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  #1  
Old 11-03-2016, 06:22 PM
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Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline
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Default No Communication of Mild Symptoms

So my family who has been a bit out of control lately shows up this afternoon and dcb's nose starts running and he is coughing. 5 yo sister tells me that his nose was running all day yesterday and that he was given medicine as well. But of course I was told nothing about this at drop off.

I texted mom and asked about the runny nose and cough and she said he'd had a little. I texted dad at the same time in a separate text (mom is out of town), same answer.
Then I asked each parent if he'd had OTC meds.
Mom's reply: "DH may have given him some Tylenol last night to help him sleep."
Dad's reply: "He was possibly given Tylenol."

Do they not know who gave him medicine???? Did they each think the other did? But dcg was pretty certain that brother had been given meds.

I talked to dad when he showed up, and unless he's reeeeallly good at lying, I think that it's mom who is not being upfront with me, especially since she's the one who dropped off and should have told me.

I expressed to dad that having prior communication about symptoms is a big deal to me. If I don't have the info, I am not being given a choice, and having that choice is important to me. I may have stuff going on here that they don't know about, and I may not feel up to dealing with a sinus thingy that day.

At drop off I talked to mom about the recent defiant behavior. She gave her kids a big talking to, which will probably help, at least with the older sib. But the thing is that I've been wondering if mom is training right now (she races), and I've wondered if that's why the kids have been acting up. Sure enough, dck tells me that mom's trip right now is for a race. I have asked before that mom tell me if she wants care for something other than work, because I really try to make myself available for work (they are only about 10 hours a week), but I will only do other care if things are going well with the other kids and our family. If we have other stresses going on, I don't want to do what is essentially babysitting.

Friday was awful with these kids. They haven't been listening to reminders about rules...3 yo dcb was in my office space "fixing" my computer (huge no-no)...up on the back and arms of my sofas after three reminders (no stunt rule) and so on. I was doing extra care for them on Friday, and I did it with a torn muscle so I was limping, in pain, and really grumpy. I'm not happy to think that I went through this for $5/hr so that mom could train for her hobby.

My contract with this family says that I can charge a fee--the amount being at my discretion--for a list of things including a child being sent with mild symptoms. So of course I 'm going to do that for today.

But I had to sit and have a hard think about if I want to continue care. I'm leaning towards raising rates.
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  #2  
Old 11-04-2016, 11:45 AM
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One thing that doesn't sit well with me is asking the DCG what is going on. This is putting her in a very bad position of either tattling on her parents or not telling the full truth. I wouldn't involve her at all. She is a small child.

You should never do something you don't want to do and of course mom will lie if it means she won't have care. I would just increase the rates and then feel happy that I am being paid what I feel I am worth. If a day of work is not worth it to you no wonder you feel resentful!
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Old 11-04-2016, 12:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Mom2Two View Post
So my family who has been a bit out of control lately shows up this afternoon and dcb's nose starts running and he is coughing. 5 yo sister tells me that his nose was running all day yesterday and that he was given medicine as well. But of course I was told nothing about this at drop off.

I texted mom and asked about the runny nose and cough and she said he'd had a little. I texted dad at the same time in a separate text (mom is out of town), same answer.
Then I asked each parent if he'd had OTC meds.
Mom's reply: "DH may have given him some Tylenol last night to help him sleep."
Dad's reply: "He was possibly given Tylenol."

Do they not know who gave him medicine???? Did they each think the other did? But dcg was pretty certain that brother had been given meds.

I talked to dad when he showed up, and unless he's reeeeallly good at lying, I think that it's mom who is not being upfront with me, especially since she's the one who dropped off and should have told me.

I expressed to dad that having prior communication about symptoms is a big deal to me. If I don't have the info, I am not being given a choice, and having that choice is important to me. I may have stuff going on here that they don't know about, and I may not feel up to dealing with a sinus thingy that day.

At drop off I talked to mom about the recent defiant behavior. She gave her kids a big talking to, which will probably help, at least with the older sib. But the thing is that I've been wondering if mom is training right now (she races), and I've wondered if that's why the kids have been acting up. Sure enough, dck tells me that mom's trip right now is for a race. I have asked before that mom tell me if she wants care for something other than work, because I really try to make myself available for work (they are only about 10 hours a week), but I will only do other care if things are going well with the other kids and our family. If we have other stresses going on, I don't want to do what is essentially babysitting.

Friday was awful with these kids. They haven't been listening to reminders about rules...3 yo dcb was in my office space "fixing" my computer (huge no-no)...up on the back and arms of my sofas after three reminders (no stunt rule) and so on. I was doing extra care for them on Friday, and I did it with a torn muscle so I was limping, in pain, and really grumpy. I'm not happy to think that I went through this for $5/hr so that mom could train for her hobby.

My contract with this family says that I can charge a fee--the amount being at my discretion--for a list of things including a child being sent with mild symptoms. So of course I 'm going to do that for today.

But I had to sit and have a hard think about if I want to continue care. I'm leaning towards raising rates.
The above bolded is intriguing... can you elaborate on what you mean and what kind of things warrant what kinds (how much) fees?

I don't like providing care only for working hours as it's way too stressful to keep track of who is and isn't being truthful about it. Personally, I couldn't do it. Totally understand why some do but I'd stress too much and my goal is less stress so..
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Old 11-04-2016, 12:54 PM
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Hmmm...I'm not seeing huge issues here

The sniffles kind of come with the territory. Dcks behaving badly also happens. It's our job to correct it at our homes/centers.

I see this as your responsibility to keep them away from your computer/couch. Maybe a gate?

It makes for a bad day when dcks are being naughty. Seems like a lot of people are having a rough week - myself included!
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Old 11-04-2016, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
One thing that doesn't sit well with me is asking the DCG what is going on. This is putting her in a very bad position of either tattling on her parents or not telling the full truth. I wouldn't involve her at all. She is a small child.

You should never do something you don't want to do and of course mom will lie if it means she won't have care. I would just increase the rates and then feel happy that I am being paid what I feel I am worth. If a day of work is not worth it to you no wonder you feel resentful!
Dcg volunteered the info on her own. I think I made a comment about dcb's nose beginning to get runny, and dcg just spilled. I did ask some follow-up questions, because I've been having other problems with them.

And yes, it's partly weighing on me because they're getting a great deal (flexible schedule, low rates, and low number of hours per week), and that's why they're here (they travel) and I don't feel like it's quite worth all the other stuff happening. I'm thinking that raising rates is the best thing to do.
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Old 11-04-2016, 02:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
The above bolded is intriguing... can you elaborate on what you mean and what kind of things warrant what kinds (how much) fees?

I don't like providing care only for working hours as it's way too stressful to keep track of who is and isn't being truthful about it. Personally, I couldn't do it. Totally understand why some do but I'd stress too much and my goal is less stress so..
I actually just left it open. I have specific fees for some things in this contract, but I just have this open clause in a couple of contracts rather than list everything. In the two years they've been here, I think I've only charged two or three times (for this open clause). I know it's kinda unusual, but they have never complained. I also have an "either party can term at any time for any reason, no notice necessary" line, so I guess if they felt like I was taking advantage, they'd just be outta here.
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Old 11-04-2016, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I don't like providing care only for working hours as it's way too stressful to keep track of who is and isn't being truthful about it. Personally, I couldn't do it. Totally understand why some do but I'd stress too much and my goal is less stress so..
Me too. My own philosophy is that they pay for care from 7am to 5pm, and what they do during that time is their business. I sometimes get frustrated when a child is picked up at 4:59 and I find out the parent was at home, but at the same time I sometimes want time by myself without my kids so I get it.

Not only do I want to avoid the headache of trying to determine whether a parent is really at work or not, but I also think it encourages parents to lie about where they are when their child is in care.

Just my 2c!
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Old 11-04-2016, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
Hmmm...I'm not seeing huge issues here

The sniffles kind of come with the territory. Dcks behaving badly also happens. It's our job to correct it at our homes/centers.

I see this as your responsibility to keep them away from your computer/couch. Maybe a gate?

It makes for a bad day when dcks are being naughty. Seems like a lot of people are having a rough week - myself included!
I understand what you're saying. It's a bit hard for me to sort this one out, which is partly why I posted. It's like all the little things are tipping the balance for me.

On the discipline...I've dealt with some really hard stuff before, and I do know how to be firm. It's more a question of how hard I want to do battle with an unusually willful child before I don't like the situation. In the case of these kids, they've been at the point where I remind them of a rule three times in a row, and it's like I didn't even open my mouth. I'm only willing to enforce so much with timeouts and assigned chores and loss of privileges.

I think that dcm and dcd have come up with a good system of being firm with 5 yo dcg, but I'm wondering if it's too abstract for the slightly spacy 3 yo. They have a jar with marbles for good behavior, and it has something to do with a trip to Disneyland next year.
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Old 11-04-2016, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
Me too. My own philosophy is that they pay for care from 7am to 5pm, and what they do during that time is their business. I sometimes get frustrated when a child is picked up at 4:59 and I find out the parent was at home, but at the same time I sometimes want time by myself without my kids so I get it.

Not only do I want to avoid the headache of trying to determine whether a parent is really at work or not, but I also think it encourages parents to lie about where they are when their child is in care.

Just my 2c!
Yeeeaaaah...I don't usually stress about it too much either. It's more that I was in pain on Friday but agreed to extra care because I thought Mom was working. Also I've noticed a pattern of the kids becoming wild when Mom is training, and I don't want to be a part of that. And also dcg being sent with mild symptoms with no communication, and my contract specifically mentions that as being a problem.

It's like neither the kids nor me are anywhere near as important as mom's hobby.

I think that my solution on this one is to simply never agree to extra care unless I really want to, and that if I'm sick myself, I will cancel with this family for that day. I'm the type that never closes for family illness.
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