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Old 07-30-2013, 09:09 PM
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Default How Do You Get 'Me' Time??

First off, very thankful for my job. I have 2 sets of twins (2 yrs and 4yrs) plus my kids 7, 4 and 2. There are some extremely rough days. Today was one of them, I think they forgot yesterday was Monday and acted like they usually do on Mondays on today instead. I thought I got away with a good Monday for once nope!
Anywho...my husband works 2 jobs in the process of quitting his full time job to be self employed (that's enough stress in itself) so he is literally gone from 4:30am until 9:30pm almost everyday.
Daycare starts at 7:30 until 4:30 everyday. As soon as dck's leave I have to start in on dinner and pick up for the 50th time that day.
How and what do you ladies do for you?! We don't get help from family. I'm sick of paying outrageous amounts to high school kids to come over and watch my kids (I pay them better than I get paid so they'll keep coming back cuz lets face it kids these days do not want to work) so I can never justify having them come over so I can get away for an hour or 2 cuz I mean really it doesn't help. I need like an entire Saturday once a month for just me!! Doing whatever it is I want to do so I can recharge my batteries.
All I hear all day is my name or mom being yelled at me. I can't even go pee (tmi) without someone hollaring for me. That darn horrible question "why?" And "What are you doing?" Constantly is about to drive me up a wall! They know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.
No amount of games and conversation is enough when your constantly surrounded by little people with no adult interaction. Sorry just needed a quick vent from people who hopefully know where I'm coming from.
I feel like Groundhog Day. I keep waking up and repeating the same day over and over. Just in a funk
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Old 07-30-2013, 09:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tdhmom View Post
First off, very thankful for my job. I have 2 sets of twins (2 yrs and 4yrs) plus my kids 7, 4 and 2. There are some extremely rough days. Today was one of them, I think they forgot yesterday was Monday and acted like they usually do on Mondays on today instead. I thought I got away with a good Monday for once nope!
Anywho...my husband works 2 jobs in the process of quitting his full time job to be self employed (that's enough stress in itself) so he is literally gone from 4:30am until 9:30pm almost everyday.
Daycare starts at 7:30 until 4:30 everyday. As soon as dck's leave I have to start in on dinner and pick up for the 50th time that day.
How and what do you ladies do for you?! We don't get help from family. I'm sick of paying outrageous amounts to high school kids to come over and watch my kids (I pay them better than I get paid so they'll keep coming back cuz lets face it kids these days do not want to work) so I can never justify having them come over so I can get away for an hour or 2 cuz I mean really it doesn't help. I need like an entire Saturday once a month for just me!! Doing whatever it is I want to do so I can recharge my batteries.
All I hear all day is my name or mom being yelled at me. I can't even go pee (tmi) without someone hollaring for me. That darn horrible question "why?" And "What are you doing?" Constantly is about to drive me up a wall! They know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.
No amount of games and conversation is enough when your constantly surrounded by little people with no adult interaction. Sorry just needed a quick vent from people who hopefully know where I'm coming from.
I feel like Groundhog Day. I keep waking up and repeating the same day over and over. Just in a funk
hugs to you........I know this sounds mean, but the only kids I have ever really wanted to kick out of my daycare was my own.....kids always behave better for others....usually

I will say that having a consistent schedule and routine really does help cut out a lot of issues right away, so if you don't have that I would start there. Same goes with discipline, be consistent about the consequences and the rules..... that also really helps.

perhaps you can join a mom group that does kid swap.....this way you can get a day to yourself at least once a month. I really don't think that is asking too much. I get that at least once a month. My husband is very understanding so he makes sure that I get that mental and physical break from my job......

this form offers lots of great advice.....I would keep coming back to see what others might suggest as well....

welcome to the board
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Old 07-30-2013, 10:33 PM
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I can relate 100%! My boys are 7, 5 and almost 2....I have 5 daycare kids ranging from 10 weeks to age 4 - and my husband is military so he is gone ALOT. Military also means no family as we are in Alaska and 'home' is Maine

I don't have an answer for you...as I am in the SAME EXACT RUT you are....I was thinking about taking Fri off but realized my kids will be even harder to handle without kids here entertaining them......my me time consists of peeing and playing a life of candy crush...seriously!!!!!

PM me and we can chat....!!
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:44 AM
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Is it possible to join a gym with babysitting so you can at least get a short break?

I agree with the poster who mentioned "swapping" with another family if possible.

Honestly, I take days off during the school year and send my kids to school and husband to work
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:50 AM
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Those of you who still have little ones of your own have a tougher job than dcproviders like me. But I went through it too, way back when. The only difference was my dh worked till 4 or 5 and figured his work day was done so he didn't lift a finger once he got home. I needed to have supper on the table, see all the dcks off, clean up the house, bathe our own kids, read them stories and tuck them in. They'd run out to his recliner(heaven forbid if it interrupted anything but a commercial) and hug him goodnight. Resent much? Yeh I did. Anyways, I honestly cannot remember any ME time back then. Weekends were my time, when the yard sales hit, but I still took my kids with me. So I was never alone. I literally cried in private because I yearned for just 10 minutes of solitude.

I would reenforce quiet time, for you, if for nobody else. Even on weekends. Your 7 yo can read books or color, play blocks or something while your younger ones nap. Make it for an hour and let them know that no way are they to bother you, unless the house is on fire. As for longer blocks of time, Have no clue. I don't remember any social life without bringing the kids along. Carving out a little time here and there is better than no time.

Much luck to you!!!
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:56 AM
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I do not have small children, but I always seem to have a stack of things that need my attention the minute the last child leaves. Keep your hit list small on the weekend of things to do is all I can offer. Oh..., eat chocolate.
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Old 07-31-2013, 05:10 AM
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I have 5 kids and 5 dcks. My kids are 3, 6, 6, 7, 9. Dcks are 10mo, 20mo, 2, 4, 9.

1. I make sure I get up before anyone, those 30-45 mins alone are really nice.

2. I get to sleep in on weekends and do any errands all alone
I also get mani pedis

3. I get one weekend to myself, I send the kids to gmoms or their dads. Weekends my hubs kids are here are his responsibility on this weekend.

4.My kids are in bed at 7 during the school year!!

5. I recharge at nap time!

I also take days off during the school year. It isn't perfect, but I make it happen. I try to start dinner before the dcks leave, so prep is done at lunch. Dinner is served as soon as my dcks leave. They play outside while I clean up. I try and also finish preparing thd next day after dinner is done. Then bath and bed. It is my goal to be done every night before bath. I'm ready to put my feet up by the time 8 rolls around. It's frustrating, im always on....
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Old 07-31-2013, 05:28 AM
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this is bad, but I sign my kids up for activities and then I sneak out for a coffee. this way they get to have fun and someone is watching them, even if its only for an hour.

I also get up earlier than my kids to have peace and quiet even for a half hour.
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Old 07-31-2013, 06:37 AM
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I too get up a 1/2 hour earlier than needed some mornings, just to putter & move at my own pace before the chaos & demands of the day begin. I use 1/2 of nap to get chores done making the load a bit easier at night. Betimes are between 7 and 8pm & I stay up until 11pm. That is my me/chore time. I do get down time, but getting out beyond the yard without the kiddos in toe is rare. I remind myself it is temporary. Crock pots and freezer meals have become my evening time & sanity savers. That end of daycare start into dinner/evening routine seems to the most hectic time.
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Old 07-31-2013, 06:55 AM
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My own kids are 10, 8, and 5, and finding that "me" time is hard. One of the things I started doing when my kids were really young was train them to spend time alone in their rooms. Sometimes I would have to put up a gate to help them learn this, but eventually they caught on. Now, if there isn't time to get away, which is often, I can say room time, and they all understand that they need to go into their rooms and occupy themselves for a while as mom recharges. It helps.
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Old 07-31-2013, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Tdhmom View Post
First off, very thankful for my job. I have 2 sets of twins (2 yrs and 4yrs) plus my kids 7, 4 and 2. There are some extremely rough days. Today was one of them, I think they forgot yesterday was Monday and acted like they usually do on Mondays on today instead. I thought I got away with a good Monday for once nope!
Anywho...my husband works 2 jobs in the process of quitting his full time job to be self employed (that's enough stress in itself) so he is literally gone from 4:30am until 9:30pm almost everyday.
Daycare starts at 7:30 until 4:30 everyday. As soon as dck's leave I have to start in on dinner and pick up for the 50th time that day.
How and what do you ladies do for you?! We don't get help from family. I'm sick of paying outrageous amounts to high school kids to come over and watch my kids (I pay them better than I get paid so they'll keep coming back cuz lets face it kids these days do not want to work) so I can never justify having them come over so I can get away for an hour or 2 cuz I mean really it doesn't help. I need like an entire Saturday once a month for just me!! Doing whatever it is I want to do so I can recharge my batteries.
All I hear all day is my name or mom being yelled at me. I can't even go pee (tmi) without someone hollaring for me. That darn horrible question "why?" And "What are you doing?" Constantly is about to drive me up a wall! They know what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.
No amount of games and conversation is enough when your constantly surrounded by little people with no adult interaction. Sorry just needed a quick vent from people who hopefully know where I'm coming from.
I feel like Groundhog Day. I keep waking up and repeating the same day over and over. Just in a funk
I hear you. I feel the same way, and unless my husband took a week to spend with these kids, he would never understand. He is gone nights, so I am "on duty" from the moment I rise until I fall into bed. I get 6 hours of sleep a night, and no time to myself, either. I do have family near, and they won't watch my baby because "I asked for it" when I had him. My friends and family are either done raising their kids or nearly there, and they seem to have forgotten about every time I took their kids off their hands when they needed a break.

The high school kids getting paid "outrageously"? I get paid less per hour/per kid than I did in high school (25 years ago). It's not "kids today", it is that WE are not getting paid enough. I wish I had advice for you-I'm not getting "me" time, either. I don't need a day at the spa, I'd settle for 2 hours to organize a closet or something! You're not alone. I tell myself that it's just part of being a mom-other moms like to see you struggle, because it happened to them, too. Those moms who have family and friends who support them (I THOUGHT I did, until I had my child) had better recognize how lucky they are!

Continue to pay the teenager-my teenage sitter got a "real" job, and the one before that wouldn't put her cell phone down long enough to care for my son. It's hard to find a teen that you can trust, too!
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Old 07-31-2013, 09:18 AM
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this is bad, but I sign my kids up for activities and then I sneak out for a coffee. this way they get to have fun and someone is watching them, even if its only for an hour.
I enrolled my kids in a church group one night each week.(Wednesday)

It was 6:30 until 8:00. They already attended Sunday school and regular church services but I figured the Wednesday night would be good for me.

It was.

I spent time wandering around stores WITH NO KIDS just browsing happily, sometimes I met up with a friend for coffee and other times, I simply sat in the car in the church parking lot and read UNINTERUPTED.

It was heavenly.


Another option is to network with other moms and try and do a swap for sitting services. Works great!

Everyone gets "me" time and no one has to pay.
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Old 07-31-2013, 10:11 AM
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I was trying to think back to those days for some helpful advice when I realized I didn't have any, since I never figured out how to do it consistently at all

I will say, though, that now that my kids are grown I have all the "me" time I need, and then some. At least if you never get it figured out you have something to look forward to, right?
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Old 07-31-2013, 01:02 PM
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I clean an elderly gentlemens house. I LOVE to clean, and he doesn't bother me. So its two hours of mindlessness. Also, if its been a hairy day I let DH know and he takes over and I go off somewhere or just sit on the couch and do nothing.
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:27 PM
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I tend to go sit in a bathtub and yell, "I'M NAKED!!!" when my son knocks on my bedroom door.

HOWEVER, I don't have a little one. She'll be here in the next 5 weeks or so. So, for now this method works.
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Old 07-31-2013, 03:55 PM
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I'm a single mom of a 2.5 year old. I know how you feel. My jobs are never ever ever ever done. Her father does take her Monday nights and tuesday nights but I clean houses on those nights after the dcks get picked up. Right now my dcks are 14 mo, 15 mo, 2.5 and a 13yo special needs. I'm always so tired. My only trick is to enjoy that extra hour of sleep to the FULLEST on tuesdays (dd gets up at 6 but when she inst here I can sleep til 7-715 since I dont open til 730). And sometimes I'll drink a glass of wine and surf pinterest while she eats dinner. She generally gets to watch her "shows" during this time so its almost quiet. After bed I finish tidying up and then try to at least lay on the couch and watch one thing I want before going to bed. This job is draining. I'm getting ready to go back to school on top of everything so I can get out of this.
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:33 PM
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I enrolled my kids in a church group one night each week.(Wednesday)

It was 6:30 until 8:00. They already attended Sunday school and regular church services but I figured the Wednesday night would be good for me.

It was.

I spent time wandering around stores WITH NO KIDS just browsing happily, sometimes I met up with a friend for coffee and other times, I simply sat in the car in the church parking lot and read UNINTERUPTED.

It was heavenly.


Another option is to network with other moms and try and do a swap for sitting services. Works great!

Everyone gets "me" time and no one has to pay.

ok, and here I thought I was the only one. I love going to the stores by myself its so nice. sometimes I would sit and crochet in peace too.
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:35 PM
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so since we never have me time because we are so busy, why is it that parents of our daycare children need so much me time.
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:38 PM
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I don't think I got any me time the first 5+ years of my kids lives. Actually, maybe my p/t job at night could have been considered my me time?? LOL!

Now they are a little older (7, 10, 13) and all involved in sports so I get some quiet time while they are at practices, etc. but I'm still shuffling them all over the place. My DH is also really good about letting me get out of the house - I will mindlessly walk around Target for an hour after a crazy day and he NEVER makes a peep about messes or anything like that.

The truth is there can be a few hard years in there but there is a light at the end of the tunnel eventually!
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Old 08-01-2013, 05:40 AM
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so since we never have me time because we are so busy, why is it that parents of our daycare children need so much me time.
And this is why I have no issues taking a paid personal day here and there during the school year so *I* can "get things done" without kids underfoot
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Old 08-01-2013, 06:34 AM
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hugs to you........I know this sounds mean, but the only kids I have ever really wanted to kick out of my daycare was my own.....kids always behave better for others....usually

I will say that having a consistent schedule and routine really does help cut out a lot of issues right away, so if you don't have that I would start there. Same goes with discipline, be consistent about the consequences and the rules..... that also really helps.

perhaps you can join a mom group that does kid swap.....this way you can get a day to yourself at least once a month. I really don't think that is asking too much. I get that at least once a month. My husband is very understanding so he makes sure that I get that mental and physical break from my job......

this form offers lots of great advice.....I would keep coming back to see what others might suggest as well....

welcome to the board
Omg I've told that to myself every other day!!! My daughter can be the worse sometimes hahahaha I think she just gets sick of sharing everything she owns! She doesn't have a lot that she calls her 'own' she has 2 older brothers so we are overran with boy toys. That's why I'm assuming she can be so mean lol and my oldest is 7 and completely bored out of his mind (so ready for school!) all of our activities are "too little" for him. I wish my friend would let him come over and play like I let her son...that doesn't happen. So I quit inviting him over. I'm not torturing myself if she isn't going to reciprocate!
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Old 08-01-2013, 06:43 AM
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Thank you all so much for replying!!! And all the helpful advice!! I do get sucked into books. I call it my escape from reality! Granted the only time I can read is bedtime and I stay up until midnight doing it :-/ just finished beautiful disaster...loved it!
All of you that don't have family to help...I am so sorry! I know how hard it is. We live 2 blocks from my husbands mom and she has seriously said we only talk to her when we want a sitter...haven't ASKED her to babysit for 3 years! She volunteers maybe twice a year and it comes with stipulations. The last time she watched them for a NIGHT I got stuck taking care of her dogs for almost a week! The time before that, I got stuck watching her 17 year old son (I stayed home by myself at 17...just sayin) for an entire week while they took a cruise. So it's not even worth it for her to watch her own grand kids.
My step mom will randomly come and pick up my kids. Which is great! But I don't get notice so I'm stuck babysitting still haha
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Old 08-01-2013, 06:49 AM
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Childcare for my own kids is sporadic at best but sometimes I get a night or two free. (where I aim to clean the house but usually end up laying around like a bachelor all weekend recharging with junk food and movies, lol!)

Barring that I stay up stupidly late, which of course, I would not recommend.

My kids are fairly self sufficient too so sometimes, if needed, I can just say, go play. I sometimes tell them straight up, I need to be left alone right now. Sometimes it works, other times, not so much.
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Old 08-02-2013, 10:25 AM
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It gets better as your children get older. I have five sons 18,17,14,11,9 and I do get my breaks now that they are older. I go out once a month with friends once a month with dh and get a manicure and pedicure. You have to take for yourself in this job otherwise you will burn out
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