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  #1  
Old 06-04-2013, 05:37 AM
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Default So Tired Of Parents

I seriously have about had it with a couple of my parents. The one comes in this morning with his twin girls (4 yrs old) and one of them has a poptart. While the other 4 kids sit and stare at her. I asked dad if he had enough for all of them. DUH! That went in the garbage.

Second mom comes in and ALWAYS picks up between 4 -4:30. She says that her husband is picking up today (he has never picked up in a year) and that he would be "later". I said, ahhhh how much late? She said oh about 5:00. Ahhh nope, because I need to be out of here no later than 5:00 because I have my sons track meet. She says oh you didn't tell me. That's because you're always gone by 4-4:30 and YOU didn't tell me that you needed extra time today. Oh hubby is getting his haircut at 4:30, she says oh I guess he could take dcb with him to get haircut. Why can't people handle taking their kids anywhere? Drives me nuts. Not to mention that if he's getting his haircut at 4:30, there is no way he'll be here by 5:00.
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Old 06-04-2013, 05:58 AM
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Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
I seriously have about had it with a couple of my parents. The one comes in this morning with his twin girls (4 yrs old) and one of them has a poptart. While the other 4 kids sit and stare at her. I asked dad if he had enough for all of them. DUH! That went in the garbage.

Second mom comes in and ALWAYS picks up between 4 -4:30. She says that her husband is picking up today (he has never picked up in a year) and that he would be "later". I said, ahhhh how much late? She said oh about 5:00. Ahhh nope, because I need to be out of here no later than 5:00 because I have my sons track meet. She says oh you didn't tell me. That's because you're always gone by 4-4:30 and YOU didn't tell me that you needed extra time today. Oh hubby is getting his haircut at 4:30, she says oh I guess he could take dcb with him to get haircut. Why can't people handle taking their kids anywhere? Drives me nuts. Not to mention that if he's getting his haircut at 4:30, there is no way he'll be here by 5:00.
LOL! Guess what? I am getting my hair cut next week & am taking all 3 of my kids with me! Good for standing your ground!
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Old 06-04-2013, 08:50 AM
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When I worked and had 3 kids in daycare (3, 3, 5), I never stopped from the minute I left work until I got to the provider's house.

I felt that my kids had been stuck at the provider's house all day and would enjoy stopping at the store, beauty shop, post office, or wherever I had to go.

I'll be going to get my haircut today and taking all of my daycare kids with me (18 mos, 3 1/2, 5, 6, 7, 10).
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Old 06-04-2013, 09:02 AM
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I know, that's what drives me nuts. Noone can do anything with their kids in tow. They always have to have someone else take care of them while they do anything. Back when my son was under a year old, I would put him in his exersaucer and put him in the front door while I shoveled the snow from the sidewalk. I could see him the entire time and he watched me. These people can't take a shower without grandma watching him. Then she gets all pissy with me because daddy has to get his haircut because she wants to extend her time by 1/2 hour today. Too bad!!! She didn't even ask me if it was okay either whiched pieved me off. She called a little bit ago and said that he would pick him up by at 4:30. Thought he had a haircut appt at 4:30. Hmmm.
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Old 06-04-2013, 10:49 AM
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So true! I could go on and on with stories! When I worked in a center, many of the parents would come in in their pj's and actually tell me that they were going to go home to get ready for work! It blew my mind! What do these people do on the weekends? Never leave the house? Or some had infants and would go grocery shopping before picking them up. Infants, who sit in a car seat! I had one parent who had every Friday off and EVERY Friday his children were at the center! I can see every once in a while doing this, but it happened all the time and it seemed to be the same families!
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Old 06-04-2013, 11:00 AM
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So true! I could go on and on with stories! When I worked in a center, many of the parents would come in in their pj's and actually tell me that they were going to go home to get ready for work! It blew my mind! What do these people do on the weekends? Never leave the house? Or some had infants and would go grocery shopping before picking them up. Infants, who sit in a car seat! I had one parent who had every Friday off and EVERY Friday his children were at the center! I can see every once in a while doing this, but it happened all the time and it seemed to be the same families!
One of my dcf's do this now. Dad drops off in the morning and comes in his sweatpants and says he goes back home to get ready. Also the thing with him is, I live between their house and his work, so he has to drop him off, go back and get ready for work and then go past my house again for work. Seems like alot of work to me. The child is 2 and is one of my best kids too.
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Old 06-04-2013, 11:14 AM
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I had an interview last month with a young couple who were expecting and need care in October. Somehow the subject came up of people leaving their kids at daycare when they had days off. I'm not sure who brought it up but, their expressions looked like they didn't agree with that so I said to them that you wouldn't think that many parents do that, but they do. And then they said "we would never do that......yeah right" and laughed! I don't think they understood what I was saying. I also think that they were overwhelmed with the thought of actually having a baby, not just being pregnant and were nervous. It was kind of cute because they were younger and I remember being nervous with my first child, but if for some reason I have an opening then that they won't actually do that too often!
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Old 06-04-2013, 11:25 AM
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I remember years ago I was taking care of a little girl around 3 years old,plus had another daycare child at 2 yrs old,plus my own 2, who were 5 & 3 at the time and the Mom of the 3 yr old girl had the day off and I still had her daughter that day because she said she could not do her shopping if she had to take care her daughter with.......But I also had to run a errand that day with all of my kids, so I took them with and as I was coming into the target store,kids in toe, here comes the Mom out of the store and all she said was Hi, see you later to her daughter. Now if I could take her child plus all the rest with me as I ran my errand, wouldn't you think that she should have been embarrassed that she couldn't even take her own child with her, but the daycare lady did it with her daughter plus the rest? NO! She came to pick her up, a little late that day even and said nothing about see us.
Now that takes the cake,wouldn't you say!
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Old 06-04-2013, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by melilley View Post
So true! I could go on and on with stories! When I worked in a center, many of the parents would come in in their pj's and actually tell me that they were going to go home to get ready for work! It blew my mind! What do these people do on the weekends? Never leave the house? Or some had infants and would go grocery shopping before picking them up. Infants, who sit in a car seat! I had one parent who had every Friday off and EVERY Friday his children were at the center! I can see every once in a while doing this, but it happened all the time and it seemed to be the same families!
I have a family that began here with their children attending 3-4 days per week because that is how many days per week they work. Now, the children attend 5 days per week from the minute I open until the minute I close (or, sometimes after I close and then they get mad when they are charged a late fee which has never changed).

I actually had one family sign on knowing what the extended hours rate was only to make a fuss about it. It wasn't that they actually NEEDED that extra hour. Mom just wanted it to go grocery shopping, get her nails done, get a tattoo, etc. All of which happened during the 1 month those children were enrolled and they were paying that extra hour fee until they realized I wasn't going to stop charging them for it no matter how much they tried to negotiate the extra hour for free. Seriously.
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Old 06-04-2013, 12:26 PM
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I do everything with either four or five kids! It gets interesting.
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  #11  
Old 06-04-2013, 04:16 PM
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So, I DO wonder how people manage to get their hair cut with say, a 14 month old along...what do you do with your child while you are getting your hair washed? Who is watching your child while your hair is being cut? I don't LIKE watching kids when I could be getting paid to have their parents take care of them, either (really, I would prefer that parents always picked up as soon as they get off work, too!), but more than I hate that, I hate parents who bring their kids to hair salons and other such places and let their kids run around while they have their services performed. Granted, daycare moms usually have the best behaved kids, but still-I would have a hard time believing that anyone could just park their 13, 14, 15 month old on a chair in the waiting room and have them stay there behaving.

Sometimes parents have things to do that are difficult or impossible to do with kids around (sometimes they WANT to do things with no kids around). I understand that. I have a full time kid this week whose mom just lost her job. She told me that she had lots to do at home and asked if I could keep her until she gets caught up.

I think that many of us either don't know or forgot how hard it is to work full time away from home and parent a kid under 5. It's HARD. It's exhausting. Doing daycare, I have VERY little time to attend to my own home, but somehow, I manage to get a load of laundry done here and there, get dinner made before 5PM, etc. Evenings are just for me and my little guy-mom's who work away from home have to squeeze in a day's housework, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, baths, reading to kids, etc. in just a few hours. I feel for them. As much as I wish they would pick up their kids any chance they have, I understand why they don't...and they are probably able to BETTER care for their kids for the little bit of extra time they have to get things done.

I don't believe they leave their kids with us out of neglect, but out of necessity. And I am GLAD I am not in their shoes.
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Old 06-04-2013, 05:33 PM
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There are people like us who can handle almost anything and everything to do with kids and there are people who cant.

I don't get upset at the parents who cant do it and don't care that they do things outside of work while their kids are here. as long as they are either on time, or paying me extra then they can do as they please.

I have my fair share of wanting to just bang my head on the wall when it comes to dealing with some of the parents, but I always find some way to come around and cope. It does take me a few days sometimes, but for the most part, I can share your pain.
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Old 06-04-2013, 06:47 PM
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I remember years ago I was taking care of a little girl around 3 years old,plus had another daycare child at 2 yrs old,plus my own 2, who were 5 & 3 at the time and the Mom of the 3 yr old girl had the day off and I still had her daughter that day because she said she could not do her shopping if she had to take care her daughter with.......But I also had to run a errand that day with all of my kids, so I took them with and as I was coming into the target store,kids in toe, here comes the Mom out of the store and all she said was Hi, see you later to her daughter. Now if I could take her child plus all the rest with me as I ran my errand, wouldn't you think that she should have been embarrassed that she couldn't even take her own child with her, but the daycare lady did it with her daughter plus the rest? NO! She came to pick her up, a little late that day even and said nothing about see us.
Now that takes the cake,wouldn't you say!
I have a dcm who cannot control her kids and brings them to me whenever they have any kind of appointment or shopping. She has a 5 yr old and a 2.5 year old. I have a 6 yr old and a 15 month old and i take all the kids out to run errands or if my kids have appointments or activities when they are with me. She has told me she can't control her own kids let alone more kids. I have no problems making them all behave
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Old 06-04-2013, 08:15 PM
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I worked when my 3 kids were little, and while I normally took them with me on errands, I did not take them for things like haircuts or doctor appointments. My kids were great, well-behaved kids, but I think it's too much to expect them to sit nicely for things like that and I never wanted them to be a burden on others.

As far as the PP's situation, that was crappy of the parent to expect that you would stay late without prior approval. Dad should have just taken off work a little early or something.
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Old 06-05-2013, 04:18 AM
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I'm curious as to whether DCD actually picked up on time.
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:36 AM
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I deal with this stuff from parents all the time. I especially find it intereating when, for example rhwre are 2 kids in carw and thwy have to srop one off to take the other one to an appt. Why can't they take both? I am a mom of 3 and since their births have carted them evetywhere!!
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:46 AM
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So, I DO wonder how people manage to get their hair cut with say, a 14 month old along...what do you do with your child while you are getting your hair washed? Who is watching your child while your hair is being cut? I don't LIKE watching kids when I could be getting paid to have their parents take care of them, either (really, I would prefer that parents always picked up as soon as they get off work, too!), but more than I hate that, I hate parents who bring their kids to hair salons and other such places and let their kids run around while they have their services performed. Granted, daycare moms usually have the best behaved kids, but still-I would have a hard time believing that anyone could just park their 13, 14, 15 month old on a chair in the waiting room and have them stay there behaving.

Sometimes parents have things to do that are difficult or impossible to do with kids around (sometimes they WANT to do things with no kids around). I understand that. I have a full time kid this week whose mom just lost her job. She told me that she had lots to do at home and asked if I could keep her until she gets caught up.

I think that many of us either don't know or forgot how hard it is to work full time away from home and parent a kid under 5. It's HARD. It's exhausting. Doing daycare, I have VERY little time to attend to my own home, but somehow, I manage to get a load of laundry done here and there, get dinner made before 5PM, etc. Evenings are just for me and my little guy-mom's who work away from home have to squeeze in a day's housework, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, baths, reading to kids, etc. in just a few hours. I feel for them. As much as I wish they would pick up their kids any chance they have, I understand why they don't...and they are probably able to BETTER care for their kids for the little bit of extra time they have to get things done.

I don't believe they leave their kids with us out of neglect, but out of necessity. And I am GLAD I am not in their shoes.
I agree. Occasionally I get a parent who just wants to not be bothered with their child. Well just once really....she was surprised when I was taking off New Year's Day cause how would she go out and drink and watch her child the next day? But other than that, I agree.

Also, my child care provider friend said she often gets the question "How do you watch so many children?" at interviews. She takes our legal limit which is six. They want to make sure their children won't be lost in the shuffle. She explains to them that just like they are good at their job she has been doing hers for years and has it down to a science. She might say "Well you are an accountant and I don't have a head for math which comes easy to you. It is the same with me and children."

My daughter is a single parent and it is HARD.

Laurel
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Old 06-05-2013, 09:13 AM
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So, I DO wonder how people manage to get their hair cut with say, a 14 month old along...what do you do with your child while you are getting your hair washed? Who is watching your child while your hair is being cut? I don't LIKE watching kids when I could be getting paid to have their parents take care of them, either (really, I would prefer that parents always picked up as soon as they get off work, too!), but more than I hate that, I hate parents who bring their kids to hair salons and other such places and let their kids run around while they have their services performed. Granted, daycare moms usually have the best behaved kids, but still-I would have a hard time believing that anyone could just park their 13, 14, 15 month old on a chair in the waiting room and have them stay there behaving.

Sometimes parents have things to do that are difficult or impossible to do with kids around (sometimes they WANT to do things with no kids around). I understand that. I have a full time kid this week whose mom just lost her job. She told me that she had lots to do at home and asked if I could keep her until she gets caught up.

I think that many of us either don't know or forgot how hard it is to work full time away from home and parent a kid under 5. It's HARD. It's exhausting. Doing daycare, I have VERY little time to attend to my own home, but somehow, I manage to get a load of laundry done here and there, get dinner made before 5PM, etc. Evenings are just for me and my little guy-mom's who work away from home have to squeeze in a day's housework, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, baths, reading to kids, etc. in just a few hours. I feel for them. As much as I wish they would pick up their kids any chance they have, I understand why they don't...and they are probably able to BETTER care for their kids for the little bit of extra time they have to get things done.

I don't believe they leave their kids with us out of neglect, but out of necessity. And I am GLAD I am not in their shoes.


I see both sides. I've said before that I was raised by a SAHM and remember lots of boredom and doing some pretty dangerous things while were unsupervised after being told repeatedly to "go and play" so she could get things done. A few hours of day care probably would have been an better option.
I'll be honest and admit that I HATE when I decide to treat myself to an adult service (like a mani/pedi, not another kind of adult service! lol) and someone has their kids there. Eventually the child gets bored and starts acting up. And since I'm with kids almost 60 hours of the week, it's the LAST thing I want to deal with when I manage to get a few hours to myself. My hairdresser doesn't even allow young children IN her salon. And that's one of the reasons I go there!
All that said, if a dc parent typically picks up at 4:30, I think it's reasonable for the provider to make 5:00 plans without feeling they need to tell/justify/explain to the parent.
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Old 06-05-2013, 10:48 AM
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I see both sides. I've said before that I was raised by a SAHM and remember lots of boredom and doing some pretty dangerous things while were unsupervised after being told repeatedly to "go and play" so she could get things done. A few hours of day care probably would have been an better option.
I'll be honest and admit that I HATE when I decide to treat myself to an adult service (like a mani/pedi, not another kind of adult service! lol) and someone has their kids there. Eventually the child gets bored and starts acting up. And since I'm with kids almost 60 hours of the week, it's the LAST thing I want to deal with when I manage to get a few hours to myself. My hairdresser doesn't even allow young children IN her salon. And that's one of the reasons I go there!
All that said, if a dc parent typically picks up at 4:30, I think it's reasonable for the provider to make 5:00 plans without feeling they need to tell/justify/explain to the parent.
That's what I thought too. She ended up picking up her son at 4:00. Guess dad couldn't handle taking dcb with him to get a haircut. She was all a mess, said she was all stressed out because she had so much to do for a family wedding this weekend. She was still kinda irritated that she had to pickup at normal time. Get over it.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 06-05-2013 at 01:08 PM. Reason: fixed quote
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Old 06-05-2013, 10:55 AM
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for the record, the lady that does my hair told me last time i was in that she hates when ppl bring their kids in with them!.. an older one is okay..but she hates when they run around destroying things and playing with things that are not theirs..!.. and on the parent side of this, i understand where some of you providers are coming from... i have a son and if i take a day off i USUALLY spend it with him..BUT, as parents we are paying you to watch our kids, so in some cases it shouldn't be questioned what we are doing with the time(doctor appts, errands, etc.)as long as we drop off and pick up no later or earlier than usual...

although i do think a mother could ALTEAST stand to go do the groceries with her kid...that's one of my favorite thinigs to do with my son!
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Old 06-05-2013, 11:12 AM
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I can see both sides too, and I think most of us are willing to be reasonable.

In the OP's case, the parent just decided that she would be late, without asking, and dad should be able to get his hair cut with one child along. I've gone with 3 or 4. As a matter of fact, I got one of my daycare clients out of it because the salon ladies were so impressed by my "well behaved kids", they gave my name out.

When my own were little, I'd put them in a stroller, give them a seldom seen toy, maybe break out a lollipop. They never, ever got the option of running around in the salon, the grocery store, or a restaurant. Since I never even started that, they never tried.

I take that back; my 2nd one tried once when he was 4 and I thought he could handle it being out of the cart at the home center. I seem to remember that little event ending him with a smack on the rear and back in the cart. Pretty sure he did better next time. Judge me if you must...

I really don't have a problem with parents taking a day to themselves, or asking if they could come late because they have something to do after work. ASK, and if I can accommodate it, I will. If I can't, I'll say no. If it's every week, though, because they can't do a thing with their child in tow, then I'd be rolling my eyes.
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Old 06-05-2013, 11:42 AM
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I think you all have to go through a lot while managing and taking care of others' kids. But I would say that you cannot expect all parents to be of the same type and nature to think of the carer's convenience or even remember the rules and regulations of the daycare.
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Old 06-05-2013, 12:18 PM
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I think you all have to go through a lot while managing and taking care of others' kids. But I would say that you cannot expect all parents to be of the same type and nature to think of the carer's convenience or even remember the rules and regulations of the daycare.
Oh I most definately think that the parent should remember all of the rules of the daycare. It's really pretty simple. Show up on time, pickup on time,, pay on time. Those are my 3 basic rules LOL

Last edited by Blackcat31; 06-05-2013 at 01:09 PM.
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Old 06-05-2013, 12:18 PM
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I'm curious as to whether DCD actually picked up on time.
Not sure if you saw this, I posted it below.

She ended up picking up her son at 4:00. Guess dad couldn't handle taking dcb with him to get a haircut. She was all a mess, said she was all stressed out because she had so much to do for a family wedding this weekend. She was still kinda irritated that she had to pickup at normal time. Get over it.
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Old 06-05-2013, 01:11 PM
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.BUT, as parents we are paying you to watch our kids, so in some cases it shouldn't be questioned what we are doing with the time(doctor appts, errands, etc.)as long as we drop off and pick up no later or earlier than usual...
Um, actually my daycare parents are paying me to watch their child while they are working.

If they need someone to watch their child while doing something else (i.e.doctor appts, errands, etc.) they can hire a babysitter.
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Old 06-05-2013, 01:18 PM
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The salon my family goes to does not allow children under the age of 8. They are very strict on this policy and have it posted on their website, booking site and right as you walk in the door.

It isn't a fancy place but it is peaceful when you go in.
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Old 06-05-2013, 02:20 PM
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Um, actually my daycare parents are paying me to watch their child while they are working.

If they need someone to watch their child while doing something else (i.e.doctor appts, errands, etc.) they can hire a babysitter.
so, what if a parent dropped off the child and you didn't find out until the end of the day that they didn't go to work..or what if you never find out?.... daycare to me is CARE during the DAY...DAYCARE and you are getting paid..as long as it is within reasonable, scheduled, contracted time, i don't think there should be a fuss on either side. would you term a family for dropping off if they weren't going to work?..is it in contract that they have to be going to a job in order to drop off their child? what if they are just a full time student and needed daycare for class and homeowrk time?
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Old 06-05-2013, 02:57 PM
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so, what if a parent dropped off the child and you didn't find out until the end of the day that they didn't go to work..or what if you never find out?.... daycare to me is CARE during the DAY...DAYCARE and you are getting paid..as long as it is within reasonable, scheduled, contracted time, i don't think there should be a fuss on either side. would you term a family for dropping off if they weren't going to work?..is it in contract that they have to be going to a job in order to drop off their child? what if they are just a full time student and needed daycare for class and homeowrk time?
This is something that is discussed in depth with parents during the interview. They know that part of my philosophy is caring for children means providing care while the parent works.

The parents I enroll value quality face time with their child. I am a professional child care provider NOT a babysitter. My child care families are VERY aware of the difference.

Parents supply me with a work schedule and then contract with me for those times, if they are late they have a fee.

I am not saying I wouldn't make exception but it would be on a very rare occasion and any parent that KNOWING lied or dropped off their child and deliberately withheld from me the fact that they were not at work would be termed immediately.

I totally understand not wanting to bring your child certain places but my reply was basically due to the comment you made about parents paying us, as if that fact alone dictated the right to just expect a provider to care for your child at any time.

I am a child care provider who is in the business of providing care for children while their parent is in school or working.

Hope that makes sense.
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Old 06-05-2013, 03:07 PM
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This is something that is discussed in depth with parents during the interview. They know that part of my philosophy is caring for children means providing care while the parent works.

The parents I enroll value quality face time with their child. I am a professional child care provider NOT a babysitter. My child care families are VERY aware of the difference.

Parents supply me with a work schedule and then contract with me for those times, if they are late they have a fee.

[/b]I am not saying I wouldn't make exception but it would be on a very rare occasion[/b] and any parent that KNOWING lied or dropped off their child and deliberately withheld from me the fact that they were not at work would be termed immediately.

I totally understand not wanting to bring your child certain places but my reply was basically due to the comment you made about parents paying us, as if that fact alone dictated the right to just expect a provider to care for your child at any time.

I am a child care provider who is in the business of providing care for children while their parent is in school or working.

Hope that makes sense.

i guess i agree with that..i don't think it's right, or that DCPs should be okay with it being an everyday thing as well.... just a few months ago i had caught an ugly virus that dehydrated me and made me get a couple IVs for.. it lasted about a week and started on a wednesday night.. i knew it wasn't the best for me to care for my son and i was also too ill to go into work so i stayed home and my son went to daycare...although i never got the daycares thoughts on that... would that not be an acceptable scenario?? (my son at night was being taken care of by my mom so he did not get it or take the virus with him..him nor did any other kids get sick while he was there)
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Old 06-05-2013, 03:36 PM
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i guess i agree with that..i don't think it's right, or that DCPs should be okay with it being an everyday thing as well.... just a few months ago i had caught an ugly virus that dehydrated me and made me get a couple IVs for.. it lasted about a week and started on a wednesday night.. i knew it wasn't the best for me to care for my son and i was also too ill to go into work so i stayed home and my son went to daycare...although i never got the daycares thoughts on that... would that not be an acceptable scenario?? (my son at night was being taken care of by my mom so he did not get it or take the virus with him..him nor did any other kids get sick while he was there)
Not Blackcat, but have a similar policy. I've actually told my parents to bring their kids to dc if they (the parent) were very ill. Most don't simply because that would mean having to get up, get kids dressed, and drive over. Easier for everyone to stay in Jammie's and chill by the tv, I guess
When I first started out I had a child become ill while in my care. I called mom at work to come get, only to be told that mom was off because her day care called out sick then I couldn't get a hold of her because wherever she had gone on her day "off" was out of cell range. The measly $30 fee she paid me for that day did NOT even begin to cover the expense for cleaning and sanitizing my carpets, furniture and toys because her child vomited all over everything. When she pulled up, FIVE minutes after closing I met her at the door with her child's things and a term notice effective immediately.

Oh, and I also told her work she lied

My contract states that I provide a service while you are at WORK or attending SCHOOL, and that for any reason you will not be at these places I must be able to get in touch in case of emergency and pick up must be ON TIME.
All my parents have to initial and sign. I always tell them my story before I go over that part

Last edited by Play Care; 06-06-2013 at 02:52 AM. Reason: Typing on my phone = typos! :D
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Old 06-05-2013, 04:07 PM
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Not Blackcat, but have a similar policy. I've actually told my parents to being their kids to dc if they (the parent) were very ill. Most don't simply because that would mean having to get up, get kids dressed, and drive over. Easier for everyone to stay in Jammie's and chill by the tv, I guess
When I first started out I had a child become ill while in my care. I called mom at work to come get, only to be told that mom was off because her day care called out sick then I couldn't get a hold of her because wherever she had gone on her day "off" was out of cell range. The measly $30 fee she paid me for that day did NOT even begin to cover the expense for cleaning and sanitizing my carpets, furniture and toys because her child vomited all over everything. When she pulled up, FIVE minutes after closing I met her at the door with her child's things and a term notice effective immediately.

Oh, and I also told her work she lied

My contract states that I provide a service while you are at WORK or attending SCHOOL, and that for any reason you will not be at these places I must be able to get in touch in case of emergency and pick up must be ON TIME. All my parents have to initial and sign. I always tell them my story before I go over that part
nice! the least they should do is let you know where in the heck they would be! sheesh!
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Old 06-06-2013, 02:57 PM
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So, I DO wonder how people manage to get their hair cut with say, a 14 month old along...what do you do with your child while you are getting your hair washed? Who is watching your child while your hair is being cut? I don't LIKE watching kids when I could be getting paid to have their parents take care of them, either (really, I would prefer that parents always picked up as soon as they get off work, too!), but more than I hate that, I hate parents who bring their kids to hair salons and other such places and let their kids run around while they have their services performed. Granted, daycare moms usually have the best behaved kids, but still-I would have a hard time believing that anyone could just park their 13, 14, 15 month old on a chair in the waiting room and have them stay there behaving.

Sometimes parents have things to do that are difficult or impossible to do with kids around (sometimes they WANT to do things with no kids around). I understand that. I have a full time kid this week whose mom just lost her job. She told me that she had lots to do at home and asked if I could keep her until she gets caught up.

I think that many of us either don't know or forgot how hard it is to work full time away from home and parent a kid under 5. It's HARD. It's exhausting. Doing daycare, I have VERY little time to attend to my own home, but somehow, I manage to get a load of laundry done here and there, get dinner made before 5PM, etc. Evenings are just for me and my little guy-mom's who work away from home have to squeeze in a day's housework, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, baths, reading to kids, etc. in just a few hours. I feel for them. As much as I wish they would pick up their kids any chance they have, I understand why they don't...and they are probably able to BETTER care for their kids for the little bit of extra time they have to get things done.

I don't believe they leave their kids with us out of neglect, but out of necessity. And I am GLAD I am not in their shoes.
I think that I have sacrificed all of that fun stuff (like hair cuts, etc) especially when my kids were younger. I do bring my kids everywhere else though! In fact, I have an u/s and NST Tuesday. My doctor (who is obviously a comedian) said because my kids are well-behaved, I can bring them and they'll keep an eye on them while I'm in the u/s room. Now that said, the oldest is really going to babysit. She'll take on a twin and the 2nd older will take on the other twin. I will be bribing the crap out of them and if they do good, they get a couple bucks. SO, that said, do I HAVE to take them? Probably not, but it sure is cheaper than paying a sitter so I'll take them and see how they do. Additionally, it's teaching them all responsibility. Did I tell them they'd be watched. I'm no dummy, of course I didn't! lol I'm keeping those details to myself, and letting the older kids feel powerful. I'll let you know how it goes, and if any of them die while we're there. If not, then parents certainly should be able to take their kids places instead of making the dcp's raise the kids FOR them.

That said, if I'm a parent who is sick and can't go to work, and lets say husband COULD go to work and drops of dck, I've paid for that spot, right? Whether or not the child is there. Like the provider, who wants to be off (with pay) when sick, then I the paying parent should be allowed to be off too since I've already paid you. As long as it's in the contracted hours, it shouldn't matter. Like DCP's, I too get sick, need a dr or have a dental appt) I feel that if I've paid you for that time, and am taking the day off to do something important, then I would be pretty miffed if my provider told me I can't do those things. Now, if I'm just going to get my nails done? It would be discourteous of me to take that time off w/o saying anything to the provider. Most DCP's will work with you if you just ask, but to go get brand new haircut which DCP may just like for herself (but not get the chance to do since she's watching everyone else's kid) is just kind of wrong.
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Old 08-02-2013, 04:50 AM
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Um, actually my daycare parents are paying me to watch their child while they are working.

If they need someone to watch their child while doing something else (i.e.doctor appts, errands, etc.) they can hire a babysitter.
I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.
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Old 08-02-2013, 05:07 AM
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I used to get very upset when a kid was here and the parent wasn't working. But it really just effected me. I didn't care when they were ill (I wish I had dc when I'm ill!) or the occasional personal day...
But- I got over it because I felt I had to- I have one boy here who's moms schedule fluctuates from working 2-5 days per week. He is here 5 days most weeks no matter what. I am sad she doesn't want to spend that time with him but... I'm glad to have him and care for him if she isn't willing.
I do tons of stuff with my daycare kids- so yes... It baffles me dcp can't seem to brush their teeth with them home!
I just got to a point where it wasn't worth the energy fighting it. I get paid for my time. It is my job to love and care for them- really- the loser is the parent who is missing all this time they could be spending watching their kid grow and learn! It's over before they know it.
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Old 08-02-2013, 05:09 AM
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I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.
Personally I wouldn't care or say anything about it - but you are missing so much. I don't get angry AT you. I get sad FOR you.
These years will be over before you know it...
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Old 08-02-2013, 06:24 AM
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I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.
As I daycare provider I also got upset when parents brought their child and they had the day off or were sick. I don't anymore as I charge a weekly fee, so parents pay that no matter what,even if their child is not here one day due to illness of the child,so they are paying for the week so they can do what they want if they happen to have the day off or whatever as they still are paying for my time. BUT, as a parent myself of grown children, I feel that they are missing out on precious time with their child that they can never get back and children grow up so fast on us that I think that parents should want to spend as much time with their child as they can as I said before you never will get that time back again. In my opinion, just mine now, not every parent is like this, but parents I think are being really selfish when they have time with their child and they don't want to spend it with them and take them to daycare so they can have "ME" time! If your paying for the time like I have for my daycare, bring your child, but you ARE missing out on your child's Little life and that to me is so sad that you don't want to spend the time with them for the day. They need you and I know of many of my daycare kids have said to me that Mommy doesn't want to be with me today when she has the day off, but I wanted to be with her and just cuddle and play with her. Now, how sad is that to hear from a child and then I will give the child a great big hug and say that I want to play with you and cuddle with you today and that makes them feel better. But it is just so sad to see parents not spending time with their child when they have the time. We daycare providers are raising their children as they are not taking the time to do so,which is sad. I guess I went off of the original post, but just had to express my opinion. Sorry.
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Old 08-02-2013, 06:47 AM
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I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.
This is one of the saddest things I have seen written here in a very long time.

You probably have a cable bill each month too and yet don't watch TV every single second you can.

You probably have a monthly car payment and yet don't drive around all day just to get the most out of your payment.

You probably pay a monthly mortgage or rent and yet don't stay in the house 24/7 just because you're paying for it!

Yet you dump your child every second you can???

The "I'm paying for it, so I might as well use it" excuse is shameful.
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Old 08-02-2013, 06:53 AM
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This is one of the saddest things I have seen written here in a very long time.

You probably have a cable bill each month too and yet don't watch TV every single second you can.

You probably have a monthly car payment and yet don't drive around all day just to get the most out of your payment.

You probably pay a monthly mortgage or rent and yet don't stay in the house 24/7 just because you're paying for it!

Yet you dump your child every second you can???

The "I'm paying for it, so I might as well use it" excuse is shameful.
TOTALLY AGREE with you!
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Old 08-02-2013, 06:56 AM
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Personally I wouldn't care or say anything about it - but you are missing so much. I don't get angry AT you. I get sad FOR you.These years will be over before you know it...
This is sooooo true.

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I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month......there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.
You may pay YOUR provider to care for your child while napping but that would be very unlikely to happen here in my program.

Like I said, this is something that is discussed in depth with ALL enrolling families. They KNOW and SHARE the same parenting philosophies as I do and when I enroll a family we TOGETHER agree as to what activities are and aren't included in their payment to me.

My daycare clients don't pay me as if I am their employee.....they don't dictate how I run my business.

They sign on with me for more than simple care of their child.... If you feel as a parent that simply paying me a weekly rates nets you the right to do as you please while your child is here, I would pass on enrolling you. That is MY choice to do as a business owner just as you have a right as a parent to find the type of care environment that you feel you are paying for.
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Old 08-02-2013, 07:05 AM
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As I daycare provider I also got upset when parents brought their child and they had the day off or were sick. I don't anymore as I charge a weekly fee, so parents pay that no matter what,even if their child is not here one day due to illness of the child,so they are paying for the week so they can do what they want if they happen to have the day off or whatever as they still are paying for my time. BUT, as a parent myself of grown children, I feel that they are missing out on precious time with their child that they can never get back and children grow up so fast on us that I think that parents should want to spend as much time with their child as they can as I said before you never will get that time back again. In my opinion, just mine now, not every parent is like this, but parents I think are being really selfish when they have time with their child and they don't want to spend it with them and take them to daycare so they can have "ME" time! If your paying for the time like I have for my daycare, bring your child, but you ARE missing out on your child's Little life and that to me is so sad that you don't want to spend the time with them for the day. They need you and I know of many of my daycare kids have said to me that Mommy doesn't want to be with me today when she has the day off, but I wanted to be with her and just cuddle and play with her. Now, how sad is that to hear from a child and then I will give the child a great big hug and say that I want to play with you and cuddle with you today and that makes them feel better. But it is just so sad to see parents not spending time with their child when they have the time. We daycare providers are raising their children as they are not taking the time to do so,which is sad. I guess I went off of the original post, but just had to express my opinion. Sorry.
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Old 08-02-2013, 07:19 AM
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All these poor little kids will eventually understand that their parents want to spend as little time with them as possible......it's so heartbreaking.

I get the feeling that for many young parents, a child is nothing more than a fashion accessory. Show off the cute baby and the designer clothes. Brag about a few milestones and then give it somebody to raise as much as possible.
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Old 08-02-2013, 07:38 AM
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I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.
How heartbreaking for your child. Imagine spending your childhood knowing that your parent would rather drop you at daycare than spend time with you. Heartbreaking.
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Old 08-02-2013, 07:52 AM
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How heartbreaking for your child. Imagine spending your childhood knowing that your parent would rather drop you at daycare than spend time with you. Heartbreaking.
Exactly this.

I sometimes have to explain to a sad child that mommy/daddy HAVE to work. I explain to the child that mommy/daddy love them so much, that they work hard to get money so that they can have a home and food and toys to play with etc.

But children aren't idiots. They often know when their parent ISN'T going to work and they are just being dumped.

It doesn't matter how much the child likes daycare. The best daycare in the universe can't ever replace a parent spending time with their own child.

I have some clients that have been with me for a couple years now. They just recently bought a home nearby because they want to be near us. They are wonderful clients and we love them and they love us. BUT...they have agreed as parents...that whoever gets off work first, goes to get the kids straight away. They GET IT. Their kids are happy and safe here. But they NEED THEIR PARENTS more than anything. I wish more understood that.
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Old 08-02-2013, 08:17 AM
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I have a 4.5 year old DCG that is picking up on her parents not spending time with her. Her parents went on vacation for over a week and left her in my care. The same time all other DCKs went on vacation with their parents. I don't know how many times she asked me why the other children got to go with their parents and she didn't. I told her she had to ask her parents. Totally heartbreaking. These are the same parents that asked me to take her to see Santa for the first time instead of enjoying that memory themselves. I refused.
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Old 08-02-2013, 10:33 AM
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I have a 4.5 year old DCG that is picking up on her parents not spending time with her. Her parents went on vacation for over a week and left her in my care. The same time all other DCKs went on vacation with their parents. I don't know how many times she asked me why the other children got to go with their parents and she didn't. I told her she had to ask her parents. Totally heartbreaking. These are the same parents that asked me to take her to see Santa for the first time instead of enjoying that memory themselves. I refused.
Now that is sad! They couldn't even take her with on vacation,I suppose it depended on just where they went, if it was a place just for adult's like maybe Vegas or a child friendly place, but even so leaving her with the daycare provider and not a relative, but maybe your closer to her then a relative is. Asking someone else to take her to see Santa for the first time is heartbreaking also. That is a memory that they should have and cherish! Good for you to refuse doing it! There are too many parents out there today just like that,it is really sad to see.
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Old 08-02-2013, 10:57 AM
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How heartbreaking for your child. Imagine spending your childhood knowing that your parent would rather drop you at daycare than spend time with you. Heartbreaking.


This happens to my daycare kiddos soooo often. You have NO IDEA how heartbroken your child/ren are to KNOW that Mom/Dad are home and they don't want them there. I have a few kids of sahms, one of those starts crying every single time someone mentions that their Mom is at work. He's just 3. Yes, they KNOW.
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Old 08-02-2013, 11:00 AM
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I have a 4.5 year old DCG that is picking up on her parents not spending time with her. Her parents went on vacation for over a week and left her in my care. The same time all other DCKs went on vacation with their parents. I don't know how many times she asked me why the other children got to go with their parents and she didn't. I told her she had to ask her parents. Totally heartbreaking. These are the same parents that asked me to take her to see Santa for the first time instead of enjoying that memory themselves. I refused.
That breaks my heart.

But...what goes around comes around.

They'll one day be sitting in the old folks home their daughter puts them in...even if it's a good one.... and wondering why she never comes by..............
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Old 08-03-2013, 12:48 AM
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I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if daycare is opened he is going.
Your poor son

I don't give discounts for sick or vacation time either - and I also do not care for children unless the parent is at work/in school. I don't support parents who don't value spending as much time with their own kids as possible.
So you can disagree all you like, but the reality is there are daycares out there that only provide care to WORKING (not SLEEPING) parents.
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Old 08-03-2013, 04:43 AM
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I cannot imagine a parent not wanting to spend as many of their child's growing-up moments with them as possible. Kids grow so fast, pretty soon they don't need or want to be around their parents anymore. Why have kids if all you're going to do is ship them off to someone else during non-work hours?
That was the #1 reason I chose doing daycare when my first baby was born, 32 years ago. So what if you pay a few extra bucks to hold your spot? Isn't it worth it to know they're being well taken care of while you're at work???

Parents, please don't look at daycare as another place to save money. Usually it doesn't work out that way. I'm sure it's a consideration but please...providers work damn hard to make sure your child/ren feel safe, loved, stay healthy and learn. You just cannot put a price tag on a child the way you can on buying a car. Parent/provider relationships are a 2 way trust in raising children. It needs to work well or something will be thrown off kilter and I sure hope it's not the child's self-esteem, love and confidence issues. They need to feel completely loved and secure with their parents because who else will always be by their side through-out the rest of their life?

They will carry these feelings and issues with them their entire lives, it will be part of what kind of person they become, how they treat their spouses and their own children. Kids are NOT dumb, they pick up all those cues, they watch, they see and they just know.

With all that said, I do care for the kids, even when parents want to go back home and sleep. I don't say a word, just keep my mouth shut. But I find it soooo sad and thank God I had the opportunity to stay home with mine.

If you create those types of feelings now within your child, it's terribly difficult to gain back the love and trust you'll want later down the road.
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  #50  
Old 08-03-2013, 04:27 PM
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I disagree...
I pay monthly for daycare. My sons set hours are 7:30 to 3pm. There is no stipulation that I have to be working. If I want to go home and sleep then I am paying for that and its my decision what I want to do with my alloted time. My daycare charges by the month..there is no discount for sick days/or vacation time so you bet if dayycare is opened he is going.
How sad. So your kid it'd only worth a few bucks, you rather hes at daycare to get your moneys "worth"rather than you spending time with him
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Old 08-04-2013, 12:26 PM
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I currently care for my neighbor's boys (3 & 5). So, old enough to know what is going on....Dcm recently gave notice, which I was heartbroken at first because I love the boys. But I've really come to realize that it's for the best because of things like this! She takes the day off and we will be playing outside. The boys used to say, "hey look, mommy is home, there is her car. What is she doing?" I would have to try to explain how mommy is probably getting a lot of stuff done and blah, blah, blah! Now they don't even say anything when they see her car. A few times they would even see her pulling into her drive as we were walking back from the park, "Hi, mommy!!" Breaks my heart. I feel like slapping her! I feel like this more and more with the lies she tells to spend the least amount of time with her kids as possible! Seriously upsetting.... And now she gave notice because she is moving across town. She acts so nonchalant about pulling them, it's maddening. Her: "Oh, I know the boys love it here but I just can't drive across town every day. They'll be fine, where ever we end up" Geez, I mean no appreciation whatsoever! And total disregard for their feelings.

Last edited by providerandmomof4; 08-04-2013 at 12:27 PM. Reason: Needed to add a sentence
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Old 08-04-2013, 02:01 PM
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I currently care for my neighbor's boys (3 & 5). So, old enough to know what is going on....Dcm recently gave notice, which I was heartbroken at first because I love the boys. But I've really come to realize that it's for the best because of things like this! She takes the day off and we will be playing outside. The boys used to say, "hey look, mommy is home, there is her car. What is she doing?" I would have to try to explain how mommy is probably getting a lot of stuff done and blah, blah, blah! Now they don't even say anything when they see her car. A few times they would even see her pulling into her drive as we were walking back from the park, "Hi, mommy!!" Breaks my heart. I feel like slapping her! I feel like this more and more with the lies she tells to spend the least amount of time with her kids as possible! Seriously upsetting.... And now she gave notice because she is moving across town. She acts so nonchalant about pulling them, it's maddening. Her: "Oh, I know the boys love it here but I just can't drive across town every day. They'll be fine, where ever we end up" Geez, I mean no appreciation whatsoever! And total disregard for their feelings.
How sad! Those poor children! It seems there are too many parents like this today! So sad!
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Old 08-05-2013, 12:59 PM
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This thread was so depressing.

Anyone else have the song "Cat's in the Cradle" running through their head at a few of the posts?

I wish some of the parents knew what they were doing, or missing, or that they even cared a second about how their kid feels while they use every second of care to get their money's worth and do whatever, sometimes arriving late to get them. The kid knows they are dumped and pick up on this fact very early in life. It is so heartbreaking on every level, and I feel sad for you as parents to not realize this, but even more for your kids who come to ME for comfort and understanding when you do this time and again. I comfort them, but I can never understand or explain it. I could never do this. I could never be so nonchalant about causing such damage to my kids, and yes it DOES cause damage to kids to realize their parents don't want them around. I wonder how you can be okay with that.

And I don't mean the parents that occasionally take a day here or there. I get that "me time" is needed every now and again, and sometimes that stress release makes a person a better parent. Everyone needs a few minutes, now and then. But I can tell the difference between an occasional hair appointment and "My hours are 730-3 and I don't get a discount, so if the daycare is open my kids will be there because I'm paying you", and so can your kids. How sad for them.
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Old 08-06-2013, 06:43 AM
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This thread was so depressing.

Anyone else have the song "Cat's in the Cradle" running through their head at a few of the posts?

I wish some of the parents knew what they were doing, or missing, or that they even cared a second about how their kid feels while they use every second of care to get their money's worth and do whatever, sometimes arriving late to get them. The kid knows they are dumped and pick up on this fact very early in life. It is so heartbreaking on every level, and I feel sad for you as parents to not realize this, but even more for your kids who come to ME for comfort and understanding when you do this time and again. I comfort them, but I can never understand or explain it. I could never do this. I could never be so nonchalant about causing such damage to my kids, and yes it DOES cause damage to kids to realize their parents don't want them around. I wonder how you can be okay with that.

And I don't mean the parents that occasionally take a day here or there. I get that "me time" is needed every now and again, and sometimes that stress release makes a person a better parent. Everyone needs a few minutes, now and then. But I can tell the difference between an occasional hair appointment and "My hours are 730-3 and I don't get a discount, so if the daycare is open my kids will be there because I'm paying you", and so can your kids. How sad for them.


It really does affect the kids. I did daycare for a little girl years ago from when she was 2 months old until she was 7 yrs old,she is now 25 yrs old with a family of her own. We have kept in touch throughout the years, been invited to her wedding and baby showers. She told me awhile ago that she considers me her Mom,she loves her own Mom, but said that I was the one that really made a difference in her life and felt that I really gave her the care and Love that she really didn't get from her Mom growing up. Her Mom is also the one that would take me out to lunch once a year at a really nice restaurant to "Thank me" for taking care of her daughter and she would say that she was so glad that I did daycare for her daughter because she, the Mom could not stand to take care of her for 24 hours a day! Now how awful is that, to hear a Mom say that she doesn't want to have to take care of her own daughter all day and glad someone else has her most of the day. AND they adopted her, so why adopt a child if your not willing to take care of her!!!!

I currently have one set of parents that the Mom has one day off a week and brings her child to me no matter what and I will read on her FB page that she says I am having a lazy day, doing nothing, still in my pj,s
and I have her child and she is crying"I want my Mommy". This is every week I have her child when she is home. "ME" time once in awhile is fine, but it is sad to read this on FB and knowing her child wants to be with her.

I started doing home daycare years ago so I could be home and raise my own children, who are in their 30's now with their own families. I have not regretted for one minute being able to be home spending time with my kids and would gladly do it all over again. In fact a few years ago both of my kids told me that they were so glad that I was home with them while they were growing up and appreciated everything that I did for them. That was so wonderful to hear!

So parents out there if I may give you a little advice,( I know it is none of my business, but just have to say something) please show your children that you love them and want to be with them, spend time with them, all they want is to be with you,snuggle with you, get a big hug from you and give you lots of hugs!
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