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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>So Upset And Mad!!!!
Country Kids 01:15 PM 10-17-2012
Why can't children behave when someone is here. It is someone who is here every single stinken day and they just act like they have no control.

A parent came 10 min early to pick up and child was finishing eating lunch. The other kids went balistic and this parent is looking at them, then at me, then back at them. I kept getting on to the kids but it just kept escalting. The parent even told the kids "if you aren't good, so in so can't come back." I totally didn't agree with this and let them know that it wasn't fair to say that but these kids where just out of control. I explained they are this way when the food lady, inspector, etc. are here but I could tell the parent didn't care-all they could see where ill behaved kids.

I was so EMBARRESSED!!!!! I hate that these kids act like this and I probably pretty much lost a child over their behavior. Every time though this parent comes in (its mainly this parent) these kids to act like this the more I think about it. They are usually in and out but needed to wait for child today.

When they left the parent looked at me and said "I in no way could do this job and have no way of disciplining."

I'm very upset by this and don't honestly know what to do. I love this job but this group I have is very trying. The parents are all so great but this group is very hard behavioral wise and I'm at a lose of what I can do anymore.
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cheerfuldom 01:32 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Why can't children behave when someone is here. It is someone who is here every single stinken day and they just act like they have no control.

A parent came 10 min early to pick up and child was finishing eating lunch. The other kids went balistic and this parent is looking at them, then at me, then back at them. I kept getting on to the kids but it just kept escalting. The parent even told the kids "if you aren't good, so in so can't come back." I totally didn't agree with this and let them know that it wasn't fair to say that but these kids where just out of control. I explained they are this way when the food lady, inspector, etc. are here but I could tell the parent didn't care-all they could see where ill behaved kids.

I was so EMBARRESSED!!!!! I hate that these kids act like this and I probably pretty much lost a child over their behavior. Every time though this parent comes in (its mainly this parent) these kids to act like this the more I think about it. They are usually in and out but needed to wait for child today.

When they left the parent looked at me and said "I in no way could do this job and have no way of disciplining."

I'm very upset by this and don't honestly know what to do. I love this job but this group I have is very trying. The parents are all so great but this group is very hard behavioral wise and I'm at a lose of what I can do anymore.
I am confused by what the parent said....did they mean THEY couldnt do this or was it more of a comment on how YOU were doing this?

do you feel that you need to scale back on the number of kids? or replace some trouble makers?

Its normal for kids to go ape crazy when someone new comes in. My own kids do this really bad and I try to have all the DC kids meet their parents at the door. but if it is like this all day every day, yeah something needs to change.
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Country Kids 01:39 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I am confused by what the parent said....did they mean THEY couldnt do this or was it more of a comment on how YOU were doing this?

do you feel that you need to scale back on the number of kids? or replace some trouble makers?

Its normal for kids to go ape crazy when someone new comes in. My own kids do this really bad and I try to have all the DC kids meet their parents at the door. but if it is like this all day every day, yeah something needs to change.
They mean't they couldn't do the job. Very strict parents (child is a dream child) and just couldn't believe how the kids just won't behave. This isn't the first time the kids have done this in front of the parent but it seems to be getting worse.

No, I can't scale down-only allowed 6 and there isn't one trouble maker-there are several. I would pretty much have to get rid of the majority and start over. The parents are dream parents and I love them to death, the kids are just very hard.
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NeedaVaca 02:23 PM 10-17-2012
When I'm ready for pick up time I used to always have all the kids sit on the couch and we would read stories and sing songs. This worked great UNTIL...a new little boy started. He would not stay on the couch, as soon as I was talking to the parent he was up and running. I tried many different things to keep him on the couch but nothing worked.

I now do things differently because like you I was soooo embarrassed! Now I have all the kids sit at the table in their booster seats that buckle. I still read, we sing songs, they can color etc. As each parent arrives I take the child to the door. It totally solved my problem
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Kimberli 02:23 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
No, I can't scale down-only allowed 6 and there isn't one trouble maker-there are several. I would pretty much have to get rid of the majority and start over. The parents are dream parents and I love them to death, the kids are just very hard.
I watch those same kids everyday and I feel your frustration!

Right now, my group is all boys ... and they are all really tough in their own ways. A lot of acting out and a lot of behavior issues to deal with and they all infect each other. Since I just got my hand slapped for even using time out to deal with unruly, over the top behavior, I feel like I am left with no options other than continually trying to keep them busy moving from one activity to another to circumvent the chaos. It's literally wearing me out and making me consider other money-making options at this point. I sometimes have to wonder if there really are kids out there that aren't 'tough' anymore. My own kids never acted like this - and my original crew of daycare kiddos didn't either.

Like you, I can't afford to term all my 'tough' kids, because that's about 4 out of the 5 I have and I am already struggling to fill one spot that just became vacant this past week. I get calls ... but all for infants (under 2) - unfortunately there are scads of preschools where I live and it is very difficult to get enrollments for 2 and over which would be the majority of the openings I would have.

No answers for you ... just hugs and support. I have so much empathy for your situation.
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Country Kids 02:27 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by brtracey:
When I'm ready for pick up time I used to always have all the kids sit on the couch and we would read stories and sing songs. This worked great UNTIL...a new little boy started. He would not stay on the couch, as soon as I was talking to the parent he was up and running. I tried many different things to keep him on the couch but nothing worked.

I now do things differently because like you I was soooo embarrassed! Now I have all the kids sit at the table in their booster seats that buckle. I still read, we sing songs, they can color etc. As each parent arrives I take the child to the door. It totally solved my problem
We were actually eating lunch so that should have solved the problem but no-I had 3 out of 6 get down without eating! They have been eating so great lately do but they were all messing around so much that lunch time got over and I had them get down.
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Unregistered 02:29 PM 10-17-2012
What exactly were they doing? I'm kind of confused.If you say they were sitting eating lunch what behavior was crazy? I've read alot of your other post and it sounds like these kids have no discipline.You need to get control of the kids and your daycare before people do start pulling their kids. I would have sat every one of the kids down and told them that their behavior wa unacceptable and explained why and how they are to behave when people come to your house.Tell them what will happen if they don't and follow through the next time.
From your previous post it sounds like it is a zoo at the daycare and you are going to lose your mind if you don't get it figured out soon. So sorry everyone acted like a fool!
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Country Kids 02:30 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Kimberli:
I watch those same kids everyday and I feel your frustration!

Right now, my group is all boys ... and they are all really tough in their own ways. A lot of acting out and a lot of behavior issues to deal with and they all infect each other. Since I just got my hand slapped for even using time out to deal with unruly, over the top behavior, I feel like I am left with no options other than continually trying to keep them busy moving from one activity to another to circumvent the chaos. It's literally wearing me out and making me consider other money-making options at this point. I sometimes have to wonder if there really are kids out there that aren't 'tough' anymore. My own kids never acted like this - and my original crew of daycare kiddos didn't either.

Like you, I can't afford to term all my 'tough' kids, because that's about 4 out of the 5 I have and I am already struggling to fill one spot that just became vacant this past week. I get calls ... but all for infants (under 2) - unfortunately there are scads of preschools where I live and it is very difficult to get enrollments for 2 and over which would be the majority of the openings I would have.

No answers for you ... just hugs and support. I have so much empathy for your situation.
Thank you! I to think there are hardly any "easy" kids left. I'm not so much going to blame everything on the parents but alot on the "system". Parents/school officials/etc. are just not allowed to discipline anymore and these kids are running amok.

In I have had a parent say "the only way I would do this job is if I could spank". They had started school to be a teacher and quit because of how horrible 95% of the kids were in each class they went in to observe-
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countrymom 02:42 PM 10-17-2012
I had a girl that cried everytime someone came to the house even thou she saw them 5 days a week, she would become hysterical. I know parents probably wondered why I didn't give her any attention, but thats what she wanted, she wanted to be the "CENTER OF ATTENTION"
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cheerfuldom 02:42 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Thank you! I to think there are hardly any "easy" kids left. I'm not so much going to blame everything on the parents but alot on the "system". Parents/school officials/etc. are just not allowed to discipline anymore and these kids are running amok.

In I have had a parent say "the only way I would do this job is if I could spank". They had started school to be a teacher and quit because of how horrible 95% of the kids were in each class they went in to observe-
this is pretty common! I changed my education major for the sole fact that I didnt want to work with students once I got an idea of what it would actually be. childcare is hard enough but babies are a breeze compared to wild preteens

so sorry you are having such a tough time. you are right, so many kids have so little structure, horrible diets and sleep habits, it all adds up and then daycare workers and teachers have to deal with it.
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Crystal 03:19 PM 10-17-2012
1st thing I would have done is bagged up the child's lunch and sent him home with it. I never entertain parents who show up during meal or snack time.

But, because the parent stayed and this began to occur, I feel you should have taken control and commanded respect from the children.

Here is what works for me when the kids start getting unruly....although it is rare, and I have different people....students, professors, etc here almost daily....I shout out One, Two, Three EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!!! That instantly grabs their attention, they stop dead in their tracks and all eyes focus on me.

Then I remind them that 1. my rules do not change when another adult is here. 2. If they do not sit down (in this instance because you were at the lunch table) and eat their meal, I am going to assume that they are not hungry and they will be done and be getting ready for nap. 3. The VERY FIRST time one of them act up, remove the plate, have them potty and put down for nap

They have to KNOW and FEEL that you will not tolerate it AT ALL. Trust me, I have children who are beyond wild and crazy for their parents but do not give me any flack whatsoever, and it is not because I am mean or bossy....actually quite the opposite....but they know I say what I mean and mean what I say. EVERY SINGLE TIME
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MissAnn 03:21 PM 10-17-2012
Don't be embarrassed! Last year I had a rough group and it was 4 boys who made it rough. I dread drop off and pick up times. At pick up times I made sure to go over the rules with the kids. I would say....if John's mom comes in who gets up? The kids would say...Just John. If we were eating snack, I would remind the kids again....if Sally's mom comes in, who gets up....Just Sally. I did everything in increments. Actually I still do this year and I don't have ANY hard kids! After snack the kids stand up and push in their chairs and I excuse them one at a time to head over to wash hands. If they run, they come back to show me a better way (walking). I stay with the kids as they go potty and wash hands. I sing with the kids waiting for their turn outside the bathroom. If I hear a parent come in I say......I will see who it is. I'd say...who gets up? The kids will say.....whoever's mom it is. OK! I stand where I can talk briefly to the mom but keep my eyes mainly on the kids. I nip things in the bud so they don't get out of hand. If a kid gets wild.....they are my "friend" meaning they need to stand with me. They do not want to be my "friend".

Also....if we are not going outside....I try to have the kids in a group versus spread all over the place. Circle time.....at the table drawing......something that keeps them herded and on task. If I'm doing circle time....I just smile at the parent and excuse the child. The parents will understand that you are busy and can't get up and talk right now.

I would never just excuse kids to go from spot 1 to spot 2 without it being step by step like this. I had a boy who had to be first in line no matter what.....that boy hurt other kids and I could not risk that. So...step by step and lots of reminding of rules. Lots of explaining why....(we don't want anyone to get hurt)....and also being able to say to a parent....I'm sorry, these kids are overexcited with having a visitor....I need to superivise them right now. Safety first!

I will also talk to the kids the next day about how I thougt things went the day before. I am totally honest with them ....how they acted and what I expect.

Good luck! Not sure if this helps but it did make things better for me last year....a year I would never want to repeat. I felt like a failure...like I had no control. Honestly, some years and super easy and other years super hard. It's not you.....it's the mix you have this year. Sometimes 1 wild kid can upset the whole balance. Do you have one child that is the ringleader in wild behavior? More than the rest? Do you ever have a day without him? If it makes a big difference....you might want to think about having a specialist come in and help you come up with a plan. You might want to do that any way! Another set of eyes (from a qualified person) can really give you a new way to look at your disciplinary practices. Someone from CCR&R came to my place and she said 4 words that changed the way I did things. A boy was wil playing with the blocks. She said....he's bored,he's done. She was so right! I didn't see it the way she did....but she was totally right. He was bored and acting out....he needed something else to do.
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Unregistered 03:29 PM 10-17-2012
Children do the same thing when you are on the phone. It's as if they sense a situation when you are unable to completely cut loose on them, or too busy to discipline them to the fullest extent of the law. I had this problem and it was very embarraassing, but I decided I needed to get serious about it and focus on it BIG time! I decided that the only way to fix the problem was to first address it. I wanted them to know exactly what I was talking about. I waited until they did it again and then immediately discplined them all afterwards when the parent left. The next step in my plan was to erase their idea that I could not lay down the law in front of a parent (I had always set up consequences like losing treasure box tickets etc.. during our first talking to) I made sure that whenevr they did this in front a parent. I excused myself from the conversation and layed down the law as I would had the parent not been standing there. Parents actually want to ssee discipline and firmness(not abuse). They want to know that there children will not become brats in your care. After I layed down the law, I went back to my conversation with the parent as usual. Never lost my cool. Then they got another BIG talking to after the parents left. The children who followed the rules were rewarded with treasure box tickets etc. I did this until they all knew exactly where I stood on the situation and their parents knew too. I also am not afrais to interrupt a phone call to completely lay down the law. I'd rather fix the sitution than be on the phone with a potential client while a wild circus of kids screams and yells in the background. i reward the good ones and lay down the law with others.
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Lilbutterflie 03:34 PM 10-17-2012
Don't be embarrassed! I really think the parent's comment that they could never do your job was meant as a sympathy comment and maybe even a compliment for you.

The best thing I can advise is to tell the parents to make drop offs and pickups as quick as possible. Have their child ready and waiting, and just say "goodbye!" Ask the parents if they are going to be early, to let you know in advance so you can still have the child ready. The quicker it is, the opportunity for misbehavior goes out the window.

And don't feel bad about disciplining for the misbehavior in front of the other parents. Tell the parent "Excuse me for a minute; I have to attend to a misbehaving child."
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Heidi 04:00 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
1st thing I would have done is bagged up the child's lunch and sent him home with it. I never entertain parents who show up during meal or snack time.

But, because the parent stayed and this began to occur, I feel you should have taken control and commanded respect from the children.

Here is what works for me when the kids start getting unruly....although it is rare, and I have different people....students, professors, etc here almost daily....I shout out One, Two, Three EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!!! That instantly grabs their attention, they stop dead in their tracks and all eyes focus on me.

Then I remind them that 1. my rules do not change when another adult is here. 2. If they do not sit down (in this instance because you were at the lunch table) and eat their meal, I am going to assume that they are not hungry and they will be done and be getting ready for nap. 3. The VERY FIRST time one of them act up, remove the plate, have them potty and put down for nap

They have to KNOW and FEEL that you will not tolerate it AT ALL. Trust me, I have children who are beyond wild and crazy for their parents but do not give me any flack whatsoever, and it is not because I am mean or bossy....actually quite the opposite....but they know I say what I mean and mean what I say. EVERY SINGLE TIME


I empathize totally with being uncomfortable disciplining in front of the parents, but you gotta do what you gotta do. OP...so sorry that you had a crappy day...but consider making it a "next time" moment. Next time this happens (parent, food program, etc), I will do this....

Maybe practice Crystal's 1-2-3 techique, etc. so the kids will GET it. When Miss CK does it...she means it, man!
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daycare 04:08 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
1st thing I would have done is bagged up the child's lunch and sent him home with it. I never entertain parents who show up during meal or snack time.

But, because the parent stayed and this began to occur, I feel you should have taken control and commanded respect from the children.

Here is what works for me when the kids start getting unruly....although it is rare, and I have different people....students, professors, etc here almost daily....I shout out One, Two, Three EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!!! That instantly grabs their attention, they stop dead in their tracks and all eyes focus on me.

Then I remind them that 1. my rules do not change when another adult is here. 2. If they do not sit down (in this instance because you were at the lunch table) and eat their meal, I am going to assume that they are not hungry and they will be done and be getting ready for nap. 3. The VERY FIRST time one of them act up, remove the plate, have them potty and put down for nap

They have to KNOW and FEEL that you will not tolerate it AT ALL. Trust me, I have children who are beyond wild and crazy for their parents but do not give me any flack whatsoever, and it is not because I am mean or bossy....actually quite the opposite....but they know I say what I mean and mean what I say. EVERY SINGLE TIME
I don't care who is here, i control my group at all times as if they were not here. I would have told this parent, sorry looks like they can't handle a guest, we need to get moving on. I would then have done exactly as Crystal stated..... I don't back down just becuase the parents or another adult is here. The kids know this and therefore, they don't change their behavior when others are around.

Sometimes I will even say. Johnny, do you want sally's mommy see you go to time out????? When I demand their attention for acting up, the parents can usually see that they are the cause of it and move on quickly.
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NeedaVaca 06:21 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
We were actually eating lunch so that should have solved the problem but no-I had 3 out of 6 get down without eating! They have been eating so great lately do but they were all messing around so much that lunch time got over and I had them get down.
I don't let me kids get up from lunch or snack when they feel like it. They all eat together and they all get up together and move on to the handwashing and next steps. If someone is done or not hungry they sit until everyone is finished. I just find it's so much easier to keep them together at all times!
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Country Kids 06:42 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by brtracey:
I don't let me kids get up from lunch or snack when they feel like it. They all eat together and they all get up together and move on to the handwashing and next steps. If someone is done or not hungry they sit until everyone is finished. I just find it's so much easier to keep them together at all times!
This is what I do and was attempting to do. One though decided to throw a tantrum on top of everything because they wanted down. Then the child kept running around when they were to be laying down. After all this, I still had one child that wouldn't nap and everytime someone came in they kept jumping up to see who it was.

I'm putting a letter out and letting parents know that if they show up during lunch their child will be getting up immediately and leaving. They will just have to forgo lunch.
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Unregistered 06:59 AM 10-18-2012
It doesn't sound like that was what you were doing.If one kid was screaming and one was running around and the other was not staying on their bed for nap then they weren't ALL sitting at the table together.It sounds like a zoo at your daycare!
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Country Kids 07:17 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It doesn't sound like that was what you were doing.If one kid was screaming and one was running around and the other was not staying on their bed for nap then they weren't ALL sitting at the table together.It sounds like a zoo at your daycare!
Funny if you read this and read it carefully you would see where I said "After all this" a child wouldn't nap. I had everyone else sleeping but one.

Also, the one throwing the tantrum was also the same one that decided to run around.

I also said that is what I do and was ATTEMPTING to do. Please do not call my childcare a zoo if you cannot read my post and quote it correctly.

Thank you-
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Unregistered 07:31 AM 10-18-2012
I've read all your post.You said the mom came early and was waiting for her child to finish lunch.So how could some children be napping,some running around,some throwing a fit because they wanted to get down.You said 3 of the 6 got down early because they weren't eating.So no,you weren't attempting to do that.As the previous poster mentioned.All children sit at the table until everyone is done,then everyone gets cleaned up,diapers,nap,everything at the same time.This will eliminate half of he problems right there.You can't have kids doing what ever they want whenever they want.Yes,it sounds like a zoo!
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Meeko 07:35 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
1st thing I would have done is bagged up the child's lunch and sent him home with it. I never entertain parents who show up during meal or snack time.

But, because the parent stayed and this began to occur, I feel you should have taken control and commanded respect from the children.

Here is what works for me when the kids start getting unruly....although it is rare, and I have different people....students, professors, etc here almost daily....I shout out One, Two, Three EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!!! That instantly grabs their attention, they stop dead in their tracks and all eyes focus on me.

Then I remind them that 1. my rules do not change when another adult is here. 2. If they do not sit down (in this instance because you were at the lunch table) and eat their meal, I am going to assume that they are not hungry and they will be done and be getting ready for nap. 3. The VERY FIRST time one of them act up, remove the plate, have them potty and put down for nap

They have to KNOW and FEEL that you will not tolerate it AT ALL. Trust me, I have children who are beyond wild and crazy for their parents but do not give me any flack whatsoever, and it is not because I am mean or bossy....actually quite the opposite....but they know I say what I mean and mean what I say. EVERY SINGLE TIME
This!

Don't feel shy at taking control...it's you job! If any parent has a problem with you keeping control, they need to look for another daycare.

I will send a child to sit on the couch if they try and run around when a parent comes to the door. I don't care if they cry about it. I have even done it to a child who's own parent is in the doorway.

My house. My rules.

I don't have a problem with telling a parent "You can't take John home right now. He isn't behaving the way he knows he needs to at my house." The parents are fine with it. They will tell their child to listen to me and stop misbehaving.

I have it in my handbook that I will discipline a child in front of their parent if needs be.

The trick is to have a set of rules set in stone for the kids. They learn quickly and when they know you will enforce them EVERY SINGLE TIME, they fall into line much easier. Someone will always have a bad day of course, but you won't get the whole group playing up if they know there are consequences.
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Crystal 07:57 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've read all your post.You said the mom came early and was waiting for her child to finish lunch.So how could some children be napping,some running around,some throwing a fit because they wanted to get down.You said 3 of the 6 got down early because they weren't eating.So no,you weren't attempting to do that.As the previous poster mentioned.All children sit at the table until everyone is done,then everyone gets cleaned up,diapers,nap,everything at the same time.This will eliminate half of he problems right there.You can't have kids doing what ever they want whenever they want.Yes,it sounds like a zoo!
hmmmm.....I don't make my children sit at the table when they are finished eating. I allow them to get down, wash up and play in the playroom or outside. They all behave VERY well.....in fact, I dare to say they behave better being allowed to leave the table when they are finished eating than they would be if I forced them to sit, bored, at the lunch table- THAT is when things take an ugly turn. My daycare is anything BUT a zoo.

You however, seem to be a jack@$$. You have alot of nerve to come here and judge her when she is trying to seek help resolving an issue that she clearly isn't happy about.
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daycare 07:59 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
hmmmm.....I don't make my children sit at the table when they are finished eating. I allow them to get down, wash up and play in the playroom or outside. They all behave VERY well.....in fact, I dare to say they behave better being allowed to leave the table when they are finished eating than they would be if I forced them to sit, bored, at the lunch table- THAT is when things take an ugly turn. My daycare is anything BUT a zoo.

You however, seem to be a jack@$$. You have alot of nerve to come here and judge her when she is trying to seek help resolving an issue that she clearly isn't happy about.
Crystal......youre in time out....lol
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Crystal 08:02 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
Crystal......youre in time out....lol
Sorry, but that really hit a nerve. Going to my corner now
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Country Kids 08:08 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Sorry, but that really hit a nerve. Going to my corner now
Thank you so much Chrystal! I was really holding back and thinking about numbering it per child how it went but decided not to.

You can come out of your corner!
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Oneluckymom 08:09 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It doesn't sound like that was what you were doing.If one kid was screaming and one was running around and the other was not staying on their bed for nap then they weren't ALL sitting at the table together.It sounds like a zoo at your daycare!
It sounds like a troll to me.

If you look back at their other comments, they sound like they're here to stir up trouble.

Back to the topic at hand, you can only do so much. If the kids are acting up (and they always will) you do your best and try implementing different techniques to find THE ONE that works. The kids love you and I am sure you will find the magic recipe to get them to behave. What works with one group doesn't always work with another...as you already know.

Good luck!
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Oneluckymom 08:10 AM 10-18-2012
OK CRYSTAL SAID WHAT I WANTED TO SAY.....BUT I WAS TOO NICE
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Blackcat31 08:19 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
It sounds like a troll to me.

If you look back at their other comments, they sound like they're here to stir up trouble.
There are two unregistered posters. They are not one and the same although the one who called CountryKids care a zoo has made more than one post.


I don't think her intent was to cause trouble (although her words could have been chosen more carefully). I could also be wrong about that but I try really hard to always see both sides.

She (unregistered) said she has read alot of CK's other posts and because of those, she made the comment about her environment being like a zoo. That part wasn't very constructive or helpful but she is entitled to her opinion, whether we like it or not.

I agree to some extent that the first couple posts made by CK were confusing as I too thought she first said that only half the kids were still sitting down and a couple had gotten up and then in a post farther down she says she makes them all sit at the table until they are ALL done which to me was saying two different things.

Going back now and re-reading, I am thinking she NORMALLY makes then all stay sitting down until done but this partiular time, she allowed a couple to leave the table so I was confused too at first.

Anyways, not saying the unregistered is helpful or nice, but she is certainly entitled to her opinion. If we, as members have issues with unregistered posters, I think the best thing to do is to reply in a "professional" manner or not reply at all.
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Meeko 08:21 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
hmmmm.....I don't make my children sit at the table when they are finished eating. I allow them to get down, wash up and play in the playroom or outside. They all behave VERY well.....in fact, I dare to say they behave better being allowed to leave the table when they are finished eating than they would be if I forced them to sit, bored, at the lunch table- THAT is when things take an ugly turn. My daycare is anything BUT a zoo.

You however, seem to be a jack@$$. You have alot of nerve to come here and judge her when she is trying to seek help resolving an issue that she clearly isn't happy about.

LOL! Go Crystal!
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Unregistered 08:24 AM 10-18-2012
Just stating the facts.When you let the children decide when and what they are going to do regarding meal time this is what you will get.I'm not sure how you can properly supervise all the children when some are at the table,some are playing,napping(outside according to another poster) Keep them all together and that would have solved that problem of the kids doing whatever they wanted to do. Yes kids act up when people come over.You wanted a solution-Keep them all at the table at the same time, when that mom came to pick up her kid early she would have seen six kids enjoying a nice lunch together,waiting for their friends to finish and then being excused all at the same time.Not the situation you described.
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Country Kids 08:36 AM 10-18-2012
Mods-is there a way to remove or not approve this posters posts. Its getting ridiculous and I'm tired of it.

Clearly the person is not even reading the posts but wanting to stir up trouble.
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Unregistered 08:48 AM 10-18-2012
I've read every post.Why is my opinion ridiculous? i offered some solid advice.Sorry,I just say it like it is.I don't sugar coat anything.As a matter of fact I'm sitting right here with 12 kids all eating their lunch nicely.When they are ALL done I will excuse one at a time into the playroom where my assistant will be.Then we proceed to the next thing,all at the same time,everyone doing the same thing.See how that makes the kids know what they're suppose to be doing.
That's my opinion! If it's not what you want to hear or doesn't help you then ignore it.
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Country Kids 09:52 AM 10-18-2012
OK, I'm going to clarify-

We always sit together while we eat!

Yesterday went like this:

Child 1=threw a fit/was allowed down/ran around instead of laying down
Child 2,3,4=didn't eat but were not allowed down (#2 child didn't nap during naptime and was getting up when people came in)
Child 5=Ate but was acting up
Child 6=Mom was here

Previous posts-I never said 3 out of 6 children got up early. I said 3 out of 6 didn't eat-totally different then getting up early.

What I'm really confused about is one of the "Guests" said a poster said they allowed children to nap outside-I still can't find that one. Someone said kids play outside but not nap. That is why I asked "Guests" to really, really read the posts before posting.

Enough said-moving on and hopefully everything resumes to normal (whatever that is-) today!
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Blackcat31 10:14 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
OK, I'm going to clarify-

Previous posts-I never said 3 out of 6 children got up early. I said 3 out of 6 didn't eat-totally different then getting up early.
You said:

"We were actually eating lunch so that should have solved the problem but no-I had 3 out of 6 get down without eating!"

Which I understood as getting down early while the others were still eating too.

I can see how it can be taken both ways. Sorry if I mis-interpreted your words but wanted to point out how it could happen that way for others too.
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My3cents 11:26 AM 10-18-2012
Crystal- I loved your first post, but then your 2nd post was like Wow. I don't know which post I liked better. It was nice to see you come a little unglued as we all do- Can we give a daily posting award out!

Unregistered- try to be a little nicer, input that helps another provider goes farther then comparing someones "issues at the moment" to a zoo.

I love my ZOO and yes we do reach Zoo level every so often-

I have littles and when someone comes in they always act up, or if I get on the telephone. I don't act any different then I normally do. I would like to think that but I am sure that when I am standing in front of another adult, the parent of the child, my demeanor is much nicer then the everyday way. (I am still nice everyday) I think it is natural for us to do that, no matter if daycare or another social setting. I don't want to step on the toes of the parent disciplining when I feel that the parent should step in and do that with their child while in my presence. It is hard, because all of are roles are out of normal sinc in these moments.

My kids are in high chairs and to avoid kaos for me, I take them one at a time, change them up and put them down for rest. I get rest cots,mats ready while they are eating and blankets and loveys. If they were older and had more control I would let them up and help them get settled in as they were done. When I have my after school kids during the day this is how I do it with them. I say do what works for you. Trial and error.

Thanks for the thursday get me through one more day posting-
Best to all-
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Crystal 11:34 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
There are two unregistered posters. They are not one and the same although the one who called CountryKids care a zoo has made more than one post.


I don't think her intent was to cause trouble (although her words could have been chosen more carefully). I could also be wrong about that but I try really hard to always see both sides.

She (unregistered) said she has read alot of CK's other posts and because of those, she made the comment about her environment being like a zoo. That part wasn't very constructive or helpful but she is entitled to her opinion, whether we like it or not.

I agree to some extent that the first couple posts made by CK were confusing as I too thought she first said that only half the kids were still sitting down and a couple had gotten up and then in a post farther down she says she makes them all sit at the table until they are ALL done which to me was saying two different things.

Going back now and re-reading, I am thinking she NORMALLY makes then all stay sitting down until done but this partiular time, she allowed a couple to leave the table so I was confused too at first.

Anyways, not saying the unregistered is helpful or nice, but she is certainly entitled to her opinion. If we, as members have issues with unregistered posters, I think the best thing to do is to reply in a "professional" manner or not reply at all.
Ya know BlackCat....I agree that unregistered users are entitled to their opinion (just as I am, and I shared) and quite often there are posts from unregistered users that are helpful, thoughtful and considerate. There have actually been many times I have defended unregistered users. However, this particular unregistered did not offer any constructive advice. She belittled CK, told her her daycare sounds like a zoo, and quite frankly posted for no reason other than to start c*r*a*p.

So, if an unregistered user comes here and posts pot stirring garbage, and is entitled to her opinion, then I am not going to NOT reply, I am going to call her out on it.

It is one thing to come and discuss, it's another completely to be MEAN.
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MissAnn 11:34 AM 10-18-2012
Wow...I really missed this! Too bad naptime is over and I can't read it all! Let's be honest....as good as we are, we all have those "moments".....every one of us. Our kids are not robots and neither are we. I am totally imperfect and so are my kids. This place is for support and not for tooting your own horn.....oh perfect one who is unregistered!

I adore imperfect people.....honest people....caring peope....and people who come in here to share and ask for support! bye now...gotta do the after nap routine!
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Crystal 11:35 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
Crystal- I loved your first post, but then your 2nd post was like Wow. I don't know which post I liked better. It was nice to see you come a little unglued as we all do- Can we give a daily posting award out!

Unregistered- try to be a little nicer, input that helps another provider goes farther then comparing someones "issues at the moment" to a zoo.

I love my ZOO and yes we do reach Zoo level every so often-

I have littles and when someone comes in they always act up, or if I get on the telephone. I don't act any different then I normally do. I would like to think that but I am sure that when I am standing in front of another adult, the parent of the child, my demeanor is much nicer then the everyday way. (I am still nice everyday) I think it is natural for us to do that, no matter if daycare or another social setting. I don't want to step on the toes of the parent disciplining when I feel that the parent should step in and do that with their child while in my presence. It is hard, because all of are roles are out of normal sinc in these moments.

My kids are in high chairs and to avoid kaos for me, I take them one at a time, change them up and put them down for rest. I get rest cots,mats ready while they are eating and blankets and loveys. If they were older and had more control I would let them up and help them get settled in as they were done. When I have my after school kids during the day this is how I do it with them. I say do what works for you. Trial and error.

Thanks for the thursday get me through one more day posting-
Best to all-
Awwww....I feel so honored. Thanks! LOL!
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Blackcat31 11:51 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Ya know BlackCat....I agree that unregistered users are entitled to their opinion (just as I am, and I shared) and quite often there are posts from unregistered users that are helpful, thoughtful and considerate. There have actually been many times I have defended unregistered users. However, this particular unregistered did not offer any constructive advice. She belittled CK, told her her daycare sounds like a zoo, and quite frankly posted for no reason other than to start c*r*a*p.

So, if an unregistered user comes here and posts pot stirring garbage, and is entitled to her opinion, then I am not going to NOT reply, I am going to call her out on it.

It is one thing to come and discuss, it's another completely to be MEAN.
I totally hear what you are saying but I didn't really read anything the poster said that was simply starting crap.

She said:

"What exactly were they doing? I'm kind of confused.If you say they were sitting eating lunch what behavior was crazy?"

Here she is asking for clarification. Nothing wrong with that.


"I've read alot of your other post and it sounds like these kids have no discipline.You need to get control of the kids and your daycare before people do start pulling their kids."


An opinion. Again, nothing wrong with that.


"I would have sat every one of the kids down and told them that their behavior was unacceptable and explained why and how they are to behave when people come to your house.Tell them what will happen if they don't and follow through the next time."

Here in these sentences, she offered up what she would do in the OP's situation. Which is exactly what we all do when replying to someone.

"From your previous post it sounds like it is a zoo at the daycare and you are going to lose your mind if you don't get it figured out soon. So sorry everyone acted like a fool!"

This was maybe not so nice but was her personal opinion about the way CK runs her business based on her previos posts. Like I said, maybe not the nicest thing to say but most definitely not worst and definitely not off target when the OP herself said "they just act like they have no control" and "kids went balistic" and "this group I have is very trying" and "this group is very hard behavioral wise".

Pretty much sounds like chaos to me. Or a zoo I guess to some people. I personally wouldn't have used that word but I see where she is coming from.

Then the very last thing the unregistered poster said was "So sorry everyone acted like a fool!" which to me was supportive and if not, atleast empathetic.

So no, I don't agree that the unregistered poster was simply looking to cause trouble and stir the pot. I also posted about I was personally confused as to what CK meant too.
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Crystal 11:51 AM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Just stating the facts.When you let the children decide when and what they are going to do regarding meal time this is what you will get.I'm not sure how you can properly supervise all the children when some are at the table,some are playing,napping(outside according to another poster) Keep them all together and that would have solved that problem of the kids doing whatever they wanted to do. Yes kids act up when people come over.You wanted a solution-Keep them all at the table at the same time, when that mom came to pick up her kid early she would have seen six kids enjoying a nice lunch together,waiting for their friends to finish and then being excused all at the same time.Not the situation you described.
If you are referring to me, I supervise my children just fine. All 14 of them. My children have been taught appropriate behavior and they know my expectations. I do not have to have my eyes on them every single second. I also have a full time assistant and at any given time have 1-2 student teachers working, so there is plenty of supervision. I have never had any major injuries, lost a kid or had any issues with them misbehaving when I RESPECTFULLY treat them as INDIVIDUALS by allowing them to control how much they eat (if they want to eat at all) and allowing them to move about freely when they are done instead of restriciting them to a chair where they are going to get bored and stir up trouble.

But, thanks for your educated opinion about how I must not be able to properly supervise.
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Crystal 12:18 PM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I totally hear what you are saying but I didn't really read anything the poster said that was simply starting crap.

She said:

"What exactly were they doing? I'm kind of confused.If you say they were sitting eating lunch what behavior was crazy?"

Here she is asking for clarification. Nothing wrong with that. Agreed, nothing wrong with that.


"I've read alot of your other post and it sounds like these kids have no discipline.You need to get control of the kids and your daycare before people do start pulling their kids."


An opinion. Again, nothing wrong with that.
I suppose nothing wrong with having an opinion, but it still implies that CK is not doing a good job with her children.

"I would have sat every one of the kids down and told them that their behavior was unacceptable and explained why and how they are to behave when people come to your house.Tell them what will happen if they don't and follow through the next time."

Here in these sentences, she offered up what she would do in the OP's situation. Which is exactly what we all do when replying to someone. true there....she did offer some advice, I suppose THAT was not trying to start crap....but the rest of the post....not so much

"From your previous post it sounds like it is a zoo at the daycare and you are going to lose your mind if you don't get it figured out soon. So sorry everyone acted like a fool!"

This was maybe not so nice but was her personal opinion about the way CK runs her business based on her previos posts. Like I said, maybe not the nicest thing to say but most definitely not worst and definitely not off target when the OP herself said "they just act like they have no control" and "kids went balistic" and "this group I have is very trying" and "this group is very hard behavioral wise". The problem here is that 1. she was insulting 2. she was not being supportive, at all. Yes, the OP said those things, BUT that doesn't mean that SHE doesn't provide discpline. It's the group, and likely caused by lack of discipline for all of them at home that spills over into daycare. You get 12 kids who all lack discipline from their parents and it creates a perfect storm of bad group behavior. That doesn't give the UNREGISTERED the right to imply that it is the OP's fault or that her place is a Zoo.

Pretty much sounds like chaos to me. Or a zoo I guess to some people. I personally wouldn't have used that word but I see where she is coming from.

Then the very last thing the unregistered poster said was "So sorry everyone acted like a fool!" which to me was supportive and if not, atleast empathetic.

So no, I don't agree that the unregistered poster was simply looking to cause trouble and stir the pot. I also posted about I was personally confused as to what CK meant too.
Again, as you said earlier, we are all entitled to our opinion. Out of respect for you,I have responded in blue above and I will leave it at that. I stated my opinion, and I am done. However, my opinion remains the same, but thanks for trying to sway me
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Blackcat31 12:35 PM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Again, as you said earlier, we are all entitled to our opinion. Out of respect for you,I have responded in blue above and I will leave it at that. I stated my opinion, and I am done. However, my opinion remains the same, but thanks for trying to sway me
I see BOTH sides.

Sometimes, that is a good thing and sometimes not so good.
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Country Kids 12:52 PM 10-18-2012
OK, OK it was the zoo part that offended me as I consider us more of a Jungle!-

I want our doorbell to ring "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses-
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Blackcat31 12:59 PM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
OK, OK it was the zoo part that offended me as I consider us more of a Jungle!-

I want our doorbell to ring "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses-
My web-site music is Ozzy Osbournes "Crazy Train"
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daycare 01:04 PM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
OK, OK it was the zoo part that offended me as I consider us more of a Jungle!-

I want our doorbell to ring "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses-
i love that song...

glad to see you take the humor out of this..... we know you and we know you run a great program. don't let some outsider get you down....
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quailsgarden 01:08 PM 10-22-2012
Booster seats that buckle work wonders. I had one child that always went crazy with people over and all the other children would follow. Just before someone would be coming over I would sit all the kids at the table for coloring, painting, puzzles ect. Solved the problem instantly!
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Michelle 01:50 PM 10-22-2012
Crystal, when you let the kids go outside or in the playroom after lunch, you have an assistant with them right?

I know the answer is "yes " and the reason why we do this in large daycares is because #1 the ones that are done eating will distract the other kids still eating,#2 shouldn't have to just sit there doing nothing when they can be doing other things with another teacher, and #3 it's none of anyones buisness how we do things anyways!
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MamaBearCanada 03:28 PM 10-22-2012
I feel for CK. Sometimes kids do get a 'pack' mentality and don't behave how they know they should. One kicks off then they all do. Personally I don't allow kids down from the table while we are eating. I feel it is bad manners and that they need to learn to wait for others. Eating as a group is a good way to learn social skills. It also teaches kids to eat nicely and not rush or throw a tantrum so that they can be excused. The world does not revolve around them or their schedule. If we are eating as a group we are excused together. (However, I wouldn't keep them waiting for a child with eating issues who is taking a long time. Im talking about waitin 5-10mins). It sounds like you are going to have to be right on each child and if one does get down without permission & starts to run around you could hold their hand until you are finished talking.

I think you have many wonderful things about your program and I'm sorry this group is so tough.
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Crystal 03:48 PM 10-22-2012
Originally Posted by Michelle:
Crystal, when you let the kids go outside or in the playroom after lunch, you have an assistant with them right?

I know the answer is "yes " and the reason why we do this in large daycares is because #1 the ones that are done eating will distract the other kids still eating,#2 shouldn't have to just sit there doing nothing when they can be doing other things with another teacher, and #3 it's none of anyones buisness how we do things anyways!
USUALLY I have someone with them. If I have 8 or less children here, I am often by myself. I STILL do things the same way. I would never, ever make a child sit at a table restless and bored, strirring up trouble, just for the sake of keeping the group together. I wouldn't let them outdoors where I cannot visually supervise them, but they are welcome to play in the playroom, sit in the living room and look at books, etc. But, then, my kids don't misbehave for the most part.
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Country Kids 04:38 PM 10-22-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBearCanada:
I feel for CK. Sometimes kids do get a 'pack' mentality and don't behave how they know they should. One kicks off then they all do. Personally I don't allow kids down from the table while we are eating. I feel it is bad manners and that they need to learn to wait for others. Eating as a group is a good way to learn social skills. It also teaches kids to eat nicely and not rush or throw a tantrum so that they can be excused. The world does not revolve around them or their schedule. If we are eating as a group we are excused together. (However, I wouldn't keep them waiting for a child with eating issues who is taking a long time. Im talking about waitin 5-10mins). It sounds like you are going to have to be right on each child and if one does get down without permission & starts to run around you could hold their hand until you are finished talking.

I think you have many wonderful things about your program and I'm sorry this group is so tough.
Thank you! You described it to a T! It was like a "pack" mentality and no matter what I said, how I said it, no one was going to listen. I think that is what frustrated me the most. It wasn't just 1 child it was 6 of them. The more I tried the more they were going to act up, misbehave and just be out of control.

I guess what I found sad also, is they wouldn't listen to the other mom either. You have two adults telling children to use manners, be quiet, eat, and sit still and none of them listen. Thats the sad thing-
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NeedaVaca 05:24 PM 10-22-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBearCanada:
I feel for CK. Sometimes kids do get a 'pack' mentality and don't behave how they know they should. One kicks off then they all do. Personally I don't allow kids down from the table while we are eating. I feel it is bad manners and that they need to learn to wait for others. Eating as a group is a good way to learn social skills. It also teaches kids to eat nicely and not rush or throw a tantrum so that they can be excused. The world does not revolve around them or their schedule. If we are eating as a group we are excused together. (However, I wouldn't keep them waiting for a child with eating issues who is taking a long time. Im talking about waitin 5-10mins). It sounds like you are going to have to be right on each child and if one does get down without permission & starts to run around you could hold their hand until you are finished talking.

I think you have many wonderful things about your program and I'm sorry this group is so tough.
This is how I feel too, I keep my kids together, they eat together and are excused together. We talk about manners a lot and this teaches them good behavior at the table. I also think learning good table manners at home and daycare helps so much when they go to restaurants,etc. My kids never throw fits or get upset at all when they are waiting for someone to finish the meal. They are all done about the same time and the ones that are finished usually sing songs together
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Crystal 06:26 PM 10-22-2012
For the record...I don't want anyone to think I was saying that you (general you) keeping the kids together at the table is wrong.....it just wouldn't work for me and my group.

CountryKids......I hope you are able to figure out what will work with your group. I know several years ago I had a group similiar to what you describe and it took all I had to not burn out. Make sure that you take care of yourself so that the stress doesn't get to you. Good luck
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LK5kids 06:37 PM 10-23-2012
{HUGS} to you and I hope all goes well. Keep up the good work
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