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Old 05-09-2014, 08:43 AM
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Default Biting/kicking Policy please read/tell me what to change!

Dear Families,

I am updating a few policies. These policy updates are for the safety and well-being of all children in our daycare.

1. Biting – biting is a normal behavior in children that are non-verbal and or unable to communicate their feelings in another way. This is fairly common in children under the age of 2. Or in those children that are teething. Biting will not be tolerated in the daycare. Redirection and prevention is used for those children under the age of two. Children who are verbal and have shown that are able to communicate their needs but, bite for whatever reason will be given an immediate time out. If the biting continues the child will be suspended from daycare for 24hrs. If there are continued incidents the child will no longer be allowed into care. The daycare is liable for the injury that is caused by the biter. This is not something that the daycare will tolerate.

2. Kicking – Kicking of the animals in daycare will not be allowed. Again this is also a developmental area. Children under the age of 2 are still learning cause and effect. Each situation and child is different and each will be handled differently. Children over the age of two who have shown me that they understand cause and effect, grasp the concept of gentle hands, gentle feet will be given an immediate time out. If there is a 2nd incident the child will be suspended from daycare for 24hrs. If it happens again the child will no longer be allowed into care. Our pets are VERY tolerant with the children, the children thoroughly enjoy playing with them and I believe the animals love the children. Hurting of our pets will not be tolerated.


Thank you for sharing your children with me. I hope by making these policies very clear we together as a team can teach the children to be gentle, loving, caring people.
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sprat View Post
Dear Families,

I am updating a few policies. These policy updates are for the safety and well-being of all children in our daycare.

1. Biting – biting is a normal behavior in children that are non-verbal and or unable to communicate their feelings in another way. This is fairly common in children under the age of 2. Or in those children that are teething. Biting will not be tolerated in the daycare. << (I would change this sentence to this: Biting for any other reason than lack of communication skills due to age or teething will not be tolerated). Redirection and prevention is used for those children under the age of two. Children who are verbal and have shown that are able to communicate their needs but, bite for whatever reason will be given an immediate time out. If the biting continues the child will be suspended from daycare for 24hrs. If there are continued incidents the child will no longer be allowed into care. (I would give a specific number of incidents when termination will occur, such as after 3 or 5). The daycare is liable for the injury that is caused by the biter. <<<(I would eliminate this. You may be setting yourself up for trouble by telling parents you are liable. And I wouldn't refer to the child as "the biter". Some people view that as negatively labeling. I would say "the child who bites") This is not something that the daycare will tolerate.

2. Kicking – Kicking of the animals in daycare will not be allowed. Again this is also a developmental area. Children under the age of 2 are still learning cause and effect. Each situation and child is different and each will be handled differently. Children over the age of two who have shown me that they understand cause and effect, grasp the concept of gentle hands, gentle feet will be given an immediate time out. If there is a 2nd incident the child will be suspended from daycare for 24hrs. If it happens again the child will no longer be allowed into care. Our pets are VERY tolerant with the children, the children thoroughly enjoy playing with them and I believe the animals love the children. Hurting of our pets will not be tolerated. (This is perfect!)


Thank you for sharing your children with me. I hope by making these policies very clear we together as a team can teach the children to be gentle, loving, caring people.
I used () to point out what I would change.
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:31 AM
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I think you need to be more specific about how often it will be tolerated before termination, like 3x or whatever. I also think sending a child home for biting for 24 hours accomplishes nothing. The child doesn't understand the cause/effect, the parent can't actually do anything about it, and 24 hours doesn't magically cure anything.

I like that you acknowledged that biting is normal behavior, if not OK behavior.

Maybe you could be more specific about steps to prevent and curb biting, and consequences if it's not cured quickly.

Like:
-Shadowing the child to attempt to stop the biting before it happens.
-Separating the child an activity in a high chair or pnp when shadowing is not an option.
-Redirecting the child to something they CAN bite...like a teether on a pacifier strap
-Teaching the child a few signs or simple words to communicate. Parents can reinforce this at home by using the same words, phrases, or signs.

I'm not saying what you wrote is bad. I just don't think it's really specific enough to help parents work with you, or to stop the behavior, and it's still kind of arbitrary as to what leads to termination. KWIM?
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:41 AM
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Are you just looking to re-word your current policies in regards to these issues or have you had a couple incidences of biting and kicking lately?

I guess I am just curious as to why the need to have a written plan for something I would probably just handle privately for each occurrence since each of those behaviors are things that are usually directly related to the temperament and individual child...kwim?
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Old 05-09-2014, 09:47 AM
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I am thinking along the lines of what BC said. This is something that I have learned over time that we really need to address the problem, not change or rewrite more rules.

I would just have a basic zero tolerance for violence policy and then type out the actions that will take place should any violence occur.

For me, anyone who did what your kids are doing would be termed on the spot. BUT my kids are older and know better so this is why. I have never had a biting episode, so I guess I would just consider that violence and go from there.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:27 AM
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This is for a three yr old boy. I was re-reading my handbook and it was never addressed clearly. It only applies to one child. In doing a general statement I was hoping to also reassure other parents.

I have addressed this several times with the mother and the behavior continues. He is verbal and understands what it does to others and the consequences that follow. In four months he has bitten myself, my daughter and a dcb.

So should I just address this with DCM and then let her know that I have a zero tolerance policy on this? I have expressed my concern and told her it needs to stop but,.....
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Sprat View Post
This is for a three yr old boy. I was re-reading my handbook and it was never addressed clearly. It only applies to one child. In doing a general statement I was hoping to also reassure other parents.

I have addressed this several times with the mother and the behavior continues. He is verbal and understands what it does to others and the consequences that follow. In four months he has bitten myself, my daughter and a dcb.

So should I just address this with DCM and then let her know that I have a zero tolerance policy on this? I have expressed my concern and told her it needs to stop but,.....
It sounds like you've already talked to this particular mom, and now you're wondering where to go next?

3 bites in 4 months is not what I'd call a "go to" behavior. Are there other negative behaviors as well? I know with my biter, the biting was the straw that broke the camels back (it had returned after 8 months of no biting), but it was the constant tantrums, sassiness, hitting, pushing, and general crabiness constantly that built it up.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:49 AM
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It's the biting, kicking our dog twice, today was pinching me and then a friend. I have posted on him before and came up with a plan to hopefully improve things. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and that dcm doesn't seem to care about helping me. The straw for me was yesterday. He kicked the dog for no reason at all, and then bit a dcb who was sitting alone reading a book.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Jack Sprat View Post
It's the biting, kicking our dog twice, today was pinching me and then a friend. I have posted on him before and came up with a plan to hopefully improve things. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and that dcm doesn't seem to care about helping me. The straw for me was yesterday. He kicked the dog for no reason at all, and then bit a dcb who was sitting alone reading a book.
yeah...BYE BYE KIDDO!

Sorry Jack . I know first hand how hard it is to term anyone, but it sounds like you've given it your all.

It's been a whole lot more peaceful here this week for me! My little "jaws" last day was last Friday.
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Old 05-09-2014, 10:55 AM
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If you feel like you want to add something to your handbook about aggressive behavior, I'd keep it simple, like you reserve the right to terminate a child for aggressive behavior. I wouldn't get so specific about he dog kicking, biting, etc.

You can type up an action plan for any future biting, though. Then, if (let's hope never) it happens, you can pull it out and give it to all parents, with a "well, we've had a biting incident here today, and this is how it's handled here"
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Old 05-09-2014, 12:26 PM
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Okay..my plan is to say something like

"We really need to get serious about dcb aggressive behavior. If he bites again I will call you and you or someone else will need to come and get him. If it happens again after that I won't be able to provide care for him."

I feel that dcm feels she is being attacked. Today, I sent her a reminder text about the parent pay portion of her fees. She asked if this was because he was being bad. I felt bad, that she thought that! Well, we got that part straightened out...now I feel I need to lay it on the line and maybe it will help her get more serious about his behavior. He does similar things to her at home. And has had the same problems at other daycares.
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Old 05-09-2014, 01:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Jack Sprat View Post
Okay..my plan is to say something like

"We really need to get serious about dcb aggressive behavior. If he bites again I will call you and you or someone else will need to come and get him. If it happens again after that I won't be able to provide care for him."

I feel that dcm feels she is being attacked. Today, I sent her a reminder text about the parent pay portion of her fees. She asked if this was because he was being bad. I felt bad, that she thought that! Well, we got that part straightened out...now I feel I need to lay it on the line and maybe it will help her get more serious about his behavior. He does similar things to her at home. And has had the same problems at other daycares.
Sounds SO familiar!

She probably feels helpless, but it's HER child, not yours.

Basically, she needs to hear that it's nothing personal, but that you have to weigh the needs of ALL the children in the group, not just her little man. That's just the way it is.

Some things she can do to help:

Make sure NO one is playing any kind of rough games with him. No play wrestling, etc. What seems like harmless fun at home or with the neighbor kids will "feed" this kids aggression. He needs protection from that until he's old enough to know the difference.

The same with any kind of violence on TV or video games. No Disney Movies or anything with "bad guys", nothing but roses-and-sunshine. He is not to be in the room when adult shows are on, he is not to witness people playing violent video games.

I have NO idea if any of this is happening. What I do know is that some kids can filter those things, and others can't. He sounds like one who can't. Iv'e seen both. My own boys were fine watching Power Rangers, but some of their friends couldn't handle that sort of thing at all.

Also...does he get enough sleep?
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Old 05-09-2014, 02:23 PM
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this is my policy.... BEHAVIOR: Let's face it – kids can get crabby, noisy, messy & obnoxious! With that understanding, my policy is that as long as a child’s presence remains a generally positive experience for himself as well as everyone else, he may remain in Care.
* My basic ground rules are: no hitting, throwing, running in the house or climbing or jumping on the furniture. I do not tolerate cursing, fighting, biting, pinching or attitudes *ADD ANIMAL KICKING HERE**. All children will be expected to follow directions; be compassionate & considerate of others; practice their company manners by saying please, thank you, & excuse me; and to pick up after themselves according to their age & development.
* Biting is a very annoying part of toddler discovery, but it IS “normal” to a degree. Biting generally comes from teething and/or frustration, and children who bite need to be taught other avenues of relief or expression, but we also need to be mindful that no parent likes their child to be another’s “lunch”. So for the comfort, well-being & safety of the other children, I will work with a new biter but not chronic offenders, and mean-spirited biting is cause for immediate termination.
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Old 05-12-2014, 06:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
Sounds SO familiar!

She probably feels helpless, but it's HER child, not yours.

Basically, she needs to hear that it's nothing personal, but that you have to weigh the needs of ALL the children in the group, not just her little man. That's just the way it is.

Some things she can do to help:

Make sure NO one is playing any kind of rough games with him. No play wrestling, etc. What seems like harmless fun at home or with the neighbor kids will "feed" this kids aggression. He needs protection from that until he's old enough to know the difference.

The same with any kind of violence on TV or video games. No Disney Movies or anything with "bad guys", nothing but roses-and-sunshine. He is not to be in the room when adult shows are on, he is not to witness people playing violent video games.

I have NO idea if any of this is happening. What I do know is that some kids can filter those things, and others can't. He sounds like one who can't. Iv'e seen both. My own boys were fine watching Power Rangers, but some of their friends couldn't handle that sort of thing at all.

Also...does he get enough sleep?
At home I believe there is exposure to violent cartoons, video games etc. I see it when he comes and watch him play. Here we watch John Deere videos and Veggie Tales, and National Geographic. I don't think he is getting enough sleep. He is usually very tired when he arrives in the morning and sleeps for two hours at nap. Friday pick up was not good. He ran to the back of our house which is not daycare area. He knows this, mom knows and did nothing. I called for him then told mom she had to get him as I had other kids to watch. Finally, she went to backyard and picked him up.
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