Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Cio
momma4many 03:40 PM 06-01-2011
Just wondering if anyone has advice on the cry it out method. I have been doing this for a few weeks and it seems to be getting WORSE with the no sleeping around here. Both kids are rocked to sleep at home, but parents understand that they will have to cio here. I have been doing the 5 min, go in and comfort (not pick up) then 7 min, 10 min, 15 min, etc. Neither of them sleep....ever. I'm about losing it. My newest dcb has only been here 1 week, but I swear they keep each other up crying. They are the same age, around 13/14 months. Any suggestions? A friend (who is a nurse) said to just let them cry, that it sounds like going in there is making it worse, but I feel bad doing that. How long do you leave them in there for? What are your methods?
Reply
Live and Learn 03:44 PM 06-01-2011
Originally Posted by momma4many:
Just wondering if anyone has advice on the cry it out method. I have been doing this for a few weeks and it seems to be getting WORSE with the no sleeping around here. Both kids are rocked to sleep at home, but parents understand that they will have to cio here. I have been doing the 5 min, go in and comfort (not pick up) then 7 min, 10 min, 15 min, etc. Neither of them sleep....ever. I'm about losing it. My newest dcb has only been here 1 week, but I swear they keep each other up crying. They are the same age, around 13/14 months. Any suggestions? A friend (who is a nurse) said to just let them cry, that it sounds like going in there is making it worse, but I feel bad doing that. How long do you leave them in there for? What are your methods?
I agree with the nurse friend.
It is worth it in the end for both you and the child.
Reply
Zoe 03:58 PM 06-01-2011
I did it with both my kids. It was really hard for me to hear them cry for so long. But once they figured it out, everyone was so much happier! Keep at it!
Reply
youretooloud 04:32 PM 06-01-2011
Going in there is probably making it worse... they know you'll come in there and they are holding out for that.
Reply
cheerfuldom 04:36 PM 06-01-2011
At over a year, I would just put them down for nap same time every day. No rocking but we do use white noise, darkened room. No checking on them unless you can do so without them knowing. Separate them and let them cry. Try it for at least a week and see what happens. Right now they are not sleeping and are not happy with what you are doing so its worth a shot. This works for me and we don't have nap issues here, even with the babies.
Reply
momma4many 06:07 PM 06-01-2011
Thanks ladies! I'm going to do it. Just lay them down and let them cry. I need that time for my sanity!!!!!
Reply
MommyMuffin 06:19 PM 06-01-2011
I have the WORST sleepers at my home!! I have tried everything. It is really hard for me to let them CIO. I have tried it and it seemed to work for my kids over 12 months. Its hard for me to do CIO because I feel like a failure that I can't get them to sleep.

I have a high needs baby and he will only sleep in a pnp in my living room, where I am. If he can see me, he is okay.

Its so hard because each child is so different.

Also, if you can, the ones who have trouble sleeping try to put them in rooms alone. Sometimes that has really helped.
Reply
Sunshine44 06:46 PM 06-01-2011
I'd stop going in. They are old enough in my opinion to cry it out. I do it with my kids younger than that. If you start putting them in bed and just letting them cry and not going in to check on them...they may fall asleep.
Reply
Mom_of_two 07:35 PM 06-01-2011
I agree- let them cry! It is what I do. Over a year it seems to be the only way. In two weeks if you are consistent it will be a world of difference!! now when one of mine cries I know something else is going on (teething etc) and I treat accordingly, but that first 2 weeks, cio for sure!
Reply
cheerfuldom 07:36 PM 06-01-2011
oh yay, I never let kids CIO with someone else in the room (another kid I mean). It is harder when you have limited space though.
Reply
daysofelijah 05:40 AM 06-02-2011
Stop going in. They are old enough to figure it out. If you have to peek in every 15 minutes, but try not to let them see you. They will tire out and go to sleep eventually. It may take an hour or more of crying the first few times, but it will lessen as they get the point that it is sleep time and you are not going to come get them until sleep time is over.

Once they fall asleep they may wake up again and start crying after 20-30 minutes, just peek and make sure they are okay and let them cry again until they go back to sleep. For some reason, I have had a lot of kids that age that do the 20 minute sleep, wake up and cry for 5 minutes, then go back to sleep for 1-2 hours.
Reply
momma4many 02:17 PM 06-02-2011
Originally Posted by daysofelijah:
Once they fall asleep they may wake up again and start crying after 20-30 minutes, just peek and make sure they are okay and let them cry again until they go back to sleep. For some reason, I have had a lot of kids that age that do the 20 minute sleep, wake up and cry for 5 minutes, then go back to sleep for 1-2 hours.
Yes, they are at the point where they may sleep for 10-20 min, but no more than that. The screaming, whining, crying all afternoon is getting to me. My nerves are absolutely shot.
Reply
nannyde 02:58 PM 06-02-2011
Originally Posted by momma4many:
My nerves are absolutely shot.
It's time to think about YOU and what YOU need. Once you know they have had good food, good play, good lovins, clean diaper, comfortable place to sleep in a climate controlled environment... then you KNOW you have done what they NEED.

The only way to get them on a schedule is to put them on a schedule. They would take a 1.5 hour nap in the a.m. and a 2.5 hour break in the p.m. whether they slept or not.

They are one year olds. They don't know what's best for themselves. YOU DO. What's best for them is that their provider feels happy, entergetic, and rested between their play and eating times.

Put them down for their breaks on a schedule every day and don't take them out unless you have to change a poopy diaper. Make the room pitch black dark. I would put them in together BECAUSE I would want them to learn how to take their break in the worst possible noise scenario. Being with each other is the worst case scenario.

I would want them to be able to sleep thru ANY kind of noise. The hardest noise to sleep thru is a crying child. So that's where they would be... with the other crying child.

Our society has been hoodwinked into thinking that it's harmful to babies and toddlers to have them cry when they are unhappy. It's not. Once they pass the newborn stage the value of a scheduled sleep routine is worth the crying they do in protest of the routine.

One of your clearest signs of a child who is disorganized and frentic is the child who does 20 minute naps. It's a clear indicator that they aren't getting good deep sleep. It's harder on their brains and system to go day after day without good deep long sleep than it is to go thru a couple of weeks of crying in protest until they learn to RELAX and let nature do it's thing.

When you allow THEM to decide their schedule you get babies just like the ones you have in your house. It's toxic to the babies and it's VERY toxic to the adults caring for the child.
Reply
SandeeAR 06:01 PM 06-02-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
It's time to think about YOU and what YOU need. Once you know they have had good food, good play, good lovins, clean diaper, comfortable place to sleep in a climate controlled environment... then you KNOW you have done what they NEED.

The only way to get them on a schedule is to put them on a schedule. They would take a 1.5 hour nap in the a.m. and a 2.5 hour break in the p.m. whether they slept or not.

They are one year olds. They don't know what's best for themselves. YOU DO. What's best for them is that their provider feels happy, entergetic, and rested between their play and eating times.

Put them down for their breaks on a schedule every day and don't take them out unless you have to change a poopy diaper. Make the room pitch black dark. I would put them in together BECAUSE I would want them to learn how to take their break in the worst possible noise scenario. Being with each other is the worst case scenario.

I would want them to be able to sleep thru ANY kind of noise. The hardest noise to sleep thru is a crying child. So that's where they would be... with the other crying child.

Our society has been hoodwinked into thinking that it's harmful to babies and toddlers to have them cry when they are unhappy. It's not. Once they pass the newborn stage the value of a scheduled sleep routine is worth the crying they do in protest of the routine.

One of your clearest signs of a child who is disorganized and frentic is the child who does 20 minute naps. It's a clear indicator that they aren't getting good deep sleep. It's harder on their brains and system to go day after day without good deep long sleep than it is to go thru a couple of weeks of crying in protest until they learn to RELAX and let nature do it's thing.

When you allow THEM to decide their schedule you get babies just like the ones you have in your house. It's toxic to the babies and it's VERY toxic to the adults caring for the child.

I totally agree. I have a 14 mo old, that has cried at nap almost every day of her life. She does this at home too. After she was past newborn, we did the CIO, Mom was a little later getting on board with it, so it took a little longer for her to catch on. For MANY months, she would cry for 15 min, sleep 20, cry 10-15, sleep 20, cry 10-15, sleep for an hour.

She still rarely goes to sleep without crying for a few minutes and ALWAYS wakes up crying. It is just her. When she is up, she is a wonderful little girl, no crying.

I have ALWAYS put her down from 9-10 and again from 1-3, each and every day. Even on the days she gets here later and only got up at 8 am. She still goes into her bed.

BTW, she is in a room by herself and I have music playing and room darkening curtains.
Reply
momma4many 07:16 PM 06-02-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
It's time to think about YOU and what YOU need. Once you know they have had good food, good play, good lovins, clean diaper, comfortable place to sleep in a climate controlled environment... then you KNOW you have done what they NEED.

The only way to get them on a schedule is to put them on a schedule. They would take a 1.5 hour nap in the a.m. and a 2.5 hour break in the p.m. whether they slept or not.

They are one year olds. They don't know what's best for themselves. YOU DO. What's best for them is that their provider feels happy, entergetic, and rested between their play and eating times.

Put them down for their breaks on a schedule every day and don't take them out unless you have to change a poopy diaper. Make the room pitch black dark. I would put them in together BECAUSE I would want them to learn how to take their break in the worst possible noise scenario. Being with each other is the worst case scenario.

I would want them to be able to sleep thru ANY kind of noise. The hardest noise to sleep thru is a crying child. So that's where they would be... with the other crying child.

Our society has been hoodwinked into thinking that it's harmful to babies and toddlers to have them cry when they are unhappy. It's not. Once they pass the newborn stage the value of a scheduled sleep routine is worth the crying they do in protest of the routine.

One of your clearest signs of a child who is disorganized and frentic is the child who does 20 minute naps. It's a clear indicator that they aren't getting good deep sleep. It's harder on their brains and system to go day after day without good deep long sleep than it is to go thru a couple of weeks of crying in protest until they learn to RELAX and let nature do it's thing.

When you allow THEM to decide their schedule you get babies just like the ones you have in your house. It's toxic to the babies and it's VERY toxic to the adults caring for the child.
Wow. Please take this as me giving you a big hug! Thank you for addressing that it is important for the adult caring for the child to be in charge and provide routine as well as be happy themselves. I am going to read this post when I am doubting myself and stick to my routine!
Reply
Tags:cio, cry it out, crying
Reply Up