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small_steps 10:04 AM 12-06-2011
Does anyone ever put a child back on probation because of bad behavior? He's been with me a long time and I love him dearly. But he has in the past few months become extremely hard for me to handle. He throws toys, fits, hits friends, hits me (only a few times), screams at me and everyone else. Yesterday my helper worked and said "wow...I didn't realize he had gotten so bad". She only subs for me occasionally now instead of the full time helper she used to be, so she hasn't seen him in a while but I have told her about him. I don't think she believed me until yesterday about how hard to tolerate he has become.
Anyway, he didn't used to be this way. He is almost 3 and now the other children are starting to copy his behavior and I do not want that. I have been thinking of terminating him for a while now but today, he destroyed another childs property and I've just had enough. I want to terminate and probably will give termination paper today. However, have any of you used a probation technique when terminating? For example, his care will be terminated at the end of the month unless there is a significant change in his behavior towards me and the other children. Or should I just say he will be terminated and just be done with it. This is so hard for me because his mom is so sweet and I've had him for almost 2 years and he used to be so good.
Zoe 10:09 AM 12-06-2011
Have you mentioned his behavior to mom? If you haven't, then I'd give probation. It wouldn't be great if you out of the blue terminated. If you have mentioned it before and tried to work with her different things to help the behavior, then I'd terminate.
small_steps 10:31 AM 12-06-2011
Oh yes, I've mentioned it to her before. I've tried separating him, using timeouts...tried rewarding good behavior. Nothing has worked so far. She knows it's coming. I guess I should just terminate. I've tried everything I can think of and still nothing has worked. I had to term his school age sister last summer. I think he is picking up her bad behavior.'
Ariana 10:49 AM 12-06-2011
I've never dealt with this problem, but my contract states that there will be a "sit down" meeting with the parents regarding the behavior and a "plan" will be set up. If needed when the behavior is violent the child may be removed from the daycare for a while until the parents and caregiver can sort out what to do next. From there if the behavior is not improving the child will be terminated for the safety of the other children.
small_steps 10:57 AM 12-06-2011
I need to put something in my contract about that. I should sit down with both parents and have a discussion. Dad is an alcoholic and makes me so uncomfortable but really both should probably be there. I know any suggestions they have probably won't work because he does these same things to his mom.
laundrymom 11:18 AM 12-06-2011
I'm interested in seeing the replies to this as today I had to text dad for reinforcement. The last time I had to do it was a girl named Katie. Katie is graduating college this spring. So it's not sOmething I'm used to. I'm wondering how probation will work with my guy.
Springdaze 11:24 AM 12-06-2011
I did it once because the kid was dangerous and very disrespectful to me and his parents so I knew they didnt do anthing to stop the behavior. I gave him 2 weeks but said I could terminate at anytime if things got dangerous. He lasted a week then threw a chair at my at that time 5 month old son, so when his dad came I told him he couldnt come back.

How are you going to explain to a "good" childs parent when the one who always acts up hurts their child. The other parents probably know how this child behaves and are tired of it.
small_steps 11:56 AM 12-06-2011
I'm hoping to stop it before it gets to that. I'm going to type up the termination letter during nap if my own child ever goes to sleep that is. I have several people calling for Childcare so it isn't that I'm worried about not being able to repace him. Guess it's more, how Manu chances does one child get before it's time to go.
karen 12:37 PM 12-06-2011
Hi Small Steps,
Have you documented all of this behavior? Maybe filled out some observation forms on him or written down in a notebook the things he is doing? He could be a candidate for a help me grow specialist. They come in before the child is 3, to the parents house, and help them with techniques on handling their child. You have to suggest this to the parents and they may not be willing to do this. Sometimes these things work sometimes not at all it depends on the parents and if they would be into something like that. But if you are at your witts end with this child say bye bye! Keep your sanity no one should be abused by a child.
I worked for abused children for a few years it was not fun and oh my gosh I do not miss getting hit, punched, kicked, spit on, bit and I could keep going yes all by 3's, 4's, and 5's!
Tags:discipline - consistency, discipline - notifying parent, discipline plan
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