Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Kids Who Think They Rule The Roost
TickleMonster 07:20 AM 06-17-2014
We run a very structured daycare here (as I'm sure everyone else on here does too) and have found that children behave much better when they know what is coming next on the to-do list. We also have strict rules that are explained plainly to the children and they know what happens if they break or bend the rules. Now, I know everyone has different parenting styles but there are some things I just don't understand and one of those is letting your child be the boss. A few examples include a 2 year old that comes at 7am with a popsicle because that's what she wanted for breakfast.
A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?
A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?
NightOwl 07:27 AM 06-17-2014
Omg YES. I find it irritating when dcps say "he wouldn't...", "she refused...", etc. I'm like, huh? Your child is 1/2/3/4 yrs old. They can't refuse to get dressed. They can throw a fit and scream and yell, but they can't refuse. YOU'RE the parent. Despite the fit, you dress him appropriately anyway or put him to bed anyway or say no to the candy/Popsicles.
Blackcat31 07:33 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by TickleMonster:
We run a very structured daycare here (as I'm sure everyone else on here does too) and have found that children behave much better when they know what is coming next on the to-do list. We also have strict rules that are explained plainly to the children and they know what happens if they break or bend the rules. Now, I know everyone has different parenting styles but there are some things I just don't understand and one of those is letting your child be the boss. A few examples include a 2 year old that comes at 7am with a popsicle because that's what she wanted for breakfast. A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?
It seems that is the general parenting style now days for some parents. We run a very structured daycare here (as I'm sure everyone else on here does too) and have found that children behave much better when they know what is coming next on the to-do list. We also have strict rules that are explained plainly to the children and they know what happens if they break or bend the rules. Now, I know everyone has different parenting styles but there are some things I just don't understand and one of those is letting your child be the boss. A few examples include a 2 year old that comes at 7am with a popsicle because that's what she wanted for breakfast.
A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?It doesn't bother me because I don't allow that in my program.
Parents can parent how ever they wish to at home and if permissive parenting works for them...great.
As for me.. I have specific expectations for both parents and children I enroll and as long as they adhere to those expectations, it's all good.
(here anyways
)
Shell 07:38 AM 06-17-2014
I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.
KiddieCahoots 07:45 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Shell:
I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.
I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.
...I agreeThen the child gets used to acting this way, and before you know it, the child is fully in charge and ruling the roost!
I swear some of the parents know this is what can make or break our Monday's, getting the children back into the routine.
Have a 7month old that dcm insists can't get down for a nap. This has been since birth. Dcb sleeps fine here.
TickleMonster 07:46 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Omg YES. I find it irritating when dcps say "he wouldn't...", "she refused...", etc. I'm like, huh? Your child is 1/2/3/4 yrs old. They can't refuse to get dressed. They can throw a fit and scream and yell, but they can't refuse. YOU'RE the parent. Despite the fit, you dress him appropriately anyway or put him to bed anyway or say no to the candy/Popsicles.
Exactly my thoughts Omg YES. I find it irritating when dcps say "he wouldn't...", "she refused...", etc. I'm like, huh? Your child is 1/2/3/4 yrs old. They can't refuse to get dressed. They can throw a fit and scream and yell, but they can't refuse. YOU'RE the parent. Despite the fit, you dress him appropriately anyway or put him to bed anyway or say no to the candy/Popsicles.
TickleMonster 08:06 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
...I agree
Then the child gets used to acting this way, and before you know it, the child is fully in charge and ruling the roost!
I swear some of the parents know this is what can make or break our Monday's, getting the children back into the routine.
Have a 7month old that dcm insists can't get down for a nap. This has been since birth. Dcb sleeps fine here.
Been there done that we had a dcb from 6 months Premi at that the dcp said he wouldn't nap if napped it was only for 20 or 30 minutes the first day here he napped for 3 hours and did great here...I agreeThen the child gets used to acting this way, and before you know it, the child is fully in charge and ruling the roost!
I swear some of the parents know this is what can make or break our Monday's, getting the children back into the routine.
Have a 7month old that dcm insists can't get down for a nap. This has been since birth. Dcb sleeps fine here.
TickleMonster 08:09 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Shell:
I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.
The 3 yr old we have here has joint parenting so this is probably the main reason she gets away with it.I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.
debbiedoeszip 08:20 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by TickleMonster:
We run a very structured daycare here (as I'm sure everyone else on here does too) and have found that children behave much better when they know what is coming next on the to-do list. We also have strict rules that are explained plainly to the children and they know what happens if they break or bend the rules. Now, I know everyone has different parenting styles but there are some things I just don't understand and one of those is letting your child be the boss. A few examples include a 2 year old that comes at 7am with a popsicle because that's what she wanted for breakfast. A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?
The only thing that I would object to are the high heel shoes as they wouldn't allow the child to play. The rest, though, I would simply point out that I'm not going to be responsible for dirty or damaged costumes/tutus and that bringing a child to daycare in anything other than play clothes is at their own risk. IOW, the costume will be dirt-stained and the tutus will likely be ripped to shreds by the end of the day and I don't care. Too bad, so sad for the parents.We run a very structured daycare here (as I'm sure everyone else on here does too) and have found that children behave much better when they know what is coming next on the to-do list. We also have strict rules that are explained plainly to the children and they know what happens if they break or bend the rules. Now, I know everyone has different parenting styles but there are some things I just don't understand and one of those is letting your child be the boss. A few examples include a 2 year old that comes at 7am with a popsicle because that's what she wanted for breakfast.
A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?
Unregistered 08:36 AM 06-17-2014
I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.
debbiedoeszip 08:53 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.
From my perspective, it's just a difference in parenting philosophy, and you as the parent have every right to choose that philosophy even if it's vastly different from my own (the provider's). I will still run my program the way I want (with kids going outside to play wearing what they came dressed in), and I won't be putting any energy or thought into keeping one's child clean or the clothing clean, but I won't judge a parent for allowing their child to choose their own clothing. I would draw the line if the clothing was seriously wrong for the weather (sweatshirt on the hottest day of the year, shorts in January, etc), but otherwise I'm good with it.I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.
Indoorvoice 08:54 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.
No disrespect here - I'm a fairly new member and do not post much - But I just urge you to think hard about how this might affect your child in the future when he goes to school, college, and later his career, and it is not acceptable for him to do whatever he wants. How hard is it going to be for him to adjust? Just a thought. I understand everyone's parenting styles are different, but sometimes when we are trying to do the best for our child and give them everything he/she wants, we are actually not doing our job to prepare them for the "real" world and that could be detrimental.I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.
NoMoreJuice! 09:09 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher.
I rarely get fired up angry when I read posts on here, but that is just DISRESPECTFUL! How dare you shove your parenting duties off on a teacher who may have more than two dozen other students to take care of? You are the kind of parent that should never have had children. Have fun in la la land when your kid is still living with you at age 35.If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher.
Kimskiddos 09:32 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.
All I can think is what are his choices going to be when he is a teenager? Of course he will have to have the latest/best phones, clothes and a car. With him making all the decisions and always in control, it is just scary to think about his decisions when he is in the crazy hormonal stage that are the teen years! Hopefully he doesn't hurt himself or worse someone else.I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.
Unregistered 10:27 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
I rarely get fired up angry when I read posts on here, but that is just DISRESPECTFUL! How dare you shove your parenting duties off on a teacher who may have more than two dozen other students to take care of? You are the kind of parent that should never have had children. Have fun in la la land when your kid is still living with you at age 35.
Well he goes to private school and he is one of 14 kids in his class. She can handle him just fine. His teacher adores him. You assume because he is in charge that he is a wild beast which is not the case. He is a normal energetic 7 year old boy. As for living at home when he is 35 I would have no problem with that. I enjoy his company. However financially he won't need to do that as he will easily be able to purchase his dream home if he desires when he turns 25.I rarely get fired up angry when I read posts on here, but that is just DISRESPECTFUL! How dare you shove your parenting duties off on a teacher who may have more than two dozen other students to take care of? You are the kind of parent that should never have had children. Have fun in la la land when your kid is still living with you at age 35.
Unregistered 10:32 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Kimskiddos:
All I can think is what are his choices going to be when he is a teenager? Of course he will have to have the latest/best phones, clothes and a car. With him making all the decisions and always in control, it is just scary to think about his decisions when he is in the crazy hormonal stage that are the teen years! Hopefully he doesn't hurt himself or worse someone else.
Most parents I know try to buy the best they can afford for their children so yes he does get the latest electronics, travels a lot, my parents bought me a new sports car the day I got my license and I will buy him a new vehicle when he starts to drive as well.All I can think is what are his choices going to be when he is a teenager? Of course he will have to have the latest/best phones, clothes and a car. With him making all the decisions and always in control, it is just scary to think about his decisions when he is in the crazy hormonal stage that are the teen years! Hopefully he doesn't hurt himself or worse someone else.
craftymissbeth 10:52 AM 06-17-2014
SignMeUp 10:54 AM 06-17-2014
Personally, I'm checking for bridges
daycarediva 11:00 AM 06-17-2014
I gotta believe this is just a troll. I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole!
If it IS true, I sincerely feel bad for the child, being raised with that level of entitlement is a handicap in the real world.
If it IS true, I sincerely feel bad for the child, being raised with that level of entitlement is a handicap in the real world.
Blackcat31 11:01 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I gotta believe this is just a troll. I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole!
If it IS true, I sincerely feel bad for the child, being raised with that level of entitlement is a handicap in the real world.
I gotta believe this is just a troll. I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole!
If it IS true, I sincerely feel bad for the child, being raised with that level of entitlement is a handicap in the real world.
Entitled children, always suffer from alienation, lack of trust and restless unhappiness. They are forever striving for the next free thing, but never feeling satisfied; it’s like expensive charity events where wealthy celebrities relish the gift bag, as if they actually need more swag. Doesn’t this suggest a poverty of spirit that is forever hungry for more free stuff, but cannot be filled because the vessel of the self is a colander as opposed to a bowl?
http://privilegeofparenting.com/2009...ntitled-child/
daycarediva 11:04 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Entitled children, always suffer from alienation, lack of trust and restless unhappiness. They are forever striving for the next free thing, but never feeling satisfied; it’s like expensive charity events where wealthy celebrities relish the gift bag, as if they actually need more swag. Doesn’t this suggest a poverty of spirit that is forever hungry for more free stuff, but cannot be filled because the vessel of the self is a colander as opposed to a bowl?
http://privilegeofparenting.com/2009...ntitled-child/
Entitled children, always suffer from alienation, lack of trust and restless unhappiness. They are forever striving for the next free thing, but never feeling satisfied; it’s like expensive charity events where wealthy celebrities relish the gift bag, as if they actually need more swag. Doesn’t this suggest a poverty of spirit that is forever hungry for more free stuff, but cannot be filled because the vessel of the self is a colander as opposed to a bowl?
http://privilegeofparenting.com/2009...ntitled-child/
mamamanda 11:06 AM 06-17-2014
Every parent has the right to raise their child as they see fit. I would not want someone telling me how to raise my child. At the same time, from a provider's point of view, which is what this particular forum is geared toward, you cannot keep 12 children safe and healthy without rules and order in place. It is not at all about taking away a child's freedom of choice or stunting their individuality. It is about teaching them to make wise choices and to express themselves in a safe and respectful way. My son is involved in a lot of the decision making in our home. I said he is involved, I didn't say he makes the final decision. When we take a vacation, we discuss as a family where we would enjoy going. Mommy & daddy take his opinions to heart, but then we make the best decision for our family considering time restraints, finances, etc. When he gets dressed in the morning I point out what the weather is like. I tell him if he will need shorts vs. pants, etc, but then he goes and chooses the outfit he likes that meets with our expectations. He often chooses what meal he would like for dinner, but he chooses from a list of healthy options I have given him because I want him to be a healthy individual. There are ways to allow freedom of expression without handing over your responsibilities as a parent which are to keep your child safe, teach them right from wrong, etc.
All that being said, when our children enter the work force they will be required to abide by certain rules and regulations. When they enter school they will be required to follow the rules and behave in an orderly way. And when they are in daycare, they must follow certain rules and behave themselves as well. There would be no other way for providers to keep them safe, or to maintain our sanity, without some sort of structure. And it would help us child care providers out tremendously if parents would teach their children that the word no does mean no because when a child is allowed to tear things up at will when they are home and then gets in trouble for tearing up toys, or other children's things here at daycare, it is really confusing for the child. Just my long winded 2 cents worth.
And based on my parenting views, it does seem funny to me when a dcm says something like, "I just don't know how you get dcb to sit his seat during dinner time. He would scream like crazy if I tried that at home." Lol He is 2. Sit him down and tell him to stay. If he gets up, take away his food. That works for us here.
All that being said, when our children enter the work force they will be required to abide by certain rules and regulations. When they enter school they will be required to follow the rules and behave in an orderly way. And when they are in daycare, they must follow certain rules and behave themselves as well. There would be no other way for providers to keep them safe, or to maintain our sanity, without some sort of structure. And it would help us child care providers out tremendously if parents would teach their children that the word no does mean no because when a child is allowed to tear things up at will when they are home and then gets in trouble for tearing up toys, or other children's things here at daycare, it is really confusing for the child. Just my long winded 2 cents worth.
And based on my parenting views, it does seem funny to me when a dcm says something like, "I just don't know how you get dcb to sit his seat during dinner time. He would scream like crazy if I tried that at home." Lol He is 2. Sit him down and tell him to stay. If he gets up, take away his food. That works for us here.
daycarediva 11:06 AM 06-17-2014
---side note--- I feel bad for whoever dates/marries people raised this way! Can you imagine having NO say in food, activities, vacations, or a husband who pouts and throws a fit when he doesn't get his way!? EW!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEPoO08IMog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEPoO08IMog
mamamanda 11:11 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Entitled children, always suffer from alienation, lack of trust and restless unhappiness. They are forever striving for the next free thing, but never feeling satisfied; it’s like expensive charity events where wealthy celebrities relish the gift bag, as if they actually need more swag. Doesn’t this suggest a poverty of spirit that is forever hungry for more free stuff, but cannot be filled because the vessel of the self is a colander as opposed to a bowl?
http://privilegeofparenting.com/2009...ntitled-child/
Agreed Entitled children, always suffer from alienation, lack of trust and restless unhappiness. They are forever striving for the next free thing, but never feeling satisfied; it’s like expensive charity events where wealthy celebrities relish the gift bag, as if they actually need more swag. Doesn’t this suggest a poverty of spirit that is forever hungry for more free stuff, but cannot be filled because the vessel of the self is a colander as opposed to a bowl?
http://privilegeofparenting.com/2009...ntitled-child/
taylorw1210 11:19 AM 06-17-2014
I smell a troll. 
Back on topic: One of my DCM's texted me in the morning before drop off saying, "SoandSo is wearing a really nice baseball jersey today because he refused to wear anything else - could you please make sure he does not get it dirty and take it off before he eats?"
My response was, "You should tell Soandso that wearing nice clothes to daycare is not a good idea..."
I did not remove the jersey once during the day and it did go home dirty.
Back on topic: One of my DCM's texted me in the morning before drop off saying, "SoandSo is wearing a really nice baseball jersey today because he refused to wear anything else - could you please make sure he does not get it dirty and take it off before he eats?"
My response was, "You should tell Soandso that wearing nice clothes to daycare is not a good idea..."
I did not remove the jersey once during the day and it did go home dirty.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:21 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
I rarely get fired up angry when I read posts on here, but that is just DISRESPECTFUL! How dare you shove your parenting duties off on a teacher who may have more than two dozen other students to take care of? You are the kind of parent that should never have had children. Have fun in la la land when your kid is still living with you at age 35.
I agree. Your child's teacher really doesn't care if they excel to their highest potential. If you are allowing him to say no to hw then that is on you. What happens when he says no to doing chores at home? What will he do in real life...because who REALLY wants to do chores? What happens when he says no to his boss? People don't agree with everything another says as is VERY clear here.I rarely get fired up angry when I read posts on here, but that is just DISRESPECTFUL! How dare you shove your parenting duties off on a teacher who may have more than two dozen other students to take care of? You are the kind of parent that should never have had children. Have fun in la la land when your kid is still living with you at age 35.
I am horrified.
permanentvacation 11:23 AM 06-17-2014
I have had A LOT of kids like this in the past couple of years since I have moved to this lower income area. A lot of the parents in my area obviously do not want to be bothered by their children, so they do whatever makes the child shut up. That's how I see it anyway.
If I'm standing here telling a parent that their child was horrible all day, mean to everyone, and refused to eat lunch, if the child stands there whining at their parent for candy (that they know is in the parent's purse), the mother fusses with the child for a second, the kid demands his desire for the candy, so the mother gives the kid the candy. I just stand there like And realize immediately why I will never get anywhere with that child or his parents.
This happens with everything; going to McDonalds, playing with parents keys, playing with parents cell phone, YELLING to talk to the parents about absolutely nothing; just being rude while the adults are tying to talk, etc. And of course the children don't ask politely for anything! They DEMAND their desires to their parents and if they aren't immediately told, "yes, honey, you may get what you want", they just yell their demands louder! If my child ever talked to me the way these kids talk to their parents now, I'd have smacked their lips right off their face!
Maybe that's why my parents don't do anything with their kids. They just go home and tell their kids to go play by themselves in the house.
If I'm standing here telling a parent that their child was horrible all day, mean to everyone, and refused to eat lunch, if the child stands there whining at their parent for candy (that they know is in the parent's purse), the mother fusses with the child for a second, the kid demands his desire for the candy, so the mother gives the kid the candy. I just stand there like
And realize immediately why I will never get anywhere with that child or his parents.This happens with everything; going to McDonalds, playing with parents keys, playing with parents cell phone, YELLING to talk to the parents about absolutely nothing; just being rude while the adults are tying to talk, etc. And of course the children don't ask politely for anything! They DEMAND their desires to their parents and if they aren't immediately told, "yes, honey, you may get what you want", they just yell their demands louder! If my child ever talked to me the way these kids talk to their parents now, I'd have smacked their lips right off their face!
Maybe that's why my parents don't do anything with their kids. They just go home and tell their kids to go play by themselves in the house.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:25 AM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by taylorw1210:
I smell a troll.
Back on topic: One of my DCM's texted me in the morning before drop off saying, "SoandSo is wearing a really nice baseball jersey today because he refused to wear anything else - could you please make sure he does not get it dirty and take it off before he eats?"
My response was, "You should tell Soandso that wearing nice clothes to daycare is not a good idea..."
I did not remove the jersey once during the day and it did go home dirty.
I had one send her child in a white shirt and they were going to go take family pics after...but if he got it dirty she would just go buy a new one. Peculiar.I smell a troll.
Back on topic: One of my DCM's texted me in the morning before drop off saying, "SoandSo is wearing a really nice baseball jersey today because he refused to wear anything else - could you please make sure he does not get it dirty and take it off before he eats?"
My response was, "You should tell Soandso that wearing nice clothes to daycare is not a good idea..."
I did not remove the jersey once during the day and it did go home dirty.
permanentvacation 11:36 AM 06-17-2014
I just read through the posts and saw where it says entitled children, always suffer from alienation, lack of trust and restless unhappiness. That pretty much describes the majority of the children's home lives that I have gotten since I moved to this lower income area. The majority of the parents here do not spend time with their children, don't want to be bothered with their kids, tell their child they will get/have something later that, if they think the child will forget about, don't really give to the child, don't have one or the other parent in their lives, watch their parents argue and fight often, etc.
KiddieCahoots 12:58 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Most parents I know try to buy the best they can afford for their children so yes he does get the latest electronics, travels a lot, my parents bought me a new sports car the day I got my license and I will buy him a new vehicle when he starts to drive as well.
Let me guess.....he calls you (in a British accent) mummaaa.....Most parents I know try to buy the best they can afford for their children so yes he does get the latest electronics, travels a lot, my parents bought me a new sports car the day I got my license and I will buy him a new vehicle when he starts to drive as well.
...
NightOwl 01:31 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well he goes to private school and he is one of 14 kids in his class. She can handle him just fine. His teacher adores him. You assume because he is in charge that he is a wild beast which is not the case. He is a normal energetic 7 year old boy. As for living at home when he is 35 I would have no problem with that. I enjoy his company. However financially he won't need to do that as he will easily be able to purchase his dream home if he desires when he turns 25.
He's 7 and "he's in charge"?? And you wouldn't mind him living at home at 35 because you "enjoy his company"? Who else thinks this sounds like a Norma and Norman Bates dynamic??Well he goes to private school and he is one of 14 kids in his class. She can handle him just fine. His teacher adores him. You assume because he is in charge that he is a wild beast which is not the case. He is a normal energetic 7 year old boy. As for living at home when he is 35 I would have no problem with that. I enjoy his company. However financially he won't need to do that as he will easily be able to purchase his dream home if he desires when he turns 25.
I find this sad. It sounds to me like you are allowing this to go on in your household because you are trying to be your son's friend in the hopes that he won't leave you one day when he, oh I don't know, grows up.
KiddieCahoots 01:53 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
He's 7 and "he's in charge"?? And you wouldn't mind him living at home at 35 because you "enjoy his company"? Who else thinks this sounds like a Norma and Norman Bates dynamic??
I find this sad. It sounds to me like you are allowing this to go on in your household because you are trying to be your son's friend in the hopes that he won't leave you one day when he, oh I don't know, grows up.
He's 7 and "he's in charge"?? And you wouldn't mind him living at home at 35 because you "enjoy his company"? Who else thinks this sounds like a Norma and Norman Bates dynamic??
I find this sad. It sounds to me like you are allowing this to go on in your household because you are trying to be your son's friend in the hopes that he won't leave you one day when he, oh I don't know, grows up.
........Sadly.....I can vouch to that comment!
My dh lived with his parents til he was 50!
The transition for him was easy, for his mother......put it this way, we don't talk.....ever!
spinnymarie 02:14 PM 06-17-2014
I'm going to answer the OP and ignore what's happened since:
I have one little girl who is very sweet here. Perfectly typical, adapts easily, if she is in the throes of terrible twos it's hard to tell outside of a few minutes each day.
One morning her dad came to pick her up and said, "I don't know how you get her to take off her shoes! She never wants to take her shoes off at home, so we just wait until she's asleep. For a while she never took off her shoes or her coat! And if we waited until she was asleep, she would wake up!"
OMG these parents left this girl's shoes AND coat on for days at a time because 'she didn't WANT to take them off'!
LOL. I don't remember what I said, I do know I just told her to take them off and when she cried about it I told her we don't wear shoes here and told her to go play!
I have one little girl who is very sweet here. Perfectly typical, adapts easily, if she is in the throes of terrible twos it's hard to tell outside of a few minutes each day.
One morning her dad came to pick her up and said, "I don't know how you get her to take off her shoes! She never wants to take her shoes off at home, so we just wait until she's asleep. For a while she never took off her shoes or her coat! And if we waited until she was asleep, she would wake up!"
OMG these parents left this girl's shoes AND coat on for days at a time because 'she didn't WANT to take them off'!
LOL. I don't remember what I said, I do know I just told her to take them off and when she cried about it I told her we don't wear shoes here and told her to go play!
craftymissbeth 03:03 PM 06-17-2014
I have a 2 yo dcg and dcd at drop-off and dcm at pick-up today BOTH said that they're amazed that I haven't kicked her out of daycare yet 
They said she's mean to dcm and just will not listen. I just told them I'm pretty consistent with what I expect from the kids and they all do a great job of living up to my expectations
They said she's mean to dcm and just will not listen. I just told them I'm pretty consistent with what I expect from the kids and they all do a great job of living up to my expectations
TickleMonster 03:04 PM 06-17-2014
Needless to say I am a bit horrified myself at a parent who would allow their child to make all the decisions. But to each their own I guess. When it comes to my own children, I do ask their opinions on things and make sure they know that their input is important but I am the parent and I have the final word. As for our dcks, they know the rules here and are usually good about following them. All in all, of course all parents can raise their children as they see fit. What is irritating to me is when a lax parent (such as letting a child stay up until midnight every night) affects all of us here at dc.
KiddieCahoots 03:12 PM 06-17-2014
Had a dcg 2.5 that ruled the roost, come back from a week vacation from Florida to visit Disney, with both feet peeling profusely. It was disgusting!
Turns out, dcg liked the hotel pool so much, that was all dcg would allow them to do while there.
This was a trip taken when pool weather was happening here too!
Turns out, dcg liked the hotel pool so much, that was all dcg would allow them to do while there.
This was a trip taken when pool weather was happening here too!
NightOwl 03:15 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
........
Sadly.....I can vouch to that comment!
My dh lived with his parents til he was 50!
The transition for him was easy, for his mother......put it this way, we don't talk.....ever!
Because you were that horrible girl who stole her sweet baby away, right? Lol. Bates............Sadly.....I can vouch to that comment!
My dh lived with his parents til he was 50!
The transition for him was easy, for his mother......put it this way, we don't talk.....ever!
KiddieCahoots 03:26 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Because you were that horrible girl who stole her sweet baby away, right? Lol. Bates....
Bingo! Because you were that horrible girl who stole her sweet baby away, right? Lol. Bates....
....The fight she put up.....even after some time, suggested he move back in with her and bring our infant son!? Bates, indeed! Lol!
SignMeUp 03:41 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Doesn’t this suggest a poverty of spirit that is forever hungry for more free stuff, but cannot be filled because the vessel of the self is a colander as opposed to a bowl?
That is good. Love it. I want the poster Doesn’t this suggest a poverty of spirit that is forever hungry for more free stuff, but cannot be filled because the vessel of the self is a colander as opposed to a bowl?
SignMeUp 03:46 PM 06-17-2014
I have also seen 'these parents' and the resulting children. But I have to say, here it is not income-related at all. Across the spectrum, I'd say
craftymissbeth 03:49 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by SignMeUp:
I have also seen 'these parents' and the resulting children. But I have to say, here it is not income-related at all. Across the spectrum, I'd say
It isn't here, either. Although, I do find that the wealthier the family the more likely it's due to wanting their child to be super "special"... and the lower income the family the more likely it's due to just being lazy and not wanting to deal with the tantrums.I have also seen 'these parents' and the resulting children. But I have to say, here it is not income-related at all. Across the spectrum, I'd say
Not sure why that's my perspective, but it is what it is.
KiddieCahoots 03:54 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
It isn't here, either. Although, I do find that the wealthier the family the more likely it's due to wanting their child to be super "special"... and the lower income the family the more likely it's due to just being lazy and not wanting to deal with the tantrums.
Not sure why that's my perspective, but it is what it is.
Maybe it's because the wealthy appease and support the inappropriate with items of monetary value.It isn't here, either. Although, I do find that the wealthier the family the more likely it's due to wanting their child to be super "special"... and the lower income the family the more likely it's due to just being lazy and not wanting to deal with the tantrums.
Not sure why that's my perspective, but it is what it is.
Lower income are too tired from having to work multiple jobs to keep afloat, and let the inappropriate slide.
craftymissbeth 03:58 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Maybe it's because the wealthy appease and support the inappropriate with items of monetary value.
Lower income are too tired from having to work multiple jobs to keep afloat, and let the inappropriate slide.
Very good points. I wasn't trying to judge in any way regarding family income... I think treating your child like that is just wrong regardless of the reason why Maybe it's because the wealthy appease and support the inappropriate with items of monetary value.
Lower income are too tired from having to work multiple jobs to keep afloat, and let the inappropriate slide.
SignMeUp 04:05 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Maybe it's because the wealthy appease and support the inappropriate with items of monetary value.
Lower income are too tired from having to work multiple jobs to keep afloat, and let the inappropriate slide.
Very interesting points. Maybe it's because the wealthy appease and support the inappropriate with items of monetary value.
Lower income are too tired from having to work multiple jobs to keep afloat, and let the inappropriate slide.
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
Very good points. I wasn't trying to judge in any way regarding family income... I think treating your child like that is just wrong regardless of the reason why
I so agree Very good points. I wasn't trying to judge in any way regarding family income... I think treating your child like that is just wrong regardless of the reason why
midaycare 04:58 PM 06-17-2014
Not feeding the troll ...
I do not have kids like that, thankfully, but I know them. I see a lot of them that are teens, too. If I did have kids like that, they would not last here long. I have zero tolerance for that.
I do not have kids like that, thankfully, but I know them. I see a lot of them that are teens, too. If I did have kids like that, they would not last here long. I have zero tolerance for that.
midaycare 05:01 PM 06-17-2014
Oh, and when my son is 25, he probably won't be able to buy his dream house. But he will be a self respecting, kind, smart, funny, generous, MAN.
At 35 he had best be out of the house. I don't need him accidentally walking in on me naked when I'm 65. It's traumatic enough for the poor boy now.
Okay, so I did feed the troll.
At 35 he had best be out of the house. I don't need him accidentally walking in on me naked when I'm 65. It's traumatic enough for the poor boy now.
Okay, so I did feed the troll.
nannyde 07:31 PM 06-17-2014
Originally Posted by Shell:
I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.
I don't think it is guilt. I think they don't want the kid to cry. I think guilt is actually very very rare in parenting.I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.
SunshineMama 06:17 AM 06-18-2014
My husbands family came from a 3rd world country. They worked hard, became a doctor and a nurse, and moved to the US. Because they had nothing growing up, they bought their oldest (dh is 1 of 5) everything. New clothes, cars, etc. Wrecked a car? No problem, here's another... Wrecked that one? Okay, have a BMW.
He ended up on drugs in high school, was overindulged, and never happy. At age 26, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He is still living with , and fully supported by mom (parents divorced) at 39.
DH somehow got middle child syndrome and wasn't given as much, so we don't have those issues with him.
His younger brother however, is on the same path. Car wrecking, drugs and all. He's 26, and living with mom. I also see antisocial tendencies in him, and wouldn't be surprised at all if he was given a schizophrenia diagnosis at some point as well.
Overindulgence ruins people. At what point, in the community of our earth, is any single person ever more important than another? While I really don't enjoy doing daycare, part of me is glad that my children are growing up in a group where they are learning social skills, and learning that their wills and desires don't supercede others'. It's one of the benefits, I suppose.
What a shame to allow someone so young such little guidance. A popcicle for breakfast? Sure, my kids want that too. And I say, "I know you want a popcicle for breakfast. Popcicles are yummy. But you want to be big and strong, right? We need to make healthy choices for our bodies, even though its hard. Sometimes, mommy has to teach you about those. Would you prefer a yogurt or some berries?" And yes, I talk to my 1 year old like that too. If you do it from birth, you are teaching. It takes time and isn't always well received. But that's what parenting is all about. It is our job to teach children. If you let them rule the roost, you are doing them and the world a huge disservice.
Sorry for the long post-I get so irritated by this topic.
He ended up on drugs in high school, was overindulged, and never happy. At age 26, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He is still living with , and fully supported by mom (parents divorced) at 39.
DH somehow got middle child syndrome and wasn't given as much, so we don't have those issues with him.
His younger brother however, is on the same path. Car wrecking, drugs and all. He's 26, and living with mom. I also see antisocial tendencies in him, and wouldn't be surprised at all if he was given a schizophrenia diagnosis at some point as well.
Overindulgence ruins people. At what point, in the community of our earth, is any single person ever more important than another? While I really don't enjoy doing daycare, part of me is glad that my children are growing up in a group where they are learning social skills, and learning that their wills and desires don't supercede others'. It's one of the benefits, I suppose.
What a shame to allow someone so young such little guidance. A popcicle for breakfast? Sure, my kids want that too. And I say, "I know you want a popcicle for breakfast. Popcicles are yummy. But you want to be big and strong, right? We need to make healthy choices for our bodies, even though its hard. Sometimes, mommy has to teach you about those. Would you prefer a yogurt or some berries?" And yes, I talk to my 1 year old like that too. If you do it from birth, you are teaching. It takes time and isn't always well received. But that's what parenting is all about. It is our job to teach children. If you let them rule the roost, you are doing them and the world a huge disservice.
Sorry for the long post-I get so irritated by this topic.
KiddieCahoots 07:31 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
My husbands family came from a 3rd world country. They worked hard, became a doctor and a nurse, and moved to the US. Because they had nothing growing up, they bought their oldest (dh is 1 of 5) everything. New clothes, cars, etc. Wrecked a car? No problem, here's another... Wrecked that one? Okay, have a BMW.
He ended up on drugs in high school, was overindulged, and never happy. At age 26, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He is still living with , and fully supported by mom (parents divorced) at 39.
DH somehow got middle child syndrome and wasn't given as much, so we don't have those issues with him.
His younger brother however, is on the same path. Car wrecking, drugs and all. He's 26, and living with mom. I also see antisocial tendencies in him, and wouldn't be surprised at all if he was given a schizophrenia diagnosis at some point as well.
Overindulgence ruins people. At what point, in the community of our earth, is any single person ever more important than another? While I really don't enjoy doing daycare, part of me is glad that my children are growing up in a group where they are learning social skills, and learning that their wills and desires don't supercede others'. It's one of the benefits, I suppose.
What a shame to allow someone so young such little guidance. A popcicle for breakfast? Sure, my kids want that too. And I say, "I know you want a popcicle for breakfast. Popcicles are yummy. But you want to be big and strong, right? We need to make healthy choices for our bodies, even though its hard. Sometimes, mommy has to teach you about those. Would you prefer a yogurt or some berries?" And yes, I talk to my 1 year old like that too. If you do it from birth, you are teaching. It takes time and isn't always well received. But that's what parenting is all about. It is our job to teach children. If you let them rule the roost, you are doing them and the world a huge disservice.
Sorry for the long post-I get so irritated by this topic.
My husbands family came from a 3rd world country. They worked hard, became a doctor and a nurse, and moved to the US. Because they had nothing growing up, they bought their oldest (dh is 1 of 5) everything. New clothes, cars, etc. Wrecked a car? No problem, here's another... Wrecked that one? Okay, have a BMW.
He ended up on drugs in high school, was overindulged, and never happy. At age 26, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He is still living with , and fully supported by mom (parents divorced) at 39.
DH somehow got middle child syndrome and wasn't given as much, so we don't have those issues with him.
His younger brother however, is on the same path. Car wrecking, drugs and all. He's 26, and living with mom. I also see antisocial tendencies in him, and wouldn't be surprised at all if he was given a schizophrenia diagnosis at some point as well.
Overindulgence ruins people. At what point, in the community of our earth, is any single person ever more important than another? While I really don't enjoy doing daycare, part of me is glad that my children are growing up in a group where they are learning social skills, and learning that their wills and desires don't supercede others'. It's one of the benefits, I suppose.
What a shame to allow someone so young such little guidance. A popcicle for breakfast? Sure, my kids want that too. And I say, "I know you want a popcicle for breakfast. Popcicles are yummy. But you want to be big and strong, right? We need to make healthy choices for our bodies, even though its hard. Sometimes, mommy has to teach you about those. Would you prefer a yogurt or some berries?" And yes, I talk to my 1 year old like that too. If you do it from birth, you are teaching. It takes time and isn't always well received. But that's what parenting is all about. It is our job to teach children. If you let them rule the roost, you are doing them and the world a huge disservice.
Sorry for the long post-I get so irritated by this topic.
.....I agreeMy roost ruler that I keep posting about dcg2.5....dcp's were just ridiculous, and completely unrealistic.
Dcp's would expect me to keep the other children from behaving in an inappropriate manner, but wanted special treatment for their daughter.
For example; throwing sand in friends eyes, they wanted endless opportunities to be granted to their daughter, to have the ability to continue to play with the sand. And. every. time., she would throw it at the other children getting it in their eyes, hair, mouth.
The list went on and on....hitting, taking toys away, sticking out her tongue at every body, throwing food, stuffing food....etc., etc. Ya...normal behavior for a child that age, but the parents expected me to go outside of my phb policies of discipline, and grant special treatment to their child only.
Thankfully, they are not here anymore, and I would love to be a fly on the wall where she is now. Even though I'm sure.....the dcp's expect the special treatment to continue for this roost ruler.
cheerfuldom 10:03 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I don't think it is guilt. I think they don't want the kid to cry. I think guilt is actually very very rare in parenting.
I agree. They dont have to take care of their child for the majority of the waking hours so all they are trying to do is survive till they can drop their child off at school/daycare. I am running into more and more parents that shuttle a child from daycare to activities to a weekend/evening sitter or other parent's house so no, they are not going to do the hard work of parenting. It is easier to give the kid the candy/trip/tutu/toy and make them happy for a few minutes between daycare and dance class. I don't think it is guilt. I think they don't want the kid to cry. I think guilt is actually very very rare in parenting.
That said, I still know A LOT of wonderful parents that really are trying to involved and attentive so its not like every parent out there is a lazy bum.