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Parents and Guardians Forum>Horrible Daycare Director - What Can I Do?
Unregistered 04:53 AM 05-07-2009
I work at a church-run daycare, and the executive director is absolutely HORRIBLE to the children in her "care." I was there for about 10 minutes on my first day, and was utterly appalled by they way she talked to the kids. One little boy peed his pants (his parents only started potty training him the week before) and she chewed him out in front of all the other children and adults, refused to let him go outside for playtime, and told him he was going to wear his wet pull-up for the rest of the day. All the children are scared to death of her, but apparently none of them tell their parents anything when they go home. The other employees are intimidated by her, and they don't speak up about the things she's doing.

There are also privacy and sanitary issues I could go into, but right now my main concern is these poor kids. They're absolutely terrified of this woman. One little boy went absolutely hysterical this week because he wet his pants, and was afraid this woman would find out. She's just a very unkind, intolerant person when it comes to these kids, and has neither the patience nor the disposition to be working with small children. I considered talking to her husband (he's the church's pastor), but I was informed that he'd only side with her.

What can I do? I've been waiting for the opportunity to pull one of the parents aside and let them know what's going on. I'm not trying to start problems within the daycare, but if it were my child, I would absolutely want to know that this woman was terrorizing and bullying her on a daily basis.

Is there somewhere I can report this? I'm not looking to get fired, as I feel like I need to be there to protect these kids. Any help is greatly appreciated.


Thank you!
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David 10:50 AM 05-07-2009
Wow, I feel for you and the kids. I only wish my parents had pulled me out of the church school my brother and I went to. I am not saying that all church-based schools are bad. It is just they get away will so much because of the power of the church. They expect us to be understanding and forgiving of them but they abused us. It scarred us in ways that lasted a lifetime. Our parents told us later in our teens that if they had known what was going on they would have pulled us out of there sooner.

You are in a tough place because this woman has the support of the very person that is in charge of the wellbeing of the children. Most likely this church is state exempt and does not need a license but that does not mean they can do as they please. I would contact your states licensing agency and make them aware of the intolerable situation at your school. Take it from me, it is hell on the children. This is a time when they should be enjoying their childhood and not fearing the learning process. You can find you state's contact nunbers here. https://www.daycare.com/states.html
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Former Teacher 01:13 PM 05-07-2009
When a situation comes up and you feel the need to report to your licensing as you clearly MUST do in this situation, you just need to be careful. Report it anonymously. Do not give any personal information that will identify you to the licensing rep because, trust me, your center WILL find out it is you that reported.
Don't get me wrong. You must report this. You are those children's voices right now. Just be careful how you do it!
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Unregistered 07:42 AM 05-11-2009
I'm sorry, but I would not be worried about my own job or welfare in this situation. Had I witnessed the incident with the kid that peed his pants, I would have spoken up right then and there and followed up by reporting to someone and if that didn't work, I would go to the media.

Sorry, but if you don't do something immediately, you are every bit as guilty as she is. Imagine if that happened to your kid.

What exactly are you afraid of? Surely you don't want to keep working there.
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seashell 05:27 AM 05-13-2009
I would bring your concerns to the pastor of the church. Explain your position and tell him / her that you don't want to cause the church grief by reporting this to licensing / dcf, but you will if the situation can not be addressed. At the very least, the pastor will investigate and the director will tone down her behavior. At best? The director is fired. You still have a job and you have done a good thing.

I wouldn't worry about keeping my job there. Honestly, she will get caught at some point and do you really want to be apart of that? If you see this and don't report it, you are just as responsible. In Ct, child care providers are mandatory reporters. If you don't report abuse / neglect, you can be prosicuted as well.
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lilbiddapopcorn 10:53 PM 05-19-2009
How horrible for these children! But if the director is the wife of the pastor, you're probably right in your assumption that nothing will be investigated by going to him. And if you speak up to him or her, what's probably going to happen is you're gonna get fired, and then if you report it after that, what are they gonna say when state gets there? "She's only saying these things because we let her go." So make the call, report the abuse, do it anonymously if you want to, and make sure to keep following up until something is done. Your oblilgation is to these children. Until something happens, I would stay like you are and act as a shield for them. If the parents don't know and the pastor and director are acting together, the children have no one looking out for them but the staff that stays with them. And after you report it I would talk to the parents as well, so they know in case nothing comes of reporting it right away. What I wouldn't do is talk to the parents before you report it because then they're going to go straight to the director and say "well so and so said...and I want to know if it's true" and then they're going to get a heads up that you're reporting them. If the other staff know this too, you should all be making reports. Yesterday. Until these kids are safe.
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mac60 04:00 PM 05-20-2009
What if you wrote a letter.....appearing to be one of the parents, and say that you were there on different ccassions and witnessed this type of behavior from the woman. Send it to the church in care of the pastor.

Or, send it directly to the administrator, and let her know as a parent you have witnessed these kinds of things, and you are giving her the opportunity to change, and if she doesn't, she will be reported. Just sign it "A parent". She doesn't need to know who sent it, she just needs to know that she has been caught in these behaviors and she better change or else. Yes, you may be telling a little white lie letting her believe it is a parent writing, but saves you from having to confront her and saves your job should she get mad for someone saying something. Sometimes doing things discreetly is the best way, being nonconfrontational.
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Unregistered 11:03 AM 03-23-2011
Wow. Seems like many of the horror stories come from church day cares. NO facility should be exempt from inspections/licensing. Church day cares are a RACKET to make money. And they call themselves christians? They should be banned. Oh and if you're tempted to enroll in one because they are cheaper than 'secular' facilities, well, you get what you pay for. Mean people (especially those posing as god-fearing christians) suck.
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missnikki 01:53 PM 03-23-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow. Seems like many of the horror stories come from church day cares. NO facility should be exempt from inspections/licensing. Church day cares are a RACKET to make money. And they call themselves christians? They should be banned. Oh and if you're tempted to enroll in one because they are cheaper than 'secular' facilities, well, you get what you pay for. Mean people (especially those posing as god-fearing christians) suck.
You are very insightful and wise. I, on the other hand, am very sarcastic and honest.

Did you forget to renew your prescription?
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Unregistered 02:04 PM 03-23-2011
Model good care in front of her, correct her in front of the children if you must, use your cell to record her dialog ( in your pocket) and talk to every parent about what happened at the end of the day. Join a local group and also talk to your training staff about how to handle the situation. Look for another job, and keep your cool.

You may lose this job.

She may keep hers.

The children deserve better and so do you, but she may not know how to handle situations another way, may have been treated that way herself, and may have a pretty loyal group of families who will have a difficult time moving.

Make her presence unnecessary by handling situations well without her ( I've got it, don't worry, blah, blah, blah)

Is the church daycare unregulated?

You need some advocates and a plan to improve things. The pastor knows his wife pretty well.
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Unregistered 02:23 PM 03-23-2011
Love it! There's a similar facility in the town that I live. DHS has frequented them on numerous occasions and have gone as far as shutting them down until they bring everything up to par. It's sad the conditions these church's are allowed to run in. And the bible thumping Christians behind it aren't anything more than money hungry. Not to discredit religion but it seriously makes me wonder why anyone would "follow" when the "leaders" are usually the most dishonest people of the bunch.

I'd be making an anonymous phone call to DHS, DCPS and report your concerns. They are legit concerns and deserve to be looked into. No child should be verbally abused or harassed. Especially when it comes to potty training! SAD!
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Unregistered 03:56 PM 03-23-2011
Its sad that some people choose to attack the messenger than address the issue at hand. Why would anyone defend a crappy day care by being "sarcastic and honest"? I guess they can't stand hearing the opinion that 'christians' frequently portray themselves as holier-than-thou and conduct their business accordingly. That "forget your prescription?" comment is a good example. I bet the poster is a good christian.

I'm not saying ALL church day cares are bad, but THIS crappy one is a glaring example if hypocrisy. "Religious exemption" from oversight is just plain wrong. Period. The original poster pointed out the facility was run by a church, she was wise enough to see through their charade.
REPORT the facility! Don't trust them to do the right thing just because they claim to be 'christian'. Truth hurts.
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missnikki 04:31 PM 03-23-2011
Why would anyone defend a crappy day care by being "sarcastic and honest"? I guess they can't stand hearing the opinion that 'christians' frequently portray themselves as holier-than-thou and conduct their business accordingly.
Why would anyone make such generalizations about how an entire group of people that may/may not believe identically to them wouldn't possibly operate a daycare properly? Before you start throwing stones, consider the Holier than Thou complaint you just had... And I never defended anyone. Re-read.

That "forget your prescription?" comment is a good example. I bet the poster is a good christian.
Again, tell me- What does one have to do with the other? To me you sound like either an entitled teenager who has never been told "no", or a judgemental ignoramus with no idea how to streamline a thought to present an argument. Not going to guess which.

I'm not saying ALL church day cares are bad, but THIS crappy one is a glaring example if hypocrisy.
I cannot tell which comments are yours since you haven't bothered to identify yourself, but I will humbly assume that this gem was yours: "Church day cares are a RACKET to make money. And they call themselves christians? They should be banned. Oh and if you're tempted to enroll in one because they are cheaper than 'secular' facilities, well, you get what you pay for. Mean people (especially those posing as god-fearing christians) suck. "
That's comedy gold, right there. It would be very sad if it were true. I equate that comment to something like "Ugly people are annoying to look at. And they call themselves humans? They should be banned. Oh and if you're tempted to speak to one because they are friendlier than 'beautiful' people, well, you get what you deserve. Ugly people (especially those posing as good-looking humans) suck. "

"Religious exemption" from oversight is just plain wrong. Period. The original poster pointed out the facility was run by a church, she was wise enough to see through their charade.
Again, running a daycare poorly does not make you a Christian. It makes you a horrible facility. Being a Christian does not make you a horrible Daycare provider. It makes you, well, that's another conversation.

REPORT the facility! Don't trust them to do the right thing just because they claim to be 'christian'. Truth hurts.
I agree with this entirely. I think you made a little breakthrough here: you figured out one has nothing to do with the other! Good on you.
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mickey2 04:54 PM 03-23-2011
This is child abuse!!!! The other employees are allowing her as well as you are, to let her go on doing this!!!!! By not saying anything at all she will continue to hurt innocent children! My God what would you do if this was YOUR child????? I swear I would rip her a new one ! If I EVER saw ANYONE abuse a child in any way so God help them and I do not care about what would happen to me! These are innocent children. Gifts from God!

A child should never be afraid of someone who is supposed to be nurturing and caring for them! My heart hurts thinking of this!

You were informed that the pastor would side with her so that means that you were talking with someone else?? So you and this person are allowing this to go on!

Maybe you should talk to the RIGHT people about this.

You are not looking to get fired? You feel that you need to be protecting these kids? If you are looking to protect these children then speak up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you should send a note to her!

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:5


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missnikki 05:14 PM 03-23-2011
Originally Posted by Children First:
This is child abuse!!!! The other employees are allowing her as well as you are, to let her go on doing this!!!!! By not saying anything at all she will continue to hurt innocent children! My God what would you do if this was YOUR child????? I swear I would rip her a new one ! If I EVER saw ANYONE abuse a child in any way so God help them and I do not care about what would happen to me! These are innocent children. Gifts from God!

A child should never be afraid of someone who is supposed to be nurturing and caring for them! My heart hurts thinking of this!

You were informed that the pastor would side with her so that means that you were talking with someone else?? So you and this person are allowing this to go on!

Maybe you should talk to the RIGHT people about this.

You are not looking to get fired? You feel that you need to be protecting these kids? If you are looking to protect these children then speak up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you should send a note to her!

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:5
Precisely this. Well put. I lost myself in the muddied waters above.
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Michelle 07:03 AM 03-24-2011
Originally Posted by Children First:
This is child abuse!!!! The other employees are allowing her as well as you are, to let her go on doing this!!!!! By not saying anything at all she will continue to hurt innocent children! My God what would you do if this was YOUR child????? I swear I would rip her a new one ! If I EVER saw ANYONE abuse a child in any way so God help them and I do not care about what would happen to me! These are innocent children. Gifts from God!

A child should never be afraid of someone who is supposed to be nurturing and caring for them! My heart hurts thinking of this!

You were informed that the pastor would side with her so that means that you were talking with someone else?? So you and this person are allowing this to go on!

Maybe you should talk to the RIGHT people about this.

You are not looking to get fired? You feel that you need to be protecting these kids? If you are looking to protect these children then speak up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you should send a note to her!

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:5

This!!!! exactly
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Michelle 07:04 AM 03-24-2011
Originally Posted by missnikki:
You are very insightful and wise. I, on the other hand, am very sarcastic and honest.

Did you forget to renew your prescription?

Reply
Mel 05:37 PM 04-15-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I work at a church-run daycare, and the executive director is absolutely HORRIBLE to the children in her "care." I was there for about 10 minutes on my first day, and was utterly appalled by they way she talked to the kids. One little boy peed his pants (his parents only started potty training him the week before) and she chewed him out in front of all the other children and adults, refused to let him go outside for playtime, and told him he was going to wear his wet pull-up for the rest of the day. All the children are scared to death of her, but apparently none of them tell their parents anything when they go home. The other employees are intimidated by her, and they don't speak up about the things she's doing.

There are also privacy and sanitary issues I could go into, but right now my main concern is these poor kids. They're absolutely terrified of this woman. One little boy went absolutely hysterical this week because he wet his pants, and was afraid this woman would find out. She's just a very unkind, intolerant person when it comes to these kids, and has neither the patience nor the disposition to be working with small children. I considered talking to her husband (he's the church's pastor), but I was informed that he'd only side with her.

What can I do? I've been waiting for the opportunity to pull one of the parents aside and let them know what's going on. I'm not trying to start problems within the daycare, but if it were my child, I would absolutely want to know that this woman was terrorizing and bullying her on a daily basis.

Is there somewhere I can report this? I'm not looking to get fired, as I feel like I need to be there to protect these kids. Any help is greatly appreciated.


Thank you!
I work at a church DayCare. It's an awesome place. I have a hard time believing that even the employees are fearful of the director. Being an employee myself I can call the state or get in touch with district attorney to report abuse.
And if you know that this child is abused then you have a responsiblity to tell her parent or you are equally guilty.
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Candyland 09:34 PM 04-17-2011
The original post was dated 2 years ago!
What has happened in this case?
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Kaddidle Care 04:41 AM 04-18-2011
Everyone feels very strongly about this and I have a feeling that the OP was a young worker that wasn't aware of the responsibility of reporting the wrong doings. I doubt that director ever told her employees about this.

If a Church run Daycare has a Daycare Committee, that's where they need to go. If they don't get results then they move on to the Pastor/Parish Relations Committee. Again, no results, you move on to the District Superintendent, etc. It should be handled because if the word gets out it will look bad for the Church as well and that's the last thing they want to happen.

What a shame that this BULLY was allowed to continue working with young children for so long.
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Unregistered 01:46 PM 01-03-2013
There is a daycare called ****** learning
Center that is horrible.. The owner is
Rude to the parents, her employees, and
Pretty much everyone. She allows sick kids
To come and never requires doctor notes.
She never tells parents if their children have
Been exposed to anything such as flu, etc.
I have never know anyone to be able to run
A business and be so RUDE and disrespectful 8(
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MamaG 09:31 PM 01-03-2013
Call your local news station!! They'll set you up with a hidden camera and plaster it on the news. The monitoring of church child care won't change untill the public knows the truth and makes it change.

I would not remain silent when whitnessing abuse. I'd have spoken up firmly in the child defense. I would use my cell phone to record everything. Then bring that to the pastor with a promise to share it with the congregation if he doesn't fire her ass.

But that's just me.
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Unregistered 03:34 PM 01-11-2013
Feb 2012, I enrolled my baby when she was 8 months to Angel Happy day care in Hempstead, close the place I live which mentioned open 24/7. So, its really ideal for me when I was working at the restaurant that had irregular working hours. At the same time I put my baby at day care, also I applied for DSS. The day care owner encouraged me to do, so can help me paying the day care cost when I had to catch the payment for hospital bill.

The day care owner told me that she is not a money oriented like the rest of day care owner, so she gave me the private day care cost for 4 days at $120. Sometime I had to drop my baby more than 4 days, so as per her decision I always paid extra day for $30. Even couple times, I had to drop my baby from 10am till 09 pm such as on Mother day or other very busy day in the restaurant I paid $60/day. I also let her know in advanced that my working schedule will be irregular and she said that nothing to be worried about that, just let her know in advance for any changes and that's worked for me.

At first, everything seemed alright with all the friendly kids welcomed my baby and staffs are nice. Eventough most of time I encountered so many stained on my baby cloths from the feeding when I provided all the food, formula and bib as needed. Also many food stain and food left all over car seat like they fed my baby in the car seat instead of high chair.

While my baby at day care, I tried to follow the apllication progress to get the DSS aproval which were so very slow from February I put the application and kept calling the social service so many times which never answer the phone. The social service just kept sending me mail to get more and more paper works made me kept sending all the paperworks asked but finally end up I was denied for not providing proper paperworks ( hard to understand). While on the other hand, Keisha told me that according her call to DSS for checking up my application status she said the denial cause my join income with my husband exceed the limit. So I gave her the copy of denial letter from DSS to prove what I told her.

Since she found out I was denied from DSS, the way she treated me and my baby just getting awkward and sour. I felt the discrimination. I know there was nothing threat my baby's life, but I am as her mother, have the instinct and also feeling from the way she treat me especially my baby such as :

- From the day my baby at day care, I told them many times my baby's name, seem they did not have willingness to call by her name, but just keep calling her "chinese baby". I thought just the beginning but seemed for good. Besides we are not chinese at all. Suppose to be the owner had to introduce my baby's name to every body but I can tell she never did it. Only one only staff asked me her name 6 months after. The owner called my baby with that term as if I never gave my baby a name. Even to call me, she called "hello" or " excuse me" when I always called her name. Also sometime I am wonder if my baby could ever on her record, since I can not recall signing any paperwork with her (in this case I feel just a stupid mother and felt so guilty for my baby). Another thing, I never get any baby activities day hand out which was I always got from my baby's first day care.

- From the beginning, the day care owner was nice until I was denied from DSS I was treated so unfriendly.
Then when I called regarding my drop in or pick up time, she always answer my call but after that never until she answered my call again but with very unfriendly voice.
When I picked my baby, if she the one handed over my baby, never bothered to see my face while I said thank
you just receive a very cold welcome.
Many days I saw her and she always show sour faces and ignoring ( I just amazed how she did the business like this way, or just to me she act like this).
One day she even slam the door in front of me( as if I have no feeling at all).

- She said she is not a money oriented person, but one day I dropped my baby at 10am and had to pick up at 11am cause my sudden job schedule change, so I dropped my baby again at 04pm and picked up at 10pm, on the way carrying my baby in car seat, one of her female teen family ran after me and saying that I had to pay more for extra hour? What!! She said not a money minded. I was so astonished by hearing that but it's okey for 1 hour extra I had to pay the whole day but my concern was why she was not the one telling me cause I saw she was sitting close to door where I always waiting for my baby. Since this happening, I told my husband to quit his first job, so he could pick our baby around 06pm-08pm (after I drop her off at 4pm cause I worked till 10-11pm) just avoid more sour faces. At this point, I am the customer the one tried so hard to be nice with the business owner than the other way around.

- Another worst things happend to my baby, since I put her at that day care, I just saw her once in the swing and the rest I always saw her stuck in her carseat. I did tell the owner to put her in car seat when sleeping only. But all the time I always catched her in car seat, often I picked her up I just found food all over her back and bottom. One day I had my baby full of crumb inside her cloths. It was happend so so many times and I told Keisha and she even did not apologize at all but only say "ok" when I asked a favor to tell her staffs not to feed my baby in car seat. But the next and the rest of the days remain the same, more food found and made the car set so much dirty and I had to soak and washed deeply. When I asked one of the staff if my baby got fed in car seat, the answer just "sometime". I bet all the time, but I can not judge besides I always saw the staff getting short and short handed. For sure made them easier to feed in car seat only.Specially at night when I picked her up, I always found her a lot of time alone in the living room (in car seat) which hurt me alot.

- Whenever I called about pick up time, specially when 2-3 hours earlier, I can tell she never told her staff as everytime I picked up early, the staff was not ready for my baby so I have to wait as usual I notice that I was the only mother waiting cold outside while others inside (why?I had no clue).And as usual I look through window, and my baby always in the car seat while another babies on high chair or swing. I really feel the discrimination cause my baby the only polynesian race baby.

- When they return my baby stuff in the diaper bag, at first 3 months they did it nicely. When they lost her plate and toy, was replaced. But since the DSS denial, was a messy bag I always received and a lot of time I missed her stuff which were return or not. They never called about what left behind. She just did not care. I had no choice just let it go.

- Sometime my baby got scratch on her face ( even very tiny bit ) at least I expected they told me why, never until I had to asked them why? Even the last week she was there I did not see she got 2 scratches on her face until we got home and even left a tiny scar, I just had no option to ask or tell because anyway they ignore it. I realize nothing threat the life, but that's her responsible for small child to let the parent know at least.

- I was told that all the staff are mature women but in fact when I picked my baby at night, most of the time her female teen family handed over my baby with all the food I provided remain the same. It mean that from the time I drop her at 4pm till 09-11pm she just had a bottle of milk, no dinner or snack at all. I assumed because whoever young lady had to watch my baby had to do her study stuff and in fact I saw my baby always alone, even I found her awake in themiddle of living room dark just accompanied with tv on. How should I feel to see this view? When I asked why my baby did not get fed, I had no answer but the next day I found all the small food container totally empty and always empty, not like the beginning they always leave the left over, so I can figure out how much my baby ate and I could catch up from there. But after always remain full follows always empty, how I could figure out? I am afraid and worry if they throw my baby's food just to keep me quiet?

- I just tried to survive calm even inside so burn and pain, just to make the hospital bill paid at least and till I lost my job on Dec 27. I had to stop the day care service by calling the day care owner the next day to let her know and requesting the receipts for the day care payment since September 01, 2012 which she never provided no matter I kept calling her, leaving the message through her staff many many times, even note when paying the next payment. She never never never respond my request for asking receipt which that's the responsible for the person whom accept any payment. Even I told her if she could not provide one week receipt, I try to be flexible to give me monthly receipt. I just dont know how she run the business if she treat me so bad like this, or just "special treatment" only to me? She did not respond my message. I called again Jan 03, jan 04 and Jan 07 still no respond. I left messages to get my receipts for the payment since September till December and paperwork to file my tax return as she promised me to provide. I really need those receipts/paperworks (whatever it called) to file my tax return since I always paid in cash because she did not receive other than cash.

- I realize that I suppose to file a complain while still using the day care service, but I was worried if they would abandon my baby. When I just stay so cool and calm , we got these kind of treatment, would be worst if complaining, so I just hold my patient till now I have my baby in my arms and has no worries to tell and express all the reality I have and specially my baby were facing when I always wish as if my baby could talk, she would tell me how she end up in winter jacket stuck in hot car seat for hours and watching tv alone in the dark.
Reply
Hunni Bee 04:33 PM 01-11-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Feb 2012, I enrolled my baby when she was 8 months to Angel Happy day care in Hempstead, close the place I live which mentioned open 24/7. So, its really ideal for me when I was working at the restaurant that had irregular working hours. At the same time I put my baby at day care, also I applied for DSS. The day care owner encouraged me to do, so can help me paying the day care cost when I had to catch the payment for hospital bill.

The day care owner told me that she is not a money oriented like the rest of day care owner, so she gave me the private day care cost for 4 days at $120. Sometime I had to drop my baby more than 4 days, so as per her decision I always paid extra day for $30. Even couple times, I had to drop my baby from 10am till 09 pm such as on Mother day or other very busy day in the restaurant I paid $60/day. I also let her know in advanced that my working schedule will be irregular and she said that nothing to be worried about that, just let her know in advance for any changes and that's worked for me.

At first, everything seemed alright with all the friendly kids welcomed my baby and staffs are nice. Eventough most of time I encountered so many stained on my baby cloths from the feeding when I provided all the food, formula and bib as needed. Also many food stain and food left all over car seat like they fed my baby in the car seat instead of high chair.

While my baby at day care, I tried to follow the apllication progress to get the DSS aproval which were so very slow from February I put the application and kept calling the social service so many times which never answer the phone. The social service just kept sending me mail to get more and more paper works made me kept sending all the paperworks asked but finally end up I was denied for not providing proper paperworks ( hard to understand). While on the other hand, Keisha told me that according her call to DSS for checking up my application status she said the denial cause my join income with my husband exceed the limit. So I gave her the copy of denial letter from DSS to prove what I told her.

Since she found out I was denied from DSS, the way she treated me and my baby just getting awkward and sour. I felt the discrimination. I know there was nothing threat my baby's life, but I am as her mother, have the instinct and also feeling from the way she treat me especially my baby such as :

- From the day my baby at day care, I told them many times my baby's name, seem they did not have willingness to call by her name, but just keep calling her "chinese baby". I thought just the beginning but seemed for good. Besides we are not chinese at all. Suppose to be the owner had to introduce my baby's name to every body but I can tell she never did it. Only one only staff asked me her name 6 months after. The owner called my baby with that term as if I never gave my baby a name. Even to call me, she called "hello" or " excuse me" when I always called her name. Also sometime I am wonder if my baby could ever on her record, since I can not recall signing any paperwork with her (in this case I feel just a stupid mother and felt so guilty for my baby). Another thing, I never get any baby activities day hand out which was I always got from my baby's first day care.

- From the beginning, the day care owner was nice until I was denied from DSS I was treated so unfriendly.
Then when I called regarding my drop in or pick up time, she always answer my call but after that never until she answered my call again but with very unfriendly voice.
When I picked my baby, if she the one handed over my baby, never bothered to see my face while I said thank
you just receive a very cold welcome.
Many days I saw her and she always show sour faces and ignoring ( I just amazed how she did the business like this way, or just to me she act like this).
One day she even slam the door in front of me( as if I have no feeling at all).

- She said she is not a money oriented person, but one day I dropped my baby at 10am and had to pick up at 11am cause my sudden job schedule change, so I dropped my baby again at 04pm and picked up at 10pm, on the way carrying my baby in car seat, one of her female teen family ran after me and saying that I had to pay more for extra hour? What!! She said not a money minded. I was so astonished by hearing that but it's okey for 1 hour extra I had to pay the whole day but my concern was why she was not the one telling me cause I saw she was sitting close to door where I always waiting for my baby. Since this happening, I told my husband to quit his first job, so he could pick our baby around 06pm-08pm (after I drop her off at 4pm cause I worked till 10-11pm) just avoid more sour faces. At this point, I am the customer the one tried so hard to be nice with the business owner than the other way around.

- Another worst things happend to my baby, since I put her at that day care, I just saw her once in the swing and the rest I always saw her stuck in her carseat. I did tell the owner to put her in car seat when sleeping only. But all the time I always catched her in car seat, often I picked her up I just found food all over her back and bottom. One day I had my baby full of crumb inside her cloths. It was happend so so many times and I told Keisha and she even did not apologize at all but only say "ok" when I asked a favor to tell her staffs not to feed my baby in car seat. But the next and the rest of the days remain the same, more food found and made the car set so much dirty and I had to soak and washed deeply. When I asked one of the staff if my baby got fed in car seat, the answer just "sometime". I bet all the time, but I can not judge besides I always saw the staff getting short and short handed. For sure made them easier to feed in car seat only.Specially at night when I picked her up, I always found her a lot of time alone in the living room (in car seat) which hurt me alot.

- Whenever I called about pick up time, specially when 2-3 hours earlier, I can tell she never told her staff as everytime I picked up early, the staff was not ready for my baby so I have to wait as usual I notice that I was the only mother waiting cold outside while others inside (why?I had no clue).And as usual I look through window, and my baby always in the car seat while another babies on high chair or swing. I really feel the discrimination cause my baby the only polynesian race baby.

- When they return my baby stuff in the diaper bag, at first 3 months they did it nicely. When they lost her plate and toy, was replaced. But since the DSS denial, was a messy bag I always received and a lot of time I missed her stuff which were return or not. They never called about what left behind. She just did not care. I had no choice just let it go.

- Sometime my baby got scratch on her face ( even very tiny bit ) at least I expected they told me why, never until I had to asked them why? Even the last week she was there I did not see she got 2 scratches on her face until we got home and even left a tiny scar, I just had no option to ask or tell because anyway they ignore it. I realize nothing threat the life, but that's her responsible for small child to let the parent know at least.

- I was told that all the staff are mature women but in fact when I picked my baby at night, most of the time her female teen family handed over my baby with all the food I provided remain the same. It mean that from the time I drop her at 4pm till 09-11pm she just had a bottle of milk, no dinner or snack at all. I assumed because whoever young lady had to watch my baby had to do her study stuff and in fact I saw my baby always alone, even I found her awake in themiddle of living room dark just accompanied with tv on. How should I feel to see this view? When I asked why my baby did not get fed, I had no answer but the next day I found all the small food container totally empty and always empty, not like the beginning they always leave the left over, so I can figure out how much my baby ate and I could catch up from there. But after always remain full follows always empty, how I could figure out? I am afraid and worry if they throw my baby's food just to keep me quiet?

- I just tried to survive calm even inside so burn and pain, just to make the hospital bill paid at least and till I lost my job on Dec 27. I had to stop the day care service by calling the day care owner the next day to let her know and requesting the receipts for the day care payment since September 01, 2012 which she never provided no matter I kept calling her, leaving the message through her staff many many times, even note when paying the next payment. She never never never respond my request for asking receipt which that's the responsible for the person whom accept any payment. Even I told her if she could not provide one week receipt, I try to be flexible to give me monthly receipt. I just dont know how she run the business if she treat me so bad like this, or just "special treatment" only to me? She did not respond my message. I called again Jan 03, jan 04 and Jan 07 still no respond. I left messages to get my receipts for the payment since September till December and paperwork to file my tax return as she promised me to provide. I really need those receipts/paperworks (whatever it called) to file my tax return since I always paid in cash because she did not receive other than cash.

- I realize that I suppose to file a complain while still using the day care service, but I was worried if they would abandon my baby. When I just stay so cool and calm , we got these kind of treatment, would be worst if complaining, so I just hold my patient till now I have my baby in my arms and has no worries to tell and express all the reality I have and specially my baby were facing when I always wish as if my baby could talk, she would tell me how she end up in winter jacket stuck in hot car seat for hours and watching tv alone in the dark.
First of all, I am so sorry that happened to you. I was even angry while I was reading it.

Second, pull your daughter immediately. I definitely understand the how Social Services is with paperwork, I worked with DSS pay families for several years and I saw how inconsistent it was. Nevertheless, tell them you had to pull your daughter, and why. And that you need to reapply and get your baby in a safe, caring environment immediately.

And yes, file a report. It is most definitely wrong to feed and nap a baby in their carseat, let alone leave her there for hours on end. She should never have been left alone. If a teenager was not introduced and proof of her training was not given to you, she should not have been caring for your baby. Include the emotional distress of them referring to her as the "Chinese Baby" and never her name, of having to wait outside. these people are negligent and discriminatory. Im sure unlicensed and operating under the radar as well.

Finally, I know you know this, but never place your child in any care situation where you have filled out no paperwork. You are not a bad or stupid mother, but it could have gone (and still could go) very badly. If your baby had gotten sick or injured at this horrible place, they would've had no medical records or maybe not even a way to contact you. Even still, I worry that woman may try to claim your daughter was never enrolled...because on paper, she really wasn't.

Again, I am sorry this is happening. Please remove your daughter from their "care" asap. Good luck.
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Unregistered 12:43 PM 02-02-2013
I was not aware that we were supposed to report to a state agencies and i told a parent instead and i was filed the next day. Nothing fixed but them having my noticing their awful actions and horrible daycare out of their hair.
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Unregistered 07:35 AM 06-04-2013
The directors never like to hold their own.
They rarely show up. When they do they
Have another teacher assistant do their class.
The head teacher is left with alot on her plate.
The head teacher has gotten way too aggressive.
She yells alot and scares them. She grabs them really hard too!
Her behavior has been made aware. The directors didnt care
They just need their school open for the money.
The school isn't clean. Look closely. Toys are gross sitting in germs!
The walls and vents have what looks like mold. The floors are always disquieting and have bugs everywhere! It's sad to say that a place like this is still running.
Some of the workers there are really good with he children. They don't seem to do much about the head teacher though. They just want their pay check. This head teacher and directors need to stop their habits. Wake up and realize what kind of field they are in and fix them selves before they really hurt a child worse than what was seen...
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Blackcat31 08:02 AM 06-04-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
The directors never like to hold their own.
They rarely show up. When they do they
Have another teacher assistant do their class.
The head teacher is left with alot on her plate.
The head teacher has gotten way too aggressive.
She yells alot and scares them. She grabs them really hard too!
Her behavior has been made aware. The directors didnt care
They just need their school open for the money.
The school isn't clean. Look closely. Toys are gross sitting in germs!
The walls and vents have what looks like mold. The floors are always disquieting and have bugs everywhere! It's sad to say that a place like this is still running.
Some of the workers there are really good with he children. They don't seem to do much about the head teacher though. They just want their pay check. This head teacher and directors need to stop their habits. Wake up and realize what kind of field they are in and fix them selves before they really hurt a child worse than what was seen...
You are welcome to complain or vent here.

However, you cannot post the name and location of a specific child care facility in your post. That is NOT acceptable.

If you are unhappy with a care facility, please report them to the correct agency.
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Unregistered 08:15 AM 01-23-2018
I have lost all faith in the overseers of these day cares. One open for 17 months, has raked up 47 violations, at least 5 different written parent complaints. She has been shut down twice and "retrained" she has attacked parents and other providers she believes have "turned her in" going after them by first and last names with the most foul language you can imagine. And yet she is still open. So how do you get rid of these bad home daycares?
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Cat Herder 09:35 AM 01-23-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
So how do you get rid of these bad home daycares?
Report your suspicions to licensing, enroll your children elsewhere and carry on with your life.
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hwichlaz 11:06 AM 01-23-2018
Yep, vote with your dollars, take them elsewhere.
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BrynleeJean 08:36 PM 02-07-2018
Thats awful. Well if its REALLY an issue you can call state. they will investigate based on mistreatment of a child, and the person involved and things will get real serious real fast.
Other then that, maybe just idk have a talk with her. tell her the things your seeing and what people may be seeing and that "somebody" is concerned that she isn't caring for those children properly or at all and that they may report her to the state. no easy answers.
i don't see her just waking up and being a better person the next day the safest thing is she doesn't work their anymore. maybe someone high up but not the pastor, another male that could talk to the pastor about it?

Good luck
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Blackcat31 08:28 AM 02-09-2018
Originally Posted by BrynleeJean:
Thats awful. Well if its REALLY an issue you can call state. they will investigate based on mistreatment of a child, and the person involved and things will get real serious real fast.
Other then that, maybe just idk have a talk with her. tell her the things your seeing and what people may be seeing and that "somebody" is concerned that she isn't caring for those children properly or at all and that they may report her to the state. no easy answers.
i don't see her just waking up and being a better person the next day the safest thing is she doesn't work their anymore. maybe someone high up but not the pastor, another male that could talk to the pastor about it?

Good luck
Not sure which poster you are giving advice to but if it's the OP, this thread is from 2009.
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Tags:2009, cruelty, emotional abuse, investigate, licensing citations, report, terrorizing
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