Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Infant Who Cries Unless Being Held
MommaB3 12:18 PM 02-17-2014
HELP!!! I have a 5 month old dcg who cries if she's not being held! There are times that she can play happily on the floor or in an exersaucer but then she cries until picked up again. Most of the time it is because she is tired but she will ONLY take naps if I hold her, so the longest nap during the day that she is getting is 20 minutes on average. I just don't have that kind of time to sit and hold one child and ignore the others.
I've tried letting her cry it out but she just won't give in and go to sleep. Of course I always check to make sure nothing else could be wrong with her.
Right now I am living in a VERY small rental house while we wait for our house to be done being built so I am very limited on space for her to sleep where she is away from other kids but I just don't know what else to do with her. I also watch my twin nephews who are 3 months old a few days a week and the days they are here...oh lordy! 3 infants and 4 older kids!
I hate to let her cry for long periods of time but there are times like when having to cook lunch that she will literally scream the entire time I cook, serve, cleanup, and get the other kids changed and laid down for nap. I just can't put off cooking lunch for all the other kids to tend to this one baby. I'm afraid one of the older kids will say something to their parent how I always let her cry.
She's been here since she was 2 months old and at first she was an awesome baby band she still can be but a lot of the time if she's not being held its a nightmare. She's here everyday 10.5 a day. It is really wearing on me.
Any suggestions???
I've tried letting her cry it out but she just won't give in and go to sleep. Of course I always check to make sure nothing else could be wrong with her.
Right now I am living in a VERY small rental house while we wait for our house to be done being built so I am very limited on space for her to sleep where she is away from other kids but I just don't know what else to do with her. I also watch my twin nephews who are 3 months old a few days a week and the days they are here...oh lordy! 3 infants and 4 older kids!
I hate to let her cry for long periods of time but there are times like when having to cook lunch that she will literally scream the entire time I cook, serve, cleanup, and get the other kids changed and laid down for nap. I just can't put off cooking lunch for all the other kids to tend to this one baby. I'm afraid one of the older kids will say something to their parent how I always let her cry.
She's been here since she was 2 months old and at first she was an awesome baby band she still can be but a lot of the time if she's not being held its a nightmare. She's here everyday 10.5 a day. It is really wearing on me.
Any suggestions???
Heidi 12:42 PM 02-17-2014
Yes...
Get a white noise machine, put her on a schedule, and start sleep training. Unless, that is, you are willing to STILL be doing the same thing when she's 9 months, 12 months, 15 months. Once she can sit up, then stand up, the battle will only get more difficult on both of you. Do it now, and stop feeling guilty about it. You provide (and parent pay for), GROUP care, not individual care.
Once she sleeps more, she will be generally more content and require less holding when she's awake.
Get a white noise machine, put her on a schedule, and start sleep training. Unless, that is, you are willing to STILL be doing the same thing when she's 9 months, 12 months, 15 months. Once she can sit up, then stand up, the battle will only get more difficult on both of you. Do it now, and stop feeling guilty about it. You provide (and parent pay for), GROUP care, not individual care.
Once she sleeps more, she will be generally more content and require less holding when she's awake.
cheerfuldom 01:41 PM 02-17-2014
It actually sounds like you might just have too much on your plate right now. Three children under 6 months plus four older ones in a small house? I can't imagine that that scenario is a good combination most of the time. If you cannot do some serious sleep training and CIO, then you will have to tell mom this is not working out. The environment you have right now is not a good fit for her and she is unhappy and crying most of the day. She likely needs/wants more attention, less activity from the older kids, and a setup that allows for a separate sleeping space with a caregiver that is willing to sleep train her. There is no way that I would hold a baby for naps or care for a 5 month old that is not taking any naps all day. 20 minutes is not a nap in any sense of the word. She is just crying herself into exhaustion and passing out for a brief period like a power nap, except she needs A LOT more than that.
ihop 02:50 PM 02-17-2014
I had that child too. It was tough but thanks to the ladies here, I started sleep training it. It took well over a month and when I would give in and pick him up we would have to start over. You must commit if you want it to work. The boy I had was being coslept at home and it was making it so much worse. She would try cry it out for a half hour then go pick him up and sleep with him. It was hell. Finally I went to her and told her we are a team and it has to improve because it was making everyone miserable. She threw her ha ds up and told me she didn't know what to do. I said if it didn't change she would have to find new care. And from then on he was a different child. Mom and I worked together and were supportive if the other got frustrated and about a month and a half later he was playing independently all day and is asleep within five minutes of being out down. Also he wakes after fourty minutes but if I just lay him back down he will easily sleep for an hour and a half at a time. He is always put in the crib tired but AWAKE. It will get better if you do the work. If not, just term and move on. It won't get better without sleep training. Period.
mbullette 08:54 AM 02-19-2014
I had that childs twin and he left a week ago. I couldnt handle it anymore and I think the parents were tired of getting told about his crying. He would be happy as can be in my arms but screamed the minute I put him down. He was their first child and I Know he was held a lot. I can say my home is much happier with him not here. I have no infants right now and its heaven!!