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  #1  
Old 10-19-2010, 04:33 PM
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Default In Your Professional Opinion.....

Many years ago at my former center there was a boy who was almost 5 years old. He carried around a doll. A brand new baby doll. He wanted one so the parents bought him one. He never played with it, just carried it around. Like a security blanket. He had an older sister and an older brother so it wasn't like he had younger siblings. Eventually the other kids were making fun of him and it wore on him so he stopped bringing the doll.

I now care for a 2.5 year old boy. We were finishing up lunch and there was a commercial for Baby Alive (I think it was BA). He said "I want that" I said..."you do?". He said "yes I do". He has a baby sister (5 months old). I said "well what about D? You can play with her". "No, I want my baby to do flips!"

Which brings me to my question. In your professional opinion, do you think it's ok for a boy to play with dolls?
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Old 10-19-2010, 04:39 PM
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I totally think it is okay for a boy to play with dolls, I think they they realize as they get older they cant always do it in front of alot of other kids, but they say that a little boy playing with a baby doll, is imitating daddy carrying around a baby, so if daddy is carrying a baby, why can't a little boy, just because a boy carries around a doll, doesn't mean a thing, my son every once in a while plays with the dolls, It makes me smile when I see him tucking the baby in the bed, I think to myself that he has compassion, he knows that you have to take care of the little ones, I think its sweet, I have another little boy who every once in a while brings a baby doll with him and its pink to! totally cool!
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Old 10-19-2010, 05:17 PM
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Why would there even be any hesitation? Yes. A million times - YES.
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Old 10-19-2010, 05:35 PM
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Absolutely it's ok for boys to play with babies. There is no reason why they should not. Pretend play is extremely important for both boys and girls. It helps them figure out things in the real world and work through all the information that they take in every day. It's also a great way for children to learn empathy and how to take care of other people.

And for the little 2 year old of yours, he has a new baby sister, but probably isn't allowed to hold her much and she certainly can't do flips or play much yet, so he needs a way to figure it all out. He watches mom and dad care for the baby and play with the baby. It's NO DIFFERENT than a girl wanting the same thing.
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Old 10-19-2010, 05:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Former Teacher View Post
Which brings me to my question. In your professional opinion, do you think it's ok for a boy to play with dolls?
There have been studies that show that if boys are allowed to play with dolls and actually play with them like they are babies (hold them, feed them, carry them around like buddies, care for them etc.) that those boys become better nurturers and fathers. So in my opinion, yes it's ok with boys to play with dolls. If they are caring for the dolls like a baby then they may become awsome fathers/teachers/caregivers etc, if they throw them, make them do flips, launch them like rockets ... well then it's like an action figure right? So what's the difference in playing with an action figure or a baby doll of they are going to play with them the same way??
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  #6  
Old 10-19-2010, 06:30 PM
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I have two sons. They each have their own dolls, and my older son has two. They also have a stroller and a crib for their dolls. They don't play with them all the time by any means, but they do play with them. They have a great daddy, and I hope they will grow up to be great daddies as well!
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  #7  
Old 10-19-2010, 06:57 PM
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I totally agree with boys playing with dolls. Pretend play is so benificial to toddlers, my 2 1/2 year old daycare boy was playing with the bin of baby dolls/clothes today.
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  #8  
Old 10-19-2010, 07:17 PM
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Yep, perfectly acceptable. Even more so in the situation you described! I'm sure the boy would LOVE to have his own baby that he can play with and treat however he wants, since he can't do that to his sister!

I agree also with the pps who mentioned that boys who get to play with dolls often grow up to be more nurturing/caretaking. There is an interesting paradox in our society: most of us want men (ex: husbands) to be nurturing and caregiving, to help with the kids, be compassionate and caring. BUT--we (as a society) do very little to encourage and foster these qualities in young boys. Young boys have the nurturing side trained out of them, more often than not, as they are discouraged from playing with dolls or play kitchens or anything else "girly". Yet, a girl who wants to play with trains and trucks is perfectly allowed to do so.

Heck yeah, that boy should get to have a baby doll! I'd give his mom a heads up on his request!
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  #9  
Old 10-19-2010, 10:46 PM
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YES, YES, YES!

if a boy wants to play with dolls or even dress up like a princess - it's OKAY! my husband didn't like it when i'd paint my nails and my daughter's nails and my son wanted his nails painted. id always pull the, "i don't tell u how to do your job" card on that one. i painted his nails! he's 4 now and has no interest. he's a typical boy and STRONG too!

it's the boys who don't get to explore that want to explore later!

my 6 year old daughter wants an "american girl" doll and of course she asked her little brother if he wanted one. of COURSE since he has to do everything she does, he said YES! they do make male "american girl" dolls, and i really don't want to spend 100+ dollars on a male doll i know he probably won't have anything to do with, but i'll probably get it for him anyway.

most little boys grow out of it and have no interest in such things, but there are the 6 and 7 year old boys who are still into dress up and things of that nature, and i just hope their parents can come to terms with it bc more than likely, they'll have to later!

well, i guess that was my personal opinion, but in my professional, early childhood educated (batting eyelashes) opinion - you should DEFINITELY let boys play w dolls.

Last edited by QualiTcare; 10-19-2010 at 10:51 PM.
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  #10  
Old 10-20-2010, 04:05 AM
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my older son had one
my younger one never wanted one

my older son is loving and affectionate (age 16)
my younge son is a brute! (age 8)

is there a connection? Probably not hahahahah but play it safe - buy all boys a doll!!!!
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  #11  
Old 10-20-2010, 04:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
There have been studies that show that if boys are allowed to play with dolls and actually play with them like they are babies (hold them, feed them, carry them around like buddies, care for them etc.) that those boys become better nurturers and fathers. So in my opinion, yes it's ok with boys to play with dolls. If they are caring for the dolls like a baby then they may become awsome fathers/teachers/caregivers etc, if they throw them, make them do flips, launch them like rockets ... well then it's like an action figure right? So what's the difference in playing with an action figure or a baby doll of they are going to play with them the same way??
absolutely!!!
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  #12  
Old 10-20-2010, 04:30 AM
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thats so funny because my older son (14) never played with "girl" toys and he is the most loving, caring, sweet, compassionate young man i have ever met.

my younger son (8) plays with "girl" stuff all the time. pink tutu and nail polish all the way...lol and he is the most monsterous obnoxious rough and tumble brut of a manly boy. so hopefully playing with the girly stuff will foster a softer, more gentle side as he gets older.

and yes, i agree with everyone else....its fine for boys to play with dolls
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  #13  
Old 10-20-2010, 04:33 AM
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Absolutely it's okay!

I teach all of my daycare children that there are no "girl toys" or "boy toys".....

just "kids toys"
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  #14  
Old 10-20-2010, 05:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Pammie View Post
Absolutely it's okay!

I teach all of my daycare children that there are no "girl toys" or "boy toys".....

just "kids toys"
This! I also agree with pp's that said playing with a doll for a boy may help him to be a more nurturing father and man. I think pretend play is very important!
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  #15  
Old 10-20-2010, 05:50 AM
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Originally Posted by TGT09 View Post
This! I also agree with pp's that said playing with a doll for a boy may help him to be a more nurturing father and man. I think pretend play is very important!
Absolutely!! We don't have "boy" and "girl" toys either. The boys play with the scarves, boas, princess shoes, play silks and kitchen as much as the girls and the girls play with the matchbox cars, pretend tools and construction equipment as much as the boys.
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  #16  
Old 10-20-2010, 07:03 AM
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YES YES YES!!!

I feel okay sharing this b/c my hubby shares this story with others... but my DH had an older sister when Cabbage Patch Kids were in their prime. They both had one, and they both remember their full names on the birth certificates. He had the boy doll of course. Now he is an amazing father to our two kids. And he is one of the most masculine men I know.
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  #17  
Old 10-20-2010, 07:10 AM
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I hope my next baby is a boy!! And if he wants to play with a doll by all means yes!
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  #18  
Old 10-20-2010, 07:21 AM
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At 2 1/2, they don't know the difference between being a boy and being a girl, until they start potty training or watch the diaper changing. Gender roles haven't emerged yet and to them, playing with this toy is the same as playing with that toy. It's the uptight parent that tries to mold instead of foster their child's perceptions of their place in the world.
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  #19  
Old 10-20-2010, 08:08 AM
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This is one of my DD's favorite books.
Hits the nail on the head for this subject.
http://www.charlottezolotow.com/willilams_doll.htm
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  #20  
Old 10-20-2010, 08:11 AM
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I agree with the others, yes, without a doubt.
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  #21  
Old 10-20-2010, 09:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Former Teacher View Post
Many years ago at my former center there was a boy who was almost 5 years old. He carried around a doll. A brand new baby doll. He wanted one so the parents bought him one. He never played with it, just carried it around. Like a security blanket. He had an older sister and an older brother so it wasn't like he had younger siblings. Eventually the other kids were making fun of him and it wore on him so he stopped bringing the doll.

I now care for a 2.5 year old boy. We were finishing up lunch and there was a commercial for Baby Alive (I think it was BA). He said "I want that" I said..."you do?". He said "yes I do". He has a baby sister (5 months old). I said "well what about D? You can play with her". "No, I want my baby to do flips!"

Which brings me to my question. In your professional opinion, do you think it's ok for a boy to play with dolls?
Absolutely. I have a bunch of baby dolls and baby doll equipment and the boys play with it along with the girls. Nuttin' wrong with that!
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  #22  
Old 10-20-2010, 09:53 AM
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i can tell you something i find pretty sad...

my mother thinks its absolutely horrible that her SIL bakes with and teaches her gransons how to crochet. my mother would NEVER think to do those things with my boys because they are "girly" things to do. and my mom really isnt into the "boy" things either, so she is really missing out on developing close relationships with my boys because of her stereotypes.
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  #23  
Old 10-20-2010, 09:59 AM
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of course, thats not even an issue here, if ANY dad had an issue with their sonplaying with a doll here,... I would have to tell them to either keep their attitude about it quiet,.. or find someone else. Boys and girls shouldnt be put into a gender mold. Let girls play with hammers, and boys play with Barbies. no issue here.
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Old 10-20-2010, 10:23 AM
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I agree with every one else. I have 3 girls and 1 boys (he's #3) and he is so relaxed easy going kid who loves to give his sisters facials, do their nails and play house with them (he's 8) and the girls love him at school so much that my dd's tell me all the time how the girls fight over him, but he can be rough and mean too. I think when he's older he will really benifit from being with girls and playing girly things---btw he loves to cook, can sew, but can't remember where he leaves his coat ,gloves,hat or homework so I hope he finds a wife that can help him find his items. (my ds has an easy bake oven)
what makes me mad are the dads that don't want their sons to play with anything girly and want them to be mean and bullies, so I don't tell them what their boys play with.
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  #25  
Old 10-20-2010, 12:58 PM
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One thing I've always wondered about when this subject comes up - why is it no one really poses the question: Is it okay for girls to play with trucks? It's a sad commentary on our society as a whole that it's acceptable and even admirable for women to challenge the traditional gender roles, but if men do it, it's seen as a weakness.

Nightline had an interesting story last night about fathers in Sweden who are able to take extended leave when their children are born - basically similar to maternity leave here in the states.

I agree with the PP who said there are no girls toys or boys toys, just kids toys.

Last edited by MyAngels; 10-20-2010 at 02:23 PM. Reason: Clarification
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  #26  
Old 10-20-2010, 02:16 PM
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As I once heard a pediatrician say: "if you want your son to be nuturing and learn how to nurture, you should encourage him to play with a doll or similar toy that resembles a person or child".
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  #27  
Old 10-20-2010, 02:24 PM
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Why would there even be any hesitation? Yes. A million times - YES.
I have to agree with this as well.
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:01 PM
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"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
-Robert Heinlein
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