Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Hate It When Your Husband Is Home During Daycare Hours?
youretooloud 08:48 AM 06-06-2011
My husband was sick yesterday. He's fine today, but took the day off anyway.

I have a screamer.

He just came out to tell me "That baby is screaming".

"Really? I hadn't noticed it.... she's only sitting on my back, screaming three inches from my ear... but, thanks for letting me know.... Captain freaking Obvious".

*yes, he just made me mad*

Apparently, he's chosen right now to have a nap, and the kids are too loud.
Reply
Sunshine44 08:51 AM 06-06-2011
Oh yes, I feel your pain. My husband tells me stuff like I do not know it. So in so is crying. Yep. I hear them too. haha. Or So in so is playing with books. Yep, I see them, it's allowed. Someone stinks, yep. That is why I'm changing their diapers right now! Men!
Reply
sharlan 08:53 AM 06-06-2011
Ohhhhhhhhhh, yes. I can feel your pain. Mine has been out of work for a year now. He just started working part time and I love it.
Reply
daycare 08:55 AM 06-06-2011
My husband is great with the kids....EXCEPT one kid...the kid is severly ADHD and when the kid gets to a point of no return, my husband will just leave and go to the gym for 2-3 hours. Which works out ok, because by the time the child reaches point of no return, its already 3:30. lol
Reply
dEHmom 08:56 AM 06-06-2011
yes, i dread the days dh is home when he isn't supposed to be. ruins my groove.
Reply
safechner 08:58 AM 06-06-2011
I know how that feel. I don't hate for my husband to stay home while I run a daycare in my home. My husband will not sit in the house and he will do something to work in the garage or whatever he wants. A few months ago, he was sick and he stayed in her room and locked the door. It doesn't bother him since dcg always screamed. I guess he is getting used to it, who knows.
Reply
countrymom 09:31 AM 06-06-2011
mine works days, I just don't need another child added to my mix.
Reply
wdmmom 09:56 AM 06-06-2011
My hubby has only stayed home 2 days in the last 4 years and he was truly sick. He spent his days upstairs in the bedroom. Other than having to run after him every hour to refill his drink, get him more tissues, get him his pills or more food, it wasn't too awful.

The day he stays home and thinks he's gonna veg, he better think again! lol
Reply
littlemissmuffet 09:56 AM 06-06-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
mine works days, I just don't need another child added to my mix.


My hubs is fantastic with the kids. But it can be disruptive when he is home and has things to do that are not daycare related because the kids all like to hang off of him and be wherever he is when he's home and they get upset when he needs to be doing something sans kids. Otherwise, I like it when he's home because we usually get to have a "family" day... and I can usually sneak in a nap or real break.
Reply
meganlavonnesmommy 10:11 AM 06-06-2011
ABSOLUTELY HATE IT! He usually hides in the computer room, or our bedroom and watches tv. Then its not so bad. But if he is doing stuff around the house, it drives me nuts. He has NO concept of being quiet during naptime. He goes in and out of the house, slamming the door shut. He leaves his crap all over so the DC kids get into it. He leaves his shoes, coat, motorcycle helmet, papers, whatever all over, and they put on his shoes, helmet, play with the papers, etc.

Thank GOD he is at work most days!
Reply
NiNi.R. 10:25 AM 06-06-2011
ugh men!

I used to dread my husband being home. He is great with kids but would constantly give me unwanted input on things I should do as well as be captain obvious. I'd get so annoyed and tell him I have been doing this for 5 years I have a system that works..help or go away. So when I found out he would start working nights and be home all day I was terrified I would go crazy. But I guess he must get it now cuz its turned out to not be near as bad as i thought it would.
Reply
Unregistered 10:29 AM 06-06-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
mine works days, I just don't need another child added to my mix.
I agree! My husband is a total pain when he is around. Watches tv, in my way all morning, not quiet at nap, my son gets all worked up and no longer follows "daycare" rules when he is home, he leaves his junk all over and basically bothers me the whole time. I am so glad he is RARELY HOME when I am working.

Maybe I should do all these things at his office once and see if he notices.
Reply
jodi 11:05 AM 06-06-2011
My husband is great with the kids - very patient - says hi and gives them "high fives" every day. He helps when I'm making lunch, etc. BUT... he talks baby talk to them and it totally drives me crazy. When we are outside I try so hard to get them to play, they don't know how - because they are always right by my side - its always ''' go play"" "go play". When hubby is there he encourages their clingyness by continually talking to them. That doesn't sound nice - what I mean is my kids don't play - they stand there and stare at me. If they do play and stop every minute and attempt to get constant positive affirmations for everything they do. ( Yes... I KNOW you know that is a bird...you are 3 years old ... you don't need to hear "good job" because you say the word "bird". When hubby is there its... "Oh YES...that IS a BIRD...good for you..."
AHHHHH
Reply
jen 11:38 AM 06-06-2011
Here's the secret to either making that stop, or getting a little help...

Every time hubby points out the obvious say, "Oh, thanks for getting that! I could use a hand."

He will either help or shut up.
Reply
kidkair 11:44 AM 06-06-2011
I must be very lucky. My husband knew very little about kids and interacting with them when we met. He has learned everything about the ways he interacts with them from me. When I see him doing something I don't particularly like (usually tone of voice or phrasing) I pay close attention to how I interact with the kids and he adjusts to what he sees me doing. He is absolutely wonderful with them and will correct me sometimes if I'm having a bad day and being short with the kids. He works sleeper shifts at group homes so he's home and awake most days. I love it! He does all the shopping we need, he fixes things around the house, he does dishes and kitchen clean up after meals, he helps bring out food for picnics, he goes on walks with us most days, and after work we can spend time together. I actually dislike days he's out all day and I have to do the kitchen stuff because it takes time away from the kids or from my down time during nap time.
Reply
dEHmom 11:48 AM 06-06-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
Here's the secret to either making that stop, or getting a little help...

Every time hubby points out the obvious say, "Oh, thanks for getting that! I could use a hand."

He will either help or shut up.
Thanks! I will be using this!

I know my dh's secrets too. Like when he does laundry, he loads that baby full right to the lid. takes about 3 loads to dry them in the dryer and they are obviously still dirty cause he over loaded it. This is a trick, so I say "NEVER DO LAUNDRY AGAIN" or he folds the clothes so badly (i have a bit of ocd and I HATE the way he folds. I have to redo it all, so he's gotten out of that part of laundry as well.

He does a lot of things badly, poorly or whatever else, so that he won't have to do them again.
Reply
Mom_of_two 11:54 AM 06-06-2011
My husband is great with the DCK's, and works 8-5 so is not here when the kids are often. On occasion if he goes out of town he will get home early afternoon. He is great with the kids, and offers to help but it definitely shifts the dynamic- kidfs get more rambunctious with him, and my own girls more sidetracked (like if he comes in and leaves they might get sad or want to go and can't etc.) He definitely understands I am working and tells me my job is hard-lol- one plus to hubby being around sometimes, he sees the work we do! He is also my sub and knows the drill with all the kids, which makes his presence easier if he happens to be here another time too
Reply
DCMom 12:12 PM 06-06-2011
My dh is home by 4pm most days. The kids love him; he can always tell if it's been a trying day and asks what he can do.

We try to coordinate our days off so he isn't home when the daycare is open; but it happens once in awhile. I don't mind~it changes up the routine and he knows that dc is my first priority those days.
Reply
AmandasFCC 12:23 PM 06-06-2011
I actually quite like it when my hubby is home. He stays out of my way, gets chores done that make my life easier, and knows when nap time is, so if he needs quiet for something, he waits until they're sleeping. He gets it, I guess
Reply
momofboys 01:03 PM 06-06-2011
I like it when my husband is home. But then he helps out, plays with the kids, etc. The daycare kids LOVE him & he loves them right back. The twins I care for love to sit on his lap & read stories with him. I'm happy when my hubby gets home b/c it gives me a mini-break!
Reply
Blackcat31 01:24 PM 06-06-2011
I love when my DH is home, because that means he isn't here at daycare! LOL!!! Seriously though, he is great with the dck's and comes into town everyday for lunch. He dishes up plates of food, serves, wipes little hands and faces and helps the kiddos have a great lunch time experience. He then helps with getting all the littles down for nap and my older ones ready to go outside to play. His mom ran a 24/7 childcare while he was growing up so he knows how this song and dance goes.

Choosing to open a daycare was a mutual decision and he is as helpful as any substitute or assistant could ever be. (cheaper too! ) The up side is he has a vested interest in this business too so....

My kids all get so excited when he gets here. He lets them help when he does little fix it projects and he always makes sure he plows the snow exactly where they want it so they can build a snow fort. He has also had his fair share in teaching some of the little ones how to ride a bike or build a sand castle or how to pump themselves on the swing set. I think my dck's would be lost without him. I know my lunch time routine would be crazy if he wasn't here so I am glad when he arrives!!
Reply
AfterSchoolMom 02:42 PM 06-06-2011
I love it when my DH is home. The kids love him. He's subbed for me a few times as well.

However, I will say that he used to work from home and was here EVERY SINGLE DAY. I didn't care for that as much.
Reply
Meeko 03:35 PM 06-06-2011
My husband has 12 siblings. He grew up in a house filled with kiddos...so he's completely at home. I do my day care at my son's house, but my husband comes down to see us, substitutes so I can run errands etc. etc. He reads to the kids, plays ball with them and talks with their parents!
Reply
Sugar Magnolia 03:49 PM 06-06-2011
My husband is my full partner in our small center. But I AM the Director, so technically I am the boss. Lol! Its great having a guy in child care!!! The little ones from divorced parents really benefit having a good male role model around! Its so funny, just like in families, if they don't get the answer they are looking for from me, they quietly go ask "dad"!!! LOL!
But there is a downside---we spend 24/7 together. Its not uncommon for us to unload on each other on the ride home! Thank goodness for my assistant teacher too, someone else besides the hubby to talk to!
Reply
jessrlee 04:05 PM 06-06-2011
I also love having Hubs home. He is great at supervising outside time so I can get a break, making lunch, or just giving me a hug and kiss on his way to run errands. I can't wait for him to get home and bug me again!
Reply
Meeko 04:16 PM 06-06-2011
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
My husband is my full partner in our small center. But I AM the Director, so technically I am the boss. Lol! Its great having a guy in child care!!! The little ones from divorced parents really benefit having a good male role model around! Its so funny, just like in families, if they don't get the answer they are looking for from me, they quietly go ask "dad"!!! LOL!
But there is a downside---we spend 24/7 together. Its not uncommon for us to unload on each other on the ride home! Thank goodness for my assistant teacher too, someone else besides the hubby to talk to!
Your set up is a lot like ours! My adult son is my full time assistant...but it used to be my husband (he's the stay at home parent for our younger daughters now!) and we loved working together. My husband would tell people he can kiss his boss and it's OK!!!

Our day care parents love having a man around too. A good role model is so important for the kids who don't have a father around. My husband and my son are so good with the kids. My husband has been known to round up all our day care boys on a Saturday morning and take them to play ball at the local park. They don't have dad's around and it means the world to them.

Have you ever had anyone turn their noses up at your situation? Over the years I have had a few moms who swear they won't leave their kids with a male. Sad really...I think it's great for the kids.
Reply
sharlan 06:48 PM 06-06-2011
My husband has always been good with the kids. They used to love it when he came home from work and sat on the sofa with a big bucket of popcorn or cheese and crackers to share. They would all just curl up around him..

It was great this year because he could go pick up the 5 yo from K and I wouldn't have to load up and go.

But, I'm off my routine when he's here. Things just don't flow as smoothly for me.
Reply
SandeeAR 07:06 PM 06-06-2011
I LOVE when my DH comes home. He is the kids Play Toy! He has been working 7 days a week since July 4th, 2010, yep nearly a year now. In that time he has been off a total of 8 days. (Long story, he is a mgr that has been without an asst for a year).

The kids love him so and their time with him has been limited, so when when he comes home, he plays with them almost everyday. They LOVE it.
Reply
Childminder 07:54 PM 06-06-2011
My DH has been my assistant for about three years now. At first It was an adjustment and I tried to keep the kids away from him as much as possible. He sat and watched tv or surfed the internet alllll dayyyyyyy longgggggg! If I had a screamer he would irritate the he!! out of me not by telling me the kid was screaming but getting in the kids face and loudly telling them"hey, your crying, don't cry, your hurtin our ears...." Thought he was helping

After a few months I helped deliver (I'm a doula) a sibling to a boy I had in care and after that I just I just started handing the baby to DH when I was busy taking care of the others or fixing lunch or whatever. He ended up spoiling the baby and has become my assistant.

It has gotten to the point where I count on him and miss when he's not here. He is the one that takes the kids outside each day and controls the kids when I am busy. As much as I wish he could find a job and help financially I love that he's here.
Reply
Sugar Magnolia 03:01 AM 06-07-2011
Originally Posted by Meeko60:
Your set up is a lot like ours! My adult son is my full time assistant...but it used to be my husband (he's the stay at home parent for our younger daughters now!) and we loved working together. My husband would tell people he can kiss his boss and it's OK!!!

Our day care parents love having a man around too. A good role model is so important for the kids who don't have a father around. My husband and my son are so good with the kids. My husband has been known to round up all our day care boys on a Saturday morning and take them to play ball at the local park. They don't have dad's around and it means the world to them.

Have you ever had anyone turn their noses up at your situation? Over the years I have had a few moms who swear they won't leave their kids with a male. Sad really...I think it's great for the kids.
We DO sound a lot alike! Husbands rock! Kids love 'em! I'm not sure if I've had people turn their noses up, if so, they never stated it was because of him.... If people did that to you, then they are not very smart or close-minded. Their loss Meeko!
Reply
TBird 09:54 AM 06-07-2011
I don't mind it so much but it is disruptive and the kids totally lose focus on preschool work or anything they may have been playing with. They'll wind up sitting at his feet while he's on the computer or try to wander around looking for him if he's not in plain sight.

I'll tell ya this though...the BEST days are the days when he's home and he says "OMG...this is SO much work!!! Are you sure you're charging enough???"

PRICELESS!!!

Reply
Tags:husband
Reply Up