Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>2nd Day With New Family And It's Not Going To Work!
Mandy_Jane 11:39 AM 11-01-2011
So, I just started a new family yesterday who has a drop off time of 4:15 am . Yep, 4:15 am. What was I THINKING??? I thought I'd give it a shot cause mom says they are awesome kids and they go straight back to sleep at drop off. So for the 2nd morning in a row, 18 month old dcb screams bloody murder, high pitched screams for 20 minutes straight before falling asleep. He woke up my DH and two daughters who do not need to be waking that early.

His sister is 4 and she's no problem at all. Thank goodness! But the screaming in the morning is just not going to work for me. I am just re-opening my daycare and they were my first kids enrolled, and I think that's why I bent my rules and took them, so I could at least get SOMEONE enrolled. But now I am regretting it.

Oh, and the kicker is mom did not even meet me in person until the morning of drop-off! I couldn't believe it! So she didn't have a chance to read over my policies until her lunch break yesterday. So when she comes to pick them up, she had questions for me about my sick policies. She told me her kids are lactose intolerant and her son has loose stools all of the time, including sometimes have complete liquid stools! So she was wanting to know what I thought about that since I say if they have more than one abnormally loose stool they have to go home.

Then she points out the part talking about fevers and if they have a fever over 100 degrees they have to be sent home. She says that her kids always have a higher than normal body temperature averaging anywhere between 99 and 101! I told her that I took her son's temp earlier that day (cause I suspected she brought him sick) and his temp was 98.1 under his arm. So no fever. She also said if her daughter is running around playing, her temp can go as high as 103 degrees! Has anyone ever heard of this? I think she's just looking for a reason to bring them when they have fevers. I told her she would need to bring me a doctor's note stating what their normal body temperatures are if this is really the case.

Lastly, she said her son gets diaper rash from having TOO MUCH moisture in his skin, and that when she uses desitin, it makes his rash worse!? This is craziness! All of these things just don't sound right to me. Oh, and she doesn't want to pay me for my holiday's off because she is state pay and if she can't bring them here, then she will have to pay someone else. Which is how it is for anyone else, but she says she can't afford to pay for the day twice. So, yeah, I don't think the kids will be here much longer. But the sad part is, my two little girls LOVE having her daughter here and already consider her their friend! I guess I'm gonna have to explain that daycare kids come and go and hopefully they will understand it.
Reply
boysx5 11:41 AM 11-01-2011
wow 4:15 that is early
Reply
Heidi 11:45 AM 11-01-2011


sure, sounds like a great situation!

If your desperate for the $, keep them until you get some other enrollled, giving the proper notice, of course.

Otherwise, tell her now it's not going to work out
Reply
countrymom 11:54 AM 11-01-2011
wow, when you have more kids get rid of them. I have never heard of anything so crazy like her. What does she do that she needs to get the kids at your house so early and did her kids go to another provider.
Reply
Meyou 11:55 AM 11-01-2011
It sounds like she has a list of excuses prepared to get around your policies. Don't fall for it.
Reply
wdmmom 11:55 AM 11-01-2011
I'd tell her that it's not going to work out.

If she gets help from the state, she should have a list of other providers that might be willing to accommodate her crazy requests.
Reply
Cat Herder 12:07 PM 11-01-2011
Holy Red Flags, Batman.....

Run!!!
Reply
Mandy_Jane 12:12 PM 11-01-2011
She works for Home Depot and travels around to the different stores in my area doing something having to do with stocking shelves, arranging displays, and making sure the aisles are safe and clear of things. She is at a different store each day. She is supposed to be at work at 5:00 am, but she says she likes to get there at 4:45 am so she can have a few minutes to herself or something like that. And another weird thing is she lives about an hour away from me! So she has to get the kids up at like 3:00 in the morning to get to me by 4:15 am. I feel so bad for the kids! They are not ever going to be able to get the proper sleep their bodies need! I do need the money, but I also need my sanity. And as I have realized over the last two days, it is not good on me getting up that early!

Another bad thing is she did not have the money to pay me in advance like I ask for in my policies, so she wrote me a check and post dated it for the 11th which is when she gets paid. Her portion after state pay is $105.00 a week, so she wrote me the check for $210 to cover their first two weeks. But I am about ready to give her the check back and tell her to rewrite it for one weeks pay and that she has to find another daycare. I feel bad because I KNOW she is having a very hard time finding someone to do care that early. But I really need to consider my own needs and my family's needs over hers. I just feel bad about the whole situation.

The kids were in daycare prior to coming here. They were at a center and the dcm told me someone there pulled the skin on her son's penis back and basically ripped it loose during a diaper change, so she pulled her kids out of that daycare. Then she was taking them to someone who agreed to only charge $175.00 a week for both, but then changed the rate to $225.00 when it was time to pay. So that is how I ended up with them. And I am technically not even registered to take state pay yet. I am in the process of getting my paperwork done. I figure I will be screwed out of the money I would have gotten from the state, but I just need to go ahead and give her notice now. Plus, her boy is so congested in his chest and is always rattling when he breathes. She tells me it's allergies and that both of her kids have them year round . But he has thick green snot, and I don't think you get that with allergies. This is seriously turning out to be one of the worst daycare situations I have ever been in!

Oh, I did get a call today from a daycare mom I interviewed last week and she said her baby will be starting on Monday, full time! So at least I have that lined up.
Reply
WImom 12:12 PM 11-01-2011
Yeah, I'd tell her it's not going to work. You don't want to get burnt out from your first family. Who knows what else this mom is going to come up with.
Reply
Cat Herder 12:16 PM 11-01-2011
IME, it sounds more like she has exhausted daycare options closer to her...with the same stuff she is pulling on you.

I have seen it before.
Reply
nannyde 12:32 PM 11-01-2011
Oh lord

Landmines everywhere here

Never start a client without interviewing them extensively.

She's telling you that she has had daycare before and had her kid excluded for fevers, diaper rashes, and loose stools so she's putting in an insurance policy to make sure that you can't attribute illness to their signs of illness. She's able to do that with words so it doesn't cost her anything.

She's had a TON of problems with previous child cares regarding her kids being sick.

Tell her you need a doc note saying the child has lactose intollerance and that both children have a normal body temp that is higher than the average body temp. Also it needs to include that the childs body temp will raise to 103 with just exercising.

You need to be given a specific diet of what the kid is on and have Mom bring the food that accomodates the lactose intolerance for EACH meal and snack. If he's on the proper diet then you shouldn't have loose stools because of foods. Tell her that if he has loose stools because of foods SHE gave him or gave him access to that he will still be excluded for 24 hours. You can't have a child in your home with explosive stools whether they are contagious or not. If she insists that he must stay with loose stools she needs to supply a cleaning fee deposit so that you can hire out professional cleaning for any explosions that will soil your carpet or equipment. She also needs to supply double diapers so that you can double layer him.

You need a SIGNED medical release form that says that you can speak to her doctors and one for them to speak to you. You need to request a full medical history on both kids. A child who can go to 103 degree temp with exercising would be a special needs child and you will need a medical plan in place to manage the high fevers if she would have an illness causing a higher fever on top of her already high 103 fever. Just a degree more in an illness could cause her to have febrile seizures. You need specific instructsions of how often to take her temperature and anti fever medication instructions. You also need to make it clear that she MUST go home with a temp that high. It's just too risky to have her at your home with a temp like that whether she is contagious or not.

Sound like a lot?

It is.

The point is to take her words and put them back into her lap with a bunch more words AND action on her part. She needs to BACK UP what she has said to you and provide the doctors instructions. She also needs to get you that special needs funding for her older child's fever disorder.

My guess is that both kids are perfectly healthy and she is just trying to make sure that she can't be called to come get them if they are sick or you refuse them if they are sick. She prolly thinks it's pretty clever on her part. She will also let you know they are teething and have allergies to cover the colds they will most likely get.

Once she has fever, diarrhea, colds, and diaper rashes covered the only thing she will need next is a way to explain any body rashes. Other than that she's covered to bring them sick every time.

Make her give you this stuff in writing and make a BIG deal out of her words. Also make a big deal of the money you should be getting for taking care of their special special. Make sure she provides the special food for the little one AND double the diapers.

Just decide for yourself if you can work for her. She is LYING to you and you have just started. Parental lying regarding illness is VERY VERY common. Lying about it before the kid even gets sick shows a comfort level in lying that would be hard for even the most seasoned provider to manage. Decide if you are up to it cuz it's going to be a long long bumpy road.
Reply
wdmmom 12:52 PM 11-01-2011
Reasons to terminate:

1.) No interview

2.) Paying late right off the bat

3.) No state funding means no guaranteed payment

4.) Bringing in sick kids

5.) Lying

Do you really need more?!
Reply
Mandy_Jane 01:12 PM 11-01-2011
Yeah, I'm not questioning whether or not to terminate. Just when to terminate I guess. Since I have a newborn starting next week, it would be nice to be free of this family by then. I guess I will go ahead and let her know tomorrow that it isn't working out. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty when I know a parent is probably going to have to miss work because of me not keeping their kids. Hopefully she will be able to find someone soon. She never did sign my contract or policies, so I am not bound by anything regarding how much notice I have to give her. I've just got to gather up the nerve to tell her.
Reply
Cat Herder 01:15 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by Mandy_Jane:
Yeah, I'm not questioning whether or not to terminate. Just when to terminate I guess. Since I have a newborn starting next week, it would be nice to be free of this family by then. I guess I will go ahead and let her know tomorrow that it isn't working out. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty when I know a parent is probably going to have to miss work because of me not keeping their kids. Hopefully she will be able to find someone soon. She never did sign my contract or policies, so I am not bound by anything regarding how much notice I have to give her. I've just got to gather up the nerve to tell her.
Terminate yesterday.

Ideally, the child should have never attended without an interview, payment in advance and signed contract in hand.

Don't feel guilty. You are the one that got railroaded, not her.
Reply
nannyde 01:46 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by Mandy_Jane:
Yeah, I'm not questioning whether or not to terminate. Just when to terminate I guess. Since I have a newborn starting next week, it would be nice to be free of this family by then. I guess I will go ahead and let her know tomorrow that it isn't working out. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty when I know a parent is probably going to have to miss work because of me not keeping their kids. Hopefully she will be able to find someone soon. She never did sign my contract or policies, so I am not bound by anything regarding how much notice I have to give her. I've just got to gather up the nerve to tell her.
No reason to feel guilt. You've been lied to. You can't build a relationship on a foundation of lies. You either agree to keep her kids sick or let her go.

She will have a wonderful life lesson. You can't make up stories and believe your own press and end up with good child care. You have to WORK to find the right person and be HONEST with them. You also HAVE to accept that when your kids are sick you can't bring them to group care. Coming up with insurance words will not help you keep your sick kid in child care.
Reply
caligirl 02:39 PM 11-01-2011
Absolutely no way. Nope. I wouldn't do it. I'd tell her, that I am SO sorry, but for all the reasons you mentioned, that you were not the right provider for her.
Reply
wdmmom 02:52 PM 11-01-2011
I wouldn't even wait until tomorrow when today is as good a day as any! Give her tonight to start looking!
Reply
cheerfuldom 03:20 PM 11-01-2011
I would assume that she will not pay you or re-write the check after you term. Keep the two weeks check till she actually hands you the one week. Since nothing is signed, she's not bound by a contract to pay you either (if you were to take her to small claims, it would be a she said, she said situation)

this whole thing was a disaster.

btw my middle daughter is lactose intolerant and loose stools are due to a poor diet. As long as we follow her diet, her stools are normal.
Reply
wdmmom 03:35 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would assume that she will not pay you or re-write the check after you term. Keep the two weeks check till she actually hands you the one week. Since nothing is signed, she's not bound by a contract to pay you either (if you were to take her to small claims, it would be a she said, she said situation)

this whole thing was a disaster.

btw my middle daughter is lactose intolerant and loose stools are due to a poor diet. As long as we follow her diet, her stools are normal.

Small claims court is still possible. The provider would be paid for the service she already provided. Not anything in addition to.

At this point, I'd probably send them on their way and take the loss. In the end, you'll gain much more!
Reply
Live and Learn 04:25 PM 11-01-2011
I apologize...I did not read other responses.

One thing that stands out besides the obvious.....not meeting the mom at all before caring for children is this....

I was told by my doc to add a degree to armpit temperatures. So 98.1 would be a 99.1. NO MATTER WHAT STICK BY YOUR SICK POLICY!!....or live to regret it!!!!!
Reply
sharlan 04:50 PM 11-01-2011
[quote=wdmmom;161183]Small claims court is still possible. The provider would be paid for the service she already provided. Not anything in addition to.

At this point, I'd probably send them on their way and take the loss. In the end, you'll gain much more![/QUOTE]

I agree, you're only out a couple of days if you don't get paid.

The baby is probably screaming every morning because she/he has had numerous caretakers already and has no idea what is going on.
Reply
renodeb 09:13 AM 11-03-2011
Thats insanity! Never have I heard such craziness. Sounds like excuses to me. Sometimes they just dont work out.
I know for me each time I took a child b/c I really needed the money it never ended up working out. It's very hard to hold out for a family that will suite you. I would dismiss them as soon as possible. I hope you can replace them soon. My daughter loves the dc kids and has a very hard time when one child leaves but its part of dc life! Good luck.
Debbie
Reply
SandeeAR 10:46 AM 11-03-2011
BTW, the current two weeks check you have, will bounce. Take it TODAY, before she gets there, to HER bank and CASH it. Get someone to stay with the kids or take it for you.
Reply
Mandy_Jane 10:51 AM 11-03-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
BTW, the current two weeks check you have, will bounce. Take it TODAY, before she gets there, to HER bank and CASH it. Get someone to stay with the kids or take it for you.
I would do that but it's post dated for the 11th! Where is the smacking yourself in the head emoticon when you need one?! So, what I decided to do is to stick it out for the two weeks, and that's it. And if her check does turn in to rubber, you better believe I will be contacting the prosecuting attorney!
Reply
iheartkids 11:01 AM 11-03-2011
When you have the conversation with her maybe politely throw in there that she should find a provider closer to home for the children's well being. That no provider will probably take her kids with such an early morning fiasco (wake up at 3, get dressed, thrown in car, fall back asleep for an hour, wake back up, thrown at a provider then expected to fall back asleep). I can't even imagine what they are like the rest of the day!
Reply
Blackcat31 11:02 AM 11-03-2011
Originally Posted by Mandy_Jane:
I would do that but it's post dated for the 11th! Where is the smacking yourself in the head emoticon when you need one?! So, what I decided to do is to stick it out for the two weeks, and that's it. And if her check does turn in to rubber, you better believe I will be contacting the prosecuting attorney!
Shouldn't matter when the checks are dated. I think most banks will cash them anyways. At least all the ones in my area do. I have had parents try to pass off a post dated check before and I cash them when they are due NOT when they are dated for.
Reply
Heidi 11:03 AM 11-03-2011
I agree the check will probably bounce. Take it to her bank on the 11th. If you owe her any refund, give it to her with your check. Good lucK!
Reply
Mandy_Jane 11:19 AM 11-03-2011
Originally Posted by bbo:
I agree the check will probably bounce. Take it to her bank on the 11th. If you owe her any refund, give it to her with your check. Good lucK!
No way will I owe her any refund. I am only charging her $105.00 a week for full time for BOTH children total. She gets state assistance, and I am in the process of getting registered to accept state pay. I will probably be screwed out of the other $155 per week I would have gotten from the state. But what can ya do? I'm a dummy! I should have never started this.
Reply
Tags:bad fit, difficult parent, difficult parent request, entitlement, red flag, subsidy
Reply Up