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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need To Just Vent!
Country Kids 01:18 PM 02-24-2012
Ok, I've been back to fulltime childcare about a year now. I had to go back for financial reasons for my family. Thinking back I think everything happened very fast for a reason but too fast for me personally. I have posted every now and then how I really like my job but this last year has just been over the top hard!!!! I have 4-6 children on a daily basis and seriously none of them seem to get along. This is the first group every that I have had like this and I so feel myself aging from the stress of this one certain group.
Below is a list of problems that I've been faced with from this group. No matter what I do/the parents do, the kids just seriously either don't understand what we are saying or could care less. Is it just me or has anyone else had an entire group this way? They are ages 2-3 and all going up to the next age in the next few months. The majority are 3 years old.
Running inside-tell them 100 times a day not to do this
Screaming/Yelling-Alot of this happens at the table! Again a daily thing that they don't seem to understand. One of them is the main ring leader on this and has been timed out over and over again.
Telling Me No-A few have been doing this over the year. Again, concequences don't matter.
Toy Hoarding-All of them to the point I have taken all the toys away. I give them one basket a day but they start the hoarding or literally fighting over the toys.
Not sitting on bottoms at tables-one child actually almost lost a few teeth when they fell and hit the table with their mouth! Every single day, I have to tell them to sit on their bottoms.
Arguing/tattling over every single thing-Another one where is the majority of them.
Not being able to settle down for naps-one in particular that is actually by my side during nap. Talks, sings, yells at the top of their lungs. If I get up to get something, child is immediately up and running around or trying to get others up.
Out of Control while in kitchen-when I go to the kitchen which is connected to the schoolroom all pandomonem breaks out. I'm literally 10 feet from them during this time.
Any ideas? Let me just say I can't cut my numbers-it wouldn't be worth me doing this if I did that. I can't hire an assistant-financially wouldn't be worth it-I can only have 6 children. This is all up to me. My husband is actually floored by these kids behaviors and can't believe they act this way.
I have very involved active parents. Always willing to help me with behavior issues or whatever but the kids just don't understand it or get it. Also, all the children are only children or the youngest with at least 8+ years between them and the next sibling. I'm wondering if they are overstimulated here? I see these children out and they are all very well behaved for their parents and actually don't act out at all with them. One of them will always tuck there head when I see them out like a shy child would. I'm at a loss though, but refuse for as long as I've done this job to be taken down by 2 and 3 year olds-
Below is a list of problems that I've been faced with from this group. No matter what I do/the parents do, the kids just seriously either don't understand what we are saying or could care less. Is it just me or has anyone else had an entire group this way? They are ages 2-3 and all going up to the next age in the next few months. The majority are 3 years old.
Running inside-tell them 100 times a day not to do this
Screaming/Yelling-Alot of this happens at the table! Again a daily thing that they don't seem to understand. One of them is the main ring leader on this and has been timed out over and over again.
Telling Me No-A few have been doing this over the year. Again, concequences don't matter.
Toy Hoarding-All of them to the point I have taken all the toys away. I give them one basket a day but they start the hoarding or literally fighting over the toys.
Not sitting on bottoms at tables-one child actually almost lost a few teeth when they fell and hit the table with their mouth! Every single day, I have to tell them to sit on their bottoms.
Arguing/tattling over every single thing-Another one where is the majority of them.
Not being able to settle down for naps-one in particular that is actually by my side during nap. Talks, sings, yells at the top of their lungs. If I get up to get something, child is immediately up and running around or trying to get others up.
Out of Control while in kitchen-when I go to the kitchen which is connected to the schoolroom all pandomonem breaks out. I'm literally 10 feet from them during this time.
Any ideas? Let me just say I can't cut my numbers-it wouldn't be worth me doing this if I did that. I can't hire an assistant-financially wouldn't be worth it-I can only have 6 children. This is all up to me. My husband is actually floored by these kids behaviors and can't believe they act this way.
I have very involved active parents. Always willing to help me with behavior issues or whatever but the kids just don't understand it or get it. Also, all the children are only children or the youngest with at least 8+ years between them and the next sibling. I'm wondering if they are overstimulated here? I see these children out and they are all very well behaved for their parents and actually don't act out at all with them. One of them will always tuck there head when I see them out like a shy child would. I'm at a loss though, but refuse for as long as I've done this job to be taken down by 2 and 3 year olds-
CheekyChick 01:26 PM 02-24-2012
Most of our 2 to 3 year olds are very good, but we have a few that are EXACTLY like you described. One told me today that she "likes" time outs. What do you do with a child who doesn't care if he/she has a time out? I think I am going to go back to my old way that seemed to work. Bribery. If they are good the ENTIRE day (no time outs) they get to pick a toy/goody from the basket. I hope it will make a difference.
Country Kids 01:31 PM 02-24-2012
Mine seriously won't even do that. I have a wonderful mama that actually brought goodie bags filled to the brim and anyone that was good all day could have one. I think only one may have received one! Its just rediculous. I honestly think in my heart that they know they can't get spanked from us (I don't want to be flamed for this because I wouldn't do it) so its no big deal to have to sit in a time out. Some of my children are spanked and walk a very straight line with their parents and everything breaks loose here.
Country Kids 01:53 PM 02-24-2012
Also, what frustrates me is I love, love, love to teach preschool. This group can't handle that either. They either just sit there while I sing, do the calendar, or screame everything at the top of their lungs-
. I've tried letting the ones that aren't interested go off but then I lose the entire group to not wanting to do it. We have sat down to do coloring and 5 min later the entire group starts saying they are done! Today was a playdough day and I finally had to put it away due to them throwing it. I went to get something in the kitchen (10 feet) came back and one of the kids had put the playdough on the floor and smashing it into the carpet. I just do not understand this group!
. I've tried letting the ones that aren't interested go off but then I lose the entire group to not wanting to do it. We have sat down to do coloring and 5 min later the entire group starts saying they are done! Today was a playdough day and I finally had to put it away due to them throwing it. I went to get something in the kitchen (10 feet) came back and one of the kids had put the playdough on the floor and smashing it into the carpet. I just do not understand this group!
MyAngels 02:01 PM 02-24-2012
In the past when I've had a group that just couldn't get along well together I would separate them into singles or groups of 2, depending on their personalities. I'd give each duo or single an area to play and something to play with (my choice). It always seemed to help to give them a breather from each other.
That doesn't address all of your issues, but may give you at least a morning of sanity.
That doesn't address all of your issues, but may give you at least a morning of sanity.
Heidi 02:02 PM 02-24-2012
Country....do they do better outside? I know you said you can't get out bc of weather, but when you do, is it better?
What is your daily schedule?
Describe your space, please. How many rooms to use, how big, and how is it split up, if at all. Pics would be great, if you have them. PM me if you don't want to post them publicly, and I'll see what I can do to help.
What is your daily schedule?
Describe your space, please. How many rooms to use, how big, and how is it split up, if at all. Pics would be great, if you have them. PM me if you don't want to post them publicly, and I'll see what I can do to help.
daycare 02:53 PM 02-28-2012
Quick question....did they all start around the same time or how far apart from the next?
Also are they getting enough sleep at home?
Running inside-tell them 100 times a day not to do this
Stop. Sit NOW! use a firm voice
if they do it again, repeat above and they crawl or scoot, no more using your legs if you can't use your walking feet. I have them do this for at least 10-15 min.
Screaming/Yelling-Alot of this happens at the table!
Is this during eating time? I would remove them from the table and put them at their own table away from the group and ignore him completely. No friends to give him attention and none from you either... TUrn your ears off.
Arguing/tattling
dont listen to it. Have them tell the bear or get a tattle turttle. When they come to you to tell you say go tell the turtle thank you and go on with what you were doing.
I know this sounds silly, but you spent a week or so and show them what you want them to do, what you expect of them and show them how to play with each other. I have had to do this with some kids and let me tell you it's HE (( on me, but it's so worth it in the long run.
I hope that others can give you advice. I really want to see you happy, you seem like such a sweet person who is trying everything you can. I see that and I know that others do too.....
Also are they getting enough sleep at home?
Running inside-tell them 100 times a day not to do this
Stop. Sit NOW! use a firm voice
if they do it again, repeat above and they crawl or scoot, no more using your legs if you can't use your walking feet. I have them do this for at least 10-15 min.
Screaming/Yelling-Alot of this happens at the table!
Is this during eating time? I would remove them from the table and put them at their own table away from the group and ignore him completely. No friends to give him attention and none from you either... TUrn your ears off.
Arguing/tattling
dont listen to it. Have them tell the bear or get a tattle turttle. When they come to you to tell you say go tell the turtle thank you and go on with what you were doing.
I know this sounds silly, but you spent a week or so and show them what you want them to do, what you expect of them and show them how to play with each other. I have had to do this with some kids and let me tell you it's HE (( on me, but it's so worth it in the long run.
I hope that others can give you advice. I really want to see you happy, you seem like such a sweet person who is trying everything you can. I see that and I know that others do too.....
Hunni Bee 05:11 PM 02-28-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Below is a list of problems that I've been faced with from this group. No matter what I do/the parents do, the kids just seriously either don't understand what we are saying or could care less. Is it just me or has anyone else had an entire group this way? They are ages 2-3 and all going up to the next age in the next few months. The majority are 3 years old.
Running inside-tell them 100 times a day not to do this
Another poster suggested "stop-sit". Usually works for me.
Screaming/Yelling-Alot of this happens at the table! Again a daily thing that they don't seem to understand. One of them is the main ring leader on this and has been timed out over and over again.
They understand. I do my own version of "silent lunch" if its just ridiculous, where there's no talking for 5-10 minutes and then I explain that we use inside voices or no voices.
Telling Me No-A few have been doing this over the year. Again, concequences don't matter.
That use to get me, until I realized that they have the right to object, they just don't have the right to not do as I ask. I help them do it if I get "no".
Toy Hoarding-All of them to the point I have taken all the toys away. I give them one basket a day but they start the hoarding or literally fighting over the toys.
I just redistribute any toy piles. Anybody fighting gets to play alone with toys of my choosing for a while.
Not sitting on bottoms at tables-one child actually almost lost a few teeth when they fell and hit the table with their mouth! Every single day, I have to tell them to sit on their bottoms.
I had one to get a black eye like that. I just take the chair and say "I don't want this chair to hurt you, so I'm going to put it away for a while."
Arguing/tattling over every single thing-Another one where is the majority of them.
I still have this every day. I just end all arguments or tattletales and redirect (Go play now) every. single. time.
Not being able to settle down for naps-one in particular that is actually by my side during nap. Talks, sings, yells at the top of their lungs. If I get up to get something, child is immediately up and running around or trying to get others up.
I'd put that child down after every else is asleep. Keep them at your side, but don't talk to them, let them read books, etc. If you get up, take them with with you.
Out of Control while in kitchen-when I go to the kitchen which is connected to the schoolroom all pandomonem breaks out. I'm literally 10 feet from them during this time.
Not sure about this one. I've just gotten so I can go to next room for a sec without chaos, so I don't know. But I know you have to fix lunch, etc. Can you give them books, puzzles (maybe some special "waiting time" stuff that they only get during that time) and maybe put two at the table, two on the kitchen floor and two in the school room?
Any ideas? Let me just say I can't cut my numbers-it wouldn't be worth me doing this if I did that. I can't hire an assistant-financially wouldn't be worth it-I can only have 6 children. This is all up to me. My husband is actually floored by these kids behaviors and can't believe they act this way.
My suggestions are colored. I've had many, many kids like this. We get a lot of "cast-offs" from other centers who were termed because of either child's behavior or parent's behavior or both. Ask me if this makes me happy. But I had to learn to cope. Most of this stuff I only have to use occasionally when their behavior is out of control. Just some suggestions.
I hope it gets better.
I answered in message.Below is a list of problems that I've been faced with from this group. No matter what I do/the parents do, the kids just seriously either don't understand what we are saying or could care less. Is it just me or has anyone else had an entire group this way? They are ages 2-3 and all going up to the next age in the next few months. The majority are 3 years old.
Running inside-tell them 100 times a day not to do this
Another poster suggested "stop-sit". Usually works for me.
Screaming/Yelling-Alot of this happens at the table! Again a daily thing that they don't seem to understand. One of them is the main ring leader on this and has been timed out over and over again.
They understand. I do my own version of "silent lunch" if its just ridiculous, where there's no talking for 5-10 minutes and then I explain that we use inside voices or no voices.
Telling Me No-A few have been doing this over the year. Again, concequences don't matter.
That use to get me, until I realized that they have the right to object, they just don't have the right to not do as I ask. I help them do it if I get "no".
Toy Hoarding-All of them to the point I have taken all the toys away. I give them one basket a day but they start the hoarding or literally fighting over the toys.
I just redistribute any toy piles. Anybody fighting gets to play alone with toys of my choosing for a while.
Not sitting on bottoms at tables-one child actually almost lost a few teeth when they fell and hit the table with their mouth! Every single day, I have to tell them to sit on their bottoms.
I had one to get a black eye like that. I just take the chair and say "I don't want this chair to hurt you, so I'm going to put it away for a while."
Arguing/tattling over every single thing-Another one where is the majority of them.
I still have this every day. I just end all arguments or tattletales and redirect (Go play now) every. single. time.
Not being able to settle down for naps-one in particular that is actually by my side during nap. Talks, sings, yells at the top of their lungs. If I get up to get something, child is immediately up and running around or trying to get others up.
I'd put that child down after every else is asleep. Keep them at your side, but don't talk to them, let them read books, etc. If you get up, take them with with you.
Out of Control while in kitchen-when I go to the kitchen which is connected to the schoolroom all pandomonem breaks out. I'm literally 10 feet from them during this time.
Not sure about this one. I've just gotten so I can go to next room for a sec without chaos, so I don't know. But I know you have to fix lunch, etc. Can you give them books, puzzles (maybe some special "waiting time" stuff that they only get during that time) and maybe put two at the table, two on the kitchen floor and two in the school room?
Any ideas? Let me just say I can't cut my numbers-it wouldn't be worth me doing this if I did that. I can't hire an assistant-financially wouldn't be worth it-I can only have 6 children. This is all up to me. My husband is actually floored by these kids behaviors and can't believe they act this way.
My suggestions are colored. I've had many, many kids like this. We get a lot of "cast-offs" from other centers who were termed because of either child's behavior or parent's behavior or both. Ask me if this makes me happy. But I had to learn to cope. Most of this stuff I only have to use occasionally when their behavior is out of control. Just some suggestions.
I hope it gets better.
jenn 07:17 PM 02-28-2012
Here's my advice for what it's worth!
Sounds like they are feeding off of each other and you are going to have your hands full regaining control.
Something that works for me when everyone gets too wound up is individual play. Everyone picks a toy, assign them each an area (as far apart as possible), and don't let them move from that area. Once they seem to be all calmed down, we try to play together. If it doesn't work, we go back to individual play.
Running inside- They can't run if they are sitting. I give one warning about remembering to walk, and then if they do it again, they sit. They can play with a toy, but have to stay on their bottom. It's not me giving them a time out or punishment, just me enforcing safety rules.
Screaming/Yelling & not sitting at the table- Only those following table rules get to stay at the table. If they are yelling, they need to leave. Do you have somewhere else they can sit to eat? If they can't sit safely on a chair, sit them on the floor. Maybe change up table/meal times. Try picnic style inside/outside, act like it's a restaurant,...
Meal prep- I have a bag for each child with little toys or activities that they only get at that time. Just some colors, activity books, really just dollar store type toys, but since they only get them at that time, they stay busy.
Not being able to settle down for naps- I know you said that you can't terminate anyone. I would be advertising and as soon as you find someone, the nap problem causer would be gone. Explain to the parent that once a child has outgrown the need/ability to nap they have outgrown your care. Maybe if the others were able to rest well, they would calm down a bit for the rest of the day.
Hang in there! I know it can be so frustrating, but it can be so rewarding too!
Sounds like they are feeding off of each other and you are going to have your hands full regaining control.
Something that works for me when everyone gets too wound up is individual play. Everyone picks a toy, assign them each an area (as far apart as possible), and don't let them move from that area. Once they seem to be all calmed down, we try to play together. If it doesn't work, we go back to individual play.
Running inside- They can't run if they are sitting. I give one warning about remembering to walk, and then if they do it again, they sit. They can play with a toy, but have to stay on their bottom. It's not me giving them a time out or punishment, just me enforcing safety rules.
Screaming/Yelling & not sitting at the table- Only those following table rules get to stay at the table. If they are yelling, they need to leave. Do you have somewhere else they can sit to eat? If they can't sit safely on a chair, sit them on the floor. Maybe change up table/meal times. Try picnic style inside/outside, act like it's a restaurant,...
Meal prep- I have a bag for each child with little toys or activities that they only get at that time. Just some colors, activity books, really just dollar store type toys, but since they only get them at that time, they stay busy.
Not being able to settle down for naps- I know you said that you can't terminate anyone. I would be advertising and as soon as you find someone, the nap problem causer would be gone. Explain to the parent that once a child has outgrown the need/ability to nap they have outgrown your care. Maybe if the others were able to rest well, they would calm down a bit for the rest of the day.
Hang in there! I know it can be so frustrating, but it can be so rewarding too!
daycare 07:28 PM 02-28-2012
Something that works for me when everyone gets too wound up is individual play. Everyone picks a toy, assign them each an area (as far apart as possible), and don't let them move from that area. Once they seem to be all calmed down, we try to play together. If it doesn't work, we go back to individual play.
above is great advice....about 6 years ago I recall having to buy play mats. The kids were terrible to each other and I could not take it. I went to the dollar tree and bought these cheesy door mats. When the kids were going nuts I put the mats down and told each kid same as PP. Get one toy and go sit on your mat. It took almost 2 full weeks of this before I would allow for them to get off of their mat and start to interact with each other. I would take note of how they were playing with the toys. Playing gentle, rough, violent, and etc.
Then once I saw how each played, I quickly figured out who would play well with who and those that would not. I let the ones that I thought play well together join each other first. Then a day later I added one more and one more and so on. IF at any time someone could not get along with the group, back to their mat they went.
Eventually I termed one after a full month of the mats and individual to group play. This kid just could not get it and took everyone else down with him like a bad virus.
I really hope that you try some of these out and see if they work for you. If I were you I would be doing all that I could.
I hate to see you unhappy.... We all have to help you out with as many ideas as possible until you find something that works
above is great advice....about 6 years ago I recall having to buy play mats. The kids were terrible to each other and I could not take it. I went to the dollar tree and bought these cheesy door mats. When the kids were going nuts I put the mats down and told each kid same as PP. Get one toy and go sit on your mat. It took almost 2 full weeks of this before I would allow for them to get off of their mat and start to interact with each other. I would take note of how they were playing with the toys. Playing gentle, rough, violent, and etc.
Then once I saw how each played, I quickly figured out who would play well with who and those that would not. I let the ones that I thought play well together join each other first. Then a day later I added one more and one more and so on. IF at any time someone could not get along with the group, back to their mat they went.
Eventually I termed one after a full month of the mats and individual to group play. This kid just could not get it and took everyone else down with him like a bad virus.
I really hope that you try some of these out and see if they work for you. If I were you I would be doing all that I could.
I hate to see you unhappy.... We all have to help you out with as many ideas as possible until you find something that works