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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Lying Parents
BentleysBands 04:36 AM 10-11-2010
if u catch a parent in a lie do u call them out on it? or suck it up and move on?
long story short: had a new family start last month w/2 kids...kids are great/parents r great! she was honest and said she wasnt sure in 2months if they could keep paying my rate for 2 and letting me know. they would surely try. so i offered her a diff. rate if she could bring snacks/juice weekly and instead of me supplying diapers, she would bring her sons. i thought it was reasonable and so did she. she was soo happy! just to this past weekend, i had a parents night out. her kids came. her and DH get tattooes!!! AND she redecorate her DD's room in princesses...so my question: if they r so hard up and wasnt going to be able to pay daycare how can she go do all this??? we have become 'friends' and i really enjoy her but i feel somewhat hurt !! i try to help ppl not take their $. i dont need it as a sole means of living so i can play around like this. i do daycare because its all i have ever known, LOVE it most days and it is extra income for my 4 kids....so what would u do? call her out or suck it up ? i just dont want my feelings to get built up and later on start holding a grudge...
long story short: had a new family start last month w/2 kids...kids are great/parents r great! she was honest and said she wasnt sure in 2months if they could keep paying my rate for 2 and letting me know. they would surely try. so i offered her a diff. rate if she could bring snacks/juice weekly and instead of me supplying diapers, she would bring her sons. i thought it was reasonable and so did she. she was soo happy! just to this past weekend, i had a parents night out. her kids came. her and DH get tattooes!!! AND she redecorate her DD's room in princesses...so my question: if they r so hard up and wasnt going to be able to pay daycare how can she go do all this??? we have become 'friends' and i really enjoy her but i feel somewhat hurt !! i try to help ppl not take their $. i dont need it as a sole means of living so i can play around like this. i do daycare because its all i have ever known, LOVE it most days and it is extra income for my 4 kids....so what would u do? call her out or suck it up ? i just dont want my feelings to get built up and later on start holding a grudge...
Former Teacher 04:55 AM 10-11-2010
Depending on what the "lie" was and who the parent was..yeah I would confront them. I have in fact haha. If it was a parent that I loved and respected then no.
You are kind of in between a rock and a hard place. Like you said you don't want to start hard feelings. If you REALLY need the money, and you feel comfortable enough, just tell her that you were going through your finances and you regret to tell her but her rate is going back to the original rate. If don't need the money, then I would just grin and bear it.
It's kind of like people on state aid. They don't have money to put food in mouth so they are on food stamps. They don't have money for medical care, they have medicaid. They pay next to NOTHING in high quality care. Blah blah blah. Yet, they drive around in nicer cars than most of us. They have the state of the art computer and electronics. At Christmas they make A FORTUNE (like in Wal-Mart's Angel Tree Program) because of all the good hearted people out there. This list goes on.....
Sorry to get off topic
You are kind of in between a rock and a hard place. Like you said you don't want to start hard feelings. If you REALLY need the money, and you feel comfortable enough, just tell her that you were going through your finances and you regret to tell her but her rate is going back to the original rate. If don't need the money, then I would just grin and bear it.
It's kind of like people on state aid. They don't have money to put food in mouth so they are on food stamps. They don't have money for medical care, they have medicaid. They pay next to NOTHING in high quality care. Blah blah blah. Yet, they drive around in nicer cars than most of us. They have the state of the art computer and electronics. At Christmas they make A FORTUNE (like in Wal-Mart's Angel Tree Program) because of all the good hearted people out there. This list goes on.....
Sorry to get off topic
MyAngels 06:03 AM 10-11-2010
I can see what you're saying, but they could have easily put all these "purchases" on credit cards, instead of paying with their regular income, or they could have been gifts that were given by family, etc. Unless you're privy to their financial situation, you may not know the whole story. I guess if it were me, I would not feel comfortable questioning something like this.
Former Teacher 06:07 AM 10-11-2010
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
I can see what you're saying, but they could have easily put all these "purchases" on credit cards, instead of paying with their regular income, or they could have been gifts that were given by family, etc. Unless you're privy to their financial situation, you may not know the whole story. I guess if it were me, I would not feel comfortable questioning something like this.
Even I didn't think of that I can see what you're saying, but they could have easily put all these "purchases" on credit cards, instead of paying with their regular income, or they could have been gifts that were given by family, etc. Unless you're privy to their financial situation, you may not know the whole story. I guess if it were me, I would not feel comfortable questioning something like this.
BentleysBands 06:09 AM 10-11-2010
sadly i do know their situation as she tells me 
[email protected] 09:27 AM 10-11-2010
well for me I have confronted them I had a mom about 12 yeras ago,.. got embarrasingly behind on payments, over 8 hundred dollars,...they would pay 2/3 of their bill every month because moms job was changed to less hours and they couldnt afford it,.. they still needed full time care tho.... So I would keep the kids (2),... waiting on them to get caught up,.. from their tax return (so they said,..) It got to be close to tax time and we were out shopping for a new freezer,... ran into them at the appliance store. Mom had been saving 100 per week all this time to buy dad a new tv. Now,..... that was way way way more than they were shorting me, they were about to shell out 2200 bucks on a tv,... If they had 2200 in cash,.. why did they need a break on daycare??? I confronted them right there in the store,... they were embarrassed, paid me on the spot and were never a day late again.
BentleysBands 09:30 AM 10-11-2010
haha , funny!!
sadly this is the same parent who called me earlier and asked to pay me at the end of the month, see response as to what happened. i got my backbone from you guys
so they may not be returning....oh well, stinks too because she is great and so r the kids..perfect match which can be hard to find sometimes and now she may loose their spots ...
sadly this is the same parent who called me earlier and asked to pay me at the end of the month, see response as to what happened. i got my backbone from you guys
so they may not be returning....oh well, stinks too because she is great and so r the kids..perfect match which can be hard to find sometimes and now she may loose their spots ...
QualiTcare 11:26 AM 10-11-2010
if they both got tattoos and they have more than one already, it's possible that they have a friend or relative who is a tattoo artist and they didn't pay at all. i have a tattoo and i didn't pay for it. the princess room could've been paid for by grandparents, credit cards, or she could've had the stuff already and just not put it out until now. besides, your idea of decorating a room could be way different from hers. anyway, you either need to confront them or forget about it because you'll be thinking about it every time a kid is wearing new shoes or anytime a parent is drinking a latte from starbucks.
BentleysBands 12:57 PM 10-11-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
if they both got tattoos and they have more than one already, it's possible that they have a friend or relative who is a tattoo artist and they didn't pay at all. i have a tattoo and i didn't pay for it. the princess room could've been paid for by grandparents, credit cards, or she could've had the stuff already and just not put it out until now. besides, your idea of decorating a room could be way different from hers. anyway, you either need to confront them or forget about it because you'll be thinking about it every time a kid is wearing new shoes or anytime a parent is drinking a latte from starbucks.
no, its not the case here. but i see your point. however she is very open and told me how she has spent over the weekend. sad i wasnt top priority.if they both got tattoos and they have more than one already, it's possible that they have a friend or relative who is a tattoo artist and they didn't pay at all. i have a tattoo and i didn't pay for it. the princess room could've been paid for by grandparents, credit cards, or she could've had the stuff already and just not put it out until now. besides, your idea of decorating a room could be way different from hers. anyway, you either need to confront them or forget about it because you'll be thinking about it every time a kid is wearing new shoes or anytime a parent is drinking a latte from starbucks.
marniewon 03:33 PM 10-11-2010
Maybe she figured your deal was working out well for both of you so she thought she could spend any extra she had on other things. Was this supposed to be a temporary arrangement? Or more permanent? If it's really bothering you, you should say something. However, if she's under the impression that your arrangement is helping both of you and is permanent, not just until she gets on her feet, then she'll probably be angry for you questioning how she spends her money. Bartering is still used, and that could very well be what she thought she was doing.