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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What should I make of these parents?
kristinhomedaycare 07:36 PM 08-28-2015
So I had a slot open for Tues Fri and a family needed care only on Fridays. At that time I discussed how even though they only need care from 10:30-5:30 it is still a full day rate which is 40.00 a day if we divide it daily. I sent them my full contract and handbook which details my policies. It goes over how you pay regardless of your attendance, their one week of vacation they can use if they do not attend if prior notice is given, my one week of unpaid vacation, sick policies, and the 9 hour max per day pre-scheduled hours between my open hours and more.

They enrolled for 40.00 a day for fridays. Now in July they told me they wanted to leave their other provider and go full time in the fall. I told them I had a spot as I had 2 leaving for kindergarten. I told them in July they could start the first week of Sept. This is now happening next Monday and I'm getting weird signals.

2 weeks ago was our daycare cookout. They came to it and forgot to pay me for the day that day. The following friday they text me she would not be there today but they would drop off a check for the previous week. I said ok. I emailed them asking if they wanted to use the day they were missing as a vacation day. I told them normally I require 2 weeks notice for vacation days but I can waive that and use one if they wanted. They said sure. She came today and mom came at pick up, forgetting her checkbook again. Did not pay me for today. Said she'd pay me Monday for it. Then asked me 1st about her dcg's naps and saying she naps longer at the other providers. I asked for tips. She said well the dcp puts her in her own separate room. I told her that's not really possible here. I told her I can try to wait until a couple others have fallen asleep and then put her in there but she climbs out of the pack n play and if I put her on the sleep mat I can't leave her alone in there. I also have kids that don't nap but I make rest but if I lay her next to them she stays awake because she sees other kids awake. I can't leave her alone by herself in a room and I also can't leave the other kids alone to put her to sleep. She said she got my contract but doesn't read those long things. She asked about the rate, 40 per day of attendance. I told her as the paperworks says fulltime is 200 per week regardless of attendance and went over the other policies like vacations etc with her. She then asked about creating for her an hourly rate since they aren't coming the full 9 hours a day and only need 1030-5:30. I told them no because I can not fill the other part of the day. Then she asked if we had guns in the house... a question I think she should have asked 3 months ago if she had concerns with my home? I told her no guns at all. She said she wanted to meet my husband. I told her we can set up a time on a sunday because he works 8:30-8:30 every day selling cars. She said she already met him at the party. So not sure why she wanted to meet him again? I am wondering what is going on and what to make of all of this. They used to pay on time every week and now they are late. They have always been flaky with diapers. They won't leave any here but bring like 1-2 diapers for the day. Wondering if I should email them again the contract and state that they should read it over carefully and make sure they are OK with my policies so we make sure the arrangement will be mutually beneficial or if I should just wait this out. I'm assuming they'll talk over the weekend.
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BabyMonkeys 08:57 PM 08-28-2015
I would send them an email and tell them that you no longer think that they are the right fit for your program and wish them luck in finding the program that will be perfect for their little ones.

Surely there is a daycare somewhere that will be willing to take their children that will allow them to:
If this is what they are trying to pull now, can you even imagine what else will come up?
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ChelseaB 09:14 PM 08-28-2015
Originally Posted by angelw2babies:
I would send them an email and tell them that you no longer think that they are the right fit for your program and wish them luck in finding the program that will be perfect for their little ones.

Surely there is a daycare somewhere that will be willing to take their children that will allow them to:
  • pay only when they remember to bring their checkbook
  • choose their own rate, regardless of the contract they signed
  • dictate that their child be provided a private room to nap in..supervised of course.
  • determine the appropriate amount of diapers to leave. It is their child after all. (diapers are expensive! If you leave several the daycare will change them too often. The box says up to 12 hours. Baby shouldn't poop more than once or twice..2 seems like an appropriate amount.)

If this is what they are trying to pull now, can you even imagine what else will come up?

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kristinhomedaycare 09:52 PM 08-28-2015
My issue is I want to make them work if I can because I will have a hole to fill if I let them go. It is hard to fill the over 2 slot. I have 7 babies on the waiting list for under 2 but none for over 2. So the extra income would be appreciated and I can't take another infant.

However, I don't want to deal with a family who is going to flake or be problems. I wonder if this is just last minute jitters or a temporary money problem?

If we do work this out, wondering for nap time advice. For the separate room she says her other provider still just puts her in a room alone by herself in a pack and play and she sleeps for 2.5 hours? I put her in a pack n play and she climbs right out of it within minutes. She also only sleeps like 1 hour at the absolute most once she's asleep and she's been coming only on fridays when it was super quiet here with no babies and only 3 kids 2 of which are older. She wakes up when there was no noise at all and everything is silent. No idea if we do work this out how to handle the sleep thing. She's going to be coming the rest of the week when I have noisy babies. Does this other provider drug her or something, scratching my brain.
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spedmommy4 10:44 PM 08-28-2015
Originally Posted by kristinhomedaycare:
My issue is I want to make them work if I can because I will have a hole to fill if I let them go. It is hard to fill the over 2 slot. I have 7 babies on the waiting list for under 2 but none for over 2. So the extra income would be appreciated and I can't take another infant.

However, I don't want to deal with a family who is going to flake or be problems. I wonder if this is just last minute jitters or a temporary money problem?

If we do work this out, wondering for nap time advice. For the separate room she says her other provider still just puts her in a room alone by herself in a pack and play and she sleeps for 2.5 hours? I put her in a pack n play and she climbs right out of it within minutes. She also only sleeps like 1 hour at the absolute most once she's asleep and she's been coming only on fridays when it was super quiet here with no babies and only 3 kids 2 of which are older. She wakes up when there was no noise at all and everything is silent. No idea if we do work this out how to handle the sleep thing. She's going to be coming the rest of the week when I have noisy babies. Does this other provider drug her or something, scratching my brain.
I wouldn't put much thought into it. There's no way to know what is really happening at the other providers house. Could be just 1 more problem dcm is creating to justify not paying.

In my experience, behavior doesn't change. The parents who have problems with being late continue to be late until they lose childcare. They test me like a toddler; sometimes worse. It's like they have to be sure I am really going to enforce the rules.

If you are letting things slide now, you're in for a rough future with them. If you do decide to keep them, I would never accept dcg into care without payment and adequate supplies for the day, each and every time. My handbook says one package of diapers and wipes and that I determine when I need a new package.
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childcaremom 02:07 AM 08-29-2015
Originally Posted by angelw2babies:
I would send them an email and tell them that you no longer think that they are the right fit for your program and wish them luck in finding the program that will be perfect for their little ones.

Surely there is a daycare somewhere that will be willing to take their children that will allow them to:
  • pay only when they remember to bring their checkbook
  • choose their own rate, regardless of the contract they signed
  • dictate that their child be provided a private room to nap in..supervised of course.
  • determine the appropriate amount of diapers to leave. It is their child after all. (diapers are expensive! If you leave several the daycare will change them too often. The box says up to 12 hours. Baby shouldn't poop more than once or twice..2 seems like an appropriate amount.)

If this is what they are trying to pull now, can you even imagine what else will come up?


I understand you are trying to fill spots but really look at their requests they are making. They are ridiculous and these parents will not get any easier to work with. I have taken families with the intent of 'filling the spot' instead of looking for the family that would be a good fit. It has never ended well. You are seeing red flags and questioning it already. The good fit families will never give you those feelings.

If you do take them, keep advertising to replace! Good families are out there and are worth waiting for.

Good luck!
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Missqjulie 04:15 AM 08-29-2015
Originally Posted by childcaremom:


If you do take them, keep advertising to replace! Good families are out there and are worth waiting for.

Good luck!
This is some good advice to remember!☺
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 04:44 AM 08-29-2015
naptime- once she is here full time I am sure she will settle right into our routines and naptime. It is hard being here one day a week and not getting here until 10:30 means she doesn't have long to play in the mornings so of course she is still excited at naptime! But, I am sure she will settle down.
However Suzie Sunshine we do need to discuss payment. I do expect to be paid on time- especially for those full time spots! So, if I do not receive payment on time I will be forced to add a $20 late fee per day- so friday until Monday is $60 as I am not open on the weekends <Big Smile inserted here> and I can't take Darling Angel back into care until you are current including late fees. I am sure at your job you know when you are going to get paid- I like it when I know I am going to get paid! I am sure you understand.
Now Suzie- do you still want the full time spot or should I start calling my waiting list? I just feel we really need to be on the same page going forward.
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Thriftylady 05:25 AM 08-29-2015
I know you are trying to fill slots, but this mom sounds like a headache. I would let her know that either the payment gets taken care of or it isn't going to work. As far as the other, I would flat out tell her if she didn't trust me there is no way this will work.
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Unregistered 10:04 AM 08-29-2015
So I just wanted to touch base. When I talked to DCM yesterday I got the feeling that you were having some reservations about moving to full time. I do understand if you change your mind or choose not to switch over. There will be no hard feelings either way. If you decide that it is what you still want to do, please fill out all of the paperwork and bring it with you Monday morning with your tuition check (or you can pay me on paypal or by cash). The tuition is 200 per week for the slot paid by the Friday prior to care being received. You can pay more than one week ahead of time if that works better for you, but only one week is due at a time. The tuition is for the slot not based on hours. The handbook has multiple places for you to sign. This is to make sure that you do understand all of the policies. It references vacations, absences, sick policy, tuition & late payments, tardiness, holidays, potty training, full time vs part time, supplies, termination policies, and other important topics. The full time contract also defines payment and the basic tuition. Please make sure after reading it that this is a good fit for you guys. I would hate for you to switch over and leave your other provider to find out that you do not like it here. If you decide it is not a good fit I do require a two week notice to be given which is also referenced in the handbook.

In regards to her nap. I've been trying to brainstorm a game plan for her napping. I'll do my best to get her on a nap schedule where she sleeps more. I have 3 babies (15 mo, 11 mo, 10 mo) most days and DCG (almost 2) and other DCG (3). I do my best to give them all rest and make sure they all sleep. Typically they do go to bed around 12-1ish. your DCG had been using a pack n play on Fridays that was one of the babies pack n plays and I was switching out the sheets. Now that she is here the same days as the babies I will not have a pack n play for her. I only have 3 pack n plays and the nap room is not big enough for a 4th. I can try to put her to sleep on a sleep mat in my daughters bedroom. That may be quieter for her. However, i will have to wait until the babies are asleep and put on something for other DCG to watch in the living room since she does not nap anymore while I put your DCG down. I will also need to leave the door open during this so I can see other DCG and make sure she is supervised. On Tuesdays & Fridays I only have 2 babies, 2 3 year olds, and your DCG. Your DCG could sleep in the pack n play on those days but not sure if changing her routine would confuse her more. I also I fear for her climbing out since she is almost 2. Once the babies are also not in pack n plays the dynamic I'm sure will also have to change since they will no longer put themselves to sleep and will need help with rubbing backs and sitting next to them while they also lie on their mats. I will do my absolute best to get her to sleep for as long as possible in the group dynamic.

We do not have guns or any weapons in my home and the kids are only allowed in the daycare area (so no one except my family is ever allowed in our private family area which is down stairs). So the area you see is the only area in which we play or do any activities in.

Hope that this answers your questions.

Thoughts?
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Unregistered 10:26 AM 08-29-2015
That was too much information and can be confusing to your dcm. Stick to the facts and don't leave room for negotiations. For payments, I would refuse to take dck if any payment is due. You need to stick to your policies. That is the only way this dcm will take you seriously.

As for nap time, why is dcg who is almost 2 still nap in a pnp? I start transitioning to a mat once a child reaches 15-16 months and they transition fine after a couple of days. If a dck wakes up before nap ends they lay quietly on their mat and wait for the signal to get up (I currently have 1.5-3 yr olds, but have had as young as 6 months grow in my program).

I also wouldn't go by how long a child sleeps from what the parents say, I take it as a reference point. I had a dcm who told me dcg naps for 3+ hours at home, and wondered why dcg was only sleeping here an average of 30 minutes here. The reason I found out was dcg naps in her room with windows and door closed, curtains drawn, and only a fan on. Of course I can't replicate that here, and that was the reason dcg was a light sleeper here where every little creak woke dcg up. All I could do was train dcg to sleep in my environment and after a few months was able to sleep for at least an hour to an 1.5. On the other hand I've had parents tell me their dck doesn't nap at home or naps only a short period and yet here will nap for the entire 3 hours.
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finsup 10:51 AM 08-29-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
So I just wanted to touch base. When I talked to DCM yesterday I got the feeling that you were having some reservations about moving to full time. I do understand if you change your mind or choose not to switch over. There will be no hard feelings either way. If you decide that it is what you still want to do, please fill out all of the paperwork and bring it with you Monday morning with your tuition check (or you can pay me on paypal or by cash). The tuition is 200 per week for the slot paid by the Friday prior to care being received. You can pay more than one week ahead of time if that works better for you, but only one week is due at a time. The tuition is for the slot not based on hours. The handbook has multiple places for you to sign. This is to make sure that you do understand all of the policies. It references vacations, absences, sick policy, tuition & late payments, tardiness, holidays, potty training, full time vs part time, supplies, termination policies, and other important topics. The full time contract also defines payment and the basic tuition. Please make sure after reading it that this is a good fit for you guys. I would hate for you to switch over and leave your other provider to find out that you do not like it here. If you decide it is not a good fit I do require a two week notice to be given which is also referenced in the handbook.

In regards to her nap. I've been trying to brainstorm a game plan for her napping. I'll do my best to get her on a nap schedule where she sleeps more. I have 3 babies (15 mo, 11 mo, 10 mo) most days and DCG (almost 2) and other DCG (3). I do my best to give them all rest and make sure they all sleep. Typically they do go to bed around 12-1ish. your DCG had been using a pack n play on Fridays that was one of the babies pack n plays and I was switching out the sheets. Now that she is here the same days as the babies I will not have a pack n play for her. I only have 3 pack n plays and the nap room is not big enough for a 4th. I can try to put her to sleep on a sleep mat in my daughters bedroom. That may be quieter for her. However, i will have to wait until the babies are asleep and put on something for other DCG to watch in the living room since she does not nap anymore while I put your DCG down. I will also need to leave the door open during this so I can see other DCG and make sure she is supervised. On Tuesdays & Fridays I only have 2 babies, 2 3 year olds, and your DCG. Your DCG could sleep in the pack n play on those days but not sure if changing her routine would confuse her more. I also I fear for her climbing out since she is almost 2. Once the babies are also not in pack n plays the dynamic I'm sure will also have to change since they will no longer put themselves to sleep and will need help with rubbing backs and sitting next to them while they also lie on their mats. I will do my absolute best to get her to sleep for as long as possible in the group dynamic.

We do not have guns or any weapons in my home and the kids are only allowed in the daycare area (so no one except my family is ever allowed in our private family area which is down stairs). So the area you see is the only area in which we play or do any activities in.

Hope that this answers your questions.

Thoughts?
That's a lot of info to a parent who already said she doesn't read contracts etc. I would shorten it to say "we are looking forward to dcg joining us full time. As stated in the contract, 200$ is due each Friday. If I do not receive that then (whatever your policy is). Paymemts are based on enrollemnt, not attandance or hours. Dcg needs to come Monday morning with diapers/wipes for the week to be left here. I will let you know when you are getting low. Dcg will not be accepted into care without these.

I am working on naps! I'm sure once she switches to full time naps will improve. Any other questions please let me know!

I wouldn't even address the gun part but if you want to just keep it simple, as in " no guns in the home!"
But anyways that's just my suggestion I always write way too much and end up confusing parents so I try to keep things as short as possible now. If they break another policy, don't give them warnings, second chances etc. Just explain that this is what they agreed to by signing your contract.
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Unregistered 05:29 PM 09-01-2015
Just wanted to let you guys know what happened. I sent the first email I wrote (before I got your feedback sorry) and they responded with we know you do a great job and are doing your best. They came in with supplies, a completed contract, a check for last friday and tuition due. DCG slept for 30 min yesterday after trying for 4 hours. Today she slept for 1 hr 40 after trying for 15 min! So success so far.
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