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  #1  
Old 08-02-2012, 08:07 AM
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littlemisssunshine littlemisssunshine is offline
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Default New Mom Already Driving Me Insane!!

where do i begin!... so shes from a subsidized program and brings 3 of her kids here in the beginning dcb would cry each morning for about 3 weeks for 1 hour, and she would stay longer and make it worse for him... when she picks up her 3 kids from my home she brings her other big kid and stays for like 1 hour and makes herself at home starts changing their clothes and diapers as if i didnt already do it... they come to my home smelling like pee and so dirty their necks have so much dirt and their hair greasy the same clothes and hair from the day before.... she always ask me for water for herself and when shes about to leave in her car shell get out knock on my door and ask me for milk for the babys bottle omg im sick of her...and she also always changes her schedule because of work ...I do need the $$$ any advice?
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:24 AM
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cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
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Originally Posted by littlemisssunshine View Post
where do i begin!... so shes from a subsidized program and brings 3 of her kids here in the beginning dcb would cry each morning for about 3 weeks for 1 hour, and she would stay longer and make it worse for him... when she picks up her 3 kids from my home she brings her other big kid and stays for like 1 hour and makes herself at home starts changing their clothes and diapers as if i didnt already do it... they come to my home smelling like pee and so dirty their necks have so much dirt and their hair greasy the same clothes and hair from the day before.... she always ask me for water for herself and when shes about to leave in her car shell get out knock on my door and ask me for milk for the babys bottle omg im sick of her...and she also always changes her schedule because of work ...I do need the $$$ any advice?
there is no magic solution for this. you either start enforcing your rules and run the risk of her leaving, or you put up with this.

I dont let parents stay at drop off and pickup, period. I dont let older siblings in the house. I don't bathe kids and I dont provide food or milk for the road so for me, I dont need money bad enough to put up with everything that mom is doing. It sounds like possibly there are other issues going on....maybe there is no water at the house, maybe she doesnt have money to feed her kids outside of daycare hours, maybe she doesnt want to go home and would rather stay at your house. Either way, you dont HAVE to put up with all this. If the filth issue is extreme, you really need to have CPS do a well check...thats neglect.
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:29 AM
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crazydaycarelady crazydaycarelady is offline
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Can you explain to her that the show in the morning is all for her so if she makes drop-offs quick he'll adjust a lot sooner?

Also before she comes get the kids all ready to go. I even explain to the kids that when mom comes they should not play around, just to go to the door and go. We have a little routine where the kids give me a high five and we say good-bye. Sometimes if pick-up drags along I give the high five and say something to the kid like "Can you be a big boy and open the door for mommy?"
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
there is no magic solution for this. you either start enforcing your rules and run the risk of her leaving, or you put up with this.

I dont let parents stay at drop off and pickup, period. I dont let older siblings in the house. I don't bathe kids and I dont provide food or milk for the road so for me, I dont need money bad enough to put up with everything that mom is doing. It sounds like possibly there are other issues going on....maybe there is no water at the house, maybe she doesnt have money to feed her kids outside of daycare hours, maybe she doesnt want to go home and would rather stay at your house. Either way, you dont HAVE to put up with all this. If the filth issue is extreme, you really need to have CPS do a well check...thats neglect.
EXACTLY This!!
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Old 08-02-2012, 12:52 PM
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My3cents My3cents is offline
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I know you need the money but why are you putting up with this. This could cost you money. The other parent's see you let this person getting away with all of this and they might not want to send their kids to your care.

Handbook,rulebook,policy book and contract-

Enforce your rules and let her know you have quick in and out pick up and drop off and you are not allowed to have parent's stay. Explain that your snacks and meals are at scheduled times and she will need to bring a back up bottle for the child from now on. (unless you don't mind doing this for her, I don't mind when it is a baby as a once in a while thing-but not for a child on milk)

Your house, your rules, she will respect you if you stand up now for yourself

Best-
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Old 08-02-2012, 01:12 PM
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Truly Scrumptious Truly Scrumptious is offline
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If you need the money, anything you say or do to address the situation might make her leave. So, you have to decide what's more important...the money or your sanity.

I always pick sanity....I'll eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before I'll stress myself out for day care.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:31 AM
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parents who stay to long I tell them they will need finger printing done and I will give them training info if they would like to con't staying for these lengths of time b/c anyone who has this much time with the children & influence need to have a back ground check and training for the safety of all the children it's policy ,,, that should take care of that usually does....

as far as drop off I tell my parents I have notice when u leave quickly it is less traumatic for ur child so if u could keep it short and sweet when dropping off b/c I want this to be a pleasant experience for your child ...now what parent should want that and if u may need to say good bye b/c it will con't to b a head ache

as far as the water give her a gal jug at the beginning of the week that should make a statement and far as them milk tell her all food as to be eaten here b/c if a child leaves it out and it rots then u can be a liability lol

as far as being dirty have bring back up clothes wash them and put clean clothes on them and just her ur not sure what is all their clothes but u change then all the other kids just wouldn't stop complaining u could was h their under the faucet maybe

but i have been there and it only last as long as i can fill those spots take interviews fill at least 2 of the spots and just get out
BEST OF LUCK
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:05 PM
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Starburst Starburst is offline
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Exclamation Sounds like she is walking all over you and doesn't understand this a real job too

Tell her straight up- these are the rules:
  • The children that are in the daycare need to arrive ready for the day: bathed, groomed, changed. If a child comes in and needs a diaper change you will change it or they can change it but leave right after. At one place I worked at we just checked and changed them if needed in the morning and would hand them off freshly changed (or at least soil free) at pick-up time.
  • You cannot allow children that are not part of your daycare to be in your home because it messes up your ratio- and you can get written up if licensing shows up. Also your insurance doesn't allow it.
  • If you are on food program; it only covers the cost of the children in your program and you can get written up if you are caught giving parents daycare food/milk/water, even for the children after the child leaves the daycare
  • Parents cannot stay for longer than 5-10 minutes because they would need to have a background check for the safety of the other children
  • It is actully easier on the children if the parent's leave right after because the long the parent stays the longer the child will cry- they wont cry until you leave and are consistant! When the parent stays because their child is crying
  • You are NOT a babysitter, not a nanny, not a personal assistant, not a butler, not a maid, and not their best friend. You are not a social club. you are not a 5-star hotel, and you are not a grociery store- You are a professional child care provider and business owner. You are responsible for all of the children in your care until the parents pick them up.
  • This is your JOB and you have things you have to do just like she has things she has to do at her job.
  • This is still your home and you have a right to privacy and expect that daycare parents follow your rules as well as show you respect (asking you for milk when the child is no longer in your care is disrespectful)
  • You cannot give her special treatment because the other parents will also expect special treatment

You also may want to consider telling her you are doing a 'Buh-bye outside' program (like Nannyde) and that means that she just drops of her kids and says bye and leaves but doesn't come in the house- If she needs to talk to you about something she can make an appointment to either talk on the phone or meet you after hours (without the kids) and it will only be for 1/2 hour- any longer than that and you will charge her overtime (she would have to pay out of pocket). As a mandated reporter (when you are on the clock) you are obligated by law to report any suspecion of abuse or neglect; even if the child does not attend your program, if you see it you suspect it to report it- and you can get in trouble if it is proven that you did suspect but never reported. If a child came to my house everyday smelling like pee with dirty hair and wearing the same clothing everyday I would call CPS for neglect- espesually if they are on substidized care programs because statistically they are at high risk for abuse and neglect at home. If she gets mad tell her that 'A child's well-being comes first'.
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  #9  
Old 02-19-2013, 01:07 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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Meet her at the door. Have the kids in tow and ready to go.

If need be, have your coat on and your purse over your shoulder.

I don't allow parents beyond the foyer and I also don't have furniture or any diapers, wipes or Kleenex near by to facilitate departure turning into a longer fiasco than it needs to be.

You're going to need to get a backbone and tell her, "Look, my work hours are __ to __. I need to get you in a habit of picking up and heading out. I have chores to do, clean up to do, groceries to get, dry cleaning to pick up, my daughter to pick up from volleyball, etc."

Or simply say,

"DCM, I really enjoyed you visiting with me at departures, however, I simply can't facilitate such visits anymore. I have dinner to make and my own family to tend to. Not to mention but your vehicle is taking up space in the driveway that other parents need to use to pick up their children. If you are concerned about the children's attendance here, I encourage you to schedule an appointment or email me during business hours so we can discuss anything you feel is pertinent. Thanks!"
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