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Old 01-20-2021, 05:17 PM
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RockFairy RockFairy is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: Canada
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Default DCM Lied, I Termed, but I Still Feel Guilty

Hi, I'm new.

Long story short, after two straight weeks of blow out diarrheas, illness spread to the only two other children to make contact and about a hundred dollars' worth of carpets and foam mats that had to be thrown out I finally wrote a letter of termination.

The child was sent in pretty much decimated with illness last week after Mom had messaged to say they were just at the tail end of a cold. The child was sent home and told to isolate. Unfortunately, that moment of backbone quickly disappeared and when Mom messaged that night saying the child was 100% back to normal, I didn't enforce my 24 hour symptom free policy and said we could give it another try the next day.

My son is the only other child in the daycare right now and his Dad is working from home. So when the child returned the next day and started again with the diarrhea but no other symptoms, I sent my child to play with Dad and just secluded the other child in a space with me and some specific toys. I messaged the parents right away but all they could say was that was weird, the child was perfectly healthy at home.

This is the same message I got for the next two weeks as the blowouts and acidic-looking diarrhea burns continued on for this poor child. I made sure the formula was the exact same as at home and prepared the same way. I asked about foods and reactions in the past and there were none. According to Mom, even during the sick week the child had had absolutely no symptoms at home - not even the runny nose that had pretty much been pouring out constantly since the week before at my house.

As an aside, the baby is just 9 months old. Mom just returned to work from mat leave and this is their first experience with daycare. I have tons of experience so I was doing my best to help them along the way and make the transition as smooth and painless as possible for them.

I don't 100% believe mom that there are no symptoms at home, but without proof I've just had to take her word for it. So if she was telling the truth, that meant that there was something in our environment (in my home) that was causing these issues for the baby. That was the assumption that I was operating under as I researched what the possible issue could be. Until today. The child had an explosive liquid poop just half an hour after being dropped off. It was all over the baby, all over me and all over those two carpets I had to throw out. Then this afternoon my own son woke up with diarrhea in his diaper.

I have two new kids starting in two weeks. While it was just me with this child and the option to isolate my own, it wasn't such a big deal. I could continually monitor the one child, cater to their needs and run off to change, clean and redress them as needed. I could close off the poo-covered playroom and clean and sanitize it during their nap time and be ready to go again when they woke up. With 4 children, this would not be feasible. So when my own son woke up from his nap with diarrhea in his diaper, I pretty much snapped.

The diarrhea is not environmental. It's obviously viral and this is all the proof I need.

I wrote the letter and said the reason for termination was that (apparently) my home was not a match for the child health-wise. I wrote about every verbal communication, all the sickness, the blow outs, the pain and discomfort of the child, all the steps I'd taken to address possible causes but reiterated (twice) since "this is only happening at daycare" then it is obviously in the best interest of the child to not be at my daycare.

I gave one weeks' notice because the two other children start in 2 weeks and I can't risk their well being and, since it's "environmental" and not just "illness that would eventually pass", it would be irresponsible to continue to expose the child to whatever is causing their issues just for the sake of a contract. (My contract does state that 2 weeks' notice can be waved in the case of a health and safety issue).

I nearly chickened out at pickup today but managed to let Mom know that I had exhausted all of my options and that the only explanation was that the environment was not a good fit for her child. I told her that the note was in the child's bag and to take a look when she got home and let me know if there were any concerns. I don't know if she completely understood... her face looked like she got it but she said she'd keep an eye on the child and if they were sick this weekend, they'd stay home next week. I wanted to say it's too late for that now but I just said take a look at the letter and we can discuss it later.

THEN I chickened out, set my phone to do not disturb and now I'm freaking myself out staring at the email and text message icons.

I feel so guilty but also like I was taken advantage of at the same time. Dealing with adults is so freaking hard! I much prefer being able to ask "Is that the truth or are you trying to trick me?" and being able to get an honest answer 😔
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