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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parents Not at Work - VENT
Unregistered 06:14 PM 02-25-2016
Does it drive anyone else crazy when parents drop their kids off even if they're not working due to illness, errands, etc? I don't know why, but it makes me want to scream. Especially when the parents still drop the child off at the same time, and pick up later than normal. Ughhh! I can't be the only one, so this is where I thought I could vent! LOL
Thriftylady 06:43 PM 02-25-2016
I mostly don't care what they are doing. Sometimes I would like an easier day, but this is what I do. Now I do have two of my DCK's overnight tonight. They came at 7AM went to school, came back after school. Mom texted that two nurses in her nursing home called off so she had to stay until midnight and be back in at 6 am so could they stay overnight. These kiddos started as overnight kids last August when she was on nights. If I found out she was lying about being at work, I would be livid! Because I don't so such long hours of care for just any reason.
Now the picking up later is another issue. Do you have contracted hours? Do you have late fees? I do both. Also if it really bugs you, you can change your contract to be work hours only, but they could still just lie about it.
Now the picking up later is another issue. Do you have contracted hours? Do you have late fees? I do both. Also if it really bugs you, you can change your contract to be work hours only, but they could still just lie about it.
Blackcat31 06:50 PM 02-25-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Does it drive anyone else crazy when parents drop their kids off even if they're not working due to illness, errands, etc? I don't know why, but it makes me want to scream. Especially when the parents still drop the child off at the same time, and pick up later than normal. Ughhh! I can't be the only one, so this is where I thought I could vent! LOL
Other threads on this topic:Does it drive anyone else crazy when parents drop their kids off even if they're not working due to illness, errands, etc? I don't know why, but it makes me want to scream. Especially when the parents still drop the child off at the same time, and pick up later than normal. Ughhh! I can't be the only one, so this is where I thought I could vent! LOL
https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...orking+parents
NightOwl 12:53 AM 02-26-2016
It drives me nuts too, but you'll find very mixed opinions on it here. I hope that I'll get to the point one day where I feel like thrifty and just not care what they do with their time. It upsets me mostly because I feel like they should be spending their leisure time with their children. But they are paying for my services so I keep it to myself and grump about it here. 
MissAnn 04:14 AM 02-26-2016
I have almost all teachers kids. Drives me nuts that their kids are in my care longer than my non teacher kids. Some are truly working while others shop, go home or even go exercise. One keeps her child here 9.5 hrs a day and all through every break. I'm thinking about making a teachers contract which would include shorter hours and no care during breaks.....for a lesser fee.
Thriftylady 04:55 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by NightOwl:
It drives me nuts too, but you'll find very mixed opinions on it here. I hope that I'll get to the point one day where I feel like thrifty and just not care what they do with their time. It upsets me mostly because I feel like they should be spending their leisure time with their children. But they are paying for my services so I keep it to myself and grump about it here.
I am lucky right now that most of my families do keep their kids when they are home. But I guess I just have chosen to suck it up and decide they are paying me so I can't care. I am not perfect, sometimes I think about it. But I have just decided it goes with the job I guess.It drives me nuts too, but you'll find very mixed opinions on it here. I hope that I'll get to the point one day where I feel like thrifty and just not care what they do with their time. It upsets me mostly because I feel like they should be spending their leisure time with their children. But they are paying for my services so I keep it to myself and grump about it here.
LindseyA 05:29 AM 02-26-2016
This has bugged me in the past (especially when it a was a neighbor's child, and I could clearly see when the parents got home and hours later they came waltzing in to pick up.) But now, I feel differently. It helps that I no longer watch any neighbors children at the moment and it's not right in my face. I am also needing as much income as I can get right now, so couldn't care less about what parents do, as long as I am getting paid. Picking up late? Sure! Just bring me my money when you pick up your kid! 
Mad_Pistachio 06:28 AM 02-26-2016
*facepalm*
looks like the topic is being raised anew every week or two...
I don't work at all, my child goes to daycare. sue me
looks like the topic is being raised anew every week or two...
I don't work at all, my child goes to daycare. sue me
Unregistered 06:43 AM 02-26-2016
I take care of the neighbor kids. The parents get home and fart around for 90 minutes before they get the kids. Every single day. And they're my LAST pickup at 5pm.
I agreed on 5pm before I realized that they would be home at 3:30 everyday. Now I can't really go back because they "pay for the time" and I don't give a discount for less hours. They pay $45 whether kids are here 2 hours or 10 hours.
But still, it drives me bonkers knowing I could be done at 3:30 but work until 5 everyday so those parents can sit around eating twinkies without the annoyance of children
I agreed on 5pm before I realized that they would be home at 3:30 everyday. Now I can't really go back because they "pay for the time" and I don't give a discount for less hours. They pay $45 whether kids are here 2 hours or 10 hours.
But still, it drives me bonkers knowing I could be done at 3:30 but work until 5 everyday so those parents can sit around eating twinkies without the annoyance of children
Blackcat31 06:43 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
*facepalm*
looks like the topic is being raised anew every week or two...
I don't work at all, my child goes to daycare. sue me
...because that automatically makes you a bad mother. *facepalm*
looks like the topic is being raised anew every week or two...
I don't work at all, my child goes to daycare. sue me
(just in case.....I AM being facetious)
Mad_Pistachio 06:46 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
...because that automatically makes you a bad mother.
I know, I know, I'm horrible, terrible, no good, very bad, mean parent. (anything new?) ...because that automatically makes you a bad mother.
I think I should stop re-reading French Kids Don't Throw Food. what are we, in Paris?!
Thriftylady 07:06 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
I know, I know, I'm horrible, terrible, no good, very bad, mean parent. (anything new?)
I think I should stop re-reading French Kids Don't Throw Food. what are we, in Paris?!
But you ARE going to school, which is kind of the same as working. The pay just goes the opposite way. And the pay thing is sad because I would so go to school for a job if only someone would pay me.I know, I know, I'm horrible, terrible, no good, very bad, mean parent. (anything new?)
I think I should stop re-reading French Kids Don't Throw Food. what are we, in Paris?!
Mad_Pistachio 07:13 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
But you ARE going to school, which is kind of the same as working. The pay just goes the opposite way. And the pay thing is sad because I would so go to school for a job if only someone would pay me.
but I study online, hence, I stay home all day. according to the "if you're home, keep your kid home" logic, I should not send her to daycare. cause I'm home. all. day. every. day. I mean, anyone can write a few 3-5 page papers in APA format with a 3-year-old tugging at them, right? easy peasy, no? don't even need to get out of your PJ's for that (which is what I'm wearing right now).But you ARE going to school, which is kind of the same as working. The pay just goes the opposite way. And the pay thing is sad because I would so go to school for a job if only someone would pay me.
I'm a privileged kid: my Mom pays for college (tuition + books), and she bought me this computer I can use for it. if it wasn't for her, I would never go back to school. ever.
yes, hi, my name is M_P, I'm 35 years old, and my mommy still pays for my school. truth of life, what can I do...
Kimskiddos 07:13 AM 02-26-2016
I understand how you feel. It is frustrating when we see parents that don't want to spend time with their kids. Especially the high maintenance type kiddo, that would benefit with more family time. I think many of us got into this business because we wanted to spend time with our children and it just doesn't compute that others don't feel the same.
With that being said, you are only going to drive yourself crazy worrying about what dcp's are doing with their time. They paid for the time and are going to use it. Try, learn or pretend it doesn't bother you and keep on doing your best. The kid is likely better off with you, a person that wants to be with kiddos than an indifferent parent.
I do understand the way you are feeling but after 28 years in the business it is something you will just have to let go. Or if you can't, change your contract to care for kids only during parents working hours (Contracted hours).
Sorry that the last few post come off as making fun of your feelings. You are not alone in the way you feel. Vent away just don't expect to truly change the ones that don't want to spend time with or feel the need to get their moneys worth.
With that being said, you are only going to drive yourself crazy worrying about what dcp's are doing with their time. They paid for the time and are going to use it. Try, learn or pretend it doesn't bother you and keep on doing your best. The kid is likely better off with you, a person that wants to be with kiddos than an indifferent parent.
I do understand the way you are feeling but after 28 years in the business it is something you will just have to let go. Or if you can't, change your contract to care for kids only during parents working hours (Contracted hours).
Sorry that the last few post come off as making fun of your feelings. You are not alone in the way you feel. Vent away just don't expect to truly change the ones that don't want to spend time with or feel the need to get their moneys worth.
Miss A 07:15 AM 02-26-2016
Does it bother me? Not really. I need their kids here to be paid. Granted, I am.paid a flat rate per week, I still need their kids to make a living.
What does bother me is when a parent informs me that they will be here early at X time, then text me from X time to regular pick up with reasons that they can not be here until regular puck up. If the parent wants an afternoon off, they can have it, but do not make promises to your child and myself to be here early and then not follow through. Just go about your business and don't mention your time off. Kids so look forward to an early pick up, it is such a special treat for them.
What does bother me is when a parent informs me that they will be here early at X time, then text me from X time to regular pick up with reasons that they can not be here until regular puck up. If the parent wants an afternoon off, they can have it, but do not make promises to your child and myself to be here early and then not follow through. Just go about your business and don't mention your time off. Kids so look forward to an early pick up, it is such a special treat for them.
Rockgirl 07:25 AM 02-26-2016
I stopped worrying about this a long time ago. I am much happier for it! Follow my policies, pay me, and you are good.
Lovisa 08:25 AM 02-26-2016
If I am getting paid, and if rules re: drop off and pick up times, etc are being followed, I could not care less! Drop your kid off and sleep the whole day for all I care lol!
MunchkinWrangler 08:36 AM 02-26-2016
I used to care until I realized that I was WASTING my ENERGY.
This topic is getting old.
This topic is getting old.
Blackcat31 08:43 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Kimskiddos:
I understand how you feel. It is frustrating when we see parents that don't want to spend time with their kids. Especially the high maintenance type kiddo, that would benefit with more family time. I think many of us got into this business because we wanted to spend time with our children and it just doesn't compute that others don't feel the same.
With that being said, you are only going to drive yourself crazy worrying about what dcp's are doing with their time. They paid for the time and are going to use it. Try, learn or pretend it doesn't bother you and keep on doing your best. The kid is likely better off with you, a person that wants to be with kiddos than an indifferent parent.
I do understand the way you are feeling but after 28 years in the business it is something you will just have to let go. Or if you can't, change your contract to care for kids only during parents working hours (Contracted hours).
Sorry that the last few post come off as making fun of your feelings. You are not alone in the way you feel. Vent away just don't expect to truly change the ones that don't want to spend time with or feel the need to get their moneys worth.
Since my post is one of the "last few" I just want to clarify, I am not making fun of the OP's feelings. I understand how you feel. It is frustrating when we see parents that don't want to spend time with their kids. Especially the high maintenance type kiddo, that would benefit with more family time. I think many of us got into this business because we wanted to spend time with our children and it just doesn't compute that others don't feel the same.
With that being said, you are only going to drive yourself crazy worrying about what dcp's are doing with their time. They paid for the time and are going to use it. Try, learn or pretend it doesn't bother you and keep on doing your best. The kid is likely better off with you, a person that wants to be with kiddos than an indifferent parent.
I do understand the way you are feeling but after 28 years in the business it is something you will just have to let go. Or if you can't, change your contract to care for kids only during parents working hours (Contracted hours).
Sorry that the last few post come off as making fun of your feelings. You are not alone in the way you feel. Vent away just don't expect to truly change the ones that don't want to spend time with or feel the need to get their moneys worth.
I making light of the fact that child care providers are in the service industry and complaining about providing services.
IMHO, that's like McDonald's complaining about having to make hamburgers.
As a business owner its YOUR responsibility to set up rules and guidelines that you are happy with. If you don't like getting paid when parents are at home and not parenting according to your code of parenting ethics then don't participate in it and take kids ONLY from parents working.
How you enforce that...I don't know but if it bothers a provider then she needs to figure out a way to address that. Trusting parents, contracted hours, limiting hours of attendance, etc etc....
I don't know the "right" answer for each individual but I do know that as a self-employed business owner I have the power to make myself happy.
NightOwl 08:53 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
but I study online, hence, I stay home all day. according to the "if you're home, keep your kid home" logic, I should not send her to daycare. cause I'm home. all. day. every. day. I mean, anyone can write a few 3-5 page papers in APA format with a 3-year-old tugging at them, right? easy peasy, no? don't even need to get out of your PJ's for that (which is what I'm wearing right now).
I'm a privileged kid: my Mom pays for college (tuition + books), and she bought me this computer I can use for it. if it wasn't for her, I would never go back to school. ever.
yes, hi, my name is M_P, I'm 35 years old, and my mommy still pays for my school. truth of life, what can I do...
I would consider this a full time obligation and wouldn't blink an eye for you to bring your child to me every day. I once had a therapist's child in care and the mom had a home office. Same difference.but I study online, hence, I stay home all day. according to the "if you're home, keep your kid home" logic, I should not send her to daycare. cause I'm home. all. day. every. day. I mean, anyone can write a few 3-5 page papers in APA format with a 3-year-old tugging at them, right? easy peasy, no? don't even need to get out of your PJ's for that (which is what I'm wearing right now).
I'm a privileged kid: my Mom pays for college (tuition + books), and she bought me this computer I can use for it. if it wasn't for her, I would never go back to school. ever.
yes, hi, my name is M_P, I'm 35 years old, and my mommy still pays for my school. truth of life, what can I do...
Thriftylady 09:01 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by NightOwl:
I would consider this a full time obligation and wouldn't blink an eye for you to bring your child to me every day. I once had a therapist's child in care and the mom had a home office. Same difference.
Exactly, working or going to school or whatever other obligation that a parent has committed to. Saying that doing it from home makes it less valuable or important just isn't so! I work from home, but trust me I am still working! Going to school from home is still going to school. You still need to devote attention to the work or school you are doing.I would consider this a full time obligation and wouldn't blink an eye for you to bring your child to me every day. I once had a therapist's child in care and the mom had a home office. Same difference.
thrivingchildcarecom 09:06 AM 02-26-2016
I'm in So. Cal and I guess we are just used to it. Some of the moms don't even work, but send their kids to child care. As long as the tuition's paid, I'm good.
I would say something, however, about the late pick ups. I actually have a standard note that I send out to everyone if I see late pick-ups becoming a problem. I'll share it with you. Just send me a PM with your email.
I would say something, however, about the late pick ups. I actually have a standard note that I send out to everyone if I see late pick-ups becoming a problem. I'll share it with you. Just send me a PM with your email.
Play Care 09:11 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
*facepalm*
looks like the topic is being raised anew every week or two...
I don't work at all, my child goes to daycare. sue me
I was going to say the same thing!*facepalm*
looks like the topic is being raised anew every week or two...
I don't work at all, my child goes to daycare. sue me
I feel like this was JUST raised last week. Can't remember if the poster was also unregistered or not though.
I suspect someone comes on to put that out there just to stir the pot.
Mad_Pistachio 09:38 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I feel like this was JUST raised last week. Can't remember if the poster was also unregistered or not though.
yes, it was.I feel like this was JUST raised last week. Can't remember if the poster was also unregistered or not though.
yes, OP was unregistered.
they really need to find new ways to troll...
Annalee 09:54 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Does it drive anyone else crazy when parents drop their kids off even if they're not working due to illness, errands, etc? I don't know why, but it makes me want to scream. Especially when the parents still drop the child off at the same time, and pick up later than normal. Ughhh! I can't be the only one, so this is where I thought I could vent! LOL
To curb my agitation with this, I now close all Holidays with pay and have began contracted hours based on work hours with my last 4 enrolled clients. It is within a provider's ability to control these issues. I have been in business for over 20 years but it is still trial/error sometimes. Fix the issue with your own policy/contract. Parenting today with irresponsible parents makes me insane. I have tried lately to fix my own issues of agitation. I have had some kids pull out and even termed some lately but I am to the point, follow my rules or LEAVE! I have struggled to get back my love and passion for this job and revamping some rules has helped some. Good luck! Does it drive anyone else crazy when parents drop their kids off even if they're not working due to illness, errands, etc? I don't know why, but it makes me want to scream. Especially when the parents still drop the child off at the same time, and pick up later than normal. Ughhh! I can't be the only one, so this is where I thought I could vent! LOL
Play Care 09:57 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
yes, it was.
yes, OP was unregistered.
they really need to find new ways to troll...
Right. I'm over trying to be a pawn in the "mommy wars" yes, it was.
yes, OP was unregistered.
they really need to find new ways to troll...
Annalee 10:10 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Since my post is one of the "last few" I just want to clarify, I am not making fun of the OP's feelings.
I making light of the fact that child care providers are in the service industry and complaining about providing services.
IMHO, that's like McDonald's complaining about having to make hamburgers.
As a business owner its YOUR responsibility to set up rules and guidelines that you are happy with. If you don't like getting paid when parents are at home and not parenting according to your code of parenting ethics then don't participate in it and take kids ONLY from parents working.
How you enforce that...I don't know but if it bothers a provider then she needs to figure out a way to address that. Trusting parents, contracted hours, limiting hours of attendance, etc etc....
I don't know the "right" answer for each individual but I do know that as a self-employed business owner I have the power to make myself happy.
Since my post is one of the "last few" I just want to clarify, I am not making fun of the OP's feelings.
I making light of the fact that child care providers are in the service industry and complaining about providing services.
IMHO, that's like McDonald's complaining about having to make hamburgers.
As a business owner its YOUR responsibility to set up rules and guidelines that you are happy with. If you don't like getting paid when parents are at home and not parenting according to your code of parenting ethics then don't participate in it and take kids ONLY from parents working.
How you enforce that...I don't know but if it bothers a provider then she needs to figure out a way to address that. Trusting parents, contracted hours, limiting hours of attendance, etc etc....
I don't know the "right" answer for each individual but I do know that as a self-employed business owner I have the power to make myself happy.
Good Advice! I have been to the point lately of either fixing my issues or quitting! I want the passion and love I HAD for my job back! I am working at making it better! - Lengthening my interview process to 3 - 5 visits before accepting has been great along with your infant expectations form you gave me. Thanks a bunch!
Mad_Pistachio 10:38 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Right. I'm over trying to be a pawn in the "mommy wars"
it's not "mommy wars."Right. I'm over trying to be a pawn in the "mommy wars"
it's the "us against them" thing. instead of working together for the good of the children, some choose to divide into 2 camps and fight. makes perfect sense...
Blackcat31 10:47 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
they really need to find new ways to troll...
In some ways I agree but really unregistered posters have valuable input and content to offer so as a moderator I would never disregard a post (even when it's a repeat topic) just because the poster doesn't have an attached user name. they really need to find new ways to troll...
I DO check out (to the best of my ability) the authentic-ness of unregistered posters but still there will always be pot stirrers. Some of the best/biggest have been members with familiarity.
Its also important to remember that just because we (regular members/readers) have visited certain topics before doesn't mean they are old to new readers.
We are all in different places in our journey so certain stopping points will always be re-visited.
This is one topic you will see come up over and over the longer you are a member.
If you ever want to take a trip down memory lane or track growth, go back and re-read threads and posts that are old or are in the archives and you can clearly see members change and grow as their experiences, perspectives and backbones develop.
auntymimi 10:56 AM 02-26-2016
The norm in our area for fcc is contracted hours, mostly because if the high eligibility of assistance clients (ccr&r only pays for hours while parents are working). The downside of this is that it's also the norm for us to only be paid for the days the child actually attends. So if mom is off, she will usually keep child home rather than pay for the day. If it's that important to her to have "me time" or whatever and I have a spot, sweet. I'm often "full" when parents of difficult children call for an unscheduled day. I have 99 other problems, though.
I have 99 other problems, though.
Mad_Pistachio 11:01 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
In some ways I agree but really unregistered posters have valuable input and content to offer so as a moderator I would never disregard a post (even when it's a repeat topic) just because the poster doesn't have an attached user name.
oh, I totally understand that. it's not like they come in and cuss everyone around, and you let the post through. it's not your fault that they are having a Groundhog Day, repeating the same thing weekly In some ways I agree but really unregistered posters have valuable input and content to offer so as a moderator I would never disregard a post (even when it's a repeat topic) just because the poster doesn't have an attached user name.
Originally Posted by :
If you ever want to take a trip down memory lane or track growth, go back and re-read threads and posts that are old or are in the archives and you can clearly see members change and grow as their experiences, perspectives and backbones develop.
no, thank you If you ever want to take a trip down memory lane or track growth, go back and re-read threads and posts that are old or are in the archives and you can clearly see members change and grow as their experiences, perspectives and backbones develop.
I've got yet another paper to write
Unregistered 11:21 AM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio:
but I study online, hence, I stay home all day. according to the "if you're home, keep your kid home" logic, I should not send her to daycare. cause I'm home. all. day. every. day. I mean, anyone can write a few 3-5 page papers in APA format with a 3-year-old tugging at them, right? easy peasy, no? don't even need to get out of your PJ's for that (which is what I'm wearing right now).
I'm a privileged kid: my Mom pays for college (tuition + books), and she bought me this computer I can use for it. if it wasn't for her, I would never go back to school. ever.
yes, hi, my name is M_P, I'm 35 years old, and my mommy still pays for my school. truth of life, what can I do...
This is so different than what everyone else is talking about though...I have dcp who work from home. It is the same thing...I know theyre not home all day doing nothing. You're doing school. IMO its the same thing. What is frustrating is the parents who work full time and see their children an hour before bedtime and 30 minutes in the am before daycare. Why are you bringing them here if you are off? Why not spend time with them? I had a mom ask me if I was open on presidents day, I told her I would keep her baby if she had to work but otherwise I was closed because no other families needed care. Turned out she wasn't working just wanted to nap. Sorry, can't help you. I have my own children to spend time with. but I study online, hence, I stay home all day. according to the "if you're home, keep your kid home" logic, I should not send her to daycare. cause I'm home. all. day. every. day. I mean, anyone can write a few 3-5 page papers in APA format with a 3-year-old tugging at them, right? easy peasy, no? don't even need to get out of your PJ's for that (which is what I'm wearing right now).
I'm a privileged kid: my Mom pays for college (tuition + books), and she bought me this computer I can use for it. if it wasn't for her, I would never go back to school. ever.
yes, hi, my name is M_P, I'm 35 years old, and my mommy still pays for my school. truth of life, what can I do...
On the other hand, I did send my child to preschool when he was 3 and I was not working. He desperately needed a structured environment and socialization. At the time, I did not know how to provide that so I paid someone to do it.
kitykids3 11:43 AM 02-26-2016
It used to bother me a lot. Nowadays it doesn't. If it is the only child here then yes it would, especially since the parents know I am sick and need any time I can get to rest extra. If I have other kids here, I don't care cuz I have to be up and working anyways. Plus if it's toddlers thru preschool then it usually is better because they play with each other. Also, I know that sometimes these kids are getting more experiences and better care while here rather than just being plopped in front of the tv at home. Not trying to be braggy, but just the truth. It's healthier if they are here doing things like dancing, learning, sensory, and on and on.
Unregistered 01:27 PM 02-26-2016
Wow! I haven't been on all day and just came to check the board and saw thus had so many replies! I would like to assure everyone I'm certainly not "trolling" or trying to start "mommy wars". I was also not directing this at anyone in particular so the defensiveness of mad pistachio is unnecessary. I just read posts on here because I am new and tryibg to figure out my way. I'm sure this is something that has been brought up several times, but I just went through it this week and thought I would vent about it...isn't that part of what this board is for??? Thank you to everyone that gave advice, definitely made me feel better, even just typing it out for people to hear me made me feel better! For those of you that ARE trying to start a problem about it I'll just leave it at, although i don't know you, I'll just be happy I had to deal with this problem with this parent, and not have to deal with you every day
For those of you that ARE trying to start a problem about it I'll just leave it at, although i don't know you, I'll just be happy I had to deal with this problem with this parent, and not have to deal with you every day
Thriftylady 02:16 PM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow! I haven't been on all day and just came to check the board and saw thus had so many replies! I would like to assure everyone I'm certainly not "trolling" or trying to start "mommy wars". I was also not directing this at anyone in particular so the defensiveness of mad pistachio is unnecessary. I just read posts on here because I am new and tryibg to figure out my way. I'm sure this is something that has been brought up several times, but I just went through it this week and thought I would vent about it...isn't that part of what this board is for??? Thank you to everyone that gave advice, definitely made me feel better, even just typing it out for people to hear me made me feel better! For those of you that ARE trying to start a problem about it I'll just leave it at, although i don't know you, I'll just be happy I had to deal with this problem with this parent, and not have to deal with you every day
I didn't see anyone in this thread trying to start any problems.Wow! I haven't been on all day and just came to check the board and saw thus had so many replies! I would like to assure everyone I'm certainly not "trolling" or trying to start "mommy wars". I was also not directing this at anyone in particular so the defensiveness of mad pistachio is unnecessary. I just read posts on here because I am new and tryibg to figure out my way. I'm sure this is something that has been brought up several times, but I just went through it this week and thought I would vent about it...isn't that part of what this board is for??? Thank you to everyone that gave advice, definitely made me feel better, even just typing it out for people to hear me made me feel better!
For those of you that ARE trying to start a problem about it I'll just leave it at, although i don't know you, I'll just be happy I had to deal with this problem with this parent, and not have to deal with you every day And I am not sure that Mad Pistachio was being defensive. She was using smilies. Only she can answer that though. I think she was probably posting from experience of things people may have said to her. It is up to all of us as providers to figure out what we are okay with, and make our policies to reflect that. I guess I will ignore your comments since you haven't registered to stand behind them.
Unregistered 02:32 PM 02-26-2016
What I am noticing here is that no one seems to recognize (or at least comment on) the different needs that all families have. As Mad Pistachio says, she is doing school work so she uses childcare. Other families who are not working from home or taking online classes or doing some other specific work that is in considered 'acceptable' are considered bad parents, taking advantage, ignoring their children's needs, something worthy of venting about. Why is that? Why do you, as a provider and a parent, get to decide what is or is not an acceptable use of childcare? Should that mother who needed a nap have to explain she has clinical depression, just had a miscarriage and her brother was in a car accident at 2 a.m. and the hospital called and so on and so forth? Why? Why should a parent have to explain and let you, the provider, decide if she is properly excused from parenting today and will be given permission to use your services? And perhaps you're thinking, 'well, it's every day, and I know there is no good reason', then you are wrong. Whatever their reason for using care, it's good. If I want to buy a hamburger, don't expect me to ask permission, just sell me the g.d. burger!
SnowGirl 02:52 PM 02-26-2016
I am zen about it...like some others, I just don't let my mind wander to what the parents may be doing with their "freedom"...and do my end of the bargain as long as they do theirs.
When I had severe morning sickness last Fall, AND a cold (with minor symptoms...but still bad enough that it added to my misery), and a family dropped their son off so they could go home and nap (seriously, they told me that they were doing that)...I felt annoyed because they KNEW what I was going through. But, that doesn't change that they were paying me and I was choosing to stay open. So...eh.
That's the last time I let myself get annoyed about it. Takes too much mental energy anyway!
When I had severe morning sickness last Fall, AND a cold (with minor symptoms...but still bad enough that it added to my misery), and a family dropped their son off so they could go home and nap (seriously, they told me that they were doing that)...I felt annoyed because they KNEW what I was going through. But, that doesn't change that they were paying me and I was choosing to stay open. So...eh.
That's the last time I let myself get annoyed about it. Takes too much mental energy anyway!
Blackcat31 03:13 PM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What I am noticing here is that no one seems to recognize (or at least comment on) the different needs that all families have. As Mad Pistachio says, she is doing school work so she uses childcare. Other families who are not working from home or taking online classes or doing some other specific work that is in considered 'acceptable' are considered bad parents, taking advantage, ignoring their children's needs, something worthy of venting about. Why is that? Why do you, as a provider and a parent, get to decide what is or is not an acceptable use of childcare? Should that mother who needed a nap have to explain she has clinical depression, just had a miscarriage and her brother was in a car accident at 2 a.m. and the hospital called and so on and so forth? Why? Why should a parent have to explain and let you, the provider, decide if she is properly excused from parenting today and will be given permission to use your services? And perhaps you're thinking, 'well, it's every day, and I know there is no good reason', then you are wrong. Whatever their reason for using care, it's good. If I want to buy a hamburger, don't expect me to ask permission, just sell me the g.d. burger!
What I am noticing here is that no one seems to recognize (or at least comment on) the different needs that all families have. As Mad Pistachio says, she is doing school work so she uses childcare. Other families who are not working from home or taking online classes or doing some other specific work that is in considered 'acceptable' are considered bad parents, taking advantage, ignoring their children's needs, something worthy of venting about. Why is that? Why do you, as a provider and a parent, get to decide what is or is not an acceptable use of childcare? Should that mother who needed a nap have to explain she has clinical depression, just had a miscarriage and her brother was in a car accident at 2 a.m. and the hospital called and so on and so forth? Why? Why should a parent have to explain and let you, the provider, decide if she is properly excused from parenting today and will be given permission to use your services? And perhaps you're thinking, 'well, it's every day, and I know there is no good reason', then you are wrong. Whatever their reason for using care, it's good. If I want to buy a hamburger, don't expect me to ask permission, just sell me the g.d. burger!
I sell a service. Why parent use the service I sell makes NO difference to me. Their dollar spends just as easily as the parent using my services for work hours only.
Does it bother me if I think parents should do X but they do Y. Yeah, I'm sure it does but everyone's journey is different so what I "think" is irrelevant. Just pay on time, be respectful and follow the agreement you signed and it's all good.
NightOwl 03:18 PM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I didn't see anyone in this thread trying to start any problems. And I am not sure that Mad Pistachio was being defensive. She was using smilies. Only she can answer that though. I think she was probably posting from experience of things people may have said to her. It is up to all of us as providers to figure out what we are okay with, and make our policies to reflect that. I guess I will ignore your comments since you haven't registered to stand behind them.
:I didn't see anyone in this thread trying to start any problems.
And I am not sure that Mad Pistachio was being defensive. She was using smilies. Only she can answer that though. I think she was probably posting from experience of things people may have said to her. It is up to all of us as providers to figure out what we are okay with, and make our policies to reflect that. I guess I will ignore your comments since you haven't registered to stand behind them.:
childcaremom 03:31 PM 02-26-2016
It bothered me at one point in time.
Now I don't care. If I am open, I expect all my dcks here. As long as I can reach the dcps and the dcks are picked up on time, we're good.
That mindshift has helped enormously in my job satisfaction.
Now I don't care. If I am open, I expect all my dcks here. As long as I can reach the dcps and the dcks are picked up on time, we're good.
That mindshift has helped enormously in my job satisfaction.
Unregistered 04:13 PM 02-26-2016
OK this is just my opinion but I can see why some people would feel as though there was a defensive attitude going on. If that stemmed from previous posts and mad pistachio feeling ridiculed in the past I am sorry for her BUT this should be a lesson for everyone. We need to go into every new post with a clear slate. If not, we will all have a chip on our shoulder and how will new people feel welcome? I have a friend (not me I swear) who did start out on this forum "trolling" but then she became a dcp who uses the forum as a huge resource. I am not saying we should be waving flags and welcoming all the unregistered users but come on, lets be polite and informative. I have noticed some people on this forum are a bit arrogant, and it is irritating. On THIS post no one was judging you at all for being in school and sending your child to daycare. If you feel the need to make comments like "I'm a bad mom because I do such and such" you are just inviting a negative attitude. Give out what you would like to receive in return and you will be surprised at the response you get. As I said, I just think every new topic or post should be addressed as a new conversation. Many of the members may not have seen a post that an individual was judged, so starting new will really be beneficial. I also don't even see the need for certain comments in these posts to be made. The OP asked a question, answer it or don't, but my gosh don't be petty. Don't make irrelevant remarks. It makes you worse than the "trolls".
As for topics being brought up over and over, it is obviously because the issues are a big deal to some providers. If you don't like it then skip over the post. You can clearly see what the topic is, why even click if you're going to point out its old news? Don't get me wrong, when someone chimes in (like BC) and gives a list of previous threads I think its very helpful. But to offer nothing or be so condescending about a topic that is obviously really bothering someone is so rude. Just move along to the next post! It also really kind of sucks when you find a post that you comment on and someone responds with, you are resurrecting a 5 year old thread. SO what to do? Comment on old threads or start a new one? Some where though, these individuals feel the need to be heard or need advice. So if you can't help just exit and let someone else do it.
And about the comment about every family going through something different, yes you are right. We don't know what goes on in their every day life and they are not obligated to share with providers. In that specific scenario I brought up about the mom wanting me to be open on a day off, she asked me two weeks in advance when she happened to know I was already going to be closed. I think she was trying to guilt me into staying open for her. If she had a family situation going on or was depressed or whatever then I guess she needs to find some support...or a nanny. I offer what I offer and am upfront about it. It is not my responsibility to be here whenever they feel like they need me. I let my clients know this up front though, I have been taken advantage of too many times to count. Although I'll always try to see the good on people, I will not longer bend over backwards for my clients.
RANT OVER!
As for topics being brought up over and over, it is obviously because the issues are a big deal to some providers. If you don't like it then skip over the post. You can clearly see what the topic is, why even click if you're going to point out its old news? Don't get me wrong, when someone chimes in (like BC) and gives a list of previous threads I think its very helpful. But to offer nothing or be so condescending about a topic that is obviously really bothering someone is so rude. Just move along to the next post! It also really kind of sucks when you find a post that you comment on and someone responds with, you are resurrecting a 5 year old thread. SO what to do? Comment on old threads or start a new one? Some where though, these individuals feel the need to be heard or need advice. So if you can't help just exit and let someone else do it.
And about the comment about every family going through something different, yes you are right. We don't know what goes on in their every day life and they are not obligated to share with providers. In that specific scenario I brought up about the mom wanting me to be open on a day off, she asked me two weeks in advance when she happened to know I was already going to be closed. I think she was trying to guilt me into staying open for her. If she had a family situation going on or was depressed or whatever then I guess she needs to find some support...or a nanny. I offer what I offer and am upfront about it. It is not my responsibility to be here whenever they feel like they need me. I let my clients know this up front though, I have been taken advantage of too many times to count. Although I'll always try to see the good on people, I will not longer bend over backwards for my clients.
RANT OVER!
Unregistered 04:29 PM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
OK this is just my opinion but I can see why some people would feel as though there was a defensive attitude going on. If that stemmed from previous posts and mad pistachio feeling ridiculed in the past I am sorry for her BUT this should be a lesson for everyone. We need to go into every new post with a clear slate. If not, we will all have a chip on our shoulder and how will new people feel welcome? I have a friend (not me I swear) who did start out on this forum "trolling" but then she became a dcp who uses the forum as a huge resource. I am not saying we should be waving flags and welcoming all the unregistered users but come on, lets be polite and informative. I have noticed some people on this forum are a bit arrogant, and it is irritating. On THIS post no one was judging you at all for being in school and sending your child to daycare. If you feel the need to make comments like "I'm a bad mom because I do such and such" you are just inviting a negative attitude. Give out what you would like to receive in return and you will be surprised at the response you get. As I said, I just think every new topic or post should be addressed as a new conversation. Many of the members may not have seen a post that an individual was judged, so starting new will really be beneficial. I also don't even see the need for certain comments in these posts to be made. The OP asked a question, answer it or don't, but my gosh don't be petty. Don't make irrelevant remarks. It makes you worse than the "trolls".
As for topics being brought up over and over, it is obviously because the issues are a big deal to some providers. If you don't like it then skip over the post. You can clearly see what the topic is, why even click if you're going to point out its old news? Don't get me wrong, when someone chimes in (like BC) and gives a list of previous threads I think its very helpful. But to offer nothing or be so condescending about a topic that is obviously really bothering someone is so rude. Just move along to the next post! It also really kind of sucks when you find a post that you comment on and someone responds with, you are resurrecting a 5 year old thread. SO what to do? Comment on old threads or start a new one? Some where though, these individuals feel the need to be heard or need advice. So if you can't help just exit and let someone else do it.
And about the comment about every family going through something different, yes you are right. We don't know what goes on in their every day life and they are not obligated to share with providers. In that specific scenario I brought up about the mom wanting me to be open on a day off, she asked me two weeks in advance when she happened to know I was already going to be closed. I think she was trying to guilt me into staying open for her. If she had a family situation going on or was depressed or whatever then I guess she needs to find some support...or a nanny. I offer what I offer and am upfront about it. It is not my responsibility to be here whenever they feel like they need me. I let my clients know this up front though, I have been taken advantage of too many times to count. Although I'll always try to see the good on people, I will not longer bend over backwards for my clients.
RANT OVER!
Thank you! You said that so well! OK this is just my opinion but I can see why some people would feel as though there was a defensive attitude going on. If that stemmed from previous posts and mad pistachio feeling ridiculed in the past I am sorry for her BUT this should be a lesson for everyone. We need to go into every new post with a clear slate. If not, we will all have a chip on our shoulder and how will new people feel welcome? I have a friend (not me I swear) who did start out on this forum "trolling" but then she became a dcp who uses the forum as a huge resource. I am not saying we should be waving flags and welcoming all the unregistered users but come on, lets be polite and informative. I have noticed some people on this forum are a bit arrogant, and it is irritating. On THIS post no one was judging you at all for being in school and sending your child to daycare. If you feel the need to make comments like "I'm a bad mom because I do such and such" you are just inviting a negative attitude. Give out what you would like to receive in return and you will be surprised at the response you get. As I said, I just think every new topic or post should be addressed as a new conversation. Many of the members may not have seen a post that an individual was judged, so starting new will really be beneficial. I also don't even see the need for certain comments in these posts to be made. The OP asked a question, answer it or don't, but my gosh don't be petty. Don't make irrelevant remarks. It makes you worse than the "trolls".
As for topics being brought up over and over, it is obviously because the issues are a big deal to some providers. If you don't like it then skip over the post. You can clearly see what the topic is, why even click if you're going to point out its old news? Don't get me wrong, when someone chimes in (like BC) and gives a list of previous threads I think its very helpful. But to offer nothing or be so condescending about a topic that is obviously really bothering someone is so rude. Just move along to the next post! It also really kind of sucks when you find a post that you comment on and someone responds with, you are resurrecting a 5 year old thread. SO what to do? Comment on old threads or start a new one? Some where though, these individuals feel the need to be heard or need advice. So if you can't help just exit and let someone else do it.
And about the comment about every family going through something different, yes you are right. We don't know what goes on in their every day life and they are not obligated to share with providers. In that specific scenario I brought up about the mom wanting me to be open on a day off, she asked me two weeks in advance when she happened to know I was already going to be closed. I think she was trying to guilt me into staying open for her. If she had a family situation going on or was depressed or whatever then I guess she needs to find some support...or a nanny. I offer what I offer and am upfront about it. It is not my responsibility to be here whenever they feel like they need me. I let my clients know this up front though, I have been taken advantage of too many times to count. Although I'll always try to see the good on people, I will not longer bend over backwards for my clients.
RANT OVER!
Also, I would like to register and post under my own username because I do read these posts and find out a lot of useful information! Maybe I'm crazy, but it just makes me paranoid a parent would be on here and read something I may write "venting" and somehow find out it is me lol I kind of like the anonymity
Blackcat31 05:11 PM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Thank you! You said that so well!
Also, I would like to register and post under my own username because I do read these posts and find out a lot of useful information! Maybe I'm crazy, but it just makes me paranoid a parent would be on here and read something I may write "venting" and somehow find out it is me lol I kind of like the anonymity
We have an "Off-Topic-members only" area that is only accessible if you are a member if that helps. Thank you! You said that so well!
Also, I would like to register and post under my own username because I do read these posts and find out a lot of useful information! Maybe I'm crazy, but it just makes me paranoid a parent would be on here and read something I may write "venting" and somehow find out it is me lol I kind of like the anonymity
Also a parent can register just as easily as anyone else but its easy to vent without giving too many identifying details so parents wont automatically recognize you.
Personally, I just dont put anything in print I wont own.
No matter how secure I think something is.
If I want true privacy, I keep it between myself and the other party or I keep it to myself.
Thriftylady 05:36 PM 02-26-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What I am noticing here is that no one seems to recognize (or at least comment on) the different needs that all families have. As Mad Pistachio says, she is doing school work so she uses childcare. Other families who are not working from home or taking online classes or doing some other specific work that is in considered 'acceptable' are considered bad parents, taking advantage, ignoring their children's needs, something worthy of venting about. Why is that? Why do you, as a provider and a parent, get to decide what is or is not an acceptable use of childcare? Should that mother who needed a nap have to explain she has clinical depression, just had a miscarriage and her brother was in a car accident at 2 a.m. and the hospital called and so on and so forth? Why? Why should a parent have to explain and let you, the provider, decide if she is properly excused from parenting today and will be given permission to use your services? And perhaps you're thinking, 'well, it's every day, and I know there is no good reason', then you are wrong. Whatever their reason for using care, it's good. If I want to buy a hamburger, don't expect me to ask permission, just sell me the g.d. burger!
Since I am in the "I don't care" camp. I will say that I do prefer people be honest with me. If mom isn't going to work, I am fine with her saying "I just need a break". I get that I had young kids once also, and I never took breaks and I should have! I have since learned that my kids didn't need to be smothered by me, just mothered by me. This is why when my mom who is a nurse texted last night and said "I am stuck here until midnight and have to be on shift at 6AM, can the kids stay with you tonight?". I said sure. I had them at 7 AM in the morning and sent them to school and they left my house for school again today and came back as normal until mom came back. The key is, this mom doesn't abuse this. If she did it every week, or twice a week, or abused it in some other way, I would likely feel very differently. But she is hones and respectful and that makes me bend over backwards for people.What I am noticing here is that no one seems to recognize (or at least comment on) the different needs that all families have. As Mad Pistachio says, she is doing school work so she uses childcare. Other families who are not working from home or taking online classes or doing some other specific work that is in considered 'acceptable' are considered bad parents, taking advantage, ignoring their children's needs, something worthy of venting about. Why is that? Why do you, as a provider and a parent, get to decide what is or is not an acceptable use of childcare? Should that mother who needed a nap have to explain she has clinical depression, just had a miscarriage and her brother was in a car accident at 2 a.m. and the hospital called and so on and so forth? Why? Why should a parent have to explain and let you, the provider, decide if she is properly excused from parenting today and will be given permission to use your services? And perhaps you're thinking, 'well, it's every day, and I know there is no good reason', then you are wrong. Whatever their reason for using care, it's good. If I want to buy a hamburger, don't expect me to ask permission, just sell me the g.d. burger!
MunchkinWrangler 08:16 PM 02-26-2016
I am new to the forum but I have always searched out the topic I'm looking for advice on and if I feel the other threads aren't really answering my certain situation, then I post for advice. Not to be rude or callous but there is a venting thread. This topic always seems to get everyone rattled too. Just reading the abundance of advice on this particular subject has taught me to just cool it and do my job, take some days off, and don't waste precious energy on it.
I worked for a laid off mother all summer last year. She needed my care and she always paid me on time and in full. At first, yes, I was resentful. It was summer, I have my own son, but I also signed on this family, made a commitment and this was my job now. Yes, sometimes it still bothers me to know that dad gets home early and mom picks up at closing time most days but I have never had any problems with this family. They have always respected me and my policies. They have never paid late, gotten behind on payments or have had any other issues. This alone has made me understand that they are being good clients and theydeserve my best with the service I offer to them. They are more than respectful and wish me well when I have days off or things planned.
Ramble, ramble, ramble. If little things bother you what happens when the big things happen?
I worked for a laid off mother all summer last year. She needed my care and she always paid me on time and in full. At first, yes, I was resentful. It was summer, I have my own son, but I also signed on this family, made a commitment and this was my job now. Yes, sometimes it still bothers me to know that dad gets home early and mom picks up at closing time most days but I have never had any problems with this family. They have always respected me and my policies. They have never paid late, gotten behind on payments or have had any other issues. This alone has made me understand that they are being good clients and theydeserve my best with the service I offer to them. They are more than respectful and wish me well when I have days off or things planned.
Ramble, ramble, ramble. If little things bother you what happens when the big things happen?
MissAnn 08:50 PM 02-26-2016
For me it is irritating IF:
*the parent is not working and that child is picked up well past the others every day. Especially when the parent knows their child is upset...waiting for mom/dad to arrive.
*a teacher's kid comes every day during break and is the only child
*admittedly....if it's a parent who pays late, doesn't bring in items you ask for, complains ....etc.....the having kids here while they are off work can become the straw that broke the camel's back.
*admittedly...if it's a "good" client who pays on time, thanks you, and is considerate.....I will not vent.
Nothing wrong with venting here. Isn't that partially what this forum is for? We do to have to have the same opinion but we should be considerate of each other. Agree to disagree.
*the parent is not working and that child is picked up well past the others every day. Especially when the parent knows their child is upset...waiting for mom/dad to arrive.
*a teacher's kid comes every day during break and is the only child
*admittedly....if it's a parent who pays late, doesn't bring in items you ask for, complains ....etc.....the having kids here while they are off work can become the straw that broke the camel's back.
*admittedly...if it's a "good" client who pays on time, thanks you, and is considerate.....I will not vent.
Nothing wrong with venting here. Isn't that partially what this forum is for? We do to have to have the same opinion but we should be considerate of each other. Agree to disagree.
Ariana 07:50 AM 02-29-2016
I for one am not going to apologize for the fact that this drives me crazy too! I provide a service for working/going to school parents. Of course I do not begrudge a day off here and there or if the parent is home sick OF COURSE that is cool. I would not accept a child into daycare who had parents home all day. That is me, my opinion and my prerogative.
I also wouldn't manufacture a guitar for someone so they could set it on fire. Just because you get paid doesn't mean you don't have standards and values for yourself and the people you provide a service for. I don't respect people who value $$ over time with their children like teachers who keep their kids here over March break. I therefore closed for March break so I could spend time with my own kids and I lost that income. Whatever. She can do what she wants but I have zero respect for her. I don't lose sleep over it and I certainly don't waste my energy on it. I shrug, roll my eyes and go about my day but a part of me does feel sorry for that child.
I also wouldn't manufacture a guitar for someone so they could set it on fire. Just because you get paid doesn't mean you don't have standards and values for yourself and the people you provide a service for. I don't respect people who value $$ over time with their children like teachers who keep their kids here over March break. I therefore closed for March break so I could spend time with my own kids and I lost that income. Whatever. She can do what she wants but I have zero respect for her. I don't lose sleep over it and I certainly don't waste my energy on it. I shrug, roll my eyes and go about my day but a part of me does feel sorry for that child.
Jackie 08:02 AM 02-29-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I for one am not going to apologize for the fact that this drives me crazy too! I provide a service for working/going to school parents. Of course I do not begrudge a day off here and there or if the parent is home sick OF COURSE that is cool. I would not accept a child into daycare who had parents home all day. That is me, my opinion and my prerogative.
I also wouldn't manufacture a guitar for someone so they could set it on fire. Just because you get paid doesn't mean you don't have standards and values for yourself and the people you provide a service for. I don't respect people who value $$ over time with their children like teachers who keep their kids here over March break. I therefore closed for March break so I could spend time with my own kids and I lost that income. Whatever. She can do what she wants but I have zero respect for her. I don't lose sleep over it and I certainly don't waste my energy on it. I shrug, roll my eyes and go about my day but a part of me does feel sorry for that child.
But what gives you the right to define what parenting means for others? Most providers are in this business because they couldn't imagine being the type of parent that let someone else raise or care for their child all day every day so therefore they are probably not putting their children in daycares so in theory, you are already providing services for families that don't share your parenting values so do you not respect those clients? You mentioned a day here or there, do you share that concept with parents in your program? How many days is too many?I for one am not going to apologize for the fact that this drives me crazy too! I provide a service for working/going to school parents. Of course I do not begrudge a day off here and there or if the parent is home sick OF COURSE that is cool. I would not accept a child into daycare who had parents home all day. That is me, my opinion and my prerogative.
I also wouldn't manufacture a guitar for someone so they could set it on fire. Just because you get paid doesn't mean you don't have standards and values for yourself and the people you provide a service for. I don't respect people who value $$ over time with their children like teachers who keep their kids here over March break. I therefore closed for March break so I could spend time with my own kids and I lost that income. Whatever. She can do what she wants but I have zero respect for her. I don't lose sleep over it and I certainly don't waste my energy on it. I shrug, roll my eyes and go about my day but a part of me does feel sorry for that child.
NightOwl 08:05 AM 02-29-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I for one am not going to apologize for the fact that this drives me crazy too! I provide a service for working/going to school parents. Of course I do not begrudge a day off here and there or if the parent is home sick OF COURSE that is cool. I would not accept a child into daycare who had parents home all day. That is me, my opinion and my prerogative.
I also wouldn't manufacture a guitar for someone so they could set it on fire. Just because you get paid doesn't mean you don't have standards and values for yourself and the people you provide a service for. I don't respect people who value $$ over time with their children like teachers who keep their kids here over March break. I therefore closed for March break so I could spend time with my own kids and I lost that income. Whatever. She can do what she wants but I have zero respect for her. I don't lose sleep over it and I certainly don't waste my energy on it. I shrug, roll my eyes and go about my day but a part of me does feel sorry for that child.
Genuinely curious. You said you wouldn't accept a child into care if their parent was not working that day. What would you say to the parent who arrived to drop off and you knew they were just going home to chill? I may steal... I for one am not going to apologize for the fact that this drives me crazy too! I provide a service for working/going to school parents. Of course I do not begrudge a day off here and there or if the parent is home sick OF COURSE that is cool. I would not accept a child into daycare who had parents home all day. That is me, my opinion and my prerogative.
I also wouldn't manufacture a guitar for someone so they could set it on fire. Just because you get paid doesn't mean you don't have standards and values for yourself and the people you provide a service for. I don't respect people who value $$ over time with their children like teachers who keep their kids here over March break. I therefore closed for March break so I could spend time with my own kids and I lost that income. Whatever. She can do what she wants but I have zero respect for her. I don't lose sleep over it and I certainly don't waste my energy on it. I shrug, roll my eyes and go about my day but a part of me does feel sorry for that child.
MunchkinWrangler 08:09 AM 02-29-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I for one am not going to apologize for the fact that this drives me crazy too! I provide a service for working/going to school parents. Of course I do not begrudge a day off here and there or if the parent is home sick OF COURSE that is cool. I would not accept a child into daycare who had parents home all day. That is me, my opinion and my prerogative.
I also wouldn't manufacture a guitar for someone so they could set it on fire. Just because you get paid doesn't mean you don't have standards and values for yourself and the people you provide a service for. I don't respect people who value $$ over time with their children like teachers who keep their kids here over March break. I therefore closed for March break so I could spend time with my own kids and I lost that income. Whatever. She can do what she wants but I have zero respect for her. I don't lose sleep over it and I certainly don't waste my energy on it. I shrug, roll my eyes and go about my day but a part of me does feel sorry for that child.
The only caveat I have with this is honesty. I would rather a parent tell me the truth of what they're doing instead of lying to me about working and not. I would feel more resentful about the dishonestly then if they were sitting on the couch eating bon bons. I for one am not going to apologize for the fact that this drives me crazy too! I provide a service for working/going to school parents. Of course I do not begrudge a day off here and there or if the parent is home sick OF COURSE that is cool. I would not accept a child into daycare who had parents home all day. That is me, my opinion and my prerogative.
I also wouldn't manufacture a guitar for someone so they could set it on fire. Just because you get paid doesn't mean you don't have standards and values for yourself and the people you provide a service for. I don't respect people who value $$ over time with their children like teachers who keep their kids here over March break. I therefore closed for March break so I could spend time with my own kids and I lost that income. Whatever. She can do what she wants but I have zero respect for her. I don't lose sleep over it and I certainly don't waste my energy on it. I shrug, roll my eyes and go about my day but a part of me does feel sorry for that child.
Ariana 08:12 AM 02-29-2016
Originally Posted by Jackie:
But what gives you the right to define what parenting means for others? Most providers are in this business because they couldn't imagine being the type of parent that let someone else raise or care for their child all day every day so therefore they are probably not putting their children in daycares so in theory, you are already providing services for families that don't share your parenting values so do you not respect those clients? You mentioned a day here or there, do you share that concept with parents in your program? How many days is too many?
What gives me the right is that I can decide who I provide a service to. If you are home all day doing nothing and you want child care then my program is not right for you.But what gives you the right to define what parenting means for others? Most providers are in this business because they couldn't imagine being the type of parent that let someone else raise or care for their child all day every day so therefore they are probably not putting their children in daycares so in theory, you are already providing services for families that don't share your parenting values so do you not respect those clients? You mentioned a day here or there, do you share that concept with parents in your program? How many days is too many?
Yes I do share that with clients. I provide part-time care for children of stay at home moms or for parents who work opposite shifts but need someone to fill in the gaps. I cater to those clients. I don't provide full time care to people who do not work. That is really it. As I mentioned in my post I have no problem providing care for people who choose/need to work. I just don't agree with the value system someone has that brings their child to daycare and then goes home to do nothing barring all extenuating circumstances like sickness.
Jackie 08:36 AM 02-29-2016
Originally Posted by NightOwl:
Genuinely curious. You said you wouldn't accept a child into care if their parent was not working that day. What would you say to the parent who arrived to drop off and you knew they were just going home to chill? I may steal...
I am curious as to this too.Because of the situation the following provider posted. Genuinely curious. You said you wouldn't accept a child into care if their parent was not working that day. What would you say to the parent who arrived to drop off and you knew they were just going home to chill? I may steal...
Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler:
The only caveat I have with this is honesty. I would rather a parent tell me the truth of what they're doing instead of lying to me about working and not. I would feel more resentful about the dishonestly then if they were sitting on the couch eating bon bons.
The only caveat I have with this is honesty. I would rather a parent tell me the truth of what they're doing instead of lying to me about working and not. I would feel more resentful about the dishonestly then if they were sitting on the couch eating bon bons.
Ariana 09:33 AM 02-29-2016
Originally Posted by NightOwl:
Genuinely curious. You said you wouldn't accept a child into care if their parent was not working that day. What would you say to the parent who arrived to drop off and you knew they were just going home to chill? I may steal...
Usually parents don't tell me this and to be honest a day here or there for yourself is perfectly acceptable as I stated. I don't provide care for parents with that type of lifestyle where they are constantly taking "me time". However if this was constantly occurring after enrollment I would term. Most parents during the interview have no qualms with saying they like "me time" and although they aren't working full time they will have the kid here full time. I don't accept those people into my care.Genuinely curious. You said you wouldn't accept a child into care if their parent was not working that day. What would you say to the parent who arrived to drop off and you knew they were just going home to chill? I may steal...
I am fortunate in that the mom I was having this issue with after enrollment left so that grandma could take care of her child for free. Can't beat free childcare for the mom that does nothing.
And Jackie I don't define parenting for others. I define my business for me
NightOwl 12:03 PM 02-29-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Usually parents don't tell me this and to be honest a day here or there for yourself is perfectly acceptable as I stated. I don't provide care for parents with that type of lifestyle where they are constantly taking "me time". However if this was constantly occurring after enrollment I would term. Most parents during the interview have no qualms with saying they like "me time" and although they aren't working full time they will have the kid here full time. I don't accept those people into my care.
I am fortunate in that the mom I was having this issue with after enrollment left so that grandma could take care of her child for free. Can't beat free childcare for the mom that does nothing.
And Jackie I don't define parenting for others. I define my business for me
Excellent answer!Usually parents don't tell me this and to be honest a day here or there for yourself is perfectly acceptable as I stated. I don't provide care for parents with that type of lifestyle where they are constantly taking "me time". However if this was constantly occurring after enrollment I would term. Most parents during the interview have no qualms with saying they like "me time" and although they aren't working full time they will have the kid here full time. I don't accept those people into my care.
I am fortunate in that the mom I was having this issue with after enrollment left so that grandma could take care of her child for free. Can't beat free childcare for the mom that does nothing.
And Jackie I don't define parenting for others. I define my business for me