I have had parents ask to interview during childcare hours and I always say no and have had some still enroll after that. I do not allow strangers around the kids, period and have had some parents come to my daycare for that specific reason. I have occasionally allowed a playdate where a parent comes by for one hour and we all play with the kids together. Free play only during a time I choose. However, it is very rare that I offer that. I have had parents ask to observe and I simply am not up for it and say no and yes, they do still enroll. that said, I have a small group so its not like I have a huge enrollment to keep full. Its not too hard for me to keep my 4 spots full.

I always feel out the parents request for observation. If I am getting the micromanaging, insecure vibe, I say no because I feel that the observation will be more about what I am doing wrong and what they want changed. If it seems like a nice family that just needs that extra help to feel comfortable then yes, I occasionally will do it. I am usually right on feeling this out.

If the parents need prolonged observations, lots of time at pick ups and drop offs, lots and lots of questions and constant post-interviewing, then they are not the right fit for me. It is too exhausting to constantly be trying to prove myself. Either you like it here or you don't and I am okay with either. I dont go out of my way to convince a family to use my services.

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Like some others, I don't 'do' observations, and most families have not asked me to have one. When a family insisted upon an observation, I agreed with a friendly smile and told them that Tuesday at 9am was the best time. I knew I would only have my OWN children at that time, and the 1 child I might have had I simply asked the parent (who is always very flexible) to bring her child in an hour later. If I had to, I could have asked my husband to take the kids to the library for about an hour.

When the family arrived and saw only my 2 kids, I simply said that the 1 other child who comes at that time was not able to make it. Also, my own kids were used to outside time at 9am, so they were so busy playing with outside toys that they did not often interrupt me talking to the family. It worked out alright. I HAVE had someone come to 'chat' with me (I knew it was to observe in my gut, but I went along with it) once when there were several kids. It was a disaster. The parent would not respect my request that I keep at least 1 eye on the kids, nor would they respect that the kids kept wanting my attention. I vowed after that to never have an observation with more than just my own kids (unless I felt VERY confident 1 or 2 of my kids would behave and be distracted from the adults long enough to have a conversation).

I am happy to tell people that I don't like having my attention distracted from the kids when they are in my care. I assume that they would APPRECIATE that. I also do a trial period, so they can 'observe' me in the drop off and pick up time

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Zoe, I am sorry your son went thru this! Did your provider have anything to say about this? i am assuming you withdrew immediately.

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I went ahead and approved this...but I want to say that this is *barely* on topic and is completely uncalled for. You know the saying: If you don't have anything nice to say...

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I don't think your grief is funny. It will never be funny. I can't imagine what you went through and am sending you a big hug. You will never be the same- but I admire you for moving on and living for the people around you that still need you and the people that you touch in your walk of life.

Out of experience- The only thing that heals a loss is time, and that never totally closes up the wound. It's like a bruise if you touch it just right it still hurts.[/quote]

Cat has mentioned this before and I believe that the grief she's referring to is grief over the stupid regulations being put forth in her state and the dumb ways in which she has to change her program in order to be in compliance.

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SILVER....please excuse me, as I saw that you "barely" approved unregistereds post, but I am going to respond. Feel free to remove my post if you feel the need

LOL! Sure. Perhaps you should go through my 1900+ posts so you know that that is simply not true. BUT, I will say, I am not going to agree when I simply do not agree.

Anyways....the beginning of this thread, my first post, was a simple polite disagreement and advice to a member who ASKED for advice and then I was attacked. Honestly though, I don't care if others attack me.....I will continue to speak my beliefs and share my experience....and use the attacks as entertainment, because indeed, that is what they are to me


And to that, anyone can say whatever they want, I have plans for a beautiful day and will carry on regardless of what others think of me

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Ummm...Who do you think you are?!

If you so conveniently remember, you would know that I was not the one to terminate. They gave notice and I was happy about it.

Sorry if my happiness was "inappropriate" in your eyes.

If you were in my shoes and you knew the entire story, I'm sure your views would be different.

This post has nothing to do with the thread at hand. You don't know me, you don't know my system, you haven't been in my home or inspected me so you don't have ANY room to talk ANYTHING about me.

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I withdrew immediately and found a neighbor to watch my kids while I looked for other care. I didn't say anything at pick-up I was just so in shock. I called my DH immediately to calm myself down until I got home. The provider said (over the phone once I got home) that she just wanted to have him ready for me and she was rushing and he wouldn't sit still. She was hysterical about it, and so was I. I told her there was really no excuse for what she did. It was a very emotional conversation and she asked for forgiveness, something I wasn't able to do at the time. I had DH go collect our children's things that evening. That was it.

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My apologies. I did not see you had responded and felt bad about what I posted and removed it prior to seeing this. Really, I am sorry.

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Thank you, Silver.... I just got notification that I can't use my pretty pillows that I made for all my DCK's (not infants) anymore, either. No pillows until 3 years old. (My friend in town got inspected during naptime yesterday and was told to get rid of hers, too)

I am going to be a sterile hospital environment in a couple years at this rate.

Ugh, again, I am sure it has to do with someone not supervising and something bad happening somewhere.....

The kids LOVE their pillows..... I guess I will send them home with them.

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Wow Cat....they are really getting carried away. I don't think I could continue under the conditions they are creating!!!

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I understand the no playing sidewalk chalk in the driveway (kids cannot be outside of 100% fenced area at all), no climbers in the playroom, and breastmilk is to be kept in a seperate fridge...(well, sortof)... but the special pillows is one of the little things that make the kids feel at home.

They pick out their own fabric... They get them once they transition from a crib to a mat, like a trophy. It means something to them.

I will probably find a way to loophole it... maybe by making them into teddy bears. Stuffed animals are allowed, after all.

Just frustrating....

Sorry for off topic, OP.

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just add a head so it is sort of a pillow pet......would that be okay? man, some of the licensing rules I hear about are really tough. I always move at least one small climber into our playroom during the winter. the kids need ways to expel energy constructively!

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Awwww....that's sad for the kiddos, Cat.

Yeah, try making them into pillow pets like Cheerful said.....if they allow stuffed animals, then that should be fine.

I don't get the no climbers in the playroom, though. I mean, if you have adequate fall zone and cushioning then what's the difference between inside and outside??

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I don't know. The lady from CCR&R that I spoke with did not know. It was just a check box on her monitoring form. She needs her paycheck, too.

I am putting in a formal request at the State level explaining that it keeps me from meeting their physical development needs (large muscle groups) during inclement weather.

My hope is that this constant pressure has more to do with a sub-contractor situation than with the State itself. Fingers crossed for me.

I may be a Walmart greeter soon.


Edited to add: I just noticed that those pillow pets are now being marketed to daycare providers WITH the Kindermat sheets (the links are given to us by CCR&R on the website). Ugh..... I guess I SHOULD have seen the pillow one coming....

They are also marketing the stand alone, heated water, handwashing sinks. I guess I need to start saving for one of those, too, now.... Where's the motrin...

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I absolutely agree that most providers are warm, loving and caring. I NEVER said ALL in anything I posted. I said, there are so many providers..... I think there happens to be several who have gone beyond venting and looking for support to expressing outright unhappiness with the job.

I didn't roll you all into one nutshell and assume you should or shouldn't be anything. There are many providers on this forum who are obviously wonderfully caring and happy providers.

But after reading for a while, you can easily pick up on the fact that it is painfully obvious that there are a few who really do not seem to want to be doing this job. THOSE are the few I was referring to. THOSE are the few I am saddened by. The providers who seem to have an air of superiority and post in a condescending manner in regard to 'all parents'.

Just as providers are all different and do things in our own styles, so do parents. Why is it we, as providers, so quickly defend our right to be different and do "what works for you" but do not give the same privilege to parents?

FWIW~ I am a provider too. I have also been in this business for many many many years and have worked in many different capacities in the field.

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I have come to the conclusion that day care rules are not always changed in the best interests of the KIDS. It's all about somebody at the state needing job security...so rules must be changed willy nilly.

We re-licensed recently. We now have to have the health department come out and inspect the kitchen instead of licensing.

I was all for this as I hoped it would help make sure kitchens are clean and healthy. (I've seen some day care ones that I would NEVER eat out of)

I expected an inviromental health, restaurant type inspection.

Noooooooo. All the "inspection" is......is a mere 9 questions.

"Does the kitchen appear clean?"
"Is the fridge in working order"
"Hand soap available"

...to mention a few. We have to pay $60 for this. It takes less than a minute.

There is NOTHING on the list that my licensor couldn't have asked or looked at.

It's just the state money grubbing $60 from some of the worst paid workers there are.

Maddening. And nobody can give me an answer that amounts to a hill of beans.

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Nice post. Thank you.

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I think it's more for the parent to see you not refuse ya know? Like you have nothing to hide. At least that's how I see it. If I was a parent in his shoes I would want the same thing. If a provider refused it would send redflags for me personally....unless she was able to offer me a reasonable explanation like children's safety or some of the things mentioned here.


Anyway I'm glad it's over!! PHEW

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I have never had a request for the parent to come back and observe. I have nothing to hide but it would make me uncomfortable. I have had a few parents ask specifically to come during buisness hours so they can see (then I just pick a day that I have the least kids so its not mahem.) If its an infant I dont see why they need to see you in action. What are they going to do sit and stare at you? I would say no. Visitors always wind my group up. I would just explain that to them. I fyou end up having them come set a definate time. 30 max IMO. Good luck!

Debbie

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I find your focus is quick to pick up on the negative more then the positive in a condescending manner towards other providers. You have a better then everyone else attitude. I just see it as all of us providers should come together to support our craft, and we all have bad days, bad moments, bad situations and need help, advice etc... I do try to live by- if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. I apologize for my behavior but you did hit a nerve, continue to hit nerves and I am not the only one on this forum that feels this way. I welcome difference of opinions, its how I learn- but not the way you come across (maybe you don't mean the way you come across) Enough said by me.

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so you think we should be supportive, unconditionally? No way. Some providers do not warrant support, they warrant a swift kick in the rear as a wake up call. I agree we all have our off days and need someone to lean on, but when a provider REGULARLY and CONTINUOUSLY VENTS then it is clear that they either need to take a nice long break from the business or move on to something new.

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How is my focus quick to pick up on the negative? In what way was I condescending? ...and how am I displaying a "better than everyone else attitude"?

Nothing I said was directed at any one particular member and I said nothing about anyone else, I stated how "I" felt I" as in "I am saddened...etc"

I apologize if I hit a nerve for you but how do you figure that I continue hitting nerves of others and that alot of forum members feel the same way???? I have been reading this forum for a long time but have never posted prior to right after Thanksgiving so how could I possibly be hitting nerves of other members????

...and no, I didn't mean anything rudely or disrespectfully in ANY of my posts, just sharing an opinon that I have about how I feel. NOTHING was directed at anyone or as a dig to anyone in particular so.....

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another problem I ran into when parents want to observe is that their children are the ones that missbehave. I have and interview that both parents came with their 1yr old child. All the kids where playing when their child decided to take a toy away from my dck (I'm pretty protective with the dck's because they are like my own) so the child starts to cry and hit thier son. Well the parents didn't like it because it was obvious that the child did what he wanted and when he wanted. My dck said sorry but the parents were so mad. They never signed, this is another reason I don't do observations either

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I had a experience with that as well but, it was with ME not signing them and not the other way around.
It just wasn't a good fit right off the bat. Mom and dad showed up with all their children which is great and we discussed policy and they asked me questions..husband in the back ground I am ashually having to keep walking over to their little son (starting care)and removing him from off the gate...bigger 2 yr old who shld not be climbing on gate. Mom and dad don't seem to be able to help in this and the other boys just mill around the house...which is fine. But youngest is clearly upset. Mom leaves for work dad is just standing there and does not know what to do or say. I ask him if he has any questions and he says no but seems to be lost. In all this I am trying to talk to dad but dcb is having a melt down by that time and now kicking my gate and trying to climb over it and shacking it. I thought he was going to break it. Finally I tell dcd that well if you have any more questions to ask me.... Little guy seems like he'd like to go home now. (In all this I could not get him to play with any child nor did any of the dck want to come near him. It was more of a interview but it was really distracting to try and talk and try to engage the child. In the end I told him that I do have another interview lined up so I wld contact them and let them know. They ended calling back but I decided to take the other family. That family had a sweet little girl and I had only boys so was excited to enroll a little girl for my daughter.

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Im just so thankful I didnt have to go through the process of interviewing a provider! Cant say how I would be!

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They went with me!!!! The observation might have helped but I don't know if I'd do that again.

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It's such a learning process and you had to try it to see if it worked for you. I wouldn't want that for myself and for many of the reasons stated in this thread. Congrats! You got the kiddo- now the fun begins.

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This general attitude is why I think a lot of the women on here like to butt heads with you Crystal. This is not the first time I have seen you say something like this. Why do you even come on this board if you think we're all just a bunch of sneaky, neglectful, disinterested providers? Why would you want to be a part of that? I mean after all, you've been doing this for 15 years so wonderfully..........

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I'm glad they chose you.

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http://youtu.be/WqP1pzzpfdk

Crystal is making radio statements. Last sentence sums it up.

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oh good grief, here we go again.

Go back and RE-READ what I posted. I made it perfectly clear that the posts I was referring to were not recent. Keep in mind, I have been on this forum for two years.....I even stated in a PP that many of those posts were two years ago.

Please, do not put words in my mouth. I never said I "think we're all just a bunch of sneaky, neglectful, disinterested providers?" In fact I said that there are several providers here whom I admire and respect. Those that vent and complain 99% of the time, not so much, but I wouldn't with people IRL either.

But, I did say this, so you know WHY I made the other comment that you quoted:

It has to do with posts I have personally read, where children have been called names, where providers have admitted to allowing children cry for hours at a time, where providers have admittedly "thrown" a child onto their nap mat or MADE them lay there for HOURS, where providers have admitted that they don't like certain kids, where providers have done nothing but bitch and moan in every single post they made about the children AND the parents. I have seen parents come here to ask a question and be berated and attacked by members. I have seen providers admit to trying to place blame on another child in care when an infant in care was SERIUOSLY injured, I have seen providers admit to withholding food...or technically withholding snack while trying to "make" the child eat an old, disgusting meal from earlier in the day as punishment for not eating lunch, I have seen providers admit that they make young children sit in their own feces or urine when they have potty accidents OR make the child clean up the feces themselves....ALL of it on THIS forum...... Frankly, it is disgusting. If you did some digging I assure you, you could find what I speak about....if that's not enough to prove my point, then, well, so be it.


So, FYI, and as I said before, I come here for 1. entertainment 2. a break from reality 3. to help when I can and 4. to get an idea of the "face" of child care in our country today (which very often doesn't appear to be very becoming). However, if you are weary of reading my posts, then just skip them, or put me on ignore

Have a FABULOUS weekend

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YAY!!! Hope the dcf is a perfect fit for you!!!

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Congratulations!

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Crystal...your giving me some entertainment of sorts today...sorry that it's on your expense. But, I don't have ANY drama in my life so this is the closest besides TMZ or Perez that I'll go to get it...

Besides...you did mention that this is entertainment for you when you get called out on something no matter if it was taken out of context.....

I really am just teasing you

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LOL! Thanks for that!

I know, this is the only place I get drama too!

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Fantastic news! I'm glad the family went with you.

OT - I have to agree with Crystal. There are a few people here that I would never allow to watch my child. They probably wouldn't let me watch their's either. I try to be more about the kids' and families' needs than the business aspect. Some of the providers here are too rigid for me, all about protecting their business at all costs. I'm more lax and easy going.

Crystal and I don't agree on every issue, but we don't attack each other, either.

Bottom line is, you have to do what works for you.

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Thanks Sharlan

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I think I'm allergic...seriously

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I wish I could be more about the families needs and I do try to be as much as possible. But I think there is a big difference in some of the providers circumstances here and they have to run their business according to their situation.

Some have husbands with good jobs. Health benefits, paid vacations, retirement packages etc. They do day care to pass the time and bring in a little extra to help pay for luxuries. They want companionship for their own toddlers etc. They can afford to be more generous with their time and money and the needs of the dcf's.

Then there are those who are single parents or the ones who rely on their day care income as the only source of money they have or a supplement they can't live without. Those providers have to look out for their OWN family first. I learned the hard way that being "nice" to my families all the time, often put MY family in harm's way. I feel sorry for some of my dcf's situations and I help IF I can. But there are times I have no choice but to be tough. This is how I support our family. It is our only source of income. I protect that income like my life depends on it...because it does.

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Meeko....this is our families only source of income as well. My husband works with me full-time.

Maybe I am missing your point, as I don't see how that has anything to do with observations? My income goes UP when I allow observations, because I have never had a family not sign with me after observing.

Please clarify, I'd like to make sure I understand what you are saying.

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Sharlan said: “I try to be more about the kids' and families' needs than the business aspect. Some of the providers here are too rigid for me, all about protecting their business at all costs. I'm more lax and easy going.”

Meeko then replied: “I wish I could be more about the families needs and I do try to be as much as possible. But I think there is a big difference in some of the providers circumstances here and they have to run their business according to their situation.”

I’m not sure what you’re missing here? I don’t believe her comments had anything do with observations. She was just responding to what Sharlan said.

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I didn't ask you.

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Well EXCUSE me. I was just trying to help you understand why Meeko said that. Although, I'm not sure why you couldn't figure it out on your own by simply reading what Sharlan had said. I think you are just looking for an argument. Everywhere you go you stir up trouble. Guess you forgot to take your happy pill today.

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No...but she answered the same as I would. Thanks Mandy Jane

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You're welcome Meeko! Crystal just wants an argument. It was very obvious why you said what you did. And I agree with everything you said too. I am also one who has to think about my family's income before accommodating any special requests from parents. My family's well-being is #1 on my priority list, which makes me have to be very strict when it comes to operating my daycare.

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actually, I don't want an argument, I wanted clarification, As I said Please clarify, I'd like to make sure I understand what you are saying

Thanks meeko. I thought you were referring to a parent observing as the issue.

kids are up now and I am going to feed the baby, but I'd love to discuss your post with you more, as I too depend on this as my only source of income. I actually think it would be a great separate thread discussion.

I'll be back....to DISCUSS not ARGUE

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Very late to this but whatever...

I offer every single time for the parents to do an observation AND an interview after hours. They never take me up on the offer....maybe once.

I think it's less about seeing the activities of the day and more about using your intuition as a mama(parent) to see how the care provider is with the babies.

I welcome observations. I want parents to see what I do all day!! If the kids are a bit out of sorts because of a visitor, that's to be expected, so what? A little extra work for me for a little while.

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I am a little scared to post as I feel WWIII may break out on this thread! However, I have to say that with the exception of some of the families that come to me via word of mouth, all of my families have brought their child/children over to visit at least once during program hours. This has the dual purpose of allowing the parents see the program in motion and allowing the child to get comfortable with the other children, the environment, and me while still feeling safe. I only schedule these visits during activity times so that our daily routine isn't interrupted. I find that this really cuts down on the separation anxiety the children may feel when they start.

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I just wanted to say that reading that gave me a good laugh! Today has been one HECK of a crazy day for sure!

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You mean you'll be back to be condescending and self-righteous. No thanks. I don't need to explain myself to you Crystal. I've been doing this almost twice as long as you and I'm happy and successful. Let's just leave it at that.

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