On one specific page in my contract, I list out my days that I'm closed. I make sure to go over that page with people during the interview and I tell them to write the days that I will be closed on a calendar or tear the list out of the contract (which is why I put it on it's own sheet of paper listed out) and put the list on their refrigerator so they can look and see when I will be closed. Then I tell them that I try to remind them throughout the year that a day is coming up that I will be closed, but that I don't always remember to remind people which is why I've given them a list so ahead of time.

No matter what, there's ALWAYS someone who doesn't acknowledge the list of days off in the contract and shows up for daycare and gets mad as all Hell that I'm closed! Then they blame me for not reminding them - even though I told them on the interview that I don't always remind them and that they need to acknowledge the list of days closed that I give them on the interview. Schools (elementary, middle, and high schools) don't call parents or send home a reminder notice that school will be closed on an upcoming day. They give you a school calendar which includes their days closed for the year and it's up to you to acknowledge their one school calendar that they give you. Why is it that parents of younger children need us to give them constant reminders of things like this? They won't get constant reminders once their child is in real school.

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I usually do give a reminder a week or so ahead of time. I forget things all the time, so I figure everyone else does also. Then if they show up I am still closed. It surprises me how many are closed for Columbus Day though since so may schools and places of work are open.

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My days closed have nothing to do with public school or any other company's days closed.

In this particular case, though, I wasn't feeling well all week last week and then I wound up in the hospital! So I was a bit too ill to remember that I was closed on an upcoming day. I was kind of busy being sick and being in the hospital.

I used to make monthly newsletters and in those newsletters, I wrote the days that I would be closed that month. I still had parents show up on my closed days and holler at me for being closed. It really just boils down to them not acknowledging things you tell them or papers that you give them and them only caring about their needs/wants rather than your company policies, rules, days off, etc.

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I send home reminders. I also put it in the monthly newsletters and the weekly notes that go home and post it on both bulletin boards and put in on both sides of my door the day before. It would be great if everyone remembered but sadly that doesn't always happen so I would rather over remind than have to deal with them showing up on my day off and being pissy.

PS My kid's school district does send home closed reminders the day or week before and they robocall to remind as well.

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Yes our school does the robo call for reminders and remind students.

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I wish everyone was organized, wrote things on their calendars etc. But they don't.

If I have a holiday or random closed day coming up. It is in the monthly newsletter, and I post a note on my door the week before.

Ex: "Looking forward to my brother's wedding this weekend! I'm closed Thursday - Sunday. Have a great long weekend with your family! See you Monday!"

I'm sorry you were ill, I would have forgotten to remind them too.

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Our school does not give reminders and I never forget. I know I forget everything so I make it a point to write it on the calendar as soon as I get the yearly schedule. There is no excuse. It must just be a thing these days..the same reason the doctors/dentist etc. calls me about an appointment I scheduled and calls to confirm I'm coming. It annoys me. I put it on my calendar. If I wasn't coming I'd cancel..but I guess these days a lot of people don't have any personal responsibility.

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I am not sure it is always about personal responsibility. Now getting mad because they forgot is out of line. But people have so much going on these days I think people sometimes get overwhelmed which is why I do give reminders. Now once I give the reminder I expect them to follow through. I am the kind of person I have to write down everything or I will forget. I know that so I do write things down, so there are things people can do. I guess I just think a reminder is the friendly thing to do.

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A reminder is a friendly thing to do but I don't think people should depend on a reminder and that seems to be what a lot of people have started to do. I think in this day and age where you can not only have a written calendar but can also have reminders on your phone, in your email etc. there is no excuse. I do remind my clients but there are times I've forgotten and think that's still no excuse for them to forget. I think people are so used to being reminded by others they aren't even trying.

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I think I'm more upset that she's so mad because she knows that I just went to the hospital because I was so ill. Even though I own a business, when a person is ill all week long, but works through their illness and pain, then the last day of the week, walks out with their last client of the day to take themselves to the hospital, I just don't know that I would yell at that person for forgetting to remind me of an upcoming day that they would be closed.

I think I'm more thinking, 'Cut me a break here, I was in the freaking hospital! I gave you the information when you hired me, don't yell at me because you don't care to look at the paper I gave you.'

I don't know. I'm just frustrated I guess.

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The thing is I could remind them in a newsletter on the first of the month, then a week before, put a note on the door, and then remind them the night before I'm closed and someone will still show up! Honestly it doesn't matter if I remind them or not, someone always shows up banging on my door on my day off and then gets mad as anything hooping and hollering at me because I'm closed!

Honestly, I think it boils down again to being in a lower income area. Here, almost every one of my clients is a single parent who is barely surviving, has to work every day even if they are dying so they don't get fired, don't have any family or anyone close by as back up child care if I'm closed, etc. Basically, I (their daycare) am their lifeline to staying employed which is their lifeline to not being homeless. So if I am too ill or in the hospital and can't work or if I have a pre-planned day off of work, it throws my parents into an anxiety attack of fight or flight of survival mode. Or at least, that's how they react to my being closed.

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I don't think income has anything to do with it. I have been "low income" much of my life, but I am still a responsible person who doesn't blame others for my problems in life. I just see it as there are two kinds of people out there. One type accepts responsibility for their life and their actions and makes things work. The other type doesn't and has a million excuses and blames others for everything.

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I get the work thru the pain... I was in the Hospital Monday night & had an unplanned closing Tuesday due a real bad kidney infection (& a kidney stone); My parents took turns the rest of week keeping a child home just so all 4 babies weren't here all at the same time & I could work with a lighter load (not my idea but theirs) - They all even asked if I closed today and I said nope, not on minor Federal days, just Major... I'm in a low income area too, but all my parents had back up provisions in place when they contracted. Today I was told my color was back & they could tell I was feeling better since last Friday

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It IS about personal responsibility.

If people have so much going on in their lives that they forget things that have to do with their children, then perhaps its time to pare down the list of things they have going on in their lives.

I think when society begins to feel it's okay or understandable for people to not have to be responsible for something that DOES effect them the fall out is that those people start to believe it is someone else's responsibility to remind them of theirs.

I'm sorry but I already parented (taught my children how to be responsible and to how to endure the consequences when they do forget) so I a certainly not going to parent my daycare clients.

I send out a yearly calendar. Parents can keep it in a safe place so they know what days they do not have care or they can lose it and thus be upset that they now have an "issue" to figure out but no matter if they keep it or lose it, its not MY issue and I won't take responsibility for it when I have things going on in my life too...

I know Dr and dentist offices often send out reminders or make reminder calls but they have a secretary or staff person that can do that and until I am making somewhere along the same lines as those professions, reminder calls won't be part of my duty or my responsibility.

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I am sorry you are sick and I agree with you parents shouldn't NEED the reminder. It is a courtesy. I had a parent last week tell me I need to remind her when its her week to pay. I said no, you are a grown up, you need to remember or you are welcome to prepay as many weeks as you'd like. Grrr!!

When I get the impression during an interview that a parent has only me to rely on I actually will tell them they are better off in a daycare center. I feel like for a home daycare you need to have a reliable back up or a flexible/understanding job - I am just one person (don't use a sub or anything) so those people who can never miss a day of work are not the right client for me. And its hard turning them away when I need the income too but it just isn't worth having them bring their sick kids, etc. later on down the road.

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I think you miss understood me. Yes parents need to be responsible, but I am not sure it is because they don't want to be or are not trying to be. That is what I meant. I also get what you are saying about paring down though. We are constantly on my DD who wants to be involved in everything (high school, college, work, church, friends, whatever else) that in order to pick up something else she needs to drop something. She is a classic example of someone who will bury herself under (and in her case do it to herself vs a job or someone else doing it to her) so I get what you are saying. I just don't think people realize what they are doing when they do this. Not saying that the parent doesn't need to step up, because they do, and I am not real sure how to explain what I mean. I guess just that I don't think people are doing it intentionally always. But for them to get angry because they messed up is where I say is totally out of line.

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I am not misunderstanding at all. Your point was that it isn't always intentional.

I don't think people do it intentionally always either but I do think placing the blame on to someone else though says ALOT about how they view and accept personal responsibility and according to OP, her clients obviously feel it's not their responsibility to remember.

So I stand by what I said, it IS about personal responsibility.

Getting people to accept that sometimes requires a firm stance or consequence verses simply accepting that they have too much going on in their lives.....which in my opinion excuses them from that responsibility.

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I wonder if she was ranting and raving at you because she was so angry with herself for dropping the ball?
Lots of times I feel, to dcps we don't appear to be real people who get sick for real or have real families or real days off, just like everybody else. There will always be that 1 dcf who would try to bring their child to you if you were on your death bed.

Most importantly take care of you. And don't let it break your day. Vent here, breathe in and out, then let it go, stress will only make you feel worse. And remember 'it takes all kinds of people to make the world go 'round'

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You’ve told them; it’s their responsibility. It’s nice if you remind DCPs. Even so, it’s NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY once they’ve received the list. I put in red closed next to the child’s name on my sign in sheet. I had a parent text me if I were open or closed. I text back, “It’s listed on the sign-in sheet in red that I am closed. It’s a holiday.”

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My kids schools put out an school wide electronic phone call the night before a day off or an early dismissal.

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OP I know your medical issues and a unappreciative parent are central to your issue - so this is just in response to some PPs.

I am one of those people overwhelmed by life a little right now, and need reminders. My DD has two 3 day weeks in a row this month. I have a calendar of the days off posted, but I super appreciate DD's teacher sends a weekly email to all the parents and includes reminders about stuff like that.

I have to juggle my 8 dcks schedules, dd's school schedule, dh's college class schedule, his work hours, random in law scheduling needs, my dad's chemo and other dr. apts, family photos apt this week, WIC appointments, 4 nights of professional development classes the next 2 weeks. etc

I'm not special, I know everyone has lots to juggle in life. But I am someone who will get fuzzy on memory and drop the ball occasionally even with everything written down. I appreciate reminders. I assume my dcps appreciate the COURTESY of a reminder as well. Its a favor, and I'm happy to throw them a bone. But also, I have never have them show up on an off day. So they are respectful.

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Since I am one of the PPs that said it's not my responsibility, I assume your comments were directed to me as one of those PP's....

You stated your DD's teacher sends a weekly e-mail listing reminders...
....one of the big differences there is that you actually read them.

fwiw~ I didn't say I didn't understand or that I don't acknowledge that people have a lot going on....

I said it's not my responsibility to send reminders and it's not.

There is a big difference between a courtesy/favor and a responsibility.

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I do have to constantly remind parents , I guess I dont have to but I do understand lots of people have very busy lives.I also think parents should do more things to help remember them selfs.it can be a little annoying at times.I do agree with the person who posted this most of the time yes we are all they have, no freinds, no family no back up care, nothing.in my situation im all they have , I haven't had anyone get to mad, but if they do get mad I dont think they really mean it.Its just in the moment they are freaking out and not really towards me or that they are mad at me.

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My daycare entrance is well covered and I have a little chalkboard by the door. I just write "Don't forget we are closed on such/such date!"...and call it good. Their fault if they are going to ignore it. They get a list in their handbook too.

The pic is dark as I just took it in the dark!

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I think in today's tech driven society, we are dependent on so many gadgets to do things for us. WHICH can be really nice or it can be a pain. I put everything in my phone that backs up to my cloud calendar, so if I ever lost my phone it's already on my computer.


I am sure most people have a smart phone these days with this type of function, but they still don't seem to always use it.

I had a mom get upset with me that I didn't send out payment reminders, and I told her I did when I gave you your contract 3 months ago and told you that the payments were due every Friday if you are in attendance or not.

She just got more mad. I don't care, I won't be held accountable for your mistake or your feelings. If you are mad that's fine with me, but you only have yourself to be mad at. Of course I didn't say that last bit.

Hope you are feeling better.

Oh like PP said I also have a chalk board and at the start of the month I bullet point the really important things going on that month. this way if something happens and I get busy I don't forget!

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I do not remind people!! I am so sick of parents needing to be treated like toddlers. If they show up then tough luck for them

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