Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Red Flags
DCMama 09:51 PM 09-26-2012
Just wondering what are some of the providers here "red flags" when interviewing potential families. What are some of the things that you see that would make you feel like you will not work with this family.

I recently got an unexpected interview that make me feel really uncomfortable. First of all, I was not at my daycare in the morning because I had to pick up some stuff. I do not have any kids yet in the morning so that was okay for me to leave. My sister which is my assistance was home and got a call from a parent wanting to know our rate. My sister told them that she cannot tell them that but if they leave their name and number the owner will call them back and answer any questions they may have better. They were like, so we have your address can we come over for a visit? My sister say yes but they won't give her their names and number. I was like, "next time do not allow them to come unless we know a little more info about them." The time that they suppose to come rolled around and they did not show up. All of the sudden 2.5 hours later they showed up and my sister let them in.... gasp. Red flag number one. They stay and show interest but they both are stay home worker so they want to be able to come there and stay with their child while we care for them....gasp Red flag number 2. I told them I won't mind the first day but then they need to let go and let me do my job. (of course I say it in a nice way). He literally say he wants to come here with his laptop and work and his wife can stay with their son in my home.....wthello? I let them have a trail for 2 days but I hope they do not stay for the whole time and will definitely remind them that again in the morning.sigh Really need to talk to them clearly about this again...this is like soooo amazingly weird.
Reply
daycare 10:01 PM 09-26-2012
I'm confused. They want to work out of your house on their laptop. ??
No way sister
Reply
DCMama 10:19 PM 09-26-2012
Yes...he actually say..."I work from home so if I can come over here and just sit on your couch in the other room while you go on your day with the rest of your kids..." my mouth just drop....like....what??? I'll let you stay on the first day that's already pushing it...you expect me to let you stay on and off anytime you please throughout the whole day???? I do not get it...I know their child has like a skin problem right now and they are worry. but if they can't trust in me as a provider they can just keep him home wrapped in a bubble. sigh
Reply
daycare 10:49 PM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by DCMama:
Yes...he actually say..."I work from home so if I can come over here and just sit on your couch in the other room while you go on your day with the rest of your kids..." my mouth just drop....like....what??? I'll let you stay on the first day that's already pushing it...you expect me to let you stay on and off anytime you please throughout the whole day???? I do not get it...I know their child has like a skin problem right now and they are worry. but if they can't trust in me as a provider they can just keep him home wrapped in a bubble. sigh
Oh noooo. I see so many things that could go wrong.
Also in CA if he is in the house for that long, he will need to get a background clearance and all required clearances from licensing.

I would tell him he can stay for 30min and then needs to go

I would call him and let him know this about licensing rules.
What if he is a pedi ????

There are so many other things I could see going wrong, but I would get on the phone right now.
Just let him know cuz are still new you didn't know that . If he argues you on it give him the number for licensing and let them tell him.
Reply
rhymia1 04:04 AM 09-27-2012
Yikes! Those are some HUGE red flags!

I see so many issues that I would give the family a pass. No one tells me how things are going to go in my business.
Reply
Sugar Magnolia 04:18 AM 09-27-2012
Um, that's not a red flag, that is more like Run! Run away, Fast!
Reply
lovemykidstoo 05:37 AM 09-27-2012
I cannot believe you would agree to that in any form. There is something seriously wrong with this situation. I would not have taken that family for any reason. Maybe they're homeless and have nowhere to go during the day?
Reply
seebachers 05:40 AM 09-27-2012
No way in hello!!!
Reply
Cat Herder 05:45 AM 09-27-2012
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Um, that's not a red flag, that is more like Run! Run away, Fast!
Yeah, what she said.
Reply
MyAngels 06:02 AM 09-27-2012
Agree with the others - no way, no how!

Welcome back CatHerder - haven't seen you around for awhile .
Reply
Meeko 06:16 AM 09-27-2012
No no no no no........rinse repeat......
Reply
Willow 07:03 AM 09-27-2012
Why on earth did you agree to let him stay in your home like that for even one day??

Is that even legal where you're at because it wouldn't be here!


Call him and tell him upon review of your licensing policies you cannot allow him to do such a thing. Let him know if he'd still like you to provide care for his child x, y and z paperwork will have to be completed even before admittance during the two day trial period.




The word "no" goes a long way if you get flustered in any interview. USE IT!!!
Reply
SunshineMama 07:08 AM 09-27-2012
Something seems way amiss here, beyond normal dcp red flags to me. They didnt want to leave their name and number, and they both work at home but want to bring their kids to work at your home? I hate to think the worst in people but in my gut, based on what you said I am immediately worrying about kidnapping and pedafiles, for some reason. Not only would I sever ties with this person immediately (in a professional manner, of course), but I would be extra diligent and careful about your security and the kids. It is so sad, but you never can be too careful.
Reply
PolkaTots 07:30 AM 09-27-2012
I am shocked you are considering this? Is this a real post?????
First of all, no way in heck would I have even interviewed these people in the first place. ALL of my first interviews are conducted AFTER daycare hours for safety reasons. I don't know these people, and want to meet them and their child first before allowing them to meet my crew, plus it is a lot easier to give them undivided attention with all the kiddos trying to show off. I will do a second interview/playdate after to see how they interact with my crew.
And for someone to stay in your home...Ummm...NO! In Iowa anyone that stays in the home with the children MUST have a background check, medical clearance, current physical, and immunization records.
Reply
DaisyMamma 07:56 AM 09-27-2012
Originally Posted by PolkaTots:
I am shocked you are considering this? Is this a real post?????
NO WAY IN HECK WOULD I EVER EVEN CONSIDER THIS!
LOL

Reply
momofsix 08:05 AM 09-27-2012
First of all, while you are in one room with the children he could be ANYWHERE in your house doing/taking who knows what!
Second of all, with a computer I'm sure he has a webcam and could be recording you, the kids...anything he wants and you wouldn't even know it!
If anyone makes you uncomfortable, ever, that is a red flag. You don't even have to have a real reason-a gut feeling of uncomfortable is often the best gauge of people we have.
If you're not comfortable with being firm yourself with them do as others have said and blame licensing. Strange adults are NEVER allowed to hang out in a daycare. You are responsible for all the other children first and foremost!
Reply
HappyHearts 08:06 AM 09-27-2012
Wow! Every time I think I've heard it all, I see something like this! Kind of scary in a strange sort of way! Definitely agree with the others, these are some HUGE red flags. I would never feel comfortable with them in my home even for a second after this, so I would run away fast too!!
Reply
daycare 08:10 AM 09-27-2012
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Yeah, what she said.
I had to go back and make sure I was not responding to an old post because I saw your response..............

so great to see you!!!

and yes this is a real post.....I have emailed with this provider and she is very very new and you all know that we have all made mistakes starting out...
Reply
cheerfuldom 08:33 AM 09-27-2012
Please dont do this OP!!!
Reply
mom2many 08:41 AM 09-27-2012
This is just very, very strange and I would never allow a parent to do this on so many different levels!

I agree with everyone else...HUGE red flags!!!! No way, No how would I allow this to go on!
Reply
DaisyMamma 08:42 AM 09-27-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
we have all made mistakes starting out...
Isn't that the truth!
Reply
crazydaycarelady 09:19 AM 09-27-2012
Absolutely do not do this!

A NORMAL person would find someone to come to their house a watch the child, a NORMAL person would not want to sit at a strangers house and work, and a NORMAL person would realize it is crazy to even ask.

AlsoI don't think its been mentioned but wouldn't he be using your interent!
Reply
clep 09:27 AM 09-27-2012
And I thought I heard everything. This is crazy and I would be deeply concerned about this couple taking my house hostage, literally. I would very quickly terminate them, completely in a nice way.

This is the craziest thing!!!!
Reply
renodeb 09:29 AM 09-27-2012
How weird. You know there is just something you feel with a prospective client when it feels right. Like a connection with them. Its hard to explain. Maybe its a vibe. Or an instinct we as providers have.
Debbie
Reply
DCMama 09:33 AM 09-27-2012
First of all thank you for the responses. Second of all i must clarify somethings ( not like it make it any better) he asked that, i did not agree to it. I agree for them to stay a little bit on the first day to see how i run things, but after that off they go to wherever they must. My annoyance is that he asked that during the interview. I was literally like looking at him and was like are you serious? That cant happen. I just cant... But for them to ask that an want to come over at times just to stay with their child i think is werid, just bring him home for goodness sake. I think they should just keep stayin home and take care of their own child now that i think about it. All the responses (although appericiated) make me even more scare. Okay thats it, they are out of here if they try to stay for longer than 3o min!!
Reply
daycare 09:40 AM 09-27-2012
Originally Posted by DCMama:
First of all thank you for the responses. Second of all i must clarify somethings ( not like it make it any better) he asked that, i did not agree to it. I agree for them to stay a little bit on the first day to see how i run things, but after that off they go to wherever they must. My annoyance is that he asked that during the interview. I was literally like looking at him and was like are you serious? That cant happen. I just cant... But for them to ask that an want to come over at times just to stay with their child i think is werid, just bring him home for goodness sake. I think they should just keep stayin home and take care of their own child now that i think about it. All the responses (although appericiated) make me even more scare. Okay thats it, they are out of here if they try to stay for longer than 3o min!!
We all made mistakes starting out. You will make many many more...lucky for you that you found this form while starting out....

I would just tell him what I told you. It is the truth. Let him stay 30, no computer and thats it.

BTW how many other kids do you have? Can you maybe do a circle time reading while he is there and just let him sit with his kid?
Reply
DCMama 09:59 AM 09-27-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
We all made mistakes starting out. You will make many many more...lucky for you that you found this form while starting out....

I would just tell him what I told you. It is the truth. Let him stay 30, no computer and thats it.

BTW how many other kids do you have? Can you maybe do a circle time reading while he is there and just let him sit with his kid?
Thanks daycare, will definitely learn from my mistakes. It will be him, his wife , and their son coming today again together and that if they have all the papers filled out and immunization record to give me in the morning. He actually ask for his wife to stay and for him to sometime be there if we ever decide to go long term. The while laptop thing is not for today. Of course it will b not for ever cause i didnt agree. I will deinfitely tell them about the 30 min rule and if they cant do it i will turn them away at the door. Right now i have my son, nephew, and a friend's kid. So 3? Ya we just go on with our daily routine.
Reply
daycare 10:01 AM 09-27-2012
Originally Posted by DCMama:
Thanks daycare, will definitely learn from my mistakes. It will be him, his wife , and their son coming today again together and that if they have all the papers filled out and immunization record to give me in the morning. He actually ask for his wife to stay and for him to sometime be there if we ever decide to go long term. The while laptop thing is not for today. Of course it will b not for ever cause i didnt agree. I will deinfitely tell them about the 30 min rule and if they cant do it i will turn them away at the door. Right now i have my son, nephew, and a friend's kid. So 3? Ya we just go on with our daily routine.
thats how we learn with anything in life. As long as we learn from my mistakes we are good.

Well good luck to you, I hope that it all works out. Let us know if there is anything else we can help with
Reply
DCMama 11:33 AM 09-27-2012
Problem solved thanks!
Reply
lovemykidstoo 01:17 PM 09-27-2012
Good luck DC, but I seriously wouldn't even let them stay 30 minutes. He asked for his wife to be there and him sometimes? That is just not right. They need to bringing him in the morning and GO TO WORK! I don't have anyone that stays for longer than 5 minutes. You don't have to put up with that and it is very bizarre.
Reply
Provider_Manda 01:54 PM 09-27-2012
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Um, that's not a red flag, that is more like Run! Run away, Fast!
I agree with this !!! The faster you run the better !!
Reply
Tags:interview - checklist, red flag, warning
Reply Up