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  #1  
Old 02-05-2014, 07:33 AM
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Default I Think I Might Understand Now...

So I often read threads on here where the provider is upset/annoyed when parents bring their child to daycare when they are off or, lately, on "snow days." Well, (don't get mad!) but I always thought, "Why do I care what they are doing? They are paying me."

Well, now I think I understand a little. We got a snowstorm overnight. I don't close for snow days because I have parents who have to work regardless, but I do have one tot who's father is a teacher. I know for a fact that he doesn't have to go to work today. The child is here anyways and I am absolutely certain it is because he is going through a very difficult stage and they don't want to deal with it. They drove more than half and hour on unplowed roads and by accidents/stranded vehicles just to drop him off. It takes a lot of effort, energy, and patience to work with this child and I am not ashamed to say that I looked forward to a break.

So sorry ladies! I understand better now that maybe you just need a break from your "renegade" child too!

Last edited by Leanna; 02-05-2014 at 07:42 AM. Reason: correct spelling
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Old 02-05-2014, 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
So I often read threads on here where the provider is upset/annoyed when parents bring their child to daycare when they are off or, lately, on "snow days." Well, (don't get mad!) but I always thought, "Why do I care what they are doing? They are paying me."

Well, now I think I understand a little. We got a snowstorm overnight. I don't close for snow days because I have parents who have to work regardless, but I do have one tot who's father is a teacher. I know for a fact that he doesn't have to go to work today. The child is here anyways and I am absolutely certain it is because he is going through a very difficult stage and they don't want to deal with it. They drove more than half and hour on unplowed roads and by accidents/stranded vehicles just to drop him off. It takes a lot of effort, energy, and patience to work with this child and I am not ashamed to say that I looked forward to a break.

So sorry ladies! I understand better now that maybe you just need a break from your "renegade" child too!


It IS weird but one missing/absent child (regardless of how well behaved) can seriously change a group's dynamics.

Bummer that little guys' parents felt the need to drive in unsafe conditions just to not have to spend the day with their child.

For those situations, I can't help but gush at pick up what a FABULOUS child so'Nso is and how much fun we had that day and too bad mom/dad missed out on that.
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:10 AM
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For those situations, I can't help but gush at pick up what a FABULOUS child so'Nso is and how much fun we had that day and too bad mom/dad missed out on that.
Be careful with that. I did the same (even sent photos) and it BACKFIRED big time when we were iced over in an official "State of Emergency".

Two others who had kept their kids home on the first day felt their kids must have missed out on how much fun we were having and brought theirs the next day, too.... Then they proceeded to text for photos all afternoon from home.

Too bad my cell phone died.
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:17 AM
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Be careful with that. I did the same (even sent photos) and it BACKFIRED big time when we were iced over in an official "State of Emergency".

Two others who had kept their kids home on the first day felt their kids must have missed out on how much fun we were having and brought theirs the next day, too.... Then they proceeded to text for photos all afternoon from home.

Too bad my cell phone died.
Yeah, I've had my fair share of "those" types of parents too....

If only we could have that perfect group of parents but sadly it seems there is always going to be "that one" that has to be different huh?
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:21 AM
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Yeah, I've had my fair share of "those" types of parents too....

If only we could have that perfect group of parents but sadly it seems there is always going to be "that one" that has to be different huh?
Mine are usually pretty good... They have all been here (barring one family) for 3-5 years now. The behaviors always begin to build around Christmas and dissipate by Spring. Winter cray cray...

OK, so not "always" but lately and for a few years...
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
So I often read threads on here where the provider is upset/annoyed when parents bring their child to daycare when they are off or, lately, on "snow days." Well, (don't get mad!) but I always thought, "Why do I care what they are doing? They are paying me."

Well, now I think I understand a little. We got a snowstorm overnight. I don't close for snow days because I have parents who have to work regardless, but I do have one tot who's father is a teacher. I know for a fact that he doesn't have to go to work today. The child is here anyways and I am absolutely certain it is because he is going through a very difficult stage and they don't want to deal with it. They drove more than half and hour on unplowed roads and by accidents/stranded vehicles just to drop him off. It takes a lot of effort, energy, and patience to work with this child and I am not ashamed to say that I looked forward to a break.

So sorry ladies! I understand better now that maybe you just need a break from your "renegade" child too!
For me, it's one thing if a person HAS to work, and another when they drop off in dangerous conditions just for a "me" day. My frustration grew earlier this winter when we had a horrible storm mid- day and I had one child being dropped off when all the others were getting picked up. So, I had to figure out a time to shovel the driveway, salt the stairs, etc. for one family when all the others were dashing out to avoid the storm, and were long gone. The kicker-dcm wasn't even working that day. Why risk it? I just don't understand. If you can stay home, you should keep off the roads, and stay safe. Your child's safety should be priority. End vent!
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
So I often read threads on here where the provider is upset/annoyed when parents bring their child to daycare when they are off or, lately, on "snow days." Well, (don't get mad!) but I always thought, "Why do I care what they are doing? They are paying me."

Well, now I think I understand a little. We got a snowstorm overnight. I don't close for snow days because I have parents who have to work regardless, but I do have one tot who's father is a teacher. I know for a fact that he doesn't have to go to work today. The child is here anyways and I am absolutely certain it is because he is going through a very difficult stage and they don't want to deal with it. They drove more than half and hour on unplowed roads and by accidents/stranded vehicles just to drop him off. It takes a lot of effort, energy, and patience to work with this child and I am not ashamed to say that I looked forward to a break.

So sorry ladies! I understand better now that maybe you just need a break from your "renegade" child too!
When I first opened a little over a year ago my policies and closing days were very different. And I "felt bad" about a lot more stuff, like closing early to bring my child to an appointment and such. I rarely closed other than major holidays, and had the idea of "I'll stay open for those who NEED me". I had done a lot of research beforehand, looking at other daycare policies and closing days, and didn't understand why some daycares would close on certain days or why they had certain policies. It didn't take long before I was realizing "aha, that's why!" Most of my policies have changed as situations arise. I view everything as a learning experience. The situations aren't fun to go through, but then you learn from them and amend policies to avoid it in the future and make everything smoother. I don't "feel bad" as much anymore because I now know that parents don't feel bad when taking advantage.

In my experience it's always the children with the worst behavior that will be here regardless of weather or parents being home!

This is my first time closing on a snow day. I changed my policy after many times staying open for those who HAD to work then found out they weren't working after all. There are a few things that really get under my skin and kids being here when the parent is home is one of them, aside from a parent needing an occasional down day because I understand that. But the repeat offenders are the ones that bother me. These children are with me for the majority of their awake hours ALL WEEK LONG! They would hugely benefit from spending a day home with their parents, and the fact that the parents choose not to spend time with their child amazes me! You can not get these years back!

I am not charging for snow days and it seems to have softened the blow and one mom even seemed excited!
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Old 02-05-2014, 09:58 AM
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I am new at daycare and I already understand this. Today happens to be a day that dcd brought kids to me while dcm had the day off. I don't get it because the kids could have slept in a little plus the weather is horrible and they know I have to load everybody up to pick up school kids.

My sil also brings my nephew to his daycare on her day off so she can do housework. It's kind of a joke between my husband and I. She drives probably an hour roundtrip to do this. I don't get it!
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Old 02-05-2014, 10:55 AM
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When I first opened a little over a year ago my policies and closing days were very different. And I "felt bad" about a lot more stuff, like closing early to bring my child to an appointment and such. I rarely closed other than major holidays, and had the idea of "I'll stay open for those who NEED me". I had done a lot of research beforehand, looking at other daycare policies and closing days, and didn't understand why some daycares would close on certain days or why they had certain policies. It didn't take long before I was realizing "aha, that's why!" Most of my policies have changed as situations arise. I view everything as a learning experience. The situations aren't fun to go through, but then you learn from them and amend policies to avoid it in the future and make everything smoother. I don't "feel bad" as much anymore because I now know that parents don't feel bad when taking advantage.

In my experience it's always the children with the worst behavior that will be here regardless of weather or parents being home!

This is my first time closing on a snow day. I changed my policy after many times staying open for those who HAD to work then found out they weren't working after all. There are a few things that really get under my skin and kids being here when the parent is home is one of them, aside from a parent needing an occasional down day because I understand that. But the repeat offenders are the ones that bother me. These children are with me for the majority of their awake hours ALL WEEK LONG! They would hugely benefit from spending a day home with their parents, and the fact that the parents choose not to spend time with their child amazes me! You can not get these years back!

I am not charging for snow days and it seems to have softened the blow and one mom even seemed excited!
I bolded above. Not only does it benefit the child it benefits the provider to have a break from a child. Not that the child is bad or something wrong with the child or me. It is just nice to get a breath of fresh air once in a while. We spend many hours of time with these children. We love them, but just as I understand the need for a break day for the parents, please understand that I enjoy that time too- It truly makes me a better provider. No issues other then a change for a day for both the child and provider-

I charge no matter if here or not. I have to be able to depend upon a weekly income.
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Old 02-05-2014, 11:02 AM
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I am new at daycare and I already understand this. Today happens to be a day that dcd brought kids to me while dcm had the day off. I don't get it because the kids could have slept in a little plus the weather is horrible and they know I have to load everybody up to pick up school kids.

My sil also brings my nephew to his daycare on her day off so she can do housework. It's kind of a joke between my husband and I. She drives probably an hour roundtrip to do this. I don't get it!
Its allowed. In my handbook I am specific that I am not a babysitter. I am a provider. I am here for when your working or in school. When your not working or in school you need to be with your child. I also tell my parents I understand the need for a "me" day but be honest with me and tell me that your taking a day for yourself. This also informs me of where the parent is going to be if not at work in case I need to contact them for an emergency situation. Cell phones don't always come through as a reliable way of contacting a parent. Most of my parents are good about this- because I have been up front with them from day one on how I like to run my daycare. I don't want to be viewed as a babysitter- babysitters get paid more then me for less work and hours-
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Old 02-05-2014, 11:34 AM
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I closed at 1 today for a SOE. THREE parents picked up in pjs. They weren't planning on coming early, the road the intersects with mine is closed and dcm made a statement about an accident around the corner (why risk it, was the gist) and I said "You did."


end of conversation. Awkward silence until she signed out and left, too.
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Old 02-05-2014, 11:56 AM
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This is my first time closing on a snow day. I changed my policy after many times staying open for those who HAD to work then found out they weren't working after all. There are a few things that really get under my skin and kids being here when the parent is home is one of them, aside from a parent needing an occasional down day because I understand that. But the repeat offenders are the ones that bother me. These children are with me for the majority of their awake hours ALL WEEK LONG! They would hugely benefit from spending a day home with their parents, and the fact that the parents choose not to spend time with their child amazes me! You can not get these years back!
I have a dcb who is here EVERY day (except once) dcm has off. During Christmas, the whole family except dcb went to grandma's to make Christmas cookies. Dcb is a good little guy so I don't get it. Sad and you're right, you can't get these years back, just wish some people would see that.
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Old 02-05-2014, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
So I often read threads on here where the provider is upset/annoyed when parents bring their child to daycare when they are off or, lately, on "snow days." Well, (don't get mad!) but I always thought, "Why do I care what they are doing? They are paying me."

Well, now I think I understand a little. We got a snowstorm overnight. I don't close for snow days because I have parents who have to work regardless, but I do have one tot who's father is a teacher. I know for a fact that he doesn't have to go to work today. The child is here anyways and I am absolutely certain it is because he is going through a very difficult stage and they don't want to deal with it. They drove more than half and hour on unplowed roads and by accidents/stranded vehicles just to drop him off. It takes a lot of effort, energy, and patience to work with this child and I am not ashamed to say that I looked forward to a break.

So sorry ladies! I understand better now that maybe you just need a break from your "renegade" child too!
I didn't enjoy taking children whose parents I KNEW didn't work because they almost ALWAYS would be LATE picking up because "they lost track of time", "fell asleep" , or "My hair appt went OVER". It's like they respected my time LESS when they had ALL day to ensure that they could get their child ON TIME since WORK didn't implement or require them to be there for a shift. Grrr.
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Old 02-05-2014, 02:43 PM
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I closed at 1 today for a SOE. THREE parents picked up in pjs. They weren't planning on coming early, the road the intersects with mine is closed and dcm made a statement about an accident around the corner (why risk it, was the gist) and I said "You did."


end of conversation. Awkward silence until she signed out and left, too.
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Old 02-05-2014, 05:14 PM
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I don't mind so much if the parent does it once in a blue moon and is honest about it. But I have one mom who always has to tell me that she loves spending time with her kids and she never uses a babysitter and she can't stand how other parents do things without their children. Yet every storm and holiday she is trying to get me to watch her child! She claims she needs to spend time with her other child or needs to get things done. I'm a parent too and I understand that she needs this but I don't need the whole show that goes along to cover her quilt.
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Old 02-05-2014, 06:09 PM
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I don't mind so much if the parent does it once in a blue moon and is honest about it. But I have one mom who always has to tell me that she loves spending time with her kids and she never uses a babysitter and she can't stand how other parents do things without their children. Yet every storm and holiday she is trying to get me to watch her child! She claims she needs to spend time with her other child or needs to get things done. I'm a parent too and I understand that she needs this but I don't need the whole show that goes along to cover her quilt.
I have a parent like this too. She has three kids. And she can't even manage to go to the gas station with her kids. She constantly wants to stop and run errands at midnight in the way home from work because she doesn't want to take he kids. I tell her " I'm sorry, but if I can take 7 kids everywhere with me, you can take three"

Of course, I don't mind the occasional thing or something like a dr appointment etc. I don't get down time but I understand the need for it. But. If you CHOOSE to have three kids, you should learn to stop and get a loaf of bread with three kids ya no??

I took six additional kids to my daughters basketball practice last night. And I had five additional kids at my daughters and sins basketball games every Saturday.. I get it. I do. But I do contracted hours for a reason.
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Old 02-05-2014, 07:33 PM
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I have a parent like this too. She has three kids. And she can't even manage to go to the gas station with her kids. She constantly wants to stop and run errands at midnight in the way home from work because she doesn't want to take he kids. I tell her " I'm sorry, but if I can take 7 kids everywhere with me, you can take three"
She wants you to take her kids at midnight? Confused, you must do night care?
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Old 02-05-2014, 07:53 PM
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She wants you to take her kids at midnight? Confused, you must do night care?
I do day evening and night care. Contracted only for work shifts. Sometimes I have the two smaller ones from 10:30 am until she gets off work at closing somewhere between 9:30 pm and 10:30 pm.

The mom of the other three I normally have fir from 3:30 pm until midnight when she gets off work. The boy stays overnight Friday night in my sons room because he plays basketball with my son and their games are at 8:00 am on Saturday mornings and the mom is too lazy to get up and take him to his ball games. I also sponsored him and paid for his fee to play ball because she didn't supposedly have the money. Then she brings the two girls in Saturdays usually at 12:30 pm and they get picked up at midnight thirty. And I have he other two on Saturdays also. Then Sundays I get all the kids about 11:30 pm until closing Sunday night about 11:00 pm.

So yes, to answer your question, I watch days, evenings, and nights any day of the week for contracted care only.
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:04 PM
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I have a parent like this too. She has three kids. And she can't even manage to go to the gas station with her kids. She constantly wants to stop and run errands at midnight in the way home from work because she doesn't want to take he kids. I tell her " I'm sorry, but if I can take 7 kids everywhere with me, you can take three"
My assistant has a sister like this. She has 2 kids, 18 months apart. And can't even manage to take them both to the store.
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Old 02-05-2014, 10:56 PM
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Ha! I remember seeing my friend shopping alone at Costco right before Thanksgiving while her sister babysat and I was 9mos pregnant and had 4 kids with me (8,8,3 & 1) and it was like you really can't handle 2??
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Old 02-05-2014, 11:02 PM
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My assistant has a sister like this. She has 2 kids, 18 months apart. And can't even manage to take them both to the store.
My mom always says that she can't understand how we have parents who can't handle their one child at a store. She always says, "When your sister was born" (I am the oldest) "I had three of you 5 and under, and we went everywhere."
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Old 02-06-2014, 06:49 AM
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It is sad, right? I have a child like that here, too, and they have been here over 1.5 years and have kept the child home a grand total of 5 times due to illness. They got mad at me when their child was ill two weeks in a row (each Friday). They have one child and always tell me how much they got done without him home. Then I have parents who come the minute they get off of work, they are happy to keep them home with them on holidays, etc.


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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Yeah, I've had my fair share of "those" types of parents too....

If only we could have that perfect group of parents but sadly it seems there is always going to be "that one" that has to be different huh?
Always always always.
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Old 02-06-2014, 07:12 AM
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It used to really irritate me when parents did this when I was first starting out in child care. IT's been 12 years now and I deal with it a bit better. A couple of the kids I care for are absolutely amazing! They are the very best behaved, have exceptional manners, helpful etc! There parents seem like they don't want anything to do with them. It absolutely breaks my heart! One little girl who will be 3 in May and has been with me since 3 months old had a flu bug a couple of weeks ago. Her mom texted me at 5am letting me know the little girl was up all night vomiting and wouldn't be at daycare. By 10am the dad texted me saying she was doing better and wanted to know if he could drop her off at 12 noon? I was shocked. I told them no the policy is 24 hour vomit free. Same thing happens with the little boy. Mom usually hangs out with the 7 year old daughter but just can't seem to want to be with her little boy. I once said he is so good why don't you want to bring him along with his sister? Instantly I felt like I put my foot in my mouth. The look of guilt across her face and the excuses that followed. I just couldn't help myself though. Naughty me!

These are the times I really feel that our jobs are so very important. We aren't just watching kids. We are in fact raising peoples kids. They are learning EVERYTHING they know from US. That's a big responsibility. But, I really love what I do and really love these kiddos so I keep on going. It just shows me that there are lots of different kinds of people in this world.
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