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  #1  
Old 07-09-2015, 11:58 AM
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Saffren Saffren is offline
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Default Need advise with a parent incident please

I need some advise on how to deal with a situation I am having with a parent. I started a 6 week old baby beginning of June. Things were fine mom never had any issues with my level of care. Then on Tuesday July 7th she picks up and notifies me she will be terminating care as of Friday July 10. Her friend recently lost her job and the mom wanted to help her out by having her provide child care for the income. I then states I have a two week written notice policy and I would need payed for not giving me a notice. She then states she would not pay for the current week July 6-10, that I could use the deposit to cover this week. I then told her no that is not how it works. I offered to let her pay this week and next week then use the deposit for the last week. She refused and left. The next day Wednesday 07/08 she picked up 5:15pm and didn't say much and That evening I get a angry phone call at 6:30pm with mom telling me she is furious and upset with me. I calmly asked is everything OK, mom replied no, that upon arriving home she went to change her child's diaper and she stated that there was a quarter size amount of feces in her diaper and that this that caused the vaginal area swelling because the feces had gotten into the vaginal area.she also stated it was fresh looking and mixed with Urine and smashed into her vaginal area. ( to me that sounds fresh, not like it had been sitting all day) Mom stated that this is my fault and that I did not know how to properly clean a little girl and that she is taking pictures and she is going to now report this as a neglect and also she was going to take the pictures and go to her doctor. My response to mom was the daughters last diaper change was at 4:30 PM that mom picked up at 5:15 PM and during my diaper change at 4:30 pm I noted no redness or swelling or any type of diaper rash when I changed her and also explained I always wipe front to back, she then stated again that she was very upset and that she is taking pictures and reporting. She would not listen. So I just stated that I was sorry if her daughter had had a bowel movement between 430 and 5:15 pm and I was very sorry if I missed it do to being busy with other parents picking up and chatting with parents while going out the door, and if she had a bowel movement at that time I did not notice or smell it because I was holding the child the entire time during parent pick up and I would of noticed it. Mom then continue to accuse me of not knowing how to properly change a diaper and properly clean the area, she then got upset and told me that she will figure out what to do next and hung up.

I am at a loss on what is going on I don't feel like I missed anything I feel I properly changed a diaper at 4:30 pm and I document all my daily diaper changes so she can not say she wasn't changed all day and that caused the issue, I have been doing this for 17 years and never had anything like this happen. They were a no show today and when I tried calling I got no answer. I am not sure how to handle this or how to feel about the situation, it does not make sense to me at all. And Now I'm worried she is going to make a complaint of neglect, I feel she was upset with me over payment and came up with this story. Anyone have any advise on how to proceed with this situation? Thank you
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  #2  
Old 07-09-2015, 12:05 PM
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If you documented the diaper changes then you should be fine. Mom is OBVIOUSLY trying to find a way out of paying. Stick to your guns.
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Old 07-09-2015, 12:08 PM
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Just make sure all your documentation is up to date and don't worry too much.

Sounds like she is just pulling things out of the air to get out of paying you what she owes
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Old 07-09-2015, 12:08 PM
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Controlled Chaos Controlled Chaos is offline
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I am sorry you are going through this. Others probably have more detailed advice, but I would contact my licensing specialist and let her know what is happening, I would then type out a bill to email dcm alerting her to money owed, maybe include a copy of the handbook or contract with they pertinent parts high lighted. I might mention she has XX days to render payment before you send her to collections.

Good luck. I am sure you did everything right
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Old 07-09-2015, 12:17 PM
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Yep, it sure sounds like she is making an excuse to get out of paying and thinks threatening you with pictures and going to the doctor will make you scared enough not to pursue the $.

I would definitely contact your licensor and make sure it's all documented.

Even if you didn't notice the poop (which isn't true at all), parents do this kind of thing all the time. I can't tell you how many kids come back from the weekend coated with cream because they weren't changed as often as WE change them!!!

I don't think she has a leg to stand on, but her accusations could get worse- she's trying to intimidate you.

Make sure your licensor knows about this ASAP and you should be fine-'she never had an issue until she tried getting out of payment!
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  #6  
Old 07-09-2015, 12:20 PM
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MarinaVanessa MarinaVanessa is offline
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Start documenting everything that has happened since the day she gave you notice up until now.

5:15 pm to 6:30 pm is enough time for the baby to have had a #2 and gotten a rash. If you're licensed I'd call your analyst right away and self-report the incident with the parent.

I'd refuse care for the child and consider them terminated effective immediately, even though I doubt they'll come back. Brace yourself for an investigation from licensing. I doubt this qualifies for anything further than that (like with CPS). If you self-report it'll show licensing that you're not hiding anything and will coincide with the fact that DCM didn't want to pay after this week. I wouldn't refund any money.
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  #7  
Old 07-09-2015, 12:26 PM
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Man, people like that bug me to no end. I would follow all the previous advice and make sure you go after your money. Tack on late fees and pursue it to the end. If she wants to give grief, then dish it right back and let her know you won't be bullied into doing what she wants.
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Old 07-09-2015, 12:30 PM
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Ditto what the other said about calling your regulator.

Ditto what they said about the parent using this as a weapon.

I recently had a very similar situation, only I termed because the infant cried so much and mom basically didn't want to hear it. In my case, the parent wanted money BACK. I said no. She texted me that if I didn't return it (her non-refundable deposit), she'd call licensing. I said "do what you think it right, here's my licenser's name and number".

I called my licenser with a heads up (in fact, I was on the phone with her when I texted mom the info).

They came (licenser and another DCF collegue), they asked me questions regarding regulations (did I use safe sleep practices, did I attempt to notify mom that baby was distressed, what did I do to soothe baby, etc. In essence, did I follow regulations. Then, they asked to see my handbook (clearly stating that there were no refunds), and I showed them the texts.

It was honestly, a complete and utter waste of their time, and they more or less said so, but they have to investigate every complaint. I received a report a few days later that the investigation was concluded and unsubstantiated. It will not appear on my public dc records.
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  #9  
Old 07-09-2015, 12:31 PM
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ITA with everything everyone else has said.

Document everything that led up to the incident.

Contact your licensor and let her know what happened.

Send a bill to the mom and let her know that you still expect payment.

Good luck!!
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  #10  
Old 07-09-2015, 12:45 PM
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The diaper issue is a ploy on mom's part to get you to concede to her owing you money.

It has NOTHING to do with your level of care and EVERYTHING to do with her not paying you for the notice period.

Don't stress about it. Document everything, notify your licensor and let DCM know that you WILL be using whatever methods necessary to collect on the debt she owes you.

If she balks, just stay calm and remember that this is NOT a new tactic....it's been done a 1,000 times.....

Parent owes therefore, provider is somehow substandard....even though you were perfectly acceptable as a quality caregiver BEFORE money became an issue...
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  #11  
Old 07-09-2015, 12:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saffren View Post
I need some advise on how to deal with a situation I am having with a parent. I started a 6 week old baby beginning of June. Things were fine mom never had any issues with my level of care. Then on Tuesday July 7th she picks up and notifies me she will be terminating care as of Friday July 10. Her friend recently lost her job and the mom wanted to help her out by having her provide child care for the income. I then states I have a two week written notice policy and I would need payed for not giving me a notice. She then states she would not pay for the current week July 6-10, that I could use the deposit to cover this week. I then told her no that is not how it works. I offered to let her pay this week and next week then use the deposit for the last week. She refused and left. The next day Wednesday 07/08 she picked up 5:15pm and didn't say much and That evening I get a angry phone call at 6:30pm with mom telling me she is furious and upset with me. I calmly asked is everything OK, mom replied no, that upon arriving home she went to change her child's diaper and she stated that there was a quarter size amount of feces in her diaper and that this that caused the vaginal area swelling because the feces had gotten into the vaginal area.she also stated it was fresh looking and mixed with Urine and smashed into her vaginal area. ( to me that sounds fresh, not like it had been sitting all day) Mom stated that this is my fault and that I did not know how to properly clean a little girl and that she is taking pictures and she is going to now report this as a neglect and also she was going to take the pictures and go to her doctor. My response to mom was the daughters last diaper change was at 4:30 PM that mom picked up at 5:15 PM and during my diaper change at 4:30 pm I noted no redness or swelling or any type of diaper rash when I changed her and also explained I always wipe front to back, she then stated again that she was very upset and that she is taking pictures and reporting. She would not listen. So I just stated that I was sorry if her daughter had had a bowel movement between 430 and 5:15 pm and I was very sorry if I missed it do to being busy with other parents picking up and chatting with parents while going out the door, and if she had a bowel movement at that time I did not notice or smell it because I was holding the child the entire time during parent pick up and I would of noticed it. Mom then continue to accuse me of not knowing how to properly change a diaper and properly clean the area, she then got upset and told me that she will figure out what to do next and hung up.

I am at a loss on what is going on I don't feel like I missed anything I feel I properly changed a diaper at 4:30 pm and I document all my daily diaper changes so she can not say she wasn't changed all day and that caused the issue, I have been doing this for 17 years and never had anything like this happen. They were a no show today and when I tried calling I got no answer. I am not sure how to handle this or how to feel about the situation, it does not make sense to me at all. And Now I'm worried she is going to make a complaint of neglect, I feel she was upset with me over payment and came up with this story. Anyone have any advise on how to proceed with this situation? Thank you
I just want add that this is code for cheaper childcare. I am guessing her poor, unemployed friend will not be getting paid as much as she paid you.
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Old 07-09-2015, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
I just want add that this is code for cheaper childcare. I am guessing her poor, unemployed friend will not be getting paid as much as she paid you.
exactly!
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Old 07-09-2015, 01:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blackcat31 View Post
the diaper issue is a ploy on mom's part to get you to concede to her owing you money.

It has nothing to do with your level of care and everything to do with her not paying you for the notice period.

Don't stress about it. Document everything, notify your licensor and let dcm know that you will be using whatever methods necessary to collect on the debt she owes you.

If she balks, just stay calm and remember that this is not a new tactic....it's been done a 1,000 times.....

Parent owes therefore, provider is somehow substandard....even though you were perfectly acceptable as a quality caregiver before money became an issue...
ding! Ding! Ding!
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  #14  
Old 07-09-2015, 02:39 PM
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I agree with all the above. I feel bad for the friend who may end up feeling used in the end.
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  #15  
Old 07-09-2015, 03:26 PM
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ALL the above.

PLUS, send her a text that if 2 weeks advance notice is not paid tomorrow at drop off, please do not bring child. This is your policy, stick to it. If you take the child, and don't stick to it, she will win and you will feel terrible.
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  #16  
Old 07-09-2015, 04:20 PM
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KiddieCahoots KiddieCahoots is offline
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Just out of curiosity......what are the regs in your state on a person caring for a child that is unrelated? Do they need a license?

The reason I ask.....if you do need a license to care for children in your state, by making a call for an investigation, she could potentially be sabotaging her own child care plans by revealing that her friend will be caring for her child instead of a licensed provider, or......you could by adding that bit of information to the incident report, and even inform her of this.

Last edited by KiddieCahoots; 07-09-2015 at 04:30 PM. Reason: adding
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Old 07-10-2015, 05:12 AM
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Saffren Saffren is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots View Post
Just out of curiosity......what are the regs in your state on a person caring for a child that is unrelated? Do they need a license?

The reason I ask.....if you do need a license to care for children in your state, by making a call for an investigation, she could potentially be sabotaging her own child care plans by revealing that her friend will be caring for her child instead of a licensed provider, or......you could by adding that bit of information to the incident report, and even inform her of this.
In my state you can have 5 unrelated children in your home before you need to obtain a license. Which is another issue, I live in a small town and the competition is ridiculous due to this and they drive the rates down, people don't want to pay when they can go to a unlicensed home and pay $50-70 for the entire week full time to people who don't have to have the standards and requirement that licensed homes do.


Thank you everyone who has replied. I appreciate the comments and I have documented and done all I can do until I hear further. Thank you all who encouraged me to go ahead and still bill mom and not let her intimidate me. Thank you
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Old 07-10-2015, 06:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saffren View Post
In my state you can have 5 unrelated children in your home before you need to obtain a license. Which is another issue, I live in a small town and the competition is ridiculous due to this and they drive the rates down, people don't want to pay when they can go to a unlicensed home and pay $50-70 for the entire week full time to people who don't have to have the standards and requirement that licensed homes do.


Thank you everyone who has replied. I appreciate the comments and I have documented and done all I can do until I hear further. Thank you all who encouraged me to go ahead and still bill mom and not let her intimidate me. Thank you
You are wrong on #'s (look up the reg's)... you can only have 4 in Tennessee and be considered legally license exempt; once that 5th child starts you had better be licensed. I know I've done childcare here for 18 months now... Legally license exempt can also take subsidy and be on the food program.

BTW, some of us run just like a fully licensed home because of the vouchers & FP... heck you have to jump extra hoops in order to take a Foster child into care also. In my case because I do nothing but infants/toddlers under 2, I am limited to 4 kids regardless of being licensed or not just because of babies ages (it's in the state regs)
The state also doesn't reimburse License exempt near what they do licensed providers, maybe that's why legally unlicensed are taking 70 week... that's all I would get from the state if I took vouchers and I live in one the higher tier counties, but like you a smaller town... people around me are charging less than what I do, but yet I am full
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  #19  
Old 07-11-2015, 06:59 AM
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Wow these parents will stop at nothing. Yes, follow the advice of others on here, document, prepare for investigation. Parents will write things that are exaggerated, but experienced licensors know this too. They just want you to have a plan. In the meantime no longer accept her child if it is within your contract that you can term for ........ She sounds like she is fishing for a way not to pay you.

Kudos for sticking up for yourself and saying she has to pay you
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