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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Reading through the Baloney meter????
daycare 11:13 AM 07-28-2013
I have had a few years of some not so good families. BUT I do have to admit that a lot of it was because I was not using my backbone and trying to please everyone by doing special for them.
Well years have passed and I have done a complete turn around. HOWEVER, I just really really can't seem to pick the right families.
I ask all the right questions, make sure everything sounds great, not good GREAT between the parents and I. I am sure to go over my polices with them and during the trial period, remind them any time they overstep any of the policies. Usually by the end of the 2 week trial period, they know my policies very well and things are ok.
OF course every person puts their best foot forward in any relationship right?? It always seems that about a fews month or so into care, that some of the parents start to slack off. They start doing little things here and there and I am constantly having to tell someone HEY knock it off.
I just started a new family 3 months ago. My husband and I both LOVED these parents during the interview and even during their 3 months that they have been here. But all of a sudden, we are starting to see a lot of stuff that rubs us the wrong way. The biggie was that the DCM actually asked me NOT to go on my only vacation for the rest of the year so that her kids could attend. She was made aware of this vacation at the time that she enrolled......
I feel that I have a very good interview process, I don't know what else I could do differently.
Does anyone have this happen to them as well??
Well years have passed and I have done a complete turn around. HOWEVER, I just really really can't seem to pick the right families.
I ask all the right questions, make sure everything sounds great, not good GREAT between the parents and I. I am sure to go over my polices with them and during the trial period, remind them any time they overstep any of the policies. Usually by the end of the 2 week trial period, they know my policies very well and things are ok.
OF course every person puts their best foot forward in any relationship right?? It always seems that about a fews month or so into care, that some of the parents start to slack off. They start doing little things here and there and I am constantly having to tell someone HEY knock it off.
I just started a new family 3 months ago. My husband and I both LOVED these parents during the interview and even during their 3 months that they have been here. But all of a sudden, we are starting to see a lot of stuff that rubs us the wrong way. The biggie was that the DCM actually asked me NOT to go on my only vacation for the rest of the year so that her kids could attend. She was made aware of this vacation at the time that she enrolled......
I feel that I have a very good interview process, I don't know what else I could do differently.
Does anyone have this happen to them as well??
Familycare71 11:48 AM 07-28-2013
I have had parents seem put out by my vacations when they knew at enrollment what they are... I've even had some act surprised at the final reminder - which happens the last day of care before- (I give them a month, two week, one week and then last day of care reminders!) and look at me like I'm supposed to fix the fact that they don't have care! But I've never had anyone tell me not to go!! 
what did you say!?
what did you say!?
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:10 PM 07-28-2013
That is really odd. I would have had a very shocked look on my face and made it clear that my vacation was no negotiable and she had a lot of advance notice for it as she was given that notice on x date.
I haven't run into any issues with vacations/holiday closings thus far. Knock on wood....
I haven't run into any issues with vacations/holiday closings thus far. Knock on wood....
daycare 12:30 PM 07-28-2013
While I was very shocked and thrown off, I just replied with well, we are closed.
DCM actually then asked well can't your asst keep DC open and I said sorry no they can't. I don't get to relax when my business is still open, I am still having to deal with all of the stuff here that goes on in my home, even when I am gone. I need a mental break from everything and the only way to due that is to close completely.
My husband was mad that I was even answering any of her questions. But what was I supposed to do ignore her???
DCM actually then asked well can't your asst keep DC open and I said sorry no they can't. I don't get to relax when my business is still open, I am still having to deal with all of the stuff here that goes on in my home, even when I am gone. I need a mental break from everything and the only way to due that is to close completely.
My husband was mad that I was even answering any of her questions. But what was I supposed to do ignore her???
julie 01:54 PM 07-28-2013
I'd be shocked too. I also do not have ANY filter left anymore for this bull. I would probably play dumb about it rather than answer her questions, therefore
giving her more ammunition.
"I'm sorry DCM, I must have misheard you. I know you would NEVER be the type of person to ask me to NOT take much-needed time off, time off that was also planned and discussed with you when you SIGNED ON. I really would be shocked to find out you are that self involved to change plans that have been in the works for several months now. No, I think I misheard you. I'd hate to alter my high opinion of you by you confirming otherwise and EVER asking about this again. EVER. Good night." Shut door. Lights off.
giving her more ammunition.
"I'm sorry DCM, I must have misheard you. I know you would NEVER be the type of person to ask me to NOT take much-needed time off, time off that was also planned and discussed with you when you SIGNED ON. I really would be shocked to find out you are that self involved to change plans that have been in the works for several months now. No, I think I misheard you. I'd hate to alter my high opinion of you by you confirming otherwise and EVER asking about this again. EVER. Good night." Shut door. Lights off.
cheerfuldom 01:59 PM 07-28-2013
no one is going to be perfect....perhaps your expectations are too high. I have, overall, really great daycare parents. But they are just regular people, busy and distracted and forgetful at times too so yeah, I do still have to enforce rules and keep everyone in line. I am not perfect either so I wouldnt expect them to be. If she was asking about the vacation, you remind her about the contract and enforce your policy and life goes on, that seems pretty normal to me. I would however be upset if she threw a tantrum about it once the discussion was final.
Heidi 02:11 PM 07-28-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
no one is going to be perfect....perhaps your expectations are too high. I have, overall, really great daycare parents. But they are just regular people, busy and distracted and forgetful at times too so yeah, I do still have to enforce rules and keep everyone in line. I am not perfect either so I wouldnt expect them to be. If she was asking about the vacation, you remind her about the contract and enforce your policy and life goes on, that seems pretty normal to me. I would however be upset if she threw a tantrum about it once the discussion was final.
no one is going to be perfect....perhaps your expectations are too high. I have, overall, really great daycare parents. But they are just regular people, busy and distracted and forgetful at times too so yeah, I do still have to enforce rules and keep everyone in line. I am not perfect either so I wouldnt expect them to be. If she was asking about the vacation, you remind her about the contract and enforce your policy and life goes on, that seems pretty normal to me. I would however be upset if she threw a tantrum about it once the discussion was final.
Even when my sister was my dcp, after I'd been a dcp for quite a while, I STILL did things to piss her off. Not trying to, just happens sometimes.
daycare 02:21 PM 07-28-2013
I guess it's kind of the honey moon phase right. Lol
BABYLUVER21 02:30 PM 07-28-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have had a few years of some not so good families. BUT I do have to admit that a lot of it was because I was not using my backbone and trying to please everyone by doing special for them.
Well years have passed and I have done a complete turn around. HOWEVER, I just really really can't seem to pick the right families.
I ask all the right questions, make sure everything sounds great, not good GREAT between the parents and I. I am sure to go over my polices with them and during the trial period, remind them any time they overstep any of the policies. Usually by the end of the 2 week trial period, they know my policies very well and things are ok.
OF course every person puts their best foot forward in any relationship right?? It always seems that about a fews month or so into care, that some of the parents start to slack off. They start doing little things here and there and I am constantly having to tell someone HEY knock it off.
I just started a new family 3 months ago. My husband and I both LOVED these parents during the interview and even during their 3 months that they have been here. But all of a sudden, we are starting to see a lot of stuff that rubs us the wrong way. The biggie was that the DCM actually asked me NOT to go on my only vacation for the rest of the year so that her kids could attend. She was made aware of this vacation at the time that she enrolled......
I feel that I have a very good interview process, I don't know what else I could do differently.
Does anyone have this happen to them as well??
YES! I had a parent know that for a small trip, would be gone 5 days. I told her in Februrary of that year, when she signed, reminded everyone again in JUNE, and then 30 days before I went , I reminded again (so September for October trip). I was only open M-F and it so happened I'd go on my trip Wed of that week, thus missing only 2 days (plane scheduled 2 hours after daycare closed and I only asked for 1 hour early pickup that day). I'd be back by Sunday night that week and then back to work Monday morning. NO PROBLEM she says. She tells me she needed to use her vacation from work before end of year anyway, so this was perfect excuse. I have had a few years of some not so good families. BUT I do have to admit that a lot of it was because I was not using my backbone and trying to please everyone by doing special for them.
Well years have passed and I have done a complete turn around. HOWEVER, I just really really can't seem to pick the right families.
I ask all the right questions, make sure everything sounds great, not good GREAT between the parents and I. I am sure to go over my polices with them and during the trial period, remind them any time they overstep any of the policies. Usually by the end of the 2 week trial period, they know my policies very well and things are ok.
OF course every person puts their best foot forward in any relationship right?? It always seems that about a fews month or so into care, that some of the parents start to slack off. They start doing little things here and there and I am constantly having to tell someone HEY knock it off.
I just started a new family 3 months ago. My husband and I both LOVED these parents during the interview and even during their 3 months that they have been here. But all of a sudden, we are starting to see a lot of stuff that rubs us the wrong way. The biggie was that the DCM actually asked me NOT to go on my only vacation for the rest of the year so that her kids could attend. She was made aware of this vacation at the time that she enrolled......
I feel that I have a very good interview process, I don't know what else I could do differently.
Does anyone have this happen to them as well??
Then on the night BEFORE, I get a funny little call from a dcprovider friend of mine. What do you know, the parent told my friend she was attending a daycare and that 'the lady' she was using for care was leaving for a few days, wanted backup for the 2 days but also because I was so unreliable, she might switch her over. My friend asked her what her kids' names and ages were and before you know it she realized (since we always had outings together, field trips, etc where the kids were introduced) that those were MY dck's! So she calls and tells me. I told her I had no indication that this parent wanted to leave, and I'm sorry 2 days in however many years I took NO vacation is NOT being unreliable!
So I talked to mom and said "I just wanted to make sure that you were able to find backup or use your vacation time for next couple days" She said "Oh, yes, my work is giving me the time off" I said "Ok, well just making sure because I got the impression this week you were upset with my taking time off" she acted dumbfounded so I said "From the backup provider you called" She turned BRIGHT RED... then told me she felt I'd want to take more and more time off and that most providers take NO time off (really? EVER? They NEVER get sick or have something to do?)
At this point, I told her I was angry with her for #1 Going behind my back #2 not saying a word to me about the time off #3 making such assumptions without talking to me #4 HAVING the vacation time to take anyway PAID from her job and then complaining I was unavailable. I told her this was unacceptable behavior on her part and gave her a 2weeks notice. She was really upset and she begged me not to kick her out. I told her if she was going to do this to me once, she'd do it again and I could not have her go back and forth between providers talking about my unreliability and my not knowing if/when she'd just up and leave one day for no real reason. She then said "Well, I wasn't thrilled with care anyway" I said "Exactly what I'm talking about, you had NO problem til I give you notice where you beg me not to kick you out, and when you don't get an answer you want, you're "not happy" with my care? Seriously exactly why I'm doing this!" I told her that in fact, because she's told me she was so unhappy, I was no longer comfortable keeping the children anyway and there would be NO refunds, and that *I* would call my licensor to keep her up to date on the situation as I grabbed her things and gave the children a hug and said my goodbyes.
Needless to say, she never contacted me again OR any of the dcp's in the same area.
Evansmom 03:57 PM 07-28-2013
OP I know what you are taking about and it's one if the big reasons I'm shutting down my daycare.
Over the past 5 years I've had great and not so great parents but recently it seemed I'd have these awesome interviews where I went over everything, and like you I asked all the right questions, even introduced them to my whole family and the interview went so well. Then something went horribly wrong somewhere in the first few months and they would leave or I ended up terming, one family got termed effective immediately.
NOT the way I imagined running this business when I started! I've been in the teaching and childcare industry for 20 years so I didn't go into this a newbie. But still I kept picking the "wrong" parents.
It got to where I just couldn't interview anymore because I didn't trust my instincts.
The hiring and firing got so stressful it wasn't worth it anymore.
Over the past 5 years I've had great and not so great parents but recently it seemed I'd have these awesome interviews where I went over everything, and like you I asked all the right questions, even introduced them to my whole family and the interview went so well. Then something went horribly wrong somewhere in the first few months and they would leave or I ended up terming, one family got termed effective immediately.
NOT the way I imagined running this business when I started! I've been in the teaching and childcare industry for 20 years so I didn't go into this a newbie. But still I kept picking the "wrong" parents.
It got to where I just couldn't interview anymore because I didn't trust my instincts.
The hiring and firing got so stressful it wasn't worth it anymore.