*Warning Trigger* Pls Help ! How To Explain When Child*Almost* Gets Seriously Hurt?

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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>*Warning Trigger* Pls Help ! How To Explain When Child*Almost* Gets Seriously Hurt?

Unregistered 05:52 AM 03-01-2013

(Regular user since last year logged out)
A child could have choked on some blinds. They didnt, because I caught it right away when the incident happened. I'm legally licensed exempt, if that info helps at all.

Those blinds cords are not the kind that can be altered to be made safe and I want to first off say I hate hate hate those blinds since the day we moved into this home because of the safety risk! I told my husband I was worried about it but he wasn't worried. We rent and it would be too expensive to replace the entire blinds to the sliding glass door and the landlord wouldn't do anything.

So I have been putting them up on the fire place mantel out of reach. Sometimes they fall down. There is a separater gate like thing blocking it too. Well some how this dcb got a hold of it when I was in the kitchen getting ready to make pancakes. The play room and back sliding glass door are all within my direct view from the kitchen. So I heard him fall and looked up and saw he was lying against the blinds and couldn't get up.

He started crying real funny sounding because the cords were pushing against his neck. He was literally 5ft away so I jumped the baby gate and grabbed him while pulling him up to loosen the cord at the same time. I tried comoforting him and inspecting his neck for any injury but he just wanted to jump up and go back to playing . Which is great but now he has a red welt/ring on each side of his neck where it was pressing against in those 5 seconds or so that it took from when he fell to when I ran and grabbed him up. He is fine! But he will have a red mark on his neck and even though I caught it right when it happens his mom might freak out imagining the worst seeing the marks.

Do I call a parent and have them pick up their child asap when something like this ever happens? Or tell her at pick up? Im pretty shaken up about it because it angers me that we couldn't do anything about it before (those stupid blinds!!) and my husbad wouldnt do anything about it before . I called him and told him I'm scared now because I already knew this was a bad thing that happens to kids and didnt like knowing those cords couldn't be removed some how. And now its even more real to me that this could happen to my own son (same age) at any moment .

I was already quitting doing child care for a while. This particular dcb, it's actually his last day today but it doesn't help the situation at all ! Can she call the police or report me? I told my husband over the phone to call the landlord and tell him what happens and tell him we NEED those blinds removed!! We might just have to take the entire thing down and go put up curtains. So something will be done tonight if we have to make store trips and be up all night, after my husband gets off work.

Ok the red marks are only one side by his ear and it looks like a little welt-like scratch like he scratched himself on something .
How would you explain this to the parent in the best way. Im so stressed because I thought I made it all the way through without him getting hurt because this kid has been a a liability in my eyes due to his behavior with how he likes to run, makes himself fall down on things and toys on purpose (he's only 18months but I think he's got a sensory issues) . Also because he is severely pigeon toed and that causes him to constantly trip & fall all the time too . So he is clumsy to begin with due to inward turned feet. I told the mom about his feet and him falling over his feet . She said she already knew but thinks he will just grow out of it.

So that is just one of several reasons I decided to give 2weeks notice last week Monday. He is a lot more work because of this and is a walking potential accident . I hate that on his last day he decided to get behind the partitioner thing I had and grabbed at the blind cords becase he is always trying to get into stuff he shouldnt . I have baby proofed this play room as best I could but that was the one thing I had left . However it wasn't out in the open. I know it was my fault regardless. I just wanted to explain some reasons I felt also contributed to this . And its going to be taken care of if we have to take them down entirely and put up curtains if the landlord still doesn't want to work with us on this .

Dcm doesn't know that I think of him as a liability . I just told her I had to let him go because I am unable to meet the needs of my family. Which is true because I am planning to term the other FT child and be left with only my drop in baby to make more time for my own family.
I need help on best explaining what happened so mom dcm doesn't freak out ?

Scout 06:07 AM 03-01-2013

I would first just put the blinds in the attic or somewhere where no kids can get at them! Then I would be sure to make sure dcm knows what happened and tell her that you immediately put them away and out of reach. Take a picture now while it is shortly after it happened also. I don't know about her being able to report you or anything though as I am legally unlicensed! Good Luck!

bunnyslippers 06:07 AM 03-01-2013

I am sure you are scared and very nervous. It is going to be all right, the child is fine. That being said, he could have been very hurt, or worse. You need to be honest with the mother and tell her what happened. She will more than likely be angry, but it is not all right to be dishonest with her. The child is leaving, so there is no chance she will pull him from your care. Let her know what happened, and let her know how you intend to rectify if so it never happens again.

You need to take those blinds down, today, regardless of what the landlord offers to do. I would rather hang blankets from my windows than risk the safety of a child.

I am sorry this happened, and I hope you can take the steps to ensure it never happens again. Good luck!

itlw8 06:16 AM 03-01-2013

You need to call her and let her know what happened... now go get a rubberband. coil that cord up and wrap the rubberband around it.

My3cents 06:34 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
(Regular user since last year logged out)
A child could have choked on some blinds. They didnt, because I caught it right away when the incident happened. I'm legally licensed exempt, if that info helps at all.

Those blinds cords are not the kind that can be altered to be made safe and I want to first off say I hate hate hate those blinds since the day we moved into this home because of the safety risk! I told my husband I was worried about it but he wasn't worried. We rent and it would be too expensive to replace the entire blinds to the sliding glass door and the landlord wouldn't do anything.

So I have been putting them up on the fire place mantel out of reach. Sometimes they fall down. There is a separater gate like thing blocking it too. Well some how this dcb got a hold of it when I was in the kitchen getting ready to make pancakes. The play room and back sliding glass door are all within my direct view from the kitchen. So I heard him fall and looked up and saw he was lying against the blinds and couldn't get up.

He started crying real funny sounding because the cords were pushing against his neck. He was literally 5ft away so I jumped the baby gate and grabbed him while pulling him up to loosen the cord at the same time. I tried comoforting him and inspecting his neck for any injury but he just wanted to jump up and go back to playing . Which is great but now he has a red welt/ring on each side of his neck where it was pressing against in those 5 seconds or so that it took from when he fell to when I ran and grabbed him up. He is fine! But he will have a red mark on his neck and even though I caught it right when it happens his mom might freak out imagining the worst seeing the marks.

Do I call a parent and have them pick up their child asap when something like this ever happens? Or tell her at pick up? Im pretty shaken up about it because it angers me that we couldn't do anything about it before (those stupid blinds!!) and my husbad wouldnt do anything about it before . I called him and told him I'm scared now because I already knew this was a bad thing that happens to kids and didnt like knowing those cords couldn't be removed some how. And now its even more real to me that this could happen to my own son (same age) at any moment .

I was already quitting doing child care for a while. This particular dcb, it's actually his last day today but it doesn't help the situation at all ! Can she call the police or report me? I told my husband over the phone to call the landlord and tell him what happens and tell him we NEED those blinds removed!! We might just have to take the entire thing down and go put up curtains. So something will be done tonight if we have to make store trips and be up all night, after my husband gets off work.

Ok the red marks are only one side by his ear and it looks like a little welt-like scratch like he scratched himself on something .
How would you explain this to the parent in the best way. Im so stressed because I thought I made it all the way through without him getting hurt because this kid has been a a liability in my eyes due to his behavior with how he likes to run, makes himself fall down on things and toys on purpose (he's only 18months but I think he's got a sensory issues) . Also because he is severely pigeon toed and that causes him to constantly trip & fall all the time too . So he is clumsy to begin with due to inward turned feet. I told the mom about his feet and him falling over his feet . She said she already knew but thinks he will just grow out of it.

So that is just one of several reasons I decided to give 2weeks notice last week Monday. He is a lot more work because of this and is a walking potential accident . I hate that on his last day he decided to get behind the partitioner thing I had and grabbed at the blind cords becase he is always trying to get into stuff he shouldnt . I have baby proofed this play room as best I could but that was the one thing I had left . However it wasn't out in the open. I know it was my fault regardless. I just wanted to explain some reasons I felt also contributed to this . And its going to be taken care of if we have to take them down entirely and put up curtains if the landlord still doesn't want to work with us on this .

Dcm doesn't know that I think of him as a liability . I just told her I had to let him go because I am unable to meet the needs of my family. Which is true because I am planning to term the other FT child and be left with only my drop in baby to make more time for my own family.
I need help on best explaining what happened so mom dcm doesn't freak out ?

You need to explain it to the mother what happened and log it. Where were you when this happened?

I think you also need to take things into your own hands, you have the license to run your business not your landlord and not your husband. You knew this was an issue and you should have just taken care of it in the first place.

I also think terming full time clients to make more time for your family is not cool. Your either in business or your not.

Sorry if this is harsh- but sometimes things like this make it hard for the rest of us. Did you really think coming to the daycare board that someone is going to tell you not to tell the parents? I recommend some classes to you on early childcare and get involved with other providers in your area.

I may be having an off day and off on my advice to you but this is what I see at this time, with what you put out there on your end.
Best-

SquirrellyMama 06:41 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by My3cents:
I also think terming full time clients to make more time for your family is not cool. Your either in business or your not.

There is nothing wrong with her doing this. She can be in business with drop in kids.

I think anyone who decides to make more time for their own family is doing the right thing.

Originally Posted by :
Sorry if this is harsh- but sometimes things like this make it hard for the rest of us. Did you really think coming to the daycare board that someone is going to tell you not to tell the parents?

She asked how she should tell the parents. I don't see where she asked if she should or shouldn't tell the mom. She asked if she should call immediately or wait until pick up.

Originally Posted by :

I recommend some classes to you on early childcare and get involved with other providers in your area.

I agree with this advice. It can help to get together with other providers and learn some safety measures.

I do think the OP needs to stop justifying why she didn't take care of the blinds herself and do not use that reasoning with mom. Tell her what happened and show her how you fixed the problem. I might even give her a refund for the day.
K

Unregistered 06:46 AM 03-01-2013

The blinds unit is very huge and needs to be unscrewed from the wall above the sliding glass door, professionally with a powerful drill. Its not something I can do by myself with little kids running around (includes my own child) .
Update: my husband just called me back. He talked to rental office and told them that we want the whole blinds unit removed because of it being a safety hazard and a child getting entagled in the cord. So there is a guy coming within the hour to take it down! Yay! I'm going to ask him take down all the other smaller ones in the house . I think the other ones are easily removable (the kind that can be put back up when needed) . We can store them in the garage in a big sotrage container for the next people who move in after we move out, and use curtains.

canadiancare 06:48 AM 03-01-2013

I just tie all the cords on my blinds up high.

cheerfuldom 06:49 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by My3cents:
You need to explain it to the mother what happened and log it. Where were you when this happened?

I think you also need to take things into your own hands, you have the license to run your business not your landlord and not your husband. You knew this was an issue and you should have just taken care of it in the first place.

I also think terming full time clients to make more time for your family is not cool. Your either in business or your not.

Sorry if this is harsh- but sometimes things like this make it hard for the rest of us. Did you really think coming to the daycare board that someone is going to tell you not to tell the parents? I recommend some classes to you on early childcare and get involved with other providers in your area.

I may be having an off day and off on my advice to you but this is what I see at this time, with what you put out there on your end.
Best-

to the bolded.....WHAT???? what are you talking about? it is completely fine in every way, shape and form for this provider to do cut back on daycare. she said she already knew this child was not a good fit for her home. she did the right and responsible thing by giving notice. unfortunately he got hurt on his last day. but that is no reason to imply that she then needs help from other providers and needs education. she already said she was shutting down her daycare. i am sorry but you have gone beyond rude in this comment. its not helpful and its just plain hurtful.

to the OP, i would not call the mom for immediate pickup. i would take a picture of the blinds AND the injury for my records. I would then type out a little note of what happened. explain to mom. have her sign the paper that you did tell her so that you have that for your own records as well. clear proof that you told her what happened and how you handled it. at this point, the best you can do is be honest and let the chips fall where they may.

Country Kids 06:50 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by My3cents:
You need to explain it to the mother what happened and log it. Where were you when this happened?

I think you also need to take things into your own hands, you have the license to run your business not your landlord and not your husband. You knew this was an issue and you should have just taken care of it in the first place.

I also think terming full time clients to make more time for your family is not cool. Your either in business or your not.

Sorry if this is harsh- but sometimes things like this make it hard for the rest of us. Did you really think coming to the daycare board that someone is going to tell you not to tell the parents? I recommend some classes to you on early childcare and get involved with other providers in your area.

I may be having an off day and off on my advice to you but this is what I see at this time, with what you put out there on your end.
Best-

She never did say anything that I'm reading that she is terming the client to make more time for her family. Even if she did, I have read many posts on the formum of providers doing this. Why in the world jump this one provider if she did this even though she posted nothing about doing that.

Her second paragraph explained where she was and what she was doing.

She never said anything about NOT TELLING THE PARENTS. The post was explaining what happened and HOW to explain it to the parents. Taking a million and one childcare classes doesn't prevent accidents. She was already aware there was problem, nothing that seemed to be able to be done (wasn't their house for one) and did take precautions.

Also, this is a regular member and could be one of the best providers out there. Accidents happen and thank goodness nothing extreme happened!

I'm just surprised out how harsh you are with the op when half of the things you said weren't even written or implied. I know sometimes we really read the posts fast but thats why I have written a few posts on slowing our readings down and see really being written and not what we think is being written.

OP, take a deep breath and explain everything to the parent. If you need to talk feel free to pm me! I have been having some problems with it but please try and I would be happy to talk to you.

williams2008 06:58 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by canadiancare:
I just tie all the cords on my blinds up high.

I do this to all my blinds as well!

SquirrellyMama 07:03 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by itlw8:
You need to call her and let her know what happened... now go get a rubberband. coil that cord up and wrap the rubberband around it.

That is an excellent idea. I fought with our blinds for a long time and tried different methods but never thought of this. How simple! We now have curtains so I don't have to worry about it.

K

SilverSabre25 07:05 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by My3cents:
You need to explain it to the mother what happened and log it. Where were you when this happened?

I think you also need to take things into your own hands, you have the license to run your business not your landlord and not your husband. You knew this was an issue and you should have just taken care of it in the first place.

I also think terming full time clients to make more time for your family is not cool. Your either in business or your not.

Sorry if this is harsh- but sometimes things like this make it hard for the rest of us. Did you really think coming to the daycare board that someone is going to tell you not to tell the parents? I recommend some classes to you on early childcare and get involved with other providers in your area.

I may be having an off day and off on my advice to you but this is what I see at this time, with what you put out there on your end.
Best-

Putting on my moderator hat here...

I feel that this was unduly accusatory and harsh--and you know it. Please read the OP more carefully; she did explain where she was, how it happened, and why she's here. She wants advice on how to tell the parents, not whether she should tell them. She did not need to be scolded for her reasons over terming the family

canadiancare 07:11 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Putting on my moderator hat here...

I feel that this was unduly accusatory and harsh--and you know it. Please read the OP more carefully; she did explain where she was, how it happened, and why she's here. She wants advice on how to tell the parents, not whether she should tell them. She did not need to be scolded for her reasons over terming the family

Understood, however the main subject of the post is kind of lost in all kinds of extra detail. It is tricky to read through it. I am not saying that the reply wasn't harsh but I had to reread twice to figure out what the point was.

SilverSabre25 07:21 AM 03-01-2013

OP, I've had a couple scary things happen over the years as well and I know how stressful it is.

The easiest way to tell the parents is to just do it.

"Hey, I have something I need to tell you. Everything is FINE, but DCB got himself into a bit of a pickle this morning. You know these blinds I hate because they're hard to child proof and the landlord won't do anything about it...(and explain what happened, including where you were and what happened, pretty much just was you wrote here:

Originally Posted by :
Well some how this dcb got a hold of it when I was in the kitchen getting ready to make pancakes. The play room and back sliding glass door are all within my direct view from the kitchen. So I heard him fall and looked up and saw he was lying against the blinds and couldn't get up.

He started crying real funny sounding because the cords were pushing against his neck. He was literally 5ft away so I jumped the baby gate and grabbed him while pulling him up to loosen the cord at the same time. I tried comoforting him and inspecting his neck for any injury but he just wanted to jump up and go back to playing . Which is great but now he has a red welt/ring on each side of his neck where it was pressing against in those 5 seconds or so that it took from when he fell to when I ran and grabbed him up. He is fine! But he will have a red mark on his neck and even though I caught it right when it happens his mom might freak out imagining the worst seeing the marks.

Be straightforward and up front, and see what happens from there. If you're open and let her know what you USUALLY do, and how you intend to fix it or have fixed it, then even if she reports you not much is likely to come of it.

it's tough, it might be the toughest thing you've ever had to do--but you're not alone, you're not the only one, you aren't the first and you won't be the last.

KnoxMom 07:25 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
(Regular user since last year logged out)

I need help on best explaining what happened so mom dcm doesn't freak out ?

Clearly she isn't trying to dodge the issue here. The best thing to do is refer to your contract. Does it say how incidents will be communicated to parents? (By immediate phone call, by note, discussed by end of business day, etc.) If you have not outlined how you will handle the situation, then you have to go based on how that parent interacts with you. If this is an attentive parent who keeps consistent communication, then go ahead and give a call letting her know it is not an emergency but you wanted to let her know that you caught an accident before it happened and wanted her to know about it in advance. On the other hand, if this is one of those mothers that is always in a rush and rarely responds when you call/text, an explanation at pick-up should be sufficient. Either way, be honest and explain the preventative measures you are taking; also, make sure whichever you decide that you write up an incident report and have the parent sign and keep a photo of the scratch with the log for your own records. Good luck!

Unregistered 07:42 AM 03-01-2013

A maintenance man for the realty company came to remove the entire thing for me. My teen age son (he does his high school at home) has helped me by removing all the other blinds off the windows in the home.
Yes I did terminate care because I need to make more time for my family. That is not bad business at all. I have been doing this for 4 years now . We moved last spring and I had a new baby after all my older kids were older. When I did childcare before having him, I could get up at 5am, get off at 6pm and still make it work. With a toddler now, even though he is the easiest of them all , much easier than any childcare kid I have had (but 1) because he is on a schedule and everything ... the dynamics are still different and it is still harder managing even a small group with having my own baby/toddler . I also don't parent the same as a lot of others do as well. So i feel I have a lot more n my plate even with how I parent him&my older kids differently.
I have to do what is best to keep my family happy, and keep ME sane so I am the best, HAPPIEST child care provider I can be when I decide to go Back to FT again .

I'll respond to the other posts later . It's nap time , but I need to go get something to eat and take a break. If I don't reply right away , I'm not disappearing. Just super busy .

Heidi 07:49 AM 03-01-2013

Op...if you are not licensed, there is no one to report you to, unless you're "illegal". That could be reported. If your legally exempt, then you don't have anyone to answer to except your clients.

Silvers choice of words is excellent. It may have been scarey, but nothing really happened in the end. I'm glad it prompted you to take action though.

And no, no one is going to call the police. You did not purposely hurt anyone. It'll be ok. Chances are by pick-up time, the red mark will even be gone. Still, tell the mom anyway, just like Silver put it.

Oh, and

Blackcat31 07:56 AM 03-01-2013

Here is my two cents:

@ OP~ Just be honest. Tell the mother exactly what happened. Document everything and move on. You are obviously taking care of the safety hazard so that part is a moot point now.

@ Everyone else ~ I am floored that you all came down so hard on My3cents. She is a long standing member here and perhaps she is reading while feeding a baby or trying to prepare snack...who knows, we are all multi tasking so it is understandable as to how she most definitely mis-read what was written.

Like Candiancare said, the original post was/is long and rambling and difficult to follow. I DID go in and edit as it was all jumbled together and very badly spelled....so I assume OP posted using her phone.

However, since we are a forum that is suppose to SUPPORT one another, why not just say "Hey, My3cents...I think you read that a little wrong. Maybe re-read it again as I think some of the details are being misunderstood."

THAT would have been helpful. It is one thing when ONE person brings it up or gets down on her but why the necessity of the others? There really was no need for anyone other than the first person who noticed to reprimand her and scold her for her words.

I KNOW I read the original post more than once before FULLY understanding. I was emotional the first time I read it. It is HARD to read things like that without being upset so typing while thinking with your heart is tough sometimes. A gentle nudge to re-read would have been more appropriate. IMHO.

@Cheer~ This (the above) is NOT directed at you or anyone else who made a comment on the terming FT kids for more time with family comment. That particular comment was something My3cents gave as an opinion so I feel that is fair game for others to respond to.

Bottom line though is it isn't necessary to jump down someone's throat immediately. A little "head's up...that was kinda harsh" (wink wink) type of reply would have done just as well and would have avoided the now awkward tone of this thread.

I just don't feel it was necessary for others to then jump aboard and continue lecturing her (My3cents).

just_peachy 08:21 AM 03-01-2013

I think in these types of situations, our imaginations are our own worst enemies. We end up day-nightmaring (not a word, oh well) about how the parents will react, when in all reality, they have probably done much worse. As a daycare provider, I think we are more cautious than parents, not less. I have 3 kids, 3, 5, and 7 and I didn't bother completely childproofing my house until I started doing daycare.

Be forthcoming, be honest, and try not to get too emotional. It looks like you make sure you always have a direct line of sight to your kids at ALL times, in case of accidents like this (It may be worth mentioning that during your convo.) How many parents can say that?

Country Kids 08:27 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Here is my two cents:

@ OP~ Just be honest. Tell the mother exactly what happened. Document everything and move on. You are obviously taking care of the safety hazard so that part is a moot point now.

@ Everyone else ~ I am floored that you all came down so hard on My3cents. She is a long standing member here and perhaps she is reading while feeding a baby or trying to prepare snack...who knows, we are all multi tasking so it is understandable as to how she most definitely mis-read what was written.

Like Candiancare said, the original post was/is long and rambling and difficult to follow. I DID go in and edit as it was all jumbled together and very badly spelled....so I assume OP posted using her phone.

However, since we are a forum that is suppose to SUPPORT one another, why not just say "Hey, My3cents...I think you read that a little wrong. Maybe re-read it again as I think some of the details are being misunderstood."

THAT would have been helpful. It is one thing when ONE person brings it up or gets down on her but why the necessity of the others? There really was no need for anyone other than the first person who noticed to reprimand her and scold her for her words.

I KNOW I read the original post more than once before FULLY understanding. I was emotional the first time I read it. It is HARD to read things like that without being upset so typing while thinking with your heart is tough sometimes. A gentle nudge to re-read would have been more appropriate. IMHO.

@Cheer~ This (the above) is NOT directed at you or anyone else who made a comment on the terming FT kids for more time with family comment. That particular comment was something My3cents gave as an opinion so I feel that is fair game for others to respond to.

Bottom line though is it isn't necessary to jump down someone's throat immediately. A little "head's up...that was kinda harsh" (wink wink) type of reply would have done just as well and would have avoided the now awkward tone of this thread.

I just don't feel it was necessary for others to then jump aboard and continue lecturing her (My3cents).

I was writing and was interrupted several times and when I posted it seemed posting at the same time. We all may have thought we would be the only one posting back to my3cents and then when I hit send there were like 3 more before me.

Also wondering if the part of the terming was added later as I didn't read that the first time at all and it seems no one else but my3cents saw that. So I'm wondering if we all read the first post, it was then edited, my3cents saw it and posted and we all reacted because none of us saw it. I have actually seen that several times, you read the first post, it becomes edited but you don't reread it because you don't realize it was edited but then someone else reads the edited version, posts but it makes no sense because you haven't seen the edited version.

Hopefully that makes sense.

cheerfuldom 08:56 AM 03-01-2013

as always, we cannot tell intention or tones or anything like that from a post. for now, i stand by my comment. i would be happy to re-evaluate should my3cents want to clarify her comments. however, if someone really is coming across as incredibly harsh towards an OP, then yes, I am going to point them out because I dont want the OP to feel like one harsh post represents all of us here. If someone thinks my comment is too much, please report and an admin/moderator can contact me. otherwise, my post stays.

Country Kids 09:09 AM 03-01-2013

Also, another mod did go on after some of the posts and agree that it was pretty harsh of my3cents.

So its hard knowing if the mods are going to agree on certain posts and that if they have different opinions on what they think is harsh or not.

bunnyslippers 09:14 AM 03-01-2013

I think the OP has gotten plenty of good advice, and probably was just looking for some quick ideas and reassurance. We have all been in situations where we wish we could get a "do-over," and have certainly all had situations that are terrifying and get worse the more we think of what could have happened.

I would hate to see this thread turn into another thread with arguing and finger-pointing. We are all here to support one another, and offer one another both honest opinions and guidance.

Let's just hope the OP has a great rest of the day, and that we have all had a reminder to check our environments for safety.

Blackcat31 09:22 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Also, another mod did go on after some of the posts and agree that it was pretty harsh of my3cents.

So its hard knowing if the mods are going to agree on certain posts and that if they have different opinions on what they think is harsh or not.

I dont think what a moderator thinks has anything to do with my point.

MY point was since My3cents is a long standing member of this board and is usually supportive and helpful when posting that other members should have taken that into consideration and said to her "Hey, I don't know if you meant to come across so harsh but you might want to go back and re-read what was written in the original post" BFORE jumping all over her.

THAT was MY point. What a moderator classifies as harsh or not harsh has nothing to do with what I was saying.

Your comment (in quote) makes it sound like you post according to what moderators may or may not think. Why not just post what YOU think?

countrymom 09:39 AM 03-01-2013

hmm, its great that you want to have support and the op is asking on what to say to the parent, BUT, op is at fault and because she knew of the dangers of the blinds and never did anything about them till someone got hurt is the real issue. You can't blame the landlord or anyone else about the blinds because you could have prevented the outcome. You said yourself that you have had numerous discussions with your dh, then why didn't you do something before, why didn't you tie the ends up with ribbon or an elastic band. We always have discussions on how products get recalled and here you have a clear example.
what does terming have to do with this situation??????this is clearly a health and saftey issue and you should tell mom what happened, more or less she'll understand because things happen but if she still continued in your care I could see them terming.

cheerfuldom 10:10 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by countrymom:
hmm, its great that you want to have support and the op is asking on what to say to the parent, BUT, op is at fault and because she knew of the dangers of the blinds and never did anything about them till someone got hurt is the real issue. You can't blame the landlord or anyone else about the blinds because you could have prevented the outcome. You said yourself that you have had numerous discussions with your dh, then why didn't you do something before, why didn't you tie the ends up with ribbon or an elastic band. We always have discussions on how products get recalled and here you have a clear example.
what does terming have to do with this situation??????this is clearly a health and saftey issue and you should tell mom what happened, more or less she'll understand because things happen but if she still continued in your care I could see them terming.

but she DID do something about it. she was aware of the issue, tried to put the cord up, blocked off the blinds as best as possible AND termed a child that she knew was not the right fit for her home setup. i do agree that she should have just had the blinds removed and listened to her instincts (instead of her hubby) BUT we ALL make mistakes. nobody is perfect. kids do get hurt. thank goodness that this child is okay. and she has taken the right steps in getting these permanently removed and will be speaking to the DC parent. to clarify, it is my understanding that this child was already termed for multiple reasons and that this was his last day. she is not terming over the blinds issue....it just unfortunately happened on his last day in care. am i right OP?

Country Kids 10:10 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

I dont think what a moderator thinks has anything to do with my point.

MY point was since My3cents is a long standing member of this board and is usually supportive and helpful when posting that other members should have taken that into consideration and said to her "Hey, I don't know if you meant to come across so harsh but you might want to go back and re-read what was written in the original post" BFORE jumping all over her.

THAT was MY point. What a moderator classifies as harsh or not harsh has nothing to do with what I was saying.

Your comment (in quote) makes it sound like you post according to what moderators may or may not think. Why not just post what YOU think?

No, what I was thinking was if a poster was having backlash on what is being said, I guess I was always under the impression the mods stepped in after maybe some discussion to settle it. Still don't know if I explained that right.

I have been on some other forums where if there was an issue the mods discussed then one posted if there was a problem. I guess I was thinking thats what happened here when SilverSabre25 said she was putting the mod hat on. I actually didn't know she was a mod-in fact I'm wondering how many there are as I never gave it any thought. So when she posted I thought it was saying it was to harsh (from all the mods) but she was just the one posting.

My3cents 10:12 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by SquirrellyMama:
There is nothing wrong with her doing this. She can be in business with drop in kids. you are right, but I am looking at it through the parents eyes that are counting on childcare being available to them. I read into this as wishy washy and not consistent with the clients.

I think anyone who decides to make more time for their own family is doing the right thing. yes but decide what your going to do, again your right. I see things differently then you but I also run a full daycare and not just take in a couple of kids and am licensed. I always say do what works best for you and your program. I was looking at it from the clients angle (and her client may be just peachy with this) I know I would be upset if I was axed, because my provider was taking a break but keeping other kids, and having to count on her for a care so that I could work, with the possibility that she might take me on again or other clients in a few months. I would want consistency for my children and myself. I have more understanding if the provider says I am going to cut my hours back, at least that puts it in the clients hands of what they want to do. Everyone has to do what is right for them

She asked how she should tell the parents. I don't see where she asked if she should or shouldn't tell the mom. She asked if she should call immediately or wait until pick up.I did read it that she was looking to know if she should tell them or let it go as it was the last day of service. I read fast this morning, I was having an off moment in life in general apologized right off if I was harsh but I stand on what I said, with no intent other then to throw out my opinion on what I read. I am okay if we don't agree on what I say, I put it out there and hope for the best, it is my view and if you feel I am wrong that is your view. It is all good- because I come from a good place in general, at least most of the time-

I agree with this advice. It can help to get together with other providers and learn some safety measures.

I do think the OP needs to stop justifying why she didn't take care of the blinds herself and do not use that reasoning with mom. Tell her what happened and show her how you fixed the problem. I might even give her a refund for the day.
K

I responded to some of this above-

nannyde 10:17 AM 03-01-2013

This is what I do with cords. I have a metal clip at the top left and right of each window and double no tie breakaway cords. When I pull up the shades I hang the cord over the clip which puts the level of the cords about six foot off the ground.

Attached: 20130301_121207.jpg (45.3 KB)

Country Kids 10:19 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by nannyde:
This is what I do with cords. I have a metal clip at the top left and right of each window and double no tie breakaway cords. When I pull up the shades I hang the cord over the clip which puts the level of the cords about six foot off the ground.

I have something like that over my windows. Sad thing is I have lived here 17 years and guess what I never knew what it was for!

Thanks for letting me know Nannyde!

My3cents 10:39 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
to the bolded.....WHAT???? what are you talking about? it is completely fine in every way, shape and form for this provider to do cut back on daycare. she said she already knew this child was not a good fit for her home. she did the right and responsible thing by giving notice. unfortunately he got hurt on his last day. but that is no reason to imply that she then needs help from other providers and needs education. she already said she was shutting down her daycare. i am sorry but you have gone beyond rude in this comment. its not helpful and its just plain hurtful. I am sorry you feel this way, it is the last thing I ever try to do is be rude to someone else, or hurtful. I was giving my opinion and it is ok if you don't agree- It is ok if the OP doesn't agree. I agree with you that it is the responsible thing to do with the child that got hurt. It was not working out, two weeks notice. That is done. I don't agree with letting another family that is counting on her care and has had no issues go but keep a part timer. I feel make up your mind if you want to do daycare or not. I responded to this more in another reply post. I personally dislike it when providers are not consistent. That being said we all have to do what is best for ourselves.

to the OP, i would not call the mom for immediate pickup. i would take a picture of the blinds AND the injury for my records. I would then type out a little note of what happened. explain to mom. have her sign the paper that you did tell her so that you have that for your own records as well. clear proof that you told her what happened and how you handled it. at this point, the best you can do is be honest and let the chips fall where they may.

I responded above-

My3cents 11:07 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Here is my two cents:

@ OP~ Just be honest. Tell the mother exactly what happened. Document everything and move on. You are obviously taking care of the safety hazard so that part is a moot point now.

@ Everyone else ~ I am floored that you all came down so hard on My3cents. She is a long standing member here and perhaps she is reading while feeding a baby or trying to prepare snack...who knows, we are all multi tasking so it is understandable as to how she most definitely mis-read what was written.

Like Candiancare said, the original post was/is long and rambling and difficult to follow. I DID go in and edit as it was all jumbled together and very badly spelled....so I assume OP posted using her phone.

However, since we are a forum that is suppose to SUPPORT one another, why not just say "Hey, My3cents...I think you read that a little wrong. Maybe re-read it again as I think some of the details are being misunderstood."

THAT would have been helpful. It is one thing when ONE person brings it up or gets down on her but why the necessity of the others? There really was no need for anyone other than the first person who noticed to reprimand her and scold her for her words.

I KNOW I read the original post more than once before FULLY understanding. I was emotional the first time I read it. It is HARD to read things like that without being upset so typing while thinking with your heart is tough sometimes. A gentle nudge to re-read would have been more appropriate. IMHO.Thanks BC, and I did read it more then once but I admit fast because as always I am multitasking. I do stand on what I said, but if I was harsh I am sorry and I do apologize. I am not a cruel, mean, hurtful, rude person. Opinionated yes- very. Right all the time-far from it. Experienced - yes.

@Cheer~ This (the above) is NOT directed at you or anyone else who made a comment on the terming FT kids for more time with family comment. That particular comment was something My3cents gave as an opinion so I feel that is fair game for others to respond to. I agree if a client is not working out you should let them go. I don't agree with being wishy washy- probably because I have worked so hard to get where I am at. Everyone should do what is best for them. I personally don't like it when a provider opens and closes, opens and closes or favors sets of clients over others.

Bottom line though is it isn't necessary to jump down someone's throat immediately. A little "head's up...that was kinda harsh" (wink wink) type of reply would have done just as well and would have avoided the now awkward tone of this thread.

I just don't feel it was necessary for others to then jump aboard and continue lecturing her (My3cents).

Again thank you BC and I am all good on my end. No hard feelings towards anyone. I stand on what I said, but have gone back and addressed a little of this here and there, to give more of an understanding of where I was coming from and trying not to take away from the OP. Just as it was said I was harsh, I admitted I was harsh. That was where I was at in the moment of how I took what I read and how I responded.

Happy Friday everyone. I wish you all a wonderful weekend!!!

My3cents 11:25 AM 03-01-2013

I read it as the OP knew the blinds were a problem but just kept putting them off for everyone else to handle.
I don't need a moderator to tell me I was harsh I was harsh. I admitted that. I am ok with that, because I can think for myself and often I do.

With the above being said, we all make mistakes and that is how we learn from them. All the criticism over what I said was taken in thought by me. I refuse to be a cookie cutter of everyone else. Why do you think I do childcare???

I hope that the OP took into thought all of the advise given to her and formed her own opinion and thoughts on her issues. OP- please update on the parents reaction and how you ended up handling it. IF I were you, I would just be honest and tell her what happened, log it just in case and I wish you luck and happiness with whatever you decide to do with your daycare career and personal life- Best-

My3cents 11:32 AM 03-01-2013

I do the same thing. I have a little hook- its actually a picture frame hook and I wind the cord up there. Touching the blinds is a big NO here. Reaching them is not even an issue. My blinds are up and down all day, or open and shut all day- actually both, depending on the window. Anyhow this is all I am saying on this issue........ at least until next week

nannyde 11:34 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by My3cents:

I responded to some of this above-

My3

I can't tell you the number of clients I have had in my two decades who have wanted to cut back the hours or days of daycare down because they found a better money or care gig for their family. A provider cutting back on clients because it is a better deal for their own family isn't any different than a family cutting down or out because it is better for theirs. As long as everyone gives contracted notice what difference does it make? The parents aren't obligated to secure our future and we aren't obligated to secure theirs. It's good business to know what works best for your own family and be able to make it happen. I don't think there are too many amoung us who wouldnt love to cut back a full timer in exchange for a part timer. I would.

canadiancare 11:45 AM 03-01-2013

If I win the lottery I am cutting down to no timers.

SquirrellyMama 11:55 AM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by canadiancare:
If I win the lottery I am cutting down to no timers.

Heidi 12:07 PM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by canadiancare:
If I win the lottery I am cutting down to no timers.

I just checked 10 minutes ago, and I DID NOT win 90 million dollars.

canadiancare 12:29 PM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by Heidi:
I just checked 10 minutes ago, and I DID NOT win 90 million dollars.

Well doesn't that suck?

I don't actually buy tickets so I won't be winning anytime soon.

Blackcat31 01:21 PM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by canadiancare:
I don't actually buy tickets so I won't be winning anytime soon.

Oh, well that explains why I haven't won anything yet either!?

I was thinking about jumping on the bandwagon with the 9 hair stylist who went in together and bought a lottery ticket.

They won 7 million dollars, but the stylist who actually purchased the ticket is claiming the prize money all to herself.

The other gals are suing her for their share.

I considered saying I was in on it too.

canadiancare 01:49 PM 03-01-2013

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Oh, well that explains why I haven't won anything yet either!?

I was thinking about jumping on the bandwagon with the 9 hair stylist who went in together and bought a lottery ticket.

They won 7 million dollars, but the stylist who actually purchased the ticket is claiming the prize money all to herself.

The other gals are suing her for their share.

I considered saying I was in on it too.

Don't you remember that time I gave you a really good tip and said to put my name on a lottery ticket?

mamac 08:52 PM 03-01-2013

I have no advice on the original post but I wanted to share my solution to the dangling cords. I cut all mine so that they are only a few inches long. If you need to raise the entire blind, even all the way, the cord doesn't go low enough to pose a choking/strangulation hazard for small children. I think it also looks much neater than having the cord tied up somewhere.

cheerfuldom 07:38 PM 03-03-2013

Originally Posted by nannyde:
My3

I can't tell you the number of clients I have had in my two decades who have wanted to cut back the hours or days of daycare down because they found a better money or care gig for their family. A provider cutting back on clients because it is a better deal for their own family isn't any different than a family cutting down or out because it is better for theirs. As long as everyone gives contracted notice what difference does it make? The parents aren't obligated to secure our future and we aren't obligated to secure theirs. It's good business to know what works best for your own family and be able to make it happen. I don't think there are too many amoung us who wouldnt love to cut back a full timer in exchange for a part timer. I would.

agree.

changing your policies to fit the changing needs of your family does not make you "wishy washy". have different priorities than your daycare families does not make you "wishy washy".

we are small business owners here. we can change things as we see fit. i have taken a kid here and there only to find out that that one extra addition is not working and having to term for my own personal reasons....nothing wrong with the family. i have changed hours, rates, full timers, part timers, ages, pretty much every part of daycare for the past 6 years as my families needs have changed (one move, four kids, a husband that has also changed jobs). none of this warrants others viewing me as indecisive or unreliable. I am decisive and reliable.....for my family first! just because it doesnt mesh with the daycare families sometimes does not make me a bad provider. nor does the OP need to apologize for changing things up on her end.

i know we can agree to disagree and that is fine. but i absolutely feel frustrated for the OP that she has come here for advice and her post was picked apart, misread, judge on in such a negative light, and decisions she already made were put down. wow. wouldnt be surprised if she doesnt come back here.

Unregistered 07:58 PM 03-04-2013

Sorry, I have been SO busy ! And I am sorry for the first post being confusing,or written so poorly. I was using wifi, on my phone.

Update on dcb who got caught in the blind's cord . My hands were shaking, I was so nervous. DCM didn't act angry, or anything like that. So if she was upset, I couldn't tell. She stated that she will hang onto my number and will be giving me a call some time , for occasional care. (A week ago, I had told her that I would still do occasional, drop in care or saturday care if she needed, and if I was available.)
It will be nice when the curtains and curtain rods are all installed&put up for four different sets of windows, all around the house.

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
agree.

changing your policies to fit the changing needs of your family does not make you "wishy washy". have different priorities than your daycare families does not make you "wishy washy".

we are small business owners here. we can change things as we see fit. i have taken a kid here and there only to find out that that one extra addition is not working and having to term for my own personal reasons....nothing wrong with the family. i have changed hours, rates, full timers, part timers, ages, pretty much every part of daycare for the past 6 years as my families needs have changed (one move, four kids, a husband that has also changed jobs). none of this warrants others viewing me as indecisive or unreliable. I am decisive and reliable.....for my family first! just because it doesnt mesh with the daycare families sometimes does not make me a bad provider. nor does the OP need to apologize for changing things up on her end.

i know we can agree to disagree and that is fine. but i absolutely feel frustrated for the OP that she has come here for advice and her post was picked apart, misread, judge on in such a negative light, and decisions she already made were put down. wow. wouldnt be surprised if she doesnt come back here.

** insert thumbs up,thumbs up ***

I agree to the above.

I am going on 4 years doing this. I know it's not that long. But this is the first&only baby(and now 1 yr old) I've ever had of my own, while doing daycare at the same time. I have more children,but they are much older so the spacing between him and my last beore him, are many years. when i started dongi childcare out of my home, it was not the same because all my kids were only older kids. I had no problems getting up at 5am for a 6am arrival and still having time for my family.

When he was a little infant ,it was less complicated having other infants at the same time. Becuase I wasn't trying to teach him that many things. So he was just like as if he was another daycare baby in the "group" . I had them all on the same schedule and it was really nice !
As he gets older,the dck's are getting more difficult because all the while they are getting older, I am trying to teach him more things . And because of parenting differences, the other babies/toddlers can't learn or do the same things . So I realized I can't teach them all the same things at the same time. Especially if one or more has issues from the parent NOT tecahing them things they either should already know,or if it's a bad habit that is affecting me,in my home (like starting to fight nap,behavior issues,etc..) .

One of the other reasons I needed to terminate care with that one dcb, to better meet the needs of my family, is because of a scheduling conflict. The schedule was turning out to be different than what she said it would be, and then I also didn't realize how long a day it made having an early arrival with one child, and a later pick up with another, even though both children were under 9-10 hours each, it ended up being two overlapping sets of contracted hours making an 11 hour day , NOT counting the 1-2 hours it takes me to get ready because I have other stuff I have to do ,before opening my door.

How am I supposed to know that when he got to be this age , that the other little ones would become too difficult ? I've had all different age ranges, before. But all that was before I had a baby of my own. for those of you that can do it,more power to you ;-)

I realize I just can't do 12 months-2 years while my own son is within that age range because of too different of parenting styles between my clients and myself. I thought I could do it, as he got older and now I know I can't. It was a learning experience,or mistake. Whatever you want to call it. I never have really agreed with how people do things with 12-24 month olds. but it didn't really make that big of difference until my own little one became in that age range. Because I am trying to do things with him that conflict with how I would have to do things with some one else's child. This is why I decided sticking to 0-12 months would be best , OR kids already potty trained who's parent's have more simliar parenting styles.

My3cents 11:07 AM 03-05-2013

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Sorry, I have been SO busy ! And I am sorry for the first post being confusing,or written so poorly. I was using wifi, on my phone.

Update on dcb who got caught in the blind's cord . My hands were shaking, I was so nervous. DCM didn't act angry, or anything like that. So if she was upset, I couldn't tell. She stated that she will hang onto my number and will be giving me a call some time , for occasional care. (A week ago, I had told her that I would still do occasional, drop in care or saturday care if she needed, and if I was available.)
It will be nice when the curtains and curtain rods are all installed&put up for four different sets of windows, all around the house.

** insert thumbs up,thumbs up ***

I agree to the above.

I am going on 4 years doing this. I know it's not that long. But this is the first&only baby(and now 1 yr old) I've ever had of my own, while doing daycare at the same time. I have more children,but they are much older so the spacing between him and my last beore him, are many years. when i started dongi childcare out of my home, it was not the same because all my kids were only older kids. I had no problems getting up at 5am for a 6am arrival and still having time for my family.

When he was a little infant ,it was less complicated having other infants at the same time. Becuase I wasn't trying to teach him that many things. So he was just like as if he was another daycare baby in the "group" . I had them all on the same schedule and it was really nice !
As he gets older,the dck's are getting more difficult because all the while they are getting older, I am trying to teach him more things . And because of parenting differences, the other babies/toddlers can't learn or do the same things . So I realized I can't teach them all the same things at the same time. Especially if one or more has issues from the parent NOT tecahing them things they either should already know,or if it's a bad habit that is affecting me,in my home (like starting to fight nap,behavior issues,etc..) .

One of the other reasons I needed to terminate care with that one dcb, to better meet the needs of my family, is because of a scheduling conflict. The schedule was turning out to be different than what she said it would be, and then I also didn't realize how long a day it made having an early arrival with one child, and a later pick up with another, even though both children were under 9-10 hours each, it ended up being two overlapping sets of contracted hours making an 11 hour day , NOT counting the 1-2 hours it takes me to get ready because I have other stuff I have to do ,before opening my door.

How am I supposed to know that when he got to be this age , that the other little ones would become too difficult ? I've had all different age ranges, before. But all that was before I had a baby of my own. for those of you that can do it,more power to you ;-)

I realize I just can't do 12 months-2 years while my own son is within that age range because of too different of parenting styles between my clients and myself. I thought I could do it, as he got older and now I know I can't. It was a learning experience,or mistake. Whatever you want to call it. I never have really agreed with how people do things with 12-24 month olds. but it didn't really make that big of difference until my own little one became in that age range. Because I am trying to do things with him that conflict with how I would have to do things with some one else's child. This is why I decided sticking to 0-12 months would be best , OR kids already potty trained who's parent's have more simliar parenting styles.

Good luck to you-

In case you decide to reopen, my advice to you would be to do things the way that you do them for all the kids in your care. Your house, your rules. Try to get like minded families to work with. Kuddo's to you for knowing it was your time to depart doing daycare. Kuddo's again for telling that Mom what happened even though it was hard for you to do, and fixing the issue.

I truly wish you the best-

Michael 01:00 PM 03-05-2013

Originally Posted by canadiancare:
I just tie all the cords on my blinds up high.

Yes, I use to put stick on plastic coat hangers up high and tie the cord up on them.

Some other ideas: http://www.ehow.com/how_2036987_baby-proof-home.html

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