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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>WHY won't I term this family!!!
rmc20021 05:49 AM 05-03-2013
I think they have broken every single rule in my policy. There's no way they could have read it, or they are just plain defiant.
I agreed to keep dcg an hour past my closing time on Friday's only...actually, I told them I would do it IF I knew in advance. They have made arrangements for someone else to pick her up by 5:30 every Friday EXCEPT last week, but they made arrangements for me to keep her later (a little after 6 because mom gets off work at 6) and that was fine.
I set up an interview for another family at 6:30 thinking the last dck would be gone by then.
HA!!! Dcm did not get here until 7 pm. I charged her the late pick up fee right in front of the potential client.
They have not asked all week about me keeping dcg after my closing hours for today so when dcd dropped off I said, "She IS being picked up by 5:30, right!). He said yes, but I wasn't convinced.
Since they abused last Friday, I refuse to keep her any more on Fridays past my closing time. By Friday I am DONE. I'm TIRED. I want all the kids GONE by closing...especially considering I also have custody of my two grandkids and they have visitation with their mom at 5:30 on Friday's. It's the ONLY 2 hours per week that I am child free.
Please...SOMEBODY tell me why I just can't seem to term this family. I love the little girl so very much...but I don't want to keep putting up with this families total lack of respect for my policies.
Oh yeah...dcg came in today and told me her mom said she doesn't have to take a nap. Dcm tried to do talk me into it yesterday and I flatly told her no...everyone lies down here. She tried to talk me into letting dcg (who will be 4 in 3 weeks) go outside by herself. I DON'T THINK SO. Then she tried to get me to go outside with her. AGAIN...I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST FRUSTRATED AND VENTING THIS MORNING. THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!
I agreed to keep dcg an hour past my closing time on Friday's only...actually, I told them I would do it IF I knew in advance. They have made arrangements for someone else to pick her up by 5:30 every Friday EXCEPT last week, but they made arrangements for me to keep her later (a little after 6 because mom gets off work at 6) and that was fine.
I set up an interview for another family at 6:30 thinking the last dck would be gone by then.
HA!!! Dcm did not get here until 7 pm. I charged her the late pick up fee right in front of the potential client.
They have not asked all week about me keeping dcg after my closing hours for today so when dcd dropped off I said, "She IS being picked up by 5:30, right!). He said yes, but I wasn't convinced.
Since they abused last Friday, I refuse to keep her any more on Fridays past my closing time. By Friday I am DONE. I'm TIRED. I want all the kids GONE by closing...especially considering I also have custody of my two grandkids and they have visitation with their mom at 5:30 on Friday's. It's the ONLY 2 hours per week that I am child free.
Please...SOMEBODY tell me why I just can't seem to term this family. I love the little girl so very much...but I don't want to keep putting up with this families total lack of respect for my policies.
Oh yeah...dcg came in today and told me her mom said she doesn't have to take a nap. Dcm tried to do talk me into it yesterday and I flatly told her no...everyone lies down here. She tried to talk me into letting dcg (who will be 4 in 3 weeks) go outside by herself. I DON'T THINK SO. Then she tried to get me to go outside with her. AGAIN...I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST FRUSTRATED AND VENTING THIS MORNING. THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:51 AM 05-03-2013
Why do they push so many issues??? That is just bizarre! 
daycarediva 05:59 AM 05-03-2013
Like a bandaid.....right off! 
Why HAVEN'T you termed them???
Why HAVEN'T you termed them???
coolconfidentme 06:21 AM 05-03-2013
Send them the policy to reread with an attached page on the front that says they have (re)read & agree to the policy. If they fail to do it, they are speaking volumes to you. Term them immediately & don't look back....
julie 07:01 AM 05-03-2013
They are breaking every policy because history has shown their consequence is that you will put up with it. You have set the expectation that you want them there by 5:30. So I would draw up a term letter just in case they are late, and have kiddo's stuff ready but out of sight. Then when they ARE late, as you know they will be, you can hand over the kid, the stuff and the letter and term immediately for blatant disrespect. That's what I would do. Sorry you have to lose a kid you like. It's hard when we get so attached!
TheGoodLife 07:17 AM 05-03-2013
Originally Posted by julie:
They are breaking every policy because history has shown their consequence is that you will put up with it. You have set the expectation that you want them there by 5:30. So I would draw up a term letter just in case they are late, and have kiddo's stuff ready but out of sight. Then when they ARE late, as you know they will be, you can hand over the kid, the stuff and the letter and term immediately for blatant disrespect. That's what I would do. Sorry you have to lose a kid you like. It's hard when we get so attached!
They are breaking every policy because history has shown their consequence is that you will put up with it. You have set the expectation that you want them there by 5:30. So I would draw up a term letter just in case they are late, and have kiddo's stuff ready but out of sight. Then when they ARE late, as you know they will be, you can hand over the kid, the stuff and the letter and term immediately for blatant disrespect. That's what I would do. Sorry you have to lose a kid you like. It's hard when we get so attached!
I agree, I would do it just like this. They are being disrespectful and if they are late today I just would be ready for immediate termination. That is just plain disrespectful towards you and your policies 
daycare 07:21 AM 05-03-2013
building a back bone in this business is hard, because there is always a chance a child will get their feelings hurt in the end, or we lose money.
LIke PP said. If you let them always break the rules, well then what rules are there to ask them to follow? Parents are just like kids sometimes and will do anything they can get away with. That is until you stop them.
If this were me, I would draw up a letter stating when you enrolled into the child care, you agreed to the following_________, put it all down on paper for them. I would go over this letter with them and let them know, that they need to get on board. Have them sign in. Make sure that they are aware of the consequences, if they don't follow the rules and YOU need to follow through.
If you say there is a late fee for pick up, and they show up late, CHARGE IT
IF you say no more late stay on Friday's and they are not there to pick up, you call their emergency contacts and find someone to pick her AND you charge late fees until she is picked up.
YOu don't let her back into care until they have paid all late fees..
I know its hard to do, but trust me I have been walked over more than the Las Vegas Strip. It took me a long time to build a back bone, but once I started doing it, I got better at it. Now, I am pretty good at doing it..")
AND Guess what..I am soooo much happier with my childcare business, and my parents seem to have more respect for me...
LIke PP said. If you let them always break the rules, well then what rules are there to ask them to follow? Parents are just like kids sometimes and will do anything they can get away with. That is until you stop them.
If this were me, I would draw up a letter stating when you enrolled into the child care, you agreed to the following_________, put it all down on paper for them. I would go over this letter with them and let them know, that they need to get on board. Have them sign in. Make sure that they are aware of the consequences, if they don't follow the rules and YOU need to follow through.
If you say there is a late fee for pick up, and they show up late, CHARGE IT
IF you say no more late stay on Friday's and they are not there to pick up, you call their emergency contacts and find someone to pick her AND you charge late fees until she is picked up.
YOu don't let her back into care until they have paid all late fees..
I know its hard to do, but trust me I have been walked over more than the Las Vegas Strip. It took me a long time to build a back bone, but once I started doing it, I got better at it. Now, I am pretty good at doing it..")
AND Guess what..I am soooo much happier with my childcare business, and my parents seem to have more respect for me...
rmc20021 07:26 AM 05-03-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
Send them the policy to reread with an attached page on the front that says they have (re)read & agree to the policy. If they fail to do it, they are speaking volumes to you. Term them immediately & don't look back....
I just re-wrote my policy which went into effect April 1st. I also drew up a full sheet that broke down each section and had a space for parents to initial that they understood each thing...which I thought they had signed and returned, but just as I was writing this, I realized they did NOT return it. Send them the policy to reread with an attached page on the front that says they have (re)read & agree to the policy. If they fail to do it, they are speaking volumes to you. Term them immediately & don't look back....
I remembered they had not returned the signed contract by the due date as well so the next day I had another one ready here for them to sign when they dropped off, so no...they didn't sign the darned sheet verifying they understood my policies.
I'm going to write up the term letter right now outlining every policy they've broken. Oh...how I hate this
daycare 07:32 AM 05-03-2013
Originally Posted by rmc20021:
I just re-wrote my policy which went into effect April 1st. I also drew up a full sheet that broke down each section and had a space for parents to initial that they understood each thing...which I thought they had signed and returned, but just as I was writing this, I realized they did NOT return it.
I remembered they had not returned the signed contract by the due date as well so the next day I had another one ready here for them to sign when they dropped off, so no...they didn't sign the darned sheet verifying they understood my policies.
I'm going to write up the term letter right now outlining every policy they've broken. Oh...how I hate this
would you be willing to give them one more chance, if you went over it with them and made sure they knew the rules.I just re-wrote my policy which went into effect April 1st. I also drew up a full sheet that broke down each section and had a space for parents to initial that they understood each thing...which I thought they had signed and returned, but just as I was writing this, I realized they did NOT return it.
I remembered they had not returned the signed contract by the due date as well so the next day I had another one ready here for them to sign when they dropped off, so no...they didn't sign the darned sheet verifying they understood my policies.
I'm going to write up the term letter right now outlining every policy they've broken. Oh...how I hate this
NOt to sound mean, but you didn't follow up with it and they just kept running. I would give them one last go. Be sure to define the rules for them and DEFINE the consequence. Tell them if they break any one of the rules one more time, you will term.....
I had a family like this and I had to hold their hand in the start, walk them through it and once that they saw I meant business and that I was not going to bend, they became really good clients
rmc20021 07:43 AM 05-03-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
would you be willing to give them one more chance, if you went over it with them and made sure they knew the rules.
NOt to sound mean, but you didn't follow up with it and they just kept running. I would give them one last go. Be sure to define the rules for them and DEFINE the consequence. Tell them if they break any one of the rules one more time, you will term.....
I had a family like this and I had to hold their hand in the start, walk them through it and once that they saw I meant business and that I was not going to bend, they became really good clients
You know, that's what I keep saying...give them one more chance, because each time they break a DIFFERENT rule. It's like it's never ending. First time it was picking up late so I charged a late pick up fee. Second time it was paying late so I charged a late payment fee. Another time it was when they sent dcg in flip flops when I have it in my policy NO flip flops....all in bold caps. Another time they dropped off at noon and wanted me to give her a 'snack' because she had already had lunch. No, dck's eat the same thing...there is no SNACK during lunch, only nutricious meals. Another time they picked up during nap...also states in policy no drop off/pickups between 1-3 pm when kids are napping. Once they brought her (3 years old) in the dead of winter with no shoes, boots or coat...wrapped in a blanket. These are only the things I can think of off the top of my head. would you be willing to give them one more chance, if you went over it with them and made sure they knew the rules.
NOt to sound mean, but you didn't follow up with it and they just kept running. I would give them one last go. Be sure to define the rules for them and DEFINE the consequence. Tell them if they break any one of the rules one more time, you will term.....
I had a family like this and I had to hold their hand in the start, walk them through it and once that they saw I meant business and that I was not going to bend, they became really good clients
IF they pick her up on time today I probably will give them one more chance. They are the only ones who keep pushing the limits. My other families started off trying as well, but as I proved to them I would not put up with it, they all shaped up. This family doesn't seem as if they are willing in the least.
AmyKidsCo 07:48 AM 05-03-2013
That's crazy! If they're causing so much stress I'd term them too. You'll find someone else.
daycare 08:06 AM 05-03-2013
Originally Posted by rmc20021:
You know, that's what I keep saying...give them one more chance, because each time they break a DIFFERENT rule. It's like it's never ending. First time it was picking up late so I charged a late pick up fee. Second time it was paying late so I charged a late payment fee. Another time it was when they sent dcg in flip flops when I have it in my policy NO flip flops....all in bold caps. Another time they dropped off at noon and wanted me to give her a 'snack' because she had already had lunch. No, dck's eat the same thing...there is no SNACK during lunch, only nutricious meals. Another time they picked up during nap...also states in policy no drop off/pickups between 1-3 pm when kids are napping. Once they brought her (3 years old) in the dead of winter with no shoes, boots or coat...wrapped in a blanket. These are only the things I can think of off the top of my head.
IF they pick her up on time today I probably will give them one more chance. They are the only ones who keep pushing the limits. My other families started off trying as well, but as I proved to them I would not put up with it, they all shaped up. This family doesn't seem as if they are willing in the least.
oh wow.....wellllll....when you say that way, I guess I would be giving them the boot too....lolYou know, that's what I keep saying...give them one more chance, because each time they break a DIFFERENT rule. It's like it's never ending. First time it was picking up late so I charged a late pick up fee. Second time it was paying late so I charged a late payment fee. Another time it was when they sent dcg in flip flops when I have it in my policy NO flip flops....all in bold caps. Another time they dropped off at noon and wanted me to give her a 'snack' because she had already had lunch. No, dck's eat the same thing...there is no SNACK during lunch, only nutricious meals. Another time they picked up during nap...also states in policy no drop off/pickups between 1-3 pm when kids are napping. Once they brought her (3 years old) in the dead of winter with no shoes, boots or coat...wrapped in a blanket. These are only the things I can think of off the top of my head.
IF they pick her up on time today I probably will give them one more chance. They are the only ones who keep pushing the limits. My other families started off trying as well, but as I proved to them I would not put up with it, they all shaped up. This family doesn't seem as if they are willing in the least.
No $ is worth that much of a headache.
providerandmomof4 08:06 AM 05-03-2013
You will feel so much relief when you term. Its hard but will probably only get worse with this family. Good luck
RosieMommy 01:18 PM 05-03-2013
Originally Posted by rmc20021:
I think they have broken every single rule in my policy. There's no way they could have read it, or they are just plain defiant.
I agreed to keep dcg an hour past my closing time on Friday's only...actually, I told them I would do it IF I knew in advance. They have made arrangements for someone else to pick her up by 5:30 every Friday EXCEPT last week, but they made arrangements for me to keep her later (a little after 6 because mom gets off work at 6) and that was fine.
I set up an interview for another family at 6:30 thinking the last dck would be gone by then.
HA!!! Dcm did not get here until 7 pm. I charged her the late pick up fee right in front of the potential client.
They have not asked all week about me keeping dcg after my closing hours for today so when dcd dropped off I said, "She IS being picked up by 5:30, right!). He said yes, but I wasn't convinced.
Since they abused last Friday, I refuse to keep her any more on Fridays past my closing time. By Friday I am DONE. I'm TIRED. I want all the kids GONE by closing...especially considering I also have custody of my two grandkids and they have visitation with their mom at 5:30 on Friday's. It's the ONLY 2 hours per week that I am child free.
Please...SOMEBODY tell me why I just can't seem to term this family. I love the little girl so very much...but I don't want to keep putting up with this families total lack of respect for my policies.
Oh yeah...dcg came in today and told me her mom said she doesn't have to take a nap. Dcm tried to do talk me into it yesterday and I flatly told her no...everyone lies down here. She tried to talk me into letting dcg (who will be 4 in 3 weeks) go outside by herself. I DON'T THINK SO. Then she tried to get me to go outside with her. AGAIN...I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST FRUSTRATED AND VENTING THIS MORNING. THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!
Unfortunately a lot of parents view their providers like the hired help and treat them that way The flip side of that is a lot of providers don't enforce their policies consistently so it allows families that do this to take advantage of the provider. I would just say when DCM tried to pull whatever, state what your policies are, stick to them and keep it moving. She will continue to ask because some people are those "give an inch take a mile" folks or she's just one of those people who may not inherently respect what you do and wants to see what she can get away with. You probably won't change THAT about her (I'd bet she does it with other people too). So the question is -- is the DCM asking you annoying enough for you to terminate? Like, is she a client you simply cannot deal with? If she's not, I wouldn't terminate her. I have clients I sometimes get rid of because it's just not worth it. Is she one of those people?I think they have broken every single rule in my policy. There's no way they could have read it, or they are just plain defiant.
I agreed to keep dcg an hour past my closing time on Friday's only...actually, I told them I would do it IF I knew in advance. They have made arrangements for someone else to pick her up by 5:30 every Friday EXCEPT last week, but they made arrangements for me to keep her later (a little after 6 because mom gets off work at 6) and that was fine.
I set up an interview for another family at 6:30 thinking the last dck would be gone by then.
HA!!! Dcm did not get here until 7 pm. I charged her the late pick up fee right in front of the potential client.
They have not asked all week about me keeping dcg after my closing hours for today so when dcd dropped off I said, "She IS being picked up by 5:30, right!). He said yes, but I wasn't convinced.
Since they abused last Friday, I refuse to keep her any more on Fridays past my closing time. By Friday I am DONE. I'm TIRED. I want all the kids GONE by closing...especially considering I also have custody of my two grandkids and they have visitation with their mom at 5:30 on Friday's. It's the ONLY 2 hours per week that I am child free.
Please...SOMEBODY tell me why I just can't seem to term this family. I love the little girl so very much...but I don't want to keep putting up with this families total lack of respect for my policies.
Oh yeah...dcg came in today and told me her mom said she doesn't have to take a nap. Dcm tried to do talk me into it yesterday and I flatly told her no...everyone lies down here. She tried to talk me into letting dcg (who will be 4 in 3 weeks) go outside by herself. I DON'T THINK SO. Then she tried to get me to go outside with her. AGAIN...I DON'T THINK SO.
JUST FRUSTRATED AND VENTING THIS MORNING. THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!
I'm curious, what's your style of communication when DCM asks you do to do things that simply violate your policy (like not laying down for nap time etc)?
RosieMommy 01:24 PM 05-03-2013
Originally Posted by rmc20021:
You know, that's what I keep saying...give them one more chance, because each time they break a DIFFERENT rule. It's like it's never ending. First time it was picking up late so I charged a late pick up fee. Second time it was paying late so I charged a late payment fee. Another time it was when they sent dcg in flip flops when I have it in my policy NO flip flops....all in bold caps. Another time they dropped off at noon and wanted me to give her a 'snack' because she had already had lunch. No, dck's eat the same thing...there is no SNACK during lunch, only nutricious meals. Another time they picked up during nap...also states in policy no drop off/pickups between 1-3 pm when kids are napping. Once they brought her (3 years old) in the dead of winter with no shoes, boots or coat...wrapped in a blanket. These are only the things I can think of off the top of my head.
IF they pick her up on time today I probably will give them one more chance. They are the only ones who keep pushing the limits. My other families started off trying as well, but as I proved to them I would not put up with it, they all shaped up. This family doesn't seem as if they are willing in the least.
Another thing I just thought of...do you have something in your handbook that says something like, penalty of picking up late is $15, three late pick ups is grounds for termination, etc? Or something that says so many violations of the handbook is grounds for termination and follow up with the family? If they aren't otherwise annoying, you might write a warning letter reiterating the handbook, citing the violations, explaining that the daycare cannot run efficiently if we're not all on same page and warning them you further violations will result in termination. I just think you should put them on notice UNLESS they are just too much of a headache for you.You know, that's what I keep saying...give them one more chance, because each time they break a DIFFERENT rule. It's like it's never ending. First time it was picking up late so I charged a late pick up fee. Second time it was paying late so I charged a late payment fee. Another time it was when they sent dcg in flip flops when I have it in my policy NO flip flops....all in bold caps. Another time they dropped off at noon and wanted me to give her a 'snack' because she had already had lunch. No, dck's eat the same thing...there is no SNACK during lunch, only nutricious meals. Another time they picked up during nap...also states in policy no drop off/pickups between 1-3 pm when kids are napping. Once they brought her (3 years old) in the dead of winter with no shoes, boots or coat...wrapped in a blanket. These are only the things I can think of off the top of my head.
IF they pick her up on time today I probably will give them one more chance. They are the only ones who keep pushing the limits. My other families started off trying as well, but as I proved to them I would not put up with it, they all shaped up. This family doesn't seem as if they are willing in the least.