Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Just curious
B Lou 07:19 AM 01-10-2014
Just curious if the rest of you providers have a go to provider. A provider when you're just having one of those days where you need to talk to another provider. Someone who understand s our jobs and daily frustration?

I had a provider who I thought was a good friend and for reason that clueless to me we have parted ways. It's been a few months now.

So even though I can talk to my husband or my adult children, they just don't get it.

So just curious how many of you have another provider you can call for support.

Thanks in advance.
Reply
mountainside13 07:25 AM 01-10-2014
I don't have anyone either. Just forums recently. Which might be why a few of my posts seem "complainy?" :-) I just have my husband and he really doesn't get it. There are a few providers around me but I don't know them.
Reply
melilley 07:28 AM 01-10-2014
I don't have another provider to talk to, but my sis is a huge supporter. She listens to me about daycare and I listen to her about her nursing career.

And I come here. Everyone on here is awesome!
Reply
B Lou 07:29 AM 01-10-2014
yes this "friend" of mine was great to talk to. Talked daily. Now there have been some bad days where like I said my husband just don't get it. I would lie I miss the talks we had. But just need that person where we can turn and say" are you kidding me"? This child did what.
Reply
daycare 07:30 AM 01-10-2014
I have one that lives here in town, but I talk with caution. I am not a very trusting person.

That's why I love this form. I can speak freely without concern or judgement.
Reply
melilley 07:32 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by B Lou:
yes this "friend" of mine was great to talk to. Talked daily. Now there have been some bad days where like I said my husband just don't get it. I would lie I miss the talks we had. But just need that person where we can turn and say" are you kidding me"? This child did what.
I know what you mean. My dh sometimes gets what I'm talking about, but that's far and in between. I still tell him things whether he wants to hear it or not, sometimes it's just good to get it out!...

Come here whenever you need to! I know you're not technically talking to someone "in person", but, close!
Reply
Lianne 07:33 AM 01-10-2014
I have a group of 12 or so other providers who I chat on and off with all day on Facebook. We met on a private board where we all operate similarly, taking no fluff and working in reality instead of the rainbow-hued clouds and, even though some of us are across country from each other, we've really bonded and become close friends. I can sit down for 5mins and vent then go off and do snack time, knowing someone is almost always there and will curse my frustrations right along beside me. We celebrate the good things, console any losses, encourage and support each other when we need it. I am so fortunate to have this group of women as friends.
Reply
craftymissbeth 07:47 AM 01-10-2014
I have two from my town that I talk to. I really limit my questions and what I say to them, though, because this is a small town and things can get catty fast.

One used to be my nephews' provider and she sends me infants she can't take. She's been operating for 7 years and everyone loves her so I trust her opinion.

The other used to be licensed, but lost her license when the state started requiring providers have a HS diploma or GED. She's currently operating illegally unlicensed... therefore I don't go to her too often. I just don't agree with her choice.

They both added me to FB and we talk on there sometimes. I've actually never met them in person
Reply
B Lou 07:55 AM 01-10-2014
Maybe that is where the problem lied between me and this other provider. Maybe I trusted her to much. And talked to openly.

It has been a hard few months.
Reply
KIDZRMYBIZ 08:23 AM 01-10-2014
I had a great provider friend that lived just 3 blocks from me. We even walked our kids to one another's houses once in a while for a change of scenery, and we texted all the time. It was great fun! But then she could take it no more and quit last year. I still miss the comraderie SO MUCH! Now, I just have this forum, so I suppose it's time to start networking!
Reply
DaycareMomma 08:42 AM 01-10-2014
I have a fellow provider in my town that I talk to. Her and I chat quite a bit. Usually just to vent our frustrations, but we've also become good friends. We go out and do things and go places together. Its nice to have another adult who knows exactly what I am dealing with. Heck I had a family leave me and go to her on a recommendation from me. Their child was no longer fitting into my program and they asked who I would take my kids to, so I told them!
Reply
Great Beginnings 08:51 AM 01-10-2014
My best friend is a provider in another town. We talk, complain and rant every morning as kids are arriving lol! It makes it so nice to have someone to bounce off things and laugh at crazy parents. We aren't in the same town so there's not that feeling of competition.
Reply
Annalee 08:55 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by B Lou:
Just curious if the rest of you providers have a go to provider. A provider when you're just having one of those days where you need to talk to another provider. Someone who understand s our jobs and daily frustration?

I had a provider who I thought was a good friend and for reason that clueless to me we have parted ways. It's been a few months now.

So even though I can talk to my husband or my adult children, they just don't get it.

So just curious how many of you have another provider you can call for support.

Thanks in advance.
We have a regional FCC support group meeting quarterly and a couple county providers that form a local support group. We all text/call/email as needed. Both groups are relatively small but are great sounding boards/encouragement/assistance/leadership and are passionate about children. Strength is not necessarily in numbers but in TRUE friends/leaders/mentors/confidants...
Reply
KIDZRMYBIZ 09:56 AM 01-10-2014
I go to provider support groups, too. There are 3 for my area alone, and more if I want to drive out further. I have enjoyed the meetings, but so many of the women are so fiercely competitive! It really turns me off!
Reply
Annalee 10:03 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
I know what you mean. My dh sometimes gets what I'm talking about, but that's far and in between. I still tell him things whether he wants to hear it or not, sometimes it's just good to get it out!...

Come here whenever you need to! I know you're not technically talking to someone "in person", but, close!
My dh doesn't want to hear anything about daycare!
Reply
Sugar Magnolia 11:28 AM 01-10-2014
Maybe its just me, but I prefer not to be friends with other providers in my immediate area. I made a great pen pal friend here who lives really far away but we talk over text and email almost every day. Sometimes its just better that way. I kinda like having local friends that are not associated with daycare, know what I mean?
Reply
thetoddlerwhisper 11:30 AM 01-10-2014
i talk sometimes to my manchild but he just doesnt get it and tends to only hear what he wants to hear. so if i need to really get something out i come here
Reply
Sugar Magnolia 11:39 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by athacker:
i talk sometimes to my manchild but he just doesnt get it and tends to only hear what he wants to hear. so if i need to really get something out i come here
Manchild!
Reply
thetoddlerwhisper 11:40 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Manchild!
well he acts like one
Reply
My3cents 11:41 AM 01-10-2014
I like coming here for support from other providers who get me and what I do-

real life I prefer friends that don't do daycare because after being in it all week for long hours, its the last thing I want to talk about or be around. I love the kids, I just like my off time and family time too
Reply
Annalee 11:44 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by My3cents:
I like coming here for support from other providers who get me and what I do-

real life I prefer friends that don't do daycare because after being in it all week for long hours, its the last thing I want to talk about or be around. I love the kids, I just like my off time and family time too
I spend time with dc friends, family or whoever, but what gets on my nerves during these times is when other adults expect me to watch "all the kids" because that is what I know how to do. Well, watch your own kids because I need down time, too. Just because I can make them mind doesn't take away the parents responsibility during an outing. Let me be!!!
Reply
JoseyJo 12:07 PM 01-10-2014
I don't have any local provider friends. I know lots of local providers but it seems like it would be a conflict of interest to be really good friends with one. There would be lots of chances for hurt feelings. Most of the local providers I know I do things totally different than they do, different program set up etc. I can see where there could be situations where they didn't agree w/ how I did something, or might not think they are doing something right. Also there this the aspect of competition where a family might interview w/ both of us and choose them over me, or me over them, and feelings would be hurt even though logically we all know that we are different and different families are better fits for different providers.

That's why I love this forum! Plenty of providers from all walks to talk to, commiserate with, get ideas from, with no problems of local competition
Reply
blandino 12:10 PM 01-10-2014
I am very lucky that I have 3 local provider friends who I can turn to. One of which I know from high school, the other two I have actually met through daycare.com, and later found out they lived locally. One of them lives only 2.5 miles from me ! We all discuss all sorts of things and are very open and honest with each other. We all also are very open about not being upset/angry/jealous if clients come and go between us or if we have different opinions about how to handle childcare issues. We know that different childcare arrangements work for different families. Two of the providers I talk to frequently, all live within 3 miles of me. So we are dealing with the same pool of clients and interviewing all the same people. So it would be impossible for us to be friends if we took things too personally. Having those ladies to bounce things off of and vent to is an absolute LIFESAVER !

But I am also very lucky and grateful for the advice I receive from this forum. Having a non-biased, honest, and helps me figure out when I am being biased or unfair - and I love having that reality check. Love this forum.
Reply
Cat Herder 12:13 PM 01-10-2014
That is what I use this forum for. I have talked over the phone, facebook, email and text to folks from here.

One awesome mod even sent us a second of one of our favorite independent time toys when she stopped using it. (You know who you are )

It is so cool to get a range of responses. If I don't learn new things occasionally my mind will go stagnant. I also get confirmation on things that simply work for me.
Reply
JoseyJo 12:32 PM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by blandino:
We all discuss all sorts of things and are very open and honest with each other. We all also are very open about not being upset/angry/jealous if clients come and go between us or if we have different opinions about how to handle childcare issues. We know that different childcare arrangements work for different families. Two of the providers I talk to frequently, all live within 3 miles of me. So we are dealing with the same pool of clients and interviewing all the same people. So it would be impossible for us to be friends if we took things too personally. !
This is what I would have if I could! It would be difficult not to be upset if I KNEW the provider another parent chose to go with, but it really is the nature of the game.
Reply
Jack Sprat 12:41 PM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have one that lives here in town, but I talk with caution. I am not a very trusting person.

That's why I love this form. I can speak freely without concern or judgement.


And DH. He listens as best he can and tells me to go ask those dc ladies (you all) when he isn't sure about what advice to give.
Reply
daycare 01:07 PM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Maybe its just me, but I prefer not to be friends with other providers in my immediate area. I made a great pen pal friend here who lives really far away but we talk over text and email almost every day. Sometimes its just better that way. I kinda like having local friends that are not associated with daycare, know what I mean?
I can understand that. I agree that it is much easier when you are not in direct competition with them. I honestly don't see other providers as competition. I see that we all work so differently and offer different things that I could not possibly appease every person. BUT I think that some people just don't see it that way.

Even with that said, it is just easier. I am pretty sure that target does not sit down with walmart to discuss the way they run their business or try to agree to do things a certain way....lol
Reply
Heidi 06:47 PM 01-13-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
I can understand that. I agree that it is much easier when you are not in direct competition with them. I honestly don't see other providers as competition. I see that we all work so differently and offer different things that I could not possibly appease every person. BUT I think that some people just don't see it that way.

Even with that said, it is just easier. I am pretty sure that target does not sit down with walmart to discuss the way they run their business or try to agree to do things a certain way....lol
At one point, I mentored both my sister and a close friend as they became daycare providers. We all lived in the same neighborhood within 1/2 mile. We backed each other up, shared leads, had "code words" to save our sanity, took walks together, and even co-managed a few field trips. We also watched each other's own kids once in a while. It's was very cool.

Now, I live in a rural area, and the only other dcp I know that's been here was CountryGal, who recently quit DC and moved to Tennessee. Now, I think my closet neighbor is BC...lol.
Reply
Tags:burnout, depression, isolated
Reply Up