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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>New Daycare Child Not Adjusting At All
Unregistered 06:40 AM 11-22-2019
I have a new child who just started this week. I highly suspect he may be on the spectrum (my oldest son is high functioning), but he’s just two. He’s never been in daycare but this seems like much more than that. He has meltdowns if he’s not wearing red. Only wears his red shoes. Only paints with red. You get tre idea. We bought him red utensils, cup, bowl, plate, etc. to make him more comfortable but hehe still doesn’t eat hardly at all.

It takes him a good hour to get to his default state. Which is just sad with periodic crying and asking about pickup with repetitive phrases all day. Instead of mostly playing and engaging with bouts of tears it’s reversed.

He will sometimes play with cars and the racetrack, and tea set plates. That’s it. Most of the time he wants to stand and look at the door. (Of course we redirect). Or he wants to sit next to you and not play st all.

He has no interest in initiating play or even responding to attempts to play from other kids. He’s very smart with an advanced vocabulary for his age. He’s also sweet. He’s just sad and it breaks my heart. He perks up some when it’s almost pick up time and that’s about it. I can distract him for very short amounts of time only.

I asked his parents for ideas and most of them I can’t do in a group setting as often as I would need to, as we can’t go half an hour wirjhtojr repetitive pick up phrases happening. I can’t give him stickers or let him color every time.

It takes him time with all transitions. For instance, it takes him a good half hour once getting in the playroom to play even with the cars/train he likes.

I thought about just telling them we can’t do it. The crying gets everyone else down and it makes me sad that he’s so sad. However, moving to a new place will be even harder for him. I do think he’d do better under one on one care by far. Preferably in his own home.

If things don’t get better in a few weeks I may give them time to find that and be done. In the meantime though, what can I do? Please share any tips, tricks, strategies, etc we could try. I need to balance individual support with maintaining the group schedule and morale.

Thanks in advance!
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Ariana 10:57 AM 11-22-2019
Picture schedules work pretty well. Print them off and get him to move them for each 30 minute interval. You can google picture schedule. It might calm him to know what is coming next.

I would also require an assessment before continuing as you need professional support here. I have no issues with kids with ASD but they have to be diagnosed or in the process of being assessed. I can’t support them on my own.
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rosieteddy 12:50 PM 11-22-2019
I would just try to let him get used to everything.His world has changed drastically . Maybe let him sit and watch things next to you.I often thought how strange it was that a child was dropped off with strangers. He has no idea his mom is coming back.He doesn't even know the other children.One day he was happily at home with his stuff,parents and even food.Then one day he is dropped off to a different house.A stranger and a bunch of noisy kids.It does take time to trust.Now the weekend is here and he will be home for a few days.I think its easier for infants,at two he is used to home.Give it time might take a month for him to make friends and trust everyone.How about fill a basket with a few toys and book .Let him sit next to you for awhile.May help him get used to everything Good luck.
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Cat Herder 01:21 PM 11-22-2019
Originally Posted by rosieteddy:
I would just try to let him get used to everything.His world has changed drastically . Maybe let him sit and watch things next to you.I often thought how strange it was that a child was dropped off with strangers. He has no idea his mom is coming back.He doesn't even know the other children.One day he was happily at home with his stuff,parents and even food.Then one day he is dropped off to a different house.A stranger and a bunch of noisy kids.It does take time to trust.Now the weekend is here and he will be home for a few days.I think its easier for infants,at two he is used to home.Give it time might take a month for him to make friends and trust everyone.How about fill a basket with a few toys and book .Let him sit next to you for awhile.May help him get used to everything Good luck.
You just perfectly described why I only enroll infants and raise them up, myself.
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flying_babyb 05:04 PM 11-22-2019
Play with the red thing... Give him a red square to sit on when hes feeling sad, a red a car. Point out to him "i have a red car to drive. would u like the red car?" May help him adjust. Mine was dinosaur boy (and totally autistic). we did everything with dinosaurs in some way (we ate spinach" like the dinosaurs", colored with the dinosaur on the table, peed like a dinosaur (ps dinosaurs in our world sit to pee).))
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Tags:adjusting, adjusting to care, adjusting to daycare, transition to new care
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