the PP that they were called into work. Yet when the family member picked up the child, the PP was told that the parent got their schedule last week.
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
Personally I would let it go. When the time comes and they show up on your doorstep turn them away.
With a term letter Personally I would let it go. When the time comes and they show up on your doorstep turn them away.
Originally Posted by Bugsworthy:
I wouldn't address the lie, because you can not prove it. It's going to be a "he said, she said".
My issue would be the blatant disrespect at the door. I think you handled it very well!
I didn't think of that-the he said she said thing. Good point. Thank you.I wouldn't address the lie, because you can not prove it. It's going to be a "he said, she said".
My issue would be the blatant disrespect at the door. I think you handled it very well!
We will be having a serious chat tomorrow morning. Dck is my first drop off by a few hours. I have typed out a letter as well-to be signed & dated by dcp and myself regarding respect and expectations from here forward. Additionally, the dc family will be moved to a 3 strikes you're out probation effective tomorrow-also in the letter.
If things go sour, I have a termination letter ready to go. Money wise, I can't afford to term but sanity wise I can't afford not to.
Shape up or ship out!
Thanks guys!
BumbleBee 06:44 PM 01-14-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I agree with the PP! I think you did what needed to be done and I would not address what the family member said because you dont even know it was true and there is no point to go looking for an extra fight.
True, I don't know if it's true about when dcp got their schedule. I agree with the PP! I think you did what needed to be done and I would not address what the family member said because you dont even know it was true and there is no point to go looking for an extra fight.
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Wait, I'm confused. Who's unreliable????
You, the daycare provider that is available on the days that they are CONTRACTED for or the parents who both failed to tell you that they would be needing you when they had plenty of notice in advance and just assumed that you were going to take their child.
For me this would definitely be a discussion.
"Hi Susan. I was thinking about yesterday and realized that there is some confusion in what you think my responsibilities are so I wanted to clarify. I am only guaranteed to be available for Little Johnny on the days that we have contracted which are [dates] from [times] like in our contract agreement. Any other days that you need to add on are not guaranteed so it's best to let me know with as much advance notice as possible so that I can save a spot for you. If you would like me to have a spot for Little Johnny all the time every day of the week then I can do that but that means you will need to pay for a full-time spot. Otherwise other days that you are not contracted for depend on availability. You can't assume that I will always have room because I take drop-ins occasionally and I sometimes don't have room on the days that Little johnny isn't usually here."
I'd hope that she mentions something about how she can't help it if they get called in on short notice then I'd reply with ...
"Yes that's very true and unfortunately if I am full on a day like that I won't be able to accommodate Little Johnny. As for yesterday, well .... that wasn't the case. Your cousin Ralph mentioned that the schedules were handed out last Wednesday."
I like your style MV Wait, I'm confused
. Who's unreliable????You, the daycare provider that is available on the days that they are CONTRACTED for or the parents who both failed to tell you that they would be needing you when they had plenty of notice in advance and just assumed that you were going to take their child.
For me this would definitely be a discussion.
"Hi Susan. I was thinking about yesterday and realized that there is some confusion in what you think my responsibilities are so I wanted to clarify. I am only guaranteed to be available for Little Johnny on the days that we have contracted which are [dates] from [times] like in our contract agreement. Any other days that you need to add on are not guaranteed so it's best to let me know with as much advance notice as possible so that I can save a spot for you. If you would like me to have a spot for Little Johnny all the time every day of the week then I can do that but that means you will need to pay for a full-time spot. Otherwise other days that you are not contracted for depend on availability. You can't assume that I will always have room because I take drop-ins occasionally and I sometimes don't have room on the days that Little johnny isn't usually here."
I'd hope that she mentions something about how she can't help it if they get called in on short notice then I'd reply with ...
"Yes that's very true and unfortunately if I am full on a day like that I won't be able to accommodate Little Johnny. As for yesterday, well .... that wasn't the case. Your cousin Ralph mentioned that the schedules were handed out last Wednesday."
As for the unreliable-yeah-you hit the nail on the head there.I just signed on a little one who is CONTRACTED for Monday's (completing paperwork on Wed)....which means NO drop-ins for the under 18 month crowd on Monday's. Unfortunately for "reliable dcp" their little one is in that crowd.
BumbleBee 07:15 AM 01-15-2013
We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
daycarediva 07:28 AM 01-15-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
way to stand your ground! People only treat you the way that you allow them to!
melilley 08:18 AM 01-15-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
Way to go! I hope if/when something like that happens to me that I can do what you did!
daycare 04:22 PM 01-15-2013
my question to the DCP would have been how do you know when I am full or not??
MarinaVanessa 11:55 AM 01-16-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
I love you and you are my hero!!! We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
I know it felt good to you when you did it ... being fair, stern and firm does not always equal mean but it does mean effective. So now either she will stop (yay for you), she will not stop and you will have to term and replace her (ok still a yay for you) or she will choose to leave hopefully out of embarrassment (but maybe that's wishful thinking
). As for Mondays ... I like to call that a little bit of karma. I'd be giddy with anticipation of being able to tell her
"Oh yeah and Susan ... by the way I just signed on another client and my Mondays are filled to the max so Mondays aren't available for drop-ins for kids of Johnny's age."
lovemykidstoo 12:11 PM 01-16-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Wait, I'm confused. Who's unreliable????
You, the daycare provider that is available on the days that they are CONTRACTED for or the parents who both failed to tell you that they would be needing you when they had plenty of notice in advance and just assumed that you were going to take their child.
For me this would definitely be a discussion.
"Hi Susan. I was thinking about yesterday and realized that there is some confusion in what you think my responsibilities are so I wanted to clarify. I am only guaranteed to be available for Little Johnny on the days that we have contracted which are [dates] from [times] like in our contract agreement. Any other days that you need to add on are not guaranteed so it's best to let me know with as much advance notice as possible so that I can save a spot for you. If you would like me to have a spot for Little Johnny all the time every day of the week then I can do that but that means you will need to pay for a full-time spot. Otherwise other days that you are not contracted for depend on availability. You can't assume that I will always have room because I take drop-ins occasionally and I sometimes don't have room on the days that Little johnny isn't usually here."
I'd hope that she mentions something about how she can't help it if they get called in on short notice then I'd reply with ...
"Yes that's very true and unfortunately if I am full on a day like that I won't be able to accommodate Little Johnny. As for yesterday, well .... that wasn't the case. Your cousin Ralph mentioned that the schedules were handed out last Wednesday."
This is most definately the conversation I would have. The nerve of some people!Wait, I'm confused
. Who's unreliable????You, the daycare provider that is available on the days that they are CONTRACTED for or the parents who both failed to tell you that they would be needing you when they had plenty of notice in advance and just assumed that you were going to take their child.
For me this would definitely be a discussion.
"Hi Susan. I was thinking about yesterday and realized that there is some confusion in what you think my responsibilities are so I wanted to clarify. I am only guaranteed to be available for Little Johnny on the days that we have contracted which are [dates] from [times] like in our contract agreement. Any other days that you need to add on are not guaranteed so it's best to let me know with as much advance notice as possible so that I can save a spot for you. If you would like me to have a spot for Little Johnny all the time every day of the week then I can do that but that means you will need to pay for a full-time spot. Otherwise other days that you are not contracted for depend on availability. You can't assume that I will always have room because I take drop-ins occasionally and I sometimes don't have room on the days that Little johnny isn't usually here."
I'd hope that she mentions something about how she can't help it if they get called in on short notice then I'd reply with ...
"Yes that's very true and unfortunately if I am full on a day like that I won't be able to accommodate Little Johnny. As for yesterday, well .... that wasn't the case. Your cousin Ralph mentioned that the schedules were handed out last Wednesday."
lovemykidstoo 12:14 PM 01-16-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
I didn't realize that this happened yesterday. Good for you!!! Doesn't it feel great when you stand up for yourself? Great job!We had a serious chat this am.
When I started talking dcp was obviously not listening. I stopped, took a deep breath & went from "professional but nice" to "professional but stern."
Me: "Listen, as of today you have been put on probation. The way you spoke to me and acted yesterday will NOT happen again. Consider this your warning. If you EVER speak to me like that again I will terminate our child care arrangment immediately."
Dcp face -
Now to follow through if it happens again. I have the term paper ready.
BumbleBee 04:40 PM 01-16-2013
Thanks everyone
Honestly I was shakin like a leaf in a hurricane & felt like a turd afterwards.
Today I feel empowered
Honestly I was shakin like a leaf in a hurricane & felt like a turd afterwards.
Today I feel empowered
Unregistered 08:39 PM 01-16-2013
Had this been my house I'd have handed back the kid tossed the money in the dirt and said "I just got a call about an appointment so looks like I won't be able to watch dck today. Oh and since you think you can talk to me like I'm your step child you can this as notice of termination."
Shut door in face walk away.
Shut door in face walk away.
MarinaVanessa 10:35 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Had this been my house I'd have handed back the kid tossed the money in the dirt and said "I just got a call about an appointment so looks like I won't be able to watch dck today. Oh and since you think you can talk to me like I'm your step child you can this as notice of termination."
Shut door in face walk away.
This is deffinetely what I would have wanted to do ... can't say that I would actually do it but deffinetely what I would have wanted to do Had this been my house I'd have handed back the kid tossed the money in the dirt and said "I just got a call about an appointment so looks like I won't be able to watch dck today. Oh and since you think you can talk to me like I'm your step child you can this as notice of termination."
Shut door in face walk away.
.
Sprouts 07:01 PM 01-17-2013
Make sure to give her a "probation" memo or notice , CYA